What can I do to overturn a school decision - quickly? It is regarding mobile phones. The school has introduced a no phones at school policy. If a teacher is on a journey home and sees a child on a phone, they will “chase them down the street and snatch it out of their hand” as it shows they had a phone in school.

There was a horrible and frightening incident fairly near school today. So whilst school were busying themself with catching children out for taking a blazer off at a bus stop or using a phone after school, my child was involved in something bloody terrifying. I’ve been up half the night. It should involve the police, but we are not going down that road and time would have been of the essence anyway. My husband was driving about a minute away from her at the time, happily oblivious. I’m shaken up, but also feel in an impossible situation.

This occurred close to school, with a couple of friends, in daylight with people nearby. Her journey also includes much larger elements where she’s on her own and secluded. I’m really fucking angry and revolted too (huge understatement) that the school have the power to dictate the removal of a tool for use outside of school, compromising my child’s safety.

As a bare minimum, I want a brick phone allowed in school - turned off, handed in, confiscated if used or seen - I don’t care. I want them to find a way that the other 97% of schools do, so that my child has access to a phone, even if it’s just a brick phone, should she need it out of school.

They have lots of draconian rules, appear very rigid and authoritarian. I can grit my teeth on those. I cannot grit my teeth on this one. It’s a very large academy, gives the impression so far that “we are always right and totally trustworthy” and others will have it wrong or lie. Please help. How best to approach a school that seems terrified of giving an inch, (whilst it simultaneously encroaches the fuck and takes miles) to get an outcome that will make my child safer out of school.

If you’ve read this far, please help. I also believe from what I’ve seen so far that if I raise this, the school will frequently check my daughter’s bag. I am willing to now break the rules on this, but obviously can’t keep replacing mobiles and she shouldn’t have to be punished by school for it either.

And by neighbour I mean lady in my building two floors above me. Who says hi and stops to make small talk/chat with me sometimes.

I answer phone call at 8:30 am because I think it’s an emergency.

she starts telling me how she’s under a lot of stress right now because she lost her keys?

I ask if she wants me to let her in building, she says no, she’s in her flat, she had spare key to her flat and someone let her in building.

and asks me if Tesco does copies? (Tesco is like 3 minutes away by bus) And where she can get replacement?

I tell her council does replacements as it’s a council building. she then asks how to contact council to get replacement.

She knows I rent privately in this building from private landlord so don’t have contact with council and been living here much, much less than she did? So how would I know?

she lived in building 16 years, how does she not know how to contact the council about lost keys?

and what does she expect me to do?

Or was she expecting me to offer one of our keys while she waits for council key replacement??

She keeps ranting and complaining about how she’s so annoyed.

She has a close couple friend living in the building. They always hang out together.

why not call and tell them this?

she also has a daughter and two 18 year old grandkids who she says are super close to her living nearby.

she told me she has so many friends. Why contact me this early out of all people??

sometime ago I remember she knocked on January 1st on my door asking if my daughter can help connect her to/figure out her problem with her tv. I barely knew her then.

another time she kept complaining how she has no heating nearly all winter and doesn’t know how to complain to the council repair team. And asked if I knew how to. When she asked I suggested she ask her daughter for help she said “oh I don’t want to bother people, they have their own lives and problems” .

but calling at 8:30 on Saturday is bit ridiculous no?

Ballerinas are supposedly in again. I have these shoes from around 2010-2013, are they wearable again? I have them in a few colours, I used to find them very comfortable. I know I can wear what I want but I want to be vaguely fashionable. Are they fashionable again or can you clearly see that they are 15 year old shoes?

The foundations are being laid for more tax rises in the October Budget.

https://www.ft.com/content/6d43b599-3d7c-471c-88c2-0f056475a840?syn-25a6b1a6=1

AIBU to ask for savings in spending to help balance the budget rather than more taxes.

With welfare spending at nearly £1bn each day, when is enough, enough?

Hello…

Please help a completely unfashionable & unstylish mum who lives in trainers here… my daughter has just started sixth form and the dress code is “business wear”… we’re ok for suit/jackets etc. but where on earth can you buy nice shoes to wear with a skirt these days? She’s usually mooching around barefoot or in wellies or trainers and possibly the result is she has biggish and quite wide feet (7-7.5) so the current pointy styles look a bit huge . She’s also very self conscious of having “strong” calves so wants heels not flats (flats would be so much easier ).

