My DD has always been very good at Maths. In Year 6, she achieved Greater Depth in her Maths SATS (achieving 115/120). Since joining Year 7, she has been in a mixed ability Maths Set. In the work that has been sent home from Secondary and that is set on Sparx, she is getting 80% - 90% correct, independently.

We have just had a letter home today, advising that Maths will be set after half term, and my DD will be in Set 5 of 6! The letter also explains that she has been assessed as finding Maths challenging and not to worry about sets, every child will be assisted individually. AIBU to think the school doesn’t know my DD at all, and to send an email querying how they came to this decision? I fail to see how she can now be finding maths challenging and in Set 5 of 6, having achieved 115/120 in her SATS only months ago. Maths has always been a subject she has excelled in, right down to her KS1 Times Tables test where she scored 100%. BTW this is not a selective school or grammar, it’s mainstream state, so it’s not as though the department will be awash with Maths geniuses (in the least offensive way). I also don’t want to appear as a trouble maker or someone the school will be fed up with, but I think this needs to be questioned to find out what has gone wrong so to speak.

My husband thinks I shouldn’t say anything as the school will just think I’m a neurotic mum, I disagree and I think it needs to be dealt with and questions asked pronto - something has clearly gone drastically wrong either with the teachers assessment of DD or in the way DD is presenting herself in class?!

I am really struggling to find some nice ankle boots that will also be comfortable. I used to have some great ones from Russell and Bromley. I would prefer not completely flat - just a one inch block heel.

i bought some of those slightly taller chunky Chelsea boots that everyone has been wearing but I think my ankles are too narrow for them and so my heel moves and they are really uncomfortable.

Because I am aware of an individual who has set himself up as a counsellor who should not be anywhere near vulnerable people. He was previously a GP - he was my GP - but he isn't any longer. He's now got a web page that says he is a counsellor.

The problem is that when he was my GP he was problematic. He prescribed off label psychiatric medication to me and repeatedly arranged appointments in his GP surgery for me to "chat" to him. This off label medication actually caused huge problems for me. It had a lot of side effects and negatively impacted my life in terms of how I functioned including losing a job. I was eventually able to come off it when I went to IAPTS. But that took years.

In addition while I was under care of IAPTS I had cause to engage with GP services for my son, who had asthma. He had difficulty breathing and he was coughing constantly. I took him for an appointment with this GP. This was after I had engaged with IAPTS, been seen by a psychiatrist and stopped the medication he put me on. None of which is relevant to my son of course but during this consultation about my son he suddenly started going through my own medical notes and asking questions about how stable I felt, then he started asking "so your son, has he actually been diagnosed with asthma, or is it just what you are saying? He's got a bit of a cough and you are anxious" I knew then he would not help my son because he had got into his head some weird imagined symbiotic relationship that was threatened by me having an independent thought. So I waited until the out of hours GP service opened up, phoned them, took my son to see them and it was as I had feared, his oxygen level was 93%, he had asthma and needed treatment.

So, that's a long story and I'm sorry. But, I think it shows that he is an abusive individual. He wanted to have this kind of weird svengali relationship with me, and used his position as a GP to do it, and refused my son treatment for an unrelated issue because I had went against him

But, now, apparently he is a counsellor. Even though he is I think a harmful man, if not dangerous. Is there any organisation at all that I can report this chancer to?

Also: please be nice. This was difficult for me to write.

Light hearted

Nothing infuriates me more than trousers that are too short on both men and women.

Just been watching Monsters: Lizzie Borden on Netflix. The father (Charles Hunnam) arrives home, cue pan to his feet as he walks through the door. Trousers stupidly short.

In Victorian times I'm sure they wouldn't have been so stupid as to wear trousers too short. Charles Hunnam is 6ft tall. He's not a giant. Wardrobe malfunction 😆

title should say DB rather than DS!

DS (just turned 4) has always taken a bottle of milk to bed and had one in the morning when he wakes. We brush his teeth afterwards and his dentist hasn’t mentioned it so assuming all is fine.
This weekend my brother came down to visit from Scotland. He and SIL made repeated comments to me and DH about how DS was too old to be having a bottle.
AIBU to think he should stay in his lane? Particularly when he and SIL have a 2.5 and 3.5 year old and neither are potty trained! I think they need to take some of their own medicine before commenting on others!

