Could partner be more supportive about travel fiasco?

[Oxycarpus]

I'm in a LDR with a man whose take home pay is 5x mine. I've just organised a holiday where we travelled solely by train from home then Eurostar to Amsterdam then Paris. I feel like I went above and beyond booking every leg of the journey plus hotels. Unfortunately, my train from home was badly delayed and I missed the Eurostar. His was fine and he got the Eurostar. In short, I've had to fork out a small fortune getting there by alternative means. He's offered a back rub to make me feel better but it would be nice if he chipped in to help me. AIBU?

Yes.

Why did you pay for it all

The OP said she organised it all, not paid for it all.

I'm not really sure it would occur to me OP, to give someone money because they missed their train.

Having said that, I hope you're both paying your way food and drink-wise etc and that he's not taking advantage?

Its pretty much implied that she paid for it, else she wouldn't mention his salary in the first line

Are you not entitled to compensation for the late train?

She would if she expected money from him because she missed her train.

But that may be just the way I read it.

Hmmm I see what yiu mean. I read it as she paid for everything and now this missed connection is the last straw, shes pissed off he has done so little to help fund the holiday.

Can you clarify op

You can reclaim the cost of the ticket from the train company.

this sort of shit is why I only book open tickets and leave multiple hours of spare time.

it wouldn’t occur to me to offer to pay for a friend/partners additional costs though

You expect him to pay you money because you missed your train?

This sounds really transactional.

I presumed that was mentioned to justify her entitlement at expecting him to stump for her travel bill.

He's paid exactly half to the penny after I (more fool me) spent hours organising it and now have to pay an extra £250 costs because of a missed train. I may get 60 quid back from the original train fare but not the rest. I think you should offer to help me out seeing as he's quite well off

I'm not sure what the expectation is here. Are you wanting him to send you money because your train was delayed?

Is it some kind of sugar daddy situation?

Golddigger vibes

If you want money because you missed your train, ask him for it.

Are you an escort?

Can’t you claim on your travel insurance OP?

I do think it's a bit shit if he's a lot more well off to be strictly 50/50 about everything.

You're supposed to be on holiday having fun together, and now you're worried about money while he's fine.

I'm on a mini wage. He's well off..in my culture, we'd offer to help in that situation. I'm not asking for the whole lot. Just an offer.

If the roles were reversed would you offer OP? If so then I can understand how you’d feel him not offering. Been together long? Is he generous? If he has shown signs he is not (and I’m not implying gold digger territory here) then I would think carefully about a LTR with that kind of man.

I am generous. Sadly (and most often disappointed) it is rarely reciprocated.

Is he also from your culture?

Yes he is.

Personally, in his situation, I would never just ping money across for this - it'd feel transactional and more than a little insulting.

But if you'd expect him to do it, because your shared culture says he should, then I'd definitely talk to him about it so you're on the same page with this stuff.

My bf is on a better wage than me, so if we're going on a trip, he'll often pay a bit more - like we had a city break and I paid for the gig tickets, he paid the hotel, I paid for lunches, he paid dinners.

I think blindly doing 50/50 sounds fair, but it is limiting as then you have to stay firmly within the budget of the lower paid person.

And being all to the penny is probably a case of being tight.

Why though?

i do t get why it cost you so much more either

I fund my own travel. I wouldn't ask for or expect money from anyone else in this situation.

Just tell him the extra £250 has left you broke. John.If he does nothing finish it