Is there an expectation that people's toilets should have an air freshener in? Like a spray air freshener?

We always have air freshener in both our toilets in case friends or family get caught short when visiting us or even to freshen the bathroom after having a wee if necessary, so I hate it if I go to a friend/family members house and they have none.

I get some people may be affected by asthma but surely if you had asthma you wouldn't use it?

We have a glade air freshener at work that sprays into the space where the wash handbasins are for example.

Welcome to Thread 7 🥳
A huge thank you to @ilovepond @OvaHere, @JoRaRaRa and @Thelifeofawife
for the previous threads, and to everyone who had been sharing spoilers, information. links, bargains, discount codes and enabling each other over the first 6 threads. ❤️
As agreed, we're taking it in turns to start each new thread this year. If this thread starts getting close to the reply limit, please post to let everyone know you're happy to start the next one so we can avoid duplicate threads.
🎅 A few festive housekeeping notes;
🎁 This thread contains spoilers.
🎄 Please be kind and respectful to one another.
💸 No judging anyone for their purchasing choices (or how many calendars they buy... we're all enablers here! 😂).
🎀 Feel free to share spoilers, offers, discount codes, GWPs, delivery updates and stock alerts.

🎁 Available Now:
Boots launch 01/09 for waitlist then 2/09 for general sale
www.boots.com/christmas/advent-calendars/advent-calendar-waiting-list
Luxe £150
beauty-detective.com/boots-beauty-advent-calendar-2026/
Scent £90
beauty-detective.com/boots-12-days-of-scent-advent-calendar-2026/
Skin £70
beauty-detective.com/boots-24-days-of-skin-advent-calendar-2026/
Liberty – £285 (Beauty Drop members receive £25 off). Full contents revealed. Beauty Drop member pre order has closed and those advents are being dispatched. The advent will go on general sale soon (BD members still qualify for the discount during the general sale)
www.libertylondon.com/uk/features/beauty/beauty-advent-calendar#
Unboxing
P. Louise – £250. Available to pre-order with payment instalments available.
^https://plouise.co.uk/collections/wonderful-world-of-p-louise-advent-calendar/products/what-glows-around-2026-advent-calendar^
John Lewis – £250. Available on pre-sale via the app for MyJL members.
^https://beauty-detective.com/john-lewis-beauty-advent-calendar-2026/^
Harrods Beauty Advent Calendar – £270. Now on sale online and in-store
^https://www.harrods.com/en-gb/p/harrods-of-london-the-harrods-beauty-advent-calendar-2026-000000000000284475^
Harrods 12 Days of Hair & Body – £99. Now on sale online and in-store
^https://www.harrods.com/en-gb/p/harrods-of-london-the-harrods-12-days-of-hair-and-body-advent-calendar-2026-000000000000284465^
Harrods Fragrance Advent Calendar – £225. Pre-sale sold out. Went on sale in-store 1/9.
^https://beauty-detective.com/harrods-fragrance-advent-calendar-2026/^
Vogue Festive Calendar – £355. Available to pre-order
^https://shop.vogue.co.uk/products/vogue-festive-calendar-2026^
Fortnum & Mason Beauty Advent Calendar - £275. Available now
^https://www.fortnumandmason.com/fortnums-beauty-advent-calendar-2026^
Fenwick 25 day beauty advent calendar - £250. Available now
https://fenwick.co.uk/products/fenwick-fenwick-beauty-25-day-advent-calendar-2026
Anthropologie 24 Day Beauty Advent Calendar – £98. Available now
^https://www.anthropologie.com/en-gb/shop/24-days-of-beauty-advent-calendar5^
The Fragrance Shop - Available for pre-order £120 members, £150 non-members
Women's Advent Calendar
^https://www.thefragranceshop.co.uk/the-fragrance-shop/the-fragrance-shop/gift-box-advent/p/76306^
Men's Advent Calendar ^https://www.thefragranceshop.co.uk/the-fragrance-shop/the-fragrance-shop/gift-box-advent/p/76307^
Selfridges
Beauty & Fragrance £250. Went on sale 1/9, but appears to be ‘sold out’ at present.
^https://beauty-detective.com/selfridges-beauty-advent-calendar-2026/^
Elle £197 or £187 if you joined the waitlist
^https://beauty-detective.com/elle-advent-calendar-2026/^
LookFantastic Beauty. Available for pre-order:
https://www.lookfantastic.com/p/beauty-box/the-beauty-advent-calendar-worth-over-665/17691363/
LookFantastic Fragrance. Available for pre-order:
https://www.lookfantastic.com/p/beauty-box/the-fragrance-advent-calendar-worth-over-530/17691405/
Glossybox. £90 or £75 for subscribers. Code: KAREN5 may give £5 off the £90. Available now:
https://www.glossybox.co.uk/p/beauty-box/glossybox-2026-advent-calendar-worth-over-645/17691528/
OK Beauty Box advent/Hannah Martin. Available now £109:
https://www.okbeautybox.co.uk/products/the-ok-beauty-box-advent-calendar?srsltid=AfmBOoppTH5x1vrf3PT8oCWpKiUj111T5PdA8IBPKCjA9SYOpugUFCBJ

