I'm lucky to be in a full time job, but it's incredibly stressful (I know everyone says this, but it's quite specific in a mental health setting with physical attacks happening - although I have been hurt myself, what has ultimately broken my resilience is not being able to protect vulnerable people in my care, as sometimes things genuinely happen completely "out of the blue", which means I spend nine hours a day on high alert mentally).

Anyway, two weeks ago something happened again and I kept going two more days and then just couldn't.

So I need to find a new job. I have an in demand qualification but I'm in my 50s...

Also the stress has really got to me, in combination with menopause and a couple of recently surfaced health issues, and I've put on quite a lot of weight, plus I haven't been to the hairdressers for at least a year...

I sound like a real catch for an employer 🫣

I need to do something to make myself feel a bit more presentable as I apply for jobs. I'm not in an office based career sonI don't need to look corporate, I need to look capable, rather than frazzled and fed up. I am actually very good at my job, I'm just in a situation where I've begun to feel hopeless and helpless.

So - I have long straggling grey hair. I can do something about this at least.

Would you colour it? I haven't coloured since before the pandemic and don't care on a personal-life level whether it is ageing BUT if I'm interviewing for active jobs I probably should be looking dynamic, and if not "youthful" at least not significantly older than I am...

Suggestions for cut? Do I have to revert to the bob of doom? Unfortunately I have a round face and I'm not remotely elven - proper short doesn't work on me.

Any hair suggestions to give me a lift back into presenting myself positively?

This is intended as a friendly, kind, safe, warm and fuzzy place for people to share discounts, bargains and Christmas gift ideas both online and IRL. Please note the tone and intention of the thread and join with spirit as generous as DC helping themselves to the Christmas chocolate celebrations

Here’s some useful information about how to save the thread or a specific post so you don’t need to have a message to check in for every thread so you have the thread saved:
To watch the thread - click on the little bell that has ‘watch’ under my first message. This adds the whole thread to your ‘watched threads’
You can also bookmark a specific post by clicking on the ‘bookmark’ under the specific post. This saves your exact place in a thread but doesn’t alert you to new replies.
If you have any referral links or codes, please share them on the referral thread

www.mumsnet.com/talk/christmas/5444936-bargain-referrals-thread-8

A reminder that we don't use affiliated links on here please

🎄 Emoji to copy if required for posting bargains as some agree this makes deals easier to spot.

Will request this is deleted if someone more official beats me to it or if Reastie returns!

I have a middle parting and a fringe that seems to have got heavier over the years and want to lighten the look.

I am putting more of it to the sides but need something to hold it there until it gets long enough and trained to stay where it is.

Any recommendations for a hair spray or similar that will hold it but not look too obvious please or any other ideas as I suppose it is going to take a long time before it stays there on its own.

I have tried clipping it back while at home but it wont stay once they are taken out.

Hi - Can anybody help please? I am on the hunt (in the UK) for a black blouse in satin or silk to pair with a full, floor length evening skirt from Coast. I am looking for a 40/50s vibe, Grace Kelly style. Ideally in a stiff-ish fabric and with a small, shirt-like collar (button up) rather than a wide neck.

Can anybody point me in the right direction, please?

Old thread
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/style_and_beauty/5573420-scent-of-the-day-part-10-the-friendly-perfumistas-are-spritzing-again?page=39

I'm away with DH this week in a place where we've had many many family holidays. Our kids are in their early twenties.
I've felt bereft. Everywhere I turn there is a happy memory of our small children.
Leaving aside the fact that I am so lucky to have those lovely memories and to be on holiday this week, what I really want to know is whether these feelings will become less painful as life goes on or will we just have to stop coming here?

I was just doing my online shop last night. So many items like bottled water and long life milk were out of stock.

Quite clearly many people are taking the advice seriously. But to be honest, three days’ worth of food is really very little - most people would have that at home, even if it may not be their preferred food. So I think people are responding to this by buying supplies for a lot more than three days.

