Previous thread: https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/telly_addicts/5587046-welcome-to-the-castle-we-take-it-day-by-day-2026-celebrity-traitors-thread-3-tv-pace?page=1

This is a tv pace thread so make sure you’re up to date with the live broadcast and yes, previous series (regular and celeb) will be discussed!

Please no spoilers if you read them online!

The story so far (as at end of episode 4)

Traitors (still active)
Maya Jama
James Acaster (recruited)
Professor Hannah Fry (recruited)

Faithful

James Blunt
Jerry Hall
Joanne McNally
Joe Lycett
King Kenny
Michael Sheen
Miranda Hart
Sebastian Croft
Sharon Rooney

Up for Murder
Leigh-Anne Pinnock
Rob Beckett
Romesh Ranganathan
RossKemp (full name)

Murdered
Amol Rajan
Bella Ramsey

Banished
Richard E Grant (Traitor)
Myha’la
Julie Hesmondhalgh

Long story short, I want to know if my insecurities are playing tricks on me. I want to know if you would mind your partner playing a mobile game, where he can be in a team with other members and the possibility of private chats etc. Would you mind them discussing the game with other members including women? I don’t feel I can trust DH after infidelity 3 years ago, inappropriately texting another woman. I felt anxious when I looked up the game he’s been playing where it says there’s a chat function and I outright demanded he show me his game. He showed me it all and couldn’t see anything suspicious except speaking about the game to members. I know it sounds awful and we have two small kids so there’s bigger things for me to worry about but I am just so fed up of feeling this way. This is the second time I’ve asked to see his phone since the infidelity 3 years ago. The first time was also this week where I asked to see his WhatsApp, he showed me everything but I still have these insecurities. I just don’t know what to do.

I need advice. I was promoted last year and this year went into mat leave in July. We had a new C suite who decided to restructure the team. According to them not to cut people or costs. They came up with the structure and the new roles. When I left part of my job was distributed to two other people plus a replacement that was hired at a lower position.
with the restructure i was offered 4 roles but this were all lower positions. The only other person who was in same position as me was offered better/higher roles. I spoke with the Chief and was promised a suitable role and that they would contact me. Nothing so far and emailed them last week. On Friday was told by a colleague that roles were assigned and my name came under one of the lower positions.

I’ve posted before about dd15, her boyfriend and their son now 8 months. I won’t go into detail as this will be long but long story short:

She started dating a boy and her behaviour changed, we argued all the time, she moved in with her dad and got pregnant. Her bf treated her horribly after they broke up including waiting for her at the bus stop and outside classrooms and getting his friends to aswell basically intimidating her. She was heavily pregnant and extremely anxious about this. She blocked him on everything for a bit then they started talking again

He was at the birth, and as grandson has got bigger he has surprised me by being involved, he does seem to have really grown up and i may be naive but i don’t see him as that bad kid anymore, i think a lot of it is down to parenting (lack of) as he lives with his dad and older brothers and doesn’t see his mum and when his dad found out dd was pregnant he called her a slag and basically said his son wasn’t the dad. They got back together a month or so after grandson was born and I welcomed him as much as possible as I knew being against their relationship would push them together again, like before. He stays over on weekends and gets up with grandson and plays with him etc, grandson adores him and her bf sort of admits he’s only changed for the baby.

He’s given up weed (so he tells dd but i have no evidence or reason to doubt him), it’s not all been plain sailing as he did tattoo his own initial onto dd but dd says he treats her well and they’re happy and i think i do believe her, she cried to me about him multiple times last time they were together when she was still pregnant so i think she’d be honest ( i hope)

Anyway now the reason im posting, we’re going on a caravan holiday tuesday, grandsons first holiday and dd is excited about it, we’re going with her dad and he’ll have some of my dc in his caravan. I can’t really discuss this with her dad though (we aren’t together) as he’d just say let him go as he is quite lax so i’m asking mn, she’s asked if her bf can come. If they were average 15 year olds, no parents then id say no of course not but they’re parents, im still in two minds whether it’s appropriate and also the fact i cant discuss with his dad. He says his dad doesnt care where he is and if he says he’s with us he doesnt care but i do feel abit uncomfortable

WWYD?

** She also asked back in summer. I said no and she stayed with her dad as he didnt come then but this time it’s not possible

Life has definitely undergone a seismic shift in the last few months and it’s a lot easier.

Now if I could get rhe 3 yo to sleep past 6 am …

DS16 has a gf 18 who he's been seeing for 18m or so. He is pretty mature for his age - youngest of 4 - and she isn't, and they look similar, so it doesn’t seem like a maturity or power imbalance.

