I've decided to treat myself, but I don't know where to start.

Firstly I don't know what else to call the kind of bag I'm after, hence "status" bag. I like Chanel, LV, which I know some fashionistas like to sneer at, so please, if that's you, respect that we all have different preferences.

I'm looking for a lovely every day bag, that I don't look stupid with on the school run etc. We live rurally, and didn't before, so all my Chanel and LV with chain straps etc would look majorly over done and I'd feel ridiculous wandering round town on casual shop with one. I do sometimes take my neverful but I'd like something much smaller. Slouchy and comfy as opposed to stiff leather.

What's a casual but still "status" bag that I could go for? I don't like massive gold logos etc like the GG Gucci bags, or the ones with big YSLs down the front. I would like it to be recognisable as branded, but from close up, not from across the street if you see what I mean.

Thank you.

I treated myself to a back, neck and head massage yesterday after a period of stress.

It was at a spa so more of a relaxing vibe and seemed very gentle at the time (I'm more used to sports massages that really hurt).

Yet it seems to have triggered a very painful headache (as well as back pain overnight, like I was all seized up, but this has lessened now). The headache is still going strong over 24 hours later. Paracetamol helps a bit but it is like no other headache I have experienced. The front half of my head is very sore, it feels very deep inside my head.

Is this normal-ish, what is going on?

Not sure if I’m just feeling meh….but I just feel like going home and throwing all my clothes away. I’m currently on my way home from holidaying on the med. It’s not that everyone was amazingly dressed. Just that, from what I saw in the shops it was all simple styles, fabulous material and a bit pricier. Items to last.

Every season I buy some new clothes, not a lot, probably about 10 pieces for summer and 5-7 Autumn/ Winter. It’s a mixture of decent cashmere, a bit of Zara, Reiss and Mango.

I’ve got summer dresses I’ve never worn, and now don’t like (flowery maxi dress from mint velvet), and boots I’ve worn but not fine for 2 seasons.

Not sure what the solution is. Go back and brutally cull it on Vinted and buy more. Or cull, use what I have and not buy anything this Autumn/ Winter.

How do you resist buying new things!!!

DH has bought something for the house without mentioning it to me and I am honestly a bit annoyed.

It was about £40 so its not like he's gone mad or anything but its something we absolutely did not need and I would have rather the money went towards other things tbh.

I only found out because the parcel turned up and when I asked what it was he said he'd ordered it a couple of days ago. I said I wish he'd mentioned it first and he said why, its hardly a big purchase and he doesn't ask me before buying things for himself.

I do see that point but I don't really think its the same when its something for the house? Especially when we've got other things coming up that we need to pay for.

I am not saying he needs to ask permission every time he spends money btw. If he wants to buy himself something with his own money then obviously thats different. But if its coming out of our joint account for something that is basically unnecessary then surely its reasonable to discuss it first?

He thinks I'm being controlling and making an issue out of nothing.

AIBU?

Clothes accessories cosmetics everything.

Currently work 9am to 6.30pm during the week and weigh over 25 stone. I'm not eligible for weight loss medication on the NHS, but cannot afford Mounjaro or Wegovy privately. What second jobs could I apply for in order to pay for Mounjaro? Currently work in an office environment and lead a completely sedentary lifestyle. My weight is so high that I struggle to walk and have left hip/pelvic pain that gets worse when walking.

I usually wear my Docs with a short skirt and tights but would like to wear them with dresses too this autumn/winter - any suggestions as to the best style? If it's relevant, I'm mid 50s and short.

I am browsing boots just now and for yet another year, most of the boots I would otherwise like the look of are lined with fake fur, have some tufty fur sticking out the top, or, worst of all, a collar of fake fur stuck on the outside!

I tend quite sensible in my footwear as I walk a lot but these just strike me as so naff, and sweaty! Also I might want to wear boots in August or May without looking like I'm on a polar expedition!

I live in a 4 in a block. I'm top floor and my garden (private) is the one shown on the left of the photo, surrounded by the fence. Neighbour is beneath and the window shown is her bedroom window. Both fences are mine, previous owner paid for them and for them to be erected.

I get on well enough with downstairs neighbour however the issue is that every time I go out to the garden, she comes out and chats, for a good half hour. She's elderly and I get that she just wants to chat, I have no problem with a short chat now and then, but last time I was out there, I had a whole day free when DC was at their dads and so wanted to get cracking on the garden, she came out 5 separate times, 3 times to chat for ages and will sometimes stand watching me from her bedroom window, which is a little awkward.

I'm not sure if it would be unreaonable of me to heighten the fence a little to give me privacy? I don't want to completely block her light, just her view into my garden! I was thinking of popping a trellis on top, so that light still gets through. Maybe pop some climbing flowers on it. The taller fence that can be seen is 6ft tall, i was thinking of matching the trellis height to this. Local planning permission dictates 6ft 6 inches is the limit that you can have fences, so I don't think I would be breaking any local laws. I'm sure she will complain as she's quite fixed on how she thinks things should be, so I'm not sure if it's unreasonable of me to do this?