Cult Beauty £245 - £20 gift voucher back when buying at launch 03/09 early access.
^https://www.cultbeauty.co.uk/c/advent-calendar/^
Harvey Nichols
Due to the recent takeover, it’s unclear if these a/cs are still going ahead for 2026. Details TBC.
Beauty:
^https://www.harveynichols.com/harvey-nichols/harvey-nichols-beauty-advent-calendar-2026-75896-258491/^
Fragrance:
^https://www.harveynichols.com/harvey-nichols/harvey-nichols-12-days-of-fragrance-advent-calendar-2026-75906-258490/^
John Lewis Fragrance £99 - appeared briefly for sale 1/9 online but this seems to have been a glitch.
^https://beauty-detective.com/john-lewis-fragrance-advent-calendar-2026/^
Space NK £275
^https://www.spacenk.com/uk/gifts/beauty-advent-calendars/beauty-advent-calendar-MUK200063764.html^
Unboxing video
Sephora UK
Spoilers:
^https://beauty-detective.com/sephora-uk-advent-calendar-2026/^
Waitlist: ^https://www.sephora.co.uk/c/beauty-advent-calendar-waitlist^
Fragrance - current thinking is that this will cost £225 and launch around 30/9-1/10
^https://beauty-detective.com/selfridges-fragrance-advent-calendar-2026/^
Next £150 launching 3/9:
^https://beauty-detective.com/next-beauty-advent-calendar-2026^/
Debenhams £120
^https://www.debenhams.com/pages/beauty-advent-calendar^
PURESEOUL £140 (first year they are doing an advent)
beauty-detective.com/pureseoul-advent-calendar-2026/
Jo Malone Waitlist:
www.jomalone.co.uk/advent-calendar-signup?
Jo Loves Waitlist:
https://www.joloves.com/pages/a-jo-loves-advent-calendar?
💄 More Calendars & Spoilers
Rather than making the opening post a mile long, here's a brilliant roundup of lots more advent calendars and the latest spoilers, including Charlotte Tilbury, Elemis, Lancôme, Tatcha, NEOM, Neal's Yard Remedies, Holland & Barrett, YesStyle and many more as they're announced.
👉 ^https://beauty-detective.com/category/beauty-advent-calendars^/ 👈

DS has his driving test this morning. His instructor has phoned 10 mins before he’s due to pick him up for his pre test lesson to say his car has a flat tyre so DS is to meet him at the test centre in his own car for the test.

Im furious but keeping calm for DS. Thankfully DH is off work today so he’s quickly going over the under the bonnet stuff with him.

This instructor has also been an hour late on 3 occasions for lessons.

Poor DS.

It was my partners birthday a couple of weeks ago and his ex wife bought him a gift from their child as she does for every occasion. The gifts she/their child got would have cost around £50-£60. His child is late primary school age. AIBU to be annoyed about this? I get that they will still buy each other stuff but I would have thought a token gift is more than enough. Like for my DS’s dad I will just get a box of chocolates or something small. They are genuinely nice gifts and things that he likes and would choose himself. I’m not sure if that’s why it annoys me so much because she clearly still knows him so well. It just feels a bit odd as I will give him gifts from our child and I will include my son in that. But then his DC gives their own separate presents after. I mean I guess that’s what they want to do so I suppose that’s the most important thing. But is that sort of money normal to spend? Father’s Day it was about the same amount and last Christmas it was a bit more. It just feels like I’m sitting there whilst he’s opening presents from another woman. Am I being totally unreasonable here? It’s making me curious to know how much he spends on her as well as tbh I don’t have a clue. But he spends less on me for Mother’s Day than when she spends on him. So I’ll be annoyed if he’s spending more. Is that unreasonable too? 😂
AIBU- yes totally normal to spend however much on ex when it’s ’from the kids’
AIBU - no that’s an inappropriate amount and I’m right to be a bit bothered by it

What age is appropriate to explain periods/menstrual cycle to daughter?

