I had a personal stylist appointment from a big departmental store thinking they would help me pick out a few outfits to make me feel good about myself as I have a few events coming up I’m nervous for. DH looked after the kids to give me time and space for this appointment (he rarely looks after them so a big surprise for me). I had really high hopes but I’m left really disappointed. I explained my style to her and even the clothes I wouldn’t wear I told her when she showed to me but I still tried on. I ended up buying 3 dresses, 3 tops and 2 trousers. It cost a lot of money as they not cheap and I felt the tailoring and fabric of expensive clothes would suit (as she told be they would). I’ve had them for a few days now and I’m not happy and I want to return. I FaceTimed my sister to show her and she agrees they don’t suit me. She thinks one dress is okay and I should keep (this dress is £190) the other 2 she said are awful as they really show the fat on my tummy whilst the other one kind of hides it with the pleats etc.

I am really upset about wasting my time and money. I kept telling the stylist my areas of concern and she kept brushing me off saying I’m probably brainwashed by social media thinking of the perfect body should look like and my body is great. But surely accentuating my worst feature (my tummy area) is not good? The rest of my body I like such as my arms and legs. I just feel I could have done a better job at picking up some pieces from cheaper brands and look better. I have no family or friends here to look after the kids so this was such a treat for me. I have to return the clothes and just look online. Has anyone actually used a personal stylist and gone away with nice clothes? My first event is next week I’m really dreading it. I’ll probably just won’t go as usual.

edited for all the typos! Sorry!

I went to my favourite restaurant in the world recently. Never had a plate of food I didn't love and I've probably been going 15(ish) times a year since 2018. It's 'tapas' style so you can easily have 4-5 plates in a meal. Just to give an indicating over the quality of the food.

One of the dishes we ordered to share was asparagus and a crispy egg. What turned up was four bits of asparagus and half a boiled egg in a shell (it looked a bit like a scotch egg, but no runny centre).

I'm wondering if I am being very unreasonable to still be absolutely gobsmacked over 24 hours later that anyone thought that was acceptable to send out of a kitchen at the price they charged for it. We're due to go back tomorrow night and I honestly want to cancel but DH thinks they deserve another chance...

So, can people tell me how much they would have thought that would cost?

I’m not new to solo travel, but I am new to solo summer travel.

I have a few beach visits planned and don’t really know what to do with my stuff if I go to the beach? Do I just leave my bag on the beach and hope it doesn’t get knicked, or do I accept that I just won’t be going in the sea unless I book into a beach club?

The govt have released a list of 125 "everyday essentials" that they plan to cut tax on to help families with the cost of living.

It's a bit of a weird list. Beans, biscuits and chocolate yes, a bit more baffled by the fresh figs, gherkins and plantains. And I had to google fonio.

Aubergines
Avocados
Baked beans
Bananas (fresh and dried)
Biscuits
Boiled sweets
Bread
Buckwheat
Candied fruit
Chewing gum
Chocolate (bulk and retail)
Chocolate bars
Chocolate drink preparations
Chocolate spreads
Chocolate with fruit, nuts or cereal
Citrus fruits (various)
Cocoa paste
Cocoa powder
Couscous
Crispbread
Crisps
Dried apples
Dried apricots
Dried figs
Dried papaya
Dried peaches/nectarines
Dried pears
Fonio
Fresh figs
Frozen fruits
Garlic
Gherkins
Gingerbread
Green tea
Jams and marmalades
Limes
Liquorice products
Margarine
Marzipan and pastes
Mixed dried fruit
Mixed fats and oils
Mixed fruit and nuts
Mixed nuts
Mixed preserved fruit and nuts
Non-alcoholic beverages
Olive oil (extra virgin)
Olive oil (other)
Olive oil (virgin)
Olives (for oil production)
Olives (fresh/chilled)
Olives (frozen)
Other fresh fruits
Other peppers (capsicum/pimenta)
Pickled peppers
Pizzas and quiches
Plant-based drinks
Plantains (fresh and dried)
Prepared vegetables
Preserved beans
Preserved citrus fruits
Preserved tropical fruit
Preserved vegetables
Processed potatoes
Quinoa
Rusks
Soups and broths
Sugar confectionery
Sugar tablets
Sweet peppers
Throat pastilles
Toasted bread products
Toffees and caramels
Tomato ketchup
Tomato sauces
Vegetable oils
Waffles and wafers

I’m probably too close to this so need honest opinions because DH thinks I’ve gone nuclear.