Full disclosure - I have done this myself. Not buying silly amounts but just a few more cans than usual. I don’t even know why!

Over the past few years, I have started picking up random bits of Christmas themed serveware for Christmas buffets etc. We’ve accumulated quite a few bits now and DH thinks it looks messy as none of it matches (it’s all a mixture of green, red, gold and cream but from different sets.

I like the fact that it doesn’t match (it reminds me of my grandma’s stuff as a child!). What would you think?

Really sad to see this - another very good school that was just about affordable to lots of local families gone by the wayside. Seems to have come as a blindsiding shock to parents who found out today. Really sad for all the kids who won’t be returning to their classmates and community after half term. Clayesmore is miles away and Leweston was mostly a day school I believe. Our child was so keen to be heading there next year. Hope all affected manage to find places in time for Monday at their preferred back up options. Thinking of all the staff too.
https://www.leweston.co.uk/

Hi Mumsnet,

I have a question about my child's grammar school options.

DC11 applied for two schools that have the same 11+ test (they share results).

He scored enough for School 1P but did not score enough to meet the criteria for School 2F.

On his secondary school application, School 1P will be his first choice and then two local schools will be the other two options.

I spoke to their current headteacher in passing and they asked me about appealing based on the fact that they passed for School 1P and are doing really well in primary (high achiever, predicted good SATs results etc).

My question is...

1. Can I appeal? I understand this is a 'non qualification' appeal and has a low success rate.

2. Do I need to list School 2F on the secondary application form if I am planning to appeal?

This is a first for me so I'm just looking for perspective here. Thank you in advance.

Been together 4 years. We don’t live together, LDR he’s in a different country where I have a house.

He came here for 2 weeks and I suggested a weekend break. He said yes, I paid for flights & hotel on the understanding he’d get the meals. On arrival, we did dinner with mutual friends who live in this place, he didn’t budge when the bill arrived so I paid. Day 2 I got most things. In the evening he got dinner. Day 3 he did pay for us to see a landmark that afternoon but I organised and paid for dinner which was in a special place, which he enjoyed very much.

I got all petrol, paid for parking at airport, etc and during his stay at my house paid for various special food shops & a trip to London, train tickets and dinner.

So he’s gone to his place now and brags to all about this trip. But didn’t credit me, or treat me with much affection, all a bit routine & half hearted.

Given the lack of credit, affection, and coughing up his share, I suggested he even up and pay his half of the main part of the trip, so his flight & hotel stay. It was was a few hundred quid. He finally did so late this evening, but refused to speak to me, claimed he was so tired from making the transaction. Very moody over it. First I felt too guilty to ask for the cash but the more I reflected and the worse he treated me, the more it seemed disrespectful. Then I felt irritated, then resentful, and now I’m annoyed. Why shouldn’t he pay his way, with good grace? Must he huff and puff every time?

For the record, he has no kids, no ex spouses, owns his house & car, earns ok. I do earn more than him but work longer hours in a profession thst I trained a long time for, and I pay for everything myself, my house, bills, dcs. it was also my birthday and he didn’t buy any gift.

Help me to think this through. Was I unreasonable in asking him to cough up his share? I don’t want a kept man, and it’s not like we are married.

Previously went on a long haul holiday & he did pay me his ticket & hotel but I got all meals and trips once over there.

Those of you who have your main Christmas dinner on Christmas Eve rather than Christmas Day, come and tell me all about it!

I first saw someone mention doing this on Mumsnet a few years ago and remember thinking it sounded like such a lovely idea. Every year since, I’ve been a little more tempted, but I always end up talking myself out of it and doing the usual Christmas Day dinner. I think part of it is that nobody in my family has ever done it differently, so I’d be the first to break with tradition 😂

This year, though, I haven’t managed to talk myself out of it yet! The more I think about it, the more I really want to give it a go. I’m getting a bit fed up with spending Christmas Eve preparing everything, then spending such a big chunk of Christmas Day cooking it all.

