Are the bets on or off for an invite to Balmoral?
Will Meghan bake a humble pie for Catherine?
Let’s discuss……!

Tearing my hair out with DS21. He is about to start his final year at uni. We asked him this summer to seek voluntary work or an internship to help his future career (Birmingham area). He has an internship lined up but has wasted weeks being unable to start due to admin errors (partly his fault, partly theirs). Meanwhile he says he has applied online for over 15 volunteer positions with charities - ranging from Age to Shelter to the RSPCA to Compassion in World Farming. NONE of them have got back to him...not one. He has been around local charity shops and they don't need anyone.
I am veering between disbelieving him and despairing that there is nothing for an enthusiastic, intelligent young person to do in a huge city even when they are not asking for pay!! I am now just praying that the internship actually happens but it will be another couple of weeks even if the admin stuff is indeed sorted...
Does anyone have any ideas of what else he could try re volunteer work?
He has applied to the following: Tabor Living/ Helping Hands Birmingham/ Age UK/ WWF/ RSPCA/ RSPB/ Botanical Gardens (the only one to get back to him! They aren't recruiting any volunteers because of the drought). Greenpeace...etc etc.

I had a blood test recently as I generally have low iron. The latest test has come back as follows:

haemoglobin 122
ferritin 18
haemophilia 28.7
b12 570

I don’t understand the haemophilia result in particular and when I have googled it it seems worrying? The Gp has sent a message for me to book in an appointment asap but each time I call I can’t get through. I’ve been feeling really low and emotional recently (last few weeks) and I just feel really stressed about these results. Can anyone help? I will obviously keep trying to speak to GP

You had a chance to put a stop to the dodgy little lying, pathetic twat and you blew it.

Now we have to listen to his bollocks and hate inducing garbage for longer.

9,000 people voted for a bin rather than this swindler.

He can’t even bring himself to come to your town to accept the vote. He is laughing at you.

Real “man of the people’ - why can’t you see that he doesn’t give a crap about you or your problems?

Oh well at least the investigation into the £5mill can resume.

What a fucking waste of time and money. Disgusting. Disappointed in you guys. 🙈

Not sure what's changed, whether it's the heat or just a general feeling of being 'done', but this summer, I have parted company with my bra. I'm middle-aged, not particularly busty, and am just not bothering to put one on in the mornings when I'm not working. I suddenly resent the idea of wearing one, as it's not as if I really need support -it really only sheilds the world from seeing a hint of my nipples under my top. DC are embarrassed to be seen with me and although I don't really care, I've noticed the odd person do a double-take when I'm out. I'm not wearing anything revealing, just a t-shirt, a buttoned shirt or loose-fitting dress.
Is going braless in middle-age really the social faux pas that my teens imply that it is?

Firstly I appreciate this is not the same for the rest of the country

but we’ve had it horrific here (London). I’ve never felt so shit in my life as I have for the last 10 weeks. I’ve spent between £250-350 a month on electricity (portable air conditioners). I’ve felt anxious, headachy, it’s FUCKED with my peri menopause (brain fog, no words, cognitive decline). I’ve felt tearful and as if it would go on forever. There are moments where I’ve thought I can’t take another moment of this. My sleep is proper fucked.

this has to change. I’ve done everything on a personsl
level I can. Air conditioners only when necessary, above 26 inside (DH has long Covid so literally throws up in heat). His asthma is exacerbated. The dogs have had the shittest summer. I’ve had a couple of rescues that can’t go out about 22 degrees. I reckon they’ve been walked briefly 3 times a week. We deliberately went away on a cheap caravan holiday twice just so they could smile. There were endless days I couldn’t work as too hot in my home office and clients cancelled.

I cannot wait til Saturday.

I hope for solidarity from others. I want to wear a fucking hoodie again. I’ve spent every day sat around in my underwear inside for vast stretches of the day. This is not sexy.

I'm getting married next year. Just wanted to hear your thoughts on whether you'd expect a free bar at the venue?

I've been to many weddings over the years, some have a free bar, most don't. I'm not a huge drinker so am always happy to buy my own at weddings.

