Took dog for a walk and just had some Leopard print wide leg pants, black sandals and a black band tee.

DH took some candid photos of me and just sent them over whatsapp.

Jesus Christ :( I look awful. I look so old. So tired.

I'm 41. 5ft5. 9st.

I look ill, I look hunched. My hairs a state.

I look about 60 years old.

What the hell has happened to me :(

Inspired by some other threads (NC alert) I’ve decided the time is ripe for an overhaul/glow up. My plan is to make significant changes over a period of time and do a new one each month whilst keeping the old changes- nothing revolutionary but needed and I hope to get long term benefits/results.

at the moment my diet is pretty crap-which will be my next focus - the first was a new hairdo (which is a change and growing on me!), then multi vitamins, then 2L of water each day then a form of exercise each week.

In the short term before as I’m making bigger adjustments I’m hoping to get some advice on what are the likely to be the most significant gains to look like me but better.
I don’t like the feel of acrylics and currently don’t wear any make up.

Was chatting with my mum friends the other day & talking about who wanted more babies.

One of my friends said she wasn’t going to have anymore because whilst she loved her son to bits, she didn’t want another boy! She said felt that 2 boys would completely change the dynamics of the household, 2 boys would egg each other on and it would just be too much of a boisterous household.

I was just totally shocked that she would say that out loud tbh and it’s really clouded my view of her.

I’ve got 2 girls and I just can’t imagine not wanting to have gone for the 2nd in case the house was too girly !

Aibu to think this was an awful thing to say and back off from her?

I mean the green one, I’ve heard the Superdrug version is good, anyone tried it?

My friend's dog is terrified of cardboard boxes but completely ignores thunderstorms 😅

Pets can be so strange sometimes.

What's the weirdest thing your dog or cat is scared of?

Vacuum cleaners? Bananas? Plastic bags? Random household objects?

I'd love to hear some funny stories.

Im Not sure why I’m posting but I’m lying awake feeling terrified of what these symptoms could mean.
I am 12 weeks pregnant and the last week have had diarrhoea with random awful stomach cramps that feel like trapped wind (which I don’t have) I’m nauseous but not in a pregnancy way, if that makes sense, and am all of a sudden exhausted and the smallest of tasks take so much energy and I become breathless. I also have abdominal pain where the slightest touch can hurt and just feel constantly bloated. I went to the gp today but they didn’t examine my stomach, gave me some anti sickness tablets and told me to do a sample. My mind is going to bowel cancer, but I do always think the worst when it comes to illness. Has anyone else had these symptoms and it turn out to be something else?

Hello.

I'm so fed up with buying slightly shit t-shirts.

If you have large boobs so can't do anything completely unfitted, but don't want to wear tight t-shirts (which used to be my go-to when young) any more, what do you wear?

I think I like this (I think) from Lands End Women's Cap Sleeve V-Neck Supima T-Shirt | Lands' End and have ordered to try it.

Basically, my aim is to minimise the top.

Anyone got any more links/tips?

I can't work out if I'm being unreasonable, but I'm feeling a bit unnerved. We had new neighbours move in a few weeks ago. Since then we've had an emergency service at their house practically everyday. One night the police and a taxi woke us all up over an unpaid taxi fare, which lasted an hour. The next night we were woken by police doing what sounded like hammering a door down inside. A few days later a fire engine was outside at midnight ....various police car and ambulances on and off throughout the past week or so. Today a fire engine has been sat directly outside my house for four hours, blocking the road. The police have been there, with another ambulance. Took about five hours for everyone to leave. I asked the firemen if everything was alright and they simply replied 'yes' although I'm sure I heard them mention knives. It's not very pleasant for your kids to arrive home from school and find a fire engine and four firemen standing directly outside their house. A friend who works for housing has suggested reporting it to the council, but I'm not sure if I want to be that person. But equally, I also don't want to keep being woken up at night and it's starting to put me off letting the kids go out on their own. I imagine it's to do with mental health, which I sympathise with but it still doesn't take away the impact it's having. Is it unreasonable to report it?

