Getting remarried. Going to be a very small (just us and teen kids) registry office wedding.

I bought this months ago but have lost a little weight since and I don't think its fits right and just don't think I want to wear it now.

I think its because it's white/Ivory.

I'm in my early 40s. 9st. 5ft5.

I just think maybe its a bit too boring/traditional. Maybe just too wedding-y.

I don't know. I'm just not feeling it at all now but have no idea what I might like?!

I live on the same row of houses as an Airbnb. The Airbnb is in the middle of the row. My house and garden is at the end of the row, where there is a dropped kerb, and an open driveway/parking area leading into the garden. So there is no gate, just the driveway opening. Garden has usual garden things, like kids toys, sheds, raised planters, etc.

This morning, the Airbnb guest walked right past us putting kids in the car, she turned into my driveway, and walked into my garden - with 2 dogs. I was strapping the toddler in and honestly took me a few seconds to register what was going on. Once she reached the grass in the garden, she let the 2 dogs off the lead! And then they were running around my garden!! She was sort of wandering about, looking at my raised beds, totally casual.

So DH followed her and called after her "what are you doing??" I couldn't hear her reply but after a few seconds they both appeared back. The dogs were running about. One jumped into my car. I pushed it out and DH got in the car, sort of rolling his eyes. I heard the woman say "I was told it was dog friendly here...". Haha - what, in my garden!??

This is an absolutely wild thing for her to do, right?? The Airbnb isn't even next door. Like, there is no world in which she would have thought my garden was part of her Airbnb property. She just walked down the street, past a few houses, past ME and into my garden, to let her dogs run around it. Presumably to poo.

What on earth could have been going through her head??

AIBU to think this is INSANE behaviour?

It’s a September return to Salty Island!

So, I have 5 grandchildren, this weekend I’m looking after all of them, my daughter and her husband are away to a wedding in France and my son and his wife have booked a little spa weekend.

I popped in to see some of my friends with them as I don’t often have the children and my friends like seeing them.

One of my friends had some other friends I’ve not met before over but we joined them. After introducing the children and then being sent to the kitchen to get a lollipop, one of these friends said oh don’t all the girls have little showgirl names, I must have looked a bit shocked as someone else then jumped in and said oh she doesn’t mean p*rnstar just very moulin rouge.

I just said I thought their names were lovely and moved on but now I’m back home I’m furious, I’m furious I didn’t give her a piece of my mind.

AIBU to think this is an absurd thing to say about children’s names?!

Okay, so I normally like Le Labo and Aesop aromatherapy associates Molton Brown all those lovely things but can't justify at the end of the holidays.

What body wash could you get from boots that smells a bit like those geranium fig Aveda kind of smell?

help.

We can learn other languages so why can’t we speak to animals? Or understand their communication

I rarely ever have a night away - just for context. The last one was about 2 years ago and I can’t remember the time before that. DH has never liked it much (he has had nights away, including several nights abroad with friends for stags / birthdays etc)

Unfortunately it has happened that I have an agreed night away coming up shortly, which has been planned for ages to see a concert, but another close friend has now asked me if I am able to go with her for a spa night the weekend before as the person she originally planned to go with can’t make it.

So I’d be away two weekends - one after the other. I haven’t even asked yet… I don’t know if it’s unreasonable to do so? Two children - nearly 18 and 12.

Would your DH / partner allow you to go?

My DS (almost 14) doesn't want to go on holiday with his dad, my ex-DH, and has twice told him this directly.

My ex-DH is saying my DS has to go, no question. They are meant to go on Sunday. Other people going will be my DD(nearly 16), a friend of hers, two grandparents (ex DH's mum and dad), and ex-DH's new-ish live-in partner and her child (DD, 5).

My DS is asking me to speak to the dad for him as he really doesn't want to go.

I've no idea how to handle this. Custody is 50/50 (informally) and I think my DC are both old enough to decide what they do and don't want to do (DS is almost 14 and DD is nearly 16).

If my DC didn't want to go with me somewhere and wanted to stay with the dad instead, I wouldn't dream of trying to force them.

