I have recently become a grandmother, first grandchild. There is a step grandchild who is treated as my own also.

My dilemma is I just do not want is too much.

The baby is 10 weeks and I have seen him 4 times.

My son tells me to call up whenever, I am nanny I don’t need an invite. My son is working so it is just my DIL, with GC during day, whom I love

I am staying away as I have read enough threads about MIL invading DIL space if I call up.

AIBU to not visit as my DS is not there even though it means very limited seeing my GC?

There is no background history except the fact that DS was raised in council housing which she looks down on and is genuinely embarrassed by.

what do I do? Kept staying away.

All my plans at getting organised in the last thread left me as I realised the thread with referrals was already up and running, so the one I set up I'll link to once the current one runs out!

Welcome one and all to this safe, warm and fuzzy place for people to share discounts, bargains and Christmas gift ideas both online and IRL. Please note the tone and intention of the thread and join with spirit as generous as DC helping themselves to the Christmas chocolate celebrations .

Here’s some useful information about how to save the thread or a specific post so you don’t need to have a message to check in for every thread so you have the thread saved:

To watch the thread - click on the little bell that has ‘watch’ under my first message. This adds the whole thread to your ‘watched threads’

You can also bookmark a specific post by clicking on the ‘bookmark’ under the specific post. This saves your exact place in a thread but doesn’t alert you to new replies.

If you have any referral links or codes, please share them on the referral thread here

A reminder that we don't use affiliated links on here please

If there’s anything you think would be useful or good to include in this post then please do tag me and let me know here (or DM me). Also always happy to hear nominations for a thread title.

we went to a lovely restaurant earlier

I have been working hard for the last few weeks

got there and I fancied a main course only as I wasn't feeling great on the journey there. was told this was not possible as it was a set menu 90 pounds per head

not happy with that as it was not displayed anywhere on the website but said nothing

got to the table and could hear some of the waitresses saying I had asked if I could only have a main course they all looked over - I made it clear I heard them found this very rude

my girls were well behaved they had books and toys

at the end of the meal they were getting restless so I took out markers for them on their colouring books was sitting helping them and one of the waitresses who had been rude to us earlier abruptly came over to tell us they had to be put away , I snapped and said I found that to be unfair

( I should not have snapped I know this)

now I feel awful

did not leave a tip also (would normally tip very well)

feel awful now

We’re on a ferry on our way to a small Greek Island and I was checking the accommodation arrangements. I have just noticed I booked from 23-30 October not September 😮. The booking is for a week and not refundable. This is so unlike me but what a bloody idiot !

This would be for mainly wearing in the house, but might pop to the shops in it. It's not the sort of thing I usually go for but thought it would look better than pyjamas when someone pops round unexpectedly, or when I want to be comfy at home but still look stylish enough to have a guest round.

Are they stylish or are they tacky? I'm 53 if that's relevant? https://www.marksandspencer.com/modal-blend-sandwash-cropped-sweatshirt/p/clp61227265

https://www.marksandspencer.com/scuba-wide-leg-lounge-pants/p/clp61221246?color=FAWN

As the title says, I hope I am not alone in living in dread of Christmas. This rising sense of panic starts about now and ends when I load them all on the train back to London on the 27th.
I have adult children, all in their 40s. They are well off (more than I could have ever dreamed of) and have very busy jobs.
Because the DH and I are retired, it's " Oh, good news. We are coming to you this Christmas".
Now, while most parents would be overjoyed, I struggle...the reason: VEGANS.

Not just your easygoing (is there such a thing) vegan, but no onions. Garlic, chives, nightshades (whatever the hell that is), no alcohol (including in the pudding), no nuts, no flour, no dairy.
I know you will think... well, make them bring their own food, but two travel by train from London and so can't really drag everything with them.
Last Christmas I really tried; I cooked beforehand, got the local bakery to make special mince pies, the local vegan cafe did some great salads and soup.

My son sniffed at the food and said, "I can smell garlic." - I felt my heart sink as I scraped £80 worth of salads into the bin.

I realise, as friends and my DH have said, ask them what they want to eat, buy it and tell them to cook it. But it's more than that - my husband is an absolute darling of a man and loves cooking and a traditional Christmas, but he is older now and a bit precious around his kitchen. So now the kitchen will be reduced to my daughter-in-law (who I love more than my next 3 minutes of oxygen) peeling endless potatoes and getting underfoot.

