Suddenly needed to use the toilet (ibs) in M&S, a lady walked in and kept saying. "Oh god it stinks in here!" Over and over again to everyone in the queue.
aibu or is that a bit mean!? It's a toilet after all. I ended up having to stay in the cubicle for ages because then i was too embarrassed to walk out after she'd been telling everyone over and over again that it stinks.
i did flush multiple times to try and avoid too much smell but I'm not sure what else I could have done.

Previous thread: https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/telly_addicts/5571945-celebrity-traitors-s2?page=1

This is a tv pace thread so make sure you’re up to date with the live broadcast and yes, previous series (regular and celeb) will be discussed!

Please no spoilers if you read them online!

The story so far (as of end of episode 1)

Traitors
Maya Jama
Richard E Grant

Faithful
Bella Ramsey
James Blunt
Jerry Hall
Joanne McNally
Joe Lycett
Julie Hesmondhalgh
King Kenny
Leigh-Anne Pinnock
Michael Sheen
Miranda Hart
Myha’la
Professor Hannah Fry
Rob Beckett
Romesh Ranganathan
Ross Kemp
Sebastian Croft
Sharon Rooney

Potential Recruit/Murder
Amol Rajan
James Acaster

I’ve got this spot roof of mouth that won’t go densit wasn’t worried what is it

Is this positive or an evap? Potentially 7dpo

First world problem but this is driving me bonkers!

I do not like to share food; I know it’s odd, but I cannot stand people taking food from my plate or being asked for a share. It has to be on my terms if I offer (which I 9/10 do) or if I’m done, I’ll offer the rest.

It’s not about having to eat it all or not wanting to share, it’s just something I do not like to do. I will happily share a meal if it’s pre planned and expected, but my portion is my portion until I’m done.

Every time we are out for food or shopping, without fail, DH will deny he wants something and then later take some of mine. It makes me so inexplicably angry!

In the past few days alone:

We stopped for a coffee at a shop with the DC. The DC wanted cookies for after their lunch. I asked DH if he wanted one, he said no. I asked if he was sure as I also was getting one and he said he was sure he didn’t want one.

When DH had finished lunch he said “how many cookies did you buy?”. I said 4 ; one each for me and the DC as he didn’t want one. He replied with “oh ok, let me know if you don’t want some of yours”.

Aka, I’ll have a bit of yours. I ended up giving him some of mine.

Me: “DH do you want some crisps to go with your sandwich?”
Him: “No”.
Me: “ Are you sure?”
Him: “Yes I’m sure “

We sit down and he says “oh I’ll have a few of your crisps to go in my sandwich”.

Same with drinks. Do you want a drink? No. Then will either ask if theres any drinks “spare” or just take a “sip” of mine!

Now this is a regular occurrence and it’s starting to really annoy me as I always feel guilty or that I’m being odd and end up giving him some. I don’t mind when I’m done, but not before that.

Today when I had a small bar of chocolate and he asked for a piece, I said no and I told him why. He had not wanted chocolate when we were in the shop otherwise he should have got his own.

I stuck to my guns and I ate the chocolate. He thinks I’m mean.

It’s not about money as these sort of spends come out of our household pot. He just doesn’t want it until he does.

AIBU to refuse to share until he gets the message?

A chat thread for those who don't like this Labour government. 💙

The problem with socialism is that you eventually run out of other people's money.

Previous thread
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/5575770-labour-isnt-working-thread-40?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=share

What do you use to empty your washing machine filter? My machine is on the blink and I've painstakingly emptied the drum of water and then the drain hose thing. But the filter is so low down, I can't think of what I could put underneath it to catch the water. It needs to be very shallow, fairly rigid so it can be picked up when full, and wide enough to catch a decent amount. I thought I was being clever when I thought of cutting down an old takeaway box, but the plastic split down to the bottom when I tried, making it useless. I wish designers would factor this in.