Hi Mumsnet.
For some context, my mum died of cancer when I was 15 and my sister 10. My dad got with a woman after six months who was not nice and never tried to get to know us (they broke up for a week once when I was about 16 and my dad said "of course she always resented the fact that I had you two" then got back with her). He was loving but very often angry (now as an adult diagnosed myself I can see it was unchecked neurodivergent rage) but he has made many decisions I will never understand.
He paid for my uni trip to new York when I was 19 (about £800) and I lost my passport just before so couldn't go. I was cursing myself and so upset but he was furious and took my sister to Venice without me, to "teach me a lesson".
Now I live 300 miles away from him and sister which is not ideal, I miss them very much and sister often makes the journey up and stays for Christmas every year. I've recently had a baby and she has met them many times but my dad only three. He missed DCs first birthday because he had come back from bali 3 days before and didn't want to make the journey.
Now he and my sister have gone to Berlin together, without asking if I and baby wanted to come (I don't expect anyone to pay for me but he is well off and retired, and took 40k off mine and my sister's inheritance from our maternal grandmother to pay off a car he'd bought). I recently went to the Cotswolds as DH's uncle has a house there and asked my dad if he wanted to meet up at a bird park to see us and DC. We were an hour away. He said he was having lunch with his brother. He could do that any day.
Now both my dad and sister are sending me photos of them in Berlin. I've had one holiday abroad in ten years and am feeling a bit left out, more because they're spending time together than anything else. AIBU?

My son (27) moved out at 21 to live with his girlfriend and when that didn’t work out he rented a room in a shared house, he has always worked but lived hand to mouth and now he has lost his job.

He can’t afford to rent his room anymore as he is only going to get £400 a month in benefits and his housing benefit won’t cover all his £600 rent leaving a short fall of about £200, his car insurance is about £100 a month which he needs to get a job and his phone is about £50 a month which he needs to get a job and his car tax is due this month so even paying that monthly it all comes to more than he will receive.
I don’t have the means to support him as I am a full time carer for my disabled 4 year old.
My husband is not his dad and we only have a 2 bed house as our 4 year old was born after he moved out so now has his old room.
We have no space for him and I can’t expect my husband who is the only earner on a low wage to support a grown adult as well as his own wife and child.

He has mentioned that he might have to move back home but realistically we have a tiny lounge with a small corner sofa and two bedrooms so we don’t have room and if we did have our 4 year old in with us we have no idea how long that would be and he would be in no position to contribute financially and we only just scrape by as it is.
But… he’s my son and I need to help him as he is trying so hard to find a job and although this is his first month so he still has his wages left once his benefits start coming in he will not be able to afford his room.
I am so worried for him but I just don’t know how we can make it work, supporting him will be too much for my husband with no end date in sight.

Birmingham Airport – Appalling Hygiene Standards and Disrespectful Treatment of an Elderly Passenger
My experience at Birmingham Airport was profoundly disappointing. From the apparent lack of organisation to the unacceptable condition of the sanitary facilities, the airport fell considerably short of the standards I would expect from a major international transport hub. However, what disturbed me most was the manner in which a member of staff addressed my elderly mother.
My mother was 77 years old and living with Alzheimer's disease. During our visit, she politely approached a female member of staff to ask where she could find the appropriate check-in counter. It was a simple, perfectly reasonable question that deserved an equally straightforward and courteous response.
Instead, the employee spoke to her in a manner I found insolent, dismissive and deeply disrespectful. I was genuinely appalled by her tone and apparent lack of basic courtesy.
Whether the employee knew about my mother's condition is immaterial. Elderly passengers should not have to disclose medical diagnoses to receive patience, kindness and respectful treatment. My mother was polite, asked for assistance and deserved to be addressed with dignity. The way she was spoken to was entirely unnecessary and, in my view, indefensible.
What makes this particularly troubling is that airports are environments in which elderly passengers and people with cognitive difficulties can easily become confused or disorientated. Staff should be capable of recognising when a passenger simply needs a little patience and reassurance. Basic compassion should be an expectation, not an exception.
Unfortunately, the airport's physical environment did little to improve an already unpleasant experience.
The general organisation appeared poor, and the overall surroundings gave an impression of inadequate attention to passenger comfort and cleanliness. Most alarming was the condition of the toilet facilities. I encountered toilets that were visibly soiled with faeces, with faecal matter also present on the floor. The conditions were disgusting, unhygienic and entirely unacceptable in a public facility, let alone an international airport.
These are not minor cosmetic shortcomings. Clean toilets, clear information and courteous assistance are among the most fundamental expectations passengers should be able to have when travelling.
I fully appreciate that airport employees work in demanding environments and that busy periods can place considerable pressure on staff and facilities. Nevertheless, neither operational pressure nor passenger volumes excuse disrespectful conduct or such serious deficiencies in cleanliness.
What I find most difficult to accept is that my 77-year-old mother, living with Alzheimer's disease, could not ask a simple question without being addressed in a manner that I found so disrespectful. That experience has remained with me far more than the other shortcomings I encountered.
Birmingham Airport's management should seriously examine the standards of customer service, dementia awareness, staff conduct and sanitation being maintained throughout its facilities.
An airport should be judged not only by how efficiently it processes passengers, but also by how respectfully it treats them, particularly those who may be elderly or vulnerable.
My experience of Birmingham Airport was extremely poor. The unhygienic toilet facilities were unacceptable, but the treatment of my mother was, without question, the most offensive and disappointing aspect of the entire visit.
I sincerely hope the management takes such concerns seriously, because passengers and their families deserve considerably better.

