My husband naps constantly and it's starting to give me a severe ick. We've been together 10 years and married for 7. We have a five year old daughter and after lots of fertility struggles, looks like we're one and done. In the last year or two my husband has taken to sleeping almost constantly. He works away three days a week and for the four days he's back, he'll have at least two naps a day. I've tried to discuss it with him but he always says he's unwell, he had a bad night sleep etc. I honestly don't know what to do about it but when he spends the day in bed and then asks if I'm in the mood, I basically shrivel up inside. Is anyone else's husband like this?

I have 4 weddings to go to this summer, so I’m looking for a dress that I can wear to all of them.
I’ve fallen in love with this one, but is it too white/cream: https://www.theoutnet.com/en-gb/shop/product/zimmermann/dresses/midi-dresses/floral-print-lace-paneled-cotton-voile-midi-dress/46376663162888639

I wouldn’t choose white or cream accessories, and for the church wedding I’d wear a sage coloured jacket with it.

It definitely isn’t bridal, but is it still too white?

I’m not really sure where to put this, so I’ve added it as a chat.

My daughter is soon to be 18. She’s spoken to her boyfriend at length about a scrapbook she’d like to make, filled with cards and letters from all the people she loves and who love her. He messaged me to ask if I could help by collecting letters from her loved ones so he can add them to the scrapbook as one of her birthday gifts, which I thought was really thoughtful of him.

I messaged all of her loved ones yesterday — friends, family friends, family — basically everyone who loves her and has watched her grow and mature. Every single person agreed it was a wonderful idea and was happy to help. Some said they’d write a letter, and others said they’d do a longer birthday-style message.
I messaged my in‑laws yesterday and asked the same thing, and my MIL has point‑blank refused. Her response was: “It’s not our thing, so no!”

I’m really upset because my daughter is the eldest of the four grandchildren (two of them are mine and my husband’s) and the only girl. She has always been treated differently to the boys, and it’s very obvious that my son is the favourite grandchild. It’s hard to see, especially as my children are close in age and would have spent the same amount of time with my in‑laws.

As a bit of backstory: they stopped seeing my daughter when she was six months old and didn’t see her again until she was two. This was after a falling‑out, but they were never stopped from having a relationship with her.

They also chose not to come to our wedding, and the day before we got married my MIL posted a letter through our door telling my husband she’d never forgive him because she had “given him everything.” My husband was devastated, and it marred the day — not to mention everyone asking where they were. She made the day all about her, and it feels like she’s doing the same now. When my daughter opens her scrapbook, she will notice the absence of a letter from her grandparents, and it will just reinforce that she has always been treated differently.

To add, my FIL is an amazing man, and this will upset him greatly as he will have had no say in it. He has always been controlled by my MIL in every aspect of his life. Last week he actually lost his temper with her and shouted, which is completely out of character. She then spoke to my son about it and said she thinks he has dementia. I said I think he’s just had enough of being controlled.
Anyway, I’ve gone off on a tangent.

I love my daughter with all my heart, and she’s done nothing wrong. What do I say to her when she asks where the letter from her grandparents is? She loves them dearly and I don't want this to throw a wedge between them and they are coming to her party so she may well ask them there and then! She is autistic so doesn't always see the world in the way others might.

Have an event abroad where we have all been asked to wear white. It will be super hot. Love this and it’s in the sale - just struggling to picture if it will make me look like a big fat square or not? Size 12-14, 5ft 8. Average medium build? I just feel like the way it’s been styled on the model has made it really hard for me to picture?.

(I leave in 10 days and the dress I was going to wear I can’t find anywhere! Alternative suggestions welcome)

As the title says. DH away abroad with some friends. Checked life 360 this morning and showed he had spent 59 minutes in a Thai massage place. Took all the screenshots and sent a friend. It’s not on Google but on street view with a number. It’s not looking good is it??

A friend is getting married in NYC later this year. The dress code is black tie. The venue has not been disclosed and will not be disclosed until the day of the event to avoid media attention as they are within the celebrity sphere (I know them through family and am very much not from this world)
Any advice on something suitably glamorous given there may be a few A listers present and I don’t want to look out of place? I’m 5’7, size 8-10. Budget not really an issue

I have had a very intense year. I worked hard, got an extra qualification that allowed us to move into a better rental flat in a better area so my children could be in a catchment for a better secondary school. I worked 3 jobs throughout the week and then studied in cafes between them. My partner earns a good salary too but until recently we were not able to save anything at all as everything was going on bills. Now we have a tiny bit of spare money (we haven’t been in this position ever).