We do have wine at the tables to have with the meal and champagne for the toasts.

Does this seem reasonable? Many thanks all!

(nc for this)
DS finished university and has spent 18 months applying for jobs (450+). A few interviews who say they recruited internally or need someone with more experience (that old chestnut). Most just never reply. We live in London.

He finally gets a job but it’s in Oxfordshire. The company will let him stay at their accommodation (usually for customers) for a maximum of two weeks.

He cannot find any accommodation after this time. He has tried spare room app but when he gets a response people are asking for females only or more often there is no reply. He messages them a couple more times but nothing.

He doesn’t drive but willing to walk/cycle. He does have T1 diabetes so that is a consideration with distance.

He then put an ‘I’m looking for’ ad another site and a woman contacted him to say that, following throat surgery, she would be renting out her 2 bed house and moving in with family. It looked amazing and the woman said that the bills & council tax. A 25 minute walk to work. Paid the holding fee and arranged viewing for Sunday (he starts work on Monday).

DS was excited about job & house finally the months of angst were coming to an end.

So this morning he received an email from the lady saying that the rental company (?) wanted an extra £750 deposit before they would let him view the property. She said that she would pay £500 but he would need to pay another £250.

DS asked who this company was (not found on companies house) and their contact details so he could discuss it with them. She replied that they ’do not speak to prospective tenants’.

She also sent him her passport details by email as proof of her identity. Trouble was that the Passport had a spelling mistake in her name 🙄 🚩

Bank notified & they’re dealing with it.

Big problem is now DS is starting work on Monday but will have nowhere to live by the end of the month. As it’s quite a tourist area the Airbnbs and bed & breakfasts are thousands. He’s on the list at local estate agents but he has no salary history yet. They are really out of his price range but we’ll help him.

Just as an aside UC have paid him nothing for months, just the odd £15 here and there.

He’s desperately worried that he will lose his job.

Any ideas folks?
I’m so sorry for the long post.

My cats are very fussy about drinking and will only have it from stagnant puddles, running taps ( not feasible in these water shortages) or the toilet! However I have discovered that if you put a glass full of tap water in the bowl and stir in a couple of teaspoons of tinned tuna they will lap up all the fishy water. Sounds disgusting to me but its a cheap way of getting them to drink more without investing in cat broth or soup.

My husband and I both work professionally, but in completely different fields. Recently, our companies started collaborating on a major project, and yesterday I found out that my husband is actually leading it.

It's a big project, and financially it's going to be very good for our family. I'm genuinely happy about that, and I'm proud of him. But at the same time, it means that for the next 4–5 months, I'm going to be working under him.

Our roles are also very different. I'll be working longer hours and handling a lot of the day to day work, while he'll mainly be involved in decision l l making, important meetings and meetings with clients. So even though we'll technically be working on the same project, he'll have authority over the work I'm doing.

And honestly, I'm finding that a little difficult to process.

I know my husband. I know he's not going to intentionally disrespect me or treat me badly. But I also know that when he's in a professional role, he can be very direct and demanding. There will probably be times when he has to tell me to change something, redo something, work longer, or do something differently.

Hearing those things from my husband is probably going to affect me differently than hearing them from another manager.

I love him very much and I have no problem with his success. This isn't about being threatened by him or thinking he shouldn't be my boss. It's more about the strange feeling of having the person I come home to every night suddenly having professional authority over me.

I think there's a small part of my ego that feels uncomfortable with it, even though I know that's probably something I need to separate from the actual situation.

Is anyone else getting so fed up with people ADHD, autism, mental health oversharing this information and making it an excuse for terrible behaviour?

Several times a week people insist on telling me they are neurodivergent or their family and this is why they can’t do this and that…. Yawn!!! It’s like a negative badge of honour they must share and people really don’t give a monkeys.

My Son has autism and is smashing through life, excelling in all aspects and adjusting to life not making excuses all the time and never tells a soul. I’m so proud of him and it’s just shameful how many people are so excited to have this excuse.

Think people need to adjust and get on with life otherwise things are looking very bleak for them all especially as soon as all the benefits stop.

