We don’t have the biggest house and our very small dining table is in an alcove in the lounge, we pull it out for meals but there is 6 of us squeezed around this 4 seater table with 2 extra chairs.
Last year we decided to do a cold meat buffet instead and just have our plates on the sofa and it worked so we’ve decided to do the same again.
This year ds has a girlfriend and has asked if she can come for Christmas and I explained it will only be buffet but he’s unimpressed and says she’s from a posh family and would expect a traditional roast dinner.

Aibu to say we can’t cater for anyone else? We don’t mind if she wants to come for a while or even for some of the buffet but I will not be cooking a Christmas dinner.
Ds is concerned about her reaction to a non traditional roast.
We have met her once and I did put on a similar cold meats buffet back in the summer but she didn’t eat anything.

Haven’t bought a new perfume for a couple of years but been told by my mum to treat myself for Christmas. Went to Fenwicks and Boots yesterday to try a few and everything (in my price range of up to £100) seemed so sickly sweet! Or is this yet another side effect of peri menopause that everything smells disgusting to me now?

i got out of the habit of wearing fragrance regularly in covid but ones I have previously liked are:

Chloe (day time)
hugo boss femme (day)
hugo deep red (day)
YSL libre (evening)
armani code (evening)

Yesterday I tried Lancome la vie est belle and varieties thereof and found them overwhelmingly sweet. I also tried My Way by armani and a couple of others which were on offer but just so heavily vanilla scented.

any suggestions welcome and especially those at boots so I can get rewards points.

TIA

Hi all. Here's our new thread. Giving Rainbow a break and until Reastie returns. Sorry there wasn't a more inspiring title, didn't spot any comedy typos this time.

This is intended as a friendly, kind, safe, warm and fuzzy place for people to share discounts, bargains and Christmas gift ideas both online and IRL. Please note the tone and intention of the thread and join with spirit as generous as DC helping themselves to the Christmas chocolate celebrations

Here’s some useful information about how to save the thread or a specific post so you don’t need to have a message to check in for every thread so you have the thread saved:

To watch the thread - click on the little bell that has ‘watch’ under my first message. This adds the whole thread to your ‘watched threads’

You can also bookmark a specific post by clicking on the ‘bookmark’ under the specific post. This saves your exact place in a thread but doesn’t alert you to new replies.

If you have any referral links or codes, please share them on the referral thread here:

www.mumsnet.com/talk/christmas/5444936-bargain-referrals-thread-8

A reminder that we don't use affiliated links on here please

🎄 Emoji to copy if required for posting bargains as some agree this makes deals easier to spot. (or post in bold)

I have three children aged 7, 5 and 2. My husband’s sister has one child, aged 2. She’s a single mum by choice.

My SIL has quite strong parenting preferences. She’s very anti-plastic toys and prefers everything to be wooden and pastel-coloured. She’s also very anti-screens and doesn’t allow sweets. That’s absolutely her choice, and I’m not criticising how she chooses to raise her child. My children, however, are fairly typical kids. We have brightly coloured plastic toys, toy swords, all sorts of things, and I don’t have a strict no-screen policy. I’m not saying they’ll be glued to an iPad all Christmas, but equally I’m not going to promise that they won’t have any screen time at all. I certainly won’t stop my children having chocolate or a mince pie on Christmas Day (especially the two eldest).

We’re all spending Christmas Day at my in-laws’ house, and SIL has messaged me saying that she appreciates we all have different parenting styles, but she’d prefer it if we didn’t bring any plastic toys, particularly around her toddler, and asked if we could have no screens for the duration of our stay to avoid a situation where her child might join in and watch something, and no sweet treats within sight of her child. I honestly don’t know how to respond. I have no intention of deliberately putting things in front of her child that she doesn’t want him playing with, I’m happy to respect her rules for the gifts to her child and I’m happy to be sensible and considerate. But I don’t think it’s reasonable to expect me to restrict what my own children can bring or play with or eat because she has decided that certain toys and activities aren’t acceptable for hers.

