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He said... "It's the 25th today - half way to Christmas".

AAARRGGHHHHH😂

97

Londoner, stupidly bought a new-ish build flat that is like a greenhouse (I viewed it in winter). My flat can reach up to 39°c inside and I despise this flat regret buying but can’t go back and it’s not a suitable time for me to sell. During summer I try to avoid staying at home for too long. I’m disabled live alone, regularly feel unwell, have previously fainted, got dizzy spells, and barely sleep but my housing Clarion couldn’t care less

I keep all windows shut during the day but open them at night (single aspect windows so not much breeze). Sometimes I’ll also put fan with ice facing out the open window at night too but barely does much.

I purchased portable AC but it’s inefficient, it doesn’t cool the overall room well enough and you only feel cool if you stand right in front of it. Also I can’t keep windows open all day for safety reasons. Americans claim single hose portable acs which are commonplace in UK are inefficient compared to dual hose (can’t find dual in Uk), there’s some science behind it. Makes sense as my portable ac is no where near as good as split ac or even my friends flat (no ac) who has cross ventilation

Desperately want split ac and/or external shutters but as a leaseholder it won’t be allowed. Why is it not considered as a health safety risk to have to live in these temps as a disabled adult

I’m sure many will comment to tell me I’m being ridiculous and lacking resilience but I have relatives who live in Arizona who wouldn’t sleep in temps above 23°c… why do we have to suffer like this in a first world country

178

My 23 year old daughter has just announced that she is getting married next year.

I am completely shocked.

Surely it’s not normal anymore to marry that early.

I tried to be joyous and congratulate her but would you be happy?

I want to know why she wants to marry this young.

I know she is an adult and what she does is nothing to do with me but I am really shocked.

570

I work in a big office in central London. Everyone lives in lots of different places obviously, but almost everyone is a significant train/ tube ride away.

Due to the heatwave our work told us to WFH where possible. But my most senior manager loves a bit of presenteeism. Hence a number of people (ie all the suck arses) came in. And, then proceeded to post/ message incessantly on internal comms demonstrating that they were in the office. Highly tiresome presenteeism considering ALL our calls were moved to Teams on our clients’ insistence.

Fast forward a few hours and ALL the tubes are fucked. As are almost all the trains. No-one can get home and they’re panicking at facing down 2-3hr bus journeys in 39 degree heat.

Serves them right for travelling against the advice of the health agency, government, TFL and the company. There was a do not travel unless essential instruction.

Of course, senior boss is alright. He got a company cab home…

341

AIBU to think that the school doesn’t take much account of parents’ need to work? Primary school have just announced they won’t be opening for the rest of the week, but it’s OK because they’ll be sending us online work for us to do with the children, and whilst they are sorry they have had to cancel sports day we shouldn’t be too upset because they’ve have rescheduled it for a couple of weeks time. Like, I totally get they have to put the safety of the children first and if it’s too hot it’s too hot, but what do they think I’m
doing when the kids are at school, preparing beautiful dinners, ensuring the craft box is topped up, pining wistfully for the moment they come home? FFS, my job obviously comes second to my children and of course I’ll cancel planned surgeries and clinics where I need to. It’s not the emergency that bothers me, it’s the blasé way in which it’s communicated as though it’s a
minor inconvenience, not a major major f’ing headache with serious second and third order effects.

phew, that’s better. Now to go and get the little darlings…

382

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DH trusted his brother with his Clubcard employee card. He gave it to his partner to use as she was doing the food shops. She’s been caught twice stealing with a trolley full and hubby is now being investigated at work. Apparently BIL knew she had a habit with stealing as he already pre warned her not to use the card if she is going to be stealing. I should add that they are very comfortable and don’t need to be stealing. She is the other woman and I have never been able to gel with her. Now i can’t bare the thought of being around her even more. DH is in a management role so i can imagine they are going to take this very seriously.

I feel like DH is downplaying it all because he doesn’t want to rock the boat but I am fuming!!!

Am I over reacting? Hubby says he didn’t want to tell me because he knew I’d over react. She’s potentially put my husband at risk of losing his job.