I love the thought of getting the preparation done on the 23rd, then having a lovely sit-down Christmas dinner on Christmas Eve, with everyone excited and all the anticipation of Santa still to come. Then waking up on Christmas morning knowing there’s no big dinner to organise, and just being able to enjoy the presents and spend time with everyone.

But I’ve never done it before, so I’d love to hear how it actually works for other families. Have any of you tried it and then regretted it when Christmas Day arrived? Did you find yourself wishing you’d waited, or feeling like something was missing? Or did you love it and wonder why you hadn’t done it sooner?

And what do you have to eat on Christmas Day itself? I’d still want the food to feel special and Christmassy, so I’d love to hear what you do instead of the traditional dinner. Do you have a buffet, a lovely breakfast, something completely different?

Basically, please tell me about your Christmases and give me some ideas! I’m very tempted to finally do it this year, but would love a bit of inspiration from people who already do 😊

I'm thinking of investing in my first pair of knee high boots, but am nervous about them being work appropriate!
Are these suitable, e.g. with an almost-knee-length skirt? I imagine I could also wear them with a miniskirt out of work

www.office.co.uk/view/product/office_catalog/2,17/4591300000

www.office.co.uk/view/product/office_catalog/2,17/5026200000

I caught her climbing....she's 17. She pretends she cant get up on the side any more and miaows until I lift her up.
But she's been pretending all along!
Show me your old cats.

dd has arranged to be at a Halloween party sleepover this Saturday with friend group at one friends home with said friends mum hosting and present

No idea which or whom of any other adults will be there . I’m assuming so based on the text I have now had

Of course I said yes initially , however by chance I have found out that alcohol is intended to be available for kids allowed to drink !!! This does not sit well with me at someone else’s house that I was never told about

Beqr in mind I was only told because I found out by chance ( friend group Mum text me and said so are you allowing dd to have a couple of drinks at this party? I said what the hell I knew nothing about this , and she’s filled me in . Her daughter told her said host is getting some drinks in for those allowed )

I then asked my dd about this and following discussion and attitude resulted in my confer and said she can go but no sleepover and will be picked up … cue the text from host parent

Host has now text me because I have said I’m not comfortable with my daughter going if alcohol is planned in to a party for under sixteens . Bear in mind this was not told to ANY friend group parents when initially arranged over a month ago and it seems I’ve only been messaged because I’ve found this out

I don’t really like this and it doesn’t sit well with me any of it

plus my daughter knew this information and didn’t tell me

Dd has never drank obviously , it’s not allowed in our house to be drinking under college age and she isn’t interested in alcohol but we know that can change around peer pressure and when you aren’t around

I just aren’t comfortable with my child being in supervision of someone who would let kids have alcohol without their own parent there or even having been in knowledge of it

parent has said herself there is a small amount of alcohol available for those able to have it

just blows my mind why would you buy alcohol for other peoples kids ? There’s no need to do that for fifteen year olds they don’t need alcohol at a girls Halloween party

I also don’t know which other adults would be there with teens being allowed alcohol some of them having never drank ever this just makes me feel sick

I am now very against my child sleeping over and have said she can go but be picked up at nine or ten and that’s the compromise now

I feel trust needs to be built and I’ve for very uncomfortable gut feelings I just would not even dream of making alcohol available for other peoples kids end of.

it’s caused a massive row last night, daughter contacting her dad to get him to allow her to sleep over and pick her up ( we are separated ) and so clearly whether I like it or not I’m just going to be ignored

please can other parents give me their input

I’m new to this as a first time teen mom

Thankyou ❤️

Not somewhere I usually look as we don't have a big Sainsbury's near here with a clothing section, just the little convenience stores.

Saw they had a sale on though and ordered a few things and I'm SO impressed. Ordered this dress https://tuclothing.sainsburys.co.uk/product/tuc148498351 which admittedly is not the most fashion forward item on the planet but I was looking for a comfortable dress for holidays and smart-casual occasions. It's such good quality - really thick, 100% cotton and has pockets! £7.80 absolute bargain. Also bought a grey cardigan/vest thing which is very thick and will keep me cosy in winter.

