My husband is getting more gorgeous with every year that passes. Hes really grown in to himself. Me, on the other hand am turning into my grandmother. I am a mum who works at home. Housewife we would have been called back in the day. Im in my mid 50's now and I need a glow up. I never wore make up and i think i need to start. but since many of my days are spent only in the house or caring for elderly mum i dont know when to put it on, Also whats a casual but polished style now adays with out looking like the local free P pastors wife?
i need serious help. Photo for ref. dont look quite my age yet but no idea how to dress or what to do with my face. can i have advice please Skincare regime is good and skin is clear. thanks peeps.

My friend is kindly hosting a night for me and two others, a girly catch up.

When suggested we agreed on getting a takeaway and consensus from earlier this week was to get an Indian, and we earmarked the specific takeaway we’d order from.

My friend hosting has messaged to say she has picked up a ‘deal‘ from the supermarket this afternoon so she has got some ready meal curries and sides and said we can sort the money out on the night.

First world problem I know, but a supermarket ready meal doesn’t really hit the spot compared to a proper Indian takeaway so I feel a bit annoyed! She didn’t check with us before.

Keep calm and carry on!

DH has just been told that he’ll need to work Christmas Day and the days leading up to it.

We have a 2 and 4 year old so I still want to make the day fun and special for them.

Does anyone have any suggestions for activities or a schedule that they think would work well.

I normally cook a Christmas dinner for 20ish people but obviously that’s out of the question this year (the kids can entertain themselves for about 20 minutes max 😂). DH will be home at about 5.30pm so I’d still like to do a roast, but it will just be the 4 of us.
If anyone has any suggestions of recipes that can be made in advance or prepared pretty quickly I’d really appreciate them (the ones I usually use are pretty labour intensive). We live abroad so no options for nice convenient options from M&S or Cook etc.

Also, if anyone has a fun ideas for a special breakfast/lunch for me and the kids then that would be lovely.

When would be the best time to do presents? I’m thinks stockings and main gift in the morning (plus maybe a box of stuff for Christmas activities from Santa, to keep the kids busy all day). DH leaves at about 7.15am, but I suspect the children will be up early. Then a few more gifts when DH gets home.

Because we live abroad there are no family visits this year, but we could potentially do something with friends.

I don’t quite know where this should go. But will try here. We were a bit blindsided when husband was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer a couple of months ago. We are both in our forties, have young children.

Life has become extremely difficult and I no longer feel able to cope at work. I don’t see how I can go back while this situation is ongoing. I am looking for advice really from anyone who has been through similar, has been signed off for a long period and then gone back, how easy is it? I did have twelve months off for maternity leave but that was very different for obvious reasons.

Hi everyone,

I am moving into a property which has, as I see it, very standard sized sash windows. Typically 150cm w with a 200cm drop.
My issue is that I cannot find curtains or blinds that are long enough anywhere and I have spent weeks walking around IKEA, Dunelm, looking at Debenhams, B&Q, traipsing around John Lewis and I’m at my wits end

I also want thermal curtains to keep the heat in, but not blackout blinds in every room! I had really hoped to move in in the next couple of days so that my son can get used to his new house before he goes back to Nursery but I simply cannot find any curtains or blinds. The made to measure prices per blind/curtain start at £200 per item and it’s just not in my budget . I actually think I’m about to cry over curtains!

anyone able to suggest a retailer I might have missed? Given how many people on this planet have blinds and curtains I surely can’t be the only one with this issue!

Homage to Kylie in the thread title

Pedant proof time

KEEP DANCING! 💃💃

It’s my birthday soon and I chose a vegan restaurant to eat at. It was only for me, my husband and children and they were all happy with the restaurant. It was booked weeks ago for 4.

Last weekend some of our family asked if they can join us for the meal so I asked for who wanted to come and increased the number of people on the booking. They knew it was a vegan restaurant.

Today I got a message from one of them to say that now there are more people and some don’t want to eat at a vegan restaurant, they think we should eat at another restaurant which serves non vegan food as well. I messaged back to say no and that I chose it because I like it and if anyone doesn’t want to come then to let me know so I can amend the booking again.

