Job interview for 12pm

10 candidates all booked in for 12pm being seen individually by one person.

So whoever is here last will presumably be interviewed an hour later than booked.

I had to go to the local shopping centre the other day to pick up a click and collect for my husband, new work shirts so nothing fancy! I thought why not make an afternoon of it as I rarely go shopping and I could maybe get a coffee and cake and even treat myself to a little something as my birthday is coming up.

I loved some of the clothes in places like monsoon and seasalt but it was all way too expensive dresses were £80 to £100 or more same with skirts which seemed to start at £65 and I know that isn't even considered expensive today but for me it is! I went for a look in the sephora as I love skincare but again it was all really expensive. The queue for the till was full of school girls buying things I wouldn't be able to buy for myself!

To be fair they were probably there spending birthday money and probably aren't spending money like that all the time. I suppose it just feels like the goal posts on these admittedly luxury items have been moved since I was in my teens and early 20's when I imagined that by my 40's I'd be able to at least buy some of these things or buy nice clothes now and then. My husband and I both degree and post graduate educated and work in professional jobs but we have to prioritise bills, the kids and food over luxuries. To be fair we have no debt at all and we will save for an buy large purchases cash mostly but I admit to feeling a bit personally deprived at times! When my mum was my age she worked in a call centre part time in the evenings and would go round the shops most weekend and buy herself a new top or other item of clothes and exclusively used clarins skincare, I use the ordinary, cerave or boots and superdrug own brand mostly and my clothes come from charity shops. My parents were working class made good but their disposable income seemed to go a lot further than mine does. We don't even have a large mortgage.

DH and I recently looked at taking a short trip to London as a joint birthday present to each other but the cost was so expensive we seem to have quietly shelved the idea.

In the end I had a look in waterstones but even that was expensive, since when are paperbacks routinely £14.99! I never even had a coffee or bit of cake as the selection of cakes looked dry and unappetizing but would still have cost £10 in total.

Am I being unreasonable to think the cost of a middle class lifestyle with a few luxuries has had the goalposts moved by quite some amount?

This trend (on Insta etc) for referring to inanimate objects as "she"........it is infuriating - handbags, holiday homes, bronzer......make it stop! I'm a 50 year old women and largely follow women of a similar age. It's infantile and ridiculous. AiBU?

Would love advice as to whether i am blowing things out of proportion or not.

I am 46, husband 48, married pretty much happily for 16 years. Two kids age 11 and 14. He works long hours in a high stress, corporate job in the city.

Over the last few years, he has become good friends with a big group of men and women at work. They go for boozy lunches, team nights out, and occasional parties at one of their houses where they all get v drunk. One other guy is his age, the others are 26-30ish. We are both v independent and i go out separately a lot as well as together and with joint friends. I have been beginning to find it slightly annoying as this group is always on whatsapp together, sharing jokes and sending each other pictures etc.

You probably already see where this is going. Recently one of this group, a 30 year old woman, Ive started to get a weird vibe about. For no concrete reason at all. I should say here that he has always had lots of female friends and ive never felt threatened - as he hasn't by my male friends.

BUT. This situation is different. Ive made a few comments about this person being his work wife etc, to which he hasnt really said much. Then for some reason on saturday we were both drunk and i started really questioning him about her - does he fancy her, etc. He then admits that at one of these mad parties about a year ago she said to him "Am i wrong in thinking there is something between us here". He claims he shut it down straight away and that was that. But crucially, he never told me.

I am now really upset about this as i didnt think we were that couple. He says it was truly nothing, never been mentioned since and didnt mention it to me because nothing to mention. But in the meantime, the group has all carried on as usual, drinking together etc and another big party a month ago.

He says he never would even think about doing anything and i think i do believe that, but it feels like a massive betrayal that he didnt tell me. I also know the group of them are going to keep having lunches and nights out together, and she will always be there. Dont even start me on what kind of person propositions their work 'friend' who is married with two kids...

Please share thoughts as i cant work out if im overreacting.

I need to start building up to eating normally again, I had a sickness bug last month and only recently started eating well again but was ill again last weekend and now can’t face any food .
I do fancy fruit but am worried that may not be ideal on a still very sensitive stomach.
At the moment I’m surviving on ginger tea with honey and plain biscuits.
I’ve just looked at getting a food shop delivery but can’t see anything I’d fancy .
Any suggestions for something light ?

