What are the times when you wish you could disappear when your kids have said or done something in public.

Walking home from school and got talking to someone I sort of know just from both living in the same place. We moved house recently (only a few streets over), which this person knew (it's a small community!) - relevant because of the direction the conversation took.

Anyway, we were talking about school and sleep (we have similarly aged children at the same school), and I mentioned that we'd been up in the night with our little one, but my husband fell asleep with them in their bed. They questioned how my husband and little one could comfortably sleep in a single bed together and I explained our little one has a double bed so it's fine. They then commented why have a double bed for a child and something about children needing room in their bedroom for toys / to play. I explained that the bed and mattress were hand-me-downs (they were like new) and our little one has the biggest room in the house so there's plenty of space for everything.

They were weirdly disapproving and sort of rhetorically questioned, again, why a child has the biggest room in the house and a double bed. It was very odd. I did try to (carefully) explain that we have plenty of space so it makes sense to us, and we didn't do this when we were in the small house.

I mean, first, why would anyone else care about the bedroom and sleeping arrangements of someone else, in their own home? I find that so strange.

To us, it makes sense to put our little one in the biggest room - they have the most stuff and it means we can keep everywhere else organised and tidy! And the double bed was not only a freebie, which there is plenty of room for, but it is also so, so useful for bedtime stories, being they're when they're upset / poorly, or we just want to encourage a lie-in etc! I love that they have a double bed in their room!

It's not like we've always been in this situation. We used to live in a small house with just two ok-sized bedrooms and a box room, and it was a squeeze - we did a good job of keeping toys tidied away but it was getting more and more difficult. Our new house is quite large (we have five big double bedrooms) so we can easily have the set-up we've got and I feel it works best for all of us. It's not as though we've spoiled our child with the biggest room and squeezed ourselves into a box but this person acted as if we'd committed some cardinal sin!

Anyway, given their reaction, I want to ask AIBU to give our young child the biggest bedroom and a double bed?

Hi all, so I've posted before about my marriage being in trouble. My husband has now told me he wants to leave me. He needs to do things and wants to be on his own, maybe travel to China or South America. Ive been processing this the best part of 6 weeks. Doing okay most of the time. However, we also have 2 kids. 13 and 11. He now wants us to sell our home and move into town and live together. Im actually okay with this idea (about moving to town) but the living together while living separate lives is not sitting well with me. In a few years the kids will have gone to college etc so what happens then? He then floated the idea of buying 2 houses close to each other. Sounds great but this will cost the best part of 900k and our house is not worth near that. We have no mortgage currently. He seems to be loosing his grip on reality in that he thinks life will be great and money will come but im stressing about paying for everything. Kids are expensive, running a house is expensive. He also talks about us getting back together in a few years when we've had time apart. We can then rent the 2nd home. I think hes losing his grip on reality and am not sure whats going on. We are both early 40s. Anyone have any thoughts? Mid life crisis? There is definitely noone else involved but he has struck up a friendship with some people in their 20s who are in his gym and I am convinced this is playing a part. He spends a lot of time texting one of the 24yr old girls. She has a partner but i am starting to think she give him attention that he feels i dont. As his permanently stressed out wife.

Currently planning a surprise 30th birthday for my partner and catering it ourselves. It’s a family party so a mix of ages and some children there! Probably about 60-70 people coming.

I’ve never really done a buffet before but my current plan is this:

Ham sandwiches (1x platter)
Cheese sandwiches (1x platter)
Egg mayo sandwiches (1/2 platter)
Tuna sandwiches (1/2 platter)

Cherry Tomatoes (500g bag)
Celery
Carrots (1kg bag cut into sticks)
Cucumber (2 whole cucumbers)
Pepper (1 pack of 3 peppers)
All served with various dips

Mini sausage rolls (50)
Cocktail sausages (50)
Vegetable spring rolls (24)
quorn cocktail sausages (1 pack, only one vegetarian that I know of!)