I have recently sold an expensive item that was gifted to me by my grandma before she passed away. It was an expensive bag really beautiful but completely useless for me and my lifestyle. I sold it for 3000 pounds. I would really like to use this money on myself this summer . I have gone through 2 pregnancies, postpartum depression, loss of my family members. sleepless nights, endless house moves and constant lack of extra money. I just want to treat myself and invest into myself after all the hard work. I feel I constantly give to others and have given up a little on how I look/dress etc. My husband doesn’t mind it at all although we could have probably used it on another family holiday instead or started saving for a house deposit.

Aibu to think that sometimes it is healthy to just treat yourself. Also if you had a spare 3000 what would you do for yourself?. On my wish list is some nice higher quality clothes that I can mix and match easily and look simple but stylish, a new haircut and a high quality dentist to get my front 2 slightly chipped teeth bonded and teeth whitening.

What would you think if you saw this on the beach? Should I keep covering my scars? I don’t want to upset anyone. I‘ve been wearing board shorts for many years but hate the tan line.

Thank you all a million for continuing to support me, it means everything to me.

If you had to provide snacks in a rented home for 4 days for 30 people and wanted them to be really inexpensive what would you choose?

Context: family rental for 4 days in October the cost covered by the invitees.

We have been allocated snacks for 4 days as our contribution and we are trying to disguise that we have a very very small budget. Financially we are really struggling. The exact brief was a 'snack basket for each room'

There are three main meals a day, but from seeing what people are planning for these some are really light. Yogurt and fruits for breakfast and sandwiches for lunch. We are in charge of the snacks so expect people maybe hungry.

Looking for really cheap and filling snacks. We have more time than money so we can shop from multiple stores.

What sort of budget should we set aside and what would you recommend?

New thread for all of us with lovely Y11s to support them and us through the coming weeks.

I once asked a member of the Senior Team if she had dyed her hair.
Apparently this was very rude.

Hi all,
been a silent lurker but now need advice or to be told ‘ you are being unreasonable’

We (partner and 3 children) own a lovely home and both wok hard and have a presentable home because of this.
In my partners culture they often bring their parents in with them, to give a multigenerational upbringing to their children. My MIL is lovely, can’t do any more for us and is the best you could wish for, however, we have built her a garden house (like a static caravan) and she is slowly wrecking it. She is a hoarder (always has been but we never visited her, she always done the visiting) and is making our home embarrassing. She leaves rubbish/food/dirt everywhere, parks her car whenever she likes rather than considerately often blocking us in or out and is just very very lazy so buys lots of food and items, never packs them away, then goes and buys more. Doesn’t sweep, lets food rot, you name it!

She doesn’t pay anything to contribute and has the family home she is renting out, although she is in her 70’s so managed by her children she receives the finances. Everytime we go in the garden, i’m met with rubbish and smells which wasn’t a problem before she moved in, making me now not want to go outside which inadvertently means she takes up ‘more’ space as it’s unused. I’m talking filled bin bags that haven’t found the big bin yet, but then get ripped and go everywhere.

if I had my way, she would move out. i’ve tried being nice and telling her to clean, DH has also although he is a people pleaser. She is a hoarder and genuinely see’s no wrong with how she lives.

YABU- it’s his mum and his culture, don’t argue try and live with it
YANBU- ifs your home she has moved into. She needs to live how you do….

Thanks

The other day in the supermarket, I spotted something bizarre: a 12-pack and an 8-pack of the exact same sausages, both priced identical. Naturally, you’d grab the 12-pack, right? Everyone else was doing just that. I kept wondering why on earth they’d cost the same, and felt a bit sorry for the 8-packs just sitting there going to waste.

But when I got home and mentioned it, my youngest—who is currently being encouraged to apply for Oxford and Cambridge next year—solved my sausage mystery in a matter of seconds. Am I just being a bit thick?

I mean those of us in our late 30s/40s and beyond, in a long term relationship/ marriage and in the small child era. What is your secret? Clearly if you’re reading this age 22 and have been with your boyfriend for a year you don’t need a secret 😅

I don’t have a bad marriage (but it’s not wildly great either) but after 15 + years together and 2 invasive and whiny children under 5, the chemistry is zero. There is no passion. I want it back but it just feels like there’s so much “STUFF” between us, we have no privacy from the kids, it’s a buzz kill for me. I simultaneously want to switch off, completely let go and lose all the thoughts in my head but can’t and I’m so uptight, and so bored and frustrated all at once. 😮‍💨 is this inevitable or has anyone managed to keep the passion alive?

