My family (mum and her partner, my sister and half sister and their families) are due to visit and stay with us for a few days over Xmas. We live about 150 miles from them so we alternate spending Christmas in the two places, although we always go out for Christmas dinner. My half sister doesn’t always join us but does sometimes and is this year.

We all agreed on the restaurant for Christmas Day a few months ago and I booked it. My half sister is now saying she can’t afford it and wants us to host Xmas dinner at home. We really don’t want to do that as we look forward to going out for it, not cooking and just relaxing.

I’ve suggested that she comes before or after Xmas for a day or two instead but she thinks that’s unfair and doesn’t see why we can’t just cook dinner at home. My mum is siding with her and it’s causing friction. Are we being unreasonable to not want to change our plans and not want to have to cook dinner ourselves when we were looking forward to going out?

I’m looking for some objective perspective because I am in a flux.
A few years ago, we bought our family home. I put down 100% of the deposit from my own savings/funds, and my husband contributed nothing towards the purchase at the time. My contribution was put in trust.
Soon after, he received a substantial inheritance. The agreement was that this money was earmarked for developing and extending the property, which would build equity for our family and improve our living space.
We recently made concrete plans to get the building work underway. It was only when I asked for funds to pay for initial works that the truth came out. The money is gone. He has spent the entire inheritance and yet there is nothing to show for it. He has actively hidden this from me and lying about the money still being there whenever the subject of the house project came up. He has no clear explanation for where hundreds of thousands of pounds went, other than general mismanagement. He has also run up substantial debts and now cannot afford to contribute to the household management.
The level of deceit and financial betrayal has completely shattered my trust in him.
Because of the systematic lying, I have asked him move out of the family home so I can figure out my next steps.
He thinks I’m overreacting, throwing away a marriage over money, and being cold-hearted.
So, AIBU?
YANBU He lied for years and blew a life-changing sum of money. (we could now be mortage free!) The trust is gone.YABU – You shouldn't kick him out of the family home; try counselling first.

Do they exist? Just something warmish, easy, plain, reasonably flattering.

Aged 70, short, size 14.

Thanks!

It's not going well, what an awful situation.

Mine is I buy a boned, rolled and stuffed turkey. The white and dark mean is in separate rolls and it takes an hour to cook. Fits in the oven easily with room for all the other stuff. Anyone else got top tips to make life easier?

title speaks for itself. at what point in his life do we tell him, if ever? i feel like he has the right to know he was a twin, but i also don’t want him to feel the grief the way his dad & i feel it, or feel like hes not enough for us. he’s almost a year old so we have tons of time to figure this out, but what would you do? we talked about waiting until he’s in his teens so he can understand it better but i dont want him to be upset that we’ve kept something from him later down the line. how do we navigate this? how would you navigate this?

I feel like everyone should watch her full interview.

https://news.sky.com/video/comedian-lucy-beaumont-i-offered-to-pay-legal-fees-for-woman-who-signed-walliams-nda-13610774

Bravo👏

Hi all. Here's our new thread. Giving Rainbow a break and until Reastie returns. Sorry there wasn't a more inspiring title, didn't spot any comedy typos this time.

This is intended as a friendly, kind, safe, warm and fuzzy place for people to share discounts, bargains and Christmas gift ideas both online and IRL. Please note the tone and intention of the thread and join with spirit as generous as DC helping themselves to the Christmas chocolate celebrations

Here’s some useful information about how to save the thread or a specific post so you don’t need to have a message to check in for every thread so you have the thread saved:

To watch the thread - click on the little bell that has ‘watch’ under my first message. This adds the whole thread to your ‘watched threads’

You can also bookmark a specific post by clicking on the ‘bookmark’ under the specific post. This saves your exact place in a thread but doesn’t alert you to new replies.

If you have any referral links or codes, please share them on the referral thread here:

www.mumsnet.com/talk/christmas/5444936-bargain-referrals-thread-8

A reminder that we don't use affiliated links on here please

🎄 Emoji to copy if required for posting bargains as some agree this makes deals easier to spot. (or post in bold)

Can I ask for advice on how to handle this situation

I’ve been in a relationship with a man for 3 years , living together for 1. No kids (I’m mid 40s, he’s mid 50s). He was with someone for 20 years, 1 university aged child, she seems fine with him so no red flags there (she left him for someone else)

For the first time ever he shouted at me today … the reason was I heard a noise (worried it was a rat) and shouted for him to come down quickly (in case he could hear)

Apparently ‘being asked to drop everything’ is annoying to him. I explained that it was urgent…
This is v out of character- he’s usually v mild mannered

For context we are due to get married in a few months - I am the high earner in the relationship and it’s my house (he does a bit of freelancing)

Im concerned as I’m a bit vulnerable at the moment having lost my job 2 weeks ago (so now at home in the day focusing on my job search). I think he misses having the house to himself in the day & may be worried about money (he has serious savings from his earlier working life & inheritance)

I left & went back to my home office

Planning to tell him I won’t be yelled at (it might be overkill to say ‘so that again & the wedding is off /you need to leave’ - or maybe not?)