This person has obviously told the others and I’ve been invited into a WhatsApp group chat to discuss what we should do. 🤨 I’ve ignored joining their group chat and just sent another message saying it’s for my birthday and I picked the restaurant that suited the ones going originally, I won’t be changing the restaurant and if they want to go somewhere else they can. I’ve said I’m happy to go to another restaurant with them another time.

I’ve been told I’m inflexible and only thinking of my own needs. Is it really inflexible to want to go to a restaurant I choose on my birthday that was originally chosen and booked weeks ago for just the 4 of us? I don’t mind them coming, but I feel that they’ve tagged along and now want to change it to suit them.

It's happened and I am in my elasticated trouser era. Loads of sweatpants available but am I too old?

I looked at John Lewis (of course I did) and they have lots of Superdry ones which look comfortable but would I be a laughing stock (late 50s)? It all looks very 90s Britney and early Jack Wills to me which was my university era. Luckily I don't care but I do need to understand the exact coding so I can style out my mutton mistakes if I make them.

I would ask my children but I was partying so hard in the 90s that I forgot to have them.

This would be for wearing at home mostly but I do venture out in daylight hours occasionally.

Hello all, really need some advice. My birthday is on Christmas Day so since I was born I have felt obliged even as an adult to spend it with my family. Background, my Dad died when I was 18, my brother died in 2023 so family is now my Mum aged 77 my sister 55, her husband amd their children 21 and 17. I married my husband in January 2023 and will turn 44 this Christmas Day. Over the years of my adulthood Christmas Day has been awful, arguments, sulking neice and nephew, Mum moaning about having to cook. Last year was especially awful with more arguing than ever, food cold, when I attempted to read a book after lunch being told to put it down as the 'kids' want to play a game. (They didn't and disappeared back to their house which is next door but one to my mums). They spent most of the day at their home. If I mentioned it was my birthday scathing comments from Mum and Sister saying Oh is it your birthday we didn't notice. Usual practice has been lunch at 1pm and then at 5pm recognition of my birthday when I am allowed to open my birthday presents. My husband hates going and doesn't want to go and to be honest neither do I. I've only not been twice before, once in 2013 when my Mum said some awful things to me and I went to Cumbria to stay with then partners family and then in 2020 when the covid rules were in force and went to different partners mums house. Both were so much more relaxed and enjoyable. This year one of my closest friends has moved 40 minutes away and bought a house. Initially she was with a partner but they have split up and she is very down and I have been supporting her. She has no family. She has invited me and my husband for Christmas/my birthday. I really want to go but am scared to tell my mother as she is easily upset and bears a grudge. I was thinking could compromise by going for an hour say 11am to 12pm and then leaving and going to my friends but don't know how she will react. Am thinking of speaking to my older sister first. Any opinions and advice appreciated.

Now you have had it for a good while. What do you think? Would you recommend? I am specifically contemplating a shark cryoglow.

I used to have a wonderful collection of wonderfully high upto the boob cotton knickers with plenty of stretch came in a pack of 5(6?) and cost less than a tenner.

I have ordered what I thought to be the same product from marks and sparks and there is no stretch hardly cover the mum tum and just aren't as comfortable and are pretty much see through in the light.

Any recommendations for equivalent of my old faithfuls please?

Previous threads
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5576816-aibu-to-think-my-friend-is-overdoing-emergency-stockpiling?page=1
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/5585259-crisis-what-crisis-is-my-friend-over-doing-the-stockpiling-and-am-i-too-continuation-thread-2?page=1

Continuation of the AIBU to think my friend is overdoing emergency stockpiling thread for discussion about the government advice to stockpile for an imminent emergency and what the heck that emergency might actually be.

Spoiler: it's more of a perfect storm of lots of factors coming together to potentially form one great clusterfuck from economic woes, global energy shortages (mainly diesel), potential food shortages, war and madmen to crazy weather patterns rather than a clear identifiable singular thread.
This is a practical thread and a bit of a handhold thread to make sense of events and how they may affect you. This is not an end of the world thread.