Cheese & onion crisps
Sweet chilli crisps
Salted crisps
Tortilla chips
Onion ring crisps
(All one big share bag per flavour)

Chicken bites (72 pack)
Cheese pizza (x2)

Breadsticks (2 packs)
Coleslaw (1 pack)

Strawberries (2 packs)
Grapes (2 packs)
Watermelon (1)

Fairy cakes (24)
Mini flapjack (20)
Mini brownies (20)
Mini rolls (20)

Also doing some gluten free sandwiches and some gluten free cakes (only one person is wheat intolerant not coeliac so no cross contamination concerns)

Obviously a proper birthday cake as well!

Does this sound like a good spread of food? Too much or not enough?

Trying to stick to a budget where possible as the room hire was expensive!

Thanks in advance for advice!

Returned home to find my pear tree (back garden) stripped clean. No sign of any on the ground or anywhere nearby. I am gutted!!!! It was my best ever crop and those pears were a thing of beauty. Any ideas if any bird or animal could have done this is such an efficient and successful way?

The Rules:
-The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating
-Develop a thick skin
-Do not invest emotionally too soon
-It’s all BS until it actually happens
-Trust your gut instinct
-People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault
-Know your worth
-If it's not fun, stop
-Loo update is mandatory
-No dating the thread
-Treat others as you'd like to be treated
-Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
-The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future
If you're wondering if you're being too picky/should give another chance after the second chance/should try harder - the answer is invariably NO! You're not and you shouldn't. If this, now, is as good as it's going to get, the A game, then do you want what comes next?!
-OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item*

I'm probably going to sound really mean but my NDN out of the blue asked me today if some of her guests would be able to park on my driveway in a few weeks for her child's 2nd birthday party.

We have a DC who is the same age but they have never played or interacted so we defo wouldn't expect an invite or want one either.

We are literally waiting for handover for our new home so it's not like our kids would ever play interact anyway when we move.

For back story we don't really get on, she's very nosey and always talking about people, been the perpetrator of anti social behaviour and the moans about other neighbours doing stuff.

I have tried to remain civil as they live next door to me but last time prior today I saw her 3 months ago and said hello but she was very reluctant to say it back but did say "hi" but could tell she didn't really want to speak so we have just ignored each other since.

They have quite a few issues with other neighbours so it's not just me.

But when she asked me when I declined straight away without even thinking about it and walked back into the house.

AIBU?

Hope I'm not tempting fate with that thread title
This is intended as a friendly, kind, safe, warm and fuzzy place for people to share discounts, bargains and Christmas gift ideas both online and IRL. Please note the tone and intention of the thread and join with spirit as generous as DC helping themselves to the Christmas chocolate celebrations .

Here’s some useful information about how to save the thread or a specific post so you don’t need to have a message to check in for every thread so you have the thread saved:

To watch the thread - click on the little bell that has ‘watch’ under my first message. This adds the whole thread to your ‘watched threads’

You can also bookmark a specific post by clicking on the ‘bookmark’ under the specific post. This saves your exact place in a thread but doesn’t alert you to new replies.

If you have any referral links or codes, please share them on the referral thread https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/christmas/5577375-bargain-referrals-thread

A reminder that we don't use affiliated links on here please (I think that's the term, let me know if I got that wrong).

If there’s anything you think would be useful or good to include in this post then please do tag me and let me know here (or DM me).

You are all wonderful and I’m now going back to my mince pie and stollen (never too early!).

Welcome to Thread 8 🥳

A huge thank you to @OvaHere, @JoRaRaRa and @Thelifeofawife, @solocat

for the previous threads, and to everyone who has been sharing spoilers, information. links, bargains, discount codes and enabling each other over the first 7 threads. ❤️

As agreed, we're taking it in turns to start each new thread this year. If this thread starts getting close to the reply limit, please post to let everyone know you're happy to start the next one so we can avoid duplicate threads.

🎅 A few festive housekeeping notes:

🎁 This thread contains spoilers.
🎄 Please be kind and respectful to one another.
💸 No judging anyone for their purchasing choices (or how many calendars they buy... we're all enablers here! 😂).
🎀 Feel free to share spoilers, offers, discount codes, GWPs, delivery updates and stock alerts.