Morning all I write this as husband snores away like a walrus beside me! I'm at the end of my tether, I can't take any more. Before the menopause I used to sleep well and didn't notice the snoring. Now it takes me ages to get to sleep even if I'm very tired and then I have to listen to him. If I'm lucky enough to drop off quickly, il wake in the night for the loo & can't get back to sleep because he's snoring. He starts snoring bad as soon as his head hits the pillow. He was even snoring on the beach yesterday I had to keep waking him. He won't go to the Dr's and won't try anything from the shops. When he was younger he broke his nose he says that's what's causing it. I told him to get it fixed but he won't. He won't take turns sleeping in spare room at home either. Apart from a sledgehammer, any ideas on how to stop the snoring?

And she’s already back on social media. Poor baby.

My mum is almost 80 and has been in hospital with a UTI.
She lives on her own and has been very confused, she's on the waiting list for the memory clinic and was sent home with carers going in 4 times a day to help with medication and meals.
She wants me to tell the care company that she won't allow any male carers to go in.
I've reassured her that they will do the same as female ones but she won't have it and is currently ringing everyone in the family complaining about it.

So AIBU to say she can't choose the gender of the carers?

I (28) live in England and need advice regarding child contact and safeguarding. I have two children (ages 3 and 6) with my ex "John" (35).

We split 1.5 years ago on fine terms.

John also has two older children (10 & 12) with his ex "K" (30). K and I are on good terms.

John, K and I have no prior history with police or Social Services.

John has been with his new partner "Jane" (23) for a year. Jane has a 2-year-old child. Over the past year, several major safeguarding and behavioral issues have emerged regarding Jane:

-Jane lives in a Mother & Baby Unit and has active SS involvement due to safeguarding issues. SS banned John from being around Jane’s child after learning he smokes weed (on his balcony). John and Jane repeatedly breached this restriction. Recently, they were caught, SS briefly removed Jane's child and placed him in the father's care, but returned him. John openly admits he ignores SS rules because he doesn't agree with them.

-Jane messaged me telling me to "do one" for co-parenting with John. She also wanted John to stay on the phone the entire time he was providing childcare at K’s house, and expressed that she wants him to financially/emotionally support her son and have her son call him "dad."

-During an argument where John tried to leave her flat and had to physically move past her, Jane called the police claiming domestic violence. John was arrested, but police took No Further Action. John has no prior history of ever being violent toward me, K, or anyone else. Out of malice, Jane then reported John and K to SS for child neglect (NFA’d after investigation). Jane later admitted in a call to SS that she lied.

Despite all this, John rekindled the relationship.

Current Situation:

John previously had a 1-bed flat where the kids stayed overnight 3 weekends a month, but he gave it up. He now only sees his children for a couple of hours each week, either on a weekend or after work in the week. He has now pretty much confirmed he will be moving in with Jane.

Both K and I are extremely uncomfortable with our children being around Jane due to her volatile behavior, false allegations, and disregard for SS rules. John says he will seek legal advice about Jane being around the children, claiming "she apologised, everyone makes mistakes."

Questions:

What options do K and I have to legally stop John from bringing our children around Jane or into her home?

If John takes us to court for a Child Arrangements Order (CAO), how will a court/Cafcass or Social Services view Jane’s ongoing SS involvement, her history of false reports, and their intentional breaches of SS rules?

How likely is a court to rule that our children can or cannot be around Jane given this background?

What immediate steps should K and I take to protect our legal standing while still offering safe contact between John and his children?

We want our children to see their dad regularly, he has always been a good, present dad before Jane came into his life.

Medicine marketplace have just announced price drops in a TT live - looks like from wider comments it might be a drop by others too 🤞🏻

We're moving into a new house and I spend a lot of time deliberating over which colour to paint my bedroom. Green is my favourite colour and a lot of things I own are green - clothes, my phone, my car, my old car and much more. I considered other colours but thought I should go with green as it's my favourite... what could go wrong?

Well the shade of green I've chosen is proving tricky to work with and I now see a lot of inspiration pictures on instagram making me regret my choice. You will see from the photo it's not horrible but the problem is I also want green lampshades, curtains, accessories etc. Which is too much bloody green. If I'd gone with a more neutral colour I could've had green as the accent! I'd repaint it right now but it's a big room and the paint was quite expensive, I got it from Valspar at B&Q and they gave me heavy duty instead of normal so it was a bit dear.

What do I do, repaint the room or just deal with it. I think I want cream carpet but don't really want cream curtains, it's a bit plain. I actually want deep blood red curtains but most people in my life are telling me they will look awful!

YABU - it's fine (give me ideas for which other colours I could incorporate)
YANBU - repaint it!!