As the title says, I hope I am not alone in living in dread of Christmas. This rising sense of panic starts about now and ends when I load them all on the train back to London on the 27th.
I have adult children, all in their 40s. They are well off (more than I could have ever dreamed of) and have very busy jobs.
Because the DH and I are retired, it's " Oh, good news. We are coming to you this Christmas".
Now, while most parents would be overjoyed, I struggle...the reason: VEGANS.

Not just your easygoing (is there such a thing) vegan, but no onions. Garlic, chives, nightshades (whatever the hell that is), no alcohol (including in the pudding), no nuts, no flour, no dairy.
I know you will think... well, make them bring their own food, but two travel by train from London and so can't really drag everything with them.
Last Christmas I really tried; I cooked beforehand, got the local bakery to make special mince pies, the local vegan cafe did some great salads and soup.

My son sniffed at the food and said, "I can smell garlic." - I felt my heart sink as I scraped £80 worth of salads into the bin.

I realise, as friends and my DH have said, ask them what they want to eat, buy it and tell them to cook it. But it's more than that - my husband is an absolute darling of a man and loves cooking and a traditional Christmas, but he is older now and a bit precious around his kitchen. So now the kitchen will be reduced to my daughter-in-law (who I love more than my next 3 minutes of oxygen) peeling endless potatoes and getting underfoot.

My biggest problem is that I am trying so hard to make Christmas joyous, and this requires me to keep the peace all the time. My daughter-in-law is incredibly brilliant but autistic, so she has no filter and just argues with everything she does not agree with. We do not share the same political ideas but hell's teeth she will not shut up. So certain subjects such as politics, religion, food and certain jokes are off the table. My son is incredibly docile and lets her have her way. Last year my DH said that he has never felt so insulted in his own home in his life....with the picking at the food and my son spending most of the lunchtime meal on the phone to his father back home.

Thank goodness my daughter, also a vegan but much easier to please, is coming - she helps me drink a lot more than I should, so things go a bit easier. My son-in-law is a carnivore like us and super easy to please.

I know what I have to do but I'm really on here to say.....anyone feel the same or am I making a massive pain in the arse for myself.

I’ve name changed as I’m guessing this won’t have happened to too many other people this week.

We have been away on holiday and my mum asked if she could stay at our house for a few days when we were away. We live in the countryside and my mum lives in a city so she enjoys being here for a change of pace. I asked what she planned to do and she said not much, just relax, read, go on walks and just have time to herself. I said she was welcome to stay, made up a spare room for her, made her some meals for the freezer and got other food in for her.

We have got back earlier today and our house is not how my mum would normally leave it, just little things like cushions on the sofas were left untidy, the bin and dishwasher were not emptied. We don’t mind, it’s little things, but my husband said that it’s not like my mum and asked if I thought she was ok. I sent my mum a text to say we were home but I didn’t hear back which is unlike her.

We have cameras that record outside and in the hallway so I checked them to see when she left thinking maybe she had stayed longer and was still travelling home. The cameras showed my mum arriving with my step sister, her partner and 1 other person who we don’t know. I can see them all coming and going over 5 days. My mum leaves about 3 hours before the rest of them on the last day they’re here.

I do not get on with my step sister and haven’t spoken to her for years after a big fall out. My mum knows she will never be welcome in our home. I feel so angry and betrayed that my mum has lied to me and let them use our home.

Since checking the cameras, I’ve had a good look in each room. They’ve obviously used other rooms to sleep in and some of our toiletries have been used. I presume they’ve all had a good look around.

My mum still hasn’t answered my text, I’ve also called her and she isn’t answering. We are really angry that my mum has let other people stay here when we only agreed she could. Obviously I will speak to mum but how would you feel and react to this? My husband says we will need to change the locks and we’ll never trust them again, which at the moment I agree with. It’s my mum and I’m trying to think of good reasons she would have allowed this and think it’s okay but she knows I hate my SS so there really isn’t any good reason.