He is only just 16. His siblings all had the rule of no staying overnight with someone until they were 18.

They both went to Reading festival in the summer, each camping with their friends, and I had the conversation with him before he went about mates before dates etc as I didn't want him spending the weekend with his gf instead of friends when he had arranged to go with them. Recently I was told via his friend's mum that he'd stayed in his gf tent.

Gf lives some distance away so we do say she can stay over any time. The other night she was sleeping downstairs and DS in his room upstairs; I woke up at 6am hearing someone opening/closing a door and on stairs.

I spoke to DS today. I said he is not permitted to sleep overnight with his GF until he is 18 (this was the rule we had for our other DCs) and I asked him about Reading and the other night at home. He said he'd stayed in GF tent one night at the festival and that the other night at home he fell asleep with her downstairs.

I've said he's broken our trust and she can't stay over and he can't have so much freedom now, because he's broken the rules and lied by omission.

Have I been totally naive here to trust him? Is it fair to apply our family rule of age 18 before sharing a bed with someone overnight ? AIBU to give DS less freedom now?

A crowd has turned out to see them. It’s currently being covered live on Sky News. Why on earth would anyone do this?

They aren’t working royals. They are just a pair of chancers who have scuttled back to Britain with their tails between their legs because they have died on their arses in the US. And now people are tugging their forelocks to them here.

People really are absolute fucking morons.

I recently uncovered my university diaries from the mid-1990s and have been completely thrown by what I found when reading my contemporary self. Back then, while navigating a difficult long-distance relationship with the man who is now my husband of 24 years, I had a brief, incredibly intense, and angsty six-month affair with a co-worker. He was an international student, deeply introspective, and far more worldly than me. I always assumed I was just a passing, conventional interlude in his life and that he’d forgotten me. However, on finding my diaries, out of curiosity I looked up his adult career - he became a successful screenwriter and director - and I was shocked to discover that one of his major, internationally broadcast TV drama series relies directly on the exact, highly specific relationship dynamics, conversations, and emotional conflicts we shared, even down to naming a core character after my husband. I am happily married and have no intention of disrupting my real life, but processing the sudden realisation that I was a defining creative muse for a successful television production decades ago has reopened a closed compartment in my mind. I am struggling with a surreal wave of nostalgia and really need a space to process these feelings, as I can't talk about this with anyone in my real life.

This is a bit of an odd one and I’m not sure why it bothers me, but it does. I am unsure how to approach it.

dd2 (we have 3dds) is part of a friend group that she was the last to join. All lovely except one, Ella, who seems threatened by dd and puts her down when others don’t hear. Dd ignores this as she doesn’t want to lose the rest of the group and this girl isn’t always there anyway so it’s fine. The issue I have is that dd has a perception that Ella’s family is loaded.

I’d say they’re comfortable and similar to us but dd seems to think we’re really poor by comparison. I think it’s how her parents speak and she repeats. Example being, dd might say “oh my dad works for the council” but Ella will say “my mum is very important at the council” - dh is significantly senior to her in the same organisation but it doesn’t feel right to correct it or we could sound petty.

Ella went on about their holiday to Greece, like us, but she would have had a different experience as they were in a 5 hotel. Dd had no clue what hotel we went to (it was 5*) so thinks “wow, Ella’s family is rich”.

They have brand new cars - Tesla as Range Rover. They’re both leased. We buy 3 year old cars cash and take care of them. We have fairly new VW and Fiat 500. We like our cars and morally wouldn’t buy a Tesla.

I think dh expressed it best when he said, we’re really not people who compare or do the whole keeping up with the jones’ but DD’s comments are annoying because she seems to be totally blind to the life she’s had. She’s been to 11 states in the USA, Canada twice, many European holidays, amazing hotels, theatre trips, concerts and festivals, we live in a 4 bed home with a lovely garden, yet you’d think she grew up in poverty.

I think I have to let things ride out and she’ll figure it out herself because I can’t think how to explain without sounding petty.

I am watching coverage of the protests in France including the shocking coverage of the burning of a town hall and wonder is this something that ever could happen in the UK or is protest at this scale somehow part of the French DNA given how the republic was born in revoution?

Personally I think immigration and it's consequences may be part of the unrest and I am questioning whether this mass uprisings is simply about school standards. We have a cost of living crisis in the UK but this form of protest does not happen so what is different?

Me and DP are having a bit of an argument about Christmas and I’m starting to wonder if I’m being unreasonable here.

We’ve been together 3 years and live together. I have a DS13 and DD8 from my previous relationship and he has two DDs, 15 and 10, from his marriage. His girls are with us alternate weekends and some of the school holidays. They are coming to us Christmas Eve and staying until Boxing Day this year.

