DH has bought something for the house without mentioning it to me and I am honestly a bit annoyed.

It was about £40 so its not like he's gone mad or anything but its something we absolutely did not need and I would have rather the money went towards other things tbh.

I only found out because the parcel turned up and when I asked what it was he said he'd ordered it a couple of days ago. I said I wish he'd mentioned it first and he said why, its hardly a big purchase and he doesn't ask me before buying things for himself.

I do see that point but I don't really think its the same when its something for the house? Especially when we've got other things coming up that we need to pay for.

I am not saying he needs to ask permission every time he spends money btw. If he wants to buy himself something with his own money then obviously thats different. But if its coming out of our joint account for something that is basically unnecessary then surely its reasonable to discuss it first?

He thinks I'm being controlling and making an issue out of nothing.

AIBU?

I met a woman through a local hobby (fitness group) that I volunteer for. When she became pregnant she stopped training. We realised we live on the same street (six houses apart) and I began going swimming with her to help keep her fitness up. I don't love swimming but it was nice for the company and it meant we could share a (my) car.

She messaged after she had the baby but said no visitors. Then when baby was there months old she offered to call over so I could meet him. I was delighted, had a gift, made the place comfortable for them both. She called over and stayed four hours even thought I was feeding DC around her. I was expecting a much shorter visit and had to get firm explaining I needed to get DC ready for bed. She ate dinner and dessert too.

Then she suggested visiting again so I said yes but let's go for a walk this time with baby and stop at a coffee shop. Three times she has come then said no it's easier to just come in, I've no blanket, it's going to rain, my hip is sore. Every single time I have to ask her to leave after the visit drags on saying "I'm sorry I have things to do" repeatedly. The last time she firmly said she wouldn't as baby was sleeping and she couldn't disturb. Then when he woke up she started setting him up for feeding and I had to carry him to his carrier, open the door and walk them home.

I don't have time to sit and chat for hours. I understand she's lonely but we aren't close friends and she never actually asks me about myself or let's me talk so it doesn't even feel like a friendship developing. I feel like some sort of public service that's there to support her keep her spirits up while she can't exercise with us.

A few days ago was the final straw. She had messaged and instead of ignoring it (as she often turns up then regardless) I replied and said don't call over, I'm far too busy. She read the message. My DH then came upstairs and told me she was in the sitting room waiting for me.

I came down and quite bluntly said "I told you I was busy, so I don't know why you're here. I'll have to ask you to leave."

My DH was horrified and said to me afterwards he was very embarrassed that I would be so nasty. He walked her around with the baby and he's not off with me.

I hadn't really spoken to him about how much she was annoying me as I thought I just need to deal with it differently.

I don't know what I'm asking but I'm feeling shitty now.

As a quick summary...
Predicted 4/5 in English Language... but 7/8 in Maths and Sciences.
Provisional choice for A levels is Maths, Biology, Chemistry.
The Colleges want 5 in Eng Lang for Science GCSEs.
Undergoing assessment for Exam Arrangements as Dyslexia is suspected.

Will her struggles in English affect her ability to cope with Science A levels? Honestly?
Her ambition is Primary teaching.

FIL birthday this year and theyve planned a family holiday abroad but it’s 1.5k each and at Christmas time. I am unwell so I can’t go anyway and we can’t afford to spend money like that now I’m not working. We have 3 kids so looking at 7.5k for all of us.

DH desperately wants to go and I’ve just said go because I’m sick of hearing about it. I can barely manage taking care of myself some days but somehow I have to figure out with the kids.He’s going for 7 days and coming back on Boxing Day.

Can I ask would your husband do to this to you and your family or even consider it? Especially at that time of the year too?

Here’s the scenario
Mum and teenage son plan a 3 night trip to Europe. Mum intend her partner and also son’s friend. Apartment sleeps 6 (2 bedroom). Partner invites two relatives.

Apartment can’t be cancelled.

There was no mention of cost split when friend was invited, it has subsequently become clear a split is expected.

Partner and relatives are no longer going.

How much of the apartment cost should be attributed to the friend?

Christ, I hate grating cheese. If I have to grate, I buy it grated. (But not Parmesan because I'm not a savage)
also real garlic if it's going in a tray bake, but anything else I buy the frozen stuff from Tesco
Dried chilies instead of fresh, and cooked food
haven't sieved flour for 30 years yet unknown for my brilliant sponge cakes

Last night I went to a languages night at a local bar (everyone wears tags with what languages you speak so you can practice & socialise).

