My parents are in their 80s and still independent although not as sharp as they used to be. DM has a lot of health conditions and is prone to falls. I live 15 mins away.

Yesterday, DM went to the toilet at 9.30am, her legs went weak and she couldn't get up off it. DF didn't call an ambulance until 2.30pm and didn't call me until 4.45pm. I went straight round and eventually managed to get her off the toilet and into bed until the ambulance arrived but by that time she'd been on the toilet all day, hadn't eaten anything and hadn't taken her medicines. The paramedics took her to hospital where she's needed treatment.

This isn't the first time something like this has happened. I'm really upset that DF isn't getting help for DM. Even if he's nervous about calling 999, I would expect him to at least call me. They did have telecare bracelets for a bit but as DM didn't have a fall for a few months they cancelled them as they didn't want to spend the money.

I will push them to reinstate the telecare but I don't know if they'll even use them to get help next time she has a fall. I don't know what to do. I've tried talking to DF about his inaction but he doesn't say much. He loves her and wants her to be well but it's like he closes up when there's a crisis and puts his head in the sand.

Any suggestions?

I work permanent nights 4 nights a week, 10pm till 6am. Been doing it about 2 years now and generally it suits me and the money is better than when I was doing days. Problem is I dont seem to be able to get a decent amount of sleep without it becoming an issue at home.

I get home about half 6, have a shower and something to eat then go to bed around 7.30. Usually try and sleep till 2ish before getting up. My partner works part time in a school kitchen so she’s up early with our youngest who’s 4. Her daughter is 15 and obviously has school and her own things going on. I’m not expecting the house to be silent all day but the tv can be heard in our bedroom, doors banging, shouting up the stairs etc. I’ve asked if they can just keep it down a bit while I’m asleep but apparently I’m expecting everyone to tiptoe round me.

Saturday was the latest argument. I’d finished my last shift that morning and went to bed expecting to get a few hours in. My partner had arranged for her daughter to have a friend round and they were watching tv downstairs. It woke me up twice so I went down and asked if they could turn it down a bit. My partner got annoyed with me for coming down and said they were just trying to have a normal Saturday and I couldn’t expect everyone to sit in silence because I work nights.

I do understand that the house is meant to be lived in and I’m not saying the kids can’t make any noise at all. There’s a difference between normal noise and having the tv blaring though surely. I work to help pay the bills and the extra money from nights makes a difference to us so its not as if I’ve chosen to do this for no reason.

The other issue is my partner thinks I should be getting up earlier at weekends instead of sleeping half the day away. I have tried it and I’m absolutely knackered by the evening. I want to spend time with them as well but I also need to sleep at some point.

She says I should get better earplugs or sort the bedroom out rather than expecting everyone else to change what they’re doing. We do have curtains that block most of the light and I’ve tried earplugs but I can still hear things, especially if someone is shouting.

Am I being unreasonable to expect them to keep the noise down for a few hours while I’m asleep? I dont expect the whole house to revolve around my shifts but I dont think asking for a bit of consideration is unreasonable either. Just interested in what other people with night shift partners do really.

This is intended as a friendly, kind, safe, warm and fuzzy place for people to share discounts, bargains and Christmas gift ideas both online and IRL. Please note the tone and intention of the thread and join with spirit as generous as DC helping themselves to the Christmas chocolate celebrations

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Will request this is deleted if someone more official beats me to it or if Reastie returns!

DS is now nearly six and I have to say I love parenting him now although he can still be quite hard work, but he’s got bags of energy, fearless, independent and fun to be around.

But thinking back to when he was a toddler … it was really hard work and not very enjoyable. He didn’t really play with toys in any meaningful way but could create chaos in seconds. One of his favourite things to do was to pull books off the bookcase and throw them across the room, or empty the cats water bowl. He was just a mini wrecking ball of energy and mischief. He didn’t even watch TV so I didn’t have that option.

We ended up out a LOT as a result. I remember my friends from the NCT group (all with girls!) commenting on it. If there was a group, we were there, we did soft play, parks, all sorts, I had so many passive aggressive sort of comments about it.

Three years later I had my second child and I understood that actually you don’t have to be out all the time. DH and I waited for her to destroy the house (sort of toddler part 2) but it didn’t happen and still hasn’t. I can stay in and do puzzles and playing.

