DH is off work for the 6 week holiday. I’ve had 2 weeks off where we went on holiday for a week and another pottering around. we are ttc and he has 2 kids from a previous relationship that live with us week on/week off.

DH has hobbies in the evenings on Mondays, Tuesday, Thursdays and Fridays. Obviously on those days on the weeks his kids are here I have to stay in and make sure there’s an adult in the house.

Dhs other hobby is video games. On Saturday and Sunday he played on it all day, and I mean all day. This week his kids are on holiday with their mum so he’s had no responsibilities. Monday was our anniversary, he video gamed all day whilst I was at work, gave me my gift and card, and then went to do his hobby until 9:30pm.

Today when I arrived home from work, he said “let’s spend tonight in my office” (his office being where his computer games are). I feel so sad that he doesn’t want to spend time with me.

And then on our anniversary night he said “turtleneckhead, I want one day where I am a total teenager. I want to game all day until the early hours of the morning. No responsibilities, no having to come down for dinner. I’ll pay for you to go to a spa that day”

Aibu to think this is very incompatible behaviour with marriage? Or am I controlling?

Hi everyone.
I need someone to calm me down or something 🤷🏼‍♀️
As the title says my gardener has been around for my monthly maintenance visit and while deweeding my raised flower bed and pulling off the ivory on the garden wall growing over from next doors garden he has found a dead rat in there. Looks like it may have been poisoned as it was intact 🤢 I’ve spoken to both my neighbours who we are friendly with to ask if they know of any issues on the street and both have said none that they are aware of, I guess I’m just freaked out where it’s came from and now I’m walking around my house checking for any entry points and hoping if they are about that they can’t actually get into my house!
Rats are my biggest fear and the thought of them has me freaking out.
Please help and put my mind at ease!

What do you do if you want child number two but your partner is dead set against it?

Our son is almost 8, but I’m really struggling with the idea of not ever having another. I don’t know if it’s my age (37) and hormones playing a part.

My partner will only have sex with me using condoms. It’s making me not want to have sex as it’s just upsetting each and every time. Especially during my ovulation.

I met a woman through a local hobby (fitness group) that I volunteer for. When she became pregnant she stopped training. We realised we live on the same street (six houses apart) and I began going swimming with her to help keep her fitness up. I don't love swimming but it was nice for the company and it meant we could share a (my) car.

She messaged after she had the baby but said no visitors. Then when baby was there months old she offered to call over so I could meet him. I was delighted, had a gift, made the place comfortable for them both. She called over and stayed four hours even thought I was feeding DC around her. I was expecting a much shorter visit and had to get firm explaining I needed to get DC ready for bed. She ate dinner and dessert too.

Then she suggested visiting again so I said yes but let's go for a walk this time with baby and stop at a coffee shop. Three times she has come then said no it's easier to just come in, I've no blanket, it's going to rain, my hip is sore. Every single time I have to ask her to leave after the visit drags on saying "I'm sorry I have things to do" repeatedly. The last time she firmly said she wouldn't as baby was sleeping and she couldn't disturb. Then when he woke up she started setting him up for feeding and I had to carry him to his carrier, open the door and walk them home.

I don't have time to sit and chat for hours. I understand she's lonely but we aren't close friends and she never actually asks me about myself or let's me talk so it doesn't even feel like a friendship developing. I feel like some sort of public service that's there to support her keep her spirits up while she can't exercise with us.

A few days ago was the final straw. She had messaged and instead of ignoring it (as she often turns up then regardless) I replied and said don't call over, I'm far too busy. She read the message. My DH then came upstairs and told me she was in the sitting room waiting for me.

I came down and quite bluntly said "I told you I was busy, so I don't know why you're here. I'll have to ask you to leave."

My DH was horrified and said to me afterwards he was very embarrassed that I would be so nasty. He walked her around with the baby and he's not off with me.

I hadn't really spoken to him about how much she was annoying me as I thought I just need to deal with it differently.

I don't know what I'm asking but I'm feeling shitty now.

I'll start with British Gas, awful company, very expensive and customer service is non existent..there is a reason they have lost a few million customers of recent years, close second place is EE for similar reasoning.

Where are all the decent men hiding?
Do you have a decent man?
Where did you find him?

I have finished watching Ann Droid on BBC and absolutely loved it. I have seen many threads on here and reddit where people are relying heavily on AI and dare I say.. are entering relationships of sorts. I always thought these people were a bit mad.. but after watching Ann Droid, my opinion has changed slightly.

