Is it necessary to go for one that meets the Swedish plus car test? We are deciding between the Maxi Cosi Pebble (which does not meet the Swedish test) and the Axxkid or another seat that does meet the higher standard. We were advised by John Lewis that you can only have a newborn in the Axxkid for 30 minutes but that doesn’t apply to other car seats but having researched this I’m not sure that’s right as my understanding is that you shouldn’t have a newborn in car seats for more than 30 minutes generally. advice welcome

I have had a lodger staying Monday to Friday for about 5 months.

It was generally working out quite well.

He has his own large room, which has a sofa and TV, and his own bathroom.

We share the kitchen and dining room. I have a separate living room.

The arrangement started that I provided basic breakfast food items for him to prepare: cereal and bread, butter, jam, honey etc

An evening meal was not included in our agreement. I did tell him, however, that he was welcome to have what I’d cooked, or if I was out or he wanted something different he could have one of several ready meals, or use any food in the fridge or freezer unless it was earmarked for another meal.

I made it clear that I eat fairly early, normally around 6.00pm, and if he wanted the meal I’d cooked and he wasn’t home in time, I would plate it up and he could re heat it when he liked.

He was happy with this as he hadn’t expected any meals ( the rent is very low for the facilities provided in this area), and had only asked for space to store his own food.

He now has his own cupboard/ fridge space in case he wants something different.

I like to cook and the meals I provide are cooked from scratch and accompanied by fresh vegetables. If we are both there when the meal is ready we often eat together in the dining room.

He has recently mentioned a few times that he would prefer to eat his meal when it was hot, rather than having to re heat it. This is quite a change from when he first moved in, and told me that he often ate Pot Noodles as he couldn’t be bothered to cook.

I advertised for a lodger to help with the bills and am happy to let him share my food, but I am not running a hotel. I don’t want to eat later, nor cook a separate meal for him and be clearing up at up to 8.30pm. He arrives back somewhere between 5.30 - 8.15pm.

Our contract only states that I will provide basic breakfast items. I am under no obligation to provide any other meals, although I am concerned that it might appear so through custom/ practice.

I’ve already told him that I am not prepared to change the timing of my meal, but it hasn’t stopped him mentioning it.

I am considering withdrawing the offer of evening meals altogether.

I am posting here to try to get a balanced view.

In other ways he is a good fit as a lodger, although there have obviously been some niggles.

Ok l know im probably going to be slaughtered for this but here goes.
We moved a week ago into a new flat, purpose built block. We both smoke, yes l know its disgusting but whatever.
So today upstairs neighbours came down and said smoke was bothering them, im not sure how as they are not directly above us, but above on other side. I guess none of our frount doors are that good , so smoke is going out of ours upstairs and to the left to thiers? Seems unlikely but obviously they can smell it, they accused us of smoking in communal area hall which obviously l would never do. Other upstairs neighbours directly above say that they can't smell anything.
Im not really sure what to do now, l did say sorry and normally we would smoke outside just been hectic week moving and so wet but if we smoked inside we would do it furthest room away from frount door and close all the doors in between so 3 doors.
Apprently that's not good enough , they also dont want us smoking in the communal garden?
Aibu to think actually we can do what we like in our flat, and to just ignore them.

I have a paranoid friend and he’s always saying how the fridges, bomb hoaxes, and now US and Microsoft are part of “the QFS”. I don’t really get it but I don’t want to ask him as he goes on and on. Can someone explain it to me?

Very much as the title. The Times says that all of the women spoke to reporters before hearing the allegations in the trial.

Russell Brand: six more women accuse him of sexual misconduct

As the comedian and actor begins a ten-year sentence for rape and sexual assault, more alleged victims speak out in solidarity with those who gave evidence

Russell Brand has been accused of sexual misconduct and predatory behaviour by a further six women, The Times can reveal.

Brand, 51, was this week sentenced to more than a decade in prison after being found guilty of raping one woman and sexually assaulting three more following a trial at Southwark crown court.

Among the claims in a new investigation by The Times and Sunday Times is that Brand had sex with a woman without her consent, then apologised afterwards. Another woman said that he continued having sex with her after she asked him to stop because he was hurting her. She alleges that he later told her: “Tonight was consensual. Nobody did anything they didn’t want to do.”