My DS is giving two reasons for not wanting to go. One, because he just wants to chill at home and see his friends, as I've already taken DC on two trips. (One was a short trip to my home country where they have family they can only see once a year, therefore not 'just' a holiday. The other is the exotic holiday we've just come back from. In total kids have been away with me for 19 days but this was all agreed with ex DH beforehand)

The other reason is that he just doesn't enjoy being with his dad when dad's new GF and her young kid are there (they now live with my ex-DH and the entire dynamic has changed since they've moved in).

Ex-DH is already blaming me, saying this is the result of me having taken them away too much this summer.

What do I do? Do I speak to ex-DH to say DS doesn't want to go, and he should give him a break, as he'll only alienate him if he forces him? If I don't try to speak up for my DS, he'll feel he's got no one backing him up and, honestly, I don't think my child should need anyone's permission to stay at home with his mum - this is his home, even if he's normally here just 50% of the time.

I also feel it's my ex-DH's own fault for this situation because the kids used to have a brilliant relationship with him and adored going away with him. We did 8 years of fantastic coparenting, until he met his current partner; she moved in after a very short amount of time, they now also work together, and everything is focused towards her and her DD(5). My DC have said that they feel like visitors in their dad's house. Things between my ex and me have been very strained because of this (I have tried to advocate for the children), and I'm weary of making them worse, but I also really want to help my child feel supported and stay at home with me if he wants to.

Am I wrong to think he's old enough to decide? Please help - what's a reasonable course of action here?

I was in Marbella old town a few weeks ago and saw a lovely smallish bag with a long handle to be worn cross-body or to hang at hip level.

It was leather (or at least looked like leather and the price indicated it probably was real, but could easily have been fake leather as I didn’t have time to stick around and check) and had a kind of flap over the top in a brown/tan colour that made it look kind of like a mini longchamp pliage.

There were a variety of colours inc a lovely green and a yellow. It cost €69.

I couldn’t buy it at the time (time restraints with family and I don’t spend £60 on a bag on a whim) but have been regretting it ever since. I have tried googling to find something like it online, but cannot find anything remotely similar. I suspect it was a local maker/supplier. I cannot remember the name of the shop or the street it was on, other than it was one or two doors up from a wee jewellery shop (Cheap jewellery - my teens were in it), and it was on the left hand side as you walked up the street towards the heart of the old town, with the main road behind you.

People who are good at these things - is there any way to find it?!??

My DD1 has just collected her GCSE's from her school which is an Essex girls Grammar with high standards. DD1 has done very well and 'likes' single sex teaching (if she wanted to learn with boys she would got to the Boys Grammar for Sixth Form). However, like most Grammar Schools whether Boys or Girls they are Co -Ed or in my DD's School partially with around 30 Boys in both Year 12 and 13. I know this seems to be the fashion that Girls Schools which really should be single sex all through are admitting boys these days into year 12. I guess it is probably due to funding though personally I would prefer single sex availability for girls with the Boys Grammars offering the Co=Ed experience if wanted.

Welcome to Thread 4! 🥳

And here we are again! 😂 A huge thank you to everyone who's been sharing spoilers, links, bargains, discount codes and enabling each other over the first three threads. ❤️

As agreed, we're taking it in turns to start each new thread null this year. If this thread starts getting close to the reply limit, please post to let everyone know you're happy to start the next one so we can avoid duplicate threads.

🎅 A few festive housekeeping notes;
🎁 This thread contains spoilers.
🎄 Please be kind and respectful to one another.
💸 No judging anyone for their purchasing choices (or how many calendars they buy... we're all enablers here! 😂).
🎀 Feel free to share spoilers, offers, discount codes, GWPs, delivery updates and stock alerts.