I have a 7 year old daughter and a 5 year old son. In the swimming pool changing room bathroom today they saw the free period products on the sink and asked what they are.

I gave a non committal answer in that moment because I wanted more time to think how I respond, and also we were running a bit late for their lesson.

I figure there’s no reason why I can’t tell them - it’s part of life etc. I’m just not sure of the best way to phrase it.

And I’m leaning towards tailoring the answer per child, giving my seven year old daughter a bit more info…?

So I can’t help but feel really angry about the above. So I work from home full time 8-4:30pm most days, husband usually leaves at 8am and takes our son to pre school and goes to work and doesn’t get home until after the kids are already in bed, so I generally do everything while working at the same time and I use my lunch break to pick my son up from school, this includes the kids breakfasts in the morning and my sons lunch for school as my husband gets himself ready for work in the morning. His only responsibility is feeding the dogs and taking our son, the rest is mine.

He is working from home today so it is both of us home, our 14 month old has had her morning bottle already, but we have not had breakfast yet and my husband has just made himself jam on toast while on a teams call and not thought to do any for our daughter, or myself but I can deal with him not doing me any, but my blood is boiling that he has just fed himself and not thought to do any for my daughter.

I have kept quiet for now, he is still on his meeting but how would you react/ feel about this?

I already do so much and the fact he has just fed himself has made me want to blow but not sure if I am being unreasonable. and to top it off he is eating a bag of crisps now and my little one has heard and is now winging because she wants some and now I’m left to rush to do her breakfast while I am also working.

Continuing the discussion, still interested, still not bored!

feeling heartbroken at 45!
I’ve been seeing a man (49) for around3 months. He’s been asking me out for years but I was never single until a few years ago and we finally went on a date in June. Since then we spent a lot of time together. He works abroad, I’ve been there twice and when he’s here we’re together all the time. We both say we love each other, when we’re together it’s great. The problem is that he has a problem with my past, 3 of my 4 children (22,19,17) are mixed race and he says it’s something he struggles with because he thinks I want to be with a black man and that he is inferior in bed to him (he’s not). Because of this, when he’s away he can be really horrible, like really really horrible. Saying my body’s ruined (it’s not) and that im white whore. This is always when he’s drunk but doesn’t excuse his behaviour. We had a disagreement a couple of days ago and he’s blocked me on everything. I know this is the best thing, but I’m so upset and need to know how to get over this. I’m 45 and want to be happy with someone.

I was seeing someone before him who was lovely but just too much. I wish I wanted him but I just don’t.

I had a miserable Christmas last year visiting my parents. This year we have a baby and my mother is already on that we visit them this Christmas as she wants babies first Christmas.

I said well last years was dreadful and I had an awful time, so we hadn’t made plans yet, but I am not having a repeat of that . I’ve now been accused of weaponising the baby and using him to get my own way. In actual fact I just want us to have a nice day where we can have baby at the centre of it. Because we haven’t made plans yet so I can’t say we are seeing IL my mum is saying it’s ridiculous if we haven’t get anything better to do we are being bloody minded turning down her invitation, but I’d rather us just stay at home and have the day to ourselves.

I hate this rushing to get an invite out so they get in first. I don’t know what we’ll be doing I just don’t want to see them.

Hello, can anybody give some insight into the best secondary schools for autistic children in the Lambeth area or close by? I’ve been doing my research and I’m either finding it hard to find recent reviews/feedback for autistic children or not hearing good things at all by hear say. My son will be starting year 7 next year and has low to mid support needs. Although he’s improved over the years, he still struggles a bit with communication and not getting his way which can lead to the occasional outburst and but he almost always apologises after realising his behaviour has been unacceptable. He’s takes accountability and does really well with the correct guidance in terms of his class work. He’s a very smart boy and although his current school has been lovely, I don’t think they’ve pushed him enough academically. He’s very capable but just needs the right support system.