Sue had an awful son. Had no real interest in his mum. He was rude, arrogant and forgetful. The day the robot was sent back he forgot his mums medication, forget it was her 50th anniversary and made fun of her having a dinner party. After moving back in, his priority was going on a date! I know its a tv series and not real however, it got me thinking... humans can be horrible and maybe thats why people are relying on AI too much. Linda didnt forget Sue's medication, she was keeping Linda busy to keep her mind off her 50th anniversary, she instantly recognised Sue was depressed... etc.

Anyway, i would have sent the son away rather than the robot. What a horrible man he was.

I'm currently looking at my wardrobe and what I might want to update it for autumn.

I'm mid50s, 5'7" and size 14.

I'm currently looking at these:

Boots
https://lanxshoes.com/collections/womens-boots/products/edgworth-brown-distressed

Jacket
https://www.marksandspencer.com/faux-leather-harrington-jacket/p/clp61227207?color=SAGE&extid=ps_ps-pla-pmax_ggl_ww_ch__-UK-_-_bau_tier1&cq_src=google_ads&cq_cmp=23464567334&cq_con=&cq_term=&cq_med=pla&cq_plac=&cq_net=x&cq_plt=gp&gclsrc=aw.ds&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=23459513439&gclid=CjwKCAjwtKrUBhAhEiwAr77ZouxSW1TOKd2eot-kyFgHD7u41KdbxQwXep71n0a8z0pK0sj6BWAaWRoCJVAQAvD_BwE

And carrot shape jeans.

What have you got your eye on?

As we go into autumn, I'm thinking of treating myself to some new jeans. What I have in mind is wide leg, high waist, dark wash so I can dress them up or down. Good quality fabric, not thin flappy stuff, because autumn. And importantly for my middle-aged spread, plenty of stretch!

At the moment I keep seeing Ninepine on my Facebook - are they a real company? I'm very wary of retailers advertised on social media after reading so many cautionary tales. But any other recommendations would also be great, I have no particular preference.

Also I'm hoping nobody is going to tell me that wide legs are out of fashion and we should all be wearing MC Hammers or something?

My mum is in hospital very ill, could possibly die in the next few days.

Husband works away. He has had a rough few days at work and got the train home - i knew he was going to be late and was having an annoying journey on the train but I got really upset when I realised he only got home at 12am because he WALKED the 45 minutes from the station. We are trying to save money but he knows I normally go to sleep by then.

He is only home until Friday lunchtime then he is off for nearly another week.

We wouldn't have had very long to talk but we could have had a good 30 mins before bed. Instead I was upset that he prioritised his de-stress over talking to me. He is angry that I wasn't very nice to him when he got in. Instead of a nice chat we had a row and now I can't sleep (and really need it).

I am feeling intensely anxious and sad about my mum. We have barely managed to talk about it as his work has been so busy. I just wanted a hug and instead I've had an angry man telling me repeatedly I'm unreasonable.

Sorry for the essay, and jumbled description- hope it's clear

yabu - let the poor man walk
Yanbu - he should have got home ASAP as it's a stressful time for you

Hi everyone! 👋 I'm currently losing my marbles and need to speak to anyone who's been in the same boat.

My nanny passed away nearly 2 years ago now and it's taken a while for her things to be settled and sold etc. My family passed me a letter today addressed to me from my sweet, beautiful nan and a cheque for nearly £12K. I've been in absolute bits all day I keep bursting into tears. I've never had this much in my life and never ever expected anything from my nan at all and it's absolutely thrown me.

The thing is I know I should be absolutely THRILLED with this money, I'm on my own with DD who's 6 now. We've just moved into a council house 2 months ago and I'm on UC top up which also covers my rent, my job doesn't pay well but it's a school job and I get my holidays off with DD. I'm panicking more than anything because I know that as soon as I cash this cheque UC are going to deduct money each month (about £120 if my maths is correct).

My family said they know nan wanted me to put a deposit down on a house, which again I know if I get a mortgage my UC stops and I'm financially liable for the payments and any repairs etc if anything goes Pete Tong.

I'm thinking about just putting most of it in a LISA for now and potentially in the future buying a house...maybe a once in a lifetime holiday with the rest. I'm just torn because if I buy a house, I'll be so much worse off than I am now getting help from UC with rent payments etc. I've just moved into this house and started decorating and making it my own. I'm worried about the money sitting there and me being so scared to spend anything while also having money deducted from my monthly payments. Again, I'm absolutely ecstatic I've got this chunk of money for security but the fact that it's going to effect me whether I spend it or not is flapping me to the core.