🎁 Available Now:
Boots:
www.boots.com/christmas/advent-calendars/advent-calendar-waiting-list
Luxe £150
beauty-detective.com/boots-beauty-advent-calendar-2026/
Fragrance £90
beauty-detective.com/boots-12-days-of-scent-advent-calendar-2026/
Skin £70
beauty-detective.com/boots-24-days-of-skin-advent-calendar-2026/

Liberty – £285 (Beauty Drop members receive £25 off). Now on general sale:
www.libertylondon.com/uk/features/beauty/beauty-advent-calendar#

Unboxing
P. Louise – £250. Available to pre-order with payment instalments available:
https://plouise.co.uk/collections/wonderful-world-of-p-louise-advent-calendar/products/what-glows-around-2026-advent-calendar

John Lewis – £250. Available on pre-sale via the app for MyJL members:
https://beauty-detective.com/john-lewis-beauty-advent-calendar-2026/

Harrods Beauty Advent Calendar – £270. Now on sale online and in-store:
https://www.harrods.com/en-gb/p/harrods-of-london-the-harrods-beauty-advent-calendar-2026-000000000000284475
Harrods 12 Days of Hair & Body – £99. Now on sale online and in-store:
https://www.harrods.com/en-gb/p/harrods-of-london-the-harrods-12-days-of-hair-and-body-advent-calendar-2026-000000000000284465
Harrods Fragrance Advent Calendar – £225. Pre-sale sold out. Went on sale in-store 1/9 but appears to be completely sold out:
https://beauty-detective.com/harrods-fragrance-advent-calendar-2026/

Vogue Festive Calendar – £355. Available to pre-order:
https://shop.vogue.co.uk/products/vogue-festive-calendar-2026

Fortnum & Mason Beauty Advent Calendar - £275. Available now:
https://www.fortnumandmason.com/fortnums-beauty-advent-calendar-2026

Fenwick 25 day beauty advent calendar - £250. Withdrawn due to problems with the ingredients list. When/if it will return is unknown:
https://fenwick.co.uk/products/fenwick-fenwick-beauty-25-day-advent-calendar-2026

Anthropologie 24 Day Beauty Advent Calendar – £98. Available now:
https://www.anthropologie.com/en-gb/shop/24-days-of-beauty-advent-calendar5

The Fragrance Shop - Available for pre-order £120 members, £150 non-members.

Women's Advent Calendar:
^https://www.thefragranceshop.co.uk/the-fragrance-shop/the-fragrance-shop/gift-box-advent/p/76306

Men's Advent Calendar:
^https://www.thefragranceshop.co.uk/the-fragrance-shop/the-fragrance-shop/gift-box-advent/p/76307

Selfridges
Beauty & Fragrance £250. On sale 1/9:
https://beauty-detective.com/selfridges-beauty-advent-calendar-2026/

Fragrance - current thinking is that this will cost £225 and launch around 30/9-1/10:

https://beauty-detective.com/selfridges-fragrance-advent-calendar-2026/

Elle £197 or £187 if you joined the waitlist or with MissBoux’s code available on her unboxing video:

https://beauty-detective.com/elle-advent-calendar-2026/

LookFantastic Beauty. Available for pre-order:
https://www.lookfantastic.com/p/beauty-box/the-beauty-advent-calendar-worth-over-665/17691363/

LookFantastic Fragrance. Available for pre-order:
https://www.lookfantastic.com/p/beauty-box/the-fragrance-advent-calendar-worth-over-530/17691405/

Glossybox. £90 or £75 for subscribers. Code: KAREN5 may give £5 off the £90. Available now:
https://www.glossybox.co.uk/p/beauty-box/glossybox-2026-advent-calendar-worth-over-645/17691528/

OK Beauty Box advent/Hannah Martin. Available now £109:
https://www.okbeautybox.co.uk/products/the-ok-beauty-box-advent-calendar?srsltid=AfmBOoppTH5x1vrf3PT8oCWpKiUj111T5PdA8IBPKCjA9SYOpugUFCBJ

Cult Beauty £245 - £20 gift voucher back when buying at launch 03/09 early access.
https://www.cultbeauty.co.uk/c/advent-calendar/

Harvey Nichols: Due to the recent takeover, it’s unclear if these a/cs are still going ahead for 2026. Details TBC.

