just that really! I would be buying online so nice to know about sizing quality styling etc. thank you ☺️

DS turned 10 yesterday and this morning before school he told me his birthday was rubbish. Apparently I should have got him one good present instead of a load of things he didnt actually want.

I spent about £110 altogether which is a lot for me. I got him a football, a football shirt, a lego set he’d mentioned wanting and a couple of smaller bits. Got his favourite cake as well and let him choose what we had for tea. Nothing amazing but I thought it was a decent birthday and he’d seemed happy enough opening everything yesterday.

The thing is he wants a Switch 2. Has been going on about it for months because one of his friends got one for his birthday a few months ago. He knew he wasnt getting one though because I’d already told him I couldnt afford it. He didnt even ask for one for his actual birthday this year, he’d asked for the other things I’d bought him, which is why I thought I’d done alright really.

This morning he was saying I should have just bought one decent thing rather than wasting money on stuff he didnt want. The lego was something he’d mentioned before and he played with it yesterday so I dont know if he genuinely didnt want any of it or if he’s just annoyed about the Switch.

I’m not expecting him to be over the moon with everything I buy him and I know he’s only 10, but I was quite hurt by it. I’d put money aside for weeks and tried to get him things he’d like. I cant just magic up the money for a Switch because someone at school has one.

His dad hasnt contributed to his presents this year either but thats a separate issue really and I wasnt expecting him to.

I dont want to make him feel bad for being disappointed but I also dont want him thinking birthdays are rubbish unless he gets something expensive. Am I expecting too much gratitude at 10? Would you have a word with him after school or just leave it?

Welcome to Thread 13 and happy unboxing to all who sail (sale??) in her as we swap tips, tricks, frustrations and joys of the BAC/FAC journey.

Not too long until Black Friday discounts so keep your fingers crossed and some room on your credit card

Key link for all the calendars via the very lovely MaryBD of the calendars https://beauty-detective.com/category/beauty-advent-calendars/

Though lots of ACs are out of stock already, so beware (and extra double beware of anything Selfridges Fragrance related!!)

Yay!
All losers welcome.

I've been with my boyfriend for 8 years. We don't live together, own our own houses and have two children each. I've been flitting between our houses all this time. He's immensely supportive, would do anything for me, etc but will not even entertain the idea of buying a place together with room for all our children, which is what I want. My children are at uni, his are at school/college. I feel like I'm an accessory in his life rather than part of it, he wants me near him but won't give me any commitment or security.
Should I move away for a fresh start near family which is what I intended to do after divorce before I met him? I'd miss him and his children a lot but I'm sure things would never change if I stayed.

DM and DSis are going away together at the start of November. DSis has 3 cats who were going to be cared for by a neighbour but the neighbour can no longer look after them.

DSis has asked other neighbours, friends and now me, as they’ve all said they can’t. I have also had to say I can’t due to other commitments which they’re aware of and with my sisters house being over half an hours drive from my house, I can’t fit it in with everything else. The cats would need 2 visits due to needing medication. I said she’d have to book them into a cattery but it turns out 1 cat isn’t up to date with vaccinations (can’t have them due to previous reaction) so the cattery won’t take them.

My DSis found out that my oldest DD is coming home from uni for that week as she has a reading week. DSis sent me a text saying ‘oh thank god, <insert my DD name> will be able to look after them, I was starting to think I’d have to cancel my holiday’. I felt annoyed at the presumption that my DD would do it but rather than say anything, I asked my DD if she’d want to do it. She was also annoyed at being taken for granted but has said she can’t do it anyway as she has reading and work to complete, has made other plans with friends for some of the time she’s here and has managed to get a few shifts at her old part time job. I said that’s all understandable so I have let DSis know that my DD can’t have the cats.