DH has a daughter from his first marriage. She’s 27. We’ve never had a terrible relationship but it’s never exactly been warm either. I’ve always felt like she sort of tolerates me rather than actually likes me, which is fine, she doesn’t have to love me, but I do expect basic respect.

Whenever she visits she stays with us. I clean the spare room, sort the bedding and towels, buy extra food, cook, make conversation, all of it. DH enjoys having her here but realistically I’m the one doing most of the hosting.

Anyway, last weekend she came to stay with her partner. We were having dinner and DH made some offhand comment about being lucky the mortgage was paid off. His daughter laughed and said “Well, don’t get too attached, half of it will be mine one day.” I honestly just froze. I know she’ll say it was only a joke but it didn’t feel like one. It felt really nasty.

I said, “That’s a horrible thing to say.” She immediately said I was taking it the wrong way and she was joking. I said, “You’re sat in my house, eating food I made, talking about it like you’re waiting to inherit it. How else am I supposed to take it!?”

Then it all kicked off a bit. She started crying and getting hysterical. She has form for doing this when she's been called out on horrible comments.

DH told me to leave it, which annoyed me even more becuase I feel like I’m ALWAYS expected to leave things. She got upset and said I’d never liked her. I said that wasn’t true, but I was sick of being polite while she makes digs and then acts all innocent.

Her partner looked mortified. She ended up crying even louder and they left earlier than planned. Now DH says I embarrassed her and made a stupid comment into a massive issue. He says she was clumsy, not malicious, and that saying she can’t stay again is way too harsh.

But I can’t get past it. Maybe it was “just a joke” but I don’t want to wash sheets, cook meals and play happy host for someone who apparently sees my home as her future inheritance.

I’ve said she can still visit her dad obviously, but I don’t want to wait on her hand and foot anymore and just put up with horrible digs.

AIBU or have I properly overreacted?

When someone wants advice on what to wear, and states clearly that they hate their arms, legs, fat stomach, whatever - and people come back with, ‘Oh, nobody cares, nobody’s going to be looking at you, just wear whatever you like’ etc.
But the person does care, and would prefer for the disliked bits not to be too obvious!

We’ve made the decision to home educate our child. Fulltime school isn’t right for our family, and I genuinely believe that play based, informal learning suits early childhood far better than sitting at desks from age five. I’d have been open to flexi-schooling if our local school allowed it, but they don’t so we’ve chosen home education.

What’s surprised me is the strength of the negative reaction from our teacher friends. These are people who regularly describe the state of education as dire. Dreadful behaviour, no funding, days spent on crowd control rather than actual teaching, children falling through the cracks, classrooms falling apart, pressure to hit their academies’ targets rather than do what’s best for the kids, they can’t even afford gluesticks. This insight into education from a teacher’s perspective has also informed my decision to home ed.

However when I said I was going to home educate, suddenly schools are wonderful and I’m making a terrible mistake. It started a few weeks ago when a teacher friend mentioned our children will be in the same class and since then the comments about how awful home ed is have kept coming. I’ve been shrugging it off to avoid an argument, but I’m getting increasingly frustrated. I’ve spent years validating how broken the system is, for both teachers and children, and yet the moment I choose to opt out of it, it becomes the only way to educate a child.

For context, my husband and I are both well-educated and take our child’s learning seriously. I feel comfortable teaching the early foundations like reading, writing and maths, and we plan to build projects around history, geography, science and whatever else our child shows an interest in. Beyond that, we haven’t planned anything because our child is still one. As we go through it, we’ll learn about what works for our family, and we’ll have seen how other home ed families approach things as children get older. We haven’t ruled out school further down the line either; it might turn out to be the right fit at some stage.

I’m not looking to convince anyone or get into a debate about home ed vs school. We’ve made our decision and we’re comfortable with it. I just find the contradiction so confusing and a bit hurtful. These are people who in some cases we’ve know for years, know how seriously we take our child’s wellbeing, and have spent years telling us the system is broken. I want to say firmly we’ve made a decision and we don’t want to hear anything else about it, but I also don’t want to lose long standing friends over it.

I’m worrying myself sick. DS is 17, a few of his friends have learnt how to drive, add in this glorious weather and of course they’re wanting to go to areas with water to swim in.