My friend and I ended up chatting to 2 guys from Qatar who were just in the bar, not for the language night. So asked what languages they speak and they said Arabic and then said we are Muslim. My friend asked if they were practicing Muslims and one of the guys asked why. My friend kind of dodged a reply and tried to change the subject but he asked why she asked if they were practicing and persisted on the question. My friend said something like ‘oh I just wondered because you are drinking’ (alcohol)

He got really offended so I tried to back my friend up and said that well I was raised catholic but I’m no longer practicing, some people aren’t. The conversation moved on and it was all friendly in the end.

AIBU to think that while the awkward moment probably could’ve been avoided, my friend was just asking questions to get to know them? To clarify, she was absolutely not judging them for drinking but they were in fact drinking so it was a fair enough question. Not everyone raised in a religion do practice it continually and that is perfectly fine. As I said we continued chatting and it was all friendly but I think it played on her mind a bit.

Im still using a Chanel eye shadow set, its 40 years old.

Is anyone Serbian or knows Serbia-
I can't get hold of my son and he doesn't have his phone on him, his friend has it.

This is very unlike him and I am worried sick

Help!
I need inspiration for a black tie event, but not sure where to look. Mid to late 40s, UK 12-14 and 5 foot 7; but have a wobbly mum pouch thanks to 3 kids, c-section etc.
I haven’t dressed up for years, and would love to feel and look wow!
Colour preference is silver, but possibly cream or white too. Aiming for glam, sexy and sophisticated.
Budget is around £100 but wiggle room for the wow factor 😉

[I categorically refuse to put the word ‘lighthearted’ in the title to indicate that Im not actually traumatised. Also because saying this post is lighthearted is just as facile as holding a little bus or building a Lego haus to illustrate my point.
See below.]

I realise that I don’t need to follow Mr B on instagram but I do and I’m feeling deeply patronised:

First a little toy bus (talking about buses innit), then a Lego house (building more Lego houses to amuse the homeless), a bit of cosplay by dressing up as a Sainsbury’s man of the people (to show that you can work at Sainsbury's and a sexy uniform is thrown in) and now… throwing a cowboy hat at the camera/phone to illustrate that cowboy builders are …cowboys.

Make it stop.

AIBU

Need urgent advice please because I don't know what to make of this and I'm incapable of keeping my emotions in! Months ago I found the back of an earring on my bed and confronted DH because I'm sure it wasn't mine, he was very convincing that there was nothing untoward going on. Naive as this may sound I don't think he's the sort that would cheat, I don't see how he'd even have the time for it (he works full time and we have 2 young DC). So I chalked it up to the cleaner/something I'd forgotten that got caught up and moved inadvertently.

This evening I have just found half a fake nail on my upstairs landing and I have no explanation of where it could have come from. I've fully panicked and managed to look through DHs phone. I didn't find anything on WhatsApp, Facebook or text messages.

I do not know what to do. I want to confront him because I'm terrible at hiding my feelings but I assume if anything IS going on he will just play it off again. What should I do? Apologies for the rushed and possibly incoherent message! x

Just had a lovely break in Austria. Stunning scenery - cable cars and peaceful panoramic walks - and apart from a couple of hotspots, not too overtouristed. Where else in Europe is like this? I know Swiss Alps are gorgeous but really concerned about it being too crowded.

https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/170771690#/?channel=RESBUY

Hear me out.

This is truthfully a 1 bed flat, by the way, but is advertised as 2 because technically the kitchen could double up as a sitting room, but a very small one.

Seller listed flat 1 year ago in Sept 2022. Home has had zero offers in that time and a 25k reduction. Originally listed for 375 when the downstairs flat, which has 3 beds, sold for 378k recently.

The flat has no central heating.

The seller paid 300k for the flat in 2022 when there was an inflated huge post-covid rise in home values.

Am I being unreasonable to offer 275? I think she massively overpaid. It's always devastating to overpay on a property and lose it upon selling, I really feel for her. I unfortunately lost 15k selling my first home so I know how this feels.

Average 1 bed flat in Bury St Edmunds is about 160k and the avg 2 bed is 180k.

Additional question: is a flat like this suitable to raise a child in down the line? It's 95sqm. No I don't care there's no garden. I don't want to spend time maintaining something I will use for maybe 20 days out the year.

EDIT: I know this seems a strange purchase but I am a strange person and so it does fit me, my needs and tickles me in the right places. I have very specific period feature desires that this ticks all the boxes of. But I'm not prepared to overpay just because the owner did.

Not 100% sure where to post this.

