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713 replies

I'm looking for a corduroy dress, probably button through, preferably elbow length sleeves, just above knee length. It needs to be a petite fit ideally- I'm 5ft 1 and size 16. I've tried a couple from Next - a green one from m&co- sleeves too tight and restrictive and a beautiful dark red one from love and roses - too a line for me. Any ideas anyone please? Any suggestions of an alternative would be welcome. Just needs to be warmish and suitable for a nice pub lunch. Can anyone help please?

11 replies

Welcome to the 12th thread, we still have 50 days till the daily unboxing officially starts, although I very much doubt any of our calendars will remain untouched until then 😂
Still time for lots more friendly chat, tips and discount codes - to cut down on links as a poster requested, here's link to some very comprehensive run-downs of the calendars https://beauty-detective.com/category/beauty-advent-calendars/
When enjoying those breakdowns please remember that some are OOS already - Harrod's Fragrance, Harrod's Beauty and Selfridges Beauty to name a few.

Beauty Advent Calendars – Beauty Detective
All beauty advent calendars this year. Full spoilers, prices, release dates and discounts. Lookfantastic Advent Calendar, Cult Beauty Advent Calendar and many more.
https://beauty-detective.com/category/beauty-advent-calendars/
619 replies

My adult (25) stepson is a very difficult person. Since I met him 8 years ago I've seen him manipulate and lie to my DH and have heard many tales of what a difficult child and young man he has been. Excluded from schools, banned from clubs, driving bans, rude to family members. There's too much to detail here. I honestly feel he has some undiagnosed need and have only ever been supportive and open to my DH seeing him, despite how badly he treats us.
He didn't come to our wedding as he had stormed off a year or so prior saying saying we were 'dead' to him.

However, my DH for whatever reason (guilt? Although he was left alone when his wife left with my stepson) just will not deal with his awful behaviour nor prioritise our marriage when this lad is rude to me or make demands that my DH gives in to, without telling me. He recently confessed that his son punched him a couple of years ago and I found out last week through my step son (in an awful situation that DH let me walk straight into) that his Dad lent him a huge amount of money a few months ago. I reeled at this (without letting on I hadn't known out of loyalty to DH) as DH hadn't talked to me about this at the time or shared with me since, even knowing I was going to be seeing his son and, given his normal behaviour choices, he was very likely to tell me. I was shattered when I found out and we had an awful couple of days, I felt so betrayed and my DH just does not understand this. It was his money and if he had asked my advice I would in all likelihood have advised against the loan but ultimately supported him. This hurt so much.
Again, my step son has been over today and was disrespectful towards me. Again, DH did nothing, claiming afterwards that he didn't notice- it was over a 10 min period in which he was standing with us and I left the room afterwards not coming back in until he'd taken his son home. We've had another awful row and I just don't feel this marriage is worth anything. DH time and time again tries to find ways of justifying his son's behaviour and the ways in which he lets him get away with it. I have heard so many times over the years there will be no more money/visits/trips/treats etc and 'he's a changed person' that these words are now empty and DH cannot understand why I can't accept them anymore.
I can't seem to make DH understand that for us, it is not actually my step son that is the problem here, but him and his unwillingness to put us, me and our marriage first. That he won't stand up for me and put us first. I don't feel this is unreasonable as this is a grown man we're dealing with, not a child, who has never been left to really deal with the consequences of his behaviour. There's so much more to all of this but I've probably lost most readers already, so thank you if you've got this far!

What can I do? I dearly love my husband and in all other ways our marriage is good. I just don't know anymore if I can get over the lack of boundaries, consistency, support and concern for our marriage. I feel that underneath everything my husband does not value or want to protect what we have and I'm heartbroken by this. He wants to sweep it all under the carpet as ever, and I cant do that anymore.