I have found myself in an unbearable situation and don’t know what to do. I’m getting married in 10 days and am literally having panic attacks at the thought of it.

It’s all paid for, everyone’s invited, everything is booked and organised, we’ve been on the hen and stag parties, and the honeymoon is booked straight after the wedding.

We have two children (twins), aged 22 months.

The wedding was supposed to have happened two years ago, but I fell pregnant so we decided to postpone it as it was going to be around my due date. I was really looking forward to it at the time and things were good between us.

Fast-forward to now, I actually can’t bear to be around him. He is useless with the twins, I do absolutely everything around the house, carry the mental load, do the shopping, housework and work full-time. He’s fucking useless.

I’m not sure why I didn’t see this before, probably because it was less of an issue before being parents. We both had our own lives, seeing friends etc.

We have nothing in common. We have no conversation, nothing to talk about, he’s not even interested in talking about the kids. I’ve actually noticed he’s got no personality. We hardly have sex, and when we do it’s just to get him off my back. I know that sounds bad, but I actually fucking resent him so much I can’t bear the thought of him coming near me.

I know I’m not perfect and since having the kids I’ve also changed. They are my priority and I just don’t have time for him after completing my day.

I shouldn’t have let the wedding get this far, but it was booked years ago and I thought things would get better. We are kind of in the trenches at the moment with the twins. But I honestly feel sick at the thought of marrying him.

How can I call it off at such a late date? Should I just go through with it and, if things don’t improve, get divorced? I’m fucked!

So, I’m 45, perimenopausal, with a history of medical issues : Crohn’s, lipodema, MS, PCOS and type 2 diabetes. I’m on medication inc steroids and with my Crohn’s I can’t tolerate fibre and a lot of protein, (meat, fish,. salad, fruit and veg). I live off bland foods, crackers, pasta and potato mainly. Have seen nutritionists, done umpteen food diaries and any of those cause my digestive system to flare up.
I recently saw my husband’s friends after 2 years at a wedding and one of his good male friends, asked me ‘what have you done to yourself?’. The women married to these male friends who I’ve known over 10 years, treated me like dirt. I’ve probably gained 4 stone and gone from a size 16-18 to a size 22-24. I was so shocked that gaining weight has made me less of a human being to these shallow people and I didn’t know what to say. I was stuck there too as we had a room at the hotel, far from home. I went to the room and cried, had a shower and texted DH to say I wasn’t going back down to the party. I told him what was said to me and he’s livid with his friend and has told him it was out of order.
I wish I’d have had a witty reply ready. What should I have said?

What started as a casual club, has turned into a lifestyle. Mountain biking, 4x, bmx freestyle, bmx racing. It has saved my ND child's sanity, and drained my bank account. I buy and sell and work so much overtime just so we can continue. It is far better than any play therapy or council funded clubs we've ever received (especially for his mh and mood). Anyone else making big sacrifices for their kids' hobbies? If only football would've stuck!

I run my own business doing a professional service and offered to help my SIL’s partner with this service for free as a favour to his small business a couple of weeks ago.

He gave me all the required paperwork last week and then I came down with a bug and today is my first day back at work. They know I’m ill as I couldn’t attend a family lunch over the weekend.

Today I’ve had a message from the partner asking where the completed work is as he has an important deadline in a couple of weeks (not mentioned before and not something I’d have been aware of). I said as I’d been ill, everything was a little pushed back and it would be a bit later this week.

Tonight I’ve had a message from my MIL asking where this work is and saying I need to get it to him asap. I feel super pissed off that I’m now being chased by the rest of the family and that it also makes me look incompetent. She said my SIL had been talking about how he really needed it and I hadn’t done it this evening.

It’s not paid, it would have cost easily 4 figures, and I’ve been unwell…

AIBU to get this over the line and then never help them again?!

We are two women going on a week-long break to Marrakech to escape stressful jobs and demanding kids.

we

can’t

wait

However, my appearance is quite “alt” (I have rainbow coloured hair) and my friend is a pasty-white ginger. I’m quite worried that we’ll stand out a mile as targets for pushy salespeople etc. - would appreciate hints and tips on how to “be” in Marrakech!

7yr old boy & 4 yr old girl

what are some really cool/ useful Christmas stocking fillers ? Lets say 4 items each. I really don’t want tat but I can’t think of anything fun and different.