376

If you’re currently under the red or amber warning for extreme heat, what are you wearing?

I have just got in from work, had a cool shower and just put on a pair PJ shorts and top.
So stylish right? 😂

97
MotherOfSoManyCats
AIBU?

My 25 yr old non-binary child (who lives at home) has just had their Pride bunting delivered for Pride Month. We currently have England bunting up in the window for the football.

While happily talking about their new flags and putting them in the window with said England flags, my DH has commented that they will need to be taken down every night because "you know what the stupid wankers around here are like" - thinking that we will get our home vandalised!!

We live in a normal town in the SE and, although not as colourful as somewhere such as Brighton, I've not heard of any homophobic violence.

Is HE BU to think this should happen? I personally think a few colourful flags will be fine, plus it'll be dark! For context, our front window is very close to the path but not on a main road.

398

My husband has just called, having been to the dentist, and he needs a back tooth to either be worked on and crowned or removed. The cost of the work is going to be over £1k. I don't know about the cost of the removal but, if he had it taken out, it would mean he'd be without two consecutive teeth on one side. I've just had a look at implants and they are so expensive.

I have a feeling this won't be the last of his issues, either. His teeth are terrible.

How do ordinary working people, who don't get any assistance, afford dental care?!

126

It’s Prime Day (again!) and, while I love a good deal as much as anyone else, I’m all about finding bargains on things that are genuinely useful and built to last.

Have you spotted anything worth sharing in this year’s Prime Day sale? Add your finds to the thread below.

Here are a few deals I’m eyeing up:

28% off Duux Whisper Flex 2 Smart Fan - was £180, now £130 (lowest price ever according to CamelCamelCamel). Mumsnet's Home Editor, Poppy tested this fan last summer and was really impressed by how quiet it was.

24% off JISULIFE Portable Neck Fan - was £34, now £26. I’m thinking this might be the answer to commuting in the heatwave? Read the review.

49% off Elizabeth Arden Eight Hour Cream was £28 now £14. There have been threads about this cult classic on Mumsnet for years, and at almost 50% off I’m tempted to give it a try.

Take a look at our round-up of top finds in the Prime day sale for more deals from MNHQ.

Have you spotted anything worth adding to your basket? Share it with your fellow MNners below.

Beauty deals:
COLOR WOW Dream Coat Supernatural Spray 36% off plus lots of other products in the range also discounted
58% off LAURA GELLER NEW YORK Award-Winning Baked Balance-n-Brighten Colour Correcting Powder Foundation
39% off Clinique Almost lipstick plus more deals on other Clinique faves

Ways to survive the heatwave:
20% off Levoit 20dB Quiet Smart Pedestal Fans
15% off COSRX Ultra-Light Invisible Sunscreen
23% off Jisulife Table Fan Pro3

More deals we’ve spotted:
29% Kindle Paperwhite Raspberry
31% Ninja Foodi MAX Dual Zone Air Fryer, you can read our review here
48% off Echodot (Newest gen)

Prices are correct at the time of writing. This post contains affiliate links, which means Mumsnet earns a small commission if you buy something through them. See our terms of use for more info.

Duux Whisper Flex Smart review | Mumsnet
One of the quietest fans in the UK, here's our in-depth review of the Duux Whisper Flex Smart Fan.
https://www.mumsnet.com/reviews/duux-whisper-flex-smart-fan-review
69

https://nordace.com/en/product/siena-pro-tote-bag-plus/

I need a tote bag to travel with, that will fit under the seat on a plane, that I can zip closed so stuff doesn’t fall out.
Sometimes will be work trip, so needs to fit my laptop. Sometimes will be holiday carryon so all the usual holiday stuff.
I have a Nordace backpack which is great for work, so thought this might be good. But is it too functional, and in fact, hideous?

Any other suggestions for around £200? Please don’t suggest Longchamp. Have a teenage daughter.

80

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This kind of 'just get on with it' RE the heat is all over Facebook. People talking about the heat in 1976 and saying 'we just got on with it' or 'we muddled through' (as if people didn't die as a result of that heatwave)

My issue is - shouldn't we as a society be aiming higher than just getting on with things and muddling through? We should be campaigning for better infrastructure, better working practices.