So did I just hit it lucky or is the general quality of TU better than Asda, Tesco etc?

And I mean really can't tolerate it, it makes me so uncomfortable and irritable, anyone else find this happened to them?

How old would someone be to like this handbag?

I ask because I bought it as a gift for a friend and someone else has said it's too old/young for them (don't want to say which so don't prejudice any answers!)

I used to be best friends with a girl I met at a mummy group when we both had babies. We were inseparable during those early years

now, the kids are in Y7 and life gets in the way. I ended up going back to work full time and getting divorced, she moved a village away and opened a business and had more kids etc you get the picture. We still text and make plans but these so often fall through due to busy life - however in an emergency I know I could count on her and vice versa

Anyway, it’s now October and I’ve only seen her twice briefly this year, but today we were both at the same church event. She called me over to sit beside her and if it wasn’t for her voice I wouldn’t even have known it was her! The both of us have had Botox before so I am no stranger to making changes - but her face was completely different, her cheeks looked… fake? I don’t know how else to explain it. Her lips were huge. And she’s on WL jab too so all this filler (I assume) on top of a now thinning face was just bizzare looking. I last seen her in July I think so I was truly taken aback that someone can change so quickly. And I am honestly all for cosmetic changes but she did not look good, she looked weird.

I’ve been sitting looking at photos of us from when we met 10 years ago and granted we’re obviously not going to look the same now but I was very taken aback today. Should I tell her not to do any more? I’m worried she’s on a path she can’t come back from. She got divorced at the start of the year and I’m worried she’s changing herself drastically as a reaction to this and can’t see what she truly looks like

In the quickest way possible my DH is a good man in general. I feel comfortable but he’s not a walk over in that if he wasn’t suited he would let it be known and I feel that’s what I need. I’m the same in that I’m fair but if I don’t like something he’ll know about it. So it’s like we both have respect for each other and wouldn’t take the piss and it works (for 11 years so far)

but….. he’s always been competitive regarding sports, him playing football and his team buy I never seen that as we met when he was older. He doesn’t play now as he’s too old but he still follows his favourite team and he gets so annoyed if they lose and I try to be understanding but in the grand scheme of things who gives a fuck?! It’s not real life and imo it’s perspective. I have a child with a learning disability to me to me that’s perspective on life. Fine be annoyed but don’t let it come between you and your wife. He’ll get mad and shout at the tv if it’s not going their way and it makes me feel uncomfortable though it been like that for 10+ years but the new hobby is making it worse. (I had an abusive childhood so perhaps I’m more sensitive to shouting etc my mam was an alcoholic throughout my childhood and died when I was barely an adult and my dad used to batter everyone so it wasn’t great!)

He stated playing chess last year and when that doesn’t go his way he’s pissed off too. Doesn’t look at you when you walk in to the room, you can’t speak to him in the middle of a game (which can take up to an hour!) and I so I have to ignore him. It doesn’t last for long and he’s ok afterwards but to be frank I can’t be arsed with being on tender hooks due to him being ‘competitive’. Tonight his team lost so he went upstairs in a ‘pap’ and as I say it blows my mind because if someone said “your mam has cancer” that would soon put his hobbies in to perspective.

I’m going to speak to him tomorrow and tell him he’s making me feel uncomfortable and I don’t want to be in a situation where I’m worried of he loses!

Advice please lovely people

my post should read how rubbish is this budget!

So I will only get a state pension and income from an investment property for my retirement ( monies from an inheritance ) as I have looked after my disabled son. So the Gov have gone against me as ever.

But have they gone against the extremely wealthy or huge corporates that exercise price transfer re tax tax or use franchises/ loan agreements etc to legally avoid tax?

Nope.

