As title says because the official bank holiday has been moved to Monday 28th. How will this affect your plans? A close family member now has to work on the Saturday which means not being able to be with family on Christmas Day because of travel difficulties.

My DD is 14 has been mottled for a few days, has had lots of gastric problems and a recent UTI last week after urodynamics. We have already taken her to a&e they said it's nothing to worry about but something just feels off. I am going to try get an appointment with the GP tomorrow. She has just been sleeping so much. Her antibiotics for uti finished yesterday and her blood results dont show an infection.

What worries me is the mottling is everywhere hands, legs, feet, tummy, chest. Her tummy takes 6 seconds to return to normal after pressing it, her hands and feet are around 5 seconds and her chest also about 6 seconds. The doctor in a&e yesterday said her bloods are fine so it's fine. It just cant be normal something has got to be wrong! Her feet are ice cold, even with fluffy socks on, room temp set to 22C and thick fluffy jim jams. The only place she feels warm is in the bath or shower. After that she will feel cold and cant get warm

Since Wednesday she has been exhausted out of school, sleeping from 7pm to maybe 12 noon or 1pm 18 or so hours will wake for a few hours, be thrown on the sofa. She is not going for a wee much, her normal is 15 times a day she is down to 4-5 at best. Rightly or wrongly we have put the baby cam in her bedroom to keep an eye on her. When she is awake she finds it so much hard to breathe after going up or down the stairs. Again totally not like her she plays football so is fit and mostly healthy

I just dont know anymore! I dont know what is wrong

Just caught a snippet of some confident sounding commentator on tv repeating a line that you tend to hear in all news programmes. That Burnham is personable and has charisma. That line is starting make me think that as a country, the tyranny of low expectations has really hit a new low.

First thing’s first, when did saying ‘isn’t it’ after every sentence pass for charisma. Is the bar for charisma really that low.

Second, the guy’s failed upwards into a job that he’s clearly not fit for. His answer to everything is ‘Booses’.

The economy is on fire, buses. Immigration is out of control, buses. Crime is a problem, buses. We have the most expensive energy, buses. Industry and businesses are shutting down, buses.

He’s basically a small town mayor who accidentally became the prime minister because the quality of talent in parliament is non existent. Manchester is not a small town but running buses in Manchester doesn’t make you fit to be a PM. He was a failed health secretary, failed to be Labour leader twice when he actually had to have proper fight, somehow grifted his way to a mayor job for a decade. And yes his predecessors were any better. But why all the fawning over Burnham.

AIBU to think that we are headed towards a point soon when the public turns on him. He’s utterly out of his depth and the false shine will wear off in no time. A General election is looming.

All in all, so sad to see that this is the calibre of person at the top of government. What has happened to this country that no one smart wants to go anywhere politics.

My friend is kindly hosting a night for me and two others, a girly catch up.

When suggested we agreed on getting a takeaway and consensus from earlier this week was to get an Indian, and we earmarked the specific takeaway we’d order from.

My friend hosting has messaged to say she has picked up a ‘deal‘ from the supermarket this afternoon so she has got some ready meal curries and sides and said we can sort the money out on the night.

First world problem I know, but a supermarket ready meal doesn’t really hit the spot compared to a proper Indian takeaway so I feel a bit annoyed! She didn’t check with us before.

Not somewhere I usually look as we don't have a big Sainsbury's near here with a clothing section, just the little convenience stores.

Saw they had a sale on though and ordered a few things and I'm SO impressed. Ordered this dress https://tuclothing.sainsburys.co.uk/product/tuc148498351 which admittedly is not the most fashion forward item on the planet but I was looking for a comfortable dress for holidays and smart-casual occasions. It's such good quality - really thick, 100% cotton and has pockets! £7.80 absolute bargain. Also bought a grey cardigan/vest thing which is very thick and will keep me cosy in winter.

So did I just hit it lucky or is the general quality of TU better than Asda, Tesco etc?

If I'm going out somewhere dressy - a nice bar for example - in summer I tend to wear flatform sandals. In winter I wear big chunky ankle boots. Sometimes trainers but they never feel dressy enough when my friends are all in heels. But sometimes the big ankle boots don't feel right either and I want something else. I just don't know what.