BACK STORY - ONLY READ IF YOU'RE INTERESTED - It's my daughter's graduation (MSc) in July. The last time I officially saw my (stbex)H was almost 2 years ago at her BSc graduation which fell exactly a month after him informing me that he no longer loved me and was leaving me after 33 years together (26 married) for a much younger Thai lady with smaller boobs, and a smaller bum! (Purely for a historical correctness I did see him month later for the same daughter's 21st where, unfortunately, I begged him to reconsider)😳😥. When I got home I swore I
a) would never do that again (and haven't)
b) wouldn't see him again - unreasonable cos of our kids but have insisted on it so far!

It's now DD2's second graduation. She has 3 tickets. I've said that unfortunately whilst I am definitely getting there I'm still not ready to go through that again. Equally, despite both of us trying really hard, she really felt the tension at her first graduation and doesn't want to have to go through that again either.

I've backed out and said to let her father have the day (he works in Iraq - though obviously not at the moment) so she doesn't get to see him that often and I am doing my best to accommodate etc and actually we've reached a point where we co-parent via text really well (So I do the bulk but he occasionally steps in - but having been the child of divorced parents I have reinforced, to our kids, that they must have time with their father and that both of us love them). But she wants us both. So instead I've suggested that she spend the day with him and I will sneak in and watch her graduate. She's agreed to this. BUT this IS NOT AN AIBU - I am getting there but am frustrated at how slow this all is - I was really. blindsided by it all. It doesn't help that we're still not divorced (he's fighting everything) and thus I'm still in limbo hell.

READ FROM HERE FOR HELPING ME FIND AN OUTFIT.
I need something that makes me believe I look like a million pounds. I will be 57 on the day and am 5ft 3 with a very short torso (so no outfits that are belted around the waist as they simply don't suit me). I have large breasts (30 GG) which can easily look awful (having breast fed 4 kids I HAVE to wear a bra as they now point almost straight down). This means I look good in Empire Line OR body form.

Being short means that many midi dresses are actually maxi on me, but I'm good at hemming. I bought this:

Which made me feel wonderful. But it appears a) she's mortified/horrified as someone my age shouldn't be wearing this (so obviously felt I looked like mutton) and b) she's wearing either yellow or green. She's actually gone and bought something almost identical.

With the currently sunshine (hopefully) I tan very easily and am going olive skinned.

My budget is a maximum of £150.00

I really can't find anything that will make me feel wonderful.

A bit of a whinge really and wondering if it is the same for other people. I find sandals so bloody hard to find.

Criteria
Leather
Comfortable
Look stylish - not orthopaedic or for the very elderly
Absolutely no velcro
Can't have a solid strap across the toes, as I have skinny feet and they are always too wide
Ankle or heel strap needed
No wedge heels
No high heels
Not completely flat either
No toe posts
No studs, sequins or anything sparkly

Realise that is a lot of criteria, but it must be possible!

I genuinely did not understand before how much mental energy it can take. You spend years being told to “eat healthy”, “move more”, “it’s just calories in versus calories out”, and then suddenly your body seems to change the rules without informing you. You can eat what feels like practically nothing and still gain weight from one takeaway, one dessert, one slightly normal weekend. Meanwhile people around you are saying “just be in a calorie deficit” as if you have not already reduced everything enjoyable.

It is not even vanity for many women. It is the exhausting feeling that maintaining your weight now requires permanent restriction and hypervigilance. You start mentally calculating every handful of nuts, every spoon of oil, every piece of bread, because the margin for error feels tiny.

What makes it worse is how invisible it is. Menopause is discussed in terms of hot flushes and periods stopping, but less about the sheer frustration of feeling your metabolism and body composition shift while being expected to behave as though nothing has changed.

Yes I exercise and I do weight training as well.

I know weight gain is not the worst thing in the world, but the constant mental negotiation around food can become draining. Sometimes it feels like menopause means your body now demands lifelong restraint just to stay the same size.

I know it is not like this for ALL women.

Anyone ordered this yet?

Lots of full sized products, looking forward to getting mine on Saturday!

I’ve got a 2 year old who has outgrown the pram I currently have. She’s only 13.5kg and it’s supposed to go to 22kg but she seems to be far too tall for it.
At the moment I just use it a couple of times a week so I can go for a walk to get some exercise. I was going to just give up on this because I didn’t want to invest in a new pram, given she’s probably not going to want to be in it much soon, but actually it’s the only time I get to do any sort of exercise so I’d really like to continue if I can.
For a while I did decide to just let her sit in the too small pram for the sake of just a few walks but now I’m Ttc and will need a new pram anyway.
So I’m wondering if I should either
a) keep this pram for now even though her head is pushing through the hood.
B) buy a new pram and then maybe buy a double pram in a few months if I get pregnant
or c) buy a pram that works for my toddler now, and will do for either the toddler or the baby interchangeably in the future. And I can baby wear when the toddlers in it and the toddler can walk when the baby is in it (is this realistic?!)

any advice on which option you’d pick and what pram you’d buy?