So far, I’ve currently looked at Vanguard, Lansdowne, Platanos College and London Nautical but again not quite sure. It would be great to hear testimonials from parents whose children have an EHC plan or need SEN support that go to these schools.

Are your children happy there? Are they getting the support they need?

Does anyone have any experience with SEN needs discrimination? Our DC is in year 6 at a relatively selective school with documented slow processing and dyslexia but regularly scores 129ish in maths assessments.

He has now been moved out of the top maths set (the lower sets do less challenging work) after having a teacher who was very noticeably resistant to making SEN adjustments for him - and given those grades, (which put him in the 97th percentile nationally) the only thing I can think is they equate his slower pace with lower cognitive ability. Surely this is discrimination?

On Monday afternoon I returned to Gatwick from Barcelona airport, the thing is I require special assistance, due to mid stage Parkinson’s, I can walk difficult at times, better at other times.
My brother who lives nearby came to wait at assistance , 2 hrs early as requested , pre booked and stated on tickets, we constantly checked, I was catching a 17.30 flight, by 17.05 I was told I would have to get myself there, ( luckily reasonably small airport), spoke to a guy in authority who spoke to easyJet and allowed me to get own my flight at 17.25,.
i believe they were short staffed and were struggling to cope?

Was tired and achy! Has anyone else been let down badly like me?
Had it a few times, no issues

Has anyone purchased a puffit rain jacket before? They keep coming up on my Instagram feed and I need a new rain coat but am wary of the targeted advertising. I’d love to hear a real review!

Hello,

Looking for advice and hopefully some pics of anyone is willing to share?

My lovely aunt is installing plantation shutters in her living room. It’s a small cottage, but has a fairly deep window ledge. The three companies that have been to quote have all suggested inside mounting for the shutters, but she is considering outside mounted (as in outside the window frame), so that when open, the shutters don’t stick out.

It’s not a huge window, and she will get the bifold version - so I don’t think them sticking out is a huge issue. But do you effectively lose the window ledge - as in you can’t put things on omitting you want to regularly fully open and close the shutters?

Aware this is confusing - have attached an AI mock up of the two options.

Grateful if anyone has advice that has had to make this decision before - what did you choose?

My mum used to emotionally bully me on my appearance throughout my childhood until my 30s. I never reacted as a child but as I grew older, I started getting angry and frustrated at her but she never ever admitted it was her fault. I always got the blame for being so touchy.
Now she has started on my 21 year old daughter. I have 2 daughters. She compliments the younger one all the time but my eldest is always picked on whenever my mum sees her which isn’t often as I keep my girls away from her negativity.
Ive told her so many times to stop talking about my daughter’s appearance. I’ve even cut her off so many times. I had to tell her again today to back off talking negatively about my older daughter’s teeth. They’re lovely teeth btw.
AIBU for being so upset? Why is she repeating the same mistakes with her own granddaughter?

It’s DP’s 40th next month. We don’t normally spend a lot on each other, but obviously I’m spending more this year due to it being a big one.

I did want to get him something signed by his favourite author but I couldn’t find anything reasonably priced.

I had decided to get him a newspaper from the day he was born, a programme for his football team for a match played the weekend he was born, and a first edition of It which was released in 1986. He likes Stephen King but hasn’t read It. He loved Pet Semetary. Phantom of the Opera also debuted on his actual birthday so I was going to get a programme for that although I don’t think he’s ever been to the theatre.

However, a book signed by his favourite author has just gone on sale. The book is in Italian so he could never read it. I can’t buy both this and It.

Which would you prefer? Any other suggestions welcome too.

YABU - It
YANBU - Signed Italian book

Let me start by saying….i know.

