Hi just registered to get some insight tbh..

so I have been with my wife for 11 years married for 2 we both had children when we met and we all live together and have done for 9 years or so..I would like to know if I’m being unreasonable so here it goes..

having 4 children in the house is always hard work and being a STEP PARENT for both me and my wife can be challenging but we get through it..however this is causing massive rows..so we have rules in general,usually the kids go up stairs at 8.30pm and do whatever play games watch tv chill I’m not too fussed as long as they are quiet enough and then I say own rooms like 9.30pm.. I also set rules like if you want a cup of tea or anything it’s before 8.30pm. Obvs there’s times when it’s different due to circumstances..and here’s the issue..I believe our oldest is doing things on purpose to make me and my wife argue..she will come down at like 9pm and stuff and ask for a tea and say she forgot the time or do something that’s will trigger a debate with me and my wife..if this does cause a stir she will then do something else out side of this time frame and for me it’s because she knows we will row…I have tried to speak to my wife about this and stated she has all day to do these things and we all know the time frames we are living by and it seems that she’s doing it knowing we will row..and I just get called an idiot..she just went and ran a bath the other day and gone 9pm and I got annoyed me and my wife debated and I said now she sees we argued just see the upcoming days she will do things.. and today she came asking for a sandwich at like 9pm.my wife moans at me saying you don’t choose when your hungry she’s growing and maybe she just wants a bath..and I don’t disagree but it feels like she does these things on purpose knowing the rules and knowing we will disagree and my point is the others should just come down for things when they feel like it too then but apparently that’s not the case..just to clarify my kids are well loved and looked after and fed I just believe rules should be in place to keep a form or order and it seems she does it on purpose she’s 14 years old..
They also come and ask for something to eat throughout the days and I make judgment if they can have it depending on dinner time or whatever
im also told in a debate today other people’s kids don’t even have to ask for something to eat..but then they would raid the place and there be nothing left…So am I unreasonable for being annoyed by this should it be ok ..am I being too harsh..and should they just get what they want when they are hungry.

also am I unreasonable for thinking it’s done on purpose.

I don’t want to fight with my wife or kids I love them all 😊

A local pub put its new menu out today and the food looks really good. The menu though is littered with spelling mistake after mistake and grammar and punctuation errors. It looks really rubbish considering they've put a lot of effort into doing the place up and this new menu, so it's a shame that it looks rather unprofessional. So I've messaged them and suggested they check it over and correct it.

Is there anyone old enough to remember the 60s, 70s and 80s and was terrible spelling - not necessarily in general, but on menus, shop signs and banners etc - so prevalent then, or shall we blame social media?

A friend is getting married in NYC later this year. The dress code is black tie. The venue has not been disclosed and will not be disclosed until the day of the event to avoid media attention as they are within the celebrity sphere (I know them through family and am very much not from this world)
Any advice on something suitably glamorous given there may be a few A listers present and I don’t want to look out of place? I’m 5’7, size 8-10. Budget not really an issue

The en suite sink has been very slow draining and sometimes water has been sitting in sink until following day..I’ve tried vinegar and baking soda twice a few days ago, drain snake nothing unblocked it.
So this evening about 7pm dh decided to put sink unblocker into sink but he had to remove stagnant water that had been sitting there first then he poured the unblocker into sink and its still sitting there it hasn’t moved.
I’m really stressed about toxic gas so I’ve come downstairs to try and sleep on settee not happening! dh is mad thinks I’m overreacting as I left the en suite light on for the vent and opened the bedroom window a bit.. I was scared fumes would get into our bedroom ..so I’m worried the chemical will still be sitting in sink in morning what do I do obviously we can’t get it out

What would you think if you saw this on the beach? Should I keep covering my scars? I don’t want to upset anyone. I‘ve been wearing board shorts for many years but hate the tan line.

I genuinely did not understand before how much mental energy it can take. You spend years being told to “eat healthy”, “move more”, “it’s just calories in versus calories out”, and then suddenly your body seems to change the rules without informing you. You can eat what feels like practically nothing and still gain weight from one takeaway, one dessert, one slightly normal weekend. Meanwhile people around you are saying “just be in a calorie deficit” as if you have not already reduced everything enjoyable.

It is not even vanity for many women. It is the exhausting feeling that maintaining your weight now requires permanent restriction and hypervigilance. You start mentally calculating every handful of nuts, every spoon of oil, every piece of bread, because the margin for error feels tiny.

What makes it worse is how invisible it is. Menopause is discussed in terms of hot flushes and periods stopping, but less about the sheer frustration of feeling your metabolism and body composition shift while being expected to behave as though nothing has changed.

Yes I exercise and I do weight training as well.

I know weight gain is not the worst thing in the world, but the constant mental negotiation around food can become draining. Sometimes it feels like menopause means your body now demands lifelong restraint just to stay the same size.