As title- last year we used the usual sultan once (applying every 2 hours at least and they burnt on their shoulders and ended up with red cheeks.

Want to avoid this happening- what does everyone recommend?

The saga continues

Could I have a bit of perspective on this please?

Our neighbours of many many years installed a high pitched bird scared in their back garden. It drives us crazy and it doesn’t actually stop the pigeons going into their garden. We have asked them a couple of themes if they could turn it off or at least down. When they refused we asked if they could at least leave it off until later in the morning as DD was sleeping in the back bedroom and it was waking her up. That was also met with a refusal. So the weather got nicer again and it meant we couldn’t sit in the back garden or have the patio doors open. We tried one last time but again they refused to turn it off stating what he did in his property was up to him - if only the sound stopped at the boundary that would be fair enough. we made a noise complaint to the council. They got a letter and we got a diary sheet to fill in. One of our other neighbours spoke to them (they are also sick of the noise but not willing to do anything about it) and he told them nothing was going to change. Someone else must have made a complaint as the council guy came out to him and told him to remove it. Neighbour is now chatting shit about us and the easy going relationship we had has gone forever. I know how different noises can be perceived differently by different people but we couldn’t stand that high pitched whining.

was I unreasonable to take whatever steps necessary to allow me to use my garden ?

What the title says really!

DC’s Dad and I aren’t together. He moved 30 minutes away and now lives in the countryside.
He expects me to drive to his new home but it’s very hilly and is in the arse end of nowhere, I really don’t feel comfortable driving there in my small car. For reference his own Mum also won’t drive there in her small car.

I also really don’t like motorway driving in my car as I feel nervous as it’s so small and I have to put my youngest in the front seat rear facing. This means anywhere the children need to go that includes motorway driving DC’s Dad has to take them.

I can’t afford to upgrade my car at the moment.

DC’s Dad thinks I’m being unreasonable about driving but he has a huge car (I would feel safe if I had his car as the children are all in proper car seats in the middle of back of the car).

AIBU?

Bloke I’ve been seeing invited me over for dinner Saturday night. Idea was he’d cook dinner, I stay the night and then drive to the coast Sunday morning.

So I got there and he said he’d decided we should get a takeaway instead of him cooking. I said I don’t like to eat takeaway but I’m happy to eat anything … beans on toast would do. He said he didn’t have anything in. No bread, nothing. I’d noticed there was a pizza in the fridge so I suggested we cook that, he said no as it’s his daughters (she lives with him, 12) and she’d given strict instructions not to touch it. I said “well surely we could just replace it tomorrow before she comes home?” He said no as she’d made it herself … it was an asda pizza!! Ok she may have chosen the toppings but surely we could have just had the same one made again??

Anyway I agreed to the takeaway but made it clear that I wouldn’t be making a habit of it as I’m health conscious. I ended up paying for half of it which normally I would expect but he’d invited me over for dinner!!?

Anyway next morning we got up, he made a coffee and then said we’d only be able to have the one as he was running low on coffee but he said he had plenty of tea bags in. I don’t drink tea.

Anyway time is ticking on and he asked if I was ready to head out to the coast … I said “are we not having any breakfast?” He replied “I don’t really have anything in”. So I said “no cereal?” He said no. I said “what do you normally do for breakfast?” So he said “I don’t normally bother or I have a packet of crisps”.

Now the next thing I said is my AIBU …

I said “what does your daughter eat for breakfast?”. He looked pissed off and started stuttering etc before saying she just has crisps or whatever. I didn’t say anything else but I told him I’d be stopping off at shop on the way to buy MYSELF something to eat. He then starts banging on about McDonald’s breakfast etc etc which I refused.

Hes messaged me this morning saying he’s a bit upset that I implied his daughter isn’t well taken care of. I simply asked what she normally had for breakfast since there was fuck all in the cupboards!!

Was I wrong to ask??

I'm currently away in Spain with DP, DD4, DS1 and my brother (22), I'm quite close to my brother and he comes over often when we're at home.

