I’m part of a 6 women friendship group. The group has quite a strong identity, we always meet for each other’s birthdays and we go away for a weekend together every year. One of the group is having a glamping/camping party for her 50th. It has become apparent that while I’m only invited for the Saturday night, the rest of the friendship group is invited for Friday and Saturday nights. I get that she and I aren’t as close as some of the relationships in the group. She sent me a text saying do I mind just coming on Saturday as she’s trying to keep numbers low for Friday. AIBU to feel quite hurt? Saturday night is the main party night with more people coming so perhaps I should just feel happy with that, and ordinarily I would if it wasn’t for the friend group context re. the Friday night, which just feels a bit “ouch”.

I'm going to an 80s party later this year. It's for a 50th birthday (though I'm not 50) and they've booked Woo Gary Davies as the DJ. I have no clue what to wear as I wasn't alive in the 80s.

I don't want a fancy dress type outfit.

I saw this in Marks and Spencer when I went for a sandwich today and thought it might be alright as a New Romantic type outfit but I don't know what I'd wear it with:
https://www.marksandspencer.com/lyocell-rich-v-neck-ruffle-detail-blouse/p/clp61229706#intid=pid_pg1pip48g4r3c1%7Cprodflag_Just%20Arrived

Other ideas I'd thought of were a Choose Life T shirt with jeans and a leather jacket. Or some type of rara skirt/dress. I have no 80s shoes or anything though.

Any thoughts please? Thank you.

During security screening, approximately 25 ounces of my frozen expressed breast milk was confiscated and discarded. I was told that because it was frozen, it could not be tested and therefore could not be taken through security.

I explained several times that this milk was for my 8-month-old daughter, who is unable to latch and is exclusively fed expressed breast milk. This was not simply a drink or an inconvenience, it was my daughter's only prepared source of nutrition for our journey. Despite explaining this, I was told there was nothing that could be done, and I had to stand there and watch as the milk was thrown away.

I cannot put into words how upsetting this was. Expressing 25 ounces of breast milk takes an enormous amount of time, dedication and physical effort. It means pumping throughout the day and night, carefully storing every bottle and planning ahead. Every ounce represents hours of work. To have it thrown away in front of me, after explaining exactly how important it was, was absolutely heartbreaking.

What made the situation even worse was the attitude of the officers involved. Throughout the interaction, I felt they showed very little empathy or understanding of how serious this was. I was clearly distressed and repeatedly explained that they were taking away my baby's only food for our journey. Rather than trying to help, showing compassion or explaining whether there were any alternative screening options, my concerns were simply dismissed.

After my daughter's food had been thrown away, I was handed a customer feedback card and sent on my way. It genuinely felt as though nobody cared that an 8-month-old baby had just lost the only food I had prepared for her. The complete lack of compassion shown towards me as a mother was deeply upsetting and made an already distressing situation even worse.

Instead of looking forward to our holiday, I boarded an international flight feeling anxious and devastated, worrying about how I was going to feed my daughter while we were away. No parent should ever be put in that position.

Before travelling, I checked the guidance available to passengers. Ryanair's website clearly states that parents travelling with an infant can bring as much baby milk as needed for the flight, provided it is presented for inspection. I relied on this information when preparing for our journey. At no point was I made aware that frozen expressed breast milk could be refused because it could not be tested, and I was given no alternative option when I reached security.

I do not know the names of the officers involved, but im sure they can be identified through CCTV footage and staff rosters for the security checkpoint.
I want Manchester Airport to provide a full explanation of why my daughter's expressed breast milk was confiscated.
The specific policy or security procedure that required it to be discarded.
An explanation of why no alternative screening method. The time and physical effort it took to express and store it, and the significant distress, anxiety and disruption this caused to both me and my family.im supposed to enjoy my holiday and now im stressed in morroco about how I will feed her. She doesnt latch and only has expressed milk. Besides complaining to the Airport what else can I do so no other family goes through this.

I’ve worked in office jobs for about 25 years, and I’ve always wondered: do people in self-directed, knowledge-based roles actually spend 37-40 hours a week actively working?

I almost never have, the only exceptions have been during major pitches. However, I’ve consistently received strong reviews and positive feedback. I was promoted last year.

In my current, fairly senior role, I’m regularly praised for both the quality and speed of my work and I definitely don’t avoid taking on extra work or projects. Maybe I’ve just been unusually lucky with manageable workloads, but after this many years that seems unlikely.

I’m not off doing anything exciting—I’m available and responsive—but there are decent stretches when I just don’t have much to do.

