On a (fairly busy) train. Woman has been filing her nails for the past ten minutes. Brushing of the debris on to the floor.

YABU = acceptable
YANBU = not acceptable 🤢

My husband is desperate to call the baby Lucy after his deceased mum but I really dislike the name - probably because I had a best friend for years and we had a terrible fall out with that name
Anyway - how can I make it better?
I won’t know for a while if we are indeed having a girl - well about a week as I’m having a private blood gender scan for this exact reason but it’s all I can think about!

Can anyone tell me nicknames other than the normal Lulu, Luce or a double barrel that works well that I could maybe use alone?

I can only think of Lucy-Matilda and call her Tilly for short but husband said that’s basically scrapping Lucy entirely which I guess is true!

thanks so much xx

And it’s lovely - I think anyway.

https://www.johnlewis.com/content/christmas-advert

Here we go round the mulberry bush, the mulberry bush, the mulberry bush……..

This is an emotive and sensitive topic so I hope everyone can be respectful. It’s also not a topic I am as well versed in as I would wish to be, so please don’t assume I have lots of knowledge about this when putting forward your views.

I’ve been reading in the news about the calls at the Commonwealth summit for apologies and reparations for the trans-Atlantic slave trade.

What are your views on this and why?

Personally, I agree there should be a formal apology and recognition of the harm done. Britain was involved in the perpetuation of the slave trade, as well as being involved in its abolition. An acknowledgement and apology for past wrongs would be a way of showing respect and our moral beliefs as a society.

Reparations in the form of cash…here I am unsure, and for the following reasons.

1. Given the time that has passed, it’s likely to be impossible to accurately track down the family members of those individuals who were trafficked. So who would reparations go to? Countries instead of individuals? Is that fair?
2. Again, given the time that has passed, who should pay for the reparations and how? If funds were raised through general taxation, that feels unfair on the current British population who were not involved. If we try to target those prominent families who made millions and millions….would those assets ever get seized or would they all swiftly disappear into offshore accounts never to be seen again. Would it be possible to seize money from those who had directly profited?
3. Given the cost of living crisis in the uk (whilst not to be compared with poverty experienced in the Caribbean) and what feels like deteriorating race-relations, I worry how a programme of reparations would affect UK society as a whole and if racism would worsen or more extreme right wing governments would be voted in.
4. I can see a case for reparations as Germany has done to survivors and victims families of the Holocaust. Survivors and victim’s immediate families who were materially affected are still living. This makes sense to me. But how many generations on should reparations be relevant? The last living survivors of slavery died nearly 100 years ago. I do believe that their descendants are impacted by the legacy of slavery, but they themselves were not enslaved and nor were their immediate family (spouse/parent).
5. In terms of lost wages for work/compensation for what happened, if that had been given to the affected individuals at the moment slavery had been abolished, how much of that would have actually come to the descendants living today? The majority of people around the world and throughout history have lived hand-to-mouth, not building up big inheritances for the next generation. How do you value the reparations?

I don’t support reparations in any form other than money / cancelling debt as I do agree that it would be disrespectful for Britain (or any of the other countries who were involved in the slave trade) to decide the form of reparations given when money is what is being asked for.

In case it’s relevant: I’m white British/Irish from a historically very poor background. My family never even owned property until 50 years ago so I can’t imagine any of them ever owned slaves or profited from investments in businesses that used slave labour. We never had anything material to pass down the generations bar the odd photograph and wedding ring. All of this has of course impacted on my views.

My family have started calling DD Floater and I really don’t like it. It started at a family lunch a few weeks ago when she was playing with one of those little inflatable rings and my brother called her it as a joke. Now it’s stuck and everyone seems to think it’s hilarious.

My family have always had daft nicknames for each other tbf. I’ve got one my brother still calls me which I’ve never liked, but it’s just what he’s always called me. This feels different though because she’s only little and I don’t want it turning into something people say about her when she’s older.