Remember an emergency can range from a temporary unexpected event to a much longer crisis but the underlying principles generally stay the same.

This is the official government information and advice, if you want further details on what the actual recommendations are:
https://prepare.campaign.gov.uk/get-prepared-for-emergencies/

ROUGH STATUS REPORT (as of 9am 22nd Oct - please note this isn't fully comprehensive, and is moving FAST)
Civil Unrest reported in:
France, Italy, Greece, Belgium, Albania, Indonesia - multi reasons, but largely due to economic pressures and the cost of living
Spain has had problems but these have temporarily stopped, probably due to significant weather related issues due to the Dana effect
More protests planned for this coming weekend
High Alert in the Middle East:
Netanyahu now committed to regime change in Iran, as he believes they are developing a nuke.
The US has pulled all Embassy Staff from Saudi Arabia and is hoping no one notices that they've ordered personal and families across the Gulf home and then seem to have lied that they have.
The Emir of Qatar has stated at their equivalent of the annual King's Speech at the Opening of Parliament that war was coming and to prepare for the worst scenarios. US pulling planes out of Qatar.
The Egyptian PM has warned the country of severe crisis ahead - given the nature of the country this is related to their alliance with Saudi Arabia and their reliance on the Suez Canal which the Yemeni rebels now control access to and their exposure to famine
Iran is saying if there is another attack, the gloves are off and they'll try and wipe out the middle east oil industry as they go down, as well as hitting critical civilian infrastructure.
Much movement / noise is similar to run up to the first US attacks this year. Debate over whether the attack will come before the Israeli Election or the US Midterms - possibly within 72hours - latest mood music suggests potentially this weekend. Seems to be shifting to a when not if.
Israel election: 27th Oct
Prices and Shortages:
Diesel needs no real reminder - we need it for haulage, mass transportation and farming, we are screwed without it. Fuel Emergency declarations in West Virgina, Kentucky, Michigan, Maryland, Arizona, Nebraska and Texas - typically allowing limited dyed diesel use for ag or commercial vehicles. Illinois and Missouri have also allowed by not under emergency orders. Less reported is the fertiliser shortage and knock on effect, poor yields this year and the effect of El Nino on next years, sulphur export bans and the blockade on Ukrainian and Russian wheat exports which are particularly crucial in feeding North Africa and the Middle East. This is liable to have significant impact on the UK with 6% rises in food already expected next year (and there's every reason to believe this will be higher especially with civil unrest all over the place). Reports of aviation fuel running low in some parts of Europe with emergency supplies (which can't last forever) being used.
El Nino:
See above about farming and also think of disasters - like the ones Spain is facing with flooding. Storm Austin is incoming and there is a weather warning for the South of England with power outages and flooding possible today/tomorrow.
The Internet:
PHP is 70% of the internet. Its got compromised so it can pretty much all be hacked. This is VERY BAD (in capital letters). Many websites offline whilst this is sorted including multiple government ones around the world.
Just AI generally - everything from putting everyone out of work to just hacking and killing us all. No Biggie.
Trump and the Mid Terms:
Trump is firmly losing his marbles. He's defected to Russia, can't stop rambling about men's arses, is waving at non-existent people, his team are known to be considering ways to impose martial law, he's getting heckled at Trump rallies by his own supporters, 83% of all voters think the biggest problem in the US now isn't the cost of living crisis but government corruption. He's being called a traitor by some of his fellow Reds. Mid Terms look a disaster and Trump probably won't accept them. He's reversing bills that Congress passed weeks ago by executive order.
Mid-Terms: 3rd Nov
Ukraine and Russia:
Ukraine facing massive problems still cos Elon has got the ump. Starlink isn't working at face enough speeds. They've bombed a shedload of Data Centres in Russia. This has killed off the Russian Internet and many Trump/Musk supporters in the process (one way or another) which screws up Twitter (and its value) for them. Ukraine is getting blamed for diesel shortages cos they refuse to stop hitting Russian refineries even though it has no choice now its been cut off by the US. Zelenskyy now says Trump isn't an ally. Trump wants Zelensky gone and thinks Putin is being reasonable and Ukraine doesn't want peace. Germany states it would have activated Art5 if the confirmed Russian sabotage attack on Liepzig had been successful.
Russia is apparently planning to step up its sabotage campaign in Europe after having successfully sunk a few boats in EU waters (Romania / Bulgaria - these sinkings have been in both international waters off the coast AND within their official territorial waters).
Economy:
Lots of debt. Much concern over the implications of this particularly with regards to AI and state debt in the US, UK, France and Japan (but not restricted to). Much money put into gold by China. Background of this bad given the approach of potentially multiple crisis.
France Moody's credit review: Due tomorrow 23rd Oct - expected to be not good especially in the current political climate in France
UK Budget: 28th October