🎁 Available Now

Liberty – £285 (Beauty Drop members receive £25 off). Full contents revealed and available to order.
https://www.libertylondon.com/uk/beauty-advent-calendar

P. Louise – £250. Available to pre-order with payment instalments available.
https://plouise.co.uk/collections/wonderful-world-of-p-louise-advent-calendar/products/what-glows-around-2026-advent-calendar

John Lewis – Available on pre-sale via the app for MyJL members.
https://beauty-detective.com/john-lewis-beauty-advent-calendar-2026/

Harrods Beauty Advent Calendar – Now on pre-sale.
https://www.harrods.com/en-gb/p/harrods-of-london-the-harrods-beauty-advent-calendar-2026-000000000000284475

Harrods 12 Days of Hair & Body – Now on pre-sale.
https://www.harrods.com/en-gb/p/harrods-of-london-the-harrods-12-days-of-hair-and-body-advent-calendar-2026-000000000000284465

Harrods Fragrance Advent Calendar – Pre-sale currently sold out. Expected back in-store during September (date TBC).
https://beauty-detective.com/harrods-fragrance-advent-calendar-2026/

Vogue Festive Calendar – Available to pre-order. https://shop.vogue.co.uk/products/vogue-festive-calendar-2026

Fortnum & Mason Beauty Advent Calendar – Available to pre-order.
https://www.fortnumandmason.com/fortnums-beauty-advent-calendar-2026

Anthropologie 24 Day Beauty Advent Calendar – Available to pre-order.
https://www.anthropologie.com/en-gb/shop/24-days-of-beauty-advent-calendar5

The Fragrance Shop - Available for pre-order
Women's Advent Calendar https://www.thefragranceshop.co.uk/the-fragrance-shop/the-fragrance-shop/gift-box-advent/p/76306
Men's Advent Calendar https://www.thefragranceshop.co.uk/the-fragrance-shop/the-fragrance-shop/gift-box-advent/p/76307

⏳ Coming Soon / Waitlists

Cult Beauty
https://www.cultbeauty.co.uk/c/advent-calendar/

Harvey Nichols
Beauty:
https://www.harveynichols.com/harvey-nichols/harvey-nichols-beauty-advent-calendar-2026-75896-258491/
Fragrance:
https://www.harveynichols.com/harvey-nichols/harvey-nichols-12-days-of-fragrance-advent-calendar-2026-75906-258490/

John Lewis Fragrance
https://beauty-detective.com/john-lewis-fragrance-advent-calendar-2026/

Space NK
https://www.spacenk.com/uk/gifts/beauty-advent-calendars/beauty-advent-calendar-MUK200063764.html

Elle
https://beauty-detective.com/elle-advent-calendar-2026/

Fortnum & Mason
Spoilers:
https://beauty-detective.com/fortnum-mason-beauty-advent-calendar-2026/
Waitlist: https://www.fortnumandmason.com/beauty-advent-calender-sign-up-2026

Boots (including the new fragrance calendar) https://www.boots.com/christmas/advent-calendars/advent-calendar-waiting-list

Sephora UK
Spoilers:
https://beauty-detective.com/sephora-uk-advent-calendar-2026/
Waitlist: https://www.sephora.co.uk/c/beauty-advent-calendar-waitlist

Selfridges (Beauty & Fragrance)
https://beauty-detective.com/selfridges-beauty-advent-calendar-2026/
Fragrance https://beauty-detective.com/selfridges-fragrance-advent-calendar-2026/

LookFantastic Beauty
https://www.lookfantastic.com/c/waitlist/advent/?srsltid=AfmBOoovzs9M5Kt8-RM_31Q3_-JOa6N51uGggpe0hglvZbxC5Of7AFTH

LookFantastic Fragrance
https://beauty-detective.com/lookfantastic-fragrance-advent-calendar-2026/

Glossybox
https://beauty-detective.com/glossybox-advent-calendar-2026/

OK! Beauty Box
https://beauty-detective.com/ok-beauty-box-advent-calendar-2026/

Fenwick – Loyalty members null 20 August | General release null 25 August
https://fenwick.co.uk/blogs/daily-muse/fragrance-beauty-25-day-advent-calendar

Next spoilers
https://beauty-detective.com/next-beauty-advent-calendar-2026/

Debenhams – waiting list
https://www.debenhams.com/pages/beauty-advent-calendar

💄 More Calendars & Spoilers

Rather than making the opening post a mile long, here's a brilliant roundup of lots more advent calendars and the latest spoilers, including Charlotte Tilbury, Jo Malone, Elemis, Lancôme, Tatcha, NEOM, Neal's Yard Remedies, Holland & Barrett, YesStyle and many more as they're announced.

