A few weeks ago OH (80, frail) & I met up with his daughter-in-law & grandkids to give GK#1 a 21st birthday gift & congratulate her on her law degree. I know she was disappointed to “only” have got a 2:1 but it’s from a very famous university & bloody good.

They have had their struggles: their Dad (my stepson) went AWOL from parenthood ten years ago, they were illegally evicted & homeless.
We are very proud of them.

GK invited us to her graduation (on a Friday), we talked about planning the trip & what she wanted us to wear for the photos, & DiL getting a day of work, GK#2 taking the day off school to be there.
OH & I both understood we were being asked to book the accommodation for the 5 of us & travel together.

So I booked us a flat for 2 nights - Thursday & Friday - & forwarded the confirmation asking when we could go up on the Thursday so I could book train tickets.

No reply.

Left a voicemail in case they’d missed the email.

Emailed again.

Got a scolding reply from GK#1 telling me it’s HER big day and she’s shocked, SHOCKED I booked accommodation (after we both understood we were being asked to, & checking with her whether she’d need it too) & complaining her mum is finding it hard to get time off from work (which I do not think I can be blamed for).

So I have no idea what’s going on.

i replied that of course it’s her big day & up to her who she has there, that she might forgive me if I misunderstood what she wanted, & pointed out that it’s too late to cancel the booking, but she’s welcome to use the accommodation if she wants.

I said if she wanted her granddad there she should let us know.

It’s a trek for us to get there, & not cheap: OH is blind & i cant drive, so the earlier we can book train tickets the better.

Silence since then.

What to do?

Am I unreasonable to feel rather hurt by this?

My kids are teens now but when they were tiny all of the early parenting decisions/ choices seemed so high stakes. Attachment style parenting vs routines. Breastfeeding vs ff. Cosleeping vs Gina Ford style routines. Sleep training etc etc.

For those with older DC what "style" of parenting did you do (attachment style/ routines/ more of a mix etc) and what is your child's mental health / security/ confidence etc like now? I"m not looking for research studies or opinions about these styles in theory- just your personal experience.

YABU- I think my parenting style produced the promised outcome in my DC

YANBU- I don't think any of it made any difference

DH is constantly falling asleep around 9pm after drinking. We barely have any time together and we used to have sex often but because of his sleeping pattern it’s reduced significantly.

I caught him messaging an “acquaintance” from college where he failed to mention he was married (but mentioned a lot of other stuff). He told me this was for “nostalgia”. nothing sexual in those messages but that’s where I noticed a big change. she lives in Australia so no chance of meeting up but still.

I am fed up and said there’s a lack of intimacy. He told me that he spends “all his time” with me and has reduced his drinking for me. Then said he cooked me a meal on our anniversary (but left after an hour to go the gym).

he asked what intimacy I wanted, it felt embarrassing to say I want to feel wanted by you.

he then said I don’t ever do anything romantic for him, and that I’m “not seductive”.

when I said this was hurtful he said that romantic and seductive are the same thing. But then said he would expect me to be playful and welcome him home from the gym?

I’ve already told him the messages made me feel insecure and unattractive… and now I feel like I’m not exciting enough for him.

how do I even move passed a comment like that?

In a petrol station buying a coffee at nine thirty in the morning. Looking down realised that the young woman behind me was wearing obvious pyjamas. And slippers. Then looking up to see a fluffy cream dressing gown.

I can't decide if it matters. I was brought up to believe that it shows a complete lack of self respect, and a lack of respect for anyone else, but does it, these days?

YABU. Perfectly normal wear for filling up your car.

YANBU. What is the world coming to that anyone thinks that's reasonable.

Breaking news in the Daily Mail. Duke and Duchess of Sussex's children 'removed from school after two days' mol.im/a/16130877 via https://dailym.ai/android

I do wonder if there is actually any school that will be able to meet their expectations in regard to security. I'm interested to see how it all plays out.