DSis and DM are annoyed and I’ve been told I’ve raised a selfish DD. I’ve said she’s not selfish, she’s busy and the cats aren’t her responsibility. They’re now asking if my other children can do it which they can’t due to being at school, college, working, not driving and one having an allergy to cats. DM has called me almost in tears that their holiday will have to be cancelled. I suggested a cat sitter and got grumpily asked whether I think they’re stupid and of course they’ve tried that but they can’t find one with availability. They genuinely seem to think we are being unreasonable by not helping. Are we?

DS left home four months ago. He left almost all of his belongings here - all his furniture (including his bed, sofa, two wardrobes, huge TV etc all of which he bought himself), his exercise equipment, sports gear, most of his clothes... All he took was a couple of cases/boxes as he moved into a furnished studio and didn't have room for anything else.

We live in a 2 bed house currently. DS's room is the larger bedroom with a little annexe bit he used as his mini gym. He has a LOT of stuff in there.

DH and I have been offered the opportunity to downsize to a lovely 1 bed flat which would reduce our rent by almost £200pm. However DS has asked us not to move as he would have nowhere to keep his things and it would be 'weird' not being able to come home to his childhood home. He says he has no room for all his belongings so would have to store them which would cost him at least £150pm. Also he stays here roughly once a week after a night out - he moved semi-rurally to be near his work and we are in the centre of town, so it's handy for him after nights out when he can't get back to his. He says that he would have to pay for hotels if we moved (the place we are looking at is a good way out of town). He currently has no plans to move to a bigger place so keeping his stuff here, and him staying over, is an indefinite arrangement. He has a key and comes and goes as he pleases.

WIBU to ask him for something towards storing his stuff to offset the cost of the extra rent we currently pay? To be absolutely clear, the new flat we are looking at is absolutely beautiful and is specifically for over 55s, DH and I are both in our 60s and I am disabled so it would be a real help, not least because of the lack of stairs which I find more difficult as time goes on. It's not that we don't want to move and we're using DS as a means to pay towards our rent, we really do want to go. We also have friends close by the new place and it's closer to DH's work.

We wouldn't ask much - maybe £50 or £75 a month - just to offset what we pay a bit. Before DS left he was paying us about £200 a month towards food and his share of the bills, for reference. He is 36 and earns a decent enough wage so could afford it, and it would be less than he would have to spend on storage/hotels. We are actually a little bit better off each month since he left (he was a big eater and a fan of central heating!) so again to be clear we are not trying to make money from him by attempting to claw back some of his board money that we no longer have. I'd say we're about £50pm better off since he left.

I am torn because I feel bad asking him for money but we would love to move, and having him to all intents and purposes still living here part time - which we love, don't get me wrong, he is always very welcome - is stopping us doing that. And also costing us money which we don't have really, in the extra rent we're currently paying but could save if we moved.

YABU - I shouldn't ask my son for money for keeping his room as his own

YANBU - It's fair he should contribute as he sort-of still lives here, and if he wasn't we could downsize to somewhere more suitable and pay less ourselves

Fully expect that IABU because I feel as if I am but needs must!

This is intended as a friendly, kind, safe, warm and fuzzy place for people to share discounts, bargains and Christmas gift ideas both online and IRL. Please note the tone and intention of the thread and join with spirit as generous as DC helping themselves to the Christmas chocolate celebrations .

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<whispers> I'm starting to think about starting the wrapping soon :)

Hi everyone,
I need a sanity check on a situation from my local tonight, as DH and I are completely disagreeing on this.
We were out at the pub with a large group of 9 people. We were drinking in rounds. 7 people had bought a round, and it was down to either this one woman, let's call her Sarah, or one other person next.
Suddenly, Sarah announced she had to leave immediately because her babysitter had an issue and needed to go. She said a quick goodbye to everyone and dashed out. However, she didn’t mention the rounds at all, didn't offer to leave any cash, and didn't mention sending a bank transfer to cover her share. She had consumed several free drinks at this point.
After she left, the rest of the group talked about it and everyone agreed it was incredibly rude to "ghost" the round like that, especially when she’d benefited from 7 other people paying.
When DH and I got home, he said the group was being far too harsh on her because it was a childcare emergency and her mind was probably all over the place. I disagree, I think even in a rush, you could text the group chat from the taxi to offer to send money or even just acknowledge it in some way before you leave by saying you will sort it next time. Leaving the remaining people to cover the deficit feels out of order.
So, AIBU? Was she a CF, or should she get a free pass because of the babysitter emergency?