There wasn’t and isn’t anything ‘wrong’ with ds; the opposite but I do find even now that energy needs burning. So when I read on here things like ‘when do they get time to chill / I loved staying home doing crafts and playing with mine / oh a long bath is all they need’ I realise some of us with children with bags of energy … we are doing a very different parenting journey!

This is hard to write. I’ve seen great advice on here and I am asking for it, for my family. Please be kind as it’s taking a lot to write this even.

Married 20 years, 3 teenagers close in age.

I’m finding things difficult. I felt that I knew what I was doing when they were little and now I feel out of my depth. We are all adjusting maybe through puberty x3, I’m going through menopause and I think my DH is struggling also.

Especially with repeated redundancy rounds and that his career hasn’t quite been what he’s dreamed of and worked so hard for. Long story.

I think DH is struggling, no social life. No hobbies. Just work and parenting. Rising bills and interest rates on a big mortgage coming up.

Thats the background. But he’s being very snappy with the kids. And very irritable..

He found some sweet wrappers in our eldest boys’ room and was so cross, he came downstairs and whilst he was studying at the table, he grabbed the neck of his t-shirt from behind and threw them underneath.

Oldest just told me this tonight.

He said that he heard him arguing with the youngest and think maybe that he shook him.. and that he knew even though he was studying that it would be his turn next- because Daddy was in a bad mood.

Sundays are always a horrible day and I wish H would just go off, meet some friends, go to the gym, play golf… anything. He says that he can’t as the house is always a tip.

No one has been physically hurt… but this can’t go on. Yet they listen to my H and don’t listen to me so I’m afraid on so many levels of trying to do this on my own.

I’m honestly lost and feel that I’ve lost what is normal? No family is perfect and LTB isn’t straight on my list either..

My 19 year old niece is visiting over Christmas this year from Australia. I'd like to get her some gifts but they must be suitable for her to travel back to Aus with - not too heavy or bulky. I also can't afford to spend loads of money, but would like to get her a few bits to open.

She likes Harry Potter, Taylor Swift and is quite girly, but I don't really have any idea about specific brands she likes. She will be studying history and english lit when she goes to uni next year, but I don't really know what specific eras/periods she is most interested in.

I would be grateful for any tips/ideas :)

My husband is getting more gorgeous with every year that passes. Hes really grown in to himself. Me, on the other hand am turning into my grandmother. I am a mum who works at home. Housewife we would have been called back in the day. Im in my mid 50's now and I need a glow up. I never wore make up and i think i need to start. but since many of my days are spent only in the house or caring for elderly mum i dont know when to put it on, Also whats a casual but polished style now adays with out looking like the local free P pastors wife?
i need serious help. Photo for ref. dont look quite my age yet but no idea how to dress or what to do with my face. can i have advice please Skincare regime is good and skin is clear. thanks peeps.

Previous thread

For you lovely, crazy folk who have followed along, incredibly we need another thread.

I'm at a major European airport for a changeover. I'm 8 weeks pregnant and have been having constant nausea and some lightheadedness.

Came off my plane a few hours ago and was feeling really really awful and thought I'd faint. Some airport staff showed me through the airport into the gates, were really lovely and put me on some airport chairs and told me to lie across them with my feet up. The staff were so helpful, remained with me for ages and eventually when I kept insisting I was fine, told me to stay there for as long as needed and to make sure I eat etc.

That was about three hours ago. I've had a good nap and I've just woken up to a woman with two children, and she was pulling my legs off the chairs and talking to me in another language. I looked around and there were free chairs across the room and (still kind of in a blur) asked what she was doing. She said she needed the three seats next to me for her and her children. I said I'm really sorry but I'm pregnant and have been feeling unwell, and that I actually haven't been upright for a few hours. I was starting to slowly gather myself and sitting up, honestly the nausea was HORRENDOUS and I constantly feel on the edge of vomiting. And the woman comes out with 'Im pregnant too and need a seat, god not everyone has to be so dramatic about it!'

I wasn't refusing to move btw, I was just awoken in a fog and stirring myself upright while feeling awful.

She looked livid and started huffing, tutting and ranting in another language at me.