33 replies

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Possibly very much overthinking here, but it is my daughters birthday on Wednesday (turning 9) her class normally take a sweet treat/cake in on on their birthdays, this is fine with the parents and no one has allergies (know this from several parties). I love baking but never really do it much, last year I made and took in some cupcakes, I'm a home baker but can turn out a decent cupcake, planning to do it this year again but my husband has said that I shouldn't, that it is very much attention seeking and very 'look at me" This isn't my intention at all, I have most of the ingrediants in the cupboard all ready, it'll only cost me about £4 to make 36 buns, I only have to buy the butter and some icing sugar. I have boxes already that I bought in bulk from Temu and tbh I just like baking. But I would hate to be talked about by any of the mum's, or for people to think that I'm attempting to show off, parents would see them as they are normally given out last thing. Should I just buy some shop bought cake or buns, which would cost me more money and not be as nice? I'm inclined to think that my husband is been harsh, they will look nice when done, but I reckon people will still be able to tell that they are homemade and that I haven't spent loads of money buying them. Thanks.

281 replies

I've loved charity shopping for over 30 years, but like many I've long mixed it with online second hand shopping.
The stories in this Guardian article are not new to those of us who've read threads on here, work in the shops or know people who do.
I never sell online myself and am a very mindful donatter, but my own eBay addiction and Vinted dabbling is contributing to this in a way.
Shops won't want to discourage donations, but it seems more push back on the mountains of crap is needed.

www.theguardian.com/fashion/2026/oct/13/people-sell-their-best-stuff-on-vinted-how-charity-shops-became-a-dumping-ground-for-unsellable-clothes

227 replies

Argh I’m going in circles trying to find a bag for work. I like designer bags but only have small ones. Cant afford more than £250. Dream bag would be Fendi Peekaboo.

Must be real leather, must be totey, must be cool. Happy with vintage but I can’t find anything within budget, looking at Mulberry totes of various hues.

Current front runner is https://www.michaelkors.co.uk/emilia-large-pebbled-leather-tote-bag/30F5GU5T7T.html

but I’m not a fan of the brand. I was looking at it and it’s just gone half price so feels like a sign though.

Emilia Large Pebbled Leather Tote Bag in LUGGAGE - Sale | Michael Kors [GB]
Emilia Large Pebbled Leather Tote Bag in LUGGAGE - Sale
https://www.michaelkors.co.uk/emilia-large-pebbled-leather-tote-bag/30F5GU5T7T.html
58 replies

As of last year, I started working almost entirely from home, so I no longer need to dress smartly for the office. My casual trousers currently consist of jeans and… more jeans (both slim and baggy!). My old work trousers feel far too smart for the school run, a coffee or a day working from home.

I’m a pear shape, size 8–10 on top and 10–12 on the bottom, with chunkier thighs. I tend to wear slouchy, wide-knit jumpers (think Joseph/Jigsaw/COS/Émile Sézane style) in cream, oatmeal, pink, grey and green.
I’d love some suggestions for casual, comfy trousers that still look and feel lovely with this sort of knitwear. I worked in an office until last year and I think I’m struggling a bit to find my feet style-wise now I’m not dressing for work every day. Jeans have always been my default, but they used to be easier to rotate with office clothes!

I caught myself enviously eyeing up two mums at school pickup recently who’d clearly been in work and both looked lovely and perfectly autumnal. Nothing particularly dressy, just really nice outfits that looked effortless. It made me realise I’ve lost my way a little bit and would love to feel a bit more me again.

My actual life is very much school runs, dog walks, the odd coffee, working in my home office and occasional trips to the gym. I live rurally, so a swishy city look wouldn’t really work, and I don’t want to feel overdressed for my day-to-day life.

What trousers are you wearing that strike that happy medium between comfy and casual but still feeling a bit pulled together? Particularly interested in styles that work with chunky knitwear and a pear-shaped figure. Would love any brand or outfit suggestions! 😊 budget flexible (I rarely buy anything unless a moth eats it so happy to invest a bit)

10 replies

I joined the PTA at my DC's school at the start of term and have been trying to get stuck in and help out where I can.

I've just found out from another PTA member that some of the others have apparently been making fun of me behind my back for being too keen and a try hard. She showed me a message from a group chat where they've nicknamed me Penelope Pitstop because apparently I never have a hair out of place (this is actually quite funny in itself because it categorically isn't true. The only reason they probably think this is that the days I do school drop-off are also the days I go into the office, so they see me looking reasonably presentable. They don't see my usual scruffy self the rest of the time. And, for the record, some of them are considerably more glam and polished than I am).