Beauty:
https://www.harveynichols.com/harvey-nichols/harvey-nichols-beauty-advent-calendar-2026-75896-258491/

Fragrance:
https://www.harveynichols.com/harvey-nichols/harvey-nichols-12-days-of-fragrance-advent-calendar-2026-75906-258490/

John Lewis Fragrance £99 - appeared briefly for sale 1/9 online but this seems to have been a glitch. The calendar is either out of stock or withdrawn. It MAY reappear 21/9, (its original release date):

https://beauty-detective.com/john-lewis-fragrance-advent-calendar-2026/

Space NK £275 - available now in-store and online:

https://www.spacenk.com/uk/gifts/beauty-advent-calendars/beauty-advent-calendar-MUK200063764.html

Oh My Cream £195 with 20% off for new customers with code: WELCOME20:

https://ohmycream.co.uk//products/advent-calendar-lrnce-oh-my-cream?

YESSTYLE: $164.99 5% off with code: PAULAYES

Early access: 29/9 3am GMT
General access: 6/10 3am GMT

https://beautycalendar.com/yesstyle-advent-calendar-2026/

Sephora UK

Sephora Favourites: £235 available for pre order:

https://www.sephora.co.uk/p/sephora-favorites-advent-calendar?

Next £150 available now:
https://beauty-detective.com/next-beauty-advent-calendar-2026

Debenhams £120
https://www.debenhams.com/pages/beauty-advent-calendar

PURESEOUL £140 (first year they are doing an advent)
beauty-detective.com/pureseoul-advent-calendar-2026/

Holland Barrett: £60 - available now:

https://www.hollandandbarrett.com/shop/product/beauty-advent-calendar-6101407249?

Diptyque: £420 - available now:

uk.diptyqueparis.com/en-uk/products/advent-calendar-25-scented-treasures-xm26advent?

Jo Malone: £375 - available now;

https://www.jomalone.co.uk/product/26322/107822/gift-sets/christmas-kist-advent-calendar?

Jo Loves Waitlist:
https://www.joloves.com/pages/a-jo-loves-advent-calendar?

💄 More Calendars & Spoilers
Rather than making the opening post a mile long, here's a brilliant roundup of lots more advent calendars and the latest spoilers, including Charlotte Tilbury, Elemis, Lancôme, Tatcha, NEOM, Neal's Yard Remedies, and many more as they're announced:
👉 ^https://beauty-detective.com/category/beauty-advent-calendars^/ 👈

I'm baffled at the number of people on Mumsnet who struggle with the most basic social interactions and find making friends to be traumatic, but have found a life partner to settle down and have kids with.

A significant number of posters on here struggle with friendship or social interaction to various degrees, manifested in the extreme in the declarations that they "hate people", "don't want new friends", find friends to be too much "drama" and only want to spend time with their families. There is a classic of the genre running at the moment in which an OP has taken umbrage at a coworker making fairly mild friendly overtures to her as a gross invasion of her privacy. (But admits that she met her partner at work?) Or just at the milder end of the spectrum the huge amount of anxiety which making new friends seems to generate.

I genuinely don't understand why people who have managed to find an intimate relationship in which to have children can find the prospect of exchanging words outside the school gate or sending a text to a coworker so traumatic.

I found attracting a partner and building a relationship to be a far more fraught and involved process than making friends: there's so much more to lose, so much more vulnerability needed and the prospect of loss of face and self-esteem in the process of dating is far greater than in making friends. But texting someone (platonically) to ask if they want to have a coffee seems to spiral posters into paroxysms of self-doubt. The "school mum" threads are a whole sub-genre in their own right, where the paranoia and suspicion is often seriously irrational.