The new allegations could not be reported until the criminal case against the former comedian and actor ended, to avoid prejudicing proceedings.

Here is a share token for the full article (it's quite a long read)

https://www.thetimes.com/article/968a16b2-eef8-4017-96de-acded0d9fa87?shareToken=ea1c832276059bbd5db50619ed241256&ver=article

Fab jacket and I am not clever enough to post a photo.
My DH would look wonderful in a similar one.
Can anyone help? (Hoping they do it in tall fit!)

Wow. I wonder what has happened?!

Hi all. Here's our new thread. Giving Rainbow a break and until Reastie returns. Sorry there wasn't a more inspiring title, didn't spot any comedy typos this time.

This is intended as a friendly, kind, safe, warm and fuzzy place for people to share discounts, bargains and Christmas gift ideas both online and IRL. Please note the tone and intention of the thread and join with spirit as generous as DC helping themselves to the Christmas chocolate celebrations

Here’s some useful information about how to save the thread or a specific post so you don’t need to have a message to check in for every thread so you have the thread saved:

To watch the thread - click on the little bell that has ‘watch’ under my first message. This adds the whole thread to your ‘watched threads’

You can also bookmark a specific post by clicking on the ‘bookmark’ under the specific post. This saves your exact place in a thread but doesn’t alert you to new replies.

If you have any referral links or codes, please share them on the referral thread here:

www.mumsnet.com/talk/christmas/5444936-bargain-referrals-thread-8

A reminder that we don't use affiliated links on here please

🎄 Emoji to copy if required for posting bargains as some agree this makes deals easier to spot. (or post in bold)

my autistic teenager is always crying, upset, really grumpy and in a bad mood, it’s pretty much ever day. please tell me it gets better? has anyone been through this? even the other kids have noticed it

According to DD, I look like a Christmas tree...
is there any hope or should I send the trousers back?

Please help me. I’m breaking down. My partner and I have been having relationship problems for a while but after he came back to me in August I thought we were working on things.

We’ve been together 12 years. We have a 10 year old daughter. He’s my best friend my only friend.

Since Monday he’s been saying he doesn’t want to be with me anymore. I’ve begged and pleaded and promised everything but he’s been so cold and adamant that he doesn’t love me like he used to and it’s over.

Cut to tonight he comes back home and I start up crying and begging him to give me another chance but he wasn’t interested then I ask him if he’s met someone else AND HE SAID YES. He won’t tell me who she is. He won’t tell me where he met her. Apparently it’s been going on for 5 days and nothing has happened just talking. That means nothing to me, we’ve been loyal to each other our whole relationship even during breaks (about a week long before he comes back) in my eyes he might as well have fucked her.

I’m completely in shock. We’ve been here before and always managed to work things out over a week or two but never anything like this.

I don’t even know what else to write here I’m shaking and crying and just want to kill myself. And I just want him back so badly STILL.

Please help if you can I have no one else to turn to and I don’t know how to get through the next hour let alone the rest of my life without him.

Thank you for reading x

okay so i saw her in london this weekend and it's bothering me.
shes between 45 and 55. Blonde flicky shirt bob. sexy eyes. very pretty with a distinctive english, posh, clipped accent. fairly tall.

You have to have someone with you for at least 24 hours from when you wake up. You'll need at least 2 days off. Tell them in advance should go down as sick leave

I’m going out for an afternoon tea at a posh London place with friends who are effortlessly stylish.

We are all 40something plus but they are considerably thinner and richer than me so always look well pulled together.

I also have the joy of being a size 18 with huge boobs and horrendous legs so struggle to ever look stylish as usually resort to dresses of some sort.

Please help me source an outfit in the sales/off Vinted. Budget up to £250 if it is clothing I can wear again.

I suit warm tones as am a brunette with brown eyes.

I feel like everyone should watch her full interview.

https://news.sky.com/video/comedian-lucy-beaumont-i-offered-to-pay-legal-fees-for-woman-who-signed-walliams-nda-13610774

Bravo👏

Let the conversation continue…..