I actually loathe this government now. They always shield the wealthy and go for the middle classes. Those with a bit of bank interest or a single asset let’s tax that more - easy pickings.

If you had a small local deli that do lots of deliveries all over your city would you raise this…
we ordered a load of food including “steak bake” type pastries.
Dh had one for lunch today and his steak turned out to be turkey and ham.
He thought nothing of it and ate it (was lovely as expected etc) and I sent a quick message through their insta (private) just to let them know the individually wrapped item was labelled wrong.
Dh thinks this was overkill and I’m now going to be known as “that” customer, we go in a lot know most of the staff.
My message was literally saying everything was lovely but highlighting the mistake more for their benefit than mine we have no allergies etc.
Would anyone else have bothered or actually am I turning into a middle age busybody?

My mum has started really ageing herself, she’s started saying she doesn’t like driving at night anymore so avoids doing it and she fell over and called it she ‘had a fall’, she’s 61!

I worry she’s going to start letting her world get smaller and ageing herself much too young, any advice on how to help? My MIL is late 70s and hell would freeze over before she said she had a fall 🤣

any advice greatly appreciated

I know people won't "know", but interested to hear any ideas on why. My older sister (coming up 60 this year) has stopped talking to me. I tried ringing recently and asking how she is what her plans are and she didn't answer phone and texted one word replies or just ignored me.

Now we have been really close in the past - lived together in flats in Brighton when young and Dublin and kept a really close relationship (with ups and downs) for a long time. We both had children and our kids were very close.

I later got married and she completely fell out with me beforehand and told my ex (child's father) that I had hooked up with a new man and it would all be terrible. So between my ex and my sister - they tried to ensure that my relationship did not last. She got my ex to speak to my new bf and say that I was a terrible person. My bf ignored them both and we have now been married for 23 years.

Roll on and I decided that life was too short and we made up. She split up with her daughter's father and so when she was working, I helped out most weekends with looking after my niece, plus she and my daughter got on really well. This went on for many years and I tried to support niece as much as possible.

My husband and I moved away - so a fair distance and had a baby. My husband and I have been a great team, He has been the best dad to my daughter (and my son) and she is all grown up and they are very close. My niece and my daughter stayed in touch, but have increasingly become more distant as adults and now don't seem to talk. I have been away (as adults) with my sis, niece (28) and a friend on a number of occasions, weekends away (no issues).

Sorry - it's long - I went away with my niece early this year as she wanted to try skiing - i had got us a good deal and paid some extra and we went away. I had been suffering anxiety, but was most of the time in good form. However on 3rd night of hols - she lost her shit and decided she was not enjoying holiday, because I had accidentally disturbed her in her sleep 2 nights (by turning over in my bed). We ended up disagreeing and she had been nasty to me over those few days. As a result we no longer speak.

My sister and I have still been in contact since and even been away for a weekend with 2 friends a few months after the holiday and she said all fine and she understood as hols can be a strain and also niece can be overly emotional. We had a nice time (shared room - no issues). Spoken quite a few times after that - talked about going abroad.

My friend contacted me - said sis had taken herself off group chat - was supposed to meet up with her, but as soon as friend suggested bringing her bf for drink later on - sis said no longer wanted to meet and is now incommunicado. When I texted her and sent pics of my hols recently - got pretty much silent treatment.

Sorry - that was long but wanted to give background. I would really appreciate any theories on what's going on. Reached out asked if she was ok - blanked me. Asked if plans for 60th - she replied "yes thanks". This was after number of texts and calls. In end texted to say as you clearly have no wish to communicate - I will take hint.

Hi all, I am hoping you can help!

I rarely venture on to the style threads as I have no style 😁

But i have a lovely evening wedding to go to soon and have bought this dress

https://www.next.co.uk/style/su903238/e39295

The issue is, if you look under her arms, there's a bit of a space and you can see my bra (any of them, ive tried a lot)

I am a 36 F so they're not tiny and I definitely need a bra.

Does anyone have any ideas? Thank you 🥰