We moved into our house just before Christmas last year. We are one of 6 houses on a lane in an u shape and our house is directly opposite one of the other houses. All of the houses are set back so we are not close to the houses opposite.

When we moved in last year, we put up lights on our house and in two of our trees at the front of our house as well as 2 nutcrackers and a Christmas wreath on the door. Nothing garish, just white lights. Every time we saw the neighbours opposite they would comment on the lights and decorations. They said things like that’s is a lot of lights, did you leave any in the shop for anyone else, we certainly can’t miss you etc. We took the lights down in January.

This is now our first autumn in the house and my husband has put up some lights along the front of the house, a garland around the front door and a wreath on the door. We went out for the evening and have come home to a note from the neighbour opposite which said she doesn’t like the lights, none of the past neighbours have ever put them up and that the lights will give her migraines like the ones we put up at Christmas did. She would like us to remove the lights.

How do we respond to this? My husband thinks we just ignore it but I said she will talk to us when we see her if we don’t go over and talk to her about it. He said he’ll tell her not to look at the lights. What would you say? We obviously plan to put the lights up for Christmas again this year so that isn’t going to go down well either.

We know she has moaned about other things to some of the other neighbours like their grandchildren playing outside on their bikes so she seems to be a moaner.

What do people really rate ? Mascara wise?

I switched to Sisley rituals hair recently after a thread on here ( total game changer wish I’d found their shampoo years ago ). And I wondered if I’m missing out on a great mascara too ? So I thought I’d ask the great hive mind of Mumsnet.

I always end up with maybelline lash sensational which is…ok. But just that - ok. I really want that holy grail of lengthening and curling and staying power and am prepared to pay for the right one. I’ve tried the tubing mascaras and I don’t get the hype at all - they just didn’t do anything for me. what’s your best one that you return to? Expensive or cheap - I don’t care ad long as it works.

My account has been restricted by Amazon. Because I violated their returns and refunds policy. I'm gobsmacked (sorry to those who hate that word).

I am only allowed to make digital purchases.

Have been with Amazon for over 20 years and there's never been any issues with my account.

Of late, yes, I have returned several items, for various reasons (faulty, etc) and several packages have gone missing as, despite my explicit instructions on my account, the Amazon delivery people continued to leave my parcels in an unsafe place. Mainly, the public entrance foyer of my block of flats. They are still doing this with parcels for other residents.

I have a gift card balance on the account of over £200 and I have been told that they will not be refunding this money to me. WTF?

This is made worse by the fact that I recently placed an order and applied the gift cards to that order, and it certainly looked as if the purchase had gone through, with the gift cards as payment. However, when I received my credit card statement, the payment had been taken from my credit card. So, I am now £170 out of pocket and have have a huge gift card balance that I can't use.

Please, can anyone offer any advice here? Is there ANYONE that I can appeal to at Amazon? Is it even legal for them to keep my money like this??

Thank you in advance. I'm totally blindsided by this.I cannot emphasise strongly enough that I am not a dodgy customer. There has never been ANY issues with my account up till now.

AIBU?

my husband works full time, I’m a stay at home mum as I was made redundant while pregnant.

we have a 5 YO and a 9 MO. I do 99% of the parenting. Because I’m a stay at home mum I also do the majority of the housework. When my husband gets home if there’s something not done (like the dishwasher emptied, washing not sorted etc) he’ll be in a mood with me. I do try to keep up with the household stuff but having a baby to look after and food shopping/house admin/everything else on top of it is sometimes hard but to be honest I think I do keep up quite well.