Also she will be travelling by bus and train so they need to be fairly practical…and comfy!

Can anyone please help us find the shoe that fits magical combination of requirements?!

Hi all

My son recently turned 14 and is in year 10. For his birthday his dad offered to buy him a ps5. I am not with the dad for context so it would be in my home and have to be managed by me.

I have had issues with screen time with my older son and excessive gaming. He is doing extremely well in school but I worry that the ps5 will be a big distraction and another tension point managing it. He also spends alot of money on gaming. He gets pocket money but always relies on me to buy him what he needs and keeps his money for games and gaming products.

I suggested to his dad that he should buy him a new bike instead. His current bike is very unreliable and he uses it daily to get to school and back. I worry that it might affect his body pedalling an old unwieldy bike so a brand new one would be better for his body.

His dad agreed and now my ds is very upset with me. I did suggest to the dad to keep the ps5 at his house but he ignored that suggestion and instead quickly agreed that a bike would be better.

Was I being unreasonable to interfere?

I have just entered the unexpected world of pain that is helping my daughter to buy a bag for uni. It needs to hold laptop, water bottle etc. I had no idea that backpacks are totally out and that girls seem to be carrying very expensive designer totes? Is this true? Help!

I’ve recently separated from my child’s father and have discovered messages which appear to show repeated cocaine use/planning over roughly the last three years, including while I was pregnant and continuing up until last month.
I don’t have evidence that he was using cocaine while actually caring for our child, but some of the messages suggest he was deliberately arranging to use it when me and our child were away. There are also messages about using it in our family home, including references to preparing it on a plate and putting the plate in the microwave.
There are also separate recent messages showing an intention to smoke cannabis.
I have now raised a safeguarding concern with nursery. They have had to inform social services. Nursery have explained that because he still has parental responsibility they cannot simply stop him collecting our child, although they can contact me if he attempts to do so.
Because of this, I currently don’t feel able to send my child into nursery while I’m trying to get urgent legal advice, as I’m worried he could collect him.
I have spoken to a solicitor / am seeking urgent legal advice about what I should do next.
I’m not looking to stop my child having a relationship with his father unnecessarily, but I am extremely concerned about the concealed drug use and the fact it appears to have gone on for such a long period without my knowledge.
For anyone who has experience of family court or similar circumstances, what is realistically likely to happen with contact?
Would a court be likely to order things such as drug testing, supervised contact or daytime-only contact initially, or is it more likely that normal unsupervised/overnight contact would continue unless there is evidence he used while actually looking after the child?
I’m especially interested in hearing from anyone who has been through something similar.

I am in a fairly newish relationship. Both been married before and divorced. His more recent than mine but still a decent amount of time.

We’ve spoken in general terms re what went wrong in marriages, for me lack of intimacy and some other things and he has said similar issues. I don’t mind talking in general terms as I think it’s good to get an idea of whether we would be compatible and what the other person is looking for in a relationship…

However I feel like sometimes he goes into too much detail regarding intimate things with ex-wife. Like I am aware of positions, frequency… he even managed to drop in that the first time he told her he loved her was during sex. I would say this was a little my fault as I was telling what I thought was a funny story after a good friend contacted me to say her new man had done that (said I love you during sex) and she was taken aback and didn’t know what to do and felt awkward.

But this was after already having a conversation with him about the level of detail he is giving me re the past sex life with her.

I completely accept he had a life before me, loved, had sex etc. but I just don’t feel comfortable with the level of detail about intimacy and I feel it’s putting a dampener on things as I am trying to make my own memories and special moments with him and I don’t want these images in my head to compare!

We are exclusive and both have said we have feelings for each other but no I love yous yet.

Not sure if I am being jealous and insecure or if it’s a red flag from him but I do feel uncomfortable. Any advice appreciated.

Thanks so much to @Sideorderofchips for keeping things going. I can barely believe it's September and (for me at least!) that only means one thing - Christmas can start!!!!

Hope you've all had a great year and have missed you all. Last couple of years I've had various health things going on so have been a bit distant from the threads. Not quite there yet but feeling stronger than this time last year and I can't wait until I see more festive items in the shops! I've already bought my advent calendar - I've got the taskmaster one (which I'm quite excited about!).