Hi , I’ve been on HRT for 6 years which hasn’t been easy trying to find the correct dose which is still ongoing reducing my patch from 75 to cutting to 62.5 and 200 Utrogestan with the advice of my menopause Dr
Each time I’ve had slight spotting which has only lasted a couple of days Ive had to have pelvic scans

Last year I had spotting and my lining was 5.3 I spoke to a Gynaecologist after the scan and she said it was ok although it should be 4mm.

Then about 6 weeks ago odd spotting again I had a pelvic scan today and the lining is 5 but the lady said she’s sending a referral to Gynaecology.
I know that it’s going to be suggested that I have a hysteroscopy which I’m petrified about .

Has anyone been through this? Any advice please

Don't really know what my question is...I guess I just need to get this off my chest.

My boyfriend is entirely conflict-avoidant and maybe even generally avoidant, emotionally. Obviously I don't want to be arguing either, but I mean there are times he will flee because he suspects we're going to argue, because we've disagreed.
It's almost like he goes into flight/flight and just goes...but he can't see that in doing so, he's actually doing more harm than good.

I don't believe I'm an unreasonable person. I don't shout, I'm not unkind or aggressive.

He is VERY opinionated and it's almost like when I disagree with his opinion, or question his thinking, he then gets annoyed and walks off.
He'll then ignore me for hours. If i message or try to call, he will ignore me.
I'm aware it's not healthy and I'm definitely starting to see it as a red flag for stonewalling/control.

Today he told me I "turn everything into an argument" which is untrue. I don't.
I just think he can't cope with me having a different opinion to him.

I'm not chasing him. He can fuck himself right now to be honest!

I’m hoping you style gurus can help.
My DM is in hospital at the moment and my brother and I have been caring for our dad who has dementia.
Their NDN has been wonderful and we’d like to get her a gift. We’ve settle on a nice jumper, she’s not into jewellery and has every gardening tool you could want.
Shes in her late 70s, size 16-18 and is the sort of person who doesn’t buy herself things very often although could afford to.
She’s also my high school French teacher. I was thinking Brora, Seasalt, some weird fish might work. Eribe vibe but not price! Any thoughts on brands I could look at?

Do you still wear any?

I lived in skinny jeans, knee length boots, some sort of slim-fitting long top and a lightweight patterned scarf looped around my neck.

I have about two dozen of the bloody things I haven’t touched in a long time. Will I regret getting rid of them?

Can’t seem to find any grimms rainbows and don’t want to buy second hand in case it’s a temu knock off. Any brands that are tested and safe? Don’t want to buy anything from temu or Amazon knock off

This is intended as a friendly, kind, safe, warm and fuzzy place for people to share discounts, bargains and Christmas gift ideas both online and IRL. Please note the tone and intention of the thread and join with spirit as generous as DC helping themselves to the Christmas chocolate celebrations .