They are all interconnected and one or many could tip us into abject chaos. Or not. The risks here are sky high. Of what? Take your pick.

Dear god, this is a bad one 🤦🏻‍♂️ started 5 days ago with sore throat, didn't feel too bad apart from that. Has progressed from tickly cough to chesty cough with bad body aches and now runny nose. Mild fever

I feel so utterly awful. Lying in bed feeling too unwell to sleep, read or watch TV. Taking paracetamol/ ibuprofen and Benylin chesty cough syrup. Eating and drinking pretty normally

Chat GPT reckons it's viral bronchitis, could also be COVID I guess. Anyone else feeling similar, or been through similar recently?

Alas I do not have my dream Cotswold’s company larder *sigh but I do have a rather beautiful sideboard that I bought on FB marketplace a few weeks ago and I have decided I’m going to fill with some delicious jars, treats and ingredients for seasonal baking and the run up to Christmas.

So far I have a posh spiced porridge that came in an hamper last year and did not get used so I’m going to decant that into a kilner jar I have treated myself to some of Fortnums Christmas Gingerbread Curd with a voucher I had and this lovely looking cherry jam that I’m going to resist eating by spoon and use to make a Cherry and chocolate cake.

https://shop.nationaltrust.org.uk/national-trust-sour-cherry-curd.html

What’s on your festive eating, baking and making list?

I’ve booked a week all inclusive in Spain for next summer for me and my two (14 and 16) and now wondering if I’ve made a bit of a mistake.

I’ve always done self catering before, usually caravans or apartments, and tbh I’m sick of spending half my holiday in supermarkets and then cooking tea when I’m supposed to be having a break. I found a deal I could just about afford and thought it would be nice to not have to think about money every time they want a drink or something to eat. I’m paying for it myself and have been putting money away for ages so it’s not something I can just change on a whim.

Anyway showed them the hotel and neither of them seemed particularly bothered. The eldest said they’d rather go somewhere near an actual town where they can wander round shops and go out for food, and the younger one has now decided it’ll be boring sitting round a pool all week. They’re not refusing to go or being horrible about it, just very underwhelmed which has made me wonder if I’ve picked something they’ll hate.

I thought they’d like having a pool, snacks and food there whenever they wanted it, without me having to keep saying no because everything costs money. We’ve had holidays before where I’ve spent the whole time adding things up in my head and worrying about what we’ve got left for the rest of the week. I really wanted one where I could relax a bit as well.

I know they’re teenagers now and don’t want the same things they did when they were little. The older one especially wants a bit more freedom and I do understand that, but I also don’t want to spend a fortune on a holiday where we’re all off doing our own thing and barely see each other.

The booking isn’t refundable without losing money and I couldn’t afford to book something else on top. I’m now wondering if we’d have been better off with a cheap apartment somewhere with restaurants and shops nearby, although then I’m back to sorting meals and paying for everything separately.

For those who’ve been all inclusive with teenagers, did they enjoy it or did they get bored? Is it actually worth it when they’re older or would you go somewhere you can get out and about more? Feel like I’ve booked what I wanted rather than what they’d want but I honestly thought we’d all enjoy it.