I know what you will think.
i know what I should do, but not everything is as cut and dry I life.

i think im looking for some space to talk as i dont have anyone.

ive found some very suspicious activity on my husbands iPad. I think the thing that made me look was in his drawer i found a remote and leaflet for a sex toy. When I asked him about it he said he’d bought it for me and then thrown it away as I wasn’t ever “up for it”. Anyway I’ve since found the toy and I’m 99% sure it’s an anal one, totally not my thing, never have never will.

then ive found viagra in his wallet.

ive gone snooping on his iPad, and ive found the usual porn, fine I can handle that. But in notes there was an address and two phone numbers. When I’ve put them into WhatsApp one says a business open 24hours and the other has a profile pic which is very suggestive.
in his passwords I’ve found he has an only fans account, a fan vue account and one I’m not sure about one, it’s little password picture is an AW, possibly a website called adult work which would tie into the numbers I’ve found.

he doesn’t have WhatsApp on his iPad so I can’t see any of those messages. And I can’t access his phone.

but….we have life 360 and ring doorbell cameras etc.

now the only thing I could think is that if he’s met up then he’s left his phone at work so I couldn’t see where he was.

i know I should confront him, but I’m kinda wanting some more solid evidence.
im not sure how I can get his phone unless I take it whilst he’s asleep.

we’ve been married 25 years, have three children, mortgage, you name it!

Didn't know where to put this

I ordered a school jumper for my child from the online school uniform shop. Wore it once and washed it and second time she put it on - as she was putting it on the next bit came apart (it's v neck and that bit came apart). She wasn't doing anything rough it just came apart as she was putting it on.

Obviously this isn't right as it's the second time she's worn it. But I'm just worried that if I send it back they won't refund it because they'll say it's been washed or try to get around it and say it's our fault or something

What would you do? Do you think they'd just refund it or try to say no?
Has anyone else had this before?

I've been with my partner/on and off partner for many years and we have two children together.
He actually moved out almost a year ago. Months later he came to my house to see the children and essentially never left. There was never a conversation where I agreed that he could move back in. I never gave him permission to make my home his permanent home again.
The house is solely mine. I've repeatedly told him that I want him to leave, but he simply carries on as though I haven't said it.
He's now saying that he won't leave unless I give him £2,500. He hasn't properly explained how he's calculated that amount. He's also threatened that if I don't give him the money he'll rip out fixtures/things he's installed in my house. I don't have £2,500 and I don't think I should have to pay someone to leave a home they were never invited to move back into in the first place.
There has been a long history of horrible arguments, verbal abuse and intimidation, as well as some physical incidents in the past. More recently there have been threats, shouting and damage to my belongings. The atmosphere affects our children and both have said they want him to leave.
What makes this so confusing is that he isn't horrible all the time. This morning we had an electrical problem and he helped me sort it out. At the same time he was telling me I'm cursed, that my negative energy causes things to go wrong and that I need to pray. Then he repeatedly put his arms around me, told me he loves me, insisted I'm his girlfriend and told me he doesn't have another woman.
I've contacted domestic abuse services and have been advised to speak to an IDVA. I've also contacted the national domestic abuse helpline. So logically I know this has gone far beyond an ordinary relationship problem.
But emotionally I keep getting stuck.
I've thought about involving the police to get him out, but I think it's the finality that stops me. Part of me desperately wants my home back and wants this situation over. Another part can't bear the thought of finally ending a relationship/family that has existed for so many years. When he's nice, affectionate or helpful, I immediately start doubting myself again.
I also feel awful for my children because they're living with the uncertainty while I struggle to follow through. I keep thinking I should be stronger or should simply stop caring about him, but apparently feelings don't switch off just because you know a situation isn't right.
Has anyone experienced an ex/partner effectively moving themselves back into your home, refusing to leave and then demanding money to go? And if you still had feelings for them, how did you get yourself to the point where you actually followed through?

Bonnie Blue’s latest stunt is to post a video holding her newborn, surrounded by masked men while talking about getting back to making sexual content after having a c-section. Her baby’s onesie matches the colour of the mask worn by the men.

How this is not using a baby to promote sexual content, I do not know. It’s sickening.

I know all she wants is publicity but I sincerely hope this time she gets all the attention she deserves and her baby is taken away from her and placed with a family that can give the child the love, care and protection a child needs. The Tories have reported her to the NSPCC but why has she not been reported to the police??

Sorry, I know these have been done before but I haven’t seen one for a while and I always get inspiration from them and a dent in my purse. It doesn’t matter how cheap or how expensive. What has been the best thing you have bought this year that has improved your life? (Eg in the past it has been heated throws, steam cleaners, beauty products etc)

I'm baffled at the number of people on Mumsnet who struggle with the most basic social interactions and find making friends to be traumatic, but have found a life partner to settle down and have kids with.