But that's beside the point really. I'm genuinely quite hurt by it and now I don't know what to do. Part of me thinks I should ignore it, carry on as normal and hope they eventually get over whatever their issue is. Part of me thinks I should quietly step back and leave them to it. And part of me thinks I should say something, although I absolutely hate confrontation and would rather avoid an awkward atmosphere at school if possible.

I also don't know whether knowing about it will make every PTA meeting feel horribly awkward now, even if I pretend I haven't seen the messages.

So, WWYD? Would you carry on regardless, quietly quit, or address it with them?

230 replies

Popular on Mumsnet Swears By

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Hi everyone, looking for advice from anyone who has dealt with On Hire, Winns Solicitors, Accident Management companies or Credit hire companies in the UK.

We had a non-fault accident and believed our insurer, Admiral, had referred us to a solicitor. We later discovered we’d actually called an accident management helpline and referred us to Winns Solicitors and have been given a credit hire car through On Hire, who hired it from Europcar. We thought it was a courtesy car and were reassured we wouldn’t have to pay anything if we weren’t at fault and cooperated with the claim. After being hounded to give bank statements at payslips at the end of last week, we became increasingly alarmed that our insurance company wouldn’t be asking for this and quickly realised our mistake. After researching credit hire horror stories and sleepless nights, we became worried about being pursued personally if the third-party insurer refused to pay (which is apparently common due to inflated car hire charges).

We’ve made the decision today, on day 13 of the 14-day cooling-off period, to cancel our contract with them, to stop the costs escalating to a point we wouldn’t be able to recover from should this process go on and on for months/years.

We have been told our cancellation charges are:

  • Engineer/estimate: £203.50 plus VAT
  • Storage: £48 per day plus VAT
  • Hire charges to date: £8,534.40

We could be facing nearly £10,000, which we simply cannot afford.

Our original intention after researching online, was to pay reasonable costs genuinely incurred by OnHire as Europcar’s online rate for the same car is £82 per day and the garage also told us their storage rate is £15 per day. When we returned the car to Europcar and explaining our station/distress they kindly showed us the invoice from themselves to OnHire and the rate is £580 per day! These figures seem outrageous!

We are planning to complain to the financial ombudsman about the accident management helpline referral, as we genuinely believed it was connected to Admiral but wondering if anyone has had any luck with this route for redress of compensation?

We’re not trying to avoid legitimate costs as we did have use of a car for 12 days, but we never knowingly agreed to this level of financial risk. I’m pregnant, incredibly stressed and we simply don’t have £10,000 to pay!

I'd like to get rid of our bath and install a shower cubicle which would free up some much needed storage space in our small family bathroom.

No one in our household has had a bath in years and I feel a shower cubicle would work better for us (me and two adult DC).

The master bedroom already has a small en-suite shower room which DH uses.

But I'm concerned no bath could put people off buying when we sell up in a few years time (5+ years).

Would you be happy buying a house with no bath?

149 replies

I'm fortunate to have a good relationship with my family, a loving partner and my pets, but I've always believed it's important to have your own friendships.

I have casual friends/acquaintances but I'm done striving for anything more now. Life is busy for people, that I understand and I'm certainly not expecting daily conversations, weekly meetups or anything of the sort, but I'm getting absolute breadcrumbs.

I am a more reserved personality, that does not mean I don't talk, I don't have a sense of humour or anything. I'm interested in people, I try to have a laugh, I share things about myself, I'm reliable and on time, but I'm just never the one they're drawn to.

I feel like you've got to have some sort of show-stopping personality to have close friends, and I honestly can't be bothered anymore. I have my own interests and hobbies, if I'm boring then so be it. I feel like I'm down to earth, I don't brag, but I'm not constantly negative either. It constantly feels like friendship is very transactional and conditional, people can only be bothered with what's directly in front of them and what's the easiest for them.

I've given up with the people who frequently don't reply, who never initiate first and who are always busy, I'm fed up of not being valued and getting nothing back. Anyone else? Eventually il try a new club or something, but i just feel burned out from it all atm.