Hi,
I'm just wondering if anyone can shed light on CDP. I've applied for my 21 month old son who is non verbal and showing signs of ASD although where I am they won't test until 2.
I was advised to apply for Child disability payment. Today I needed to check something with them and was told a decision has been made but no letter was on the system. Has anyone else experienced this?

Thanks in advance xoxo

Welcome to Thread 8 🥳

A huge thank you to @OvaHere, @JoRaRaRa and @Thelifeofawife, @solocat

for the previous threads, and to everyone who has been sharing spoilers, information. links, bargains, discount codes and enabling each other over the first 7 threads. ❤️

As agreed, we're taking it in turns to start each new thread this year. If this thread starts getting close to the reply limit, please post to let everyone know you're happy to start the next one so we can avoid duplicate threads.

🎅 A few festive housekeeping notes:

🎁 This thread contains spoilers.
🎄 Please be kind and respectful to one another.
💸 No judging anyone for their purchasing choices (or how many calendars they buy... we're all enablers here! 😂).
🎀 Feel free to share spoilers, offers, discount codes, GWPs, delivery updates and stock alerts.

🎁 Available Now:
Boots:
www.boots.com/christmas/advent-calendars/advent-calendar-waiting-list
Luxe £150
beauty-detective.com/boots-beauty-advent-calendar-2026/
Fragrance £90
beauty-detective.com/boots-12-days-of-scent-advent-calendar-2026/
Skin £70
beauty-detective.com/boots-24-days-of-skin-advent-calendar-2026/

Liberty – £285 (Beauty Drop members receive £25 off). Now on general sale:
www.libertylondon.com/uk/features/beauty/beauty-advent-calendar#

Unboxing
P. Louise – £250. Available to pre-order with payment instalments available:
https://plouise.co.uk/collections/wonderful-world-of-p-louise-advent-calendar/products/what-glows-around-2026-advent-calendar

John Lewis – £250. Available on pre-sale via the app for MyJL members:
https://beauty-detective.com/john-lewis-beauty-advent-calendar-2026/

Harrods Beauty Advent Calendar – £270. Now on sale online and in-store:
https://www.harrods.com/en-gb/p/harrods-of-london-the-harrods-beauty-advent-calendar-2026-000000000000284475
Harrods 12 Days of Hair & Body – £99. Now on sale online and in-store:
https://www.harrods.com/en-gb/p/harrods-of-london-the-harrods-12-days-of-hair-and-body-advent-calendar-2026-000000000000284465
Harrods Fragrance Advent Calendar – £225. Pre-sale sold out. Went on sale in-store 1/9 but appears to be completely sold out:
https://beauty-detective.com/harrods-fragrance-advent-calendar-2026/

Vogue Festive Calendar – £355. Available to pre-order:
https://shop.vogue.co.uk/products/vogue-festive-calendar-2026

Fortnum & Mason Beauty Advent Calendar - £275. Available now:
https://www.fortnumandmason.com/fortnums-beauty-advent-calendar-2026

Fenwick 25 day beauty advent calendar - £250. Withdrawn due to problems with the ingredients list. When/if it will return is unknown:
https://fenwick.co.uk/products/fenwick-fenwick-beauty-25-day-advent-calendar-2026

Anthropologie 24 Day Beauty Advent Calendar – £98. Available now:
https://www.anthropologie.com/en-gb/shop/24-days-of-beauty-advent-calendar5

The Fragrance Shop - Available for pre-order £120 members, £150 non-members.