Basically practicing 4 and a half year old phonics, words and blending to keep up over summer holidays.

He started at a school nursery last year so has already been taught this in school.

Please can someone tell me what they think about this…

• He can read every single letter phonic sounds individually

• When I put the cards down next to each other in simple CVC and he has to read and blend them he cannot do it. He can only do cat and that’s because I think he has sight learned it.

• If I reverse it and give him 3 cards of any 3 letter word and say make ‘dog’, make ‘hip’, make ‘fig’ he can instantly spell out all the sounds and place the, down in the correct order. Ie. ‘F…I…g… FIG’

Is this normal. It’s like he can do it backwards in all circumstances but not forwards for the simplest words. So he does know how words and sounds are working.

Does this mean he could be dyslexic? His dad is severely dyslexic and it something I have been worried about hence working on the reading so early for him.

If so what does that mean? Do we have to teach in a different way?

He starts reception next week and they are brilliant, but he’s in a state school and he’s quiet so I do want to support in anyway I can so he doesn’t slip between the cracks.

Thank you

On the look out for a winter coat. Im 61, 5 ft 2 and a size 16 so would need something petit preferably. My idea is a belted wool coat, 3/4 length. Something I can wear to a night out but also with jeans and boots. I’ve tried to look already, with not much choice. Budget is around £150. TIA.

I moved into my new house about 2 months ago and the sellers keep ringing me. First I had to arrange for collection of items that they said the delivery company left. Now a parcel turned up and they asked me to forward it on which I've done. But now it continues, there are items they think they left in the house that they want and also a shelving unit that's screwed to the wall. Where does it end.

I’m desperate for Aldi to bring back their almond oil/body cream back - they’re lively dupes of the L’Occitane range. How do I find out if they are still selling them and when will they arrive?

Been dating for ten months. Both mid fifties and divorced for some years and both with adult children in their twenties.

Earlier today we popped into a local pub for a bite to eat. I'd just had minor surgery and was feeling huge relief and fancied a wee tipple as well. It was a busy Wetherspoons, Friday afternoon, loads of students and young people. The minute we sat down he could not take his eyes off four young women right in his line of vision. He commented as I noticed him staring, "oh look how she's almost wearing nothing, the top, it's backless, got no back at all" Then looking and looking. I looked around and four very pretty young girls sitting having fun. Yes a backless top. They all looked barely a day over 18. He then said "They look sooooo young. Like children... "

He stared and stared. Not long after they left. I only hope not because of him.

Then he said... "What shall we talk about then.... " He looked very embarrassed as I said nothing. I felt very uncomfortable.

A couple of weeks back we were out in a cafe and a group of girls came in, around 16 to 17 if not a bit younger at a guess. He stared and stared and said "Look at those teenage girls. I can watch exactly what's going on from where I'm sitting"

A few other times he has commented on teen clothing and how tight it is and done the staring thing.

Am I reading too much OK into this?

Shameless post for traffic

Whats the best and safest way to break a plug socket or even a light switch safely?
Any ideas ? I know its a strange ask 😆

My account has been restricted by Amazon. Because I violated their returns and refunds policy. I'm gobsmacked (sorry to those who hate that word).

I am only allowed to make digital purchases.

Have been with Amazon for over 20 years and there's never been any issues with my account.

Of late, yes, I have returned several items, for various reasons (faulty, etc) and several packages have gone missing as, despite my explicit instructions on my account, the Amazon delivery people continued to leave my parcels in an unsafe place. Mainly, the public entrance foyer of my block of flats. They are still doing this with parcels for other residents.

I have a gift card balance on the account of over £200 and I have been told that they will not be refunding this money to me. WTF?

This is made worse by the fact that I recently placed an order and applied the gift cards to that order, and it certainly looked as if the purchase had gone through, with the gift cards as payment. However, when I received my credit card statement, the payment had been taken from my credit card. So, I am now £170 out of pocket and have have a huge gift card balance that I can't use.

Please, can anyone offer any advice here? Is there ANYONE that I can appeal to at Amazon? Is it even legal for them to keep my money like this??

Thank you in advance. I'm totally blindsided by this.I cannot emphasise strongly enough that I am not a dodgy customer. There has never been ANY issues with my account up till now.

I'm so fed up but not sure whether I'm being unfair as it has been a 'cheap' holiday.