This will be my third year Christmas at this company and for the past two years, I have done secret Santa. I don’t want to do it this year, I find it pointless. It’s only £10 but it’s just the same crap every year. I don’t need another fluffy pair of socks or body wash gift set. I don’t know these people well enough to know what they’d really like, so all the gifts end up being generic or tat and I just can’t be bothered. We do have this online website where you can write a list of the things you like and create a wish list, but no one uses it. I just told my colleague that I don’t want to participate this year and she looked at me like I’d grown a second head and doesn’t understand why. She said she loves secret Santa but I’d just rather but presents for people that I choose. AIBU? Am I a Scrooge?

I’m on a bit of a health kick. Usually I bring in stews, casseroles etc.

My meal prep went wrong this week and I’m planning on taking a mini roast into the office tomorrow. There’s a few of us in the office who are trying to eat healthy and we were discussing lunches, I said this and a colleague went “urgh, great. The smell of gravy again”.

AIBU to do this? Everyone in the office tends to bring hot meals, but they’re usually ready meals. I figured a homemade meal would be fine, but now I feel a little self conscious.

My kids are 7 (DD) and 4 (DS) years old. I'd like to buy some smaller/cheaper presents for them that they will continue to play with for longer than the Christmas holidays. They love animals, make believe/dress up, crafts and preferably something that would encourage them to play together.

Can anyone recommend something tried and tested for say less than £20?

I’m really stumped here as girls/women are usually quite easy to buy for but I don’t want to get it wrong! It will be our first Christmas together as a family since they had a civil partnership in the summer.
A bit of info..She is Chinese, foodie gifts are out as she has very specific tastes, eg she doesn’t like chocolate.
Everything she wears is high end designer, think Chanel, Dior etc.
She also only uses very high end perfume (Dyptique) and make up.
We traditionally have a couple of larger presents then more very small ones to open throughout the day and I can’t think what on earth to get her!
DS1 suggested a voucher but that’s only one present!

A few months ago I booked to take my children to Matilda in Concert at the Royal Albert Hall this month (October), I had to book hospitality tickets because those were the only tickets left at the time of booking. And then today have been sent an email with the hospitality details and this is the menu! They don’t have a separate children’s menu either even though Matilda is a family event! AIBU to think this menu isn’t suitable for children? My children have autism and are very fussy so the only thing that they will eat on this menu will be the desserts but even then I don’t think there’s much on this menu that most neurotypical children would eat either? In my opinion it’s not suitable for families or children even though it’s supposed to be a family event!

I’ve copied and pasted the menu below incase the image doesn’t work:

Snacks (served pre-show):
Black garlic polenta crackers

Seaweed tapioca crackers

Canapés (served pre-show):
Glazed beef skewer, chimichurri

Parmesan churros, tomato and Parmesan sauce (V)

Cold Bowl (served pre-show):

Pumpkin seed houmous, maple-roast pumpkin, pomegranate, pickled pumpkin ribbons, mint oil

Sliders (served pre-show):
28-day dry-aged beef patty, crispy bacon, tarragon and chive aioli, confit garlic,
served with potato hash puffs, truffle mayo

Moroccan-Spiced lamb slider, grilled onions, sumac mayonnaise & pickled cucumber,
served with buffalo cauliflower

Dessert canapés (served during the interval):
Mango, passion fruit, coconut pavlova

Millionaire's chocolate mousse, salted caramel, vanilla sablé

Milk and Cookies

Drinks:

Trebbiano, Rubicone, Novità
Sangiovese, Rubicone, Novità
Estrella Galicia 4.7%
Ginger bitters (soft cocktail)
Sparkling mineral water
Still mineral water

I submitted my Tax Return for the year to 5 April 2026 last week. Having checked my government gateway account it shows a repayment due and says "repayment pending '. Does anyone know how long I'll have to wait before it reaches my bank account ? Many thanks 😊

Skirt https://www.marksandspencer.com/faux-leather-midi-wrap-skirt/p/clp61268242?color=Black&intid=mobileapppdpshare
Fit is amazing
feel amazing
looks really expensive.

But if I wore it with black tights, would it look weird ? if I wore it with knee boots would it break up the whole split thing so I think I have to work with heels and then what on my legs?

I've taken a career break and have gone back to work after several years out with the kids. I didn't have much choice in the matter as the kids were close in age so childcare was so expensive that there was no advantage to working, only a logistical nightmare. And we had no family support on either side.

I now find some of my peers far ahead of me (mostly male but some female ), in director roles. I know they have similar age kids. But whenever any mention is made of school holidays, teacher training days, teacher strikes etc, and I end up taking time off, often unpaid, it emerges that they simply send their kids off to be minded by grandparents, often for weeks at a time in summer. Or they get away for a weekend with their partner, while their parents mind their kids.

I can't help feeling really annoyed. Neither of our parents would ever do that for us, and at this stage we wouldn't even ask. But these people I work with seem to act like it's totally normal. They also all seem to have free holidays in their parents' holiday homes whenever they want, in France or Spain. Am I being unreasonable to be pissed off about it?

Would really appreciate some advice from other parents ❤️

I’m dealing with a bit of a friendship situation between my children and another child at school, and I’d love to hear how other parents would handle it.

Recently, the other child’s mum contacted me to say her daughter had been coming home upset and saying my children had been unkind to her. I’ve also been hearing from my children about things this child has said to them, including calling one of them rude or horrible and telling them to go away during an activity at school. One of my children spoke to a teacher about an incident, and the teacher addressed it with the other child.

Now I’ve received another message saying that one of my children told the other child that Father Christmas isn’t real. I’m going to speak to my child about this, although they still believe in Father Christmas themselves, so I suspect they may have repeated something they heard elsewhere without really thinking about it.

What I’m finding difficult is that the other parent has said she is “struggling to see how we move past this” because her daughter is only six and she wants her to believe in Father Christmas for as long as possible. I understand why she is upset, as it’s something magical for young children, and I’m not dismissing her feelings. However, I’m unsure how I’m supposed to approach this, particularly as my child still believes in Father Christmas too.

I completely understand that all children can say or do things that upset others, and I’m not suggesting my children are blameless. We teach them to be kind and respectful, but they’re still learning how to manage friendships, disagreements and their emotions.
What I’m finding difficult is that I seem to be receiving messages about different incidents quite frequently, and I don’t want this to turn into a daily back-and-forth between parents. I want to deal with things appropriately, listen to my children, and take concerns seriously, but I also feel that children need some space to learn how to navigate friendships, with guidance from parents and teachers where needed.

How would you handle this? Would you continue discussing each incident with the other parent, suggest that the teacher helps manage any issues at school, or have one calm conversation with the parent to agree on how to move forward?

I’d really appreciate hearing how others have handled similar situations, especially when both sides of the story need to be considered. I want the children to feel happy and safe at school, without the situation becoming bigger than it needs to be. ❤️

I've always sold my clothes on eBay or through resale boutiques but they're just not shifting.

Due to my career in fashion and beauty they are brands such as Max Mara, Ralph Lauren and Dolce Gabanna.

I have lost a lot of weight and where my clothes used to get snapped up they have practically no Interest. I'm asking about 20% of what I paid.