We’d agreed we would have everyone here for Christmas dinner. His brother and my sister were invited as well, so its already going to be quite a full house. I don’t mind that, I like having people round for Christmas and the kids all get on well enough. I am the one who does most of the organising though, sorting food, presents, making sure everyone has got what they need etc. DP will help if I ask him but he isn’t the sort to think ahead about things.

Anyway a few days ago he mentioned that his ex wife would be coming for Christmas dinner as well. I actually thought he was joking at first and said what do you mean coming for dinner? Apparently he’d invited her because she would otherwise be on her own.

For context she has recently split up with her boyfriend and doesn’t have much family nearby. I do feel sorry for her in that respect and I’m not saying she should have to sit on her own all day if there is another option. But DP had already invited her before even mentioning it to me. I had no idea he was planning this and we hadn’t discussed it at all.

He said he thought it was the right thing to do and the girls would be happy having both their parents there. Which they are, his eldest especially was really pleased when she found out. I haven’t said anything to them about it and wouldn’t want to spoil their Christmas or make them feel like they have to choose between us.

But I don’t really understand why he couldn’t have asked me first? It’s my home as well and I’m going to be doing most of the work on the day. I finish work late on Christmas Eve so there is already going to be a lot to get sorted in a short space of time. I know having one extra person isn’t the end of the world but it isn’t really about the food or having enough chairs. I just feel like he’s made a decision that affects all of us and told me afterwards as though it’s already settled.

When I said I wasn’t comfortable with it he got quite annoyed and said I was being petty and making something nice into an issue. He said it was for the children. I said that I wasn’t stopping his girls seeing their mum. They could see her earlier in the day or he could take them to see her, or she could come over for a bit. I just hadn’t agreed to having her here for the whole dinner.

He then said it would be awkward if she only came for an hour and that the girls wanted her there. I do get that. They are old enough to understand their parents aren’t together but obviously it would be nice for them to have a Christmas where everyone can be in the same room and get along. I am not trying to make things difficult for them.

I don’t think she has done anything wrong either. We are civil when we see each other but we aren’t friends and we don’t socialise together. She’s never been rude to me and I have no reason to think anything is going on between them. They were married for a long time and have children together so obviously they will always have a connection. I’m not asking him to cut her out of their lives.

It is just that he does sometimes agree to things with her or the girls and then tell me afterwards. Usually it’s small things and I let it go, but this feels different because Christmas dinner is happening in our house and I’m the one who will be getting everything ready. I feel like if I had invited my ex to spend the day with us without discussing it with him, DP would have something to say about that.

My sister thinks he should have asked me first but says now that the girls are excited I should probably just let it happen. My friend says she wouldn’t have her partner’s ex wife sitting at her Christmas table at all, but I think that’s a bit harsh when she’s recently split up and would be alone otherwise.

I haven’t told DP she can’t come. I just said I wasn’t happy that he had invited her without even asking me, and now he’s acting like I’ve got a problem with his ex when that’s not what I said.

AIBU to think he should have spoken to me before inviting her, or am I making too much of it and should just get on with Christmas?

I'd love to diversify my cool weather wardrobe a little. I'm looking for dresses that hit mid calf or a bit lower but are not full length (this is non-negotiable); I'm a little busty so variations on v necks or bodices with buttons you can unbutton are best. Long sleeves or 3/4 length sleeves; these would be day dresses. Very very strongly prefer a gentle A line that isn't interrupted by a waist seam. Size 14, but tallish with the weight spread reasonably evenly. Autumn/winter weight, please. (I fantasize about the perfect needlecord dress.) Can't wear yellow/orange/brown/lime green/olive drab colours. Strong blues, teal, dark green, dark red, dark purple, and even black especially welcome!
And I'd love to pay less than £150 (per dress, that is!). (Not asking a lot, am I? 🙂) Suggestions?

Barclays has delayed moving UK staff from two to three office days after thousands asked for help with commuting costs, and TSB staff are reportedly preparing legal action over a similar plan. In one survey, 29% of UK office workers said a subsidised commute would get them in more often.

One side says more office days is effectively a pay cut. The other says getting to work has always been the employee's cost.

Should employers chip in, or is that just part of having a job?

I've been on the Wegovy pills since July, having battled with my weight for a long time. Over the last three months I have tracked my calories meticulously, and have not exceeded 1000 calories per day. This consists of two Protein Works meal replacement shakes, and one healthy, home cooked meal with a focus on vegetables and protein. I have stopped snacking entirely.