Everyone else around me constantly complains they’re drowning, overworked etc.

Am I the weird one, or is everyone else stretching the truth about how busy they are in these type of senior roles?

I’m talking about being English, spent alot of time on the cesspit that is Reddit this World Cup and the vast majority absolutely hate England, I known it stems from the British empire but as far as I’m aware it wasn’t just England who were bad back then was it ? I mean Spain and Portugal took a big part in colonialism too but why is it just the English that gets the hate ?
Last night I would’ve been genuinely happy to support Norway if they went through, I can’t imagine hating another nation so badly. Maybe I shouldn’t take it personally 😆

Aibu ? Do we deserve the hate we get from something that happened hundreds of years ago ? For what it’s worth the British empire were ruthless and I don’t celebrate anything they did, but I also don’t think we should be punished still for something that happened so so long ago.

Am I being unreasonable. My husband and I, with our four year old are on holiday. Arrived late last night. My husband watched the England match which was midnight our time and finished at 3.30am. No problem with that at all. However, he then stayed up to watch the later match, came to bed at 6.45am and is still in bed at 12.40pm! I’m so cross. This is meant to be our family holiday. We are coming back from a week where he left, and are both meant to be making an effort, and he does this on our first day.

Am I being unreasonable and should expect him to make an effort to be up and with me and our son on the first day of our holiday.

Advise for trainers please. What are the trainers that are in fashion for a 50 year old me? Would like some to go with floaty dresses etc well just about anything really Thank you

I have always been a nervous flier and nervous traveller in general. It makes me very stressed and I tend to not relax until I’ve landed.

I usually fly BA since they’ve introduced WiFi because I can then connect to it and text my dad, who is the only one who’s able to explain things in a way that calms me down. He doesn’t mind it.

This summer I’m flying with Ryanair and the recent news about the window shattering has genuinely made me so anxious I feel sick. I don’t fly for another eight weeks but I can already feel panic building whenever I think of it.

I know this is commonplace in America but does this type of thing ever happen in the UK? Would I need to see a private GP?

The ongoing saga of Sussex PR

Hi all,
I am definitely overthinking things but we go on our first flight to Spain in a few weeks. I have an autistic husband and older child (both with scoliosis) and an 8 year old with ADHD. Due to the severity of these conditions I put in a welfare form with Tui, and we are travelling from Manchester airport.
I thought it would be nice to give little gift bags to the aircrew (my brother used to be a flight attendant) to say thank you because I know they work super hard and having to deal with my family will be a lot. I was thinking maybe hand cream, foot cream or lip balms? Any other ideas welcome!

My 20 year old daughter is home from uni. The first 2 weeks were ok because basically she was on holiday with friends. We are due to go away tomorrow but have just had an almighty row.

The way she talks to me is awful and is really upsetting especially as I give her money for uni every month, gave her cash for her holiday & basically try and do the best I can. As a family we suffer because we give her money & have nothing left.

My DH gives her money every month too which means we can’t afford to do stuff around the house like replace the kitchen or buy a new hoover. She said our kitchen was worse than a student house and laughed because the hoover is held together with sellotape even though I explained it’s because we have no spare cash.

The row started because she asked me a question and I replied with a bored fed up tone. She then shouted “watch your tone missy”. I told her not to speak to me like that and she said she’d speak to me how she wanted. I told her to treat me with respect she said why should she & it basically escalated from there.

Yes my tone wasn’t great but I told her I should be able to speak in whatever tone I want in my own home. She also picks me up on my facial expressions and tells me off if I look at her in the “wrong way”. Basically as long as I am never tired or depressed and speak in the “wrong” tone or look at her in the “wrong” way we get on ok.

Whenever we argue she uses the fact that I don’t have a dad to explain my “personality” says I need to go on medication, that I’m a hoarder (I’m not!) and basically rips me apart.

It’s upsetting and I don’t know how we will manage until she leaves for uni again in October. I have 2 other daughters who get upset by all the shouting and arguing.

I don’t want to have to keep taking it from her but if I don’t we argue and then get the silent treatment from her.

Her personality was like this before she went to uni so nothing is going to change.

Really don’t want to go on holiday tomorrow but I have spent money I don’t have and can’t disappoint the rest of my children by not going.