What do I do? Has anyone had experience with coming into money while also being on benefits? Thank youuu from a very emotional and stressed mum.

The hill that I will die on. Dogs should not be allowed in eating establishments.

Just had another lunch spoilt as a family came in with 3, yes 3, large dogs and sat down at the table beside us. It’s gross, unhygienic and anti social. If I wanted to eat surrounded by animals I’d grab a takeaway and go and sit in a vet’s waiting room.

Close to £100 wasted on a lunch where I had a dog licking it’s bumhole in my line of vision.

These were his words this morning.

We live abroad in a place where a lot of people are coming to live, escaping the uk and America.
He says with everything on the news, the way it's going and what the people coming to where we are tell him, that we'd be mad to return.
Is he being realistic? I want to return to be with family desperately and have a strange feeling that I need to do it soon

Would we be mad to return at this time? If yes, then when!

Speech & language referred to SS apparently school have raised concerns also but not said anything. Allegations are dental neglect and that his teeth “look dirty” - has weak teeth dentist visit today confirmed reduce in sugar but otherwise all dental care perfect brushing by ourselves and no issue with brushing teeth all being done as should. Required some treatment which was given but nothing out of the ordinary or extreme. Dentist said it’s just where he has has previous treatment and stains it looks “dirty” but nothing wrong. He has routine appointments we attend all and he goes to any treatments they plan.

Permanent stain on school clothes - they raised stains or marks on school jumper. Clothes always washed but has got a permanent small stain about 5mm wide on one and a couple of very light pen marks on the other.. they don’t come out I’ve tried.

Says he has a dirty neck sometimes.. he has a bath at least twice a week, usually plays outside school in the mornings before they go in with his friends in the grass on the field & also eats a breakfast pastry on the way to school and he’s not a clean eater. Could be from that but he is bathed and cleaned regularly we are not dirty people!!

Now have to wait for a SS call or visit, absolutely beside myself as he is extremely well cared for the anxiety is horrific thinking people think he might not be cared for when it couldn’t be further from the truth

Welcome to Thread 5! 🥳

A huge thank you to @OvaHere and @JoRaRaRa for the previous threads, and to everyone who's been sharing spoilers, links, bargains, discount codes and enabling each other over the first 4 threads. ❤️
As agreed, we're taking it in turns to start each new thread this year. If this thread starts getting close to the reply limit, please post to let everyone know you're happy to start the next one so we can avoid duplicate threads.

🎅 A few festive housekeeping notes;

🎁 This thread contains spoilers.
🎄 Please be kind and respectful to one another.
💸 No judging anyone for their purchasing choices (or how many calendars they buy... we're all enablers here! 😂).
🎀 Feel free to share spoilers, offers, discount codes, GWPs, delivery updates and stock alerts.

🎁 Available Now

Liberty – £285 (Beauty Drop members receive £25 off). Full contents revealed. Beauty Drop member pre order has closed and those advents are being dispatched. The advent will go on general sale soon (BD members still qualify for the discount during the general sale)
www.libertylondon.com/uk/features/beauty/beauty-advent-calendar#
Unboxing

P. Louise – £250. Available to pre-order with payment instalments available.
https://plouise.co.uk/collections/wonderful-world-of-p-louise-advent-calendar/products/what-glows-around-2026-advent-calendar

John Lewis – £250. Available on pre-sale via the app for MyJL members.
https://beauty-detective.com/john-lewis-beauty-advent-calendar-2026/

Harrods Beauty Advent Calendar – £270. Now on pre-sale.
https://www.harrods.com/en-gb/p/harrods-of-london-the-harrods-beauty-advent-calendar-2026-000000000000284475

Harrods 12 Days of Hair & Body – £99. Now on pre-sale.
https://www.harrods.com/en-gb/p/harrods-of-london-the-harrods-12-days-of-hair-and-body-advent-calendar-2026-000000000000284465

Harrods Fragrance Advent Calendar – £225. Pre-sale currently sold out. Expected back in-store during September (date TBC).
https://beauty-detective.com/harrods-fragrance-advent-calendar-2026/

Vogue Festive Calendar – £355. Available to pre-order
https://shop.vogue.co.uk/products/vogue-festive-calendar-2026

Fortnum & Mason Beauty Advent Calendar - £275. Available now
https://www.fortnumandmason.com/fortnums-beauty-advent-calendar-2026

Fenwick 25 day beauty advent calendar - £250. Available now
https://fenwick.co.uk/products/fenwick-fenwick-beauty-25-day-advent-calendar-2026