I've lost a steady 1lb per week. I'm very pleased. But how on earth can I sustain this long term? I've always said that 1200 calories does not result in weight loss for me. And believe me, I was MISERABLE on 1200 calories without the help of meds. I just don't understand why my body needs so little.

I'm 5ft 3 and, as of this morning, a healthy BMI at last! Would like to lose another 7-14lbs. But how on earth will I maintain it unless I want to be on these tablets for life?!

We’re going on holiday next year for DH’s 40th birthday with his parents, and he expects us to have a few date nights while we’re there, with his parents looking after our two DC (DD will be 5 and DS around 20 months).

The problem is that I don’t trust his mum to look after them unsupervised. DH thinks his parents are lovely grandparents who have never done anything wrong, and sees me as cold towards his mum.

A few examples of why I feel the way I do:

1. MIL came over with a really chesty cough when my youngest was a newborn (10 weeks). She said she’d had it for a while, but we hadn’t seen her for 3 weeks and she definitely wasn’t coughing then. Didn’t bother to warn us. DH thought it was no big deal.
2. When DD was 2, a magnet came off a toy that MIL “kindly” bought for our 2 year old, at MIL’s house. MIL’s immediate reaction was “I hope my the cat didn’t eat it!” I was sitting there thinking, what about the toddler in the house? Swallowing a magnet can be extremely dangerous. Why was the cat her first concern?
3. She once pointed at a crow and told DD as a joke “Look, Robin.” English is DD’s second language, and I find it frustrating that she introduces unnecessary confusion when DD is learning about the world.
4. She regularly places hot tea on very low coffee tables and it’s almost like a game of who gets to it first - me or one of the children burning themselves.

None of these incidents has resulted in a serious injury, thankfully. DH sees them as minor things, but I see a pattern of poor judgement and a lack of awareness around young children.

I find her incredibly frustrating, rude and inconsiderate but I have no problem with the grandparents spending time with the children when we’re there. We see them about once per month for 6-8 hours and once a year come to stay at their house for 2-3 nights. What I don’t want is to leave them in MIL’s sole care while we’re out for dinner, particularly with a baby and a young child.

DH thinks I’m being unreasonable because they’re the children’s grandparents and he wants us to have some time together on holiday. I think date nights are optional, and I’m not going to leave my children with someone I don’t trust just to make them happen.

AIBU? Would you leave your children with grandparents you didn’t trust to make sensible decisions about their safety, or would you arrange alternative childcare and accept that date nights might not be possible?

Boden Pussy Bow dresss I really love this and I have a £25 voucher which would take the price down to £64 buy I gave nothing big upcoming that would justify the purchase. On the other hand having lost 5 stone recently and sold most of my wardrobe on Vinted I don't have a lot of smart options left as I've focused on replacing my everyday clothes. So would it be versatile enough to style for daytime use and if so how. I am 5 ft 5 size 12 and can't do heels.

My sister has been in a relationship with a man since May. He used to have alcohol issues but has apparently been sober for 3 years. He seems nice and they seem happy.

We take it in turn to host Christmas and this year is our year. Everyone usually comes on Christmas Eve and goes home on Boxing Day. We have a party on Christmas Eve which includes alcohol, Christmas Day which includes drinks with dinner and a few drinks through the afternoon/evening and then a chilled out Boxing Day, which is usually a long walk with our dogs and a late lunch before everyone leaves.

My sister has requested that there be no alcohol this year due to her partner. I’m not particularly bothered as I don’t drink much, but my husband, adult children, my brother and his wife and my adult nieces would like to be able to have a drink.

I have suggested that my sister and her partner just come for Christmas dinner and we’ll have it with no alcohol, but she wants to be here for as long as everyone else. She is saying her partner is family and we should all be willing to have no alcohol for him.

AIBU to say no to her and that they can either just come for an alcohol free dinner, or accept that there will be some alcohol around due to it being our house, Christmas and other people wanting it.

I’ve seen a few threads recently and comments say “they are looking for a fight” or “it’s not worth the agro”

I guess my question is if you see someone doing something wrong where is your limit to say something?

We complain the world is going to pot and the youth of today etc. I think in the 60s / 70s it was more normal for people to call each other out. Where as today we keep to ourselves, with less of a community feel, it’s someone else problem.

Examples such as men in sports cars parking in parent / child or disabled spaces? Dropping litter. Damaging property. Using offensive language around children.

When would you say something about vs not and why?

Story about a 26-year-old civil servant who, although she had a 3-year "spotless" record, was called into a disciplinary interview without warning, about anonymous complaints of misconduct. She took her own life soon afterwards.

www.theguardian.com/politics/2026/oct/15/chloe-moffat-suicide-parents-treasury-staff

She wasn't allowed to have anyone supporting her, ffs. In other words, she got worse treatment than she would've got had she been interviewed by the police, even without an arrest. You're entitled to free legal advice. Her parents are getting a meeting with the Treasury permanent secretary, after they basically stonewalled during the inquest - presumably on legal advice.