Yesterday they went to a river, today they’re going to a lake. The lake permits swimming but I’m so worried about them all! I’ve explained the dangers to him.

Not enjoying this age where they’re got a taste of freedom but haven’t fully developed their common sense!

My younger step brother who is 19 [I am male btw], told me that women only want to date much taller men, he's roughly the same height as me, 5'7 [5'9 in thicker soled trainers lol], and is very introvert and hasn't had any dating experience, he has a few friends and I have noticed girls in the past being nice to him/liking him when I have seen him socializing. I was aware of this height bias which shows up quite a lot online and on social media, even here on mumsnet I have seen dating related threads where many women appear to be very dismissive of dating shorter men [used to nose sometimes using my OHs old account ,she didn't mind ahaha]

Because of this, I have been noticing often when I am out in public the heights of men to see if this is true, and it very clearly isn't. Last weekend I went to a well known seaside town for the day, due to the weather it was packed so millions of people and I would say literally the amount of couples of all ages where the man was average/slightly shorter than average height was the majority, it very clearly isn't the case that most women are not attracted to men below 6ft, 5ft10 or whatever. I myself have also never had a huge issue dating in the past, I never even knew I was particularly short until seeing this height related stuff online, and where women are concerned my height has never been mentioned

Was curious if this is only me that's noticed this, I think it could be more of a gen z thing than millenial and above? I'm not sure, but it definitely doesn't seem to match up with what I have seen with my own eyes in real life, have tried to reassure step bro that his height is fine, I think his parents have too, but don't seem to be able to convince him

Half term. Trying to find things to do to keep the kids occupied. Why is everything SO expensive?! We’ve exhausted the local free activities including various walks, playgrounds, splash parks, travelled to the nearest beach. We want to do something a bit more special and have looked at more “day out” type activities, including children’s theme park, zoo, steam train, castle, national trust etc but it’s just unaffordable. It frustrates me how as a family we’re considered good earners but we just don’t have enough left over to justify £100+ for one day out, not including travel and food and the inevitable ice cream and gift shop visit.

Is anyone else struggling with the cost of family days out or AIBU?

I saw the tragic news of two more lives lost in the heatwave, in water.

I believe there needs to be some sort of National campaign to warn people of the dangers of open water on hot days - or any day.

so many lives lost.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cn0p7j3lwepo

I am 2 inches shorter than the model, have to wear flat shoes.
Size 8. I want too wear it as much as possible :) I bought it as it is beautiful and cannot find ways to wear it. Thanks for any help!
It looks white on my screen but it is very pale pink.

I know that proposals aren’t the be all and end all. But I am desperate to marry my partner and so is he (so he says pretty much every day).
Ring exists because I’ve come across it when I saw the box in his suitcase when we went on holiday last year. But we had issues on holiday (not with each other) with our villa so i can see why he didn’t do it there. We had a few days of just being super disappointed with certain problems we had with our holiday let and then I had an allergic reaction to something so literally there wasn’t a window that I know he could have used.

he has said when it happens he wants to do it properly. He knows I don’t care for a massive show and I don’t want money being spent to make it happen. I really hate stuff like that. All I want is some thought.

I’m just at a point now where I’m getting more and more pissed that he hasn’t managed to just work out a romantic way to do it. I’m not asking for instagram worthy, just take me on a trip to a bloody lake or a pretty looking forest that’s free to visit and get down on a knee or something.

i don’t want this bogus thing of me asking him or him just asking me at home. This is the only thing I’ve actually ever wanted in our relationship to be just a little bit special. I’ve been married before and it was all pretty shit and I was never made to feel loved the way I wished to be. DP is so loving and affectionate, I can’t understand why he hasn’t just bitten the bullet or even found a way to make it happen

what do I say to him? Should I have a chat with him? because it’s been 9 months since he knew I saw the ring and I’m just getting fed up. I’m getting to a point where I just question if he even wants this any more.

Gosh I’m sorry this is long, I guess I needed to vent more than I thought I did.

Obviously different when you have children but I’ve seen a lot of single people constantly uploading to Vinted

A bit of a long one sorry to make sure I share enough information…

My partner and I have two children (one each) from previous relationships. My DD8 and his DS6. We both have amicable coparenting relationships with the children’s other parents. My DD stays with me most of the time, but goes to her Dads every other weekend from Fri- Sun. My partners DS, stays with him every other week for the full 7 nights.