My brother says it doesn’t mean anything and keeps going “where’s our little Floater then” whenever he sees her. My mum and sister have started saying it too now. I know they aren’t trying to be nasty but it just sounds like they’re taking the piss out of her appearance to me. She’s got quite chubby cheeks at the moment and I can imagine other kids picking up on it when she starts school.

At the weekend we were all at my mum’s for lunch and he said it about four times. I asked him to stop calling her that and he just laughed and said I was being ridiculous. My mum then said I was being precious and that DD won’t even remember it. I felt a bit stupid because everyone was looking at me like I’d made a massive deal out of nothing.

DP thinks I’m overthinking it as well. He says she’s too young to understand what it means and it’ll probably just stop being used eventually. I said that’s not really the point though, I don’t want it becoming her nickname in the first place. He thinks I’m making it into something it isn’t.

I’m not against nicknames generally, we call her Flo most of the time anyway and she has a few other little ones that are just cute things she’s done. I just don’t like this one and don’t think it’s particularly nice.

My sister messaged me afterwards saying I should just let it go because it’s affectionate and nobody means anything by it. I haven’t replied yet because I don’t really know what to say without sounding like I’m having a go at everyone.

AIBU to ask them to stop calling her it? Would you actually mind this or am I being a bit precious?

Looking at buying this pouch are they worth it?

www.fortnumandmason.com/es-exclusive-2026-christmas-fortnums-finery-everyday-pouch

Well it's here....

https://www.johnlewis.com/content/christmas-advert

And I hate those bratty kids already LOL 😂😂😂

Hi all. I'm just caretaking until Reastie returns, but here's our new thread. Please do use up the old one first though.

This is intended as a friendly, kind, safe, warm and fuzzy place for people to share discounts, bargains and Christmas gift ideas both online and IRL. Please note the tone and intention of the thread and join with spirit as generous as DC helping themselves to the Christmas chocolate celebrations

Here’s some useful information about how to save the thread or a specific post so you don’t need to have a message to check in for every thread so you have the thread saved:

To watch the thread - click on the little bell that has ‘watch’ under my first message. This adds the whole thread to your ‘watched threads’

You can also bookmark a specific post by clicking on the ‘bookmark’ under the specific post. This saves your exact place in a thread but doesn’t alert you to new replies.

If you have any referral links or codes, please share them on the referral thread here:

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/christmas/5444936-bargain-referrals-thread-8

A reminder that we don't use affiliated links on here please

🎄 Emoji to copy if required for posting bargains as some agree this makes deals easier to spot. (or post in bold)

I think this may be my first ever post... I'm wondering if anyone else is feeling absolute dread at the state of the job market, at local, national and global levels?

In South Wales, you have Legal & General (1000 jobs), Admiral (500 jobs) and I'm sure I've seen posts from employees at Principality Building Society too. You then have the big Welsh universities who have been through multiple iterations recently.

More broadly, you have Canva announcing this week a 22% reduction in their global workforce which includes many UK employees. Microsoft reducing 60k global workforce, and Virgin Media 02 also announcing cuts this week. And I'm sure many many more across the UK that I've not yet heard of.

I worry about so many people entering the job market at a really difficult time, where the job market is already so tough when competing against AI screening tools, and now lots and lots of talented people are all looking for the same few jobs available.

When I mention this to my peers they all seem non-plused and that I am worrying about nothing. Am I over reacting?!

I'm generally very sensitive to smells but my partner has always had an agreeable scent.

In the last few months however, I've increasingly noticed a change in his body scent. Something sharp. No changes in deodorant, soaps, shower gels, washing powder. He doesn't wear cologne.

I'm 50s, peri menopause, on HRT.

Is this me? Or is it him? Has anyone else experienced this? Do you know why? TIA.