I know it is not like this for ALL women.

If you had to provide snacks in a rented home for 4 days for 30 people and wanted them to be really inexpensive what would you choose?

Context: family rental for 4 days in October the cost covered by the invitees.

We have been allocated snacks for 4 days as our contribution and we are trying to disguise that we have a very very small budget. Financially we are really struggling. The exact brief was a 'snack basket for each room'

There are three main meals a day, but from seeing what people are planning for these some are really light. Yogurt and fruits for breakfast and sandwiches for lunch. We are in charge of the snacks so expect people maybe hungry.

Looking for really cheap and filling snacks. We have more time than money so we can shop from multiple stores.

What sort of budget should we set aside and what would you recommend?

Hi everyone, I know this topic has been done to death but DH and I could use some advice.

Our eldest son is nearly 20. He did very well academically and socially at primary school / the first couple of years of secondary. He’s bright but definitely doesn’t like to break a sweat and as soon as school got harder he basically stopped trying. He passed all his GCSEs with reasonable grades after doing absolutely no work but then dropped out of A Levels after a year, as again, he wasn’t willing to put in any effort. He took himself off to college to do a diploma - again, same thing - his tutors said he’s academically very able, could easily get a distinction but has made zero effort. He’s just about scraped a pass.

At home he’s also pretty lazy: does the bare minimum in terms of jobs around the house, has to be nagged at constantly which we hate doing. He doesn’t really have any hobbies except for going to the gym a few times a week. He likes spending time with his brothers and is a bit of a home bird. DH and I both work in demanding roles and we have 2 other children, one of whom has significant SEND.

This all sounds very negative! He’s a really lovely boy as well: he’s kind, has great communication skills and is fantastic with his SEND brother. He’s one of the few people that I’m happy to leave him with.

He also has a PT job and a pretty responsible one at that. He does well in this as it involves f2f contact with vulnerable people. The money is pretty good but it burns a hole in his pocket and apart from what we insist he saves in an account he can’t access (he blazed through every penny of his government trust fund thing before we could stop him so we’ve learned our lesson.

He’s our eldest so this “parenting” a new adult is very new to us. We want to support him and teach him how to adult but he can be quite resistant to this. He doesn’t want to go to uni but also doesn’t know what he wants to do long term. He’s not open to career planning / support either from us or the college which has offered loads of options.

The plan currently, is that he’ll take a year out, work pretty much FT in his current job and figure himself out. He will be paying nominal rent to us and we have said he must save. He’s passed his driving test and is agreeable to the saving as he wants to buy a car.

We’re in London so I’d much rather he stayed at home and saved as renting, even in a house share is ££££££. But I’m still anxious of “failure to launch” / him just not putting any effort in when things get a bit harder.

Any words of wisdom? Am I just being a bit dramatic? He is only 19 plus I do think that covid is possibly playing a part in all this as he was the first cohort who did GCSEs as normal / usual grade boundaries despite all the disruption to education.

Sorry this is a bit long but I have used paragraphs! Thanks for reading.

I have pain below my knee, its getting worse

Physio says exercise but I barely have enough spoons to eat/live so I only can do so much

So I need a support/cushion between my knees at night - what do people use - i can't cope with the weight pressure when im on my side (either side) and on my back I need something to stop my leg going straight/flat/backwards

Im hypermobile with fibromyalgia, I cycle but load bearing exercise is tricky

What should I look at buying?

I have 4 weddings to go to this summer, so I’m looking for a dress that I can wear to all of them.
I’ve fallen in love with this one, but is it too white/cream: https://www.theoutnet.com/en-gb/shop/product/zimmermann/dresses/midi-dresses/floral-print-lace-paneled-cotton-voile-midi-dress/46376663162888639

I wouldn’t choose white or cream accessories, and for the church wedding I’d wear a sage coloured jacket with it.

It definitely isn’t bridal, but is it still too white?

I have a friend who I get on well with, after knowing her a few months she invited me around for a coffee adding “just excuse the mess”. I don’t usually care about people’s houses as I’m not house proud myself.

Anyway, it was bad, only saw hallway and living room at this point but the carpets looked like they had a full inch layer of pet hair imbedded into them, the sofas were all ripped and stained with mucky blankets thrown all over them and there was an awful smell. Funnily enough no actual rubbish or dirty pots anywhere in here though. Friend told me to sit down whilst she made coffee 😬 The sofa featured a huge Rottweiler laid right across it sleeping, I looked at dog then at friend and she said “just shove him out of the way” errr no 😂 so I joined her in the kitchen.