👉 https://beauty-detective.com/category/beauty-advent-calendars/ 👈

🎅 Happy advent season everyone! 🎁

Here's hoping for lots more spoilers, bargains, discount codes, and maybe a little self-control (although that's already gone for some 😄)

Another day another argument with DH

To put into context, coming to the end of school holidays, it's been hard. DC are 5 and 10. I've done the bulk of childcare or sorted out clubs, babysitting etc and a combination of wfh where possible etc. But its been a long few weeks. Dh has done 1 day at home so I coukd go into the office and even then complained it's been hard

Today's argument started because I was Wfh but had to drop eldest dc off at an activity between calls. Did a quick lunch kids too plates out, but I didn't notice some crumbs were on a chair that they didn't tidy up. Got back and had to rush on a call, so dh came home and threw a strop that there were crumbs there. Asked why I didn't get the kids to tidy up properly before we went out. Explained they took plates and bowls out but that's not good enough

Later on dh was partially napping on the sofa, but was awake as he'd asked me the time 3 times. So knew he was awake. I then dropped something which made a noise while tidying up and he had a go at me for making noise while he napped

Then moaned at me because this morning because I forgot to tell him I was having a shower this morning (I often shower at night) and then he moaned about the wasted effort he had just done on cleaning the shower ( wiping the screen down)

I am probably over thinking this as it's been a long few weeks, my job is demanding and I've not had 2 seconds to myself in 5 weeks (dh been away/out most weekends as well) and I'm exhausted but the constant moaning is killing me

Bit of background… My brother got married around 18 months ago in a small ceremony in the UK. It was always the intention for them to have a wedding celebration later down the line.

4 months ago, my brother announced the second wedding would take place in France next month. Verbal invite only so no written info. We weighed it up and agreed to take the children (8/10) out of school as we felt it was an exceptional circumstance. I work in education so I am also having to take leave in exceptional circumstances, which I’m very fortunate my school have supported.

We have just received details in writing in which it has become clear children are not welcome at the meal (4 hours). Children are required to be looked after by babysitters at our expense. They have their own younger children who are less ready to sit at a table for extended periods than our own.

We choose not to send our children to kids clubs and only do things with them if they can be included. AIBU to say, in light of the arrangements, we choose not to bring them (DH would stay at home with them as the rest of the family are at the wedding)? I feel I can’t justify taking them out of school for a couple of hours worth of ceremony/drinks.

For context, I am 53 and a lifelong vegetarian. I have never cooked meat or eaten meat.

I was always clear with my kids that if they wanted to eat meat, it was their choice but it had to be out of the house. Put simply, I don’t want it in my house.

They both eat meat and I am ok with that.

But I came home and they have cooked it- used my wooden chopping board to cut it up. Left remnants on the worksurface.

i’m bloody upset and it feels so disrespectful frankly. It’s a real problem for me- I don’t want meat in my house- I have always been really clear about it.

aibu to be so upset about it? It’s a real problem for me.

My DC is only doing one GCSE this year, a year early, but as I was looking through the information to check timings etc I noticed an email about the "remark" service and the costs

We could afford to pay if needed, but I do a lot of work with people who are in financially difficult situations.

I do fully understand there's a cost to remarking. But it just makes me feel really uncomfortable that clearly the costs might mean some people just don't have that option.

Is there help for people who can't afford to pay? There's no mention of it in the email.

Currently 38+5 pregnant. Teacher and so fortunately finished for the summer as normal in July. Had it not been the summer holidays, I would have taken maternity leave at 37 weeks anyway. DH and I have also been ill for a few days this week with a fairly bad stomach bug.

GCSE results’ day yesterday. Only Heads of Department and senior staff expected to be in school/contactable on the day, which I am not. This is stated in contract.

