Had a meeting with DS’s new social worker today and she mentioned how she might have to take his respite away. This is due to the fact that I share custody with his Dad, he is with his Dad for two nights per week and it’s now seen as unnecessary.

DS has significant needs, is getting older, bigger and much harder to manage on my own. It is now a concern that they are talking about taking away the small amount of support he has. (2 nights a month) I have been struggling looking after him on my own and have at points reached breaking point with the stress and he has physically hurt me too.

He also goes on day trips and loves his sleep overs with similar children to himself.

AIBU that just because he stays with his Dad for 2 nights a week this shouldn’t mean his respite is taken away? I’m in work when he’s with his Dad.

Thanks ☺️

I have three children aged 7, 5 and 2. My husband’s sister has one child, aged 2. She’s a single mum by choice.

My SIL has quite strong parenting preferences. She’s very anti-plastic toys and prefers everything to be wooden and pastel-coloured. She’s also very anti-screens and doesn’t allow sweets. That’s absolutely her choice, and I’m not criticising how she chooses to raise her child. My children, however, are fairly typical kids. We have brightly coloured plastic toys, toy swords, all sorts of things, and I don’t have a strict no-screen policy. I’m not saying they’ll be glued to an iPad all Christmas, but equally I’m not going to promise that they won’t have any screen time at all. I certainly won’t stop my children having chocolate or a mince pie on Christmas Day (especially the two eldest).

We’re all spending Christmas Day at my in-laws’ house, and SIL has messaged me saying that she appreciates we all have different parenting styles, but she’d prefer it if we didn’t bring any plastic toys, particularly around her toddler, and asked if we could have no screens for the duration of our stay to avoid a situation where her child might join in and watch something, and no sweet treats within sight of her child. I honestly don’t know how to respond. I have no intention of deliberately putting things in front of her child that she doesn’t want him playing with, I’m happy to respect her rules for the gifts to her child and I’m happy to be sensible and considerate. But I don’t think it’s reasonable to expect me to restrict what my own children can bring or play with or eat because she has decided that certain toys and activities aren’t acceptable for hers.

I feel like everyone in the family tends to bend over backwards to accommodate SIL’s preferences (because she’s had a traumatic few years in terms of love life and decided to have a baby solo), and I’m starting to resent the expectation that the rest of us should just go along with everything to avoid upsetting her. Would it be unreasonable to reply along the lines of “I completely respect that you have different rules for your child, I will of course respect your wishes for Freddie’s gifts (ie not gifting Freddie a brightly coloured plastic toy, an iPad, a chocolate Santa) but I can’t promise to follow those same rules with mine. I’ll obviously be considerate, but I need to parent my own children in the way that works for us.”

Or am I being unnecessarily difficult? It’s Christmas, and I don’t want to create family tension, but I also don’t want to spend the whole day feeling like I’m being told how to parent my children.

Since childhood I've had rewlr hard skin on two parts of my feet ( see pic ) . I've tried EVERYTHING. Chiropodist was fine but no better than pedicure . I can't seem to find anything else. . Now 48 and sick of it !

Hi all. Here's our new thread. Giving Rainbow a break and until Reastie returns. Sorry there wasn't a more inspiring title, didn't spot any comedy typos this time.

This is intended as a friendly, kind, safe, warm and fuzzy place for people to share discounts, bargains and Christmas gift ideas both online and IRL. Please note the tone and intention of the thread and join with spirit as generous as DC helping themselves to the Christmas chocolate celebrations

Here’s some useful information about how to save the thread or a specific post so you don’t need to have a message to check in for every thread so you have the thread saved:

To watch the thread - click on the little bell that has ‘watch’ under my first message. This adds the whole thread to your ‘watched threads’

You can also bookmark a specific post by clicking on the ‘bookmark’ under the specific post. This saves your exact place in a thread but doesn’t alert you to new replies.

If you have any referral links or codes, please share them on the referral thread here:

www.mumsnet.com/talk/christmas/5444936-bargain-referrals-thread-8

A reminder that we don't use affiliated links on here please

🎄 Emoji to copy if required for posting bargains as some agree this makes deals easier to spot. (or post in bold)

I’m due to attend a work training event next month. It’s a two hour drive from the office.
I have access to a work pool car, so have requested to use it for the journey. My boss is happy for me to do so, but asked me to see if the others attending want to come with me to
maximise the cost benefit.
I don’t know the others well at all, one I haven’t met. The thought of four hours in the car making small talk fills me with dread.
Possibly this is magnified by my ADHD and how exhausting it can be to be constantly trying to find the right things to say etc.

so, AIBU to not want to share the drive?