I'll post various links etc in the next thread first post but essentailly you guys know the drill - share and be nice or leave.

<waves to everyone>

DD’s school has completely banned phones for all incoming Y7 pupils and this will last for the entirety of their time at the school going toward. Existing pupils are still allowed to bring phones in but have to keep to the old rule (if they are seen or heard they are confiscated for 20 days).

DD is Y9 so she will be able to follow the old rule but DS, who starts secondary next year, will not be able to take one in. I honestly feel a massive sense of relief. He doesn’t have a phone at the moment and I was planning to get him an old style Nokia as he isn’t bothered about tech or latest phones. However I was a bit worried that he’d feel left if all his friends had iPhones etc. The school seems pretty serious about it all, all pupils and parents have to sign an agreement and any child caught with a phone will be excluded - no questions asked. The mother of DS’ best friend has now decided she will not send her DS to the school as originally planned as she thinks the ban is reckless and dangerous?! AIBU to think the ban is fine and makes complete sense plus millions of children managed to get to and from school safely without phones a generation ago!

After the break down of my relationship I am spending Christmas Day alone. It is partly by choice, I do have lovely family and friends that would be happy to host me but due to some other commitments I have it’s not worth the faff. I’m a bit worried on the day it will hit me that I’m alone on my favourite day of the year so looking for recommendations on how to make it feel special and indulgent. I would have gone away but have work either side so can’t make it work. Suggestions welcome

Welcome to Thread 6 🥳

A huge thank you to @OvaHere, @JoRaRaRa and @Thelifeofawife
for the previous threads, and to everyone who had been sharing spoilers, information. links, bargains, discount codes and enabling each other over the first 5 threads. ❤️

As agreed, we're taking it in turns to start each new thread this year. If this thread starts getting close to the reply limit, please post to let everyone know you're happy to start the next one so we can avoid duplicate threads.

🎅 A few festive housekeeping notes;
🎁 This thread contains spoilers.
🎄 Please be kind and respectful to one another.
💸 No judging anyone for their purchasing choices (or how many calendars they buy... we're all enablers here! 😂).
🎀 Feel free to share spoilers, offers, discount codes, GWPs, delivery updates and stock alerts.

Disclaimer/Pathetic excuse from Pond!

Apologies in advance for any mistakes or broken links, which are down to me and not the previous authors!

Thread 5 is almost full so I have done this very quickly, mostly just adding to the good work that has gone before!

🎁 Available Now:

Boots launch 01/09 for waitlist then 2/09 for general sale
www.boots.com/christmas/advent-calendars/advent-calendar-waiting-list
Luxe £150
beauty-detective.com/boots-beauty-advent-calendar-2026/
Scent £90
beauty-detective.com/boots-12-days-of-scent-advent-calendar-2026/
Skin £70
beauty-detective.com/boots-24-days-of-skin-advent-calendar-2026/

Liberty – £285 (Beauty Drop members receive £25 off). Full contents revealed. Beauty Drop member pre order has closed and those advents are being dispatched. The advent will go on general sale soon (BD members still qualify for the discount during the general sale)
www.libertylondon.com/uk/features/beauty/beauty-advent-calendar#
Unboxing
P. Louise – £250. Available to pre-order with payment instalments available.
^https://plouise.co.uk/collections/wonderful-world-of-p-louise-advent-calendar/products/what-glows-around-2026-advent-calendar^

John Lewis – £250. Available on pre-sale via the app for MyJL members.
^https://beauty-detective.com/john-lewis-beauty-advent-calendar-2026/^

Harrods Beauty Advent Calendar – £270. Now on sale online and in-store
^https://www.harrods.com/en-gb/p/harrods-of-london-the-harrods-beauty-advent-calendar-2026-000000000000284475^

Harrods 12 Days of Hair & Body – £99. Now on sale online and in-store
^https://www.harrods.com/en-gb/p/harrods-of-london-the-harrods-12-days-of-hair-and-body-advent-calendar-2026-000000000000284465^

Harrods Fragrance Advent Calendar – £225. Pre-sale sold out. Went on sale in-store 1/9.
^https://beauty-detective.com/harrods-fragrance-advent-calendar-2026/^