DH and I had our first baby 2 weeks ago. Together 16 years, since I was 19 and he was 23.

His mum has been like a second mum to me watched me grow up from graduation to first apartment, first home, first jobs. She says she considers me like a daughter and a close friend, and has always cheered us on as a unit.

DH is the oldest of 3 boys, so this is her first grandchild.

She came over 5 days after I gave birth. She gave DH a lovely, expensive leather wallet engraved with our baby’s name and a card saying how proud she is of him as a first-time dad.

She got me nothing. Just a quick “congratulations.” No card with both our names, no flowers, nothing. And she didn’t ask how I was feeling, if her girl needed anything, how my body was adjusting, how I’m holding up.

It felt like: “well, I have my granddaughter, she provided me with, and that’s what matters” not how SHE is doing.

This was after a long, difficult journey to get pregnant that she supported me through. She knows what a huge deal this pregnancy was for us and our families. So to not even be acknowledged...

What makes it hurt more is how much I included her. I included her equally to my own mum the whole way through ultrasound pics, pregnancy updates, shopping for baby things together, all of it. She was welcome at the hospital ASAP. I also made it very clear that both my MIL and mom were invited over anytime they wanted after our baby was born. The only people in the delivery room were DH and the doctors. I didn’t do that because I felt obligated, I did it because I wanted to. She will be the grandmother just the same as my mum will, and I wanted to genuinely include her because I love her dearly. I didn’t treat one different to the other.

So to do all that and then not be treated as a unit in return... it stung.

Honestly, it’s crazy she didn’t think about me at all. I’d just grown a human for 9 months, given birth 5 days ago, and I’m sitting there sore, bleeding, exhausted, trying to keep a newborn alive, and she’d put all that thought into a gift for her son and zero thought into me? I didn’t want something expensive a card with both our names, a snack, a coffee, a chocolate bar, anything small to say “I thought of you too” would have meant the world. She didn’t bring me so much as a bottle of water.

If she sees me as a daughter and close friend, why wasn’t she happy for me too? If your daughter/best friend just had a baby after fertility struggles you watched her go through, wouldn’t you be bursting to say “I’m so proud of you, you did it”?

I do get that dads get overlooked and I’m glad she thought of him he deserved to feel seen. But why does him getting a gift mean I don’t get one? It’s not either/or. She could have celebrated him AND acknowledged me. Why does him being seen have to come at the cost of me being invisible?

Even my boss sent flowers addressed to both of us by name. My BOSS. And my mum congratulated BOTH of us, said she’s proud of BOTH of us, asks us BOTH how she can help, and brings meals making sure there’s something DH likes too. I’d be mortified if my mum treated DH like an afterthought.

I honestly thought the days of me feeling like an outsider were over. I thought once we were a family with a baby, I wouldn’t be “his wife” and “his mum’s grandchild” anymore we’d finally just be us, one family unit. But in that moment I felt split off from my own family again. Like she was celebrating her son and her granddaughter, and I was just... separate. After 16 years together and everything I’d done to include her, I thought we were past that.

A few minutes after the wallet, I said, “I’m sorry I’m going to go to the back room with my baby now because I’m really not feeling too well and I need a moment,” and I left with the baby. I was curt. I didn’t yell or cause a scene, I just removed myself because I was about to cry.

I told DH after she left that I felt like an incubator for her real family her son and grandchild and an afterthought, separated from my own family unit.

I later texted her directly because I didn’t want it to fester. I said I love her, I was happy she came, but I left feeling hurt and invisible. That after everything it took to get here, it was hard to watch her have such a thoughtful gift/card for DH and nothing for me, not even asking how I was. I said I wasn’t looking for a big gift or a fight, I just needed her to know because she means too much to me to pretend it didn’t hurt. I didn’t accuse her of doing it on purpose. All I got back was oh I’m sorry. Something is definitely off.

It’s not about the wallet. It’s about being made invisible at my most vulnerable. If my mum had done the same to DH, I’d have pulled her up on it immediately.

AIBU for leaving curtly and then texting her I was hurt? Or was that the adult thing to do?