So we have builders in, everyday I give them pop, biscuits- on hot days lollies and a bacon butty on a Friday. They have toilet access/tea/coffee facilities readily available . I have purposely avoided access to my fridge so everything is out separately.
After thinking we were going through lots of drinks/snacks etc my husband decided to install a camera, to find the assistant looking through fridge and taking 2 cans for the journey home, so we think it’s been a habit. It felt like a violation. Problem is the job is otherwise going quite well, the gaffer is very respectful of the house and toilet etc but feel a bit like a soft touch now.
Boss 99% has no idea because it’s always been after he’s left. Don’t want to sour the job/their relationship etc but want him to know it wasn’t acceptable without a big showdown. Would also like to use them again, but the trust is tarnished. It’s only been drinks/food I think but still feels like a liberty. Am I being dramatic, have I given the impression it was ok? 🤔

5th day of our holiday today. DH insisted we book onto an activity starting at 730am. We both got about 2 hours sleep last night (combination of heat, jet lag and adjusting to time zone).

Dragged myself out of bed this morning, got ready and got to activity. Did it willingly even though it’s not my thing at all. DH was being short with me, which I kind of understand as he’s tired, but he said I was in the way of someone else waiting to do the activity, when I was actually doing the activity - he said ‘your in the way” and it was my turn!!!!). I backed off, and walked away and he said to me oh here we go this again, let’s not do this. Thought I’d just shut up and get on with it because we’re on holiday.

Tried just chatting on the way back from the activity but got one word, blunt answers so gave up.

Then he wanted food, but said the heat had made the lunch I prepared and packed for him “go bad” (we’d been out 1.5 hours and it was in a cool box) so he wanted to go out. I asked where he wanted to go. He was looking, getting really irritated and saying he was hungry, I told him to pick anywhere and I’d go with him. He said I needed to pick - but I wasn’t hungry? I said honestly anywhere. He got offended when I just wanted a small plate and was huffing and puffing.

Then we saw a place of worship (my religion, not his) and I asked if it was ok if I went in. He came with me. I was looking at the altar and he pointed something out, but I couldn’t see it, he was getting really irritated and then physically pushed my head down to see it. I told him not to do that, and turned around and saw a group of people looking at us, could feel the tears coming but held them back.

Then he was complaining about everything and I said I’m happy to do what you want to do, which attracted eye rolls.

Because of the heat he’s asked to come back to the villa. Now he’s being really nice asking for a cuddle whilst he naps?

WWYD? I’ve got another 3 weeks of this. Had doubts before the holiday about the relationship (too long to go into), but the head pushing feels very nasty. He’s got form for this on holiday, telling me I was wearing local dress wrong and pulled an item off me in front of onlookers.

Who knew penis rings (for fingers) were a thing?
Speechless

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Please can I ask what SPF you use when factoring 50 doesn’t give you enough protection? I’m looking at Eucerin 100 for my red headed daughter after a disastrous week with high street/popular factor 50 brands.

Grateful for any advice on this!

Help! I’m looking for a watch to wear for me wedding. I’d like a silver one, small round face, bracelet style strap. Nothing extravagant or expensive particularly but if I fall
in love with a more expensive one that’s ok too! I’ve seen a couple on Next but I’m not so keen on the bracelets which look a bit chain-link style. If it had a mother of pearl face that would be the icing on the cake, but not essential. I’m going round in circles and I’m sure there are many corners of the internet I haven’t discovered that may hold my perfect timepiece! All suggestions gratefully received.

Hey.

just for context, I’m 29 and my friends husband who I’m talking about is 39. My friend is 35 and my husband is 33. Just for context, it’s not really about age- but it might show some maturity / immaturity later on.

we used to all get on as a group, did lots together with our kids, even went on holiday - but since I got a promotion at work and gone full time again after my 2 children, my friends husband has really had a problem with me.

He’s turned really rude, and just not enjoyable to be around, actually very insufferable.