Vogue Festive Calendar – £355. Available to pre-order
^https://shop.vogue.co.uk/products/vogue-festive-calendar-2026^

Fortnum & Mason Beauty Advent Calendar - £275. Available now
^https://www.fortnumandmason.com/fortnums-beauty-advent-calendar-2026^

Fenwick 25 day beauty advent calendar - £250. Available now
https://fenwick.co.uk/products/fenwick-fenwick-beauty-25-day-advent-calendar-2026

Anthropologie 24 Day Beauty Advent Calendar – £98. Available now
^https://www.anthropologie.com/en-gb/shop/24-days-of-beauty-advent-calendar5^

The Fragrance Shop - Available for pre-order £120 members, £150 non-members
Women's Advent Calendar
^https://www.thefragranceshop.co.uk/the-fragrance-shop/the-fragrance-shop/gift-box-advent/p/76306^
Men's Advent Calendar ^https://www.thefragranceshop.co.uk/the-fragrance-shop/the-fragrance-shop/gift-box-advent/p/76307^

Selfridges
Beauty & Fragrance £250. Went on sale 1/9, but appears to be ‘sold out’ at present.

^https://beauty-detective.com/selfridges-beauty-advent-calendar-2026/^

Elle £197 or £187 if you joined the waitlist
^https://beauty-detective.com/elle-advent-calendar-2026/^

LookFantastic Beauty. Available for pre-order:

https://www.lookfantastic.com/p/beauty-box/the-beauty-advent-calendar-worth-over-665/17691363/

LookFantastic Fragrance. Available for pre-order:

https://www.lookfantastic.com/p/beauty-box/the-fragrance-advent-calendar-worth-over-530/17691405/

Glossybox. £90 or £75 for subscribers. Code: KAREN5 may give £5 off the £90. Available now:

https://www.glossybox.co.uk/p/beauty-box/glossybox-2026-advent-calendar-worth-over-645/17691528/

OK Beauty Box advent/Hannah Martin. Available now £109:

https://www.okbeautybox.co.uk/products/the-ok-beauty-box-advent-calendar?srsltid=AfmBOoppTH5x1vrf3PT8oCWpKiUj111T5PdA8IBPKCjA9SYOpugUFCBJ

⏳ Coming Soon / Waitlists
Cult Beauty £245 - £20 gift voucher back when buying at launch 03/09 early access.
^https://www.cultbeauty.co.uk/c/advent-calendar/^

Harvey Nichols
Due to the recent takeover, it’s unclear if these a/cs are still going ahead for 2026. Details TBC.
Beauty:
^https://www.harveynichols.com/harvey-nichols/harvey-nichols-beauty-advent-calendar-2026-75896-258491/^

Fragrance:
^https://www.harveynichols.com/harvey-nichols/harvey-nichols-12-days-of-fragrance-advent-calendar-2026-75906-258490/^

John Lewis Fragrance £99 - appeared briefly for sale 1/9 online but this seems to have been a glitch.
^https://beauty-detective.com/john-lewis-fragrance-advent-calendar-2026/^

Space NK £275
^https://www.spacenk.com/uk/gifts/beauty-advent-calendars/beauty-advent-calendar-MUK200063764.html^
Unboxing video

Sephora UK
Spoilers:
^https://beauty-detective.com/sephora-uk-advent-calendar-2026/^
Waitlist: ^https://www.sephora.co.uk/c/beauty-advent-calendar-waitlist^

Fragrance - current thinking is that this will cost £225 and launch around 30/9-1/10
^https://beauty-detective.com/selfridges-fragrance-advent-calendar-2026/^

Next £150 launching 3/9:

^https://beauty-detective.com/next-beauty-advent-calendar-2026^/

Debenhams £120
^https://www.debenhams.com/pages/beauty-advent-calendar^

PURESEOUL £140 (first year they are doing an advent)
beauty-detective.com/pureseoul-advent-calendar-2026/

Jo Malone Waitlist:

www.jomalone.co.uk/advent-calendar-signup?

Jo Loves Waitlist:

https://www.joloves.com/pages/a-jo-loves-advent-calendar?

