My mum had a fall 3 years ago and had a broken hip also diabetes and heart issues
she brought a chair to be go out however it is down to me her only child to lift the chair in and out of everywhere and I hate it. It’s so heavy I have severe shoulder pain each time it rips my clothes and gets mud all over them I feel I cannot do it anymore but if I don’t her life is even more limited than it is.

DH has put a fresh bar of soap out today, his trusty Imperial Leather. He thinks it’s a classy soap based on his childhood perspective in the late 1970s. I think it’s one step up from carbolic. I want Jo Malone soap 😢

AIBU - imperial leather is pure luxury
AINBU - what next, waxy toilet paper?

I saw a woman wearing a black t-shirt today with a square panel on the front with two zebras and bead embellishments. She told me it was from Next fairly recently. Can I find it online? Can I heck. Has anyone seen it please? Thanks.

I need advice 🤗 I lost three stone over the last year or so, the eat less/eat better/move more way.

I'm 63, way past meno and the weight gain crept up over 16 years or so when redundancy, unemployment, peri and the uncertainty of freelancing became my reality.

I finally faced the truth, took control and lost it after several gynae operations under general anaesthetic, plus sensible thinking about my history of back, shoulder and varicose vein problems, plus difficulty hauling myself out of the bath ... And several photos and videos including me that friends posted online ... I decided NOPE and did it.

Anyway ... The problem is, none of my clothes fit. Everything is floppy, saggy, baggy and pinned. I went down a jeans size and a bra band size and so bought a few new bits, but for a long time there has been precious little money for new clothes.

Last time I bought a flurry of new clothes was 2010 when the redundancy money landed. Before that was just before leaving uni, so this has never been in my world.

I'm 5'8, 12 stone / size 16 (aiming for 14), 36D top, still quite big bum, and defined waist. I have a business and busy activities, tho not currently a full time job. I prefer natural fibres, longer skirts, upper arms covered, V necks. Summer is long dress / skirt and light top and sandals, winter jeans or thick skirt and tights, boots, fitted jersey tops & jumpers & coats.

I do like a charity shop, currently wearing my beautiful charry Jaeger ankle length grey fine wool skirt ... With an enormous safety pin to stop it falling down...

So could I ask - what you would advise? How to build a new budget capsule wardrobe from scratch that can build and grow and serve the person I am now?

I love it but 1. Is it too summery for September? 2. If it’s chilly what would you wear with it and 3. I’m 5 foot 4 the model is 5 foot 9, the trousers are going to swamp aren’t they?

But I love it and it is following me about the internet in the sale with a massive discount.

It’s not my vow renewal btw it’s my dads.

I think I’ve messed up the biggest opportunity I’ve ever had and cannot stop overthinking it and worrying about it😢

im in the process of getting a trainee/graduate position sorted for after graduation. Some firms are really popular and sought after and notoriously difficult to get a position in. I’ve got to the final interview stage at my absolute number 1 choice. I already interviewed online and passed the initial stages (including a group session which wasn’t hosted at the firm itself) and the last stage was an in person interview at the firm and also for them to show you round and meet different people for the day.

I don’t know why I thought it was the done-thing to do, but I brought chocolates for them to say thank you for having me for the afternoon. It was a large box of Belgian chocolates from m&s. I just sort of thought there was a lot of people giving up their time to show me round, chat to me and interview and I just thought it was the sort of thing you did in this situation to say thank you! Sort of like last day of work experience when you bring gifts to thank people for giving up their time

I briefly mentioned it to my friends who were a bit like wtf, why would you do that, and a bit flabbergasted that I thought I should do it. They said I’m going to look like I’m trying to win them over and that it makes me look immature and really unaware for doing it for not realising it’s all just an interview and they’re not showing me round out the good of their heart

I think it just sort of left me that it was all a big giant interview process and I just thought hey, they’re giving up their time to meet me and show me stuff, I’ll get them a little thing to say thank you because that’s what you’re supposed to do?! But I sort of lost sight that them showing me round and all the people meeting me were all just part of the interview process, and now I’ve made myself look like a complete idiot

just so as to not drop feed, I didn’t grow up with parents and had to teach myself a lot of stuff like this, especially social situations and formal work stuff. It’s all completely new to me and I don’t have anyone to go back to and ask for advice unfortunately.