My family (mum and her partner, my sister and half sister and their families) are due to visit and stay with us for a few days over Xmas. We live about 150 miles from them so we alternate spending Christmas in the two places, although we always go out for Christmas dinner. My half sister doesn’t always join us but does sometimes and is this year.

We all agreed on the restaurant for Christmas Day a few months ago and I booked it. My half sister is now saying she can’t afford it and wants us to host Xmas dinner at home. We really don’t want to do that as we look forward to going out for it, not cooking and just relaxing.

I’ve suggested that she comes before or after Xmas for a day or two instead but she thinks that’s unfair and doesn’t see why we can’t just cook dinner at home. My mum is siding with her and it’s causing friction. Are we being unreasonable to not want to change our plans and not want to have to cook dinner ourselves when we were looking forward to going out?

Assuming the school does this? Does your son or daughter go? Just interested. What’s it like?

I’m currently going through another miscarriage and I’m feeling really let down by the care I’ve received at my local hospital on Tuesday i attended A&E in severe pain, which I would describe as 9/10. I was told the waiting time would be around five hours, but ended up being there for six and a half hours, most of that time sitting in the waiting room in agony.
I was in so much pain that I genuinely didn’t want to go home without getting some help. I was eventually offered morphine after waiting around two hours. When that hadn’t worked, I was then given paracetamol, despite having already started taking paracetamol at home alongside co-codamol.
Around four hours after receiving the morphine, I was still in unbearable pain and asked for more pain relief. What followed was honestly awful. I was passed from pillar to post, having to repeatedly beg for more medication. I was crying in agony and felt like I was getting absolutely no help. Eventually, after lots of asking, I was given another dose of morphine.
After my final dose of morphine and six and a half hours at the hospital, I asked again how much longer I would be waiting to see a doctor, as I’d originally been told five hours. The response I got was that there were still loads of people ahead of me.
At this point, I said I was going to go home for four hours, as I’d just had some pain relief, and try to get some sleep before it wore off. The doctor insisted that I stay, but I explained that I couldn’t continue sitting there in so much pain when I felt I wasn’t getting the help I needed. I said I would try to get some sleep at home and come back once the pain relief had worn off.
There was also very little communication throughout my attendance. Whenever I was told something was going to happen, whether that was a blood test, pain relief or seeing a doctor, I wasn’t kept updated. I constantly had to chase staff to find out what was happening.
What makes this particularly upsetting is that I’ve had two previous miscarriages, and on both occasions the hospital was absolutely brilliant. I was seen by the gynaecology team, treated with compassion and offered appropriate pain relief when I needed it.
This time, however, I was seen by a general doctor rather than gynaecology, and the whole experience was completely different. I don’t understand why the care was so different, especially given my history and the amount of pain I was experiencing.
On top of the physical pain, I’m dealing with the emotional heartbreak of another miscarriage. Sitting in a busy waiting room, crying in agony and trying to cope with losing another pregnancy, was honestly horrendous. I felt incredibly vulnerable and unsupported.
Unfortunately, after eventually getting home and managing to get some sleep, I woke up in agony again, feeling sick and nauseous. I’ve now found myself putting off going back to A&E because I simply cannot face another seven-hour wait and having to beg for pain relief all over again.
I understand the NHS is under pressure, and I’m not expecting to jump the queue, but surely women going through a miscarriage should be treated with compassion, kept informed and given appropriate pain relief?
Has anyone else experienced such a difference in miscarriage care depending on who they’ve been seen by? Am I unreasonable to expect to be seen by gynaecology rather than just a general doctor?
I’m genuinely considering making a formal complaint because I don’t think women should have to go through this.
I’ve taken myself down stairs tonight to cry in agony I feel like I’m in labour and want to scream but I can’t bring myself to seek help as atleast I have my hot water bottle and a bed to wither in

I know there has been so many threads on here about work and childcare etc. And it will depend on area you live in, but what are people doing in the school holidays, aside from when you take your annual leave, to cover the rest. Yes as someone said on another post the holidays have always been the same.
But in the past we were not all at after school club and holiday camps.