59 replies

OK, I'm very prepared for people to tell me I'm being weird or to not to do this, but would it be very strange to knock on a potential new neighbour's door before buying a house?

We have moved from London to a nearby market town where everyone so far has been very friendly. We have found a house which is ideal - it is a 1930s semi, and earlier this week, our offer for it was accepted!

Now, our old London neighbours were horrible. They played loud music and had parties almost every weekend in their garden; they also did some structural work in their house without a party wall agreement. They were bullies who complained about everything - and I really mean everything - our tree dropping a few leaves on their side, the fact that we left the house too early (at 8am to go to work) but then let their dogs bark in the garden from 6pm. So, understandibly, I am very cautious about having nightmare neighbours again. And with a semi, you share a wall and see into each other's gardens etc. even though the area otherwise is very quiet.

So I thought, would it be very strange to knock on the neighbours door to say hello and introduce ourselves before the contracts are exchanged? Just to suss them out (and they might be curious about us too!)

Edit to say - if you lived in a semi where the other side was on market, how would you feel about this?

4 replies

I am mid fifties and my teeth are really yellow. I brush twice a day but I think I have probably worn the enamel as I’ve used too much whitening toothpaste

I can’t afford whitening treatment at the dentist. I’m going out on Saturday with a group of very glamorous women. Is there anything I can do between now and then to make them a bit whiter?

65 replies

Hear me out before you attack.

Currently living in rental property after splitting with ex partner. We own the home he is living in jointly.
The landlord of my rental wants to sell and I would like to buy it but the additional 5% stamp duty rate for what would count as a second home is a killer.
Are there any conveyancing solicitors who could advise on how to avoid (not evade) this extra 5%?

431 replies

Does anyone have any recommendations? Tried the brushed jersey barrel trousers from Uniqlo but they were a bit “worky”.. I want something with a flattering waist band not really bulky around the waist like jogging bottoms tend to be. Ideally in black or charcoal. Size 14.

44 replies

I have filled out the assessment for on Hair & Me and keep on getting prescribed topical minoxidil. Even though

  1. The extent of my hair thinning and loss is such that topical minoxidil is impractical - it’s all over my head
  2. Because of my hair thinning and loss the foam makes my hair greasy and therefore band makes it impossible to style with any volume. So while topical minoxidil has been helpful and contributed to more hair growth my hair always looks terrible - hence the reason for wanting oral minoxidil
  3. Other than a mildly underactive thyroid and psoriasis, I am in perfect health. Thyroxine (for the hypothyroidism) does not interact nor are there any contraindications between oral thyroxine and oral minoxidil
  4. The scalp psoriasis which I have is a contraindication for topical minoxidil hence my request that oral minoxidil be considered. I know there is an alcohol free version but this still irritates my scalp
  1. I have cats and they like to lick my hair. I have worn a hair net at night to prevent this but within an hour of being asleep it comes off.

I’m at a loss with their system. I’ve gone to their support pages and emailed them directly. They keep saying there’s a free text box option but I’ve never ever come across it.

do you have to jump through hoops of buying their topical minoxidil then telling them of the issues and then getting to oral or what’s the story? Maybe you’re not given any free text options even then?

anyone been successful at getting oral minoxidil from Hair + Me and did you have to buy their topical preparations first?

thanks

5 replies

Maybe it's a bit cliche but hey ho.

New job, met a bloke, fell in love.

We kissed on a works do (out of the blue really, we both just went for it) and since then we got closer, agreed we both enjoyed it, met up more often and got to know each other very intimately. This was about half a year after I got the job, so we weren't total strangers, just work acquaintances until the kiss.

He confided in some very dark events in his childhood which he has struggled with since, and is in therapy and medicated for. He knows I champion mental health and support him fully.

Started sending nudes to each other, then sleeping together. He'd pat my arse from time to time, we'd snuggle and kiss. We said we loved each other.

Then, the day before he goes on holiday for a week, he says he needs to take a step back and he doesn't see things working. I react as well as you'd imagine, then he's gone for a week. He comes back and says he regrets what he said and "part of him" wants to try again, but because of his past he doesn't want a proper relationship (yet). And the same day he came back and I was dreading what was going to happen, he showed me a pic of him in sexy wear on the phone. It sent a very confusing message.