💄 More Calendars & Spoilers
Rather than making the opening post a mile long, here's a brilliant roundup of lots more advent calendars and the latest spoilers, including Charlotte Tilbury, Elemis, Lancôme, Tatcha, NEOM, Neal's Yard Remedies, Holland & Barrett, YesStyle and many more as they're announced.
👉 ^https://beauty-detective.com/category/beauty-advent-calendars^/ 👈

So many weird threads from this returning troll. I just cannot understand what they get out of it

My husband is getting increasingly upset about his parents’ relationship with our five-year-old son, and I’m struggling a bit with my own feelings about it too.

They’re both in their early 60s, retired a few years earlier than planned and live about a 15-minute walk from us. They have active social lives, regularly see my husband’s sibling and their partner, go out with friends etc.

But over the whole school summer holiday they have seen our son once. That was because my husband arranged it and took them and our son to the seaside for the day.

They spoke on the phone the other day and his parents said they felt guilty that they hadn’t really seen him over the holidays. But when my husband raised this more generally a few months ago, the conversation seemed to end with the feeling that he perhaps doesn’t facilitate the relationship enough.

There is a bit of history too. Before our son started nursery, they were very keen to look after him on a particular day each week when I returned to work. Then about a week before I went back, they said they couldn’t always do it after all because FIL might sometimes have to work and MIL didn’t feel she could manage our son on her own. It was stressful at the time, although obviously people are allowed to realise that something is more difficult than they expected.

They also talk quite a lot about getting older, needing to slow down and finding things tiring. I’ve known them for 17 years and retirement has always been something they really looked forward to. They’re very much people who like a quiet life and like to get things organised well in advance, birthday presents might arrive two months early, they can be in their pyjamas by mid-afternoon etc - it's always 'get it out of the way'.

I genuinely don’t think they owe us childcare or should have to spend their retirement in any particular way. I think what I struggle with is that they still make time for friends, outings and other family, so I sometimes find it difficult to understand why seeing our son seems to require my husband to organise everything.

Childcare isn’t really the issue. My own parents have been a huge help over the holidays and our son is happy going to holiday club. My husband is just genuinely sad that his parents seem to be missing out on time with him, and he feels angry and disappointed as well.

He now feels the only thing he can really do is make more effort to arrange things. I do understand that, because our son likes seeing them and you can’t control how other people behave.

But I’m finding myself feeling resentful on my husband’s behalf. I don’t really want him to spend years feeling responsible for creating a relationship that his parents also have the ability to contribute to.

I also know I’m not completely neutral here. I sometimes find his parents difficult company, so I’m conscious that may affect how I see things. I don’t want to make the situation worse or encourage my husband to fall out with them.

I think what I’m really asking is how you accept that people may not be the grandparents you hoped they would be, without becoming resentful about it.

AIBU to feel this way? And is it reasonable for my husband to keep facilitating contact, while also leaving some responsibility with them to make the effort too?

We moved into our house just before Christmas last year. We are one of 6 houses on a lane in an u shape and our house is directly opposite one of the other houses. All of the houses are set back so we are not close to the houses opposite.

When we moved in last year, we put up lights on our house and in two of our trees at the front of our house as well as 2 nutcrackers and a Christmas wreath on the door. Nothing garish, just white lights. Every time we saw the neighbours opposite they would comment on the lights and decorations. They said things like that’s is a lot of lights, did you leave any in the shop for anyone else, we certainly can’t miss you etc. We took the lights down in January.

This is now our first autumn in the house and my husband has put up some lights along the front of the house, a garland around the front door and a wreath on the door. We went out for the evening and have come home to a note from the neighbour opposite which said she doesn’t like the lights, none of the past neighbours have ever put them up and that the lights will give her migraines like the ones we put up at Christmas did. She would like us to remove the lights.

How do we respond to this? My husband thinks we just ignore it but I said she will talk to us when we see her if we don’t go over and talk to her about it. He said he’ll tell her not to look at the lights. What would you say? We obviously plan to put the lights up for Christmas again this year so that isn’t going to go down well either.

We know she has moaned about other things to some of the other neighbours like their grandchildren playing outside on their bikes so she seems to be a moaner.