I feel like everyone in the family tends to bend over backwards to accommodate SIL’s preferences (because she’s had a traumatic few years in terms of love life and decided to have a baby solo), and I’m starting to resent the expectation that the rest of us should just go along with everything to avoid upsetting her. Would it be unreasonable to reply along the lines of “I completely respect that you have different rules for your child, I will of course respect your wishes for Freddie’s gifts (ie not gifting Freddie a brightly coloured plastic toy, an iPad, a chocolate Santa) but I can’t promise to follow those same rules with mine. I’ll obviously be considerate, but I need to parent my own children in the way that works for us.”

Or am I being unnecessarily difficult? It’s Christmas, and I don’t want to create family tension, but I also don’t want to spend the whole day feeling like I’m being told how to parent my children.

For a variety of hideous reasons that I won’t bore you with I can no longer wear pjs at night and am looking for a really warm, really long nightie.
The more granny the better
any ideas ?

Ok l know im probably going to be slaughtered for this but here goes.
We moved a week ago into a new flat, purpose built block. We both smoke, yes l know its disgusting but whatever.
So today upstairs neighbours came down and said smoke was bothering them, im not sure how as they are not directly above us, but above on other side. I guess none of our frount doors are that good , so smoke is going out of ours upstairs and to the left to thiers? Seems unlikely but obviously they can smell it, they accused us of smoking in communal area hall which obviously l would never do. Other upstairs neighbours directly above say that they can't smell anything.
Im not really sure what to do now, l did say sorry and normally we would smoke outside just been hectic week moving and so wet but if we smoked inside we would do it furthest room away from frount door and close all the doors in between so 3 doors.
Apprently that's not good enough , they also dont want us smoking in the communal garden?
Aibu to think actually we can do what we like in our flat, and to just ignore them.

Me-

Covid came from a Chinese lab.
Epstein's death was engineered by a third party, whether by murder or by compromising the suicide watch.
Lucy Letby's conviction isn't sound and was affected by institutional motivation to find a cause for babies dying other than negligence and squalor across the department. (FAOD I have no idea whether she is innocent or guilty.)

I am attending a wedding in December. I've decided I want a mini dress as my legs are my favourite asset. For context, Im early 30s, short, size 14 and suit strong colours or black over paler colours. Anything Ive seen is a bit too informal. Has anyone seen any that would be suitable? TIA

Slightly depressed by the recent upsurge of chats about men's depravity - from individual celebrities to seemingly 50% of world population. With full respect to women's experiences (and could contribute my penny's worth), I am really keen to know what I can do, as mum of two teenage boys, for them not to be part of the problem.

To kick off:

• I've always tried to be open about sex-related conversations - not batting an eyelid when they report their latest sex-ed lesson at school, normalising body changes throughout puberty
• Related but slightly different: encouraging them to enjoy their bodies beyond sex - eg taking baths or long showers, not minding them nicking my skincare, encouraging sport/exercise and emphasising functional and health benefits rather than looks
• At the same time, open convos about toxic masculinity, eg watched together and discussed latest Louis Theroux documentary

It all feels pretty textbook to me, and yet there's a niggling worry that it's not enough, or that it's inadequate in the face of prevalent culture. What do / did you do to raise your sons to be respectful to women, yet aware of and comfortable with their own sexuality?

Every single female friend i've ever had,,has had at least one, if not various, awful encounters with men, the most being when younger-12/13-21 maybe.
I was good looking when younger, but nothing exceptional (not that, that matters, just putting in context)
These are the things I remember (sure there were more)