I am really bothered by a few things that I’m reading on Instagram, he seems to be digging at me indirectly & has even put something quite mocking up.

for example;

1. when I got oasis tickets via the ballot… he put a Instagram story up saying ‘it’s clear to see the answer to the question of ‘how many times have you seen oasis before via the ballot was 0!!!!👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼’
2. I have started running, for my health - mainly mental health, and I’m running the marathon for my little boys charity ( he was born prem with a few complications ) - I put one progress picture online, proud of me.. and then he went out of his way, to clearly download a TikTok to add to this Instagram story, mocking runners…
3. the recent solar eclipse, I put a few pictures of my kids smiling with their eclipse sunglasses before it even started & the sunset after it happened online for family to see, and then we watched the whole thing via the glasses- not that I need to justify myself but half of my family are in Australia and it’s the easiest way to see eachother sometimes it was fallowed by another Instagram story, saying ‘why are people taking pictures and not watching the eclipse themselves?’

i just feel absolutely fed up with it, it’s like a knee jerk to everything I put up- he obviously has a bug bare and it’s clear he thinks women are beneath men. I can’t believe my friend married him. I don’t know if I am being unreasonable… but wtf, I’m more bothered why my little ( quite plain and normal )life is bothering him so much.

i feel like I can’t say anything because of my friend, but I really need want too. My husband is saying to delete him from seeing my stuff- but I just don’t want to let this get in the way of mine and my friends friendship.

my husband did say ‘is she even a friend if she’s seeing her husband doing this and not asking who it’s about and why?’ - but again, I think he’d mute her anyway!!!

ugh! Advice? Haha x

What could I do to make my hair style and colour better, I do spend a lot on hair care products and salon visits. I don’t really want short or bobbed hair, any suggestions? I’m in my late 50’s for context .

I know it’s all his hard work, but I did a lot of the encouragement on the side.

For context he’s the first in his family to get into uni. His parents just finished secondary school and (and so did the previous generations).

Before I entered his life (he’s technically my stepson) he only aspired to get his GCSEs and go into social care.

Today he got his results and he’s going to a Russell Group uni.

Im extremely proud of him, but I also think he wouldn’t have don’t it without me. So AIBU for being so proud of myself? (and him obviously!)

Need to know whose in the wrong here.

Dh went out all day Sunday, no problem with this said he'd be back by 6 latest. He didn't come home till 2am very drunk waking me up!

Then today we went out (dh is off work) for the day with dc. He kept loosing his patience with me, even though I drove us all to the place and arranged the day. Soon as we got in the car to come home dhs friend from Sunday rang and asked if he fancied a few pints. Dh said he'd only be 2 hours max when we got home that was at 3pm.

Well he's still out and saying he will be back by 11pm as he's gone and brought more beers so will be much later than 11.

He goes out often pretty much every other day to see fiends after work, he does spend time with dc but could do more. I've basically lost my patience with him and told him he's a prick for going out so much and leaving me to watch dc yet again!
I have no friends or family nearby so I don't ever get to go out myself but if I did I know he wouldn't like me going out drinking all the time.
He's saying I'm causing a problem out of nothing and he's not a child but aibu to think it's not hard to be honest? Sunday he didn't even tell me he was drinking

Me and husband are late 30s and have 3 young children, youngest is 10wks old.All are lovely of course, but all very demanding in their different ways.

I have never had a very high sex drive (despite husband keeping going on about how things were 'different' with me in that department years ago 🙄) we are lucky that we conceive very easily.However since having children it has decreased more and more over time.I have been a mum for over 9 years now, both my older children have never been great sleepers, and out of that time have spent probably 18mths not breastfeeding which obviously does impact sex drive too, although that isn't the full story, as also I don't like being naked, having my body touched, and this has increased as i've got older.I'm abit overweight and have wobbly bits but don't 'hate' my body, quite the opposite as i think it is more amazing than before I became a mum, as it has grown and birthed my babies! However it does make me feel self conscious him touching me.
Sounds wierd i suppose, but I just feel like I have 'grown out' of sex, like me and DH have been together long enough that we just tick over, with abit of affection when time allows and I find connection through sharing experiences and conversation.I don't feel comfortable without my clothes on and find sexual acts and the mess etc all quite gross.