Why do people find it relatively easy to find a partner but finding friends so difficult? From my perspective it should be the other way around.

Farage receives second £36m donation in two days.

Reform’s biggest donor Christopher Harborne matched record donation given on Friday by fellow cryptocurrency billionaire Ben Delo

Unless you really need to eat.
so obviously lots of sympathy to kids who are Neurodiverse.
But went out to lunch this afternoon, quite an expensive place ordered the food and wine and a family sat down kids on iPads, no problem, the volume really low.
voices are starting to be raised, the parents shush ,then I look over and so don't worry it's no problem.

This then escalate from raised voices and slight frustration to the kid spitting across the table shouting and swearing. I literally can't focus on what my friend is saying because of the shouting and the swearing from kids who like primary School age next to me.

I work with kids - you know what I've loads of sympathy, but I don't spend my weekends wanting to have kids spitting next to me.
I go to the restaurant and calmly ask the wait staff if we could move around this corner out of vision of the Family.
By then, the dad has gone home with one, the mother and other kids stay to continue the meal.
I have kids who are not Neurodiverse, but even though were a pain in the arse when we went out to restaurants, therefore would avoid eating out , certainly not to place at lunchtime. It would be like pizza early doors.

Is this unreasonable?

NC for this. I know landlords aren’t always popular here.

I own and manage a few HMO’s in a nearby city. All legal requirements fulfilled, and normally have long term tenants.

I woke this morning to a host of missed calls.
One of the tenants, who has been fine for several years, invited his friend/ relative to stay for a temporary period as she was having issues with her landlord.
He did not discuss this with me or the other tenants.

Tenants are of course allowed visitors, including overnight for a day or two ( longer if they are visiting from abroad, etc. it’s pretty flexible).
The Tenancy Agreement is very clear that visitors visit the person, and they should never be left unsupervised in the property or given a key.

Around 6 weeks ago I was at the property for a routine treatment. The visitor was there alone. I had to ask her to leave as harmful chemicals were being used.

I had a chat with the tenant later and he explained it was a one off emergency.

It later transpired after complaints from other tenants and some unexplained damage that she was living in the property.

That was a problem. She had no primary address elsewhere and her presence took the property into the next level of HMO, meaning it needed to be registered.
The penalties for not registering when required are severe.

I told the tenant he needed to tell her to leave.

He did so and was met with a lot of resistance, but eventually she went, only to return in the early hours some days later. He felt he had to let her in.

He asked for my help to get her to leave. She refused, saying the council had told her that I’d have to get a court order to evict her.

Legal advice was that he invited her in and once he told her she was no longer welcome we could change locks when she was out.

She actually went out without a key and whilst she was gone he put her belongings in a locked shed outside, offering to open it when she needed.

That was about a week ago. I thought it was sorted. The calls in the early hours were from my tenant and the police asking if I would agree to her staying the night.

I would have said no and fortunately as they couldn’t reach me she was not allowed in.

This woman clearly has problems. I’d say she is vulnerable, but the same council that was advising her not to leave my property, whilst refusing any sort of practical assistance, would also be the ones taking action against me for running an unlicensed HMO.

The tenant is being bullied by so called friends to let her stay. He is under a lot of pressure but I’ve had to tell him that if he lets her stay I will have to take steps to evict him.

I have told him that I will speak to any official bodies that are trying to pressure him, and to the ‘friends’
I wasn’t expecting to speak to the police at 2-3 am though. Apparently they weren’t happy with me and thought the tenant should be able to take her in.

Trigger warning - possible abuse. I’m really not sure.

DH and I going through a really rough patch. He’s had depression for years and years. Was checked out of our relationship at the start of the year. So I checked out. When he’s sensed this and sensed (rightly) that I’ve grown close to someone else he now suddenly ‘intensely’ loves me again. His words.