Well Jesus this is where it goes from bad to TV program content, there was stuff everywhere - open food, packets and wrappers all over, piles of dirty pots, dog food all over the floor (meat, not biscuits) and the smell was now eyewatering. Long story short she’d decided to use the little pantry room as a giant cat litter tray, when she opened the door the smell literally knocked me back which I’ve NEVER experienced before.

I was desperate for toilet and it was over an hours drive home so I thought I’d risk it there … you could barely get in the bathroom - the bath itself was stacked high with crap, stuff all over the floor, shit stains all over the toilet including the seat. I left it and came out the room to her stood there telling me to go and see the new curtains she had in her bedroom - well fuck me the upstairs of the house was much worse than the ground floor - there was rubbish EVERYWHERE, literal dog and cat shit on the carpets in various areas, stains all over the beds, empty coke cans and takeaway wrappers on her bed … honestly I’ve never seen anything like it.

Now, my AIBU … mutual friend has never been and we’ve been invited over this weekend. She is much more straight talking than me and is likely to tell her straight that it’s a disgrace. Do I
a) warn mutual friend before hand what to expect and to not mention it?
b) suggest to inviting friend gently that she might want to tidy up a bit before weekend - maybe offer to help but this sounds so bloody cheeky to me
or c) YABU - let nature take its course.

You would NEVER guess from meeting friend that she lives like this, she’s very well spoken and honestly I thought she was posh!

Looking for help picking a middle name for baby #2. James is a common name - but clearly a favorite of ours - so I’m conflicted between picking a middle that brings some personality or a family
honor name. Last name is Campbell. Considering the following:

James Daniel (family name, my dad)
James Rafferty
James Vincent
James Oscar
James …. any suggestions?

Thanks so much. Baby due very soon 🙌🏼

Due to new medication started 2 months ago this is how much I’ve lost. I’m not sure I look any different but my jeans are looser. I really need to get doing squats to find my arse! i’m now 8st 4lb and was 8st 8/9lb when i started the medication. It’s not weight loss medication but does affect appetite as a side effect, just incase anyone thinks I’m talking about weight loss drugs.

I'd be so glad of some style wisdom please as it's really not a strength I have!

I have this dress -

https://www.next.co.uk/style/su823888/h88417?gclsrc=aw.ds&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=23099951489&gbraid=0AAAAADm_5UXuxjQZMtZb_dOvq-fDRJS0l&gclid=CjwKCAjwn4vQBhBsEiwAq3hhN4gwnKjO5oFN7QaQb9N8HiSVRQs61maB0InhRSBYSMQjuv9PyMlxKhoCc_EQAvD_BwE

It is so nice! Really suits me, a lovely shape. However, I've no idea what to wear on my feet. I can't do heels like the model has. I'd like to look "tidy" for work (office but not super super smart) and also something more casual for holiday.

Please help!

In terms of budget, I can do up to around £60 per pair

Thank you

She's brilliant, I've always thought so but she is getting better all the time. Doing this really suits her.

Full speech from yesterday:

https://x.com/i/status/2054588111317811649

I've seen lots of positive comments online and I agree with them. She said what needed to be said (although I do disagree with her on the trail hunting issue), and the govt really had no comeback.

She also looks fantastic and I bet she's great fun at parties 🥳

I only wish her time had come a bit sooner, when the Conservative party still had a chance. I think they'd have been far better under her than Boris, or any of the others.

However she's doing a great job of holding Labour to account right now.

Thank you all a million for continuing to support me, it means everything to me.

Hi all, yesterday when I picked 10 year old DS and 8 year old DD up from school, I saw a man wearing a school uniform, white makeup and red lipstick. He was loitering across the road from the school and another parent told me that he was outside the school two days ago. I'm based in Liverpool, have any other parents seen this individual? I reported him to the school and they said they are looking into it.

A couple of local charity shops near me both constantly have signs up outside on an A-Board, saying that they are not taking donations. However, both of these have very little stock inside, and are both very overpriced. For example, a worn, very bobbly Primark jumper for £7, and a Boohoo polyester dress for £12.

One in particular is just depressing to go into; I went in the other day for the first time in two months and some of the overpriced clothes that were there then were still hanging there, still for sale. The rails were also pretty empty. The board was outside as usual requesting no donations. There were 5 members of staff in the shop.

I really don't get it; surely it would be far better, and raise far more money, if they had more stock out, and priced it at lower prices for a quicker turnover. I really can't see the shop I went in yesterday raising much money at all, as there's never anything in there really to buy.

I'm sure some posters will reply saying it's a 'charity shop bashing thread', and yes, it is! I want to support charities and want to buy pre owned items but shops like this aren't exactly going to raise any money!

What age did you let your kids go out with their friends alone?
We live rurally, fairly quiet safe place. Dd wants to meet with friends for a couple of hours to hang around local village. It's about 15 minute drive from our house. All her friends meet up and I havent let her go unless its a play date type meet up. Shes 11, I know she has to start being independent so is this around the right age? We live the furthest away from village so most of the others can just walk home if there is a problem.
Does this sound reasonable for this age?