I went through all my clothes and Vinted them in the summer. Now I need a new capsule for the winter. I have jeans so not worried about them, but would like some new tops and bottoms - not too expensive, I'm thinking M&S, Mango, H&M, John Lewis
Anyone fancy helping me/us build a 'casual' capsule wardrobe for the winter

Ballerinas are supposedly in again. I have these shoes from around 2010-2013, are they wearable again? I have them in a few colours, I used to find them very comfortable. I know I can wear what I want but I want to be vaguely fashionable. Are they fashionable again or can you clearly see that they are 15 year old shoes?

I need to sit down and tell the children that their father and I are getting divorced. I’ve been looking online for advice on the best way to do this. One of the main points is not to assign blame anywhere. I’m ok with this, I want to do what’s best for my children. Here is the problem, we’re divorcing due to my STBXH’s infidelity and DS1 (12yo) unfortunately knows about this infidelity (due to STBXH being indiscreet). DS2 (10yo) does not know. When sitting us all down to tell them about the divorce, I’m envisioning lots of “but why?” questions in the moment and due to DS1 knowing I feel like we’ll be gas lighting him here if the real reason isn’t alluded to, even if it’s just “daddy broke some promises” kind of line. I’m also concerned about DS1, having to hold this back from DS2. It feels like more lies are being created within the family and we’re pulling DS1 into it all. But all the advice says don’t lay the blame on anyone when telling the children, but what happens when one of them already knows why the divorce is happening? As I said, I really don’t want to drag them both through it, I just don’t want DS1 to feel like he’s holding a big secret because that’s hugely damaging in itself. I will be getting counselling for him whatever happens. For the children’s future happiness, what’s the best thing to do here?

Thanks so much to @Sideorderofchips for keeping things going. I can barely believe it's September and (for me at least!) that only means one thing - Christmas can start!!!!

Hope you've all had a great year and have missed you all. Last couple of years I've had various health things going on so have been a bit distant from the threads. Not quite there yet but feeling stronger than this time last year and I can't wait until I see more festive items in the shops! I've already bought my advent calendar - I've got the taskmaster one (which I'm quite excited about!).

I'll post various links etc in the next thread first post but essentailly you guys know the drill - share and be nice or leave.

<waves to everyone>

It seems to be affair confessional central here tonight.

If you were an unmarried woman having an affair with a married man did he get away with it or did his wife find out?

I have no skin in the game - just nosiness about the hidden volume of secrets out there. And obviously anyone could write any old rubbish.

I am on holiday with my daughter who is 22.

We have not been on a joint holiday just the 2 of us before but she had no one else to come with as none of her friends have money, and really wanted to travel across some parts of Europe. She has travelled before with friends but one of these trips went wrong as they fell out and she had to come home early

The trip has been very expensive and complex with travel arrangements and before hand she did a lot of research on the main destination and I helped with most of the bookings

The first location wasn’t DD’s choice but it was just an overnight and a day, so I accepted up she was hot, tired from travel and keen to get onto the next place

She went to bed at 6pm and I went out alone in the city, which was fine but a bit of a shame I tried to make the best of it. She said she didn’t care about this place but it was beautiful.

The second day we went to a different city. We walked around and she liked it but by 7pm she was tired and wanted to lie in bed.

There wasn’t as many places to go on my own in that city and our hotel was further our, so I stayed in the hotel from 7pm to 10am the next day. I did ask if she wanted to watch anything or play a card game together she said no I needed to entertain myself. I had so many hours with not much to do, I am not one for TV shows or games but I did my best to entertain myself but I was disappointed. The next day she said she would have done something with me but I fell asleep. Yes I fell asleep at 11pm after waiting hours for her to get off her phone.

We travel to the third place, this place is really lovely and what she wanted to do, with lots of activities (rural) but she is moody, rude and snappy. I call her out and say pls don’t be snappy at me be polite, she storms off. I chase her and say let’s sort this out. She is even more rude and I tell her off and say that’s enough. She is upset by this as days I am making her feel like a child, which I understand but we try to make the best of it.

She won’t come to the shops for food, or eat the food, she won’t really commit to making plans or decisions and is just sullen and sulky.

Today we have plans, she gets up late, is moody, walking slowly, won’t chat so I ask what’s up, she said nothing. I eventually ask if I am annoying her, she said I need to take hints when I should stop talking (general chit chat). I walk off ahead to give her some space so I don’t get irritated and say something I will regret, and she turns around without telling me and buggers off for the day alone.