i really wanted this position, and now im worried sick I’ve blown it and made myself look stupid, or that I didn’t appreciate that it was all part of the interview process (which in turn makes me look stupid too). Does anyone work at a firm and could advise me if I’ve made myself look like a complete idiot?

thanks😢

I live near a really nice spa and the cost is about £200 for a day with treatments and lunch. A long time friend who lives over 3 hours drive from me has always wanted to go and had been repeatedly asking could we book to go and she stay at my house after. I have no problem with her staying with me, except I have 3 kids, work full time in a busy role and most weeks are busy with sports and activities, so not always easy to find time or money for days like this with mortgage, childcare cost and general COL. Friend works part time and has older teens and has never had childcare costs and has mortgage paid off due to divorce and living in an area with much lower housing costs.

So after many times of her sending me info on different packages I book and my card is used to hold the booking with 48 hour cancellation policy. The day before we were due to go my friend rang and said she could not come as her DS injured his leg at school and needed to go to a&e, fair enough I would not expect her to travel 3 hours away when that happened. She then contacted me the next day to say sorry that she could not go and that there is a spa half way maybe we could meet at that one in future as it was unfair to expect her to do all the driving. I was really annoyed as it was her that kept asking to come to the one near me, I did not suggest it. I asked how her DS is feeling, she said oh he’s fine didn’t go to a&e and put a bag of frozen veg on his leg.

Due to short notice I still had to pay the full cost, I ended up going myself as none of my friends nearby were free with less than 24 hours notice, friend didn’t offer any money for her part despite knowing I had to pay hers due to late notice. AIBU to be furious with the whole situation and think she is not much of a friend despite knowing each other since school.

At my wits end with my sister. Shes always been chaotic and our family have always bent over backwards to help her.

3 years ago she text me saying she was pregnant. She had been talking a while about wanting baby but she was only 23, and not in the right head space. She told 3 different men that they might be the dad and for dna tests. I just couldn’t believe it to be honest, and just felt from day one she wouldn’t be able to cope.

It was drama from day 1. The dad stepped up and from birth supported her financially and saw his/their child regularly. Now the baby is 2, and he has her more than 50% of the week. My mum has reinforced to my sister that this is “right” and my nieces day should be stepping up (?) - he’s ALWAYS stepped up from day 1?

My sister hasn’t changed her life since she had her daughter. She still goes out drinking, still does what she wants. She got together with another man when she was 1 month postpartum and devoted most of her time to dating, at the expense of her daughter. She regularly changes her days with her daughter and asks if her dad can look after her. Shes always “working” on the weekends, and on the rare occasion she has her daughter scheduled to see her, she always asks me or our mum to “help” her.

Since Christmas she hasn’t had one weekend with her child. Today she’s text me asking if I can “do her contact days” for 2 weeks in August as she is going to Ibiza with her friends. I’ve asked why she’s leaving her daughter to do this and got a load of vitriol back from her, saying she’s a single mum and deserves a break. She text me back later and said her daughter’s father is having their daughter for 10 days, and then my mum is having her for a day, can I have her for 2 days?

I’m so annoyed. I love my niece but I feel like I’m supporting a lifestyle for my sister which is incompatible with being a mum!

I feel stuck in the middle and judgemental …

Please be kind I’m really feeling low right now. I’m trying to make my home look better as I feel really depressed that the house had been neglected. I followed the instructions given by this lady on tik tok who has transformed her home. She’s in her 60’s and a novice not professional. She made everything look so easy and I thought I can do it rather than pay someone hundreds.

