I suppose they’re unique!

I am at the stage where major changes are needed but it all seems too much. In summary:

1. I am 6 stone overweight. I do a lot of walking but very little other exercise. I used to be pretty sporty and miss being competitive. Im struggling with joint pain and easy mobility now.
2. I live rurally and will find it hard to move due to elderly parents to care for although this care is currently minimal (will get more over coming years i think).
3. Due to rural living, im horrifically lonely but crave both peace and quiet and a busy life full of people. I am full of contradictions. I have no local friends, just a few acquaintances who I rarely see.
4. I am highly likely autistic but do not want a diagnosis as I love travel and feel that the world is increasingly against anyone with differences. I doubt it'll be long before places like America don't want neurodiverse people visiting.
5. I work remotely which doesn't help. I've been looking for alternatives for some time. I feel like im at the beck n call at work and hate it.
6. I jump from hobby to hobby, job to job with no staying power.
7. Im a procrastinstor and often spend days just watching TV series. Im decisioned out/burnt out and get to the end of the day hating that I've done nothing.
8. I've never had a longterm relationship and im past child bearing age.
9. Im depressed but don't want medication. It hasn't helped much before.

Where the heck do I start?

Help!
I need inspiration for a black tie event, but not sure where to look. Mid to late 40s, UK 12-14 and 5 foot 7; but have a wobbly mum pouch thanks to 3 kids, c-section etc.
I haven’t dressed up for years, and would love to feel and look wow!
Colour preference is silver, but possibly cream or white too. Aiming for glam, sexy and sophisticated.
Budget is around £100 but wiggle room for the wow factor 😉

I met a woman through a local hobby (fitness group) that I volunteer for. When she became pregnant she stopped training. We realised we live on the same street (six houses apart) and I began going swimming with her to help keep her fitness up. I don't love swimming but it was nice for the company and it meant we could share a (my) car.

She messaged after she had the baby but said no visitors. Then when baby was there months old she offered to call over so I could meet him. I was delighted, had a gift, made the place comfortable for them both. She called over and stayed four hours even thought I was feeding DC around her. I was expecting a much shorter visit and had to get firm explaining I needed to get DC ready for bed. She ate dinner and dessert too.

Then she suggested visiting again so I said yes but let's go for a walk this time with baby and stop at a coffee shop. Three times she has come then said no it's easier to just come in, I've no blanket, it's going to rain, my hip is sore. Every single time I have to ask her to leave after the visit drags on saying "I'm sorry I have things to do" repeatedly. The last time she firmly said she wouldn't as baby was sleeping and she couldn't disturb. Then when he woke up she started setting him up for feeding and I had to carry him to his carrier, open the door and walk them home.

I don't have time to sit and chat for hours. I understand she's lonely but we aren't close friends and she never actually asks me about myself or let's me talk so it doesn't even feel like a friendship developing. I feel like some sort of public service that's there to support her keep her spirits up while she can't exercise with us.

A few days ago was the final straw. She had messaged and instead of ignoring it (as she often turns up then regardless) I replied and said don't call over, I'm far too busy. She read the message. My DH then came upstairs and told me she was in the sitting room waiting for me.

I came down and quite bluntly said "I told you I was busy, so I don't know why you're here. I'll have to ask you to leave."

My DH was horrified and said to me afterwards he was very embarrassed that I would be so nasty. He walked her around with the baby and he's not off with me.

I hadn't really spoken to him about how much she was annoying me as I thought I just need to deal with it differently.

I don't know what I'm asking but I'm feeling shitty now.

Thinking of getting something done and Sculptra is what a practitioner suggested for me. (Mind you she also tried very hard to sell me some other stuff too despite my saying NO very firmly from the offset).

I don't want botox. I'd rather not have fillers though might consider in the longer run. I'm happy to wait for the treatment to take effect. In fact I don't want any sudden changes!

I like the idea of something boosting collagen production, which is what Scuptra is supposed to do (or so I understand).

Have you had it? What did you think? Or have you had any other treatments which are supposed to encourage collagen formation?