Edited by MNHQ to add a Cancel The Cheque Klaxon: this thread has moved on quite a lot so it's worth reading through all the OP's posts before replying

I had to go to the local shopping centre the other day to pick up a click and collect for my husband, new work shirts so nothing fancy! I thought why not make an afternoon of it as I rarely go shopping and I could maybe get a coffee and cake and even treat myself to a little something as my birthday is coming up.

I loved some of the clothes in places like monsoon and seasalt but it was all way too expensive dresses were £80 to £100 or more same with skirts which seemed to start at £65 and I know that isn't even considered expensive today but for me it is! I went for a look in the sephora as I love skincare but again it was all really expensive. The queue for the till was full of school girls buying things I wouldn't be able to buy for myself!

To be fair they were probably there spending birthday money and probably aren't spending money like that all the time. I suppose it just feels like the goal posts on these admittedly luxury items have been moved since I was in my teens and early 20's when I imagined that by my 40's I'd be able to at least buy some of these things or buy nice clothes now and then. My husband and I both degree and post graduate educated and work in professional jobs but we have to prioritise bills, the kids and food over luxuries. To be fair we have no debt at all and we will save for an buy large purchases cash mostly but I admit to feeling a bit personally deprived at times! When my mum was my age she worked in a call centre part time in the evenings and would go round the shops most weekend and buy herself a new top or other item of clothes and exclusively used clarins skincare, I use the ordinary, cerave or boots and superdrug own brand mostly and my clothes come from charity shops. My parents were working class made good but their disposable income seemed to go a lot further than mine does. We don't even have a large mortgage.

DH and I recently looked at taking a short trip to London as a joint birthday present to each other but the cost was so expensive we seem to have quietly shelved the idea.

In the end I had a look in waterstones but even that was expensive, since when are paperbacks routinely £14.99! I never even had a coffee or bit of cake as the selection of cakes looked dry and unappetizing but would still have cost £10 in total.

Am I being unreasonable to think the cost of a middle class lifestyle with a few luxuries has had the goalposts moved by quite some amount?

For anyone who is still offering messages of hope, wisdom and general loveliness 🥰

I’ve fallen in love with my boss. We are both 28. He’s not technically my line manager, but he’s one of two team leaders, so there is obviously still a work dynamic there.

I’ve genuinely never felt like this about anyone before. We’ve grown really close over the last few months and hang out outside of work sometimes, just the two of us. Nothing has actually happened and it’s all been platonic, but I feel like there is something between us.

I think he likes me too, but obviously I can’t know for sure.

There have been enough moments/signs that make me think I’m not imagining it, but I also know when you really like someone you can read into things.

My feeling is that if it is mutual, we’ve both probably avoided actually doing anything about it because 1) we work together, 2) he’s in a more senior position, and 3) neither of us wants to risk rejection and then have to see each other at work afterwards.

Which brings me to the problem.

I’ve been offered a job in Australia, starting in the New Year.

If he wasn’t in the picture, this would already be a huge life decision, but now I feel completely torn.

Part of me thinks I should just take the opportunity, go to Australia and accept that the timing with him was wrong. I also know that realistically pursuing something while I’m still working with him could get complicated.

But I keep imagining myself sitting on the flight wondering whether I’ve just walked away from someone I could have had something really special with because neither of us was brave enough to say anything. As I said earlier, I’ve literally never felt this way before.

At the same time, the idea of confessing how I feel terrifies me. If I’ve completely misread him, I’ve potentially made our friendship and working relationship awkward right before I leave.

Would you tell him before deciding?

My DH is a twin. His twin has never really stood on his own two feet when it comes to family—never hosts meals, always expects to be invited for Christmas, etc. His twin is married with his own children, but for some reason the family infantilise him. A major bugbear of mine is birthdays—it’s always down to me and DH to host their birthday meal for the family (we invite PILs, siblings, etc). And of course, because the twin literally shares DH’s birthday, we can’t not invite him, or exclude him, so it obviously becomes “his” birthday party too. We did a bigger one for their last milestone birthday, and I had a barrage of emails from the twin’s DW about what kind of cake I should procure (to cater to the twin’s tastes), and who I could delegate to—“MIL can bring x.” There was no offer to help—just orders of what I/MIL should be doing. Their next milestone birthday is next month, and years of this entitled behaviour re: Christmas, etc, have been gradually been building up. I’m ready to explode—this milestone birthday is going to be the straw that breaks the camel’s back. The twin asked my DH what “we” are doing for their birthday, and DH suggested it was his turn. His twin said that he/his DW can’t possibly host it, as their house isn’t as big as ours. Not doing something to celebrate with DH’s family is not an option. Neither is not inviting the twin and his DW/DC. Neither is going out somewhere, as the expectation will be that we fund the entire thing, as his twin is too much of a tight arse to pay for anything.

