AIBU to think you shouldn't have to specify your food order as "on its own" if you don't want a side and they cost extra?

[SidesAside]

A wet and cold Bank Holiday Sunday where I am. DH and I decided to go with our original plan of visiting a garden centre, but to pad the day out a bit as we wouldn't be looking around outside, I suggested stopping off on the way for lunch at a cheap and cheerful chain pub that has nice lakeside views.

For context, come rain or shine, workday or weekday, we always have a light lunch, e.g. sandwich and then a substantial dinner in the evening.

We arrived, found a table and I looked at the menu. I found a list of sandwiches and chose one. It's an order at the bar and pay place, so I kept the table and DH went up with the order.

He came back and said, "You've got spicy potato wedges as a side."

I said, "The menu didn't mention it came with a side, I didn't want one."

He said, "It didn't cost any extra."

I looked again at the menu and saw, under the list of sandwiches, a footnote saying "Add a side for £1.50' with a list of sides, potato wedges, onion rings and so on. I checked the receipt and we had indeed paid £1.50 for unwanted wedges. Now, I am not fussed about £1.50 but I pointed out we'd now paid for something that would go to waste.

DH became defensive and said "But you didn't ask for a prawn caibatta "on its own"".

I said, "Surely I shouldn't have to as the sides are an extra, you know I never normally order sides, even if we're having a main meal." [for context we have been married over 20 years].
DH repeated "You should have asked for it "on its own"."

I didn't want to spoil the day with a petty argument so I said, "In short, you've been a victim of upselling - just please, engrave in your mind for the future that unless I specifically say I want a side, whether it's included or not, I don't want one."

I then changed the subject, we carried on with our day and had a pleasant enough time considering the weather.

But who is being unreasonable here -

• Me, for not asking for the sandwich 'on its own'
• DH for saying I should have asked for it 'on its own'
• The pub for what sounds like sneaky upselling.

Opinions welcome!

If we were in this position I'd have come back to double check with OH if she wanted a side

Better safe than sorry 🙂🙂

You said to your DH he’d been a victim of upselling over £1.50 wedges and to not do that again 🥴🥴🥴
you may not have had an argument but you sound very rigid about your light lunch every day
maybe next time you order the food

You're definitely being unreasonable. You didn't want an argument, but you absolutely wanted the last word! If my husband spoke to me the way you did to him I'd have fucked off and left him to his lunch. Ridiculous fuss over nothing.

You’re being unreasonable for moaning about some £1.50 wedges.

eugh really? you are this angry about £1.50 that you've argued with your husband and are now seeking extra views online.
maybe order for yourself next time.

You didnt want to ruin the day with a petty argument about essentially nothing so why even bother mentioning it. Yabu

YABU for saying "please engrave in your mind". If my DH spoke to me like that I would throw a £1.50 portion of potato wedges at his face.

I agree the default assumption would be without a side if it's extra, but honestly the way you spoke to your DH (if it was as you've written here) would piss me right off.

Personally I'd either be glad I had some bonus wedges, or leave them to the side if I didn't want them. I wouldn't berate my husband like a toddler.

I can't believe these responses so far!

Of course you shouldn't have to specify that you don't want fries with a sandwich when the menu doesn't say that the sandwich comes with fries!

I'll bet he also knows that you would rarely ask for a side with a sandwich, if you eat lunch out a lot.

Your DH was dork, on this occasion.

I probably would have looked at that and thought I can't be bother going back to check so for the sake of £1.50 I'll get wedges and if she doen't want them I'll eat them.

I’m guessing your DH wanted the extraneous wedges.

You do sound very rigid. Do you never do anything or try anything different from your usual routine?

Your remarks sound like a perfect way to spoil what could be a lovely relaxing lunch.

Did you honestly say those exact words to your DH? I wonder how you speak to people you don’t like if that’s how you speak to someone you’re supposed to love! 😂

You sound like hard work, just eat the wedges or let him eat them!

Sounds like your DH got defensive about being questioned about the side, and then you both dug your heels in a bit. If I’d asked for a sandwich and not specified a side, I would expect DH to come back and ask if they’d suggested it at the till. But I really want to know what he ordered and whether he had a side dish…

I have never not wanted wedges or fries so I simply can't imagine this causing much of an issue in my life. Happy to be an up selling victim. #teamwedges

Personally I'd either be glad I had some bonus wedges, or leave them to the side if I didn't want them. I wouldn't berate my husband like a toddler.

I'd be cross that my lunch out now required me to exercise self-control not to eat the considerable calories in a portion of fries, cross that he knew I don't routinely eat fries with a sandwich but bought them anyway, cross that he'd been so easily upsold, cross that he'd ordered a side for me because he wanted to feel less guilty about eating more than he needed for lunch for himself, cross about wasting food that good money had been paid for.

Take your pick.

I hope you ate them? £1.50 is a bargain, unless they were awful.

You must spend a large chunk of your life quite cross.

Do people really live like this?

I want some spicy potato wedges now!

No, my husband wouldn't be such a dork over casually shoving unnecessary calories and really unhealthy food down my throat or his own.

Your DH went with it and thought he’d done a nice thing.

he got not wrong.

However not as wrong as your attitude towards him and the way you spoke to him.

I hope you’re going to tell him that you consulted MN and indeed most people think YABU and you’re sorry?

DH was unreasonable. You asked for the sandwich for your lunch, if you'd wanted sides you'd have said so. He knows a sandwich would be enough for you, for lunch. He was as wet as a lettuce not to just say 'no thank you' at the till.

asking for it 'on its own' is NOT a thing, if you wanted to ADD something you would have. If you almost always had the extra fries or whatever I could maybe understand him thinking you'd forgotten to say which you'd itefer, but given you never do, then he was in the wrong, completely.

the staff were not unreasonable, upselling is part of their job