He makes his own dinner when he gets in at night (I offer but he doesn’t like my food) and will sometimes do a little bit of housework (maybe he’ll mop once a month or fold some washing?).

he plays football 4 times a week and again, I’m doing 100% of the parenting in this time. I do all meal times, bath times and lie with the kids til they’re asleep too. I honestly don’t mind as I love being a mum, I feel like it was my sole purpose but what I do mind is when he gets home and is in a mood because X, Y and Z hasn’t been done. Or like tonight when i nip out for 20 minutes (with the 5 YO) and he’s phoning me because he can’t cope with the baby and again, in a horrid mood because I shouldn’t have left the house at that time apparently.

like I say I don’t mind doing all of the parenting, I love my babies so much but I hate how he goes in a mood with me and I’m beginning to wonder if I’m in the wrong. Should I be more more on top of things as I don’t work? I feel like I need to walk on eggshells as he pays the bills. Am I being totally unreasonable?

Jeans, I'm lost. After moving on from skinnies, have been wearing girlfriend fit, but even they don't seem as easy to find. I'm unsure about barrel leg. I'm short and in drapey trousers fabric the fit is great, but in stiff denim? I'm not so sure it'll be a good look. Think I need something reasonably fitted around the hips or it'll just look big all over. Has anyone come across an up to date fit that doesn't completely overwhelm the frame if you're a bit shorter? I really need new jeans as mine are wearing out. Best would be from m and s, next or new look as they'll be easiest to get hold of and not too expensive. Tis.

Unfortunately for me, as a woman, I seem to have plenty of neck, chic and upper lip hair. I don't know if it is because of hormones, the pill, etc. I used to pluck but switched to shaving years ago. I'm going wild camping with a very new bf at the weekend. How can I discreetly shave by a Loch!? I don't think a hairly face is an option, we're spending 24 hours together, within 24 hours it will be 1mm of stubble. 🙁

While I'm looking after my grandson (2 &1/2), it's my job to keep him safe and happy. I do want to teach him social skills (sharing etc)...but also that he's important & he shouldn't necessarily put other people ahead of himself (especially strangers).
So, when at the park, I allow him to stay on the swing even when there are people nearby waiting for a turn.

At a park today, there was a very vocal mother with 2 children. She came along about 1 minute after gs had got on the swing. One of her children got on the other swing while her 2nd child had to wait. She kept saying, very loudly, that other child had to wait until we finished. Until he complained enough that she removed her daughter from the swing to let him on (making her daughter cry). Why would she think it's ok for my gs...a stranger...to be upset by being removed for her children?
There was another (I assume) grandparent that had taken child from her pram to sit & wait right next to the swing for a turn. Why not go on a different activity while waiting? It just feels pushy!

My grandson had waited ages for a turn...but from other areas of the park..& went running over once the swings were free. What rules do other people go by...& do these change with children's ages?

DH has bought something for the house without mentioning it to me and I am honestly a bit annoyed.

It was about £40 so its not like he's gone mad or anything but its something we absolutely did not need and I would have rather the money went towards other things tbh.

I only found out because the parcel turned up and when I asked what it was he said he'd ordered it a couple of days ago. I said I wish he'd mentioned it first and he said why, its hardly a big purchase and he doesn't ask me before buying things for himself.

I do see that point but I don't really think its the same when its something for the house? Especially when we've got other things coming up that we need to pay for.

I am not saying he needs to ask permission every time he spends money btw. If he wants to buy himself something with his own money then obviously thats different. But if its coming out of our joint account for something that is basically unnecessary then surely its reasonable to discuss it first?

He thinks I'm being controlling and making an issue out of nothing.

AIBU?

1950s houses, semi detached. Next door are housing association if that makes a difference.

Their guttering at the back is connected to ours and we share a downpipe down my side.
The problem we have is that when it pours heavily my guttering can't take all the water from two houses and overflows.
They also have a giant tree at least 50 ft in their garden that they said they would remove but haven't so that clogs it up too but even when not clogged guttering is struggling.
Can we ask them to put in their own downpipe to take pressure off ours? It happens every year and it's getting annoying.
Edit: no other houses on our street share downpipes so not sure why ours is the only one.