I'm short and so I feel better in something with a bit of height, which is why I tend to go for flatform sandals or trainers, or the chunky boots. I really don't like ballet flats on me - they don't suit me at all.

I think I'm looking for the equivalent of my much-loved flatform sandals but in some kind of winter form. Which don't exist.

Help!

I will go first:

TePe Interdental Expanding Floss
CCS Foot Cream
Woly Foam Leather Cleaner
Goddards Silver Cloth
Reiss Belts
JL tights with silicone grips
Magnesium for better sleep

I'm 48, on ALL the HRT, high ferritin (over 100).

Very down in the dumps. Almost empty nester. Bored out of my brain. Term time office job. No spare cash. Live rurally.

I don't know what I'm going to fill the hours with for the remaining 30yrs of my life.

I don't want to volunteer. I don't go to church and have no interest in doing so after a catholic upbringing. I can't contemplate changing job as I am always knackered and the idea of having to adapt to something new makes me feel incredibly worried and knackered in advance. Also I feel I'm getting too old for that. My memory is abysmal. HRT made no difference to remembering things.

I spent much of the school summer holidays lying on the bed avoiding the heat and staring at the ceiling or having naps.

House is on the market so zero point in gardening etc. I do all the bare minimum maintenance.

I've got no get up and go. At all. I exercise which I love and eat loads of fibre, but I find eating protein exhausting. I don't like exercise classes (hate exercising with other people) so workout at home.

I am the cook so always need to be at home in the early evenings and at weekend dinner times.

If you became an empty nester what did you do? Where do I even start? How do I pull myself out of such a dip?

I'm mid 40s. I'm remembering when I was a kid and into my teens.

l used to see tons around this time of year! Kids with "guys" and a hat open next to it for donations etc. They were really common.

I was just struggling to remember the last time I actually saw one! 🤔

Are they still a thing?

Live opposite a couple with their teenage son. Yesterday as washing up, looked up randomly as you do. Saw the three of them carrying 4 packs of 24 rolls EACH! So 288 loo rolls. So are they going to use 1 and a third rolls each per hour in the 72 hour period? Or around 4.5 sheets per min.

God there are some very thick people about

Due to the set up of our house - a 3 storey townhouse - I've let one son share my en-suite bathroom for the past few years, rather than go down to the floor below to use the bathroom.

I'm single and haven't ever been that bothered about having my own space - for most of my kids' lives we had one bathroom and I didn't even have my own bedroom.
However, he's 19 now, often moody, often wanting to be on his own (though telling me not to take that personally); and really insistent that he needs to play music or other audio to get going in the morning.

It has started to really bother me to have him going through my room and then playing music in the ensuite.

He told me he would find it very difficult to use the downstairs bathroom, for various reasons - some of which I sympathised with - so I tried to put up with it, but I have had enough now and want him to switch.

Am I being unreasonable, and more importantly, does anyone have any wisdom or compromises to offer on how to handle this?

My 20-year-old son, who is at university studying engineering, has signed up for University Officer Training. He has signed a contract and undergone a medical. We only found out last night.
He is a young man who loves Leonard Cohen, plays the guitar and enjoys building electrical systems. Now he’ll be learning parachuting, marksmanship and how to shoot at targets.
I understand the appeal. Around £50 a week, exciting training, new friendships, adventure, mountaineering, climbing and paid overseas trips. For a young person at university, it must sound like an extraordinary opportunity.
At present, these reservists cannot be deployed. But in the current climate, I am deeply uneasy about how secure that assurance really is, and how quickly this position could change.
I haven’t yet managed to speak to him properly about it. But I am deeply troubled that the possibility of a change in status, including being redesignated and potentially becoming deployable, does not appear to have been made sufficiently clear at the outset.
A quick search online suggests that there is already discussion within parts of the military about getting a greater return on the investment in training university officers by making them deployable. If that is a possibility, surely young people need to understand it before they sign a contract — not simply be told about it if the rules change later.
This is what troubles me most. A package of pay, training, adventure and belonging can be enormously attractive to a 20-year-old. But the potential obligations and risks deserve equal prominence.
I know my son is an adult, and I respect his right to make his own decisions. But I am his mum, and the thought that he could one day be called upon to serve in a conflict — when that possibility is not something we had understood to be part of the deal — is genuinely frightening. Anyone else in the same position? Any thoughts on how to navigate this with son?