HOWEVER husband does not agree.
We haven't had sex much since before I was last pregnant....DS was conceived after just one episode of unprotected sex (which was great for me, not so much for husband!) During pregnancy I felt too tired by the time the kids were in bed.
We last DTD in April as we had a night away together (first since having kids) I know this is awhile ago, but there are very little opportunities other than 10/11pm at night when all 3 are finally asleep and by then I just can't be bothered with the faff of it all.
Now, i do still feel tired after having them all day (summer hols) and also i personally just don't feel comfortable doing it with DS sleeping next to us.

Husband tried to initiate sex when baby was 7wks (so I was barely past the point of even being able to HAVE sex going by NHS recommendations) I declined and he got all moody and started trying to guilt trip me which I didn't rise to and put him firmly in his place about.But same thing happened last night (baby now 10wks) when i didn't want him hugging me without a bra on as I know it would turn him on, and i want my boobs off bounds whilst breastfeeding which has always been the case so he knows that.He got all moody and actually said he feels like it's getting to the point where he doesn't want to share a bed with me and also he keeps calling me 'cold' which feels really unfair! I'm not cold i just don't want sex!
He says its not about 'getting his kicks' more the emotional connection, but then has said it's a 'physical outlet' for him which makes me feel used.
When I decline it he says things like 'well you're clearly not attracted to me then' etc despite me telling him on countless occasions that it's not that (i don't want sex in general, not just not with him)
I just feel like i can't be doing with his demands, neediness, pressure, making me feel bad etc and have told him that its putting me off even more.I will admit I don't kiss him much either, but that's because he then always wants it to become sex.He doesn't have any adults he is emotionally close to other than me which probably doesn't help but I feel it isn't my fault or job to pick up the pieces from that.
I say that it's not forever, but at the moment i'm just not feeling like it and won't be forced to do something i'm uncomfortable with, then he says all sarcastically 'No i don't want to anyway now it's fine, let's just forget about it' etc.
(Then brings it up again afew weeks later!)
We also have issues with contraception as hormonal contraceptives cause me to have PMDD symptoms so I have to avoid them, and he won't get the snip, however I want to use 2 methods doubled up now that we have both decided we have had enough children, as we are very fertile and personally I could never have an abortion. The coil is the only thing on offer around here that isn't hormonal, but ive had a couple of friends who had horrid experiences with it and have heard it's painful having it put in. To be honest, I feel like if DH wants sex so badly he should get a vastectomy and use a condom, as i would only really be doing it for his benefit...I feel like I could live without it long term if he wasn't fussed.

I get it's abit frustrating for him but I have no issue with him masturbating, and if the kissing etc didn't always mean expectation of sex, I would be more keen to show him more affection in other ways.I don't know how to resolve the situation.He is a great dad, practically hands on and a supportive and caring husband in many ways.

Hi everyone
First time poster and sorry this is a bit long.
We bought an end terraced house back in March.
During conveyancing we found out that left hand neighbour in attached terrace has right of access through our side gate in order to bring wheelie bins back and forth weekly. No problem at all. She's been lovely, respectful and we've made a lovely friend in her.
Right hand neighbour in detached dormer bungalow, rang our bell one day and said that they wanted to let the window cleaner into our back yard to deal with windows on the side of their property (the house is built right up to the boundary line and actually guttering etc overhangs it and our summer house).
We agreed and expected to go and unlock the gate and let them in. Turns out they had a key to the gate and let themselves into our yard.
I'd just got out of the shower so couldn't act in the moment but chatted to DH about it and we decided to let it go for now.
A few weeks later we were again interrupted on a hot day of sunbathing in the garden with the man letting himself into our yard to let the window cleaners through. But instead of just doing that, he wandered around our yard, stuck his head through the summer house door (where our hot tub is and we are frequently nuddie in) and when I went over to see what was going on, he ignored my obvious annoyance and tried to chat me up about our nice garden, love what you've done with the place etc.
Based on this, we changed the locks (as is reasonable when moving into somewhere new especially as it was previously a rental) and gave LH neighbour a key.
Fast forward to this week.
They tried again to let themselves in our yard.
We were at work but saw that they angrily rang our ring doorbell several times which we ignored.
They knocked on LH neighbour and asked her to let them through which she refused.
They repeatedly came to the door until they eventually found us back from work.
They produced a house deed showing that they have right of way despite our deeds not showing this at all and the vendor stating that only LH neighbour had access. We had them in to be respectful and find a solution but the man became really aggressive and unpleasant so we asked them to leave. They wouldn't leave and so we threatened police. They eventually left.
Turns out vendor had given them a gate key to "be neighbourly" and never knew that they "had rights".
Our conveyancing solicitor says they're not responsible as there's nothing on our deeds to suggest there's any dispute and vendor had stated what he had.
HM Land registry shows all associated documents as only being LH neighbour access.