I just think we have all this technology, we're supposed to be a rich country, let's fight to make things better rather than just managing. What happened to the spirit of the first union workers who demanded better conditions and rights? I want to see that spirit back.

367

We are going into Dd’s class this afternoon to take a cake for her birthday to share. For some reason I feel nervous, is this normal? I feel like most people wouldn’t bother about things like this and would just enjoy the moment.
I feel worried about not having enough of everything, cutting the cake properly…

Do teachers feel as nervous about parents coming into the classroom? And would you be nervous?

132

How often have you really shouted/lost your temper at your partner/spouse?

I’ve been with my DH for over 20 years. We generally have a calm relationship. Neither of us are perfect obviously but we generally divide stuff up fairly well. We’ve probably only had 2/3 serious blow-ups in that time.

They all stem from his shit memory.

Today I screamed at him like I’ve never before. He was in the wrong but people still shouldn’t be shouted at. I was so angry and still am. I’m not sure what’s next.

He’s wfh today. I was called to collect our youngest son from school. I told him and he acknowledged the message - he’s interviewing all day so had limited opportunities to communicate which I get.

I arrived back home to the chain on the door. For no fucking reason. I rang the door, messaged and called him. Nothing (and I can see he didn’t read the messages). I drove around for 30 ish mins with windows down because I couldn’t sit on the drive in the car with sick DS and my neighbour wasn’t home.

After half an hour my neighbour returned home and very kindly yanked up her fence so I could climb under and get in.

So we’re in and he came down after his meeting finished oblivious and I screamed at him that he was stupid and to go away.

He’s upstairs interviewing again. I’m calmer but still angry.

Points to note:

DS is autistic with high support needs - he’s 8 but intellectually more like a 2/3 year old. He’s non verbal and cannot communicate how he feels. I collected him because he’d been sick at school.

I have a mobility issue. Getting under the fence was a significant challenge.

There is zero reason for the chain to be on.

I had messaged him repeatedly and called him too. Even if he couldn’t answer I think that a phone repeatedly buzzing when you know your wife was collecting your sick child warrants at least a glance.

I don’t even know what my AIBU is. I’m angry with him and disappointed in myself for losing my rag.

300

I have a couple of Birkenstocks in different colors but wanted something a bit more structured that could look good both with jeans and work trousers or skirt.
I like chunky sandals but I am quite short and a size 12 so don’t want anything that makes me look too bulky.
I need them to be comfy - budget up to £120.
Brands I usually like are Sezane, Esska, Jonak etc.

74

Bit personal I know, but how do you deal with your bikini line?

I get terrible rash and spots if I shave. Can't afford and can't find a waxer I'm comfortable with.

Was thinking about Nair but worry about the chemicals and safety...

Please let me in on your methods!

Ps I know I don't have to, and enjoy the freedom of a full bush but my hair is dark and it goes quite a way over the thigh/inside hip crease and my little one wants to go swimming more so I need a solution!

99

So what do you wear to try and keep cool in this weather? On Tuesday we went out to an evening rugby game so I wore shorts, a vest and flip flops. Yesterday though I didn't go out i again wore shorts and a vest. Not leaving the house today, I couldn't face clothes so after my nice cool shower I just put on clean pyjamas. Worried about tomorrow as we are doing a 5 hour drive up to Scotland.

75

I’m really mad about a situation with my job, and I’m not sure if it’s justified or if I’m letting my current stressed state cloud my judgement.

I have recently had an auxiliary abscess drained under general anaesthetic. It’s not a pleasant experience; particularly not when you get an inexperienced student nurse packing your wound 😣 but that’s not really relevant! I could have been signed off work for two weeks, but I have a huge project on and I couldn’t bring myself to disappear for that long, so I actually only took three days off.

However, whilst I’m back at work, the dressing needs changing daily, by a nurse. In the usual circumstances I’d be off, so could go any time, but obviously I can’t do that when going into the office. My GP’s surgery has been very understanding and has sorted it so I can be seen either very early or as late as possible. Because they've been good enough to sort this, I also need to be flexible, so it’s meant arriving late at work some days and leaving early others.