I spent £55 on a sander which she recommended any electrical cordless one which I got, sanding pads £12, primer £27, door paint £35. Plus painters and rollers. Already I’ve spent more than was quoted to paint door. The door looks awful. Even though I put masking tape around it the paint has splattered onto the brick wall around it. I put sheets down but there’s paint over the patio. The paintwork looks awful. I really feel fed up. Spent a good amount of time yesterday sanding, priming etc. I don’t want to waste today as well. I have young kids so they’ve been neglected whilst I do this. I feel I’ve had no downtime this weekend and back to a bloody stressful and demanding job tomorrow. House is a mess as I didn’t do my usual cleaning on Saturday. I’m so fed up I feel like crying and did last night!

plus youngest has a class party today service parents are expected to supervise at. Why did I even bother trying to make my house look better? I’m a useless loser who can’t even paint a door

Interviewing for a senior position in the NHS but recently postpartum and nothing I own fits.. last time I did an interview was pre-pandemic!

I'm probably a size 10 maybe even 12 now (previously 8 but also pretty short so was in proportion) now carrying extra weight around the middle and will likely need "shapewear" to wear underneath.

Would ideally like to wear a dress and a blazer but can't seem to find much of this anywhere these days?! I'm mid 30s so don't want anything too dated. A friend of mine said trouser suits are much more popular now rather than dresses/skirts.. is this true? I'm not keen on skirts but could work with high-waisted trouser suit. For shoes, thinking flat black ballet pumps/loafers (can't wear heels are a knee injury).

Very grateful for some suggestions! Thank you :)

Meghan and Harry the grift that keeps on grifting. Long may they continue. Better than any soap opera on the telly.

Hii,, we are moving to Norwich this summer with 2 kids so we are looking for family friendly areas we need to decide which area to go for.
NR2: Recreation school but small houses and higher prices but near to the city.
Nr7: a bit far but you get more for your money but don't know if its more family friendly or more for old people
New lakenham: affordable, big houses, lakenham primary school for both kids 20 mins to city centre but got mixed opinions about it some say avoided and some say its okay but they prefer to live somewhere else.
please advise me which area you will prepare to live at.
Thank you

Does anyone else have a thing for front doors? I just love looking at front doors, sounds random but I love architecture and interior design, my favourite would be a Victorian timber door, especially in pretty colours. I’d love to have a Victorian house worthy of a beautiful stained glass front door but alas we live in a 1970s build and it wouldn’t look quite right. I follow Gelata doors on instagram and they post some beautiful doors like this one 😍 Just wondered if anyone else is like this or just me?

Seen a job advertised and I am really interested in it.

for me it would be a 20k pay increase and as a single mom of 2 it would be huge for me.

they have said it’s a hybrid role which involves travelling to 3 locations in the country. The locations are central to me, 2.5hrs one area and 2/2.5hrs the other.

they said I have autonomy over my diary, you have the ability to have overnights to group them together and reduce travel.

id have to go and visit the other locations on average 8-10times a year.

the director said to me the travel can be 4 days a week, 2 days the weeks after depending on what’s happening.

the post holder said to me she usually does 2-3 days a week at home and usually does a day of travel and then a day at home to balance it out.

there is no travel in school holidays as this is WFH.

she said they are very chilled as long as you get your work done there is no expectation to log on after a day of travel as this is included in the working day.

my worry is

• will I be burnout from travelling 1-2 long days a week
• I’m worried I might miss seeing the kids but this isn’t all the time
• I don’t have the ability to just drop everything and travel 2hrs the following day. This is ok if I plan it.

I don’t mind travelling but would love to hear from others that do something similar in the week and how they handle it? is it worth the pay rise.
there is no job progression and nothing in the past 18months has come up like this for me.

this pay rise could be huge for me as I have to buy my ex out of the house which will increase my mortgage by £400 a month!

all expenses are covered, you get a fuel card etc

any advice? The fear is taking over

Have been working the last year with a child who has been diagnosed PDA. Took me a while but I’ve finally got it and seen so many improvements. Anyone in education in the same boat?

I need help finding a perfect dress /outfit to wear for dinner / drinks / club please!
I'm getting no where looking on line.
I'm blonde, 5ft 9, size 10, aged 44.
I want something that makes me feel amazing post a depressing end to my marriage.
Any help is much appreciated!

DS 4 was invited to a birthday party tomorrow. He cant go as its his cousins party the same day (different nursery no cross over friends).

The mum of the birthday girl created a WhatsApp group with everyone invited. Im still in it although I did tell the mum we couldn't come.