1). Friends and I regularly stared at and called out to by male drivers whilst we were stood at the bus stop, in our school uniforms-12/13 upwards
2). Followed by grown men at a hotel resort at age 13 in Tunisia on a family holiday. Grabbed by a 17 year old there and kissed with his tongue.
3). Man put his hand up my skirt when I was at a night club with my then boyfriend-age 16
4). Man sat behind me on the bus and put his hand under my arse, I froze, amazing lady saw from the back of the bus and came to get me to sit at the front with me.
5). 'Boys' (men) picking us up from school in their fancy cars/jeeps-age 15- mid nineties-they were 23/24
6). Snogging a man-23/24 when aged 16/17 and them trying to get me back to their place-I refused, he was very pushy
7). Losing my virginity at 17 to a 21 year old who plied me with booze ( not huge age gap, but looking back it seems a bit strange)
8). Husbands with wife and kids in tow gawping at me and my friends-13 upwards
9). Sunbathing on a beach in Greece with my boyfriend at 19, man of almost 50 following us back, talking about my chest, asking me out, in front of boyfriend
10). Sat in pub with same boyfriend, whilst he went to help his dad move equipment (he sang at the pub) group of 4 men older than my dad at the time circled around me and sat down saying I looked like such and such off Emmerdale/Corrie, leering at me
11). Two Greek men following my sister and I everywhere on a family holiday-me 20, her 15
12). Flashed and wanked at early morning on a beach when 23 by an old, vile man
13). Chased out of a pub and down the road by two men-20's maybe asking me and my best friend to go somewhere else for a drink with them-we were 13
14). Aged 22, boss at work-late 50's maybe, called me in for a meeting, made me feel very uncomfortable, talking about how I was quite shy, proceeded to ask my favourite sexual position.

I had a boyfriend from 17 (now married to him) so was mainly with him from then onwards, dread to think what would happen further if I wasn't.
Again, majority of the attention was when I was a teenager, I was still attractive and had some attention up to mid twenties, but nothing like those early years

Now i'm older and fat and it feels fantastic in that way

My friends have all also had numerous encounters from uncomfortable to full sexual assualt.

Anyone else noticing more of this amongst ladies especially who like getting their nails done? I'm a nail tech and been noticing upsurge in acrylic toenails (mainly french pedi) so of course I'm all for it, (plus think it's cute.) Business wise a big difference maker if it becomes more normalized.

Missing 11-month-old baby found buried alive in a crate in South Carolina https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c8e391xzg6z2o

Jesus, that poor baby, buried alive by his father.

I live an hour away from
my partner of a year. We see one another overnight once per week for 24-36 hours and then have a coffee/ walk on an evening midweek .
My 16 year old child has an issue with this. He refuses to engage in any activity outside the home except for walking the dog. Doesn’t meet friends , just wants me around all the time and has just accused me f being a shit mother essentially and asked why I had kids when’
im always gone’. My
other kids are thrilled for me . I’ve solo
parented all my life .. even when married but have done it completely on my own for the last eight years where I was fully
committed to my children and my work to support them.
I am sick to death of this child trying to control my life. I have so so little going on outside my home and I have probably finally met the live of my life where I am treated with such kindness, respect and love and my son kicks off.. again!!
Im emotional tonight as I’ve just received another tirade of verbal abuse but am I being unreasonable here???

Name changed for this one and just this post.

I'm a researcher. I have to interview a man in a week's time. We've had email conversations up to now and I need to send him some questions in advance and are having a Teams call in a week's time.

The problem is I've shagged him. When I was a student we had a casual relationship. I finished it because I felt I deserved more than that. He's older than me, by 12 years.

You can see from the user name how long ago it was. My surname is different now and I was a student. He won't know what I went on to do. I am different too, but my hair is the same colour, but longer.

I must admit I am curious, but have no desire at all to start anything up with him. Just to be clear.

Do you think he will remember me? I hope not. He's given no indication on any of the correspondence I've had with him. I can't get out of it, really.

How would you handle this?

I'm going through a serious cheese phase at the moment and it will surely continue over the festive period. I've got 8 different cheeses in the fridge at the moment! I had 9 this morning!

I'd love some suggestions for pairings please, for a cheeseboard but not restricted to.
Eg Brie and grapes

Happy to hear the classics of course, looking forward to the fancier/more luxurious combinations too.