In the past he has struggled mentally, he's also T1 diabetic and while as a teen he ate alot of sugary things and didn't do his insulin and as a result he was very unwell. He's also got a habit of drinking too much which he can't do and he was once left by his ‘ friends’ when he had q hypo so I do worry about him lot, even though it's well managed he can make silly decisions especially when struggling.

Our mum mentioned to me before we left that he had been acting off again but he was saying he was “fine”, I hadn't noticed anything but I obviously kept it in mind.

We got here Saturday and it was already off to a bad start due to our flight being delayed, yesterday was good until last night when brother disappeared without saying where he was going. It turns out he was in a bar drinking on his own.

Long story short, he had a hypo and was argumentative when I was trying to help him, DP had our children with him and I was with my brother, he was eventually fine but I stayed with him in his room to keep an eye on him. He's spent the day in his room sleeping off his hangover

Dp wasn't pleased about me staying in his hotel room as the baby kept waking and he said “so much for a relaxing holidays” (as if we could get one with kids anyway) and was annoyed that he hasn't joined us so far after we paid for the holiday and has said it's like having another kid but instead we have a manchild acting like a moody teenager so tonight we've argued because he's annoyed that I'm obviously worried about my brother
he's now stormed out too after saying he's ruined the holiday

AIBU here or is he?

Over the half term week we saw dh family a few times. A kids birthday party, family bbq and couple of outings to the park and pub.

I admit I’m not very fashionable , don’t really follow it and wear what I like and what suits me. For context this is what I wore each time Kids party : black 3/4 length leggings and striped vest top and converse
family bbq hibiscus pattern dress and sandals
park denim shorts and a vest top and sandals
pub same hibiscus dress (it’s very old I’ve had it years but I love it)

The first time SIL said ‘oh here’s Y2K girl’ and laughed at the dress. The second time I wore it she quietly said to me ‘a spotty dress would suit you better - polka dots are in right now’

When I wore the denim shorts she said ‘you’re brave ! They are very short ! How many years have you had those!’

When I wore the 3/4 leggings she again took me aside and said ‘let’s go shopping one day - you need some wide leg linen trousers not these leggings ! I’m surprised they even still sell them or are they vintage again ‘ and laughed?

I said to her no thanks I’m comfortable and it’s hot so I’m wearing what I like and what keeps me cool. She said ‘come on sometimes we all need a bit of a refresh!’

AIBU to think she was really rude ??? I didn’t feel hurt but just irritated.

I have 2 dd’s, 6 and 2. My MIL was very eager and excited to be a Granny and is a great one. She has a beautiful relationship with my first daughter and was almost too keen to have her all the time. Got a travel cot and had her overnight from around 1year. Fast forward to now, a lot has changed. She is caring for her elderly parents and has had a lot of bad luck resulting in a lot of stress for her. Since my second daughter was born, there hasn’t been even half as much of an effort, she hasn’t ever had her overnight and will take her for a few hours if she’s able, whereas she picks DD1 up from school every Thursday and will have her for sleepovers. DD2 naturally starting to notice and I’m sure wonder what’s going on.

I Completely appreciate that circumstances have changed, she is six years older and has said she isn’t able to manage my youngest at the moment. AIBU if we gently say to her, we are not expecting her to do more than she is able to do, but it is beginning to be unfair and if she isn’t able to dedicate time for DD2, then I don’t feel right about sending DD1 off for special granny time whilst DD2 questions why she’s always left behind. She dropped DD1 off after a sleepover at the weekend and said “bye DD1, see you on Thursday. DD2, I’ll maybe see you on Friday depending how the week goes”. It just really hurts my mummy heart! ☹️

I recently read my first book (novella, I suppose) by Honoré* *de Balzac, The Girl With the Golden Eyes, more or less accidentally. I was at the library, and realized I need something small to carry along for a bunch of bus rides, and that happened to come to hand.

It left me cold. The first 20% or so was mildly enjoyable, basically expository opining about Parisian life. Then the major middle part is about the handsome young man’s infatuation with an unknown cloistered handsome girl, basically about his hopes and plans to seduce and abandon her. That aspect became increasing distasteful, at least to me, partly because of the antiquated (French?) notions about male-female relations. And then it resolves itself into rip-roaring Gothic romanticism hysteria, with plot twists coming out of nowhere.