I don’t know if I’m over reacting but I actually feel like I really really dislike DH and am questioning the relationship altogether based on a terrible holiday

DD13 ASD and DS15 ADHD

I have ADHD - suspect DH may be ASD but he refuses any testing as says he’s got to 45 just fine

A few incidents have happened and I’m really upset

Firstly we have not been getting on for a long time now and this was meant to be a bit of a deciding holiday as I’m struggling to connect with him at all in recent years mainly with the lack of understanding around the children’s needs or practical help with any of it

So far he has

1. Made DD cry in a shop because DS kept putting a box of Maltesers in the basket that he said were too expensive and ended up tossing them on the side of the self checkout - they then fell on the floor and a shopkeeper asked if he was buying them and he replied “ Obviously not or they would be in my basket wouldn’t they ? “ and left the shop

1. A little boy of 8 years old is on the resort and is very good at pool and has beat both my kids in good spirits each time he’s played them. DH said “ Let’s see how good he is then “ and proceeded to floor him, hitting the balls in really hard and a little aggressively. I was mortified that a 45 year old would take joy in beating a small 8 year old and my son then got annoyed with DH and tried to knock the cue out of his hand on the last shot which made DH shout “ if you did that to someone in a real pool match they would punch you in the face “

Lastly, me and DD went to look in a shop at the airport and DH and DS were meant to wait outside

When we came out they were gone so we made our way to the gate thinking they would be there - they weren’t so I called him and he was furious that he had waited outside and we had gone anyway

Turns out he was nearby but not outside so we just missed him by accident but when we got back FD was upset as DH had said “ Well if they’re late it’s their own fault and they’ll have to deal with being stuck in Italy won’t they? “

DS panicked and told us when we met back up with them and DD then got upset as DH had her passport so in her mind we would have actually been stuck

My emotions are really high and I need some outside advice please

HI folks

newbie here

is there too much black in this dress for an all day wedding
shoes would be wedged heels black and silver

thanks very much
www.johnlewis.com/gina-bacconi-emilyn-floral-maxi-dress-black-blue/p114124523?size=16

Is this too much to wear to the office? I wore it with a belt so wondering if I was over dressed?

Is it a good law, fining parents for school absence? What are the good outcome measures, good citizens, with better mental health, peaceful country, reduced crime rates, homicide rates? Has it worked in your country?

Or is it a ridiculous law? Most parents, dream of and love to, have children who enjoy, thrive and excel in school. Parents may have other misdemeanours, but why turn school attendance into the battle ground, the yard stick to measure and punish? Perhaps consider is punishment the right way to go about this, what about the help for every child, and every parent who struggles?

I'm not talking about going on holiday during term time.

DH and I are looking for a relaxing, warm holiday but we can’t go until the end of November, and only for a week

Travel agent has suggested Egypt but I’m a bit worried about going out of the hotel as a woman, and also the chance of getting an upset stomach as several friends have suffered from.

Does anyone have any recommendations?

We work for a school trust. The CEO is on her holidays, a very luxury sailing trip in some beautiful places, good for her, but for some reason she's sending regular photos to our work WhatsApp group, the one that's generally only used to wish people Happy Birthday, warn about traffic issues on the route in or say welcome/goodbye when people come and go.

No one else has shared holiday pics all summer. The first message said somehting like for those who can't wait until we get back...

Is is me or is this very odd and quite tone deaf?

Good relationship on the whole however DH does have a large ego that comes with him training pretty excessively in my opinion and often complimented on his physique

No kids together however he has a DD of 14 and my DS is 21.

I am 41 and he is 52 and looks his age face wise I would say but body much younger.

A girl in a coffee shop today walked past our table as I was paying and his eyes followed her all the way out of the door - he turned to watch her leave as he didn’t realise I could see him from where I was

She was wearing a very tight short black dress so I can see how you would look initially however the following her with his eyes grossed me out especially as she was about 20.

I’ve never seen him do this so obviously and we’ve been together 8 years.

I took my two daughters, aged two and four, swimming at Nuffield Health. My four-year-old was wearing swimming bottoms but no top.
A staff member told me she needed to wear something “more appropriate” — apparently a bikini top or one-piece. I asked why, as a four-year-old boy would presumably be allowed to swim topless.
I said I felt this was sexualising a pre-pubescent child. The staff member replied, “I’m a mother. I’m not sexualising children.”
When I asked about the actual policy, she could only say that children had to wear “appropriate clothing”. I’m planning to contact Nuffield for clarification, but I’m interested in other parents’ views.
AIBU to question this? Would you expect a four-year-old girl to have to cover her chest?
I used AI to help make this post more readable.

In reference to The Most Beautiful Man thread,

Just for balance, I thought we ought to show the women as well...

Gong Li
Zhang Ziyi
Louise Brooks
Cyd Charisse

I need to stop spending a fortune in pret or m&s during office days and be more organised with my lunches.
I have a long-ish commute (London), 1 hr and 15 mins or so, door to door. Office has a fridge but I am considering getting myself an insulated lunch bag to keep food fresh longer. I have seen some very lovely ones and wanted to treat myself to one but is it worth it? Curious to know how people use these. I don’t want to hold it with my hand as I commute with a backpack for practicality and comfort and want my hands free. They seem a bit too bulky to put in my backpack though once I also have the laptop, work stuff and change of shoes etc.
How does everyone do this? 😅