All information gratefully received!

The hill that I will die on. Dogs should not be allowed in eating establishments.

Just had another lunch spoilt as a family came in with 3, yes 3, large dogs and sat down at the table beside us. It’s gross, unhygienic and anti social. If I wanted to eat surrounded by animals I’d grab a takeaway and go and sit in a vet’s waiting room.

Close to £100 wasted on a lunch where I had a dog licking it’s bumhole in my line of vision.

As the title goes , a couple of examples:

It only costs xxx - What an incredibly ignorant thing to say in this day and age of mass inequality. On any given day there's a bullshit thread on here comparing pension plans and the amount of hundreds of thousands people have saved compared to the ones who have nothing saved.

Well I've never seen/heard that before - well Jackie, I've never seen anyone abuse a wheelchair user or a trans person or a Jewish person in my own life, but I believe that it happens, despite my not witnessing it.

Feel free to rant about other stuff that people are willfully oblivious to.

I have changed my name for this because posts on my normal account could give away the company involved.

DS (17) had his final day of a part time job today. He knew it was always a short term contract and he really enjoyed working there, it was his first proper job.

Upon picking him up today, he was absolutely covered head to toe in flour, eggs, milk and god knows what else. Apparently it’s tradition whenever someone leaves that they get tied up and humiliated by their colleagues. I could tell DS was shaken up, he said he didn’t know it was going to happen and he didn’t feel they’d listen if he asked them to stop.

He took off what clothes he could before getting in my car but it’s in a right state.

I am in two minds to turn up at the company tomorrow and give them a piece of my mind. I said as much to DS. He’s only 17 for goodness sake.

He has asked me not to say anything to them.

Would it be wrong of me to make an issue of this despite his wishes for me not to?

Call me old fashioned, but isn't this sort of thing likely to provoke a run on toilet rolls? Couldnt find any other threads on it, but I think there is a "preppers" topic on here somewhere. In any case, what do you think? I'm sort of concerned, should I be? Or has this gone under the radar?

https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2026/aug/25/uk-to-warn-citizens-to-stock-up-on-food-amid-threat-from-climate-crisis-and-hostile-states

I am in the mood for baking/making desert. But I am currently sugar and ultra processed free.

Anyone got any good recipes.
(Bored of eating just plain fruit)

11yo DS is autistic and has an eating disorder called ARFID. Im begging for help but no-one seems concerned.

When diagnosed 4 years ago he was between 25th - 50th centile for weight. Since then he has gradually slipped down the char until now hes off the bottom (below 0.4 centile).

Hes so weak and tired that 5 minutes at a park completely wipes him out. Hes breathless walking up the stairs. Because of the autism he struggles hugely with demands so I cant just tell him to eat/drink.

Though he does eat its very restrictive and every day there's a calorie deficit of 800-900 calories. He has several vitamin deficiencies but cant tolerate the oral supplements. We've attempted what feels like all supplement drink/shake options and he just gags and refuses them. Fljid kntake is a huge concern also - drinking around 500ml a day (can be less) is normal for him.

Dietitian said a few months ago that if things didn't improve he would need a feeding tube as the next step. DS wants this. He is excited to have pressure to eat and drink removed and wants to be healthier. It would mean medicines and supplements can be given through the tube also.

Hes been referred for a PEG but the waiting list is a minimum of 12 months.

Monitoring his intake, noticing cold extremities and mottled skin and trying to encourage without demanding are taking a huge toll on me. He is literally wasting away in front of my eyes. But because he is 'stable' (ha!) at home and not actively in organ failure it's apparently fine to just keep going.

Im so desperately worried for him but no-one seems to be taking it seriously 😭

I’m married with an 18 month old and another one due next year. We sold my little flat earlier this year and currently live with my mum so that we can save and be chain free.

We are now house hunting but having disagreements on where to live. DH really liked a house on zoopla, but the house is practically on a roundabout and there’s no parking. Living on a roundabout is a hard no for me. He was really disappointed. DH also wants me to be open to living in a flat but I don’t want a flat to be my forever home and I envision raising my family in house. We can afford to buy a house. We had a big argument tonight, he thinks I’m being picky and not compromising. Is he right?