I’m 34 and I just found out i’m pregnant with my fifth i don’t know how far along because my periods have been all over the place since my youngest was born.

I have 4 dc already:

DS1 (7y 3m) pregnancy was fairly straightforward but had to have an emergency c section at 39+2 due to his heart rate being concerning . He has a dyspraxia diagnosis and been referred for an ASD assessment and adhd and dysgraphia has also been mentioned by school but generally at school hes doing okay he’s very strong with maths and reading and is in year 2, his teacher is pleased with him etc he is just struggling socially at times

DS2 (4y 11m)was born at 35+6 a VBAC and he was in hospital for 12 days for various things but mainly feeding difficulties and difficulties maintaining his temperature etc. Hes extremely delayed, didn’t sit until 14 months and didn’t walk until 3y 8m, he has a walking frame (and a wheelchair for longer distances) and has just started reception and is struggling with tiredness. Hes still in nappies and he has global development delay, hypotonia and significant speech delay. Possible ASD and childhood apraxia of speech although no formal diagnosis. He only speaks with one word and it is hard to understand for people who don’t know him but he is in mainstream school

DS3 (2y 8m) was born at 37+1 via a planned c section, he was also delayed like DS2, not sitting until 14 months and not walking until 23m, he’s still unsteady and falls frequently, his speech is also delayed and changes day to day like he’ll say mum one day then not for a few days but he usually communicates by taking us to what he wants, pointing and has a few signs and uses word like sounds. Hes diagnosed with global development delay, gross motor delay and a significant expressive language delay and suspected ASD and concerns about visual processing difficulties and he has feeding/oral sensory difficulties around textures

DS4 (6months) was born at 36+4 via emergency c section for reduced movement and he was in hospital for 9 days for feeding difficulties, low muscle tone and problems maintaining his temperature, he’s got generalised hypotonia, gross motor delay and feeding difficulties and recently had an MRI and he has delayed maturation of the white matter on his brain, it’s immature compared to where it should be at 6 months but other results were inconclusive and i’m honestly worried about what his future will look like and what this could mean. He’s not rolling or sitting and has poor head control and feeding difficulties, he takes ages to finish a bottle and sometimes the milk leaks out the corner of his mouth

They have mentioned genetic testing for the children due to their needs but I don’t know. I’m worried about what the results could reveal what if it’s something awful and I dont know what it would change except us knowing we passed something to them all / to the younger 3 especially an

Now the pregnancy and my head is spinning

Before anyone says anything we were using condoms because I cant take the pill or the coil as it messes with my hormones too much and MH, we had discussed a vasectomy but hadn’t got round to it

I don’t know what i want from this post. I had a miscarriage between DS3 + 4, DS3 was 11 months and it was a loss at 12 weeks but i had to have an erpc and it was really traumatic and the recovery also was as I still had to do a lot for DS2+3 and i really struggled

DH and I have been together 20yrs+ with DC. Joint finances. He has received an inheritance that he wants to use to take early retirement. I don’t want to retire yet so will continue to work through choice. I would rather save the money for kids uni fees / help with house deposit and he continues to work. He thinks I ABU. What do you think? There isn’t really enough to do both so no compromise that I can see. His argument is that we have (small) savings already for the kids.

Please help me! My son is getting married in 8 weeks and I haven’t a clue what to wear. So far I’ve ordered three dresses online (Coast, Lavish Alice and Florere) and have sent them all back. Earlier this week I had a personal stylist appointment at John Lewis, bought 3 items (Hobbs dress, Reiss dress and Phase Eight jumpsuit), but not sure any of them are right. Also ordered a jumpsuit from Me+Em, not yet received. I don’t know if that will be right either, I know it will need shortening about 6 inches!
I’m 5’3, 9st 6, have lost 7 stone over last 3 years. Blue eyes, brown hair/blond highlights. i think the colours that suit me best are greens/golds/sandy but not at all rigid except that pastel colours make me look washed out.
There’s a register office wedding service and then the bigger wedding ‘do’ 3 days later, so I need two outfits! Budget about £400ish for both. I just feel so much of what I’m seeing is so ‘bland’ and ordinary, I want to feel a bit more cool and funky but still smart of course.
Would really appreciate some help or suggestions of makers/brands I’m not aware of… thanks in advance.

still discussing the delightful escapades of our favourite twosome!