Bought some from the local shop, DS has 3 wobbly teeth and wanted soft food. Its a trek to a supermarket so popped to the nisa. Frozen spuds. How bad can they be??

What an odd texture! I used "proper" butter and ...it just seemed to disappear. The spuds are small and I added loads of butter and its like it was just absorbed! How? Where did it go? Added loads more, and still they were dry and powdery. Was I unlucky?

Im with a group of mum friends at a food court. We all go off to different kiosks. Order our food. We find an available table.

I order from a Thai cuisine, a noodle dish and some chips for the little one.

I pick up the food, put toddler in highchair, put the chips infront of her. I’m about to take my first serving of noodles and baby kicks the chips all over the floor.

The chips cost £5. One of the mums says that it’s been less than 5 mins and they didn’t touch the chips, I should be able to ask for a replacement.

So I go to the kiosk, politely explain that I was just here and the baby annoyingly dropped all the chips. I show them the picture (we are sitting on the other end of the food court).

They say no. But I plead a little bit - I do have a soft voice so I’m being nice. Then they go on and on about how every mum will be asking for freebies. I should pay for another one. And I should go to another one of their stores who would provide me free chips.

Turns out she was also the manager.

I worked in waitressing many years ago, and honestly, we would have just given a portion of chips. Id be hesitant if it was the whole meal - but a couple of chips for a baby?

Was I being unreasonable?

Had a foot op and now all my heels have been relegated to storage until DD is old enough to use them. Sob 😭
However my foot can't even do ballet pumps now and summer is fast approaching. My lovely supportive boots need to be replaced by sandals. And although I can see some stiff soled Pavers it slightly makes me cry to wear them.
I can't face the summer without some stylish, comfortable multi use stiff soled, cushioned sandals and/or pumps to wear with dresses. Please help. I'm feeling like I'm being a bit shallow with this, but if the shoes aren't comfortable I have to stop walking about 15 mins in.

My husband is a great man, good husband, good around the house, great with the kids etc. He is very close to his siblings and parents which I honestly think is fab.

I get on fine with my family but we are not close. We grew up in a very private family where nobody could know our business and I was always stressed out trying to make sure that I didn't accidentally let something slip. My.mum was constantly telling me 'dont tell such-and-such this' and "if anybody asks, tell them xyz".

I never, ever ask my kids to keep secrets but at the start of our relationship would tell me husband what he could and couldnt tell anyone. He told me it stressed him out and so I stopped doing that because I realised that I was repeating a pattern of burden and putting it onto him.

However, I don't fully trust my husband and keep a lot to myself. Anything personal to me that I do not want to be repeated, I have to be very specific that he cannot tell anyone. I still have my doubts and just cannot be fully vulnerable with him unless I am really upset about something. Most of this is childhood trauma stuff.

Anyway I know that my mother in law tells everyone's business. I know all about my siblings-in-laws' lives, their kids, their problems, and as someone who was so guarded growing up, this is horrible.

Anyway recently, one of our older children (late primary) gor into very big trouble in school. It was very upsetting and while we supported the school and followed through on co sequences at home, I feel like i owe my child their privacy and that for their sake, I want this to be known by as few people as possible. It is not that I am ashamed. I'm not. But I value my child's right to be able to forget about it. It was a very sensitive issue and I just heard my husband on the phone to his mum giving him an update in a way which suggested that he has been keeping her updated.

On one hand, its his mum and he has a right to discuss his children with his family. On the other hand, its my child too and I value privacy and the right to not have everyone talking about you. I know far too much about my husband's nieces and nephews for example.

Is this me projecting my childhood or is my husband out of order for repeating every little thing back to a family who will share the news over dinner?

Aibu for feeling really uncomfortable with this? Am happy to be told that I am but dont want a big argument or to make things weird with him and his family.

Tell a joke that made you laugh.

I heard a good one recently.

A little toddler runs up to her Grandma, and says

"Grandma, pick me up."

Grandma says

"Oh, I'm sorry, darling, I can't pick you up any more, I'm getting an old lady now."

Granddaughter says

"What do want an old lady for? You've got meeee!"

Made me laff anyway!

The other day in the supermarket, I spotted something bizarre: a 12-pack and an 8-pack of the exact same sausages, both priced identical. Naturally, you’d grab the 12-pack, right? Everyone else was doing just that. I kept wondering why on earth they’d cost the same, and felt a bit sorry for the 8-packs just sitting there going to waste.

But when I got home and mentioned it, my youngest—who is currently being encouraged to apply for Oxford and Cambridge next year—solved my sausage mystery in a matter of seconds. Am I just being a bit thick?