Do you prefer Costa or Starbucks and why? Definitely Costa (love their Black Forest hot chocolate in the winter) for me although family and all of my friends seem to prefer Starbucks x

Old school telephone landlines are being switched off in January 2027 as we’ve all been told to go digital. In the light of the last 2 days with the Microsoft ‘outage’, AIBU to think this is lunacy?

Hi, DC (Year 7) has recently expressed interest in boarding after a 1-week residential with their class. DC is quite independent, loves a challenge and enjoys being trusted with responsibilities.

We are now seriously considering it as we think it would be good to give DC the opportunity to fly the nest. This would be a Year 7 entry aged 11+

I have been doing some research and wonder if anyone can share their knowledge or experience of

RGS High Wycombe
Gordon's School
St George's
Reading School

Or any other state boarding schools they regard highly. I am more interested in excellent pastoral care. I know a lot of these schools are oversubscribed but usually have boarding places. I would also be keen to learn what boarding school children do after school?

Thanks in advance xx

What shall I do with these to tidy and maintain? What would you do?

I’d like to get her something from a proper fragrance brand, probably not Sol de janeiro or anything like that.

but of course not anything wildly expensive or too sophisticated.

maybe Vera wang princess? Ideas welcome please

I am in my early 50s. I've been no contact with my mother for 15 years.

The brief background is that I grew up in an abusive environment (mainly, but not exclusively, from my mum to me). I have been left with a fair bit of childhood trauma to deal with and had therapy so I manage and have been reasonably successful in building a life I find ways to be happy with.

I had no choice but to go no contact with her because her behaviour, choices and utter contempt for me ultimately posed a risk to my children. The police and social services were briefly involved. An Initial Assessment was carried out by the LA and the case was closed on the understanding that I was able to safeguard my children and would go no contact.

It was made very clear that, should I seek to continue contact and they found out, then a S47 enquiry would be opened with a view to removing the children. I have not seen her since.

So this is a serious and genuine reason to have cut contact and not a single argument or small ongoing disagreement (as many people assume is the cause of nc).

About 10 years ago, I became friends with a woman who lives about 15 miles from me. We met through a hobby. Over the years, we shared things about our families and I gave her the bare bones of my situation.

About 3 years ago, she tagged her mum in a fb post. I saw it as she is my friend and, to my horror, I saw my mum had commented on the post.

It turned out that completely unbeknownst to us, our mum's had also met each other and become friends.

I know my friend's mum but don't often see her. I don't know why but more recently, ive begun to feel really uneasy and anxious about it. I know my mum has been a good friend to my friend's mum (this doesn't surprise me)..

I am finding increasingly that I feel really uneasy/anxious about this. I know my friend hasn't said anything to her mum because she is very elderly now (in her 90s) and she wouldn't want her to say anything to my mum (who is 20 years younger).

Can anyone help me unpick this? Why now?

I don't need advice on the nc part. Reconnecting is out of the question. I won't say some of the things she has said/done because it would be upsetting for some people to read.

I haven't been able to tell anyone why we are no contact so I have lost extended family, family friends from my childhood including godparents over this. So it has had a huge impact.

So although it happened 15 years ago, we are not really at a peaceful place of it all being behind us - eg my daughter has to declare the SS involvement when she applies for jobs, have a meeting about and relive it.

So the whole thing was a long time ago and a constant presence all at the same time.

If anyone has personal or professional experience of this, I'd really like to hear your thoughts.

I am at my wits end and I am really hoping someone can give me some insight. My daughter (11) is experiencing severe contraction like pains between 8pm- 10pm every night. She also has nausea throughout the day. She has had blood tests, urine samples, ultrasounds all fine, xray showed some fecal loading and she’s just started on some laxatives. Looking for some similar success stories as this has been ongoing for 5 weeks now and I’m desperate for answers/any experience others have had in relieving these symptoms?

I’ve come across this old article about Charlotte Church online today and it’s truly disgusting. 🤢

It got me looking into similar articles of the 90s and Noughties and I just can’t believe how we all went along with it and how acceptable it was.

It sent me down an even further rabbit hole, think Brooke Shields posing naked for a magazine at 10! And naked in the films Pretty Baby aged 12 & Blue Lagoon at 14!

AIBU to be shocked at how women went along with this blatant paedophilia for so long?