Received an informal Teams’ message from Head of Department yesterday saying they needed to speak with me regarding a particular student (a simple case of organising a remark which only HoD can do anyway) and could I let them know when I was free to talk. I felt really annoyed that firstly I was being contacted during the holidays, secondly that they are fully aware I am close to my due date/would have been on maternity leave otherwise, and thirdly that there is nothing I can do to help. HoD has form for passing on work which is their’s to do. I ignored their message. I then also had several students sending me messages on Teams late last night regarding remarks. I very briefly replied to them saying to speak to the HoD.

I emailed the HoD and Deputy Head Academic this morning explaining that although I had seen the overall results, I was not really in a position to begin analysing paper breakdowns, discussing remarks, and contacting students/parents. I said I was happy for any remarks to be processed. As of tonight, I have had no reply.

YABU - results are important and you should be involved as their teacher.
YANBU - You should not be contacted during school holidays as per your contract, and especially given the proximity to your due date and that you would have been on maternity leave anyway if not for the holidays.

I’ve been dragged into work drinks tonight, I don’t want to go but it was basically made compulsory as it’s for a manager’s birthday. I have a busy weekend, DD has a dance competition and DS has a football tournament so I’m literally all over the county.

What are my best bets to get out early?! I tried to say no but I got a “you’re being very obstructive and not a good team player”, I’m still fairly new so not willing to hugely rock the boat by not turning up!

I’m in a relatively new relationship (less than a year). Things have been great and he’s been an amazing partner so I can’t complain (until now).

I found out now that he has a secret kink or affinity that he never even mentioned. It only came out when someone else alluded to it in my presence and I asked about it. He seemed embarrassed and said that he didn’t know how and when mention it yet. I let it go at the time but I’ve been thinking about it and getting quite angry.

The things that bother me is that he didn’t tell me about it and it hurts me, because it is clear that previous partners knew about it. It also makes me wonder if I even know him at all or what else he might be hiding, and I’m so mad at the thought that I might have wasted almost a year on someone who kept secrets.

And yes, I will be launching a Clare’s Law request just in case. I’m also considering contacting the person who flippantly made the remark/ joke in the first place to see if it aligns with what he told me. But I’m just mad right now. Things were going too well and I was wondering where the catch was.

Well exactly that really got a spare bit of time and I know with some of the recent ridiculous tv shows I thought I’d see if I could answer a few myths and questions. I will say my partner is a traveller I am not but am married into the community which in itself is rare

Trying to keep this brief. Will probably fail, sorry. Scene-setting... Old school friend, close but not in each other's pockets (neither of us are really like that), live a long way from each other, very busy lives with family / social lives / work (both in very full-on jobs), meet up a couple of times a year, go through phases with messaging - can be a couple of months between then have a spell of conversation in which we catch up on life then things go quiet again, mainly we talk about the very important and private stuff that we've both acknowledged we wouldn't really discuss with other people. We've both spoken about how things work, in that regard, and said it suits us - the gaps are not a reflection of the other being unimportant, neither of us are needy and we both just understand each other's lives.

Fast forward... Friend went through IVF, bless her, and her DH works away, all over the world (she does, too). Some appointments she went to by herself and I was the person she called while she was waiting to be seen at those appointments. Pregnancy was relatively ok for her. Second child. She had a CS with first, wanted VBAC with second. We had conversations about it ahead of the birth - both on the same page with wanting a VBAC second time around, both also very pragmatic people (I had an emergency CS with my first but had wanted a water birth - have been advised against VBAC in future). She went overdue but was almost certainly going into hospital for an induction and if baby not been born naturally by X date then it was going to be a CS - some concerns started to crop up about her health and baby's health around her due date.

We messaged on or the day before she was likely going in (because I'd got in touch to find out how an appointment a few days earlier went) but I didn't know if / when she'd actually gone into hospital. I didn't then hear anything at all. Childbirth is a busy time! A week passed (and we were a good few days beyond the final date baby could have been born) so I dropped her a message just to see how she was getting on. No response. A few days later (yesterday) dropped her another message just to say I was thinking of her. Got an immediate response to say that she'd been home a few days, had a busy week, baby girl was born a week earlier, and she was doing ok after a bit of a rough ride.