A significant number of posters on here struggle with friendship or social interaction to various degrees, manifested in the extreme in the declarations that they "hate people", "don't want new friends", find friends to be too much "drama" and only want to spend time with their families. There is a classic of the genre running at the moment in which an OP has taken umbrage at a coworker making fairly mild friendly overtures to her as a gross invasion of her privacy. (But admits that she met her partner at work?) Or just at the milder end of the spectrum the huge amount of anxiety which making new friends seems to generate.

I genuinely don't understand why people who have managed to find an intimate relationship in which to have children can find the prospect of exchanging words outside the school gate or sending a text to a coworker so traumatic.

I found attracting a partner and building a relationship to be a far more fraught and involved process than making friends: there's so much more to lose, so much more vulnerability needed and the prospect of loss of face and self-esteem in the process of dating is far greater than in making friends. But texting someone (platonically) to ask if they want to have a coffee seems to spiral posters into paroxysms of self-doubt. The "school mum" threads are a whole sub-genre in their own right, where the paranoia and suspicion is often seriously irrational.

Why do people find it relatively easy to find a partner but finding friends so difficult? From my perspective it should be the other way around.

Breast feeding didn’t work out with my first and I fear it’s heading in the same direction with my newborn as it is playing out in the exact same way. For the first couple of days baby was so so sleepy I’ve only really gotten a couple of sucks out of her each time, she was impossible to wake up even after stripping down, tickling feet, lots of skin to skin.

As advised by midwife we topped up with formula using a cup or teaspoon to ensure she is getting what she needs. Thankfully this formula just got us through not needing to be readmitted to hospital due to weight loss like with our first. However she had since woken up more but now she just screams at the breast, she was very occasionally latching previously, but just not sucking, however in the last day, I can barely get her to latch let alone suck, she just gets so distressed so hasn’t been taking anything from me meaning every feed has been formula to ensure she receives something. I’ve tried lots of skin to skin, different positions and giving her some formula first to calm her initially, and offering throughout the day feeding queues or not but she just either won’t latch at all, latches and pulls off and cries after a couple of sucks, or cries and pushes away from me but nothing seems to work. The last couple of feeds we have switched to bottle as the midwife said so much was spilling from teaspoon/cup we couldn’t know how much she is getting. (Since been told cup is better to avoid nipple confusion - every midwife we speak to gives contradicting advice, it’s so confusing).

I’ve got a manual hand pump I’ve started using last night to try and keep supply up. I’ve also got a wearable electric pump but didn’t get anything out at all with that. This is exactly what happened with my first, I was trying to triple feed, baby was not making any breastfeeding improvements, I was an exhausted emotional wreck who felt like a complete failure and I made to decision to exclusively ff. This time I was so determined it would be different and to make it work but I just can’t believe this is happening again. I’m being referred to the infant feeding team but I had their support first time round and it didn’t make a difference. I just feel hopeless, Its getting worse and baby wont latch or feed at all now, despite trying every feed. Just looking to see if anyone has been in a similar situation and has successfully made breastfeeding work?

Contemplating today whether to go ahead and work with the infant feeding team again or just try to accept we will be ff again and save myself from what may end up being a pointless and emotional struggle.

As an 80s child I am so excited about this.. I have just ordered this year's advent calendar. Brambly hedge!

I don't give a crap about the leaves in the front and back garden, yes it looks lovely when all tidy but I have enough to do.
I work part time, very part time, but I do everything else, all in the house, food shop, cooking, washing, care of Dc, school runs, school meetings, bill payments, dog walks, vets, picking up dog poo, everything.
Literally the only thing I cannot be arsed doing is sweeping up all the leaves every day. I've never said it needs to be done and have never done it as don't care either way.
Dh always sweeps and sorts garden, great, it looks nice, but no one says he has to.
Second time tonight after work that he was storming around angrily, muttering under his breath about having to be the one who always does it, slamming around angrily.
The last time he made a comment, I told him outright that i'm not doing it on top of doing every other single thing in the house and with Dc.

It's because I only work a few hours.

Aibu or is he?