From what I have read, Karmelo Anthony (who is black African American) took a concealed knife to a track event. When it started raining he ran to another team's tent to shelter. He was told to leave by a white athlete called Austin Metcalfe. KA refused saying ' 'Touch me and see what happens', According to one account I read he was repeatedly told to leave and replied the same way each time. Austin Metcalfe then pushed KA to get him to leave and KA pulled out the knife and stabbed AM in the chest, killing him.

Apparently sections of America are outraged that KA has now been convicted of murder. Possible sentence range in America is 5 to 99 years for this offence and he got 35 years.

I don't understand how this is not murder. In UK law if you can run away you must, and he didn't. In UK law if you kill someone when you could have run, you will be tried for murder.

KA took a knife. He could have left (even if he thought it was a dick move to ask him to leave when it was raining - you can't murder people for being dickish about their gazebo) but chose to not to, escalating the situation with threatening language and then stabbed a young man in the chest.

I just think something has gone terribly wrong in USA society where this man is treated as a victim, not the person who he killed, and this case is regarded as an injustice against him. I hope the UK does not go down this route.

Posting here for traffic really. DD 14 has had issues in secondary school- we suspect ADHD to be honest. I am unravelling my own mid life ADHD traits at the moment too.

For DD, one of the things that manifests in school is persistent lateness. She just can’t organise herself to get to lessons on time. The school has now brought in a punishment for lateness where anyone late more than 5 mins gets sent to a punishment room for the lesson. Needless to say DD is now missing loads of lessons because of her lateness.

I know that it’s annoying for teachers when kids are late for lessons but it feels like this policy unfairly targets kids, like my DD, who might or do have some issues with timekeeping because of other things going on.

Aibu? I am trying to unravel some of this for DD (and myself) but I am really angry about how punitive this policy is- it feels like it disadvantages kids who genuinely have issues with organising their time and themselves. The corridors are really busy in school and she gets upset and overwhelmed and that doesn’t help all of this.

If you were very pale skinned, strawberry blonde & not good in heat generally but you had a dinner with a professional contact in Milan in July, what would you wear?

50yrs old 5ft 9" & size 12

I want to look as good as i can! There will possibly be some sightseeing and lunch / dinner / drinks

I'm probably going to get flamed in this thread judging by how others have gone.

DH has been made redundant, he was the main earner.

We're lucky that he'll get a decent payout, equivalent to 6 months take home salary.

I work 30 hours per week. I got a promotion in February and have a decent take home, above national average.

DH will be entitled to contributions based JSA and we'll get child benefit back, but even with those and cutting back our bills we'll be £1200 short per month. And that doesn't account for any personal spends, kids clothes/ uniform, adult clothes, birthdays etc.

Due to my recent promotion, me getting a better paying job is extremely unlikely, even if I went full time. I'm close to the ceiling of my profession. There's no option to go full time where I am either.

DH is (was) a well paid professional in a competitive field and was quite senior in that field. He's already looking for jobs, has sorted his CV, spoken with several recruiters and has an interview lined up for next week.

Any suggestions on what we can do? Advice/ support?

Without sounding like an episode of Motherland.
DH and I work fulltime (professional jobs) and have to manage a tight diary with kids.
The last few weeks were always planned to be busy- GCSEs, work experience and school runs for a primary school child. All planned carefully as we both have to travel but always deconflict diaries. We both arranged to stay local and take leave for the odd day.
Until of course my husband “had” to travel.
and the solution as always was
“I’ll get my mother in…..” Marvellous.

so I like my MIL and it’s very kind for her to come but it makes my life actually harder not easier whilst he is away.
Another bed to change
More consideration about what to cook for dinner when I do get home from work
The house needs to be kept tidier
Polite conversation to make in the evening when I’m tired and monosyllabic
She is here for the whole week…

But the worse thing is the poor poppet (my DH) appeared for 24 hours before flying out again and reverted to being 10 again with his mother in the house. Needed a “lie in” whilst I got up again at 6am, did packed lunches, and took two kids to exams and work experience on 6 hours sleep myself.

so now frazzled and pissed off. The mental load is large.