I totally get that having a baby is utterly crazy and the early days are like being in the trenches. I've been there - very rough surgery, very unsettled baby, having absolutely zero clue how to navigate the new order. I also tried to strike a balance between being there / supportive / interested / consistent but not oppressive or demanding (that's obviously subjective but I think, based on our relationship, I gauged it right). I was concerned about my friend because of the things that started to indicate there may be a problem prior to the birth.

I just have this feeling that I was forgotten in the list of people to inform about her being safe and baby girl being born. Whilst she tells me what an important friend I am, I struggle to get past "actions speak louder than words".

I'm genuinely not an overbearing person. It's something I check with people because I hate others who are overbearing! I am the person who can always be relied on though (by friends or even acquaintances, it transpires) - I think it's the consistency 🤷🏼‍♀️ On the one hand, I am worried that I've expected too much of my friend. On the other hand, I am concerned I have misjudged the friendship and I'm perhaps not as important to her as I had thought.

AIBU to think I may have been forgotten / misjudged a friendship when it took one of my (supposed) closest friends over a week to let me know she was ok and baby had arrived safely?

It's a job where work must be covered at all times at as it's a 24-hour service, but it's not always easy as staff can be off sick, emergencies etc. Plus it's a 0 hours contract so staff can technically refuse.

The office staff were told just before the end of the day 'nobody can leave tonight until all work is covered'. They'll be paid for the overtime, but still.
I know staff aren't physically barricaded into the building, but would likely face disciplinary if they refused, the contract is deliberately vaguely-worded as 'flexible'.

A lot of the staff are very young, early 20s and I'm worried they'll just put up with this, I didn't see the manager sticking around past her finish time.

Has anyone else had this?

My mum is about half an hour away. I can't see her on her 90th birthday which is this Monday. Mum has dementia - not too bad yet, and a heart condition. I feel sad that she may not hear from many people on Monday other than her carers.

I am in regular contact with the couple below her - fit and well in their late 60s/.early 70's I expect.. Whenever there is an issue with tradespeople coming in etc, they will let them in, do things such as this for my mum..

Also there are 2 ladies of the same age, one of whom my mum used to love chatting with when she was more mobile..

I don't know if it's rude or cheeky to text any of them to say by the way my mum will be 90 on Monday.. They might want to send her a card..

What do you think ? Thanks in advance..

My dad died 2 years ago leaving his wife. My mum and dad split up when I was about 4 due to my dad having an affair with her. I’ve never been very close to my dad’s wife but I’ve obviously been pleasant as I wanted to see my dad and understand she was part of that.

My dad was married to her since I was about 6. We were about 60/40 between my mum and dad’s house and we all saw our dad regularly as adults. My dad and his wife also had a child together so we have a half sibling.

My dad’s wife is now ill and needs some care at home. Our half sibling is expecting me and my siblings to help with care. We have all said no for our own differing reasons.

Half sibling is now going round to other family to say how selfish we are as her mum ‘raised us’. We have all had messages to say our dad would be disappointed and saddened.

Are we the unreasonable ones to not care for her? We all have busy lives and responsibilities elsewhere but bottom line is that we don’t want to have to look after her. We have told our half sister she can do it or she can pay for carers.

I have these earrings which I LOVE, they remind me of bubbles 😁 and I’m looking for a fun dress to wear with them for a friends 50th party - not fancy dress fun but something fun!

I’m

• a size 22
• very Apple shaped
• have a large apron belly so nothing tight there
• reasonable boobs 😂
• haopy to buy and wear shapewear
• Dont suit a high neck
• will be wearing flats or v low heel
• hair will be down and shoulder length big curls with lots of volume

Budget of £75-100

I’m SO bored of wearing black maxi dresses! I want something that makes me feel fabulous and is fun! And it’s fine if you don’t like the earrings, they’re my joy 😂

Have won a prize with postcode lottery; I have two tickets so should be two prizes. I’ve only ever won gift vouchers for shops like M&S before so winning a prize is new to me. I checked briefly when at work and there were lots of great things to choose from. Just looked again, and the only thing there is a book that I don’t want. Is that it/am I too late? What if someone else takes the book; does that mean all items gone? Any help appreciated.