My biggest problem is that I am trying so hard to make Christmas joyous, and this requires me to keep the peace all the time. My daughter-in-law is incredibly brilliant but autistic, so she has no filter and just argues with everything she does not agree with. We do not share the same political ideas but hell's teeth she will not shut up. So certain subjects such as politics, religion, food and certain jokes are off the table. My son is incredibly docile and lets her have her way. Last year my DH said that he has never felt so insulted in his own home in his life....with the picking at the food and my son spending most of the lunchtime meal on the phone to his father back home.

Thank goodness my daughter, also a vegan but much easier to please, is coming - she helps me drink a lot more than I should, so things go a bit easier. My son-in-law is a carnivore like us and super easy to please.

I know what I have to do but I'm really on here to say.....anyone feel the same or am I making a massive pain in the arse for myself.

My son has just started Reception, and I’m wondering how important it is for parents to get to know the other mums/dads.
I’m 26 and quite shy, so I sometimes feel a bit awkward around the other parents. We all wait outside the classroom and I usually just smile or say hello. Some parents don’t really respond, and sometimes I get the impression that people are looking at me or judging me, although I might just be overthinking it.
Does making friends with other parents actually make a difference to children’s friendships, settling into school or arranging playdates? Or is it completely fine to just be polite and let the children make their own friendships naturally?
Should I make more effort to get to know the other parents, or just leave things to happen naturally?

I recently picked this up and love it, it’s my colours, fits beautifully, and no cleavage, but it has gold thread running through it- is that a no for confirmation? It’s not quite party-party dress but still I’m not sure. Appreciate a lot of people won’t like it, and that’s fine, my question is solely about the gold thread.

https://www.fatface.com/style/sv080370/y57914

I just want to put that there for now, really, because this board has been just about the only place where people haven't made me feel like a strange/cruel person for saying that emergencies aside I want my DM's carers to handle her personal care (she lives with me) and I can only really get involved if it's needed at times outside of carer visits. Just been through it yet again with one of the carers this afternoon, and yet again I've been met with looks of incomprehension. It makes me feel so annoyed (especially as this never happens to men) but also ashamed that this is how petty and grudging I seem to be over some things. But feeling ashamed doesn't change the way I feel, unfortunately.

Is it reasonable for me to have this boundary (taking into account that I'd never leave my mum without personal care if she needed it), or do I just need to get over myself as a lot of people seem to think?

Sorry, just a quick vent for now as I need to see to DM now the carer's gone, but just needed to put this somewhere, just as a request for some empathy I guess, as I know some on here do understand it. (The only person who understands is DH, but of course if this ever happens to him with his mum he'll never be expected to do it anyway, being a man!) I'll add context later. Thanks for reading.

Will a tote bag be big enough. This will be instead of a handbag.
Do the airline measure this bag.
It's usually holding passport, paperwork, purse, kindle and specs.. Maybe a bikini and spare knickers.
Newspapers for DH to read.

Not sure about this one. Ravishingly shot, but …

Elinor and Edward were true to the book, but Marianne appeared to have morphed into Cathy from Wuthering Heights, Sir John Middleton into Sir John Falstaff, Lady Middleton into Mary Bennett, and the Colonel into Professor Bhaer

The never brushed hair was very distracting

Hope nobody minds me starting a new thread? I am finding it very helpful!

First Christmas of no Elf, no believing in Santa .

I need to start new traditions for the tween/teens. Any ideas on how to keep the magic?

Especially when those friends are accommodating, take an interest in your child/children and willing to work around you?
Why do you now only associate with other Mums and think that they 'just won't get it?'

Why do you let them disappear from your life since you became a mother? Whilst I understand it's hard, it's not impossible.
There are far too many martyrs around who believe they're the only person to have ever given birth, everything must now revolve around them and that nobody else can ever be tired or busy, except for them.

For context dd14 is in year 9, she’s very much all for her friends, always stuck in the middle, never starts arguments, she’s never in trouble, never had detention, most of the teachers love her, although she has a few boy best friends she’s not really into relationships just yet. Got a call today from the school, immediately my backs up because usually the only time they call me is when she’s in the medical room. No it’s a teacher singing DD’s praises, saying how she’s a pleasure to teach, etc etc. he mentioned he’s a new teacher at the school and as a father didn’t get feedback for his daughter who has just left so wanted to do it for his promising students.
so I was just talking to my mum about it, and she said to me is that the same teacher that told dd she had really nice eyes.
of course I’m like what you talking about, she never said anything. I laughed it off at first but the more I think about it, it’s a bit creepy. No? My mum defo wasn’t impressed and I’m surprised dd didn’t tell me considering she tells me everytime a teacher so much as shouts at her class. Obviously I don’t know the full story as she’s at school. I know I’ll need to keep an eye on this. I don’t know who it is, but just a bit surprised. I’m not being unreasonable to think this is slightly creepy right?