If you’re the type of woman says “all I want for Christmas is a hug from my children and a single Ferrero Rocher” then that’s absolutely lovely but not what I’m asking. I need ideas for stuff for myself, lovely things I may not have come across, to put on my Christmas list!!

So far I have a voucher for a Margaret Dabbs medical pedicure
A new casserole dish, Le Creuset style
The secret of cooking by Bee Wilson
A little zip up thing to put in my handbag with my essentials

I’d love some really nice knitwear also.
What sort of lovely things are on your lists?

I was recently asked by a family member to provide a nice photo of last Christmas that she could use in a present she’s making for our family.

When I went to look at last year, I’m ashamed to say I couldn’t find a SINGLE photo that wasn’t of presents being ripped open, which made me realise how present/buying focused it has become for us. So! I would love to know any ideas or traditions you do on Christmas Day or Christmas Eve that are special to your family, as I’m determined to focus less on ‘stuff’ this year! Anything at all that you enjoy as a family and isn’t about stuff, would really appreciate it! :)

I consume constantly: books, podcasts, TV shows, crossword puzzles, articles, reels, social media posts. I go to art galleries and recitals and plays and gigs.

It has occurred to me that I don't create anything. I don't write or draw or paint or craft or make videos to post on social media. I don't decorate cakes, or pottery vases, or knit jumpers or act or play the harpsichord.

As a marvellously average person, I don't think the world especially needs me to create anything. Nobody is missing out!! But from the perspective of living a balanced life, do you think it's a good thing to create as well as consume?

Do you create or consume? Do you think we ought to do both?

What I'm really asking is, should I take up glass blowing?

My youngest son is 19, is ND. About 2 months ago he was sent a friend request on FB from a female who recognised him from college. He has been seeing her almost daily from when they first met up.

He has said he is head over heels in love and he is moving in with her. I know he’s 19 and many people leave home much sooner but he’s a very sweet and naive young man and I’m worried he will get hurt and it’s all so soon.

We have never met his gf (same age) as she is also ND and doesn’t ‘feel comfortable’ meeting new people. I am completely torn. I want him to be happy obviously but it’s so soon and we’ve never even met her.

His Dad is not happy at all about it and it’s causing friction in the home. I’m not sure if IABU to feel so uncomfortable and concerned about it all or simply accept that’s he’s an adult so he can therefore make his own choices.

Hi. I’ve just caused a massive row with DP and wondering if I’m unreasonable.

DP has DSD with us this weekend, as we do every weekend. I love DSD, and try and make her feel very welcome and loved when she is here. Of course she goes in phases of who she wants to spend time with and at the moment I am not her favourite, DP is. Which is normal and expected.

Today we went shopping and I spent a lot of time just walking around on my own as DP went to different shops with DSD. Last night they had a “sleepover” in the living room and I spent the evening in our bedroom. I feel this is fine, DSD and DPs relationship will never compare to ours.

After getting in, I was cleaning the bedrooms ans walked into DP cooking dinner for DSD. I asked what he was having and he said DSD and me are having carbonara. DP and me usually eat around 8/9 with a bottle of wine. Nothing was cooked for me (I don’t eat bacon or cheese) so I said, rather sarcastically, I’m fine thanks nothing for me.

DP got annoyed and said well I’ll cook you something. I was polite and said no thanks, it’s too early for me, I’ll eat later, I just didn’t know you were cooking that’s all.

we usually sit with DSD whilst she eats and talk to her but don’t usually eat with her.

DP called me a selfish c**t and said I was causing tension and that I was being a baby about a dinner. Was I?

Is it really for very localised things that mean you need to leave home quickly, but the rest of the area is fine?

Because I'm struggling to think where we'd go or how we'd get there, if everyone was in the same boat.

He was never my type! Not that he was an option 😂 but I thought he looked very hot and came across as a lovely person!