Then someone nearby actually intervened and pointed out there were other seats (for three people) just a short distance away, so she walked away still ranting in another language.

So I laid back down and spent the next 10 minutes with her children running back and forth between us and jumping on my seats and shouting. She seemed full of rage that I dare be laid in the seats and didn't immediately jump up when she was literally lifting me out of her way.

I've removed myself, had a cry as I feel awful and full of hormones and am now trying to eat something. But the more I think about it, the more I'm so so angry at her.

I was literally put there and told to lay down by airport staff, and it's quite normal to see people sleeping at the airport. The space wasn't crowded and there were plenty of available seats in the area. I was polite and said sorry and was literally trying to move.

Not sure if I'm flooded with hormones but it feel she's totally unreasonable.

YABU - she's being reasonable and I should have moved quickly

YANBU - she shouldn't have moved my legs and could have given me some grace

Anyone have keratosis pilaris that seems to have got worse / shifted locations during or after menopause? I have had it since my early teens, it was on my face then, back in the 80s nobody really knew what it was from memory, I was told to stop picking or scratching it.

Have Irish and Scottish blood and was told just put up with it as people with Celtic origins tend to suffer from it.... not very helpful. But it disappeared from my face as I got older.

Then I had it on my arms until I started using Moroccan black soap and the hammam glove thing. But now it's on my abdomen, of all places, and I'm scratching it while I'm asleep from the look of it. The embarrassment! Good job I'm single.... Anyway, I'm coming up 58 and I would really love to get on top of this pain in the wotsit chicken skin.

Exfoliating acids? The Ordinary? Other brands? Didn't want to shell out until I got some hints and tips from you helpful people here.

Previous threads
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5576816-aibu-to-think-my-friend-is-overdoing-emergency-stockpiling?page=1
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/5585259-crisis-what-crisis-is-my-friend-over-doing-the-stockpiling-and-am-i-too-continuation-thread-2?page=1

Continuation of the AIBU to think my friend is overdoing emergency stockpiling thread for discussion about the government advice to stockpile for an imminent emergency and what the heck that emergency might actually be.

Spoiler: it's more of a perfect storm of lots of factors coming together to potentially form one great clusterfuck from economic woes, global energy shortages (mainly diesel), potential food shortages, war and madmen to crazy weather patterns rather than a clear identifiable singular thread.
This is a practical thread and a bit of a handhold thread to make sense of events and how they may affect you. This is not an end of the world thread.

Remember an emergency can range from a temporary unexpected event to a much longer crisis but the underlying principles generally stay the same.

This is the official government information and advice, if you want further details on what the actual recommendations are:
https://prepare.campaign.gov.uk/get-prepared-for-emergencies/