AIBU to feel like my holiday has been ruined before we’ve even gone?
My husband’s mum and her partner suggested that we all book a cottage in Wales together because they said they wanted to spend some proper time with us as a family.
We booked the cottage for me, my husband, our three children, his mum and her partner. It only sleeps seven, so it was booked for exactly the seven of us.
His mum has now invited another child to come for the whole holiday. Because the cottage only sleeps seven, her partner is now going to sleep in their camper van at night so that the child can take her place inside the cottage.
What makes this harder for me is that his mum and her partner don’t spend a huge amount of time with our three children. They already spend far more time with the child they have invited and are very close to her.
This holiday was their idea. They were the ones who said they wanted to go away with us and spend time with our family. I work full time and have very limited annual leave, so taking a week off is a big thing for me. It now feels as though I’m using that precious time on a holiday that has been completely changed from what I agreed to.
I had already made it clear that I didn’t want anyone else coming. I had also specifically spoken about our last family camping trip and how badly that went.
On that trip, several adults essentially dropped their children at the campsite and then went off to enjoy a relaxing week themselves. The children were left crammed into everybody else’s tents and camper vans, and the adults who had actually stayed at the campsite ended up looking after them all.
I had already said I did not want to be put in that position again. I had that conversation only weeks before this happened, which is partly why I feel so ignored.
The child was asked if she wanted to come and initially said no. I thought that should have been the end of it. Instead, it was brought up again, and she eventually agreed. His mum and partner now feels guilty and wishes they didn’t invite her but it’s done now.
I even suggested that they could simply explain that they had spoken to me and, because of my health and everything that has happened recently, I really needed the holiday to be focused on spending time with my own children. They chose not to do that.
I have PoTS and reactive hypoglycaemia and struggle with dizziness, blackouts, weakness, fatigue and my heart rate shooting up when I stand.
More recently, I was taken into hospital with stroke-like symptoms, including slurred speech, numbness and weakness down one side. Thankfully, a stroke was ruled out, but I’m still experiencing weakness in my arm and leg and problems with my speech at times. I’m now waiting for neurological investigations and neuro physiotherapy.
After such a frightening and exhausting time, I genuinely needed this break. I wanted to use my limited time away from work to spend time with my husband and children, and I hoped the children would finally get some proper time with their grandparents too.
Instead, I now feel as though the focus will mainly be on the child they have invited, because she is the child they already spend the most time with. They have changed the sleeping arrangements and moved one of the original adults out of the cottage to make sure she can come.
It isn’t that I dislike the child, because I don’t, and none of this is her fault. My issue is entirely with the adults. They invited another child onto a holiday that was already full, despite knowing I didn’t want anyone else coming and despite the fact that this was supposed to be their opportunity to spend time with us and our children.
I’m also worried that I’ll end up helping to look after her. If she becomes upset, plays up, wants to go home or needs lots of attention, it will affect the entire holiday. If there are any major problems, her mum will need to come and collect her. I cannot take responsibility for another child while managing my health and looking after my own three.
I feel like I have no choice but to go, put a smile on my face and make sure my children have a lovely time. They’ve been looking forward to it and would be devastated if we cancelled. It wouldn’t be fair for them to lose their holiday because of a decision they had no part in.
But for me, it no longer feels like the holiday I agreed to use my annual leave for. I’m not looking forward to it anymore. It feels like a waste of the very limited time I get off work, and I feel resentful, anxious and hurt that the one boundary I clearly set was ignored.
I’ve decided that after this I won’t agree to any more family holidays, camping trips or similar gatherings, because I don’t trust that the same thing wouldn’t happen again.
AIBU to feel this was unfair, particularly when the holiday was their idea because they claimed they wanted to spend time with us and our children?

And I’m honestly mortified. I had such high hopes for when he started. I knew we had some areas to work on like fine motor but broadly thought he’d be fine as a child who’s been read to extensively and taken out and exposed to language and culture.

I was very wrong. He’d behind on his reading. Lots of social struggles; he and one other boy are undoubtedly the problem children in reception (of course they don’t use that term) wind one another up, are generally awful to one another but won’t leave one another alone. I’ve just had yet another awful class party where I’ve been embarrassed by him (before anyone has a go, I did manage to get him back under control by telling him we’d go if he didn’t knock it off and I meant it but then right at the very end indulged in some stupid behaviour again,) Fine motor skills have barely developed: his handwriting is dreadful, can’t even write his name, gets Ss and Z the wrong way round and b and d.

I hate feeling so down about it and in all honesty embarrassed but I am. I am surrounded by proud friends made up with reports and I’m just so upset.

Hi,
I know I've left it late, but has anyone got any good, reasonably priced, ideas for teacher end of year gifts please?

I've bought bits in the past, but they turn up and always look a bit cheap. I've looking for something that looks great, but doesn't cost the earth.