”I’ll get my mother in” is not the easy way out and why do men revert to being even more useless when their mother is around.

Grrrr and breathe

I reported an inappropriate sexual comment made by another parent at a soft play area yesterday.

I was climbing down from one of the raised areas with my DS and didn’t realise he was climbing up. I said a polite sorry and he replied not to worry and that if he knew his £10 entry included him getting an arse in his face he would have visited months ago. I challenged him and then reported to staff.

The staff approached me 10/15 minutes later to say they’d spoken to him and he had admitted saying that but was ‘obviously joking’ and he relayed his apologies, so they considered the matter sorted.

Personally, I think he should have been asked to leave. He made me feel extremely uncomfortable and could have gone on to say similar to other parents present.

I'm looking for a dress for a black tie university reunion. I'm a size 8, soft post cesearean tum but can smooth it well with control pants, boobs fairly average size (I'm a rare genuine 34C but a bit saggy post breastfeeding so nothing super fitted without a bra. It's a black tie dinner, more midi or maxi dress than ballgown style. It's starting with champagne at 7.30pm so definitely something evening rather than wedding guest style. I'm struggling to find something that says, successful, sophisticated 40 year old rather than either love island or frumpy middle aged woman. Budget about £500 max, generally like Sezane, ME+EM and Reiss but nothing in any of them caught my eye and excited to look further afield. Happy to go shopping in London to try on or order online.

Following on from another thread, what places do you consider overrated that are popular?

Hotel Chocolat = over priced, at best average tasting, would much rather Cadbury's at a fraction of the price.

Amorino = our local one gets packed, as in queue's outside the shop packed. Over priced, very average ice cream, that they seem to be able to charge a premium for because you can mix flavors and it's a cue little flower shape.

Dominoes, Pappa Johns, Pizza Hut = unless there is a deal on very expensive for what tastes very processed pizza.

I’m aware that that’s an inflammatory thread title bur u guess that is what it boils down to. So to give a bit more detail.

DH and I have two children ; DD is 5 and in reception and our ds is nearly three. I work two and a half days a week, and it’s in a school so off for school holidays.

Before we had children I thought we’d roughly be equal parents. This has not been thr case at all. DH definitely sees anything he does do with the children as a sort of optional extra rather than what has to be done, and everything is left to me. I can count the times he’s had them both together on one hand: that isn’t an exaggeration. Even if he does do something I have to prep everything, so for example he takes DD to school on Friday and collects her as I’m at work, but I have to dress her, give her breakfast, clean teeth, pack bag etc.

As a result the children just gravitate more and more to me. Even if he does do something he just creates more work for me, so if I go out for a couple of hours the house is trashed when I get back, he doesn’t cook for them

Obviously I’ve tried to address it with him, he just goes on the defensive and hones in on a particular occasion (yeah well they started fighting so …) or just whines generally which I hate and is difficult to answer. So now five and a half years down the line I do have to accept this is how things are.

I don’t get a break at all. I get up when the children do, tend to then through the day and night in one case and am responsible for their diet, activities and getting them to said activities and everything. Seven days a week, it’s relentless and I’m already dreading the long school holidays.

So here is where the title is relevant. Truthfully I’ve lost a lot of respect for DH and I’ve come to realise that while he’s basically a kind man he’s also selfish and lazy.

Ending the marriage is one possibility but I’m not sure when I think about it that it would help anything. Yes, I wouldn’t have resentment but the children would be upset and their lives overturned (new schools and nurseries, new home, etc.)

Or if I stay as I am. I have one more year to get through and then when both children are in school I will have a couple of days a week for me. Otherwise, I’d have to be full time and I’m not sure I can take working full time in term time and then switching to full time childcare in holidays.