Welcome to Thread 9 🎉
A huge thank you to @OvaHere, @JoRaRaRa and @Thelifeofawife,@ilovepond,@solocat
for the previous threads, and to everyone who has been sharing spoilers, information. links, bargains, discount codes and enabling each other over the first 8 threads. ❤️
As agreed, we're taking it in turns to start each new thread this year. If this thread starts getting close to the reply limit, please post to let everyone know you're happy to start the next one so we can avoid duplicate threads.
🎅 A few festive housekeeping notes:
🎁 This thread contains spoilers.
🎄 Please be kind and respectful to one another.
💸 No judging anyone for their purchasing choices (or how many calendars they buy... we're all enablers here! 😂).
🎀 Feel free to share spoilers, offers, discount codes, GWPs, delivery updates and stock alerts.
🎁 Available Now:
Boots:
www.boots.com/christmas/advent-calendars/advent-calendar-waiting-list
Luxe £150
beauty-detective.com/boots-beauty-advent-calendar-2026/
Fragrance £90
beauty-detective.com/boots-12-days-of-scent-advent-calendar-2026/
Skin £70
beauty-detective.com/boots-24-days-of-skin-advent-calendar-2026/
Liberty – £285 (Beauty Drop members receive £25 off). Now on general sale:
www.libertylondon.com/uk/features/beauty/beauty-advent-calendar#
Unboxing
P. Louise – £250. Available to pre-order with payment instalments available:
https://plouise.co.uk/collections/wonderful-world-of-p-louise-advent-calendar/products/what-glows-around-2026-advent-calendar
John Lewis – £250. Available on pre-sale via the app for MyJL members:
https://beauty-detective.com/john-lewis-beauty-advent-calendar-2026/
Harrods Beauty Advent Calendar – £270. Now on sale online and in-store:
https://www.harrods.com/en-gb/p/harrods-of-london-the-harrods-beauty-advent-calendar-2026-000000000000284475
Harrods 12 Days of Hair & Body – £99. Now on sale online and in-store:
https://www.harrods.com/en-gb/p/harrods-of-london-the-harrods-12-days-of-hair-and-body-advent-calendar-2026-000000000000284465
Harrods Fragrance Advent Calendar – £225. Pre-sale sold out. Went on sale in-store 1/9 but appears to be completely sold out:
https://beauty-detective.com/harrods-fragrance-advent-calendar-2026/
Vogue Festive Calendar – £355. Available to pre-order:
https://shop.vogue.co.uk/products/vogue-festive-calendar-2026
Fortnum & Mason Beauty Advent Calendar - £275. Available now:
https://www.fortnumandmason.com/fortnums-beauty-advent-calendar-2026
Fenwick 25 day beauty advent calendar - £250. Withdrawn due to problems with the ingredients list. When/if it will return is unknown:
https://fenwick.co.uk/products/fenwick-fenwick-beauty-25-day-advent-calendar-2026
Anthropologie 24 Day Beauty Advent Calendar – £98. Available now:
https://www.anthropologie.com/en-gb/shop/24-days-of-beauty-advent-calendar5
The Fragrance Shop - Available for pre-order £120 members, £150 non-members.
Women's Advent Calendar:
^https://www.thefragranceshop.co.uk/the-fragrance-shop/the-fragrance-shop/gift-box-advent/p/76306
Men's Advent Calendar:
^https://www.thefragranceshop.co.uk/the-fragrance-shop/the-fragrance-shop/gift-box-advent/p/76307
Selfridges
Beauty & Fragrance £250. On sale 1/9:
https://beauty-detective.com/selfridges-beauty-advent-calendar-2026/
Fragrance - current thinking is that this will cost £225 and launch around 30/9-1/10:
https://beauty-detective.com/selfridges-fragrance-advent-calendar-2026/
Elle £197 or £187 if you joined the waitlist or with MissBoux’s code available on her unboxing video:
https://beauty-detective.com/elle-advent-calendar-2026/
LookFantastic Beauty. Available for pre-order:
https://www.lookfantastic.com/p/beauty-box/the-beauty-advent-calendar-worth-over-665/17691363/
LookFantastic Fragrance. Available for pre-order:
https://www.lookfantastic.com/p/beauty-box/the-fragrance-advent-calendar-worth-over-530/17691405/
Glossybox. £90 or £75 for subscribers. Code: KAREN5 may give £5 off the £90. Available now:
https://www.glossybox.co.uk/p/beauty-box/glossybox-2026-advent-calendar-worth-over-645/17691528/
OK Beauty Box advent/Hannah Martin. Available now £109:
https://www.okbeautybox.co.uk/products/the-ok-beauty-box-advent-calendar?srsltid=AfmBOoppTH5x1vrf3PT8oCWpKiUj111T5PdA8IBPKCjA9SYOpugUFCBJ
Cult Beauty £245 - £20 gift voucher back when buying at launch 03/09 early access.
https://www.cultbeauty.co.uk/c/advent-calendar/
Harvey Nichols: Due to the recent takeover, it’s unclear if these a/cs are still going ahead for 2026. Details TBC.
Beauty:
https://www.harveynichols.com/harvey-nichols/harvey-nichols-beauty-advent-calendar-2026-75896-258491/
Fragrance:
https://www.harveynichols.com/harvey-nichols/harvey-nichols-12-days-of-fragrance-advent-calendar-2026-75906-258490/
John Lewis Fragrance £99 - appeared briefly for sale 1/9 online but this seems to have been a glitch. The calendar is either out of stock or withdrawn. It MAY reappear 21/9, (its original release date):
https://beauty-detective.com/john-lewis-fragrance-advent-calendar-2026/
Space NK £275 - available now in-store and online:
https://www.spacenk.com/uk/gifts/beauty-advent-calendars/beauty-advent-calendar-MUK200063764.html
Oh My Cream £195 with 20% off for new customers with code: WELCOME20:
https://ohmycream.co.uk//products/advent-calendar-lrnce-oh-my-cream?
YESSTYLE: $164.99 5% off with code: PAULAYES
Early access: 29/9 3am GMT
General access: 6/10 3am GMT
https://beautycalendar.com/yesstyle-advent-calendar-2026/
Sephora UK
Sephora Favourites: £235 available for pre order:
https://www.sephora.co.uk/p/sephora-favorites-advent-calendar?
Next £150 available now:
https://beauty-detective.com/next-beauty-advent-calendar-2026
Debenhams £120
https://www.debenhams.com/pages/beauty-advent-calendar
PURESEOUL £140 (first year they are doing an advent)
beauty-detective.com/pureseoul-advent-calendar-2026/
Holland Barrett: £60 - available now:
https://www.hollandandbarrett.com/shop/product/beauty-advent-calendar-6101407249?
Diptyque: £420 - available now:
uk.diptyqueparis.com/en-uk/products/advent-calendar-25-scented-treasures-xm26advent?
Jo Malone: £375 - available now;
https://www.jomalone.co.uk/product/26322/107822/gift-sets/christmas-kist-advent-calendar?
Jo Loves Waitlist:
https://www.joloves.com/pages/a-jo-loves-advent-calendar?
💄 More Calendars & Spoilers
Rather than making the opening post a mile long, here's a brilliant roundup of lots more advent calendars and the latest spoilers, including Charlotte Tilbury, Elemis, Lancôme, Tatcha, NEOM, Neal's Yard Remedies, and many more as they're announced:
👉 ^https://beauty-detective.com/category/beauty-advent-calendars^/ 👈