Dh and I had decided not to go away this year as we are trying to save to move house. Then pil said they had the opportunity to stay in their friend's villa in southern Europe for free and said they would cover our flights to get here and therefore we just needed spending money so here we are! But I hate it. We're in a remote place and dh or I are expected to do all the mountain road driving. Sil is also here and she has mobility issues and we are helping with this too - I suspect this is why we are here - to enable pil to have a holiday with sil that is manageable. By the way, we have 2 young children too (7 and 5) but they don't count it seems.

There is one small pool area where we are and nothing for the dc. In the house we are staying I am constantly reminded it is pil's friend's place and I need to respect it and clean up after the dc, which I do anyway and they're not that messy, and, yes, dh does it too, but I feel I'm being watched all the time. It's super-hot and we can't even go for a walk due to the heat and the fact we are in a small mountainous village with nowhere really to go,(though it is beautiful to look at, but that's no good with dc).

Although 'free' we had to arrange last minute care for our dog and I have work to do for my return last week (teacher) which I can do here in theory but in reality is hard as the dc have limited activities and therefore need entertaining. This was swept aside by mil as a concern when I raised it before coming - she rang me on my mobile, which is rare, to say I deserved a treat and she was insisting I come (I had suggested just dh going) and I think it was just to stop her feeling guilty about needing dh to help with sil, but I wish she had just said that and it would have been fine!

Last straw is we have just had dinner at the appartement and there were two small potatoes left in the bowl. I asked if anyone wanted them and no one replied. I took them and started breaking them up on my plate, when sil said loudly, 'look, Nant has kindly cut up the potatoes for us,' and took some off my plate. I felt like I had been berated for being greedy even though I asked before taking them and I'm just done. I don't want to be here and I'm here to support here and then being treated like a child.

AIBU in telling dh we are NEVER doing this shit again?

Looking for some perspective as I don’t know if I am being oversensitive and I should just forget it. Apologies in advance for such a long post.

DH and I have been together for over 20 years and have 3 DC under 12. Most of the housework and childcare falls on me and I also work part-time, and have taken on a lot more work recently. I’ve been on medication for depression and anxiety for a few years now and struggle with the overwhelm of the kids.

DH is very active and spends a lot of time exercising. I do not and this has been a long running issue. I am always tired by the evening and do not have much ‘me time’.

Over the last year or so I have put on weight and am around a dress size more than is normal for me. I am conscious of this but it feels a lot at the moment to overcome.

A few weeks ago, after a week of pretty much silence from him, DH told me that he felt sad about our lack of affection, and felt I didn’t make an effort anymore, etc. I reassured him that I still found him attractive and explained that I am exhausted and overwhelmed by the time it comes to the evening but that I would try harder and be more conscious.

Over the next couple of weeks, I felt self-conscious and a bit anxious so a week ago in bed, I asked him if it was when I wore certain things or if he found me unattractive all of the time, referencing our previous conversation. He said ‘what I said was that I didn’t think being attractive mattered to you anymore’. I said it does matter to me, I’m conscious that I’m too fat and that I plan to be really strict with myself going forward. He didn’t say anything in reply and after a while fell asleep. I couldn’t sleep for hours after that and I’ve been feeling awful ever since. I don’t want him to see me getting undressed and I can’t bring myself to be affectionate with him, etc. I don’t know how to move on from this.

I don’t know if I am being oversensitive and unreasonable to feel so upset and to not be close to him.

Sorry for such a long post!

Long story short but feeling a bit let down and sad - my daughter is due to have her party this weekend and handed out invites back in June before her friends at pre school and nursery finished for summer - we had so many invites declined for various reasons and in the last few days had at least 3 people pull out of her party. We still have plenty of children attending but some of the friends we invited we are quite close with and feel like they just couldn’t care less lots of ‘sorry to let you down’ but it’s just left a bitter taste in my
mouth. I always like to put effort into other friends and others we know but after this I just feel like why bother. I don’t know what I’m asking but just feel upset on my daughters behalf I know she won’t mind and will be too busy playing at her party to really notice I think it’s more me that feels hurt by the number of people that have either pulled out last minute or feeling like they have better things going on, when we have celebrated their child’s party in the past..

As there is already a thread on chat I thought I would link it here as it will drop off the other board.

Original thread: www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/5570978-hm-gov-telling-us-to-get-tinned-food-and-bottled-water

Link: https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2026/aug/25/uk-to-warn-citizens-to-stock-up-on-food-amid-threat-from-climate-crisis-and-hostile-states

Time to get in the winter supplies now before the candles and lanterns sell out. Very impressed with the new USBC Blukar battery lanterns after testing them this summer: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Blukar-Camping-Rechargeable-Lantern-Essentials/dp/B0GVNKNM6C