I can't get on with jumpers but love sweatshirts. Any ideas for where I can buy slightly smarter looking sweatshirts (not hoodies)? I don't mean very smart, obviously, but I am going out for an informal dinner tonight with a few girlfriends and am stuck with either short sleeve tops or sweatshirts with athletic slogans all over them! Just a few that i can wear with jeans would be great. I am tall so nothing boxy and size 18 so nothing too slim fitting!

Previous thread

For you lovely, crazy folk who have followed along, incredibly we need another thread.

Obviously not all gay men. I have many gay friends who wouldn’t dream of behaving this way.

I was at a party this weekend and saw a friend I haven’t seen in a long time. He tried to grab my breasts, did grab another woman’s, and forced my hands to touch his chest. He is gay and seems to think that means this behaviour is acceptable. I had another two friends in the past, who I no longer speak to, and they would often grab their female friends’ breasts as well.

It is absolutely not acceptable. The thinking appears to be that they obviously aren’t attracted to women so therefore can paw at their bodies.

This is intended as a friendly, kind, safe, warm and fuzzy place for people to share discounts, bargains and Christmas gift ideas both online and IRL. Please note the tone and intention of the thread and join with spirit as generous as DC helping themselves to the Christmas chocolate celebrations

Here’s some useful information about how to save the thread or a specific post so you don’t need to have a message to check in for every thread so you have the thread saved:
To watch the thread - click on the little bell that has ‘watch’ under my first message. This adds the whole thread to your ‘watched threads’
You can also bookmark a specific post by clicking on the ‘bookmark’ under the specific post. This saves your exact place in a thread but doesn’t alert you to new replies.
If you have any referral links or codes, please share them on the referral thread

www.mumsnet.com/talk/christmas/5444936-bargain-referrals-thread-8

A reminder that we don't use affiliated links on here please

🎄 Emoji to copy if required for posting bargains as some agree this makes deals easier to spot.

Will request this is deleted if someone more official beats me to it or if Reastie returns!

My husband is getting more gorgeous with every year that passes. Hes really grown in to himself. Me, on the other hand am turning into my grandmother. I am a mum who works at home. Housewife we would have been called back in the day. Im in my mid 50's now and I need a glow up. I never wore make up and i think i need to start. but since many of my days are spent only in the house or caring for elderly mum i dont know when to put it on, Also whats a casual but polished style now adays with out looking like the local free P pastors wife?
i need serious help. Photo for ref. dont look quite my age yet but no idea how to dress or what to do with my face. can i have advice please Skincare regime is good and skin is clear. thanks peeps.

I love the name Naomi, but there doesn’t seem to be a standard pronunciation. I had only ever heard NAY-OH-MEE, but I started questioning if that was actually the proper pronunciation after I heard a Jewish (albeit American) person (as it’s a Hebrew name) pronounce it NYE-OH-MEE. Our first child’s name (Stella) is very simple, so we’ve never experienced any pronunciation or spelling issues before. Also, do you like the name itself? What vibes do you get from it?

Once more into the breach dear friends!!

It’s my birthday soon and I chose a vegan restaurant to eat at. It was only for me, my husband and children and they were all happy with the restaurant. It was booked weeks ago for 4.

Last weekend some of our family asked if they can join us for the meal so I asked for who wanted to come and increased the number of people on the booking. They knew it was a vegan restaurant.

Today I got a message from one of them to say that now there are more people and some don’t want to eat at a vegan restaurant, they think we should eat at another restaurant which serves non vegan food as well. I messaged back to say no and that I chose it because I like it and if anyone doesn’t want to come then to let me know so I can amend the booking again.