This intensity was huge over the summer. He’s always been very touchy with me, he says he’s tactile. But in the summer he was grabbing me more, grabbing boobs and my bits as I’m washing up. Couldn’t walk past him in a room without him slapping me, pushing me against a wall, onto the bed to grab me. I joked this was like living with an octopus. I told him it hurt, I told him to stop. He said he couldn’t help it if I was wearing leggings.
In the pool on holiday I couldn’t swim around him. He grab me, put his hands down my bikini, pull my bottoms up my bum. Full on kiss me in front of the whole pool, because I was too pretty for him to let go. Demanded sex a lot. He says he now knows he was overly sexual during this time because he wanted reassurance about our relationship.

Yesterday, during the night, he told me he thinks he was abused by his Dad when he was a child. He’s never said this before in 22 years. But it makes sense and I believe him. Their family dynamic is odd.
He said Dad used to grab and push him down and touch him whilst he was on top of him. I went cold. I had no sympathy because I realised that’s what he’s done to me.
Am I overreacting? I’m worried it’s not that bad really and my focus should be on him.

My daughter recently started high school.
I have a friend/neighbour who's son is a year older who from the start of term would wait for my daughter to walk to the bus together.
He's a pretty socially awkward kid, his mum has said she thinks he probably has ASD but there is no diagnosis as far as I know.
He was bullied quite badly at primary and my daughter says he does still seem get a hard time from some of the boys at secondary and doesn't really have friends that she's seen.

Daughter came to me yesterday and said she doesn't want to walk with him anymore, she says he pushes her around and tries to trip her up and is loud and rude to her other friends.

When she's asked him to stop the pushing he said 'I always do this with my friends', he then did it again and she pushed him back causing his earphones to fall off and he yelled at her in front of a crowd of people and stormed away.
When other friends from her own year try to talk to them on the bus he tells them to 'piss off', daughter asked him to stop because he was embarrassing her and he told her doesn't care if she's embarrassed. He'll tease and annoy her then say 'ohhh is the little first year upset, can you not take it' etc.

She's completely fed up with him, doesn't like him and doesn't want to be tarred by association with his behaviour but feels guilty/awkward about avoiding him because he is a target for bullying from other boys and I'm friends with his mum.

I've reassured her she absolutely does not need to put up with this and it's not her job to sacrifice her own comfort for the sake of his difficulties, he's treating her badly therefore he's not a friend and that's that, the physical aspect especially has really angered me. It's also not her problem if it makes things awkward between the two adults, I can deal with that.
I helped her write and send a message telling him she'd be getting the bus without him in future and not to call for her.

My friend naturally worries about her son being isolated or picked on, there were two girls he would get the bus with last year who he said 'ditched him' but it strikes me he was likely acting out on them like he has done with my daughter now.
I think friend had hoped having my daughter there would give him at least one friend.

Would you be honest with friend about how his own behaviour is contributing to how he's perceived at school?
Or just reassure daughter she's not obligated to spend time with him and leave it at that?

My poached eggs are a bit hit and miss and I keep seeing adverts for microwave steamers. Does anyone have one and are they any good?

DC will be 17 this Christmas and for the first year I'm at a bit of a loss for what to get her. She has a p/t job that pays well so buys her own clothes and make up. Hobbies seem to have dropped off recently, other than some sports commitments which she doesn't need anything for.

She is keen to learn to drive, then travel then go off to uni - but that won't be for another year.

I've always had brilliant gift inspiration from these threads so would love ideas from parents who have experience of late teen Christmasses. Oh and she still loves a stocking!

Please help me find this top..

I have damaged one belonging to someone else..

Brand: Save the Queen from Italy.. not on their website and I have already emailed them..

Although some of the skirts and dresses I’ve bought in recent years have pockets, I have plenty of older clothes that don’t, that I would like to be able to wear without worrying about where I’m going to put things, especially at work when I only have my rucksack and I’m just popping to the toilet or to another office. I’m not surgically attached to my phone but do sometimes need to take it with me, or have other small bits (tampons, tissues, lip balm etc etc) that I need.