Its a long story which I will keep brief. I'm a 54 year old female.
I divorced my now ex-husband in 2009, We had 3 children together. At the time their ages were 15 (Boy) 12 (Girl) and 9 (Girl).
I have since been happily remarried since 2012.
For the last 9 years I have been estranged from my eldest daughter who is now 29. She refuses any contact with me. When I last saw her she was 20 and our meeting was very strained. She afterwards denied me any contact- this was based on the fact that a) she doesnt like my new husband and b) the fact that her younger sister, now 26, has (through her own choice) had no contact with her father since she was 9.

My eldest daughter now lives and works abroad and has done so for 9 years, and has no intention of returning to the UK / living back here, other than returning for short visits to visit her Father.
She also has had a very strained relationship with her younger sister and they barely have spoken over the last 5 years or so. But she has just messaged my youngest daughter (who lives with me) telling her she is pregnant.
She is apparently very happy which is good to hear but I am concerned about her and just want to be there for her during her pregnancy. But I made her a promise 9 years ago to not make contact and to respect her boundaries as she said that was important. Not only have I done this but I also have no way of contacting her as she has changed her number, blocked me from all social media and I dont have her address or email. So I have not made any contact with her for 9 years now. On discussing with my younger daughter she said that the older one would not have let her know about the pregnancy without her accepting that I am going to find out from her. So I am in two minds whether to contact her and send her a message using the phone number for her which my youngest daughter now has. I want to let her know I am thinking of her and wish her all the best for her pregnancy with no strings attached and no expectations - but if I contact her I feel I am breaking the boundary which I promised and have stuck to all this time. so I really dont know what to do.
I have a very fractured and extremely poor relationship with her Dad (whom she is still very close to) and short of asking him what to do or what she would want - which to be honest I dont want to do as would rather keep him out of it - then I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. I'd really appreciate peoples thoughts ideas etc.

I have always loved a miniskirt and have noticed a few in the shops this year. I sort of stopped wearing them because of the trend towards midi skirts and looser cuts but would love to get back to it. I am 48, size 12 and round in the middle but with decent legs.

Any tips on styling them in a way that doesn’t look try-hard, unflattering or like I still think it’s 1999 (and I’m 21 again!)

Here is the one I’ve got me eye on: www.johnlewis.com/jigsaw-baby-corduroy-mini-skirt/burgundy/p116026421

I'm really struggling with ideas this yr

I am so so worried because the cheap Clear & Simple tests are not progressing for about 4 days already, about 14 dpo, but the other Asda test that i did yesterday and today, and Clearblue pink dye tests show very clear progress, don't know what to think; please help🥺🥺🥺

1. A penny farthing sitting on a landing of a mansion.

2. Lots of tiny feathers on the stairs of someone's house who didn't own a bird and in the same house I think they had a secret lodger as every time I went to the loo I heard footsteps run from one room to the next upstairs. I never mentioned either!

If you've been, was it worth it? We'd be travelling from Cornwall, and there's 8 of us. My husband has suggested it as he gets home from working abroad just before Christmas so we can pick him up and we've never been before.
I have 1 child that really enjoys rides, the others aren't really on to them.

If not Wonderland then what activities have you done that you would highly recommend?

My DIP has been declined to port mortgage and I am in the process of writing an appeal which I was encouraged to do, because of an August 2026 default of £71 that I had no idea about from a previous property. My mortgage is fixed 2.59% for the next 5.5 years.

The points I've included in my appeal:

• Proof the debt has been cleared
• Never missed a mortgage payment
• Had this mortgage 4 years, overpaid £600 monthly for the last 2 years
• Have an income to mortgage ratio of 1.25
• I want to reduce borrowing from 140 to 110/100
• Want to reduce term from 18 years to 9 or 10
• I have good credit: 683 clearscore and 610 transunion
• Never defaulted on a credit card or paid late

I can't believe my dream is being taken from me over a £71 missed payment I had no idea about. It has taken 7 months to sell my house for nowhere near what I wanted and now this.

I am waiting on the appeal outcome.

I am going to use Nottingham's Life Happens mortgage as a last resort but it will add additional expense.

I am so upset....do you guys think the underwriter may overturn the appeal? It's £71 fucking pounds and I just paid it!!!!