This person has obviously told the others and I’ve been invited into a WhatsApp group chat to discuss what we should do. 🤨 I’ve ignored joining their group chat and just sent another message saying it’s for my birthday and I picked the restaurant that suited the ones going originally, I won’t be changing the restaurant and if they want to go somewhere else they can. I’ve said I’m happy to go to another restaurant with them another time.

I’ve been told I’m inflexible and only thinking of my own needs. Is it really inflexible to want to go to a restaurant I choose on my birthday that was originally chosen and booked weeks ago for just the 4 of us? I don’t mind them coming, but I feel that they’ve tagged along and now want to change it to suit them.

Previous threads
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5576816-aibu-to-think-my-friend-is-overdoing-emergency-stockpiling?page=1
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/5585259-crisis-what-crisis-is-my-friend-over-doing-the-stockpiling-and-am-i-too-continuation-thread-2?page=1

Continuation of the AIBU to think my friend is overdoing emergency stockpiling thread for discussion about the government advice to stockpile for an imminent emergency and what the heck that emergency might actually be.

Spoiler: it's more of a perfect storm of lots of factors coming together to potentially form one great clusterfuck from economic woes, global energy shortages (mainly diesel), potential food shortages, war and madmen to crazy weather patterns rather than a clear identifiable singular thread.
This is a practical thread and a bit of a handhold thread to make sense of events and how they may affect you. This is not an end of the world thread.

Remember an emergency can range from a temporary unexpected event to a much longer crisis but the underlying principles generally stay the same.

This is the official government information and advice, if you want further details on what the actual recommendations are:
https://prepare.campaign.gov.uk/get-prepared-for-emergencies/

ROUGH STATUS REPORT (as of 9am 22nd Oct - please note this isn't fully comprehensive, and is moving FAST)
Civil Unrest reported in:
France, Italy, Greece, Belgium, Albania, Indonesia - multi reasons, but largely due to economic pressures and the cost of living
Spain has had problems but these have temporarily stopped, probably due to significant weather related issues due to the Dana effect
More protests planned for this coming weekend
High Alert in the Middle East:
Netanyahu now committed to regime change in Iran, as he believes they are developing a nuke.
The US has pulled all Embassy Staff from Saudi Arabia and is hoping no one notices that they've ordered personal and families across the Gulf home and then seem to have lied that they have.
The Emir of Qatar has stated at their equivalent of the annual King's Speech at the Opening of Parliament that war was coming and to prepare for the worst scenarios. US pulling planes out of Qatar.
The Egyptian PM has warned the country of severe crisis ahead - given the nature of the country this is related to their alliance with Saudi Arabia and their reliance on the Suez Canal which the Yemeni rebels now control access to and their exposure to famine
Iran is saying if there is another attack, the gloves are off and they'll try and wipe out the middle east oil industry as they go down, as well as hitting critical civilian infrastructure.
Much movement / noise is similar to run up to the first US attacks this year. Debate over whether the attack will come before the Israeli Election or the US Midterms - possibly within 72hours - latest mood music suggests potentially this weekend. Seems to be shifting to a when not if.
Israel election: 27th Oct
Prices and Shortages:
Diesel needs no real reminder - we need it for haulage, mass transportation and farming, we are screwed without it. Fuel Emergency declarations in West Virgina, Kentucky, Michigan, Maryland, Arizona, Nebraska and Texas - typically allowing limited dyed diesel use for ag or commercial vehicles. Illinois and Missouri have also allowed by not under emergency orders. Less reported is the fertiliser shortage and knock on effect, poor yields this year and the effect of El Nino on next years, sulphur export bans and the blockade on Ukrainian and Russian wheat exports which are particularly crucial in feeding North Africa and the Middle East. This is liable to have significant impact on the UK with 6% rises in food already expected next year (and there's every reason to believe this will be higher especially with civil unrest all over the place). Reports of aviation fuel running low in some parts of Europe with emergency supplies (which can't last forever) being used.
El Nino:
See above about farming and also think of disasters - like the ones Spain is facing with flooding. Storm Austin is incoming and there is a weather warning for the South of England with power outages and flooding possible today/tomorrow.
The Internet:
PHP is 70% of the internet. Its got compromised so it can pretty much all be hacked. This is VERY BAD (in capital letters). Many websites offline whilst this is sorted including multiple government ones around the world.
Just AI generally - everything from putting everyone out of work to just hacking and killing us all. No Biggie.
Trump and the Mid Terms:
Trump is firmly losing his marbles. He's defected to Russia, can't stop rambling about men's arses, is waving at non-existent people, his team are known to be considering ways to impose martial law, he's getting heckled at Trump rallies by his own supporters, 83% of all voters think the biggest problem in the US now isn't the cost of living crisis but government corruption. He's being called a traitor by some of his fellow Reds. Mid Terms look a disaster and Trump probably won't accept them. He's reversing bills that Congress passed weeks ago by executive order.
Mid-Terms: 3rd Nov
Ukraine and Russia:
Ukraine facing massive problems still cos Elon has got the ump. Starlink isn't working at face enough speeds. They've bombed a shedload of Data Centres in Russia. This has killed off the Russian Internet and many Trump/Musk supporters in the process (one way or another) which screws up Twitter (and its value) for them. Ukraine is getting blamed for diesel shortages cos they refuse to stop hitting Russian refineries even though it has no choice now its been cut off by the US. Zelenskyy now says Trump isn't an ally. Trump wants Zelensky gone and thinks Putin is being reasonable and Ukraine doesn't want peace. Germany states it would have activated Art5 if the confirmed Russian sabotage attack on Liepzig had been successful.
Russia is apparently planning to step up its sabotage campaign in Europe after having successfully sunk a few boats in EU waters (Romania / Bulgaria - these sinkings have been in both international waters off the coast AND within their official territorial waters).
Economy:
Lots of debt. Much concern over the implications of this particularly with regards to AI and state debt in the US, UK, France and Japan (but not restricted to). Much money put into gold by China. Background of this bad given the approach of potentially multiple crisis.
France Moody's credit review: Due tomorrow 23rd Oct - expected to be not good especially in the current political climate in France
UK Budget: 28th October