I cleared this with my boss (although given I’m doing him a huge favour by even being at work at the moment, he didn’t have a lot of choice). He just said to let the team know what was going on so they’d know why if I wasn’t available. I emailed everyone and had assumed they’d all seen it, given nobody asked anything and that they knew I’d been in hospital.

However, I found out this morning that one of my colleagues, Susan, had commented when I wasn’t there “So is Chomp just setting her own hours now? You never know when she’ll arrive, she leaves early - when’s she actually supposed to be here?” I should add at this point that Susan is always a bit over-involved in what others are doing: comments if someone is late, wants to know where they were if a call came in and they weren’t at their desk etc.. She’s got it into her head that she’s some kind of office manager, and has affixed a kind of seniority to her position that doesn’t really exist.

The colleague who told me what she’d said put her straight about my medical appointments, but I still re-forwarded my original email to everyone saying “Just in case anyone missed it first time that means you, Susan, you bitch”. I laid it on a bit thick, thanking everyone for their support.

I’m just really annoyed and wondering if I should take it further. Even if Susan hadn’t seen the email, she knows I’ve been in hospital; it surely couldn’t be that difficult to put two and two together. I don’t really have to tell her or anyone about my medical circumstances, but was happy to avoid any confusion (or at least that was the plan). I wasn’t forced back to work, but it would have caused major problems if I had taken a fortnight off. Now I feel like instead of people being grateful, I feel like I’m being punished for taking a poxy hour or so a day to get medical treatment - by someone who doesn’t even have to authority to dictate my hours.

Do I say something, or is it just because I’m still feeling a bit crappy and fed up and I should let it pass?

37

Going to in-laws for three weeks abroad for a family celebration.

We paid the flights and staying with them is free. They wanted to go away within the country to the beach while we are there.

This is very expensive so I am very grateful they are paying. But I also feel weird that they are paying that I cant speak up about this issue.

However they haven't booked enough rooms. There are two villas, one with a sofa bed in the living room and one for two people. There are 3 couples going, BIL, SIL, MIL, FIL ,DP and I.

PIL are paying for everyone.

I am just not someone who could ever agree to sleep on a sofa bed wiht others in a separate room and not be really bothered by it. It's 7 days and I feel miserable.

I am also very quiet and the others are loud and grab the best rooms. PIL are paying so I guess they should get the best room? But then were fighting with BIL and SIL who may also want the other room.

Im not close enough with any of them to talk to them about it and DP is quiet and awkward. I will be jet lagged and none of them will thinking of us.

To start with I am a later sleeper- 8am/9am and they are all up before me and loud. PIL are up at 5am and BIL at 7am. And they will want to use the living room. They are not the most considerate bunch such as wont get out of the living room if I want to sleep. They wont have a problem with waking me up in the morning.

I already struggle to sleep and get very grumpy if it's interrupted. I just don't know how to bring this up without being really selfish.

I feel like I don't want to go anymore and feel rubbish about it. I also don't want to be ungrateful. DP thinks I should just suck it up because i'm not paying but this is also my annual leave. What are your thoughts?

DP family is from a different culture where they don't talk about feelings

40

I am early 50s. In this hot weather I am wearing loose, cool, floaty dresses that cover my shoulders and upper arms. Its great, love it.

When I pass younger women in tight little tops and shorts, I think, ' that looks hot.' But then I remember that is how I used to dress.

Its not embarrassment about my body. I am pleased with how my body is and would be happy to wear a tight strappy top aesthetically, I just don't want to.

Its made me think that my hormones were probably influencing my clothing choices as a young woman more than I realised - to attract men.

Now I'm menopausal, I don't have such a drive and I'm happy to cover to protect myself from the sun, and wear loose clothing to keep air circulation to keep me cooler.

Just a thought.

29

As i'm currently going through the most mind-blowing CF situation, and waiting for the courts to open a case against them, please can you point me in the direction to the best CF threads where they got their comeuppance. This will hopefully give me some reassurance that CFs don't always get away with it!

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