Anything else I need to do? Like refuse to spend time with him etc..?

Wary as my cousin’s (now ex) H started becoming abusive after marriage & ramped it up after pregnancy…

I can manage financially alone & fund most things including mortgage anyway

WWYD? Any advice for me please?

Welcome back everyone. New thread just in time for Black Friday.

How is everyone's self restraint looking? 😂😂😂

Fingers crossed for some good bargains this year especially all those advents that haven't sold out. We've probably bought some of those already but let's ignore that.

Happy bargain hunting. 😍

I am attending a wedding in December. I've decided I want a mini dress as my legs are my favourite asset. For context, Im early 30s, short, size 14 and suit strong colours or black over paler colours. Anything Ive seen is a bit too informal. Has anyone seen any that would be suitable? TIA

We don’t have the biggest house and our very small dining table is in an alcove in the lounge, we pull it out for meals but there is 6 of us squeezed around this 4 seater table with 2 extra chairs.
Last year we decided to do a cold meat buffet instead and just have our plates on the sofa and it worked so we’ve decided to do the same again.
This year ds has a girlfriend and has asked if she can come for Christmas and I explained it will only be buffet but he’s unimpressed and says she’s from a posh family and would expect a traditional roast dinner.

Aibu to say we can’t cater for anyone else? We don’t mind if she wants to come for a while or even for some of the buffet but I will not be cooking a Christmas dinner.
Ds is concerned about her reaction to a non traditional roast.
We have met her once and I did put on a similar cold meats buffet back in the summer but she didn’t eat anything.

I know this is a controversial subject but I WILL be getting my daughter one. Can I afford it? Not really? Would she be the most appreciative and really value and love it? YES? So I am treating her to one.

but there are so many! Help me decide or give me ideas links welcome 🙏 I keep seeing them everywhere

Ideal budget 50-80 no more than 80

im not going to justify why I’m getting her one
she basically just deserves it and spent so much time and appreciation on her one I got her last years which was a Sephora one - can’t find the link but it was around £50 I think

she’s a 15 year old girl teen

I’ve noticed that when you’re considered an attractive woman, simply being around certain couples can create unnecessary tension. It’s almost as though some women assume you must be interested in their partner or that their partner must be interested in you, purely because of how you look. I’ve experienced this sort of thing since I was a teenager and I find it incredibly irritating.

I’ve never pursued another woman’s partner, never had an affair with someone else’s partner and never behaved in a way that would suggest I was interested. Yet sometimes it feels as though your mere presence is enough for people to make assumptions about your intentions.

AIBU to think it’s unfair to treat other women as potential threats simply because you find them attractive?

We have two pre school children, I went out on a Christmas work do and met a man. We swapped numbers and I left it at that. Months later, I felt disconnected with DH, we were arguing and I wanted an escape. I contacted the other man and we met for drinks, planned to have sex but I couldn’t go through with it, I felt too guilty. We ended everything, all communication and only recently I’ve told DH about it. It’s been a week and he is constantly berating me, asking in depth questions then still being intimate with me. I understand, but it’s constant, almost every conversation he points towards the fling. We are arguing more than ever. I’ve realised where I went wrong and I’m going to seek therapy for my issues but that’s not enough for him, he is constantly punishing me. Will it get better in time? I’m just looking for some advice.

For the first year we were dog friendly all year round. For the last two years we’ve only allowed dogs 1 April -1 October.

It’s just so much easier , cleaner, less upkeep etc that I’m thinking just to not revert back in April ?

my friend (dog owner) thinks I’m being ridiculous and said that it will annoy a lot of people. My staff agree with me as the cafe is so much nicer when we are dog free .

Hey. Just a heads up for anyone with blue light card. There are tickets for the four shows at Manchester this weekend for 3.25 per ticket just posted on the app. The original tickets were really over priced so think they have struggled to sell. Just got four for £13 for the Saturday show. We went last year but the cost this year was not worth it but £3.25 is a bargain!

Thinking of booking it for DH's pressie ... which will also benefit me 😃

Good reveiws online, but wondered if anyone on here had done it, I'm looking at London but would be helpful to hear about any city.

I have recently sacked my hairdresser and am now doing my own hair colour at home. I'm mid 50s with dark hair which goes grey fast.

I don't mind doing my own roots but need recommendations of products/dyes as free from toxins as possible and cover grey and won't make me look like I've got a barcode on my head as it grows out.

Please recommend what I should use ❤️

Can I use Clairol Nice and Easy more than once it's all mixed up? How long does it keep for?

Also I think grey hair looks sexy and amazing on other women and I don't think grey hair on other women makes any woman look old. It's another colour to me and I think a lot of women rock grey hair!
I just would not look good with it and will probably be 'Improbable Chocolate Brown' in my 90s and nobody will ever convince me otherwise, I don't think it makes me look 20 it's just makes me look like me.