How in God's name is this even possible in this day and age? Who do these managers think they are? And where was the civil service trade union in all of this? Her parents are getting a meeting with the Treasury permanent secretary; they want people to be held to account for what happened. Can you blame them? The Treasury have admitted this wasn't a one-off.

I worked for a long time at an NGO with similar procedures to the civil service; I've seen people crushed by "disciplinary" proceedings that are little more than kangaroo courts. I'm sick of hearing stories - both personally & in the media - about appalling management behaviour. Some people seem to think being a boss in Britain means you get to treat your staff however you want. Sickening.

So to start im 32 have two kids from a previous relationship. A year ago I met a 45 year old man who at the time was working for himself and renting a house, we got on great and all was good until the past few months. He had to leave the rental property he was in due to it being sold and he moved home to his mum. He had his own carpentry business and recently decided it wasn't doing so well so sold his work van and said he will still do odd jobs but won't be working full time that he's not fit because of back pain. All of this started to put me off because I'm a single mum but I still have a job and I have my own apartment. He recently came over to my place and asked what my future plans were for housing? I have a beautiful apartment so not sure why he asked that but I did tell him in future I'd love to build in the countryside as I have been given land by a family member and I asked what about you what are his plans for housing. His reply was not sure but I might be to old for a mortgage and he recently announced he maxed out a credit card years ago which he has no intention to repay. I was horrified because I could not sleep at night if I had unpaid debts. He had one day of work this week and I contacted him that afternoon to see how it went he said I couldn't be bothered to get up I had no energy then spoke about hating his life and wanting to go on his second holiday of the year to Thailand. I instantly got annoyed and decided enough is enough and told him I'm ending the relationship so I can find a compatible partner who actually has ambitions in life. He has since told me he will go get a full time job and can we work towards a mortgage. With his debts and unwillingness to work I don't think I should give him another chance.

When did this become a thing.
just been in an Me+Em, Jigsaw and Hobbs- just browsing.
Every other customer gets a:
”I love your jacket”
”Your jumper is beautiful, where did you get it?”
”Your shoes are amazing”.

so insincere, had to leave it’s so nauseating!

feeling old and grumpy!!!!

My partner died 9 years ago, and I only felt ready to date the past 15 months. I had to focus on my children, but now they’re 17 and 23. I met someone straight away, and that lasted 5 months, but fizzled out, then I met another man who I was with until 2 weeks sgo. He is extremely wealthy but wasn’t the best at treating me well-there was gaslighting and lying but we were very physically compatible. I didn’t feel “in love” with either of these men but enjoyed spending time with them. Now I’ve met another man and we’ve been on 7 dates but haven’t slept together-yet. He says he’s “falling for me”, and I feel the same. I haven’t felt like this since my partner died. However-he is financially insecure. I own my own home and have a pension and savings -I didn’t inherit anything as my late partner had no life insurance. I’ve worked for it myself in a stressful career. We are both in our 50s. I can’t decide whether he is drawn to me as a solution for his financial problems or likes me for myself. I can’t decide whether it’s better to stop it now before it gets more intense. Can a relationship work with a financial imbalance?

is anyone in the TWW that wants to over analyse every tiny thing and lose their marbles with me? 😂🤎

When in sixth form, my friend had an unplanned pregnancy, went into a bit of denial and by the time it emerged she was definitely pregnant it was too late to terminate. I think she was about eight months pregnant at our mock A levels and deferred the real thing until the following year.

She then went on to have two more children (same dad, not that it matters) and so her family was complete by the time she was 25. At thirty, she went to university, trained as a teacher and has been working successfully and happily ever since. Her children are now 27, 25 and 21, have all finished university, she and her DH are 45 and tbh have had a great life.

I know it sounds like I’m bitter and I’m 100% not! Shes awesome. But I was thinking about the sneery comments she had at the time this morning (I posted a birthday card to her) and now I think how well it’s gone for her. I kind of wonder sometimes if it makes sense to have your kids really young. But then not many people are in a stable enough relationship then. But if you are … I don’t know, maybe it’s something that should be considered.

I’ll go first….Two years ago I bought an electric blanket for around £150. Large, deluxe one. I honestly cannot explain how much happiness and joy this purchase has given me. I just love it so much. I think it was the best £150 I have ever spent. Couldn’t imagine life without it 😂.

What about you lot? What other joy am I missing out on in life?