Aibu to take a years sabbatical to be a sahm when my children are older

[Chicci1]

Ive been thinking more and more about taking an unpaid year to two years off work next year. My work permits it once in a career for up to five years. We could afford it for one to two years but I’d then want to go back to build my pension up. I work in law and in my particular area, it is full time and full on with no part time options. I’ve worked full time always and particularly when the dc were babies and small which I have some guilt about. They’ll be 9 and 11 if and when I take this year. Has anyone taken some time out at a similar point? I’m worried about regretting it in terms of career progression, finances and just wasting the opportunity at a time when my children are, in theory, at an easier age. On the other hand I do feel that I’ll regret it if I don’t try it and I do think that my children (particularly the 11 year old) could do with extra support at this age and they’re aging out of camps and childcare.

Do it, take it for yourself as well. Work is relentless and life is so fleeting x

What an amazing opportunity. If you can afford it, take it.

I would absolutely do this if I could, too. My DSs are 13 & 9 and I’d give anything to have that chunk of time with them again (I work FT now but was very PT even up to a couple of years ago!) Go for it!

OP, if you can afford it, go for it. Your work will still be there when you go back, your children are young for such a tiny window, and they'll never be 9&11 again.

What happens if after two years, your kids beg you not to go back to FT work?

Wow what job is this? I’m in private practice and I’d definitely do this.

I’d wait a couple of years as I found my teens needed me around a lot maybe as the youngest goes into year 7?? Otherwise they will be used to you being around and when they are in teen years you’ll be gone again… they may find that hard when they are in the thick of teen years!

I know not everyone’s teens are the same.. you know your kids best! It’s a great opportunity!

Do it. You're unlikely to regret spending time with them.

At age 9 and 11 no I wouldn’t bother. Sorry OP I think the time to have done it was a few years back - if not before starting school at least reception /year 1 age when there’s always events on at school that take up time. My eldest is 10 and honestly they are so much more independent in the last year that taking 1-2 years out would be a waste of missing pension contributions

I would agree. 9 and 12 was easy street for me. ( although thinking about it it was lockdown so we were together!) but you'd have to go back and possibly build your career back up just as they were hitting their teens. I would either do it later or go really part time for all the exam years ( preferable for me- they're at school for most of the day)

Do it!! I'm jealous

I found the teen years much, much harder than those ages, both at home and work, so if doing this would do it for something like GCSE year!

I look for ways to help the DC / manage / feel better week to week.

Do it. This is a no brainer. Why would you be unreasonable to do this?

YANBU but I would do this GCSE year 11 - I know a few women who have been privileged enough to do this.

We took some time off last year and spent much more time as a family. Kids 4-8 years old. It was lovely to have more time for them and do fun things together. I’d say do it while they are a lovely age and still want to do things with you.

Do it! I have kinda done something similar by leaving full time work to follow my husband abroad for his work on a temporary contract. My kids are 13 and 10 and with busy school life, homework, and social stuff it’s fantastic to be able to support and facilitate so much more for them than I could before when I worked. I’m also enjoying my time with them so much and they won’t be kids for much longer!

As a mother i think you will carry guilt no matter what you do. However, would you really be doing it for the kids or yourself? It can be relentless being a full time working parent in a full on job even if kids are much older

Do it. I had an inheritance when my children were younger which allowed me to pay down some of the mortgage then take a couple of years off to spend with the kids, doing very part time work such as exam invigilation and volunteering at a local school.

I really enjoyed that time and was great to be free every school holiday for camping trips and just generally relaxing

In my early 40s decided to take a one year career break when my kids were 3, 12 and 14. Up until that point i had been working full-time from the age of 16, but i still felt i need to justify myself 😅

It lasted all of 3 months... an old collegue grabbed me off the street 'for a chat' and had me working at his firm 3 days later. It had never occurred to me that i had the option to work flexibly part-time. It was an easier, more junior job, but as i was competent i could manage myself and my time independently.

I did that for 3 years, then i felt ready to go back to full-time in a role i could really sink my teeth into.

Seems a bit of a waste to do it for no reason when it's only allowed once. You don't know what life may throw at you.

This is a fair point about not knowing what's coming up, but it think OP has a good reason, and if something bad were to come up i don't think that OP is going to be regretting having spent time with the kids and making the most of her life whislt she's fit and healthy.

We could all get run over tomorrow or get a cancer diagnosis, but it shouldn't prevent us from living the best life we can, whilst we can really enjoy it.

I think those referencing teenage years being much more difficult and so it'd be better to take time then are spot on.

Completely agree. Kids need us more than ever at this stage, thinking that you can just "let them get on with it" can be a big mistake. Obviously we should encorage independence, but that shouldn't mean distance. Patents need to be familiar and approachable during teenage years, doing things together and keeping talking is so important.