Yesterday my 20 month old got so angry he swiped his plate, glass and book off of the table. Then he banged his fists on the table. The way he did it was so ‘adult’ and it kind of took me by surprise. He is my second child, it’s not like I’m new to tantrums.

It reminded me of how angry my dad used to get. I was just taken aback, it made me realise I need to not raise an angry man. I want to teach him, from now, how to calm his emotions - without suppressing them. How do we do that?

Anyone out there who's made this or just can visualise this...how do I cut to make the dino shape?

In the cake recipe | Good Food www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/snappy-dinosaur-cake DINO CAKEcomments someone says they use some cake for the tail, instead of icing, which I'd prefer to do.

Instructions in recipe are:

Sandwich the cakes with just under ¼ of the buttercream and then all of the jam, if using. Mark the cake into six then cut out two of the wedges. Chill all of the cake in the fridge for 30 mins to firm up the crumbs, which will make icing easier.

Position the cakes on the board and, once you’re happy, use a little buttercream to anchor them. The main part of the cake will make the body of the dinosaur and the root of its tail, and the two cutout wedges will make the face.

Could anyone with better visualisation than me sketch it out? I need to see it!

TIA

Just that really. How much do you spend when baby/ toddler goes up a size?

Going up to 12-18 months size and we haven't had any hand-me-downs this time (I got lots for younger baby but people seem to have stopped now!)

I reckon I've spent somewhere between £200-£250 on the lot including coats, shoes etc.

50% Vinted/ supermarket stuff,
30% mid range like Next and H&M,
20% more pricey brands like a couple of nice tops/ dungarees from JoJo (still mostly in the sale though!)

Is that about normal? Or do you tend to get all your stuff secondhand/ from supermarkets at this age?

I know they grow so fast and make a mess at nursery etc, but still want to have a few nice things.

We earn OK and can afford it (and £100 was gifted from family), but DH thinks I've spent a lot given they grow so fast.

Just wondered what others tend to do and AIBU to think this is not too extravagent?

YABU - it's a lot to spend
YANBU - it's fine

Hi there,

has anyone any advice for revising recall training for a 5 year old dog.

my dog is normally very reliable with recall but I’ve had an incident in the park today that has really shaken me.

i was walking my spaniel around the same playing fields that we go on most days with DS (11 months) in the pram. My dog came back every time I called her until we reached the last bit of the walk when we met a man with two dogs, one on the lead one off the lead.

My dog bounded towards them to sniff and I called her because I saw his dog was on the lead, but she didn’t come which is really out of character, she struck a playful stance in front of the dog on the lead. He began swearing at me, calling me a fucking idiot and telling me to get her back on the lead.

I was calling her, but she thought it was a game and was dancing around trying to entice his dogs to play. He kept swearing at me, then began walking his dog towards her intentionally and encouraging it to attack, so she thought even more it was a game. I shouted at him to stop it and that he was winding her up and to walk away and he kept screaming that I’m a fucking idiot and shouldn’t have my dog off the lead. I was calling her all the time but she was so excited. He was then walking towards her trying to kick her and I was shouting at him to stop it and he kept swearing at me.

I was trying to get my dog back on the lead and keep checking back on DS who was parked in the pram about 6m away from where this is was happening. It was horrendous. the whole thing probably lasted about two minutes and he was verbally abusing me throughout. I kept saying to him “I’m trying to get her back on” and she kept dancing around because she thought it was all a game. He just kept swearing at me calling me a fucking idiot.

I told him to go away and that I would not be talking to him in front of my baby. It’s the only thing I could think to say. I was scared. A woman nearby actually told him he needed to walk his dogs away and he just kept moving towards my dog and shouting and swearing at me.

Ive walked my dog there for over three years and never had anything like this happen before. We did lots of recall training. I know she should have come back when I called her, and if a dog on a lead snapped or bit her because she hadn’t come away I would blame my dog not the dog on the lead, but it’s so out of character for her not to come back.

I’m ordering a retractable lead right now, I don’t feel safe walking her off the lead again, but does anyone have any advice on recall drills or training I can do? Is it just back to basics?

Please be gentle with me, I know my dog was in the wrong for not coming back, but I’m so upset. I’m scared of bumping into him on that park again even if she is on the lead 😞

Delta Goodrem is an existing pop star, worth $24 Million. I thought the Eurovision was meant to be for singers who weren't already pop stars.

I mean, why don't we just send the Rolling Stones then? Or Ed Sheeran? Where does it end? 😳