We currently live separately in houses we independently own which are about 40mins apart. I work in an office roughly 8.30-5 Monday- Friday, with my DD going to wraparound childcare 5 days a week, my partner works from home pretty much full time and does school pick up and drop off on the days he has his DS.

We've decided we are now at the stage where we want to sell both houses and buy one. We want to stay in the area where I live (nicer, better transport links etc.) but we can’t work out a childcare arrangement that enables him to continue to see his son as much as he currently does, without him driving roughly 3 hours a day to school and back twice (which is unsustainable)…

Options we’ve considered… buying a small property near his son which he can stay in on his childcare weeks (financially viable but not the family feel we would like)… reducing the time he has his DS during the week but picking up more in school holidays…

Does anyone have any other/ better ideas for arrangements? I don’t want DS to feel “rejected” through the move, or for DP to grow resentful of the move.

TIA

Hey all,

So obviously the whole country is melting atm.

I need to find some curtains for my daughter's room that actually do what they're meant to - reflect the heat and try and keep her room slightly cool.

It's worse for her as she's on SSRI's so she's really feeling ill with the heat.

Oh and our windows have weird dimensions. So normally have to search high and low.

Obviously don't think a £10 pair from Amazon will do the job!!

Any ideas?

Most of my Summer clothes no longer fit and I desperately need a couple of cool, floaty dresses and some shorts that are not too short.

What have you all bought recently that you’ve loved?

I really need some inspiration.

I’m currently 35 weeks pregnant with my first baby. A friend of mine is also pregnant shes two months behind me but this is her second child.

We’ve been friends for around 10 years, but we haven’t actually been particularly close for quite a while. We haven’t hung out in around 2 years and I hadn’t seen her in about a year before my pregnancy. We stayed in touch but it wasn’t a very involved friendship.

Since finding out I’m pregnant, she’s become very invested. She talks about “doing motherhood together”, has spoken about coming round when my partner is at work, talks about our babies growing up together, and seemed very invested in my baby shower. She was originally only asked to help host some games but was messaging my cousin separately about shower plans and seemed to want a bigger role than I’d actually asked her to have.

She’s also approached another friend of mine (who she only knows through me) asking if she was coming to my baby shower.

A couple of people around me have said they think she’s just excited, but they’ve also admitted the level of excitement seems quite intense.

Part of my discomfort is that this same friend has asked me for favours, childcare and money on and off over the years. The last time she asked me for money was during my pregnancy, which I found quite uncomfortable.

I don’t dislike her and I’m not saying we can’t be friends. What I’m struggling with is that I feel like she’s built up an idea of what our friendship and motherhood journey will look like, and it doesn’t match what I want.

I’m excited to become a mum, but my focus is very much on my partner, our baby and our families. I don’t really want a daily-contact, shared-childcare, “we’re doing motherhood together” type friendship.

Because this is my first baby and I only have a few weeks left, I sometimes feel like I’ve spent a lot of my pregnancy managing someone else’s expectations and excitement rather than just enjoying it myself.

Am I being unreasonable, or would others find this level of involvement a bit much?

Just came across a bundle of items on Vinted, new with tags at a reasonable price. Seller also stated that they’re open to offers.
Strange thing is though that they have a ‘frequent uploads’ and a ‘speedy shipping’ badge, but zero reviews.
How is that even possible?
Wouldn’t they at least get automatic Vinted reviews like ‘sale completed’ if they were actually selling things?
Apart from that one bundle I saw, they only have another one currently on sale, so not sure where the ‘frequent uploads’ are coming from.
Is it likely to be a scam somehow?

I could cry right now.

I understand banning thin strapped vests but surely thick straps are fine? She’s also banned all shorts (including knee length) and skirts that sit at the knee. Basically we have to go down to ankle length trousers.

AIBU to genuinely consider quitting my job? Her office is air conditioned but we’re in a horrible hot sun trap!

I am having two trouble with pilling and can't seem to work out how to stop it.

Everything I have read is about multiple products with layers disagreeing or needing to dry. But I literally only use SPF or face cream with SPF on and it pills on its own on a clean face.

I have switched products and some will be better on some days than others. ours worse at the moment and I'm not sure if it's because I'm trying to use more SPF as it's hot and sunny or because of heat I'm sweating/more greasy skin.

I put on face cream with SPF (switched done to 30 as one with 50 was think and a nightmare for it) about 45 minutes ago and I'm sure it's all just rubbed off now.