Previous thread: https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/telly_addicts/5589402-welcome-to-the-castle-it-gets-worse-here-every-day-2026-celebrity-traitors-thread-4-tv-pace?reply=155362157

This is a TV pace thread so make sure you’re up to date with the live broadcast and yes, previous series (regular and celeb) will be discussed!

Please no spoilers if you read them online!

The story so far (as at end of episode 6)

Traitors (still active)
Maya Jama
James Acaster (recruited)
King Kenny (recruited)

Faithful

James Blunt
Jerry Hall
Joanne McNally
Leigh-Anne Pinnock
Michael Sheen
Miranda Hart
Romesh Ranganathan
RossKemp (full name)
Sebastian Croft
Sharon Rooney

Murdered
Amol Rajan
Bella Ramsey
Rob Beckett

Banished
Richard E Grant (Traitor)
Myha’la
Julie Hesmondhalgh
Professor Hannah Fry (recruited Traitor)
Joe Lycett

For these that want to keep up with Claudia’s outfits: https://www.goodhousekeeping.com/uk/lifestyle/a73628412/celebrity-traitors-claudia-winkleman-outfits/

NC’d bc previous threads would make this outing.

As it’s approaching the festive season I’d like to ask for advice please. I’ve been with DP well over a decade. Every year his sister gives me some vaguely weird or semi-unsuitable type of present. It’s not that they’re horrible, just a strange choice I guess.

Apart from a few instances they have generally been toiletry based. One year she gave me a massive gift box of body shop stuff all in one scent. It wasn’t awful, but as I said to my partner - what if I hadn’t liked it? I’d never mentioned liking it to her and she’d never asked. Surely you’d put the feelers out before choosing a specific thing like that?

There’s been other similar stuff, usually from somewhere ok, like joules or next, but to me, toiletries is a risky, cop out gift generally unless you know exactly what the recipient likes, as it’s subjective while also requiring very little thought usually.

For years I’ve asked for vouchers which have been agreed on, then she’ll get me something completely left field - like recently, tickets to a family theatre trip in 6 months time - it actually clashed with my nephew’s bday but she hadn’t even bothered to check to see whether we could do the date. Needless to say we’ve always bought her and her partner exactly what they’ve asked for. I’ve said we should but partner doesn’t want to rock the boat.

We have a set budget which encompasses bdays as well as xmas. I struggle to find a specific thing I like for this amount but last year I found 2 items from a shop I like which were low in stock. I’ve asked for things in the past for our children’s presents which haven’t been bought in time so I decided to buy them myself before they were sold out. I messaged to say I’d done this and did she want to give them to me as a present? (she’d asked what I wanted). I even offered to send them with her parents for her to wrap and send back with them if she wanted to do that (I know this sounds weird but I guess it’s the same as sending them to her address after ordering them) - I stressed that obv this wasn’t necessary, i could wrap them myself and put with the other family presents (she can be funny about the whole process of gifting and I don’t want to offend). I pointed out it was one less thing for her to worry about as she’s usually very busy.

At first she was fine with this. Then a few days later she text to say that actually she wasn’t, that part of the enjoyment for her especially at xmas was thinking about family and what they’d want and getting this etc and that it was nice to be surprised…. This after years of telling us exactly what she, partner and kids wanted and us complying. Confusing but hey ho. What was also weird was that I always put a lot of thought into gifts for everyone. If she gave me a generic item I’d try and get an interesting version of it, which she’d loved (genuinely). And when this happened, some years she’s got me a token bday present - which is weird bc these xmas gifts are meant to include them (my bday is a couple of weeks after xmas).

Anyway, I had a somewhat disconcerting epiphany last year which upset me at the thought of ‘wow this is such CF’ery I can’t believe it’s true’, while at the same time, ‘of course it’s true - how could I possibly have not seen it before?!!!’

We receive our presents AFTER xmas, when the in-laws retune from their visit to her.

When I say…… she’s a teacher……..

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

To state the bleeding obvious - am I the only one thinking she’s been re-gifting me presents her students have been giving her for the last 15 years??????!

How would you feel if this was you and what would you do for this xmas? It may not be true, but it is isn’t it.