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<whispers> I'm starting to think about starting the wrapping soon :)

Im into my 50,s now and I seem to have lost my way, Ive not a clue what to wear anymore, i live in joggers, t shirts and trainers. I have a uniform for work. Ive gone through the menopause and im fat, im in a size 18/20. I used to love jeans but lately I cant stand tight clothing especially around my waist. Bras are doing my head in, just tight, ive tried comfort ones but they give no support to big boobs. Im not into floaty dresses, they make me look fatter.
When I look at styles for my age on the internet they look ancient, I also dont want to look like mutton. I want to look modern, classic but comfort cant stress the comfort, zero heels now days.
Help!

DS turned 10 yesterday and this morning before school he told me his birthday was rubbish. Apparently I should have got him one good present instead of a load of things he didnt actually want.

I spent about £110 altogether which is a lot for me. I got him a football, a football shirt, a lego set he’d mentioned wanting and a couple of smaller bits. Got his favourite cake as well and let him choose what we had for tea. Nothing amazing but I thought it was a decent birthday and he’d seemed happy enough opening everything yesterday.

The thing is he wants a Switch 2. Has been going on about it for months because one of his friends got one for his birthday a few months ago. He knew he wasnt getting one though because I’d already told him I couldnt afford it. He didnt even ask for one for his actual birthday this year, he’d asked for the other things I’d bought him, which is why I thought I’d done alright really.

This morning he was saying I should have just bought one decent thing rather than wasting money on stuff he didnt want. The lego was something he’d mentioned before and he played with it yesterday so I dont know if he genuinely didnt want any of it or if he’s just annoyed about the Switch.

I’m not expecting him to be over the moon with everything I buy him and I know he’s only 10, but I was quite hurt by it. I’d put money aside for weeks and tried to get him things he’d like. I cant just magic up the money for a Switch because someone at school has one.

His dad hasnt contributed to his presents this year either but thats a separate issue really and I wasnt expecting him to.

I dont want to make him feel bad for being disappointed but I also dont want him thinking birthdays are rubbish unless he gets something expensive. Am I expecting too much gratitude at 10? Would you have a word with him after school or just leave it?

How do you get yourself out of a funk?
today I’m feeling very “meh” I had big plans to get up, gut the house and have a productive day. In reality I woke up at 10, I’m still not showered or dressed and I just really can’t be bothered to do much of anything.
the washing pile is sitting looking at me judging and I just need to get my finger out but there’s no convincing myself to do anything worth while!

Well - i say parents, I actually mean my dad (because im pretty sure my mum would let me stay there if she had any choice in it).

In the process of separating, will likely have to sell the family home to fund purchase of two separate properties.

At my parents tonight and having a lengthy conversation with my parents about my cousin who has just got divorced. My dad is telling me how my cousin is renting a very expensive property despite never really being in it, due to working abroad most of the time. He apparently just comes back once a fortnight to have his daughter (and stay in the expensive flat). My dad is saying how silly my cousins been as my uncle (dad's brother - father of cousin) had told my cousin he could stay with him and not have to rent the flat. I ask - if I need to come home temporarily at some stage (for example between our current house selling and me buying a new place) would i be able to? My dad immediately aggressively insists absolutely not, there's 'not a chance in hell' he wants me living there again, absolutely not! I was a bit shocked and said 'oh, well what will we (myself and 3 kids) do then?' He said you'll have to use your equity to rent somewhere wont you, or ask the council to put you up somewhere.... The atmosphere was a bit awkward after that so I said my goodbyes and left.

I am very close to my parents. I love them but my dad can be a difficult man at times. Believe me - I wouldn't want to have to stay there any longer than absolutely necessary and I really did only mean temporarily and only if no where else to go. Also my kids would likely be with their dad 50% of the time and i'd make myself scarce when they weren't with me (stay with friends / travel, etc). Im just really hurt that my dad thinks that way about me and that he'd sooner see me waste money on rent (VERY expensive in our area) than help me when I needed it. I also am often called upon to do them favours like take them to the airport at 5am, or look after their crazy dogs when they go away... and I very much feel like saying no the next time im asked now (I wont say no obvs but i feel like it)

Sorry not sure what i want from this post really. Just venting.

I will try to keep this succinct, it’s quite easily summed up. DH went on a close friend’s stag weekend in the summer (abroad), mix of golf/drinking.

At the Wedding, I found out that the group went to a strip club and as a forfeit for losing in the golf that day, they all paid for him to be subject of a private ‘show’ where he was humiliated. This was drunkenly put to me as ‘being dildoed up’ - he swears it was just him being stripped and hit with his belt before he put to a stop to it.