Sent from my iPhone

This was just asked on Classic fm and I thought it was a great question so wanted to ask it here.

What movie/ tv series have you seen the most times?

It has to be watched it fully not having it on for the kids while you dont pay attention.

For me its the BBC adaptation of Pride and Prejudice
For dh it's white Christmas (mil loved it and it was on every year)

Someone in the UK won £110M last night and I was just thinking about how they’re feeling this morning.

All your money worries are gone, you can buy a nice house, quit your job etc.

But I wonder if those problems are replaced with new ones. Some people in your life might be jealous. Or expect handouts and get angry about who gets what.

And then your DC. Do you tell them they still need to do their homework? That they’ll still need to have a job/career one day?

I’m not saying it wouldn’t be great, I'm just wondering if it swaps one set of problems for another.

And he just thought she was really beautiful?

As the title says....looking for real people and real reviews please. Fed up of fake reviews.

I have lines on my face,normal skin.

Thanks

Housekeeping : If the thread goes down like last week it’s not anything to do with me, complaints to Site Stuff

100 posts left on previous thread but majority agreed to a weekly thread so here we are, please board the glitterbus

I’ve put NO SPOILERS but I don’t think we have an elimination this week. In any case the Spoiler Thread is here :

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/telly_addicts/5578073-strictly-2026-spoiler-thread-for-results-and-couplings?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=app_share

Cheers

KEEP DANCING

My DS has just started Reception and I’m 26. I’m quite shy, so when I see the other parents waiting outside the classroom, I normally smile and say “morning” but I don’t really start conversations.
I sometimes wonder what they think of me. Would they assume I don’t want to talk or make friends, or would most people just see it as being polite?
My DS is very social and seems to make friends quite easily, but I’m not sure how to arrange playdates when I barely know the parents. It also seems like quite a few of the parents already know each other and have their own little groups, so I feel a bit awkward approaching someone out of the blue.
If my DS starts playing regularly with another child, would it be normal to just approach their parent and suggest a playdate? Or should I try to get to know the parent first?
I don’t want my own shyness to get in the way of my DS making friendships.
Aibu

Hi All,

Caught up with one of my friends earlier today. She told me she is pregnant. Earlier than the 12 weeks, and I confessed I am too! Lovely stuff.
Then she told me she had already had an appointment with her midwife and it didn't go well, mostly because my friend told her she would like to breastfeed her baby and then made a joke about it being years to wait for a glass of wine. The midwife told my friend that the guidance has changed, she said she didn't need to wait, as soon as the baby has been born she can drink. Infact, she literally said she can drink and drink and drink until she is wasted. The caveat was though that she would need to be not too far gone so that she couldn't hold her baby - holding the baby seemed important, being drunk whilst breastfeeding her baby was completely fine. But being wasted was ok because it didn't affect the milk, was absolutely fine to be off her face.
I have my first appointment next week and I'll be asking my midwife the question. But I was always under the impression any drink would enter your bloodstream and into your milk as well as potentially affecting your milk supply.
Are we both being unreasonable to think this is not only dangerous advice but completely unacceptable?

DP and me have just had a blazing argument about the same issue and I’m wondering if I’m being a selfish idiot or whether I’m just asking for normal stuff?

have been with DP for 7 years. We broke up for a 2 month period in 2020 (covid). During that time he slept with other people and ultimately had a child from this. He wasn’t told until DSC was 9 months. We broke up again after this and got back together when DSC was 18 months. It was hard, but I love him, and I love DSC as well. There’s been hard times, with DSC mum, but ultimately I’ve always strived to maintain a sense of calm with everyone for the sake of DSC. DSC is 5.

We have DSC every Friday - Monday. Me and DP work full time. DPs first priority has to be DSC. I do understand that.

However, we are ultimately roommates at this point in time. Our schedules leave very little time in the week for anything remotely intimate, and weekends focus on DSC (as they should).

My issue is that we’ve spoken about the need to maintain intimacy and to be a couple. This weekend, we had a movie night with DSC, theme park today and a visit to my mum and dads for a roast tomorrow (all with DSC). I have zero issue with this - weekends are family time for us.

My issue is that DP said 2 weeks ago that he would see if DSC wanted a sleepover at his ninnies (GP) tonight. DSC was excited and loves ninnie. I said to DP this morning that I’d found a nice place to eat, and we would all go to his mums to drop DSC, wait until he’s asleep and then go out. DP then said he’s forgot to ask his mum. He then rung her and asked if she could mind him tonight - she had plans. Absolutely fine, it was short notice and there’s always next week/another time.

DSC bed time routine starts around 630. Calmer, more relaxing activities, usually a bath and then a bed time story. He is asleep for 715/30.

DP decided to take DSC to the shop at 6 today, didn’t get back until 7. DSC hasn’t had dinner at this point, is overstimulated and no signs of going to sleep. This is a usual occurrence on Saturdays, and he is so exhausted the next day. Bed time drifts to around 830/9.

DP said I’m unreasonable to be slightly annoyed at this because it’s “DSC weekend” and he wants to spend as much time as possible with him. I do get that.

I’m a bit upset that I was mentally preparing for a date night, and now it’s another family night. We usually end up dosing off around 9/930 as the days are so full on!

Aibu to think bedtimes should stay consistent for DSC, to keep him from being exhausted, but also to give us some adult time? Or am I being an evil stepmum? 😔

I’m 55 so colour analysis just takes me back to the eighties and nineties with women who’d bought some mail order course swathing people in shiny polyester in lots of different colours, declaring they are a “winter” or an “autumn” and recommending ghastly colours nobody sane would be seen dead in. I never had it done myself but saw it on TV and in magazines and was thoroughly put off.

It crops up quite a lot online now and I know I’m fairly clueless as to what’s suits me beyond knowing that oatmeal makes me look like corned beef. Can anyone recommend a really effective way of doing it that they have undergone and found really helpful? I don’t mind paying if necessary.