Women's Advent Calendar:
^https://www.thefragranceshop.co.uk/the-fragrance-shop/the-fragrance-shop/gift-box-advent/p/76306

Men's Advent Calendar:
^https://www.thefragranceshop.co.uk/the-fragrance-shop/the-fragrance-shop/gift-box-advent/p/76307

Selfridges
Beauty & Fragrance £250. On sale 1/9:
https://beauty-detective.com/selfridges-beauty-advent-calendar-2026/

Fragrance - current thinking is that this will cost £225 and launch around 30/9-1/10:

https://beauty-detective.com/selfridges-fragrance-advent-calendar-2026/

Elle £197 or £187 if you joined the waitlist or with MissBoux’s code available on her unboxing video:

https://beauty-detective.com/elle-advent-calendar-2026/

LookFantastic Beauty. Available for pre-order:
https://www.lookfantastic.com/p/beauty-box/the-beauty-advent-calendar-worth-over-665/17691363/

LookFantastic Fragrance. Available for pre-order:
https://www.lookfantastic.com/p/beauty-box/the-fragrance-advent-calendar-worth-over-530/17691405/

Glossybox. £90 or £75 for subscribers. Code: KAREN5 may give £5 off the £90. Available now:
https://www.glossybox.co.uk/p/beauty-box/glossybox-2026-advent-calendar-worth-over-645/17691528/

OK Beauty Box advent/Hannah Martin. Available now £109:
https://www.okbeautybox.co.uk/products/the-ok-beauty-box-advent-calendar?srsltid=AfmBOoppTH5x1vrf3PT8oCWpKiUj111T5PdA8IBPKCjA9SYOpugUFCBJ

Cult Beauty £245 - £20 gift voucher back when buying at launch 03/09 early access.
https://www.cultbeauty.co.uk/c/advent-calendar/

Harvey Nichols: Due to the recent takeover, it’s unclear if these a/cs are still going ahead for 2026. Details TBC.

Beauty:
https://www.harveynichols.com/harvey-nichols/harvey-nichols-beauty-advent-calendar-2026-75896-258491/

Fragrance:
https://www.harveynichols.com/harvey-nichols/harvey-nichols-12-days-of-fragrance-advent-calendar-2026-75906-258490/

John Lewis Fragrance £99 - appeared briefly for sale 1/9 online but this seems to have been a glitch. The calendar is either out of stock or withdrawn. It MAY reappear 21/9, (its original release date):

https://beauty-detective.com/john-lewis-fragrance-advent-calendar-2026/

Space NK £275 - available now in-store and online:

https://www.spacenk.com/uk/gifts/beauty-advent-calendars/beauty-advent-calendar-MUK200063764.html

Oh My Cream £195 with 20% off for new customers with code: WELCOME20:

https://ohmycream.co.uk//products/advent-calendar-lrnce-oh-my-cream?

YESSTYLE: $164.99 5% off with code: PAULAYES

Early access: 29/9 3am GMT
General access: 6/10 3am GMT

https://beautycalendar.com/yesstyle-advent-calendar-2026/

Sephora UK

Sephora Favourites: £235 available for pre order:

https://www.sephora.co.uk/p/sephora-favorites-advent-calendar?

Next £150 available now:
https://beauty-detective.com/next-beauty-advent-calendar-2026

Debenhams £120
https://www.debenhams.com/pages/beauty-advent-calendar

PURESEOUL £140 (first year they are doing an advent)
beauty-detective.com/pureseoul-advent-calendar-2026/

Holland Barrett: £60 - available now:

https://www.hollandandbarrett.com/shop/product/beauty-advent-calendar-6101407249?

Diptyque: £420 - available now:

uk.diptyqueparis.com/en-uk/products/advent-calendar-25-scented-treasures-xm26advent?

Jo Malone: £375 - available now;

https://www.jomalone.co.uk/product/26322/107822/gift-sets/christmas-kist-advent-calendar?

Jo Loves Waitlist:
https://www.joloves.com/pages/a-jo-loves-advent-calendar?

💄 More Calendars & Spoilers
Rather than making the opening post a mile long, here's a brilliant roundup of lots more advent calendars and the latest spoilers, including Charlotte Tilbury, Elemis, Lancôme, Tatcha, NEOM, Neal's Yard Remedies, and many more as they're announced:
👉 ^https://beauty-detective.com/category/beauty-advent-calendars^/ 👈

Sorry to mention Christmas in September!