Anyway three months later I sat him down and said "If it's a definite no, tell me right now" He hesitated and said it was not a definite no, and he "can't deny his feelings for me" but that his past trauma is blocking him from making a proper decision.

I am completely in love with him. To a hopeless degree. I would do anything for him. He seems oblivious to how much I feel for him. My heart flutters every time he enters the office in the morning. It hurts.

Am I being selfish?

I am one thousand percent certain there isn't another love interest behind the curtain.

87 replies

The Campaign Against Antisemitism, a prominent UK watchdog group, has identified five healthcare professionals whose public statements it considers antisemitic or anti-Israel.

The five individuals, all current or former National Health Service employees, include midwife Fatimah Mohamied, who allegedly endorsed a post supporting Palestinian “resistance” on Oct. 7, 2023 by responding “Hell yeah!!!” to a post during the Hamas-led onslaught of October 7, 2023, that said: “Palestinians have a right to resist their occupation — we have a right to support them.”

Additionally, physician Dr. Abdelaal Ragheb Elfarra claimed Zionists control the media and the world; psychiatrist Dr. Ahmed Sewehli said regarding Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu “you need to be dead”; and emergency physician Dr. Nadeem Crowe described Israel as a “terrorist octopus.” Occupational therapist Zaida Akhtar allegedly shared a video appearing to encourage violence against Netanyahu’s son and a “false flag” claim about the Bondi Beach attack in Australia last year.

The allegations concerning the medical professionals follow a review published in June by John Mann, the British government’s independent adviser on antisemitism, which found “routine ostracism” of Jewish staff and patients within the NHS.

Jewish community representatives have warned that antisemitism in healthcare can affect patients at moments of particular vulnerability.

Karen Newman, a vice president of the Board of Deputies of British Jews, described that concern during parliamentary testimony on May 14. She spoke about Jewish patients hesitating to request kosher meals after seeing a Palestinian badge on a nurse’s uniform.

“That is not a moment when you feel good asking for kosher meals,” she said.

https://www.jns.org/news/world/medical-staff-antisemitism-flagged-in-uk

466 replies

My friend is coming to visit and to stay with me Saturday - Wednesday. We have mutual friends in the area who we will also meet up with together. I go to church on Sunday mornings and it’s important to me so I’d still like to go whenever my friend is staying. AIBU? I don’t know if she’d like to come with me (she’d be welcome to) but she doesn’t have to and I’d be quite happy for her to relax at my house or for her to get the bus somewhere to do her own thing for the morning. It will only be for a couple of hours and then I’ll be home. Would it be ok for me still to go when she’s visiting?

37 replies
PeppyDenimSheep
AIBU?

I work from home one day a week (different day each week), my husband can work from home 2-3 days a week. When I work from home, he always chooses one of his wfh day's as the same as day me, so I am never at home by myself. He has done this for years and sometimes I just want a day to myself. Tomorrow I have booked annual leave as I just want a day to myself without working from home and getting calls / emails. I just want a day where I'm on my own with nobody bothering me. I had no plans for my day off, I was planning on doing nothing as I never get to do that. I have Saturday plans leading up to Christmas, Sunday's I spend doing housework and in evenings after work my husband hogs the TV so I never get to watch what I want. I know it sounds sad but I was really looking foward to a day at home by myself and I have had this day off booked for ages.

Now my husband springs on me he will also be at home tomorrow!! I told him I was looking foward to a day by myself, he said most wifes would love it if their hubsands want to spend time with them. We do Friday night date night every week and spend a lot of time together, I just wanted 1 day to myself with nothing to do. Is that bad?

90 replies

Saw a poll this week that says nearly half of us have a friend who's never on time, and about a third of people deal with it by telling that friend plans start earlier than they really do. Apparently the point where lateness tips into rude is 29 minutes.

One side says it's a harmless fix: they turn up roughly on time, nobody's left waiting, and you avoid an awkward row. The other says it's still a lie, treats a grown adult like a child, and dodges the honest conversation.

Would you do it, or just tell them straight?

214 replies