Thanks

When DD was a baby she was given this doll. It is a Russ Berrie ‘Ariel’ doll. It was is yellow, and has a rabbit on its chest. It rattles.
She loves it so much. I would love to get her another but can’t find one anywhere.
(I have found others in the range, there’s an Annabelle for example, but I have learnt from bitter experience that it is Not The Same!)
TIA

A follow on from my previous 3 threads; “my husband said he wanted to split up and I’ve been totally blindsided”.

Anyone else waiting for this? I am, let’s start a thread to see how we all get on. I have two stone to lose. My DH said yesterday that ‘I am a bit plump’. Upset, though it’s true.

Me and a pal were out at a pub last night and she was being chatted up and getting on very well with a man. She only got as far as getting his first name and the sort of job he does though. He doesn't do Facebook etc.
As he's asked her to go to the pub again next week we tried to do some digging. It's always good to know who you're talking to. Employers do it so us ladies should do it imo. Found one of his friends on Facebook because he'd "liked" a post the pub had put. This friend keeps nothing private. We delved back a good while and found photos of chat up man with his wife and family in group photos. His friend had put chat up man's surname in another photo too.
A quick Google led us to chat up man's Linkedin, showing his current employer.
Chat up man obviously thinks he's safe and untraceable; but due to a slip up by his friend we found him in ten minutes.
At least she's found out he's taken and so won't waste her time. It's a good job she's not a bunny boiler too, who could easily turn up at his place of work to stalk him.
It just goes to show that there are still dumb people out there who do not think about privacy settings on social media.

I don't know what to do for the best as whatever I do frrls wrong
It's been a nightmare few years (probably 4) with DS and I thought we were through the other side but now I don't know

It's too long to list but something changed and he didn't care about his behaviour or school, he wasn't ever academic and was much better at practical type lessons but he was well behaved up until then but he seemed to enjoy being the class cleon and no matter what punishment he got he didn't care and in fact found it funny. He was also fixated on girls and I spoke to him multiple times about how he was treating them but that didn't go in either

When he was 16 announced he had a gf and she was pregnant but was cagy and defensive about other details and told me to stop questioning him. In the end it turned out he was lying and on a dating app and his gf was 22, she apparently knew his real age and didn't mind which I didn't believe but it later turned our that it was true.

She already had a child and ds seemed to have taken on the father role for both children. I know people will judge me especially because of the age gap but I didn't know what to do and if I went all in with anger and disapproval it would have just pushed him away when we didn't have the best relationship as it was. He’d just turned 16 and I found out about 2 months before she gave birth and he would have been 15 when baby was conceived and I did call his school and tried to speak to safeguarding as he was under the age of consent but nothing really was done and he ended up failing his gcses

He spent a year doing nothing pretty much apart from the bare minimum at college but his attendance was atrocious, he gave up rugby and he spent most of his time with her and if not in his room

Then last year he got an apprenticeship in carpentry and he seemed to enjoy it and I thought great, I bought him decent boots, gave him lifts on the odd few occasions he needed me to if the buses were unreliable due to the weather or something, lend him money if he was short until payday etc. And it was going great but he ended up losing it a few weeks ago die to health and safety, there wasn't a huge incident it was a bunch of things and his bosses were probably more patient than some would've been but he threw it back into their faces

He’d been spoken to multiple times about not having the right gear, taking shortcuts, climbing where he shouldn't, stupid little things that he shouldve known better for. According to him everyone else did it but whether they did or not is here nor there as they kept warning him until they'd had enough. He's convinced they just wanted rid of him and are using this as an excuse

Since then, he says he's applied for a few jobs but then circles back and says there's no jobs anyway. He's back to spending most his time in his room or with his gf even during weekdays when the children are at school or nursery as his gf doesn't work dur to a health condition. I've always been polite to her for my grandchild's sake but I don't agree with the choices they make

He still lives here officially and came home yesterday and asked me to lend him money, apparently £1,200 for his gf as she needs it for bills and there's some issue with child maintenance for the older child's dad, he kept saying it was only temporary and he/she would pay me back, I said no and he's turned it on me saying I don't care and he's weaponsing contact with the grandchildren now

The thing is, I could potentially do it but i’d be stretched but the reason I said no was because in a few weeks he's booked to go to Italy with her and the children, he booked it using his government trust fund he got at 18, which I told him to be careful with but no he knows best and booked a holiday

I mentioned it yesterday and he said it's different as it's already been booked and the children are excited and I can't tell him to upset a 5 and 2 year old by csncelling and they'd lose some money anyway. They've never been abroad and want to make memories etc (which they could do here and go next year or when they have more money)

I'm not made of money but I'm careful because I have to be and I do have money put away for emergencies like car repairs or things like that. He's barely spoken to me and apparently I'm unsupportive. I've mentioned jobs again and he said he'll look properly after their holiday but repeated there's no jobs anywhere

If he'd actually been looking and cancelled id maybe I wouldn't have hesitated but he isn't helping himself or anyone But he's accused of me making the children suffer but I don't see how I am

AIBU for refusing?