I know it’s controversial to talk about age on here but I’m mid 50s and sometimes find it hard to dress in a way that feels age appropriate - I don’t want to look like I’m trying to be young and trendy like my daughter but I’m not ready to start buying my clothes in the garden centre like my mum.

I find shoes quite tricky and the current thread about trainers proves I’m not the only one. I really value comfort but hell will freeze over before I buy a pair of Sketchers, to me that just signals you’ve given up on fashion completely. But I’ve seen a few pairs of Fitflops - in particular the Mary Janes and also some boots - which I think look nice and would tick both the stylish and comfortable boxes but I’m questioning myself a bit and they’re not cheap. Any thoughts?

What occasion would they be appropriate for ?

https://www.mytheresa.com/gb/en/women/magda-butrym-semi-sheer-capri-pants-beige-p01216873

I just want to scream about how frustrating it is when queries were asked and answered back in August on our sale and the buyer’s solicitor is only now saying he hasn’t got the answers. When we have given them. And we only know he doesn’t think he has them because we have been nagging every single day to find out what the delay is. Aaaaaarghhhhhh!!! Why does it need to be like this?!!

James Cleverly introduced some serious restrictions on immigration, which Labour have upheld. Mahmood is going to introduce further restrictions. This has had the effect of reducing immigration substantially and forecast immigration (yes, even taking account the new method of counting.)

Immigrants, especially new immigrants, are disproportionate contributors to the UK's tax take, because they tend to be high earners and have no recourse to public funds. The low earners (who have mainly been blocked) are the bedrock of social care. The decrease in immigration has been more that the Chancellor planned for, so that leaves a substantial tax gap - at least £4bn and possibly £6.5bn annually.

Note this is from the Times, not a bastion of leftist thought.

So the question is, what do we do about this? Are you willing to pay higher taxes to pay for the shortfall? Should we lift restrictions on immigration to keep taxes lower?

Rejoining the single market or at least the customs union might help, but the same people who oppose higher taxes also oppose immigration and a closer connection the the EU

"Falling migration numbers could cost the chancellor as much as £7bn in fiscal headroom as he writes his first budget, The Times has been told. Government insiders believe that John Healey, who already faced an uphill battle to balance the books next month, is likely to have an even bigger challenge after immigration significantly undershot projections from the Office for Budget Responsibility (OBR). The Institute for Fiscal Studies think tank estimated last month that the success of Shabana Mahmood’s reforms, which have seen net migration cut to the low hundreds of thousands, could cost Healey some £4bn. Labour sources familiar with the budget process, however, said that the figure was now closer to £6.5bn. The OBR’s migration forecasts have been consistently higher than real numbers in recent years. Treasury officials, who have long expected Mahmood’s reforms to cause a hit to headroom, described the number as “pure speculation” but did not deny that Healey would have to contend with a larger funding gap than expected because of falling migration"

"At the same time, the OBR also observed that a ‘low migration’ scenario would – even after taking account of reduced pressures on public spending – push up borrowing by about £14 billion per year in 2028-29, considerably more than the cost of a 2p cut in National Insurance contributions, and raise the debt to GDP ratio – the government’s key fiscal target – by about 2.5%, or about £75 billion"

"In the short term, the biggest impact will be on social care, already struggling with workforce pressures and years of underfunding. Over the last two years, only a very large influx of migrant workers – 70,000 new starters in the last year – has saved the sector from an even deeper crisis. If the fall in visas issued is sustained, and there is not a large infusion of taxpayer funds, prospects are bleak."

https://www.thetimes.com/uk/politics/article/falling-migration-john-healey-headroom-zsw9rdcnr

https://ukandeu.ac.uk/immigration-is-falling-but-the-economic-cost-may-be-high/

Simple question. If there is another referendum to re-join the EU, will you be voting to re-join?