The dress agency has said that since WLJ she has no call for the bigger sizes.
I know that approximately 10% of the population are on these drugs (source Good Housekeeping magazine). I would have taken them myself if I hadn't been poorly.

I'm about to move and was hoping to not take them with me. They are four sizes too big so can't easily be altered .
Has anybody had any luck selling their clothes or have I missed the boat?

I don’t understand why Meghan is so often treated as the driving force behind everything people dislike about them, while Harry is portrayed as some helpless man who’s been led astray.

He’s a grown man with his own opinions and the ability to make his own decisions. It’s his family and presumably he has far more history with them than she does. Why is the assumption that she’s manipulated him, rather than that he has his own grievances and is doing what he wants?

You don’t have to like Meghan to recognise that Harry is responsible for his own behaviour. I actually find him more irritating, particularly the impression he gives that everyone else is responsible for his unhappiness.

AIBU to think she gets a disproportionate amount of the blame, while he gets far too much benefit of the doubt?

I'd love to diversify my cool weather wardrobe a little. I'm looking for dresses that hit mid calf or a bit lower but are not full length (this is non-negotiable); I'm a little busty so variations on v necks or bodices with buttons you can unbutton are best. Long sleeves or 3/4 length sleeves; these would be day dresses. Very very strongly prefer a gentle A line that isn't interrupted by a waist seam. Size 14, but tallish with the weight spread reasonably evenly. Autumn/winter weight, please. (I fantasize about the perfect needlecord dress.) Can't wear yellow/orange/brown/lime green/olive drab colours. Strong blues, teal, dark green, dark red, dark purple, and even black especially welcome!
And I'd love to pay less than £150 (per dress, that is!). (Not asking a lot, am I? 🙂) Suggestions?

I am really struggling to find some nice ankle boots that will also be comfortable. I used to have some great ones from Russell and Bromley. I would prefer not completely flat - just a one inch block heel.

i bought some of those slightly taller chunky Chelsea boots that everyone has been wearing but I think my ankles are too narrow for them and so my heel moves and they are really uncomfortable.

Hiya. Been on wegovy nearly 2 wks (1.5mg pill). My bmi27 im 43 and exercise. Really no effect? Im eating the same or more... 2 horrible nights one with nearly fainting after getting up too quick, the other vommitting after a heavy meal. Feel like im thinking about food the whole time as im hyper aware of taking this drug. Really not sure if its for me? Push on or ditch it?

I grew up with an alcoholic father who caused such misery. One of the terrors was when he went out just for a pint and then hours went by and we all got more and more fearful waiting for him to come home and unleash hell. Even with years of counselling that core fear is still there.

When I met by DH I said then that moderate drinking didn’t bother me but him going out unexpectedly for hours and coming home drunk did as it kicks in that fear of waiting. I don’t like him drunk as he sneers and laughs at me. Despite this he has consistently done it and I’ve put up with it. It’s always been the only thing we argue about. I’ve even locked him out in the past but it made no difference.

He’s 67 now and retired for four years and everything revolves around drinking. He drinks every day but doesn’t get drunk just always topped up. All his presents from family are always bottles of whisky or beer.

Once a month he goes out and comes back really drunk and did it again tonight despite me asking him to limit it to a few. I just saw red when he came back and grabbed all his many many bottles and poured it all down the toilet as he slumped drunk. I’ve had enough. When he sobers up tomorrow I’m telling him there’s to be no more drink in the house or I’m leaving.

I’m 10 years younger with a good career and earn my own money so not financially dependent. Both children are grown up and have their own lives.

AIBU? He says he isn’t an alcoholic and most people do this and I’m overreacting but I think he can’t control himself. Or am I blinded by my own fears? Why can’t he just have one or two?

Hi my kids now late teens have never had a stocking . I never had one as a child either . I want to do it this year but not kill myself financially . So what sort of things do you put in it? When do you give it ? Please not anyone who spends over 50 pounds ?