ROUGH STATUS REPORT (as of 9am 22nd Oct - please note this isn't fully comprehensive, and is moving FAST)
Civil Unrest reported in:
France, Italy, Greece, Belgium, Albania, Indonesia - multi reasons, but largely due to economic pressures and the cost of living
Spain has had problems but these have temporarily stopped, probably due to significant weather related issues due to the Dana effect
More protests planned for this coming weekend
High Alert in the Middle East:
Netanyahu now committed to regime change in Iran, as he believes they are developing a nuke.
The US has pulled all Embassy Staff from Saudi Arabia and is hoping no one notices that they've ordered personal and families across the Gulf home and then seem to have lied that they have.
The Emir of Qatar has stated at their equivalent of the annual King's Speech at the Opening of Parliament that war was coming and to prepare for the worst scenarios. US pulling planes out of Qatar.
The Egyptian PM has warned the country of severe crisis ahead - given the nature of the country this is related to their alliance with Saudi Arabia and their reliance on the Suez Canal which the Yemeni rebels now control access to and their exposure to famine
Iran is saying if there is another attack, the gloves are off and they'll try and wipe out the middle east oil industry as they go down, as well as hitting critical civilian infrastructure.
Much movement / noise is similar to run up to the first US attacks this year. Debate over whether the attack will come before the Israeli Election or the US Midterms - possibly within 72hours - latest mood music suggests potentially this weekend. Seems to be shifting to a when not if.
Israel election: 27th Oct
Prices and Shortages:
Diesel needs no real reminder - we need it for haulage, mass transportation and farming, we are screwed without it. Fuel Emergency declarations in West Virgina, Kentucky, Michigan, Maryland, Arizona, Nebraska and Texas - typically allowing limited dyed diesel use for ag or commercial vehicles. Illinois and Missouri have also allowed by not under emergency orders. Less reported is the fertiliser shortage and knock on effect, poor yields this year and the effect of El Nino on next years, sulphur export bans and the blockade on Ukrainian and Russian wheat exports which are particularly crucial in feeding North Africa and the Middle East. This is liable to have significant impact on the UK with 6% rises in food already expected next year (and there's every reason to believe this will be higher especially with civil unrest all over the place). Reports of aviation fuel running low in some parts of Europe with emergency supplies (which can't last forever) being used.
El Nino:
See above about farming and also think of disasters - like the ones Spain is facing with flooding. Storm Austin is incoming and there is a weather warning for the South of England with power outages and flooding possible today/tomorrow.
The Internet:
PHP is 70% of the internet. Its got compromised so it can pretty much all be hacked. This is VERY BAD (in capital letters). Many websites offline whilst this is sorted including multiple government ones around the world.
Just AI generally - everything from putting everyone out of work to just hacking and killing us all. No Biggie.
Trump and the Mid Terms:
Trump is firmly losing his marbles. He's defected to Russia, can't stop rambling about men's arses, is waving at non-existent people, his team are known to be considering ways to impose martial law, he's getting heckled at Trump rallies by his own supporters, 83% of all voters think the biggest problem in the US now isn't the cost of living crisis but government corruption. He's being called a traitor by some of his fellow Reds. Mid Terms look a disaster and Trump probably won't accept them. He's reversing bills that Congress passed weeks ago by executive order.
Mid-Terms: 3rd Nov
Ukraine and Russia:
Ukraine facing massive problems still cos Elon has got the ump. Starlink isn't working at face enough speeds. They've bombed a shedload of Data Centres in Russia. This has killed off the Russian Internet and many Trump/Musk supporters in the process (one way or another) which screws up Twitter (and its value) for them. Ukraine is getting blamed for diesel shortages cos they refuse to stop hitting Russian refineries even though it has no choice now its been cut off by the US. Zelenskyy now says Trump isn't an ally. Trump wants Zelensky gone and thinks Putin is being reasonable and Ukraine doesn't want peace. Germany states it would have activated Art5 if the confirmed Russian sabotage attack on Liepzig had been successful.
Russia is apparently planning to step up its sabotage campaign in Europe after having successfully sunk a few boats in EU waters (Romania / Bulgaria - these sinkings have been in both international waters off the coast AND within their official territorial waters).
Economy:
Lots of debt. Much concern over the implications of this particularly with regards to AI and state debt in the US, UK, France and Japan (but not restricted to). Much money put into gold by China. Background of this bad given the approach of potentially multiple crisis.
France Moody's credit review: Due tomorrow 23rd Oct - expected to be not good especially in the current political climate in France
UK Budget: 28th October

They are all interconnected and one or many could tip us into abject chaos. Or not. The risks here are sky high. Of what? Take your pick.

Have not sold a house before and have no-one to ask on this.

I moved abroad a couple of years ago and rented my (v nice) house to some nice tenants. They wanted to buy the place and I agreed, at a slightly lower price than the estate agent valuation range for the ease of having a secure sale etc (think valuation range 400-450, agreed 390).

they have had a survey, great, which has come up with an internal leak in the upstairs ensuite, possibly making a damp issue in floor. They have asked me if I am willing to pay for further investigation and for costs of repair.

Gut feeling is that this is not right. Surely costs of further investigations are borne by potential buyers and then you negotiate on price. Since I agreed a price at below 3 estate agents’ estimates I’m loath to renegotiate further. But are my instincts right? Tia

This situation happened completely organically I did not give it a moment’s thought I admit I didn’t think it through.

I have been with my partner for two years. He will move in with me next year.

His family seem very nice and when they have met my sons who are mid teens they have been polite.

Every few months his father invites us to a pub lunch and he pays. There is DP, a brother and a sister, and six grandchildren and they are joined by SiL and occasionally BiL.

Yesterday my sons were at home so we brought them, we gave it no thought whatsoever.