TIA!

Do they exist? Just something warmish, easy, plain, reasonably flattering.

Aged 70, short, size 14.

Thanks!

My husband (of over ten years) and I share our finances. We have equal amount of spends for personal use. I’ve now found out he has been receiving an additional allowance from another role which he has hidden from me. Alongside that he’s been lying about his whereabouts to cover these earnings. It isn’t a great deal of money but it’s the deceit that concerns me. AIBU to think this means the trust has completely gone and I should walk away.?

We’re both in our 30s and have been friends for around 15 years. I have a 1yo son and am a SAHM. My friend doesn’t have children and doesn’t want any for the foreseeable future, if that’s relevant.

Since having my son, he comes pretty much everywhere with me: shopping, errands, meeting friends, museums, restaurants, family visits etc. He’s a fairly calm child and I enjoy having him around. I have plenty of family who could look after him, but unless there’s a reason he can’t come, I generally just take him with me. He’s also happier with me than any other caregiver so I really don’t see a reason to leave him. Obviously, my social life looks a bit different now. I go to fewer bars and fancy restaurants and see friends less often (because long journeys and child-unfriendly venues aren’t always practical), but I’m genuinely not bothered. It’s just a different season of life and I’m enjoying it, probably more than I enjoyed pre baby life.

This friend has seen me 3 times in the last year: once at my house when DS was 2–3 months old, once for a walk in the summer and once at a pub to celebrate a milestone of hers, where I stayed for about an hour with DS asleep in his pram. She recently messaged saying she missed me and asking if we could go for coffee or lunch. I said of course and asked when. She suggested a day and then asked, “Do you have someone to leave DC with?” I was a bit taken aback. Why would I need to arrange childcare for a casual coffee or lunch? If we’re going somewhere child-friendly, I don’t see why he can’t come. Honestly, if it’s just a social catch-up and he can’t come, I’m not particularly keen to go either. I’d obviously make exceptions for things like weddings, funerals or medical appointments, but I don’t feel the need to leave him behind just for the sake of it.

AIBU? Should I make more effort to see friends without my son, or is it reasonable to expect casual daytime meet-ups to accommodate him?

I didn't even know she was the one, and when I clicked, it was too late, already sold. Pic attached - grey, purple and yellow. Gorgeous colours in the right ratios, wool, just the right shape. I can't find another anywhere else (well, some Chinese knock off sites that I can't imagine deliver on their promise) and haven't found an alternative. The second pic could have been another vinted contender but angora in the mix nixed it for me. I saw these https://www.wolfandbadger.com/eu/lola-sweater-in-multicolor-multicolour/ & https://www.wolfandbadger.com/eu/striped-stitch-maya-crew-multicolour-stripe/ but they are too expensive not to be right.

I'm looking for boxy, wide stripes and jewel tones, in merino, wool or cashmere (or mix). No angora, mohair or acrylic. I have considered knitting one myself but I'm painfully slow at the best of times, currently exacerbated by actual shoulder pain. I'd pay £200-300 because I'll wear it forever. Very grateful for any suggestions

So my mum has a terminal illness. We don't know full details yet but standard prognosis is 2-5 years. One thing she's always always wanted is to see me get married.

I'm in a not totally new relationship as in we are thinking of moving in together soon, we've spoken about life in the future including getting married (he's been married before, I haven't) but I'm not sure that timeframe really fits

I couldn't imagine getting married without my mum there (my dad died when I was a child and I have no siblings so it's literally been the two of us since 1999, I also literally have no-one else to walk me down the aisle)

She's offering to pay for the whole thing including honeymoon - I guess from my inheritance but obviously I'd rather be homeless than lose my mum so the money doesn't matter.

I'm thinking we should maybe therefore commit to this before we are totally ready, but to have a symbolic ceremony only (a la Stacey Solomon/Joe Swash or Olivia Attwood/Bradley Dack) and then do the legal stuff at a later date if we feel that's what we want. As it's not legal there would be no implications if we split

Is this a completely ridiculous idea or do I give my mum her final wish?