Looking for people's thoughts on changing a small ensuite into a wardrobe/office. We have an upstairs bathroom and downstairs wc 2 bedrooms 1 box room. Overall space limited in house so looking to utilise as much as possible. Would you keep ensuite or change?

Clothes accessories cosmetics everything.

Here’s the scenario
Mum and teenage son plan a 3 night trip to Europe. Mum intend her partner and also son’s friend. Apartment sleeps 6 (2 bedroom). Partner invites two relatives.

Apartment can’t be cancelled.

There was no mention of cost split when friend was invited, it has subsequently become clear a split is expected.

Partner and relatives are no longer going.

How much of the apartment cost should be attributed to the friend?

This makes perfect sense in Ireland but I've heard it can be used in Scotland and maybe even the north of England?

https://www.dailymail.com/tvshowbiz/article-16095481/Romesh-Ranganathan-reveals-young-sons-faced-horrible-abhorrent-racist-abuse-school.html

It seems a sad fact that racism is on the rise but I was actually surprised to read that Romesh’s sons have been suffering this abuse. It reminds me of schools in the 70s/80s.

I treated myself to a back, neck and head massage yesterday after a period of stress.

It was at a spa so more of a relaxing vibe and seemed very gentle at the time (I'm more used to sports massages that really hurt).

Yet it seems to have triggered a very painful headache (as well as back pain overnight, like I was all seized up, but this has lessened now). The headache is still going strong over 24 hours later. Paracetamol helps a bit but it is like no other headache I have experienced. The front half of my head is very sore, it feels very deep inside my head.

Is this normal-ish, what is going on?

Hi all, I am really struggling to find some shapewear and need some help.

I am 49, size 10, 34 DD with quite a round tummy (3 babies). Our daughter is getting married and I have a lovely dress, but really need pulling in at the bust and tummy. I haven’t got much confidence at the best of times and just feel really self conscious.

Looking for a body suit, with tummy control and underwired minimiser. Does such a thing exist? There isn’t a budget so any suggestions would be gratefully received. Thank you!!

how much does everyone spend on coffee and eating out

Is this too much to wear to the office? I wore it with a belt so wondering if I was over dressed?

Last night I went to a languages night at a local bar (everyone wears tags with what languages you speak so you can practice & socialise).

My friend and I ended up chatting to 2 guys from Qatar who were just in the bar, not for the language night. So asked what languages they speak and they said Arabic and then said we are Muslim. My friend asked if they were practicing Muslims and one of the guys asked why. My friend kind of dodged a reply and tried to change the subject but he asked why she asked if they were practicing and persisted on the question. My friend said something like ‘oh I just wondered because you are drinking’ (alcohol)

He got really offended so I tried to back my friend up and said that well I was raised catholic but I’m no longer practicing, some people aren’t. The conversation moved on and it was all friendly in the end.

AIBU to think that while the awkward moment probably could’ve been avoided, my friend was just asking questions to get to know them? To clarify, she was absolutely not judging them for drinking but they were in fact drinking so it was a fair enough question. Not everyone raised in a religion do practice it continually and that is perfectly fine. As I said we continued chatting and it was all friendly but I think it played on her mind a bit.

DD’s 12th birthday is in a couple of months, so we’re starting to think about presents. She has asked for some Lego, but we’re struggling to find something which would appeal to her. She loved Lego Friends, but feels she has outgrown it. Lego City sets also seem a bit young, lots with age guidance of 6+/8+, and she has never been into the Ninjago range.

There are sets related to film/TV/gaming franchises (Minecraft, Fortnite, Pokémon, Harry Potter), but she isn’t into any of those. I’m surprised she hasn’t enjoyed Harry Potter, but she has read the first two books and watched the first two films, and didn’t enjoy them. There are the “adult” sets (flowers etc., not “adult” in that way!), but they all have age guidance of 18+. Some are also incredibly expensive.