Any help or tips on doing my own colour and eliminating the grey as it grows through gratefully received.
I've had my colour done at the salon for the past 12 years

Name changed for this because it’s embarrassing but been here for years.

A few months ago the outside of my left breast felt itchy for a few days. Irritating, but no obvious redness, lumps or warmth. Just itchy. In the shower I decided to massage it out and a few drops of green/grey fluid came out of my areola.

Instant relief. Like squeezing a throbbing spot. Did it a couple times over the next few days and it seemed to resolve itself.

Now it’s happened again. I’ve had a good feel around, no lumps or bumps, redness or dimpling. Just itchy again and lo and behold in the shower this morning the same thing has happened. Same breast/area.

I haven’t breastfed or been pregnant for almost six years.

I’m incredibly time poor and last on the list of priorities - I’d really rather avoid a docs appointment to say “I can squeeze green fluid out of my breast” but has this happened to anyone else?! Any pearls of wisdom that it’s normal and will resolve or do I need to see someone? Is it something sinister or just one of those things.

I have no symptoms of infection, I just really don’t want to be Mrs gangrene tits.

I didn't even know she was the one, and when I clicked, it was too late, already sold. Pic attached - grey, purple and yellow. Gorgeous colours in the right ratios, wool, just the right shape. I can't find another anywhere else (well, some Chinese knock off sites that I can't imagine deliver on their promise) and haven't found an alternative. The second pic could have been another vinted contender but angora in the mix nixed it for me. I saw these https://www.wolfandbadger.com/eu/lola-sweater-in-multicolor-multicolour/ & https://www.wolfandbadger.com/eu/striped-stitch-maya-crew-multicolour-stripe/ but they are too expensive not to be right.

I'm looking for boxy, wide stripes and jewel tones, in merino, wool or cashmere (or mix). No angora, mohair or acrylic. I have considered knitting one myself but I'm painfully slow at the best of times, currently exacerbated by actual shoulder pain. I'd pay £200-300 because I'll wear it forever. Very grateful for any suggestions

I’ve realised I like lots of little things to open rather than one big thing. What little things (from £5 to £30) are on your own Christmas wish list?

DD has just turned 18 and this is her second boyfriend. She was with her first one for a year and has been with this other lad for 9 months. They met at the college in our town (he lives 20 minutes away by car or 30 minutes by bus). He passed his driving test about 8 months ago. But he’s only been to our house about 5/6 times and my DD ended up going by bus to his and now he drives them. So when they’d bus it to his we had to go to his and collect her.

The BF is into football as is my DH but in the few times he’s been here (they’re usually upstairs), my DH can’t even get him to engage on football. I’ve barely spoken to him as he doesn’t seem to want to engage.

We’ve invited him via DD to join us for meals etc. She's had meals with him, with his extended family. She seems to be the one driving any plans to meet up and he seems to have slotted her into one evening a week slot. He’s also now got a weekend job both days until early afternoon. the most recent thing is him suggesting they don’t buy each other lots for Christmas. When they first started talking, it took him 3 months to officially ask her out despite her being very blunt saying she wanted to be his girlfriend.

Is this typical behaviour? From the outside this feels really low effort on his part. DD is pretty defensive about boyfriends so hasn’t complained about him but it all feels a bit strange. She’s the one it seems driving plans, making effort etc.

Hiding the brief about Christmas ads so that their colleagues at John Lewis didn’t get it while Waitrose nailed theirs

We’re both in our 30s and have been friends for around 15 years. I have a 1yo son and am a SAHM. My friend doesn’t have children and doesn’t want any for the foreseeable future, if that’s relevant.

Since having my son, he comes pretty much everywhere with me: shopping, errands, meeting friends, museums, restaurants, family visits etc. He’s a fairly calm child and I enjoy having him around. I have plenty of family who could look after him, but unless there’s a reason he can’t come, I generally just take him with me. He’s also happier with me than any other caregiver so I really don’t see a reason to leave him. Obviously, my social life looks a bit different now. I go to fewer bars and fancy restaurants and see friends less often (because long journeys and child-unfriendly venues aren’t always practical), but I’m genuinely not bothered. It’s just a different season of life and I’m enjoying it, probably more than I enjoyed pre baby life.

This friend has seen me 3 times in the last year: once at my house when DS was 2–3 months old, once for a walk in the summer and once at a pub to celebrate a milestone of hers, where I stayed for about an hour with DS asleep in his pram. She recently messaged saying she missed me and asking if we could go for coffee or lunch. I said of course and asked when. She suggested a day and then asked, “Do you have someone to leave DC with?” I was a bit taken aback. Why would I need to arrange childcare for a casual coffee or lunch? If we’re going somewhere child-friendly, I don’t see why he can’t come. Honestly, if it’s just a social catch-up and he can’t come, I’m not particularly keen to go either. I’d obviously make exceptions for things like weddings, funerals or medical appointments, but I don’t feel the need to leave him behind just for the sake of it.

AIBU? Should I make more effort to see friends without my son, or is it reasonable to expect casual daytime meet-ups to accommodate him?