We have been texting since and we just can’t seem to sort it out. her endless horrible moods are causing so much tension and I am completely to blame and she’s done nothing wrong. I do try to ignore the moods but we are trapped together and she is just picking on everything I say or do. It feels like she hates me. I ask her if she just wants to go do her own thing, if so just to tell me, but she just keeps taking me round in mental circles that I am ruining her trip.

I have the hire car, if I go home and leave her she is stuck here. If I wanted a solo holiday I would have chosen one where all the activities weren’t joint ones! I am just sitting at our apartment now not sure what to do.

I can do find things to do by myself for the rest of the trip but it’s just such a shame. I’ve tried calling a peace truce but then she gets into a weird mood again and I am treading on eggshells and being inadvertently irritating (just by asking a simple question, or observing something)

What do I do?

continue in silence?
go home?
find other accommodation?
go do my own thing the whole trip?
keep trying to sort things out with her?

I am at my wits end

The weather has turned I need some new work shoes. I suffer from plantar fasciitis so need something very supportive and also ideally does half sizes.

I had some m&s boots that I wore with insoles last year which were great but the sole has completely come off!

Thoughts on the name Agatha, middle name Jean, with a double-barrelled surname?

I really like Agatha, and we’d probably use Aggie as a nickname. I know it’s quite a divisive name, so interested to hear what people think…

One thing I’m unsure about is whether people associate “Aggie/aggy” with “aggressive” or being irritable? I’m not from the UK so I’m not sure if this is actually a thing people would notice?

Would love honest thoughts.

I have a cocktail party to go to and bought this. It's fairly inoffensive and I like the off shoulder design. Size 16. Curious to hear ideas about something to sort of lift it though from plain navy. I can't wear heels. I have baroque pearl and topaz drop earrings I am considering wearing. My hair is long and auburn and I will probably wear it in a chignon.

I'm not grat at anything style-related so would relish advice from kind posters!

www.next.co.uk/style/su923185/w87234

My child has autism and attends an SEN school. Last year and this year it has been the same layout - 4 adults to the class, 6 children (including mine).

Earlier on in the year, school called and said she had eaten something poisonous at school. She has been back a day, and they rang again to say the same thing had happened again. Last time we had to sit in hospital for 6 hours for observations, looking like it’s going the same way again today.

They know my child has a tendency to do this, but they are clearly not being watched closely enough when outside and these things are around.

AIBU to put in a complaint to school, and who to - the headteacher or head of year?

Just want to add, that if I had taken my child to hospital with two cases of poisoning over a few months that had happened at home, they would have been reporting me to social services, yet there seems to be no consequences because it’s happening at school instead and the school aren’t being reprimanded for it.

Just emptied the dishwasher lifted a pot out and the handles completely snapped off. That's two this month alone think my pots are a mix of Morphy Richards and Russell Hobs. Can anyone please help me with new pots to buy.

The film Angel Face - Robert Mitchum and Jean Simmons 1952

During the start he is describing his girlfriend and mentions she is 105lbs

I thought I'd misheard and maybe it was 125lbs but no, 105lbs

Thats 7 and a half stone.

Seems very tiny but AI tells me that is the usual sort of frame and weight to height ratio for actresses in those days. The actress playing the girlfriend was 5'4 apparently. So slight frame but not underweight

I was a bit surprised it was so low a weight.

I've booked a 9am train out of St Pancras, which seemed quite civilised at the time, but when I've counted backwards from their arrival time (7:45), added travel time from home plus a bit for things to go wrong, it means leaving home at 5:30am.

What happens if I don't arrive until 8:30?

While I'm looking after my grandson (2 &1/2), it's my job to keep him safe and happy. I do want to teach him social skills (sharing etc)...but also that he's important & he shouldn't necessarily put other people ahead of himself (especially strangers).
So, when at the park, I allow him to stay on the swing even when there are people nearby waiting for a turn.

At a park today, there was a very vocal mother with 2 children. She came along about 1 minute after gs had got on the swing. One of her children got on the other swing while her 2nd child had to wait. She kept saying, very loudly, that other child had to wait until we finished. Until he complained enough that she removed her daughter from the swing to let him on (making her daughter cry). Why would she think it's ok for my gs...a stranger...to be upset by being removed for her children?
There was another (I assume) grandparent that had taken child from her pram to sit & wait right next to the swing for a turn. Why not go on a different activity while waiting? It just feels pushy!

My grandson had waited ages for a turn...but from other areas of the park..& went running over once the swings were free. What rules do other people go by...& do these change with children's ages?