I have to be sedated for some dental work I have coming up. I like and trust my dentist. But I just feel very vulnerable as a woman being in that position. So I requested my husband be with me when I’m out of it. Just for peace of mind. The dentist definitely gave off the vibe that what I was asking was odd. I didn’t go into the why. I was told it was not possible

was it that weird to ask? I do err on the side of caution. I watch too much true crime probably. When we had IVF I asked that my husband stayed with his sample. I was paranoid that his sample would be swapped. This was definitely a direct result of watching the doc where the dr used his own. And to be fair the clinic allowed it.

But anyway. I think if a woman feels vulnerable (given the level of abuse women encounter) then I should be able to request safeguards

Hi. Dd, 10, broke the cover off the electric charge point on our lease car. She was playing football right next to the car, even though there is a field joined onto our driveway. Literally, 2 steps away. Where they usually play football.

I suggested she could help me around the house today, but she just sulked off. Also, she didnt tell us about the breakage, we had to find it ourselves.

She gets £5 a week pocket money. Should we make her pay for the replacement? It will be bloody £118! We've already had a lot of expenses come up this month, and spent a lot of money ok them (2 ds also) as it's been half term.

What would you do?

Thanks!

Welcome to the EastEnders spoilers thread, where we post and talk about any EE spoilers we've read about, including those in early release episodes on iPlayer.

Link below to watch episodes on BBC iPlayer - these are usually dropped at 6am on broadcast days - and you can read brief synopses of upcoming episodes:

www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b006m86d

I'm buying a property that has thrown up a few issues, one of which is mice infestation. It's a bigger problem than I realised, minimum £10k to address it (but potentially much higher if there's electrical damage). I'm not willing to pay to eradicate a long-standing problem that long predates this purchase. How do I address this in negotiations?

Sorry this is so long!!!

The property was advertised at £375, and had lots of interest. It's a probate, currently empty. After a best & final process my offer of £390k was accepted. This says a lot about the desirability of the property as our local market is very slow right now.

I had a Level 3 survey which found extensive rodent infestation and then a pest control survey. I used a company that were recommended to me by a friend who found they were the only company that eradicated an embedded rat infestation in her property. In my case it's mice, not rats (good news) but it is very well established with "vast" evidence in loft and other evidence in kitchen (bad news).

The quote for fully dealing with this is massive - £400 for the extermination but 4k for identifying and sealing all entry points and 5k for loft cleaning, including clearing the infested insulation. Then another £2.5k to lay new insulation. The cost for removing insulation is high is because a) it's a massive loft (bungalow), b) has vermiculite insulation as well as standard fibreglass - huge pain to removek and c) is sodden with decades' worth of rodent urine and faeces (yuck). Further complication is that vermiculite insulation may contain asbestos. It's unlikely that it IS asbestos, but if it is, the removal needs to be specialist and will add another £15k to the cost because the loft is massive and there is a huge amount of it

What do I now? There are two options - which is either that the sellers deal with it before exchange, or that I do it after completion and it is reflected in the price.

If before exchange, I very much doubt that the sellers want to pay £10k for rodent treatment. However, without removing the infested insulation it's impossible to assess damage to electrical wiring, as this is laid below the insulation. AND the insulation needs to be tested for asbestos (£500).

If we wait til completion, I can't fully assess the risk & damage, and as I have pets who can't be in property during the treatment (and because I'm not willing to move while the infestation is in kitchen etc) then I would have to stay in my current rental for a couple of months til it's dealt with, which adds more costs and more time.

What is the best way forward here? Both options have massive costs - if sellers do it is £10k upfront, even I I cover the costs of laying new insulation. If I do it, the full cost, with new insulation and two months more in rented accommodation, is likely closer to £20k even if there is no electrical damage. That seems an absolutely massive price reduction for mice. But I don't want to accept a mouse-infested property!!

What do I do? How do I word the email to the EA? I am willing to walk away over it - the property also needs lots of other things done and my budget definitely cannot accommodate an extra 20k-40k for rodents.

(Also - yes, I could get other quotes and this could definitely be worth doing for the loft insulation clearance, but the extermination & proofing work (£5k) I strongly want to do with this firm since they seem to have the best chance of actually solving the problem. And the loft clearance is a big job - huge amount of vermiculite, rodent infested boards, rodent infested fibreglass insulation. So even a cheaper firm might only save £1-2k in best scenario).