AIBU to block my sister after feeling unsupported and ignored?

[Unbelievable2025]

So I have had a rocky relationship with my sister for a while now. She does not care about what is going on in my life. Her family and her life is all that matters. I have gone through years of Fertility treatments to finally have my little girl. She is autistic. My sister is her godmother. She sees her maybe 2-3 times a year max. My sister is a teacher and has all the holidays that go with that. Still no effort is made. She has 4 children her self but they are all over 10 now so I understand she is busy. Recently my DD went through a very challenging time and I spoke to my sister briefly on the phone. She kept the conversation short. Last week I had to put down my almost 16 year old dog and I was beyond devastated. I went to a very dark place indeed. I held her as she left this world. My sister was aware from the very sad messages I sent and responded via text on the day. No phone call. She finally asked me how I was today. I said I thought you would call me. She was like oh I’ll buzz you later. I said it’s fine don’t bother and blocked her. I’m done begging for her to give a shit. Have I over reacted?

Your sister hasn’t done anything wrong or been unkind, you’re just not having the level of contact you’d like. I’m not sure what blocking her is meant to achieve.

Out of interest, how often do you make an effort to see her kids? To engage with what’s going on in her life?

It sounds like you want more from her than it's really her responsibility to give. She also has a complicated life - four children, a high pressure job.

What's your age gap, which of you is older, what's your family background like, what's the wider family dynamic now?

I don't see how blocking her helps you, but it might give her a bit of space!

If you haven't had a great relationship up till now, then it probably didn't cross her mind to call you. But she did text you.

Have you called her over the past few years, or just stuck to messaging?

I rarely phone anyone now, even close family members.

I don't think she has done anything wrong. But I can understand in your grief you wanted more. But that's not the relationship you have had in the past.

Sorry for the loss of your dog 💐

What will you get out of blocking her? Honestly what will you gain? Nothing?

You sound like you need far more emotional support than she has the means to provide you with.

That is your issue - not hers - where is your partner in all this?

My sister is her godmother.

despite always having a rocky relationship and quite evidently actually not even liking her in the slightest.

er. I said it’s fine don’t bother and blocked her. I’m done begging for her to give a shit. Have I over reacted?

I suspect she will be relieved once she realises

If you aren’t close, which it sounds like you aren’t, it may not even occur to her that you would want her to be your emotional support. She did nothing to deserve being blocked.

I’m sorry for all the horrible things you’ve gone through recently, especially the loss of your dog. I know how heartbreaking it is to lose them.

Having said that, I think you’re expecting more from your sister than she either wants to give to you, or has time to give to you. She hasn’t done anything wrong, it’s mismatched expectations. It would be wonderful if you had that close sort of relationship where you were best friends, but you don’t. Not your fault, not her fault. It just isn’t there. And I think you’re turning your disappointment in that, in her direction which is unfair on her.

So unless there’s some huge back story where she’s treated you badly your entire life and you feel healthier removing her from your life, then I think yabu to block her simply because she isn’t providing you with the support you need and want.

My SIL wants more from me than I can give her, its tiring, I work full time, have a social life, learning to play an instrument, just done a post grad course - I cannot give her what she needs - I would be glad if she blocked me

The first rule of Passive Aggressive Club is ….

You know what?
Never mind.

It’s fine.

Write that out from your sister’s point of view, and see what you think.

So Sorry about the loss of your dog.

but you sound really hard work: the world doesn’t revolve around you

Sorry for the loss of your dog. It is easy to overreact when you are going through a tough time. Honestly I hate this culture of "block em" that is happening at the moment. It achieves nothing, especially in this case because she is your sister and long term you can't keep her blocked.

Its sad she doesnt call you as often as youd like but Id be interested to know how often you call her, or visit her, or want to see her kids.

I'm sorry for the loss of your beloved dog 💐

Your sister has a lot on her plate too - a high pressure and stressful job and 4 children. That's a lot, I expect she's very busy and too worn out for phone calls when she finally sits down at the end of the day (I know I am!)

It sounds like you are expecting more from her than she has the capacity to give. I also have an autistic child, he's an adult now, and I know how challenging it can be. It's difficult for others to understand if they are not parenting a child with additional needs. Is there anywhere else you can look to for support? Have a look online and in your local area - there are lots of support groups of parents who get together and understand each other's challenges.

I think blocking your sister was the wrong thing to do, sorry. You need to lower your expectations and accept that she has a busy life herself and can't always be at the end of the phone to give support.

Just because she is your sister doesn’t mean she is your emotional support person - she has 4 kids and a teacher !!! Even over 10 that is a lot of work.

It wouldn’t even occur to me to call my sister if she was putting her dog down I’d probably send a message too… You want more out of your relationship than she does it doesn’t mean you need to block her maybe just adjust your expectations of what your sibling relationship actually looks like.

I think I just heard the champagne popping upon the sister realising she’s been blocked

You sound like you are relying on her for emotional support- she is not obliged to give this. Why are you chasing a close relationship with her? Why do you expect this? I think asking yourself these questions would give you some clarity. I am assuming your sister is older and your mother is not around.. hugs xx

I’m very sorry to hear about the loss of your dog.

Your sister isn’t there to be your emotional support person. She has four children to your no one. Were you there to support her when each of them were little?

And you say “over 10” but your kids really don’t stop needing you when they are that age.

I have two children over ten. With that and working full time, I am completely at capacity. I would have no time to emotionally support anyone else.

Also it sounds like you were messaging her, and she responded by message - so the same means of communication.

It’s usually frowned upon to call someone who has messaged you! Why didn’t you call her if you wanted to speak?

Godmother? Maybe you'd find more support at your church? @Unbelievable2025

(I'm a Godmother and I'm not expected to do anything 😳 in fact, I forgot I was one until I read your OP)

Sorry but I can’t wrap my head around your sister, a mother of four with a full time job, coming to see her niece 2-3 times a year as being “no effort.” I also do not understand why you blocked her when she was with you by message the entire day your dog was pts and sensitively waited a week to call you to see how you were doing?

How many times do you go to see her in a year?

Also, school holidays aren’t teacher holidays. There are in service days covering all but Christmas and summer breaks. For summer, teachers usually keep going to work for a week after school ends and start a week before school starts. During summer they have grading to do, they have to do their continuous training to stay qualified, and they have to update the curriculum for the next school year.

It sounds like you've designated your sister as your expected emotionally supportive person but have you two ever had that sort of relationship? I think sometimes you have to really focus on who is good to you without caring if they are family or not.

I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your dog.

But honestly, it's not your sister's job to be your emotional support. She has her own busy life going on and you are an adult.

This seems like quite a one-way relationship, where you think about what she "owes" you, but not about what you "owe" her. Perhaps I've got the wrong impression from your post, but you seem to be quite needy and you don't mention what you do to help support your sister.

Maybe it's time to start cultivating friendships with other people and a balance of give-and-take when it comes to emotional support.

Yes you have. lower your expectations and stop thinking that your sister will act the way you want her her too.

I'm with the 92% of people who have voted.

What do you think 'blocking her' is going to achieve, other than removing one more person from your support network ?
It is a complete over reaction and really sounds very childish.

I am sorry you have lost your dog. However, as so many people have said, you sister did respond to your text, and there's not much else for her to do.
If she is a teacher, she is likely working 60 hours a week just on her paid employment, then, as a parent to 4 dc, she is likely incredibly busy supporting them too. It is not her responsibility to parent you too.

Where is your partner in all this ? Your friends ? Your own community ?