I found out that some of the partner’s knew about this happening, and no one thought to tell me which I am a bit hurt by as I’m quite close with a couple of them. I only found out because one of his friends drunkenly blurted it out at the wedding to me.

I had a bit of a cry in the toilets at the wedding and was basically told to get a grip by one of the two I mentioned and that it’s par for the course. DH was initially apologetic but has told me to get over it and stop going on and ‘that reaction is exactly why I didn’t tell you’.

I suppose I’m looking for an outside view. Should I ‘get over it’ or am I entitled to feel upset still?

A bit of a long one but it’s ended again in me being given the silent treatment by DH because I asked him to rein it in a little?!

A bit of backstory, I have anxiety around drinking and behaviour changes associated with drinking.. DH knows the reasons why I am like I am (mainly because issues stem from his drinking in the past).

I have tried to “relax” but I feel for some reason this holiday is him being extreme and getting pissed off when I asked to reign it in a little.. I have not asked him to not drink, I have asked it to not be 8pints in the afternoon around the pool whilst we have a 2yo and 6yo.

His argument was he was still in the pool, taking photos etc and it was over a period of time. But I still see it as a bit OTT? Followed by 3/4 pints in the evening with dinner and even the waitress pulled a face when he asked for 2 at a time!

He’s also taken up smoking 2/3 cigars a day which are vile, fill the room even with the door closed and can smell it on him for ages. He’s not smoked for years and I’m really proud of him for quitting, usually it’s the odd one the whole holiday.

IDK if this is me being unreasonable but he throws it back at me like it’s all about me, when really I just want my kids not to see that drinking lots and smoking is okay and for him to be respectful about it?

Or am I just being unreasonable and controlling like he suggests?

I have tried everything, a sucker for advertising but yet to find the holy grail, and am considering Botox now if I can’t find something that works.

I'm 46, main concerns are forehead wrinkles, under eye bags/wrinkles/circles and just general droopyness (lost a lot of weight with WLI and fear I may have “ozempic face” although I’m told I don’t) Looking for something which can tighten skin I suppose.

Hit me with your recommendations please. Willing for spend the money if it gets results.

I’m looking for a new engagement ring. I know I want gold and an oval diamond. I can’t decide between these two. One is from Rox which I believe is a company that has stores in major cities and the other is in a jeweller independent to Leeds with a store in the trinity centre. I can’t understand why there is a £450 difference? I tried them both on and loved them both, the cheaper one will need a slight resize though.

Previous thread: https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/telly_addicts/5587046-welcome-to-the-castle-we-take-it-day-by-day-2026-celebrity-traitors-thread-3-tv-pace?page=1

This is a tv pace thread so make sure you’re up to date with the live broadcast and yes, previous series (regular and celeb) will be discussed!

Please no spoilers if you read them online!

The story so far (as at end of episode 4)

Traitors (still active)
Maya Jama
James Acaster (recruited)
Professor Hannah Fry (recruited)

Faithful

James Blunt
Jerry Hall
Joanne McNally
Joe Lycett
King Kenny
Michael Sheen
Miranda Hart
Sebastian Croft
Sharon Rooney

Up for Murder
Leigh-Anne Pinnock
Rob Beckett
Romesh Ranganathan
RossKemp (full name)

Murdered
Amol Rajan
Bella Ramsey

Banished
Richard E Grant (Traitor)
Myha’la
Julie Hesmondhalgh

The continuing story of the Sussexes and their PR issues.

Ive said multiple times to my DH that he should not be using his phone when driving. Repeatedly I have said this. He says he’s just changing a song or whatever and I get really annoyed with him. I’ve said he could kill someone and he needs to pack it in.

Today he rang me very distressed saying he was “changing a song” on his phone on a dual carriageway and a man in the passenger seat of the car next to him was recording him and shaking his head.

I was mortified and said that it’s totally irresponsible and I’ve told him for years to stop it. I don’t even let our child get in the car with him on his own if I can help it.

he was crying and said he’ll be reported to the police. I’ve no sympathy but worried that the police with knock at our door?? What’s the likelihood of this? I’m annoyed that he’s continually broken the law, got caught and now put out family in a position where he could be arrested at our house.

he’s moping and not talking to me now. Aibu to have been so unsupportive of him?