First day at council office job. Dont want to spend money if I can get away with what I have at home.

I was thinking of smart casual look: wearing black wide leg jeans with ribbed top and blazer, with white sneakers?

Would that be okay?

Trying to find the right way to explain how I am feeling here.
i guess my question is how long would you ‘date’ someone when you have a feeling they are not really the one for you but also are nice and kind etc
im dating a guy for around 8 months, for many reasons I feel we are not compatible in the long run and I also feel by this stage my feelings should have grown more towards loving them and they haven’t.
but he’s nice company, the sex is good etc
do I just call it a day now as I’m sure this won’t be a long term thing? We haven’t talked massively about our feelings and the future but I’m impression is that he thinks this is ‘it’ for him.

DH is off work for the 6 week holiday. I’ve had 2 weeks off where we went on holiday for a week and another pottering around. we are ttc and he has 2 kids from a previous relationship that live with us week on/week off.

DH has hobbies in the evenings on Mondays, Tuesday, Thursdays and Fridays. Obviously on those days on the weeks his kids are here I have to stay in and make sure there’s an adult in the house.

Dhs other hobby is video games. On Saturday and Sunday he played on it all day, and I mean all day. This week his kids are on holiday with their mum so he’s had no responsibilities. Monday was our anniversary, he video gamed all day whilst I was at work, gave me my gift and card, and then went to do his hobby until 9:30pm.

Today when I arrived home from work, he said “let’s spend tonight in my office” (his office being where his computer games are). I feel so sad that he doesn’t want to spend time with me.

And then on our anniversary night he said “turtleneckhead, I want one day where I am a total teenager. I want to game all day until the early hours of the morning. No responsibilities, no having to come down for dinner. I’ll pay for you to go to a spa that day”

Aibu to think this is very incompatible behaviour with marriage? Or am I controlling?

Just that really. My husband and I have literally nothing so nothing to give away!!

My wife and I are at loggerheads on this, so I'm looking for outside opinions...

Bit of background - we're in our 40's and both work, and we have 2 daughters, 15 and 12. I don't ride but my wife and daughters do. We bought our first horse a couple of years ago. I was firmly against it, but my family appealed constantly, and my wife provided a breakdown of the costs, which turned out to be a wild underestimate.

A year later, that horse had some health issues and my wife said he wasn't suitable for our youngest daughter. So, I switched to work full time and we bought a second horse. Since then, the horse related costs have escalated endlessly (vets, van hire, trips to the saddlery...) and I'd guess we now spend around £25k a year on horses.

I've agreed to getting a 4x4 and horse trailer, but the next ask is that my wife wants us to move to a "house with land", so that she can keep the horses at home.

And this is where we clash. Acres of land in the south east is expensive, and would mean either moving into a worse house than we have now, or taking out a huge mortgage. I don't want an equestrian lifestyle. I don't want the extra maintenance, I don't like the smell, and I don't want to live in a rural backwater so I can have animals staring at me through my kitchen window. Am I being unreasonable to say "no, I don't want to spend any more on horses"?

I Am Being Unreasonable - I should agree to my wife's demand. Live a life I don't want, and probably face more escalating costs even with them living with us at home.

I Am NOT Being Unreasonable - I say "enough is enough". We spend enough already and need to draw a line under it.

Has anyone watched Ludwig on the BBC? I’ve watched the first series and started on the second. Anne Maxwell Martin plays the female lead, and I am just fascinated by her character’s style. Her hair is a very odd bob with a too short fringe and looks like she has cut it herself with kitchen scissors. Her dress style in the second season is an odd mix of old fashioned school girl (knock knees, short pleated skirts, white ankle socks and big Clarks shoes), and 70s/80s woman - striped polonecks, maroon anorak. It’s like she’s dressed from a school jumble sale.

What style is this? Why have they chosen it and who dresses like this in real life?