I want to burn it all down, but it is not my family. If it were my family, I’d be very forthright, so I’m trying my best to balance DH’s wishes not to throw a grenade into his family with my own wishes to tell his brother to fuck off and never come to my home again.

One of these events is happening very close to me next week. Has anyone ever been to one, I’m not sure what to expect? If it’s a genuine sample sale I expect the sizing will be very small and therefore a bit useless for me. There used to be an outlet store in York but apparently it’s gone now so I wondered if it’s also going to be a genuinely good sale of general older stock. I only have one MH item which I love and is about ten years old so would be interested in going to the sale, just not sure if it might be a waste of time.

Any advice very welcome and am prepared to be flamed! We have a holiday let in Norfolk near Cromer, quite a long way from where we live. We have always loved it there and put everything we had into buying a small holiday let about 3 years ago. We got a agent and cleaner and it is rented out for about half the year, in quiet times we go and let family and friends use the house. Our cleaner has always been a little hit and miss, at the start of the summer the feedback we had was good mostly 5 star reviews, but as the summer has gone on we have had some really negative feedback saying that the kitchen and bathroom were dirty. We offered compensation and spoke to the cleaner - the guests were happy. We told the agent we wanted to get a different cleaning company and they said they would start looking for alternatives. We have now had an absolutely dire review from the next guest posted on the booking website, saying items in the house were broken and it was very dirty. The agent is annoyed as they contacted the guests on the day they arrived to see if everything was alright but they did not respond. My wife went to see the house today and it was dirty and items in the house had been broken - for example broken scissors, dvd's snapped in two - of course items do get broken and we expect that but we would never leave broken items in the house and always replace items and never charge the guest for breakages, Sometimes guests hide damage (probably thinking we would charge them) and we do not have the chance to replace the item quickly. This guest of course has a right to complain, holiday time is very precious and I am upset that their stay was not perfect. We have sacked the cleaning company, but I am so sad that we put so much into the property, have had many happy guests, and now no one will rent the house going forward because of this awful review. Any ideas how to approach this?

Putting things in very short and sweet as my head is running wild!
Recently split from partner of roughly 8years (nearly 3 years living together)
Hes currently on my sofa until he finds somewhere to move into
I saw tonight thay he had a recently used app on his phone which was a banking app that he has never mentioned in the whole time we have been together, has only had one bank card throughout this period of time also.
So why would he he have a banking app that hes never said anything or even had a card for this bank?

In my younger days my style was very much “rock chick”: leather, ripped jeans, band tees, heavy eyeliner, fishnets etc.

in my 30s I had young kids and lost my way a bit lived in skinny jeans and tunics.

im largely happy with what wear now which is basics with some more edgy elements so a plain ish dress with my beloved leather hooded bomber jacket and DMs or DM sandals.

the problem is this is quite seasonal and also if I for example visit someone and remove jacket/shoes at the door I’m essentially wearing a plain dress with no personality.

I’m relying too heavily on accessories which are often/sometimes removed at my actual destination.

My question is how, at 45yrs, do I honour my ‘rock chick’ sensibilities without feeling like I’m cosplaying? I’ve evolved from the full on aesthetic but still want…suggestions…of it iyswim?
so I want to add some ‘toughness’ to an outfit (aside from leather jacket + boots) without being too ‘on the nose’? Any suggestions!

I’ve put a few examples of the kind of thing I currently wear, and a leather skirt I’ve just ordered. (I will style completely different from photo).

Please don’t just say ‘wear whatever you want’ ‘don’t worry about what others think’ It’s more about me feeling comfortable, not feeling like I’m wearing a costume, as opposed to what others think.

thanks!

Really need to get my hands on this article as I think it holds vital information. Nothing is accessible on Google but I have all the names, details etc. I just need the article.