I don't really know what I am posting for but I am just so upset about it. For the first time ever I dont know how we are going to pull off Christmas. For background, we have 6 children. Youngest 2, eldest 14. I am a stay at home mum as eldest has needs and well it is cheaper then childcare. Hubby works, bloody hard might I add,hes well paid and other then child benefit that everyone gets and dla for the eldest, we dont get benefits like UC etc, we arnt entitled and dont want to anyway.
Anyway everything has just come at once, my mental health has been really rubbish recently and I havnt done my usual buying early and stashing pressies away so I have maybe 1 thing per child and honestly no idea how we are going to do it. 1 pay day left, like I say lots of things have just all come at once that need paying too. Luckily the kids are angels and there isnt anything overly expensive on their lists, mostly diamond art/ drawing pads etc but one has put a proper camera and ones asked for a yoto. Im heartbroken and Christmas is so special to me, I love it. I know that it will still be Christmas and we will still have time together but kids deserve pressies and I dont have a money tree 😭😭😭 Anyone else?

I’m 37 and really want to invest in myself a bit. I’m not looking to completely change how I look or have anything particularly drastic done.

More of a natural, classy, polished look – healthy glowing skin, lovely hair, looking a bit fresher and generally feeling good about myself.

I’m particularly interested in glass-skin skincare, Korean beauty products, anything that genuinely improves skin texture and hydration, and products that give you that healthy glow.

I’m also open to beauty treatments, hair treatments, brows, lashes, facials, teeth whitening etc.

But I don’t want to waste £500 on products that are all hype and end up sitting in a bathroom cupboard!

So, Style & Beauty people, what are your absolute best buys?

• What skincare products made a genuinely noticeable difference to your skin?
• Any Korean skincare holy grails?
• Best anti-ageing products that are actually worth the money?
• Any treatments you’ve had that made you think WOW, I look so much better?
• Best hair products or treatments for healthier, fuller-looking hair?
• Any little beauty investments that made a surprisingly big difference?

I’m interested in the expensive recommendations AND the £10 products that outperform everything else.

Basically, if you had £500 to spend on yourself, what would you buy or have done?

Give me all your recommendations, please!

I’m ready to take notes. 😂❤️

Does anyone else find it ridiculously difficult to find things in their handbag, especially in the dark?
I live in The Hague, and sometimes I literally spend five minutes standing outside my front door trying to find my keys late at night. Not particularly fun when it's cold and dark outside!
It got me thinking about how handbags could be more practical. I'm exploring a concept for a handbag that automatically lights up inside when you open it, illuminating the entire interior rather than just one small spot.
I've attached a couple of AI-generated images to show what I mean.
Would something like this actually make your life easier, or is it completely unnecessary? And what kind of handbags do you generally find the most practical?
I'd love to hear your thoughts, especially if you've already found a good solution! 😊

My family (mum and her partner, my sister and half sister and their families) are due to visit and stay with us for a few days over Xmas. We live about 150 miles from them so we alternate spending Christmas in the two places, although we always go out for Christmas dinner. My half sister doesn’t always join us but does sometimes and is this year.

We all agreed on the restaurant for Christmas Day a few months ago and I booked it. My half sister is now saying she can’t afford it and wants us to host Xmas dinner at home. We really don’t want to do that as we look forward to going out for it, not cooking and just relaxing.

I’ve suggested that she comes before or after Xmas for a day or two instead but she thinks that’s unfair and doesn’t see why we can’t just cook dinner at home. My mum is siding with her and it’s causing friction. Are we being unreasonable to not want to change our plans and not want to have to cook dinner ourselves when we were looking forward to going out?

Welcome back everyone. New thread just in time for Black Friday.

How is everyone's self restraint looking? 😂😂😂

Fingers crossed for some good bargains this year especially all those advents that haven't sold out. We've probably bought some of those already but let's ignore that.

Happy bargain hunting. 😍