I would be very grateful for suggestions, as we feel that we’re finding a gap between the end of Lego Friends and the sets aimed at adults. Thank-you!

DH’s back has ‘gone’. He has a weak spot there and has fairly regular osteopathy appts to keep things supple, but on Sat pm it went in to spasm again and he’s been hobbling around the house and can no way walk outside the house. He’s ok to be left )I had my own arrangements yesterday and adult dd was here if he needed assistance.
i think he should go to our local walk-in to get some stronger painkillers/anti-spasmodics but he’s resisting (unf I can’t drive for medical reasons but we could uber in 10 mins). Ibuprofen doing nothing and I’ve got some codiene from an op I had but he won’t take that either!!

I walked into the hall to see something from a horror film.

30 minutes, a pair of rubber gloves and a litre of dettol later and I am sweaty, traumatised and feel nauseous.

I need a shower and a cup of tea 😭

What’s everyone’s take on this?

Dh was driving through our city today and I was looking around and so many of the high streets are overrun with dodgy shops.

Loads of those shops with LED lights and crates of water outside, barber shops, nail shops, takeaways, vape stores. Then there are all the closed down ones covered in graffiti.

I don’t believe for a second that most of them are making any money and some/most look an absolute mess.

Aibu to think that there should be some more regulation on ‘businesses’, I also think that if a business is allowed to operate then their should be something that says that they should keep the front tidy and in keeping with the area.

My DH was diagnosed with Alzheimers 6 years ago. I was taking care of him at home but he is now in a care setting. Right now he is physically in good shape but has almost no short term recollection. Things from the past pop up regularly in conversation.

We went to a festival in our town this Saturday last. A woman we know (I wouldn't call us friends) walked up to say hello and my DH's face completely lit up! He reached out for her and said "where have you been to, love? I have been waiting for you". The happiness on his face was so clear. He completely turned his attention to her and from the things he was saying it was clear that in his mind she is much more than an acquaintance. The woman (who is married and much younger than we are) seemed uncomfortable but spoke to him kindly. His long time best mate was there and he looked like he wished the earth would swallow him up. After a while she said her goodbyes and walked away. My DH seemed confused and I could tell he was looking for her frantically but not making a ruckus. When we went to leave we walked by her again and he took her by the arm, then cradled her face and told her he loved her. She had tears in her eyes and said she loved him too. She and I locked eyes and it was almost comforting.

I tried to speak to him about it on the car ride back but he was tired and withdrawn. I'm not sure he would have responded anyway. Our marriage has had its ups and downs over the years, before his illness. His work kept him away from home quite a lot. I'm wondering if he knows her better than I certainly realized. I am stunned.

DH and I were very friendly with a group of people, 3 couples. They came to our wedding, one of the men was my husbands best man etc. We all had children around the same time. Kids all got on in school and were invited to each others parties etc.

Then, two other couples joined the group, one woman was always a ‘Queen Bee’ type but nice enough, the other got a job as teacher in our small local primary school.

The teacher taught my daughter but unfortunately I had some issues with the school and had to raise a complaint eventually. Suddenly I was the complete outcast, the group closed up and ostracised myself and DH, despite the complaint not being directed at this teacher.

We lost our friendship group and even wider friends in one fell swoop which hurt so much. I suspect that the teacher (who is so far up her own backside she can kiss her teeth) did her level best to drag our names through the mud even though we had a legitimate complaint to make about the school and how they were treating a number of children who were set to go to a secondary school that wasn’t the choice of the school. Not one of them have actually ever had the guts to speak to me or tell me what I was meant to have done and even 15 years later it hurts when I see them and they blank me.

I’d love to ask them what their problem is after all this time, it was a hurtful, childish and ‘mean girl’ thing to do. I’d have preferred it if one of them had the guts to actually tell me at the time that I’d done something to upset someone. All I can think of is the school complaint. I can absolutely guarantee that if there was an issue with the schooling of one of their children they would have done exactly the same thing.