Anthropologie 24 Day Beauty Advent Calendar – £98. Available now
https://www.anthropologie.com/en-gb/shop/24-days-of-beauty-advent-calendar5

The Fragrance Shop - Available for pre-order £120 members, £150 non-members
Women's Advent Calendar
https://www.thefragranceshop.co.uk/the-fragrance-shop/the-fragrance-shop/gift-box-advent/p/76306
Men's Advent Calendar https://www.thefragranceshop.co.uk/the-fragrance-shop/the-fragrance-shop/gift-box-advent/p/76307

⏳ Coming Soon / Waitlists
Cult Beauty £245 - £20 gift voucher back when buying at launch 03/09 early access.
https://www.cultbeauty.co.uk/c/advent-calendar/

Harvey Nichols
(website is down currently due to to the company buyout but will return soon) Details TBC.
Beauty:
https://www.harveynichols.com/harvey-nichols/harvey-nichols-beauty-advent-calendar-2026-75896-258491/
Fragrance:
https://www.harveynichols.com/harvey-nichols/harvey-nichols-12-days-of-fragrance-advent-calendar-2026-75906-258490/

John Lewis Fragrance £99
https://beauty-detective.com/john-lewis-fragrance-advent-calendar-2026/

Space NK £275
https://www.spacenk.com/uk/gifts/beauty-advent-calendars/beauty-advent-calendar-MUK200063764.html
Unboxing video

Elle £197 or £187 if you join waitlist
https://beauty-detective.com/elle-advent-calendar-2026/

Boots launch 01/09 for waitlist then 2/09 for general sale
www.boots.com/christmas/advent-calendars/advent-calendar-waiting-list
Luxe £150
beauty-detective.com/boots-beauty-advent-calendar-2026/
Scent £90
beauty-detective.com/boots-12-days-of-scent-advent-calendar-2026/
Skin £70
beauty-detective.com/boots-24-days-of-skin-advent-calendar-2026/

Sephora UK
Spoilers:
https://beauty-detective.com/sephora-uk-advent-calendar-2026/
Waitlist: https://www.sephora.co.uk/c/beauty-advent-calendar-waitlist

Selfridges
Beauty & Fragrance £250
https://beauty-detective.com/selfridges-beauty-advent-calendar-2026/
Fragrance (lots of price rumours about this one - could be similar to Harrods fragrance or could twice as much)
https://beauty-detective.com/selfridges-fragrance-advent-calendar-2026/

LookFantastic Beauty
https://www.lookfantastic.com/c/waitlist/advent/?srsltid=AfmBOoovzs9M5Kt8-RM_31Q3-JOa6N51uGggpe0hglvZbxC5Of7AFTH_
LookFantastic Fragrance
https://beauty-detective.com/lookfantastic-fragrance-advent-calendar-2026/

Glossybox
https://beauty-detective.com/glossybox-advent-calendar-2026/

OK! Beauty Box £109
https://beauty-detective.com/ok-beauty-box-advent-calendar-2026/

Next £150
https://beauty-detective.com/next-beauty-advent-calendar-2026/

Debenhams £120
https://www.debenhams.com/pages/beauty-advent-calendar

PURESEOUL £140 (first year they are doing an advent)
beauty-detective.com/pureseoul-advent-calendar-2026/

💄 More Calendars & Spoilers
Rather than making the opening post a mile long, here's a brilliant roundup of lots more advent calendars and the latest spoilers, including Charlotte Tilbury, Jo Malone, Elemis, Lancôme, Tatcha, NEOM, Neal's Yard Remedies, Holland & Barrett, YesStyle and many more as they're announced.

👉 https://beauty-detective.com/category/beauty-advent-calendars/ 👈

🎅 Happy advent season everyone! 🎁
Here's hoping for lots more spoilers, bargains, discount codes, and maybe a little self-control (although that's already gone for some 😄)

I hope I’ve captured everything 🩷

Is it acceptable to wear pyjamas at home during the day? What about answering the door for parcels? Watering the plants?

I’m talking sensible shorts and t-shirt types?

There have been loads of clips of Dolly Parton interviews around and articles with quotes and the more I watch and read, the more I think she was some kind of font of wisdom. An oracle. A prophet.

Her approach to life, everything, she was like Yoda in rhinestones. Just the perfect attitude, and a long, productive, inspirational life.

”Legend” is thrown around liberally but in her case it is fully deserved.