For Christmas, family come to us on alternating years, so one year my mum, brother, sister and their partners and kids come to us and the following year my dad and his partner come to us. I have done this for my dad only, I do not like his partner.

It would have been my dads turn this year but he died in June. Since he died, I have not visited his partner but she has called and text me a few times asking for favours and money as my dad left most of his estate to me and my siblings.

Yesterday I spoke to my aunt who is my dads sister and she has told me that my dads partner is still expecting to be invited for Christmas. I will not be having her here and need a nice but firm way, if that’s possible, of telling her that.

How would you word it?

Hope I'm not tempting fate with that thread title
This is intended as a friendly, kind, safe, warm and fuzzy place for people to share discounts, bargains and Christmas gift ideas both online and IRL. Please note the tone and intention of the thread and join with spirit as generous as DC helping themselves to the Christmas chocolate celebrations .

Here’s some useful information about how to save the thread or a specific post so you don’t need to have a message to check in for every thread so you have the thread saved:

To watch the thread - click on the little bell that has ‘watch’ under my first message. This adds the whole thread to your ‘watched threads’

You can also bookmark a specific post by clicking on the ‘bookmark’ under the specific post. This saves your exact place in a thread but doesn’t alert you to new replies.

If you have any referral links or codes, please share them on the referral thread https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/christmas/5577375-bargain-referrals-thread

A reminder that we don't use affiliated links on here please (I think that's the term, let me know if I got that wrong).

If there’s anything you think would be useful or good to include in this post then please do tag me and let me know here (or DM me).

You are all wonderful and I’m now going back to my mince pie and stollen (never too early!).

My union is holding strike action for 5 weeks. For reasons that I won’t go into, I can’t strike for the full time. Can I strike for part of the time? Eg 1 day a week? Is this legal?

My family, daughter, son in law, granddaughter, son and son's girlfriend attended a family wedding today. My 32 year old son has a history of drug addiction and alcohol abuse. I thought that the habitual weed smoking was finally behind him but it seems not. He got so drunk that even before the meal had been served, he was extremely drunk. He and his girlfriend left the table. I later discover his beautiful girlfriend crying outside and son was meandering all over the grounds outside the hotel arguing with anyone who would listen about politics. Girlfriend then tells me that he is back buying bitcoin in order to get weed vapes from America. He is broke and now owes her money. He has also been on Tinder and has been messaging women, looking at porn and talking to his ex girlfriends trying to get sympathy. I have urged girlfriend to leave him (together for three years) because he doesn't love her. He is addicted to weed, alcohol, porn and lying. He can barely hold down a job. My ex husband has washed his hands of him even though he is also an alcoholic who was emotionally abusive to me for years and had been having an affair with someone he works with for quite some time before we divorced. I suspected this but didn't know it for sure until today.
I am humiliated and furious and sick to my stomach about my son. I need to detach myself from him. He will threaten suicide and try to get money out of me. I have to tolerate him in my house tonight but would it be unreasonable if me to cut all contact.....at least temporarily and maybe for good?
My mother became an alcoholic in her 70s so I have been surrounded by addicts for over half my life.

Hiya
Can anyone help me? I flew on Ryanair alone with my toddler, and they completely broke my buggy. I couldn't push it and was stranded at the airport! It was a gift from someone no longer with us but they are insisting i need a receipt/proof of purchase which i dont have. Has anyone got proof of purchase for a joolz hub +?

I'll keep it brief, my parents both died some time ago, and I can't get over this.

The estate was split with 20% going to me and 80% to my sister. She gets £160k I get £40k.

Both about the same age, both been a part of the family equally, she is wealthier than me by a large margin.

I want to cut all ties as she refuses to balance out the amounts, even a 60:40 split.

We're it the other way round I would be uncomfortable with the settlements and would rectify it, she won't.

AIBU?