I know it’s awful and I don’t consider myself a mercenary person but I have to also think about what’s realistic in terms of my mental health and family stability

I’ve got it already - just arrived and fits a treat, I really like it! It’s a very pale blue but in dimmer light looks white, is it too white? I didn’t think so at first but now worrying it’s a bit little girl bridesmaidy. I would probably wear it with a navy jacket or cardigan but if v hot would like to be able to wear it as is. It also comes in navy with white spots which is a bit boring, but maybe more sensible?

Can't decide, but if it's just the way the material is shining, did no one at Debenhams think to re take the photo?!

https://www.debenhams.com/product/wovcor-metallic-finish-tie-side-low-waist-bikini-bottom-with-adjustable-fit_p-4b36a652-99fe-4f8b-806e-58b8ccf8fa0b?colour=Bronze

OK this one is a bit of a challenge. Your style ideas solicited.
I would like to buy a long sleeve black blouse for a formal, work-type event ... but for wearing during hot weather, like recent UK heatwaves when its baking. The blouse has to have long sleeves - this is non-negotiable.
I've got this one below from Cos, which I think the shape of suits me well, but it's quite heavy fabric and I think I would be too hot in a heatwave.
https://www.cos.com/en-gb/women/womenswear/tops/blouses/product/voluminous-pleated-blouse-black-1318588001
Has anyone seen anything that might work? I'm a 14-16 on top - so something flattering to bigger boobs and not skintight would be great. Price point - would try anything, and up to about £150ish for the right thing. TIA

Rainbows everywhere. Hi. I walked into the office building yesterday and rainbow stuff everywhere. Nearby nursery has all rainbow colours on fencing and there was an ambulance with rainbow colours. A bit ridiculous?

For payments? Would you Pay them after every clean within days? Straight away usually? Also, if you needed constant reminding would you set up a standing order given that it can be flexible? Last minute cancellation maybe on both sides sometimes

is leaving to 2-3 weeks without paying acceptable?

Just starting a new thread for those who are following/supporting

I’m all over the place mentally at the moment as I said in my last thread but I’m still listening xx

Since at least 2 pm. Terraces with on street parked so directly outside the house. He is has just been sat there all the time, engine on for half an hour then off again, presumably to stop the battery draining if he is using something electrical.

There are plenty of car parks in the area so no reason to be here. He saw my come back and go in the house so presumably its nothing to do with me, but its freaking me out a bit (and pissed me off as I had to park on another road!).

We are not on a road with shops or a school or doctors etc so no reason to be waiting there for someone for such a long time!

Worth taking the reg in case he comes back tomorrow do we think?

I’ve been invited to my very good friends surprise birthday party in August. Lovely idea I know.

But for complicated reasons to do with my friends mental health that the relative is not aware of she will HATE this and possibly cause a relapse in MH episode she has worked hard to come out of.

But she’ll still have to go so perhaps not knowing and just managing on the day will be good for her?

Also it’s not my business to say anything.

But think she’ll be cross at me not warning her.

What would people do?

I’m a flexitarian. Meaning I have a mostly plant focused diet. But if invited to, say, a work event or a wedding or to dinner at my oldest friend’s parents house, I’ll eat a lot of salad, potatoes, and bread. Maybe even a bit of their chicken or beef roast to not cause offense or awkwardness. So, that’s my choice. I have long term dear friends who are vegans. I respect that. But I want them to contribute an appropriate dish to share with everyone if it’s that’s so important to them. That said, I think they should just eat and shut up. Do what works for them and leave other people alone. Judging and preaching at
your host and other people is bad manners. No matter how passionate you are, there’s no need for that. You don’t persuade people by bullying them. Am I wrong?

The shameful, cowardly and extremely short sighted decision of Starmer and Reeves not to properly fund the defence budget has led to the resignation of the Secretary of State for Defence.

Honestly it's traitorous.