Could someone please explain to me how Harry and Meghan’s return to the UK will work out.
They’re very unpopular with the British public.
Unless Doria moves over to the UK, Meghan has no family support.
Harry has burned so many bridges with his family.
His friends, those that are remaining, will have to choose between supporting Harry or supporting William and apparently they have had quite a aristocratic friends in common.
William will be the King so I presume he will be supported by many of those mutual friends.
Will the first cousins, George, Charlotte, Louis, Archie and Lilibet ever meet up ?
Apart from probably funerals.
Not my monkey not my circus I know, but it is a mess.

I need urgent help with severely matted hair. My teen dd is housebound, hasn’t been out for over 2 years and has severe OCD / anxiety and autism.
Her hair has become severely matted due to not washing it or brushing it. We tried to have a go at detangling it dry, it didn’t work, so looked up advice / videos online and said to try olive oil to give it enough slip…tried that, no good, tried conditioner, no good. She ended up putting a tiny bit of shampoo on the mat to get rid of some oil but then after that she was exhausted and distraught, so gave up.
With her OCD, she hates having stuff on her hair or skin, so this is like her worst nightmare.
Her hair is really long and fine, there was split which we managed to undo a bit but the rest is just swallowed up in the matted bit.
She won’t go anywhere to see a professional hairdresser and I’m finding it difficult to find someone to come to the house.
I’ve ordered some African pride moisture miracle pre shampoo and also some
cowboy detangler after looking online.
Can anyone help? Any suggestions? I’m just devastated it’s gotten this bad and I just feel awful for her. I dont want her to lose her hair, it’s literally the only bit of her she ever liked 😔

Hi

I'm getting married at the end of the year. It's second time for both of us so it's at a registry office then hotel for the reception.
I know I don't want to wear white but I'm struggling to find something fabulous that looks 'bride', not guest or bridesmaid.
It needs to be:

1. Colourful. I suit bright, jewel tones like emerald green and cobalt blue. Also black. A solid colour rather than patterned. I don't suit reds, yellows or pastel tones.
2. Fitted and structured. I'm 5ft 1 with a pear shape. My hips are wide and my lower half is chunkier than my top half. Probably a size 8 up top and a 10/12 on the bottom. I need something that really nips the waist in. I have a very short torso so the waist coming in just under the bust tends to flatter more.

Nothing floaty as I look like I'm playing dress up.

Necklines and sleeves I'm open to everything but would prefer no one shoulder dresses.

I don't mind about length but midi and short suit better than long as more fabric tends to swamp me and make my bottom half look bigger (which I want to avoid). No pockets either as they are designed to hit at my widest point.

No skirts/top combos. Really don't have the shape for them.

Please help. Budget is under £500 and id love to be able to wear it again after the wedding.

Is this too much to wear to the office? I wore it with a belt so wondering if I was over dressed?

am considering a long weekend in Oslo at October half-term. Have found a hotel that includes breakfast, dinner and fika and cheapish Ryan Air flights, although I have seen that the Ryan Air Oslo airport is about 90 minutes from the city. Anyone who has been to Oslo think it would be a good weekend trip? Any reccommendations? We would be going with children and were thinking of going to the big sculpture park, a boat trip and just a mosey around the city.

Has anyone else found that looking after themselves became the last thing on the list?
I have noticed how easy it is as a mum to focus on everyone else, meals, routines, work, family, and forget about our own wellbeing.
I have been trying to make small changes rather than aiming for perfection: drinking more water, getting outside for a short walk, making better food choices, and taking a few minutes to slow down when I can.
It’s not always easy, but even small steps seem to make a difference to energy levels and mood.
Would love to hear from other mums: what is one simple habit that has helped you feel healthier or more balanced?

Two days into my second week on Mounjaro 2.5.
Not once, since the day after my first jab have I actively thought about food. Mealtimes can come and go without it even triggering a thought in my head. I’ve already lost 5kg which is 15% of my target loss.
DH makes dinners so it miraculously appears. I enjoy it but after about a third of what I’d normally eat I’ve had enough. I then don’t think about snacks for the rest of the night.
Compared to before when food consumed my thoughts all day this is an absolute revelation.
I used to wonder how people could pace themselves at a buffet, not eat their entire plate in one go or sit with an open packet of biscuits on their desk. This must be how they feel. It’s amazing.

I’m hoping to make a few Christmas gifts this year so am looking for ideas of what I can start to do now or a signpost to places with crafty type things.

Ideally I’d like things that are food based. I know I can make sweet treats closer to the time but what can I prepare ahead.

I can also crochet (after a fashion, the scarf I’ve started is turning into a triangle 😂 so will start that again tonight). Can also sew. I’m not a very creative but can usually follow clear instructions 😂.