I know I should be more respectful and appreciative, but I just couldn’t get past the aggravations of the plot. According to the book’s introduction, Balzac is considered at realist???

That is similar to this one?! I love this but it’s out of stock everywhere. I’ve tried Vinted and there’s nothing! I’m a size 19

I’ve just finished re reading Wuthering Heights. When I read it at 20 i remember I couldn’t put it down. Read long into the night and cried. (proper uncontrollable sobbing) reading the ending. I would always say was one of books had loved reading most.

This time around (reading 40 years later) I dragged myself through it I couldn’t bring myself to like any of the characters- except the loyal Ellen and Hareton. I felt empathy for Catherine and Cathy - young and impulsive.

I suppose I must have been crying because Heathcliff is determined and happy that he will be reunited with Catherine but I didn’t feel it way I felt at 20. This time I felt such strong dislike for Heathcliff and his anger and control and sorry for the lack of agency Catherine and Cathy have.

I’m actually amazed how differently it hit me this time. Be so interested in whether anyone else has experienced this. Was it just age or also that times have changed?

I’d love some help please.

I need to find a dress but ideally a gown to wear to a black tie ball at the end of June. I need to be able to dance in it.

I’m 5 foot 3 and a hourglass size 12 but on my way to size 10 thanks to weight loss injections. I’m a jewel winter with pale skin, hazel eyes and dark brown hair. I don’t suit high necklines.

Budget up to £500 - I really want to look good!

I found two gorgeous gowns on the outnet from Marchesa Notte but one is navy which is a colour I don’t think would suit even though I love the style.

the other I love the look of but I’m not sure of the colours in the floral details.

all suggestions gratefully received

Short version: my MIL has asked me to share details of her friends’ wedding gifts to us. I don’t want to. AIBU?

Longer version: My MIL is a kind and generally laid back woman with lots of close friends. She has always attached a lot of meaning to gifts and cards. Every birthday she makes a point of counting them and telling us how many she’s received. Gifts don’t need to be fancy, but she clearly appreciates the recognition. Not a problem.

Her son and I got married recently. Quite a few relatives and family friends were invited to the wedding and, although we didn’t have a registry and said no gifts, a few still kindly gave us small gifts or amounts of money.

MIL has now asked for details of what their friends/family gave us for the wedding. She knows that I kept note of everything to write thank you cards. I feel uncomfortable with this. There are no secrets but it feels like it’s not my information to share. I suggested she ask her friends, but she said it would be easier to just get all the info in one go.

I honestly don’t think she could even say why she wants to know… it would probably make her happy to see her friends being generous, although there’s a small chance she wants to compare the info with amounts she’s given to their children in the past. Either way, she won't do anything with the information. But it feels like a tacky fixation and I don’t want to facilitate it!

My preference is to say no and repeat I’m very happy for her to ask her friends directly. DH thinks we should just send the list and not make it awkward. WWYD?

YABU - send the list
YANBU - don’t send the list

Okay I'll go first....
Those Norwegian socks
Purdy and Fig (caught me on one of those bloody automatic subscriptions too so I paid twice!)
The singing cactus toy! (Although I still think its funny 😂)

I could cry right now.

I understand banning thin strapped vests but surely thick straps are fine? She’s also banned all shorts (including knee length) and skirts that sit at the knee. Basically we have to go down to ankle length trousers.

AIBU to genuinely consider quitting my job? Her office is air conditioned but we’re in a horrible hot sun trap!

I'm looking for a short sleeved pull over darkish blue/royal blue dress just below the knee, plain, don't mind pockets, for a funeral. I'm 5'4" size 12. No back zip due to severe arthritis. Any help would be much appreciated, I've gone through Next, M/Sp, but they are either too short or too thick; budget up to around £60, many thanks.

Heard of him? Probably not, because there seems to be an almost complete news blackout about him. Basically the police handcuffed him and let him bleed out because they thought he may have said something racist - he didn't, it was a lie told by his murderer. Henry was 18.