My friends little boy loves reading,he loves books.
It was his birthday last week and I spotted an old Pinocchio book in the charity shop ,it was from 1957 and inside In pencil was a note “to Jim happy 6th birthday love Eleanor”
I don’t know but it tugged at my heart strings a bit.
In my head I thought that book was full of love and rather than sitting in Charity shop or even worse landfill that it would be nice to go to another home to me loved.
I also bought him so new books from Waterstones too.
My friend text basically saying she threw it away as it was dirty ,and her words “no offense but I don’t think you should give a book from a charity shop that’s been good knows where “ as a gift.
Anyway I’m assuming she’s thrown it away
I was a bit sad because I was only trying to do something nice.
It deffo wasn’t dirty either,it was the old pages and they had little yellow areas (not dirt just a old book)

Did I do wrong ?
I have anxiety to start with ,now I’m kicking myself for being too sentimental and probably made a fool of myself

I have a wedding to attend this month and have bought my daughter this dress from vinted, can anyone help me figure out what kind of outfit to wear myself to compliment her? (Not sure on fabric etc)

I'm a size 12, currently breastfeeding and so chest is a bit bigger than normal and also require easy access!

Bonus if you can also think of suggestions for my 8 month old daughter who will likely be trying to wriggle onto the floor or asleep in a baby carrier for most of the afternoon...

I keep finding excessive amounts of sweet wrappers, empty jars of biscoff spread, empty packets of biscuits etc etc hidden in my teen’s room. These are all brands and items we never buy so I know she is getting this herself.

Lots to unpack here such as why she is doing it, which we are working on understanding, but for the purpose of this thread my question is where she gets the money from to pay for all of this. We can see her Revolut spending and it doesn’t match up with any places that would sell these items (for example she’s bought Sainsbury’s and tescos own brand things and has no purchases from there, we also never shop there for our family so she hasn’t added it on whilst running errands). We never have meaningful amounts of cash lying around.

I am worried that she has been shoplifting. If not, then she has stolen from us, technically speaking.

This is not the first time it’s happened. We’ve found copious amounts of wrappers on several other occasions and we’ve always had the same questions about where she gets if all from, and she has never had a good answer. She promises that she has never shoplifted in her life. I’m not sure I believe her.

As this has now become a pattern, it is clear that she is not listening to us when we explain the consequences of shoplifting or stealing (as she must have helped herself to our money somehow, if it’s not shoplifting) I need to help her stop this behaviour before she ends up in serious trouble.

AIBU to consider taking her to the police and explain the above, in the hopes that they scare her straight or get to the bottom of things? Is this a completely unrealistic scenario? Anything else I can try?

Just wondering what brick phone everyone is getting their children for September?
I've been trying to work out if my children would be able to get away with their smart phones if they're hidden 🫣. And also what are peoples view on this new rule? I understand why the schools and government are bringing this policy in but I'm also so frustrated as I've now not only got to spend out loads as my youngest is starting secondary school, but now I need to buy 3 children brick phones as well as a tracker to keep in their bags/on keys 😩 also the school my children are at before they even start you have to spend nearly £500 on an iPad 🫠🫠 madness how they can't have a smart phone but have to have an I pad Imo 🤦🏻‍♀️. Also not sure if I chose the right subject for this or not so sorry if posting in wrong place.

Hello you lovely stylish people.
Im the frumpy aunt. I want to be the stylish aunt. Please help. I’m 60. 5ft 4inches. In reasonable shape. I’ve no idea where to start with the colourful cocktail dress code. The wedding is in London in August. Budget up to £300. I’ve been procrastinating so any ideas, styles and tips very gratefully received.

Help to find a necklace just like this but in solid silver not plated carrieelizabeth.co.uk/products/louise-thompson-lucky-star-set-vintage-chain-silver-plated?variant=46002125602973&country=GB&currency=GBP&utm_medium=product_sync&utm_source=google&utm_content=sag_organic&utm_campaign=sag_organic&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=21923405959&gbraid=0AAAAACv8ZM_AP0vxYpNj3Op62aj6Vp-Rh