They shook hands and everyone was polite. It was a good meal with lots of laughter. DP’s father went to pay and left with his daughter and her children. We had a drink from the bar and went to leave. A young man ran after my eldest son with the bill for my sons’ meals.

I have never been so upset and embarrassed in my life.

I never thought consciously that I would get free meals for my sons but neither would I have not paid for two kids when I was out with my family.

Partner dropped us home and he and his son left. He said he would speak to his dad but I don’t want him to.

Once more into the breach dear friends!!

I work in a prison. Im not an officer but I have intermittent contact with prisoners.

I’ve been working with one man in particular who has told other staff he intends to stab me in the heart. He’s done things like this before (not to staff but in community) and that he “hates” me.

I wasn’t informed of any of this until I an email trial about his “behaviour” over the weekend.

im due to go in tomorrow but im feeling really on edge. Aibu to say I’m not going in?

Daughter is having a registry office wedding, family only, followed by a meal in a local restaurant. Colour theme is navy and lilac. So I’m not going to go full on MOTB. What do you think to this dress? I would wear lilac heels and carry a lilac clutch.

www.monsoon.co.uk/rowena-v-neck-ruffle-floral-print-maxi-dress-blue-24010650003.html

11 yr old DD, not at all girly, loves Harry Potter, His Dark Materials and recently Agatha Christie. We have loads of books already and too much stuff. Was thinking tickets to see HP and the Cursed Child. Is it any good? Other than panto and In the Night Garden when she was very young, she has not been to the theatre.

I will go first:

TePe Interdental Expanding Floss
CCS Foot Cream
Woly Foam Leather Cleaner
Goddards Silver Cloth
Reiss Belts
JL tights with silicone grips
Magnesium for better sleep

Keep calm and carry on!

…… so saved thousands of pounds & on holiday at holiday village turkey & the weather is appalling, I may be being precious but I’m so so sad, nothing much to do with two teenagers & it’s not meant to be any better all week, saves hard for this holiday & feeling super sad :(

Well ….confusion reigns supreme! , more and more information dribbling out! , still no idea what is going on! ….its time for outside help!

What in the name of fresh hell is happening?

I'm 48, on ALL the HRT, high ferritin (over 100).

Very down in the dumps. Almost empty nester. Bored out of my brain. Term time office job. No spare cash. Live rurally.

I don't know what I'm going to fill the hours with for the remaining 30yrs of my life.

I don't want to volunteer. I don't go to church and have no interest in doing so after a catholic upbringing. I can't contemplate changing job as I am always knackered and the idea of having to adapt to something new makes me feel incredibly worried and knackered in advance. Also I feel I'm getting too old for that. My memory is abysmal. HRT made no difference to remembering things.

I spent much of the school summer holidays lying on the bed avoiding the heat and staring at the ceiling or having naps.

House is on the market so zero point in gardening etc. I do all the bare minimum maintenance.

I've got no get up and go. At all. I exercise which I love and eat loads of fibre, but I find eating protein exhausting. I don't like exercise classes (hate exercising with other people) so workout at home.

I am the cook so always need to be at home in the early evenings and at weekend dinner times.

If you became an empty nester what did you do? Where do I even start? How do I pull myself out of such a dip?

Can anyone recommend any? I have never been able to use tampons and am sick of pads, they irritate me and feel horrible. I have had a pair of modi bodi pants in the past and also a pair of cheeky wipes - i prefer cheeky wipes as the entire pant is absorbent whereas the modi bodi ones only have the gusset and I dont really trust them as much for a heavy flow.

I still feel a bit conflicted as they are expensive and I don’t quite know how you’d manage them when out and about. Don’t fancy a full change in a public loo or carrying soiled pants around in my bag. But I do feel like I need a change. Like the idea of a mooncup but again, it’s a lot of money for something that I might not get on with.

I tend to have a really heavy first and second day, this has ramped up a lot as I approach peri. But after that it is pretty manageable. Just want a good, reliable, comfy pair that aren’t too tight but also won’t leak. Any recommendations welcome!

• 1kg/2lb 4oz chicken thigh fillets (around 12 thighs), boneless and skin removed

www.bbc.co.uk/food/recipes/slow_cooker_honey_and_64343

Do I start with 1kg of chicken or end with 1kg of chicken having removed the skin and bones?