This isn't to have a go at anyone who supported Brexit, or who supported Remain, it's just a quick straw poll. Thank you.

If anyone is wondering, (or cares!) I think I will vote to re-join. (I won't say at this point what I voted for last time...)

This eBay seller is having a laugh, surely?

I’m going to a wedding (in a couple of weeks) in Scotland and am still looking for a dress. It’s been a long time since I went to a wedding!

I have 2 dresses, photos attached, but also like this one:

Me&Em but not sure if it’s weddingy enough.

I’m 5’10, size 10/12. Thanks!

My colleagues have had stinking colds this week. I’ve been saying all week to stay away from me as I’m away this weekend but they’ve not listened and now I’m starting to get poorly.

Snuffly nose, sore throat, headache, I’m exhausted.

My issue is I’m meant to be going away tomorrow, I’m flying on a long weekend to Denmark.

AIBU to dose up and still go? There’s no way I would get a doctor to say I can’t travel, I feel crappy but can probably muster for the weekend.

This is intended as a friendly, kind, safe, warm and fuzzy place for people to share discounts, bargains and Christmas gift ideas both online and IRL. Please note the tone and intention of the thread and join with spirit as generous as DC helping themselves to the Christmas chocolate celebrations .

Here’s some useful information about how to save the thread or a specific post so you don’t need to have a message to check in for every thread so you have the thread saved:

To watch the thread - click on the little bell that has ‘watch’ under my first message. This adds the whole thread to your ‘watched threads’

You can also bookmark a specific post by clicking on the ‘bookmark’ under the specific post. This saves your exact place in a thread but doesn’t alert you to new replies.

If you have any referral links or codes, please share them on the referral thread https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/christmas/5577375-bargain-referrals-thread

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If there’s anything you think would be useful or good to include in this post then please do tag me and let me know here (or DM me).

My kids secondary school are pretty hot on attendance- lots of messaging around the importance of high attendance, lots of making the kids feel really like they should stay of they go to the first aid room feeling ill. Phone calls whenever a child is off sick.

So I am just really tired confused to learn from friends that the school does seem to always authorise 3 days off to attend a wedding in this country! 2 friends were successful for actual weddings (even though one was only a few hours away) and one person I know just made up a wedding (inc a little AI created invite!) and got the time authorised

I am not one to lie so won't be trying the same, but it does really rankle when there is so much messaging making people feel guilty about genuine illness

Can I have opinions on these trousers please 🙏. I’ve ordered them and they fit beautifully. Couldn’t be better. I’m just not 100% sure about them, probably because I rarely pay full price for anything.

Hi, I’m looking for some advice as to whether I’m being unreasonable…

I asked DD father to leave the home when she was 9 months old. He’d punched holes in the wall where she’s sleeping, spat at me, call me a c/s whilst I was holding and feeding her. Constant aggression in the household.

It’s now been a year since separated. I owned the house, sold and moved back to where I grew up and where my family are. The abuse has since worsened. He previously contributed £70 a week (he earns a good wage and I work full time) but hasn’t paid for 6 weeks, and continues to threaten to ‘punch my face in’ and ‘I’m coming for you’ when I don’t allow access to DD. There have been previous threats to kill, to ‘end me’ and wishing me a cruel death. When we had childcare arrangements, he didn’t turn up, cancelled at the last minute, and tried his hardest to make life as difficult as possible. I have now withdrawn access to DD.

AIBU to withdraw contact (he doesn’t have my address or DD nursery details) and how do I move forward?