They are all interconnected and one or many could tip us into abject chaos. Or not. The risks here are sky high. Of what? Take your pick.

Hi, filed for divorce today. We have agreed for me to keep marital home (mortgage-free) and he uses inheritance money to purchase new. I'm low earner and 70% primary carer, he will pay Global Maintenance (spousal and child)- is the judge likely to view this as unbalanced in my favour? Potentially might offer a pension lump sum too, for previous years of low earning due to primary carer. Getting worried the judge will reject. We are in agreement that we will review and reduce as I start to earn more etc.

Thanks for any sharing of experiences

Welcome back all.

We rattled through the last thread and with Black Friday round the corner this one will go fast too. I hope we haven't all spent up on advents... 😂

Thank you as always to our regulars for you contributions and if you've been reading and thinking of joining come and say hello. 😊

I was really excited about these trousers before I realised they were pure plastic! I’ve have been searching for an alternative either in 100% cotton or with a bit of elastane which is hard to avoid.

Help me find wide, pleated, corduroy trousers in warm light brown, camel or honey colour. Everything I find has either no pleats or is wrong colour.

I have a first date tonight with a man I’ve never met, we started talking online. He knows I’m very into cooking/baking, and just now while texting him I told him I made some protein pancakes. He asked if he could have some, I joked back that I would make him some, and because they’re protein pancakes they will make him strong. He replied “Strong so I can lift you in bed yeah 😏?”. I’ve never even met this man before. Now I feel that expectation and pressure for sex is there now and feel less excited about meeting him. It also feels very presumptuous of him, like he thinks because I’ve agreed to a date I’m up for sexual activity. I’ve not texted back yet because I’m not sure I want to go now.

For context; I have never made any sexual remarks towards him before or him to me, we have been talking for almost two weeks. I am conventionally attractive but I am not provocative in how I dress or how I present myself online. Most of my photos online are of my travel pictures, scenery and food etc. I don’t think I do anything to invite these remarks or give off the impression that I’d be into that so prematurely, but for some reason men will always try and initiate a conversation about sex before the first date. I’m getting tired of it. Am I overreacting?