Is there a solution that does not involve me learning to add pockets? Much as I’d like to learn to sew at some point, I simply don’t have the time, inclination or equipment, and some fabrics (e.g. leather or satin) are going to be tricky for skilled people, so no matter how simple it is, it’s not an option for me!

The only thing I can think of other than a bumbag is one of those money belt things you used to get for airport travel - think my dad had one in the 80s! Does a stylish version of this exist? Or something better?

Bought these ball plants from B&Q last September - they look like I haven't watered them but I have. One has started to show life again and the other has not. What's happened - and what do I do to fix it?

Basically I have a leak in the upstairs spare bedroom. I have tried to work out where it is coming from but access to our loft is difficult (we live in like a dormer style three bed).

I think it is basically coming from a joint in the corner of where the chimney meets the roofing. Whilst it’s not dripping the area is clearly damp and its got a patch around 30cm each side from the corner of the room where it is.

I have called round and finally found someone who sounds decent and reliable but they can’t come until Friday so essentially another week. Given I have only just noticed it I am now worried that this has been happening for a long time and god knows what damage is done inside the loft.

I am a lone parent with no family and whilst I have good friends obviously this is all on me and I am panicking. I have an emergency home policy which I will call tomorrow having noticed this today but it says only the immediate repair is done. My concerns are…

What happens if the loft is completely rotting?

What if wet rot or even dry rot has spread?

Will a builder check the loft as standard when looking at the leak or just go up to the roof and fix from outside?

How will I deal with the actual patch on the wall?

How much do you think this will cost if I don’t go via insurance?

I don’t have a lot of money to fix these sorts of things despite saving and I am so so worried as my little girl is only 2 and I feel like I have completely let her down. I should have kept on top of the house and literally did not notice this. Any advice really really welcome

I’m trying to declutter well in advance of downsizing. It’s a nightmare. I don’t want to just bin things that anyone else could make use of, and some of the things are expensive so it just feels wasteful.

We have a charity shop drive through (amazing) but I work full time in another town and can only go occasionally. Then they often won’t take a particular item - such as pictures - because they already have loads.

Vinted, eBay etc are so much work and can be hit and miss with people messing you about. I really cannot face a car boot. Even listing on Facebook for free is admin.

and what about things like old travel books? Can they just go in recycling? Card or paper? What about cosmetics and make up thats unused? You end up driving stuff round in the boot for months without getting rid of it.

A good friend confessed she just bins stuff but I cannot do that in good conscience. I can understand why it’s tempting though after spending all afternoon sorting and not evicting very much.

I detest AI and this isn't helping! AIBU to be a tad concerned?
More than 10% chance AI 'could kill all humans', Anthropic researcher says - BBC News
Not that there's anything I can do about it, apart from continuing to not use AI where possible...

Help help help please, MN hive mind!

I need a formal evening dress for a glitzy work dinner. Lots of famous-type people going to be there. Big, full on, black tie occasion. I need to look serious ish (it's work) but also sort of glam.

I'm 5ft 6, size 8-10. Thin and bony on top but need a bra (so nothing backless). Fat arse, short legs.

Open to anything on the dress. I suit burgundy, emerald green, jewel type colours. Oh and I'm blonde.

Want to spend £100 max but don't want anything crap (!) May also need new shoes/bag. Heeeeelp...

I don't give a crap about the leaves in the front and back garden, yes it looks lovely when all tidy but I have enough to do.
I work part time, very part time, but I do everything else, all in the house, food shop, cooking, washing, care of Dc, school runs, school meetings, bill payments, dog walks, vets, picking up dog poo, everything.
Literally the only thing I cannot be arsed doing is sweeping up all the leaves every day. I've never said it needs to be done and have never done it as don't care either way.
Dh always sweeps and sorts garden, great, it looks nice, but no one says he has to.
Second time tonight after work that he was storming around angrily, muttering under his breath about having to be the one who always does it, slamming around angrily.
The last time he made a comment, I told him outright that i'm not doing it on top of doing every other single thing in the house and with Dc.

It's because I only work a few hours.

Aibu or is he?