We do not have a lot of options here, and availability goes fast.

It also ends up being dribs and drabs of days here and there that I hear others booking.

Also some are further walks away, I can not be on my feet for long periods of time. So then it would mean taking a bus. It is hard and tiring when it is one person doing it all, as I know many might chip in and say plenty doing the same, but we are all different, and our capabilities.

My DB and SIL are great sharers of information, and so if you don’t share they just assume everything is easy or alright for you. So the whole family heard about their fertility struggles - absolutely fine to share, but when I announced my pregnancy I was told I was lucky I had it so easy- even though they had no idea.

Now some might disagree but I say breastfeeding is tough. It needs a bit of determination, in the early days I was sore and tired but as it is baby is 6 months and still EBF. I am proud of this but never told anyone how hard I found it.

My SIL has just given birth to her second and after not BF her first really wants this one to be EBF, I had a call from my DB last night saying she is very tired and can I pump a couple of bottles for them… as if I can just produce a couple of bottles on cue!!!

I don’t even have a pump- he said they could Amazon me one.

Am I being unreasonable to say no? My parents and brother are saying I would find it easy and she is struggling and don’t I want what is best for the baby.

Im only just starting to feel I am on the downward slope with feeding after months or gritting my teeth and getting on with it.

I do not know any women who have not had something bad or intimidating happen to them in their lifetime. Whether that be cat calling, followed, talked down to, pushed out of spaces, pushed over for promotion, assaulted, stalked, raped or murdered.

I do not know any women who have not changed their behaviour to try and keep themselves safe. It might be walking with keys between their fingers, getting a taxi when they'd rather walk, covering their drink when they are at a bar, not responding when a guy intimidates/heckles at them because it's safer, run or jog in groups, don't wear headphones walking late a night.........

AIBU to say that it's not a tiny minority of men is it?

Welcome back everyone. New thread just in time for Black Friday.

How is everyone's self restraint looking? 😂😂😂

Fingers crossed for some good bargains this year especially all those advents that haven't sold out. We've probably bought some of those already but let's ignore that.

Happy bargain hunting. 😍

Mine is I buy a boned, rolled and stuffed turkey. The white and dark mean is in separate rolls and it takes an hour to cook. Fits in the oven easily with room for all the other stuff. Anyone else got top tips to make life easier?

My children 11 & 13 have given me their Christmas lists which consist of 3D printer £300, laptop £400 and daughter wants a Lego set that’s £260 and a phone upgrade…when did life get so expensive! What’s everyone else’s children asking for / getting realistically?

I’ve realised I like lots of little things to open rather than one big thing. What little things (from £5 to £30) are on your own Christmas wish list?

https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2026/nov/11/the-world-we-know-is-over-marshall-islands-president-cop31

Pretty depressing read

Would really appreciate some help.

My upstairs neighbour caused a leak into my flat. he fixed it and agreed to pay for the repair after asking for a quotation. He wants my builder to invoice him directly. It's two days and the work started today. it will finish tomorrow. He has this evening announced he will not pay and wants the freeholder to go through an insurance claim. all of the correspondence has been through email.

please advise. i feel terrible that my builder has been caught up and may not be paid.

I don't think it was that bad?

Maybe with all the hype I expected it to be on the RB scale, but it isn't.

Undoubtedly a sleaze and probably several cases that could be brought for workplace harassment, but as terrible as I expected. Enough that those companies should refuse to employ him though, which they have, now it's come out.

Which I guess shows how low the bar is.

Do they exist? Just something warmish, easy, plain, reasonably flattering.

Aged 70, short, size 14.

Thanks!

(Sorry if this is a bit long winded). Background: My ex (M35) and I (F30) share a 7-year-old son who lives primarily with me and spends weekends (and 60/40 holidays) with him and his stepmother, who live 2 hours away. My ex is rather controlling (which our son’s first school has also documented) and has been actively trying to gain primary custody this year.

He requested we only communicate on a parenting app and then we went to mediation twice (and agreed to a holiday schedule and talked through any parenting concerns), but months later he called social services on me to gather evidence of bad parenting (after threatening to do so in front of our son over a disagreement). They closed the case the same day.

Anyway, our arrangement has always been that his contact time begins on Fridays at 3:20pm when school finishes (as his job was flexible), and I would collect our son from his on Sunday afternoons. However, he got a new job at the beginning of the year so said he couldn’t collect our son until 7pm.