I am giving this a lot of thought at the minute. My daughter is being bullied in school (lots of seperate incidents involving different kids) and she was at primary too. I am trying to figure out why it keeps happening and even being really critical of her own behaviour/ contribution to the situations I can't help reach the conclusion that there is something about her that just makes her one of these kids that bullies target (possible neurodivergence so I can see that, objectively, she doesn't read social situations very well, can come across as annoying, and is sensitive so reacts to meanness).

Do you think this exists? That some people just find themselves continually being victims of bullying/ meanness?

I am part of a group of about 10. (Hobby)
One member of the group is having a very extravagant party at her villa in St Tropez in April next year. She has just sent out a ‘save the date’
i am on friendly terms with the group. No falling out. I am particularly close to one person who I would call a friend. Not much in common with the others apart from the hobby.
But I really don’t want to go to this two day party.
I just really don’t want to spend money on a holiday with people I have little in common with.
I cannot think of any plans I could have that would be that far in advance.
WWYD?

I’m 8 months PP and when I try and remember my birth it honestly feels like a drunken memory. It must’ve hurt because I was induced at 7:00pm and by 2:00am I was begging for epidural and I just remember waiting for the 20 mins for it to work feeling like hell. My husband said the midwife and him said I was acting psychotic haha!

I started to push at 10:00. He was born at 10:30 and I do remember that but there was NO pain because of epidural .

But at the same time I don’t remember the pain on the whole? Going to the hospital I remember feeling painful contractions but I was barely 2cm dilated (they induced me because I had sky high blood pressure when getting checked out

This happened last xmas but it's been brought up again due to everyone making xmas plans i think.

Mil stayed with us last year and she got the kids lots of presents that needed batteries. Which she didn't get before hand or prewarn us that we needed them.

On xmas morning she noticed my bag of batteries I got for xmas and went to put them into the toys she got. I said no they were for the toys santa got ( they were brought for this reason and cost £££)
I told her she can use any left over and I will buy more when I can. She wasn't happy to say the least and then asked the kids which toys they wanted batteries in first ( they said santa which i already knew)
I was annoyed as

1. They cost £££
2. I wanted to see my children play with the toys I got
3. She couldve said before hand or got some herself

Basically as the title reads. Im so tired of this now.
Started with Kevin the carrot toys really, I remember battling queues just to get one toy.
What has made me angry today is seeing Asda christmas shelves empty of all the Home Alone items and disney ornaments. Just wanted 1 item and people buying ten of each. Checked vinted and yes I was right. A 4 quid decoration double the price.
Its really unfair for those of us who just want one thing and to find people bulk buying them.
Grrrrr. Im just miffed.

Me and DH have been married for 5 years, together for 12. We have 5 children between us. I will try to make this as simple as possible whilst including all the relevant information.

I have three children from previous relationships. He has one child from a previous relationship. We have one child together.

DD1 : her dad is involved and she will probably get a small inheritance from him. She was older when I got with my DH and doesn't really view him as a father figure

Dd2 & dd3 : they have the same dad (not my DH) he is not involved, is in prison and they won't get any inheritance from him. They were young when I got with my DH and they think of him as their Dad.

DHs daughter : her Mam is involved and she will get inheritance from her (not a massive inheritance but likely to be bigger than DD1s inheritance from her father)

DD4 : mine and DHs daughter together.

How do we make our will fair? Would you just split it 5 ways or do we make allowances for the fact dd2, 3 and 4 won't have any inheritance from anyone else but DD1 and SD will?

Do we split our inheritance in two (mine and his) and then split it between our children? So mine would be split 4 ways and his 2?

Hopefully this won't be an issue for a long time yet but I don't want to leave things until we're old and the kids will all want to have their own opinions.

Any advice welcome

My hairdresser keeps giving me a lady bob. I really like her but it’s like she sees my age (53) and that’s what she feels I should have. Think page boy style. I probably need to move hairdressers. But what should I be asking for? Something cooler/younger? How can I describe it?