What is our next step and has anyone else been in this situation?

If they had not overstepped and man hadn't been creepy and abusive we would have facilitated occasional access for maintenance. As it is, I already said I clean their windows and I do..

Namechanged. Very close friend of mine that I've known since uni days has been very unhappy in her marriage for several years now. Lots of issues, big communication problems, resentment, friend often considers leaving the marriage. She recently told me that she and her DH haven't had sex in 13 years (since their youngest DS was conceived).

I'm as supportive as possible to my lovely friend, and just try to listen without judgement. But here's the thing - ever since I met her DH, I've suspected that he might actually be gay. And this isn't just me - I've had other friends presume the same on first meeting him (at parties or whatever if it wasn't immediately clear he's in a hetero couple with my friend) and even my own DH once asked me if I had suspicions - all this totally unprompted by me.

It's strange because I can't pinpoint exactly what it is about him. He's a little effeminate perhaps, but certainly not camp. It's more a feeling, which could be utterly meaningless of course. Friend's DH comes from a very buttoned-up, conventional English family. It would have actually been a huge stigma to come out growing up (he is mid-50s now). He's someone who is quite conventional and traditional.

Obviously I'm aware that this is NONE of my business, but my poor friend is losing her mind. I'd never dream of articulating these thoughts usually, but when she told me about the lack of sex, for so long - I just thought, should I mention it?

FWIW while she's unhappy, she's very fearful of divorcing - the financial implications, the impact on the kids - she seems quite paralysed by it all, but I'm wondering if it could help her somehow? If I'm right (and I'm well aware I could be very wrong), it's no wonder the marriage seems to be failing...

Thoughts?

Took DSD(19) and my 4 younger dc away for a week.
This is a place we have been going to for years so we have lots of friends there and know our way around.

Dsd has had a horrible couple of years, significant trauma and anxiety which we are just starting to get over. She hasn’t had her mother in her life for years so I try my best to play that part. She’s a lovely girl, I love her very much and think we have always had a good relationship.

I wanted her to be able to relax and let her hair down with friends on the holiday but I expected her to behave appropriately in front of younger siblings and to spend some time with us aswell.

From the minute we arrived she just wanted to go out and party with friends, fine but she kept randomly turning up throughout the day drunk and being inappropriate in front of dc. On day 3 I had to help shower her in the middle of the night after she’d thrown up all over herself and created a scene by shouting and swearing while my 7 year old cried at the door asking if she was okay.

Following that she seemed to calm down and I thought we had a lovely couple of days. She was obviously embarrassed so I didn’t go on at her or make her feel worse, I just told her we could forget about it.

On our last night she went out again but promised she’d be back by midnight as we were flying home the next morning. She then loudly turned up at 3am with a boy that she does know, I know his parents but I do not know or trust him enough to have him in the house with my small dc. I told him to go home, she chose to go with him and I didn’t try to stop her. I called her in the morning and she didn’t answer so we went home without her.

She is safe and her flight home has been sorted for her. She is upset though and is telling Dh that I hate her, that I’m ashamed of her and that I would have preferred to just go on holiday with my real dc, none of this is true.

Dh is disappointed in her behaviour but has hinted that he feels I could have done or at least he would have done more to be understanding and make her feel loved and included, and also that he wouldn’t have gone home without her.

Was I unreasonable?