I said in that case he must pay for Friday after-school clubs until 6pm (£60 a month) and I’d collect our son from school (an hour from my office, where I finish at 5pm), and then he collect him from my house at 7pm.

He initially disagreed but eventually conceded and has been paying the school directly all year alongside £400 in child maintenance. We had separate school accounts, as I also pay for weekday sessions while I work (and he refused to pay me directly).

Our son recently changed schools, but the new school only allows one parent to have a payment account, creating an issue with Friday sessions.

I’ve repeatedly contacted him through the app to resolve this and ask him to pay me directly (otherwise he must find his own childcare) whilst we wait to see if the school has an alternative, but he ignores me (as he does if it doesn’t benefit him). E.g ignored my enquires our son’s counselling, which he’s arranging privately (due to suspected ADHD). I’ve asked who the clinician is and for timescales, but received no response.

After warning him on the app (and getting nowhere) I emailed him confirming I would no longer book, or collect our son from Friday club unless he continued funding it and that I have informed the school that they should contact him regarding collection on those days and will reconfirm it to them in writing.

Only then did he respond on the app saying he is planning to collect our son for the next 2 Fridays and that he doesn’t see why he should pay for it anyway when he already pays child maintenance.

I don’t think I should automatically pay for childcare during his contact time, particularly due to our established arrangement. He earns £100k a year (3x more than me) and I cannot afford this extra expense to accommodate him and I run a strict budget due to my living costs.

Am I being unreasonable for putting my foot down? The school have said they will contact him for any issues on Fridays but I don’t want to call his bluff and possibly leave my son stranded/force the school to call me after the next 2 weeks either.

My sister lives local so she can collect my son in an emergency when I am in the office (if by then we still haven’t come to an agreement however).

Morning all. I need some adventurous trousers but cant decide what. Im bored with jeans.
There is a staff outing in December and Id like to wear them then.
I dont like ankle flappers and they dont suit me so Im looking for full length maybe with an interesting pattern for a change. Check? Tartan? Whats "in" in trousers?

Please help me get some perspective on this situation.
i have a relative in hospital long term due to a spinal injury. They are unable to mobilise themselves without the use of a hoist so all care involves two members of staff helping. They can go to the toilet by being hoisted onto a shower chair which then is pushed over the toilet.
that is staff and health dependent. If they are bed bound due to either of the reasons, they go to the toilet in bed. I naively thought this meant a bedpan.
i have found out today that this is not the case. They are lay on a sheet (i assume an incontinence pad type) and left to open their bowels on there. They then need to wait for a free member of staff to come and clean them up, by which time I’m guessing all the skin is covered in poo.
my relative is really suffering with poor skin on the bottom. Surely the toilet situation makes this worse ? It is not pressure sores.
I am truly flabbergasted at how patients are expected to open their bowels without the use of a bedpan. It’s so unnatural and surely doubles the nursing staff workload in how long cleaning each patient takes. The unit is always short staffed so they can be times where they are lying in their own faeces for a significant amount of time.
this is a regional spinal unit where I would expect high quality nursing care to set standards for other places.
Medical professionals please can you give me your opinions ? I’m happy to be proved wrong as I don’t know much about this and am basing my thoughts on gut feelings. Thank you

I just put a post on another thread saying that I have downloaded one of Lucy Beaumont’s books on Audible as a thank you to her. It’s a very small gesture I know but if anyone else wanted to join in we could make it something special.

Hi all - can I ask those of you who own a long burner/multi fuel stove about maintenance…

I bought a house with a multi fuel stove around 5 years ago & used it as a wood burner a bit the first year or so (ie I lit maybe 20 fires, just wood, but stopped bothering as it doesn’t actually generate much heat)

I know it can burn smokeless coal as well (some was left by previous owners, & they were burning this when I came to view, it was HOT, much more so than wood)

With the current ‘be prepared’ it seems that buying some wood/smokeless coal is a good idea

Previous owners had the chimney swept before they left - do I need to get it done before using the chimney again? (I’d only use it if we have a power cut, & don’t want to spend if I don’t need to).

Thanks so much for:)

I am attending a wedding in December. I've decided I want a mini dress as my legs are my favourite asset. For context, Im early 30s, short, size 14 and suit strong colours or black over paler colours. Anything Ive seen is a bit too informal. Has anyone seen any that would be suitable? TIA