I think I’m fascinated because its so far from anything i could ever wear (big boobs, big hips). And I love the house her character lives in - I guess a lot of the clothing choices reflect that 70s / 80s vibe.

Hi

I'm getting married at the end of the year. It's second time for both of us so it's at a registry office then hotel for the reception.
I know I don't want to wear white but I'm struggling to find something fabulous that looks 'bride', not guest or bridesmaid.
It needs to be:

1. Colourful. I suit bright, jewel tones like emerald green and cobalt blue. Also black. A solid colour rather than patterned. I don't suit reds, yellows or pastel tones.
2. Fitted and structured. I'm 5ft 1 with a pear shape. My hips are wide and my lower half is chunkier than my top half. Probably a size 8 up top and a 10/12 on the bottom. I need something that really nips the waist in. I have a very short torso so the waist coming in just under the bust tends to flatter more.

Nothing floaty as I look like I'm playing dress up.

Necklines and sleeves I'm open to everything but would prefer no one shoulder dresses.

I don't mind about length but midi and short suit better than long as more fabric tends to swamp me and make my bottom half look bigger (which I want to avoid). No pockets either as they are designed to hit at my widest point.

No skirts/top combos. Really don't have the shape for them.

Please help. Budget is under £500 and id love to be able to wear it again after the wedding.

is anyone watching

I’ve just bought a Ninja Crispi, and am at a bit of a loss really. I know a lot of people who love their air fryers, but this one doesn’t have a temperature gauge so I don’t know how to cook things. So far, I’m just using it for reheating.

The instructions that came with it aren’t brilliant with suggestions.
If you have one and use it, can you give me some ideas please?

What have been your DCs favourite gift ever? Thinking we might get inspiration from others ideas!
I’ll start…
My daughters was her first Tiny Treasures doll aged 5. She then collected the whole set.
DS was probably his PlayStation! Aged 10.

I bought a new tumble dryer on Sat after using a really rubbish one for a few years. It didn't work well and I ended up with laundry on clothes horses all over my flat. Even with a decent dehumidifier running 24/7 it led to mould in some places.

Finally decided I'd had enough when it took 7+ days to get a pillow dry and ordered a condenser tumble dryer. It's amazing and gets stuff dry in no time at all. My laundry also doesn't smell faintly musty any more.

I can technically hang washing out but the washing line is by the bins and there's rats in the courtyard too.

Aibu to ditch the clothes horses and just use my tumble dryer exclusively? It'll be about three loads a week including bedding.

Hello,

I’m a 100% single mum to a 3-year-old DD, and my parents are very kindly taking her away with them for a week in the Canaries.

I’m fairly sure a lot of this is my own separation anxiety, but we’ve only spent 15 nights apart in her whole life, and only 3 of those have been consecutive nights. So a whole week feels like a very long time!

I’m particularly worrying about her getting upset and asking for me, and not really understanding why I’m not there. I’m not sure how well a 3-year-old understands the concept of a week, or that Mummy can’t just get on a plane and come and get her.

She knows and loves my parents and I know she’ll be safe and have a brilliant time. I’ll obviously FaceTime her if she wants to and if it works around their plans, but I don’t want her spending the whole holiday asking to call me or becoming more upset because she’s missing me.

For those who have had a similar experience, what worked for you?

Did you leave your little one anything from you, like a little note, photos, something that smells of you, a special toy etc.?
What did you do if they became really upset and wanted you?
And did you find FaceTime helpful or did it actually make things harder?
Also, did your 3-year-old understand how long they were going to be away for?

I know logically she is going to be absolutely fine and have a lovely time. I think I’m just finding the idea of a whole week without her much harder than I expected! 😂

Any advice or reassurance would be very welcome.

Something awful happened at the weekend, a ‘friend’ raped me, and tonight I have to go and do a video interview. I’m just not sure that I can go through with it. Even thinking about it makes me shake. I’ve done the forensics bit at the weekend, this is just the interview instead of making a statement.

Not sure what I’m posting for really. Has anyone else done one of these before? What if they don’t believe me?