Come and join me if you're starting to wonder when the food slots will go live. 👀

Last year the slots were released on Tuesday 23rd September, so they should be coming soon ...

I'm also here for any M&S Xmas food chat. The chocolate pine cones made me very happy last year. 🌲

A couple of weeks ago it started getting a bit itchy and I thought it might have been using a different soap so I changed back to my usual but no change. Then a couple of days ago when I wiped there was something that looked like a long piece of dried grass. Then last night there was another one in the toilet, about 6 cm long, flat and about 5mm wide. I was convinced I had worms but googled and they are short and thin like pieces of thread.
Any ideas? I don’t have small children and I think I have pretty good hygiene, shower every day, regularly wash my hands, clean clothes, regularly wash sheets and towels, use dettol laundry sanitizer

Hi, I need to re vamp my wardrobe for autumn/winter and need some advice on how to incorporate a bit of 'edgy chic'. I'm early 40's, 5ft 2, size 14/16 and hour glass shape with big boobs and a bit of a mum tum. I have dark hair and olive skin, so tend to suit darker/autumn colours. I need a couple of staple bits, and some clothes I can also wear for work ( casual dress code). I already have some chunky boots and a grey leather jacket. I went shopping today in local town and it was totally uninspiring!

DH is working from home and I was doing the housework, I walked upstairs as a jet went over the house so it was really loud. We don’t live on a flight path so it was unusual. I went into his office and he literally jumped out of his skin and pressed the X to hide a teams message on screen. I asked about the jet just as another message popped up on teams from a woman called Joanna - he scrabbled to press the X again as fast as possible and was as red as a beetroot. The message said “yeah, it looked better in my head hahaha”.

His whole demeanour had changed and looked hugely guilty and caught out. I asked who he was messaging to which he said no one, i again asked who it was and he said a man from work - i told him i saw it was from a woman called Joanna. I asked why he was acting like this and looking so guilty and lying - he said it’s because he knew how I’d react. I am well aware he works in a mixed team and have never taken any issue to him having work conversations with other women so this is completely gas lighting on his part. I told him this was bull shit and to bring up the messages, he refused. I asked again and he locked his screen then picked up his mobile - he has teams on his phone so I am assuming he was deleting the messages. I asked if that’s what he was doing and he dug his heels in and shouted that there is nothing going on. I told him to prove it by showing the messages, he repeatedly refused and told me no as he didn’t feel he should have to prove himself, and then wouldn’t make eye contact with me.

if that was me and the conversation was innocent, I’d have brought up the messages and demanded an apology. Everything about him screamed red flag during that situation.

ive left the house and am currently in my car in a park, shaking and feeling sick. There surely can’t be any other explanation for his reaction and refusal to prove himself innocent?

we’ve never been in a situation like this, I’ve not had any cause to doubt him in the past. Been together for 15years.

We have a close friends wedding to attend in 6 weeks. It's been booked about 6 months in advance. We've prepaid for travel, hotels, childminding and bought traditional clothing for the event. I'm in the wedding party.

Just received an invite to my SILs wedding today (DHs sister) for the same date. In 6 weeks time.
Different part of the country.

Family are all saying we have to cancel the other wedding. We are going to be out hundreds of £.

AIBU to go to family wedding instead just to make my life easier? Everyone is angry at me for even considering not going to DHs sisters wedding. I feel terrible.

I had a nasty fall on ice last winter and broke my wrist. I’m determined to be extra cautious this year. Can anybody recommend any boots with really good grip? I really don’t care what they look like. I’m a size 4, so might even be able to get away with children’s so long as they’re not pink and girly.

Also, what about the things that slip over boots for more traction - any recs for those? I won’t need to walk miles in them, just up to the shops etc.

Under £100 ideally.

My dd is in Year 13 at college. She works hard, on target for good grades and has said she doesn’t want to go to uni. She’s not sure what she’d study. But I worry about her missing out on the uni experience. 80% of her cohort are likely to go to uni following the figures college released on last year’s cohort. I worry she will be lonely as college with friends has been very very mixed and she’s not got a strong group and we live in a small town.