Anyway, today she sends a message. She invited "extra " people incase some couldnt make it. She over invited what the venue will allow by 5. 3 couldnt make it so its still 2 over. She has straight up tagged 2 mums to ask that they keep their DC at home as she doesnt have space.

One has replied kicking off that shes told her DC they are going and moved plans and it will cause huge upset.

Glad im well out of it but this is a bit shit right? Personally I think its awful the day before to suddenly spring on that 2 children cant come. Why would you over invite in the first place?

The group is kicking off now but the mum maintains everyone does this?! Im new to all this but I wouldnt even consider doing that.

Eaten tuna 🤢

Monstrous food eaten by those with poor morals.

Second wedding, 100+ guests. I can’t get out of attending but AIBU to be annoyed about the following:

Remote venue which means either driving or paying for taxis. Some transport has been laid on but guests are being charged to use it

A honeymoon fund complete with bank details

A dress code request only shared 2 weeks before the day when most people will have bought outfits

There are other minor things but these have particularly annoyed me as the first two seem tight and grabby - you don’t invite people then expect them to pay and if you can afford a big do you should pay for your own bloody holiday. The third is just thoughtless and sums up the ‘all about them never mind their guests’ attitude.

I’m sure there are worse bride/groomzillas out there but AIBU to find this a bit of a piss take when we’re already spending several hundred on accommodation as we don’t live nearby.

I’ve started noticed more and more women who have drawn their lipstick around their lips, rather than just on them. AIBU to find this quite weird? I think it is meant to make their lips look fuller but it usually looks as though they missed their lips and decided that it would do. One of the contestants on Race Across the World used to do it.

Is this a new make up trend that has just passed me by? It’s rather unnerving.

I like to go to a particular event with a friend that is held every few months. She doesn't want to go anymore, it is not her scene.
We have got to know other people there & I speak to a couple of women who go there on their own. I'm a bit nervous of going on my own in case I feel like a spare part.
But here is my dilemma. We have been welcomed with open arms by a group of men. No ulterior motives from any of them. When I discussed about going on my own they said I could hang around with them. The trouble is a connection is starting to develop with one of them so I don't know whether to go on my own. I really want to carry on going because I love the event; but I'd be lying if I said he wasn't an influence on my decision to go on my own. Nothing can develop from this connection though, & nothing will. He feels it too, we've discussed it last month.
Is it going to look like I'm going so that I can chase him? Will I look like a pain in the ass hanger on, a spare part?
I think I shouldn't go as this is what I'll look like, but life is too short to not go to things you enjoy doing.

Summery dress ideas for a lunch barbeque (20th wedding anniv party) pls ?

I'm a recently turned size 16 ....from size 12 for ages and then briefly sz 14...so its hard to figure out best flattering drapes for the new size that I am still getting used to !!! Pls help me !!!

https://www.mirror.co.uk/3am/celebrity-news/harper-beckhams-devastating-gesture-after-37292907.amp

AIBU to feel sorry for Harper? If BB has an issue with his parents it shouldn’t mean that he also stops talking to his siblings. It’s equally as sad if the parents did choreographed the letter/visit.

I’ve been watching hygiene tok and now wondering if I’ve not been showering myself properly all my life.

Saw a woman who uses an unscented bar soap for sensitive areas, antibacterial bar soap for smelly areas, then a body scrub, then a shower gel applied with a African net sponge, then lightly dries herself and applies body oil, then a body lotion, then a glycolic acid treatment under arms and under boobs and then FINALLY clinical strength deodorant. The video was called something like ‘how to not stink this summer’. I’ve never even done half those steps in one shower. I shower at least daily using a bar soap/shower gel and I do exfoliate every other day.

am I missing something?!

And if so, what's in there?!
I think I do, in so much that despite a fairly busy life I spend quite a lot of time in my own head, and I like it.
For me, a rich inner life means I enjoy thinking about a range of 'non essential' things like music, nature, art. I'm interested in my own ideas and in how I process the world around me. I am company for myself, if that makes sense.
Unsurprisingly I'm therefore quite happy spending time alone. I am also very sociable. So it's not at the expense of connecting with others.