Hi all,

Need some advice please.

I have a cousin who I am extremely close to. Neither of us have a sister so we have always been close and generally share everything with each other. We see each other once or twice a week and our kids are also very close. Ive know her all my life and we are both in our 40s.

My cousin has had a lot going on in her life- marriage problems, financial problems etc and i have always helped her and been there for her. She relies on me more emotionally than I do on her.

A few months ago she started talking to me about a trip that shes been wanting to go on her whole life. Ive been on this trip twice before and so she asked me lots of questions and I gave her advice. She was planning to go with her mum and its the first holiday either of them have been on in 10 years. I was so happy that she was finally planning to go somewhere.

Anyway over the last month or so ive noticed that shes not been messaging me or popping over as much and whenever I try to arrange to see her she has been making excuses. Ive asked her if everything's ok and she says yes.

Last Wednesday I saw her at an event in school where we did sit together and talked to each other like normal but I still felt like she was hiding something from me. Later on in the day I saw her mum who told me that they had booked the trip a few weeks ago and they were so excited.

I felt hurt that my friend still hasn't told me about the trip and I feel like she is trying to hide it from me. I feel a bit used because she always comes to me with her problems but didnt tell me her good news. For context I generally travel more than her and she is usually always the first to know if I am going somewhere.

AiBU to be hurt about this? Should I say something or leave it. I feel like she is avoiding me so that she doesn't have to tell me her good news and that doesn't feel nice at all.

So.. currently waiting to board my flight and me and my husband have had a disagreement. Seats are already allocated but I still like to queue and get on the flight once the gates open. He likes to sit and wait until the last minute, looking down his nose at all the silly little people queuing. AIBU to start to queue once the gates open?

In the grips of an unprecedentedly hot summer, schools closing, fridges breaking down in many supermarkets, impending drought. How come there is not more popular protest as we experience properly for the first time what the future will hold? It is a problem for global leaders and governments, however I’m surprised that Extinction Rebellion, Insulate Britain, or a similar grassroots radical protest organisation isn’t harnessing the momentum. It doesn’t seem such an abstract issue right now.

I’d be so grateful 🙏

Here are the musts:

flying from Edinburgh
a beachy holiday
all-inclusive, half or full board
a decent TripAdvisor rating
flying after 19th July (could actually be on the 19th, if an afternoon or evening flight) but I MUST be back by the 30th at latest
one week, though I could do 5 or 6 days if it wasn’t too far

Please don’t think I am being lazy! I’ve spent hours of my time looking into holidays. But I can’t get much cheaper than the £700 mark, and I thought someone might know of a hidden gem/bargain.

Thanks a million.

I'm looking for some new bras.

I prefer balconette or full cup and I like my boobs to end up all at the front rather than wide apart and heading towards my armpits which seems to be what m & s are designed for now.

Using BOB method I'm 30f or g.
I've been looking at Simone Perele website and it seems like they use the old method and with a 30 inch under band I'd be a 34?

Does anyone have any bras from this brand and can give me insight into sizes?

Or if anyone has same/ similar size to me and likes the same fit I'd love some recommendations!

AIBU to be pissed, even though I know it’s technically allowed?

I live where I always have, with our child. I have never moved.

Ex lives a significant distance away now, his choice.

Has had sporadic involvement with our child since birth, now we have a court order that he has every other weekend.

Within days if the court order, he’s applied to CMS to vary the payment for “special expenses”… he’s claiming £70 a week in travel costs.

I do get a decent maintenance payment compared to many people, but a loss of over £300 a month is going to be very difficult. I work full time but my job isn’t well paid, and do all the day to day care of our child, pay for nursery etc.

Ex was financial controlling and harassed me over CMS for years, this all came out in court and was noted by the judge.

For what it’s worth, my ex is in a well paid job, has a house worth 7 figures, drives a large car worth 6 figures, has investment properties etc. he isn’t hard up.

I know there’s nothing I can do about it but AIBU to feel the system is really unfair on resident parents.