What does the best dressed mum at your school gate wear? And where in the country are you?

Posting in the spirit of curiosity and inspiration!

AIBU to move our family out of London to live in the town I grew up in? 3 children under 5 at the moment, so possibly imagining an easier life where getting the buggy around isn't as much of a daily challenge. We have been thinking about it as a family for a couple of years and feel completely stuck.

Points to note

• DH job is firmly London so he would be away part of the week (thinking Mon - Wed or Thursday as a pattern)
• We have a lovely little house in London BUT I am aware of the pollution here, and even walking to the park from our house involves a lot of passing traffic. Middle DC coughs at the fumes and it breaks my heart.
• The town I am from is nice and interesting (altho I haven't lived there in years) plenty going on in terms of culture and sport, good access to mountains and excellent walking/forest nearby.
• We would be able to buy a bigger house and have a much bigger garden if we left.
• We don't really have family here or in the town. Some family are overseas and location doesn't make a huge difference either way.

I guess part of it is that neither of us grew up in London, so that feels like an unknown quantity for us, and we are a bit worried about how a London upbringing might be for older primary aged children and into teen years.

I know I probably IABU but I need a little moan. My husband & I are currently in a very difficult situation with a very ill relative and we need to travel to see them urgently.

It’s all happened very quickly and as a result we are struggling to find someone to look after our dog while we are away. We have 3 children - our 2 daughters are always happy to chip in with the dog where they can when we are in a bind but my son’s wife does not like dogs and won’t have them in her house which i do understand but means our dog has to stay in the garden when we go to their house which isn’t always ideal depending on the weather etc and I know it annoys my daughters.

Anyway both my daughters have jobs with no flexibility or working from home options so can’t help on this occasion. My son is working abroad. My Daughter-in-Law is a housewife so theoretically could help but as previously mentioned she refuses to have anything to do with the dog.

I know she is perfectly within her rights and it’s our dog not hers but I’m finding it quite hard not to feel quite cross about the whole situation as I feel this is adding an additional layer of stress in already horrible circumstances.

AIBU to feel this way ?

Whilst I agree with most of this, what’s wrong with an egg in decent oil?

I'm an empty nester and separated - mid 50s.

This time next year, we're selling the family house, going our separate ways and splitting the loot - no mortgage on it anymore.

I moved out a couple of years ago into a nice flat - bliss! (Wasting money on rent, sadly, but...that's coming through my wages and am happy to do so for 2/3 years).

Anyway, for a long time I've thought of moving back to London. Haven't lived there since the 90s, but often there, tbh.

75 per cent of my work is there these days, a couple of our bigger kids live there after Uni - not sure where the youngest one will go to uni yet.

Have always been a regular visitor to London and always enjoyed it. Friends there/near.

So, I'm gonna go back there while I have still have the energy...hopefully.

Even if it's just for 2/3 years maybe.

No chance of retirement for me - freelance for 25 yrs and not much of a pension really.

Budget: 400k -ish.

Area: Zone 1 preferably. Bloomsbury would be my dream...but I may change that.

Any thoughts?

I hear flats are very difficult to sell atm...good for prices going down/cheeky offers, but that may prove a problem down the line for me.

It'd be 2k a month on rent if I took that option; I think I'm gonna buy, tbh. Big deposit, small-ish mortgage - maybe 10k moving costs inc legal and stamp duty.

Pros?

Cons?

Thoughts/experiences?

I imagine myself gadding around town from galleries to coffee shops to theatres and bars - the reality would be quite different, I'm sure, but...maybe a bit of that, come on - I can dream!

Anyway...let me know if you think I'm mad, or am onto something.

Also, buying ex local authority housing looks the best bet for space/value; my kids have lived in those flats as students for a while...any thoughts on that as a potential option?

Thanking you in advance - and apologies for the lengthy ramble.