Not sure where to start, I have a 13 year old daughter (my oldest). She has a few cousins around the same age , 13, 14 & 15. They all used to play well and got on well together (or so I thought).

A couple of years ago I saw a message from the 14 year old messaging the 13 year old something mean about my daughter referencing her weight and a go kart. I handled the situation badly, confronted the cousin who sent the message and made my daughter get off the go kart.

Since then the girls don't play with my daughter. I stupidly told my daughter what was said in the text and rather then it blow over its getting worse when on the odd occasion they meet up.

The parents seem oblivious to the situation even though I mentioned it to them and asked them to speak to the children about it. My daughter wants to be included but is mostly ignored then she shuts down.

I just don't know how to nip this in the bud. Every family gathering just gets awkward. I avoid as many as I can to try and protect her.

How do I fix this going forward?

As an autistic and ARFID household I‘m worried about what we’d eat in the 3 day emergency scenario, except snacks. I realised last night that I could still cook with the gas hob as long as there’s no interruption to supply.i have matches to light the gas. We’ve had plenty of power cuts but I’ve never known of any issues with the gas. Could the gas be cut off?
I’m prepped for no water, have lots of snacks, plenty in the pantry and freezer as normal but suddenly worried if I’d be able to heat anything. We have power banks and batteries and candles and motion sensor rechargeable lights charged. Toiletries and pet food all in good stock.
I thought about getting a kettle for the hob because cups of tea are very important for dd in particular.
There’s no chance anyone would eat cold beans or soup as is being suggested on other threads. We’d rather go hungry.

I was just doing my online shop last night. So many items like bottled water and long life milk were out of stock.

Quite clearly many people are taking the advice seriously. But to be honest, three days’ worth of food is really very little - most people would have that at home, even if it may not be their preferred food. So I think people are responding to this by buying supplies for a lot more than three days.

Full disclosure - I have done this myself. Not buying silly amounts but just a few more cans than usual. I don’t even know why!

How old would someone be to like this handbag?

I ask because I bought it as a gift for a friend and someone else has said it's too old/young for them (don't want to say which so don't prejudice any answers!)

I'm thinking of investing in my first pair of knee high boots, but am nervous about them being work appropriate!
Are these suitable, e.g. with an almost-knee-length skirt? I imagine I could also wear them with a miniskirt out of work

www.office.co.uk/view/product/office_catalog/2,17/4591300000

www.office.co.uk/view/product/office_catalog/2,17/5026200000

Last year a new family moved in next door. They have 2 little girls (7&4) my DD is 6 so I was delighted to see kids of similar age moving in. They are a lovely family I get on really well with the parents especially the mum and initially it seemed like the kids enjoyed playing together while we had a coffee. However their older girl 7 doesn't really "play" with kids in the usual sense, she prefers to play alone beside them and will only engage to direct the other children then can react badly if children don't play out the game exactly as she has it in her head. Eg older child will insist on only playing school and always being the teacher and will tell the others what to say and do and get very upset if they don't comply. She is a lovely child extremely smart just very rigid in her way of playing and can also be painfully honest she doesn't mean to hurt people's feelings but she does.
Its led to my DD really disliking the older girl so she Doesn't want to play with her anymore. She loves the younger DD but the sisters come as a package obviously. I won't force my DD to play with someone she doesn't want to but I do feel bad for the the older DD I suspect she has some ND but the mother has never mentioned it to me so its not like i can use this as a way to speak to my DD about kids with autism etc.

I just don't know how to say it to the mum. She's been inviting me over with my DD for a coffee/playdate and I've kept putting her off saying im busy with work I don't want to say "sorry my kid doesn't want to play with your kid" as it seems kind of mean even if it's truthful.

What would you do?

I'm starting to think about Christmas presents, but money is tight and I'm kind of low on ideas right now, but I was imagining how nice it would be to be the kind of man person who just turns up for Christmas day, opens some presents, eats some nice food then has a relax on the sofa...

I love Christmas and I like the excitement of the lead up, and spending time with my family. We (me, DH and 2 DC) live abroad, so always travel back home and stay with my parents for a couple of weeks. On Christmas day, I do the cooking with help from DH (I get him to do the veg minus the potatoes!), but I have 3 siblings who come with partners so there's a lot of people! The kitchen isn't that big either so getting everyone to chip in isn't very practical, unfortunately.

I was just having a little daydream about how nice it would be to just turn up and wait to be served...

Anyone else?

Time

Please be gentle, my mental health is delicate and I'm trying not to panic about preparing a suitable emergency kit for my family of 4.

I just wondered what meals you are putting in your kits please? It's me, my partner and our 2 DC (8).

I'd like to write a 3 day 'meal plan' which I can laminate and pop in my box so I'm fully prepared (for MH reasons I think this will make me feel a lot calmer)

Breakfast lunch and dinner with snacks.

Drinks
Water
Hot chocolate (we're not tea/coffee drinkers)
Long life milk.
Squash

Breakfast
Weetabix
Porridge oats
Tinned fruit
Long life milk

Lunch
Dry spaghetti & Tinned Bolognese
Baked beans & ?
?

Dinner
Rice & Tinned curry
?
?

I'm so sorry if this is a silly question I'd just really appreciate some help so I can do a shop, prepare it and 'forget' about it! I'm finding it very stressful.

Thank you :)

Those of you who have your main Christmas dinner on Christmas Eve rather than Christmas Day, come and tell me all about it!

I first saw someone mention doing this on Mumsnet a few years ago and remember thinking it sounded like such a lovely idea. Every year since, I’ve been a little more tempted, but I always end up talking myself out of it and doing the usual Christmas Day dinner. I think part of it is that nobody in my family has ever done it differently, so I’d be the first to break with tradition 😂

This year, though, I haven’t managed to talk myself out of it yet! The more I think about it, the more I really want to give it a go. I’m getting a bit fed up with spending Christmas Eve preparing everything, then spending such a big chunk of Christmas Day cooking it all.

I love the thought of getting the preparation done on the 23rd, then having a lovely sit-down Christmas dinner on Christmas Eve, with everyone excited and all the anticipation of Santa still to come. Then waking up on Christmas morning knowing there’s no big dinner to organise, and just being able to enjoy the presents and spend time with everyone.

But I’ve never done it before, so I’d love to hear how it actually works for other families. Have any of you tried it and then regretted it when Christmas Day arrived? Did you find yourself wishing you’d waited, or feeling like something was missing? Or did you love it and wonder why you hadn’t done it sooner?

And what do you have to eat on Christmas Day itself? I’d still want the food to feel special and Christmassy, so I’d love to hear what you do instead of the traditional dinner. Do you have a buffet, a lovely breakfast, something completely different?

Basically, please tell me about your Christmases and give me some ideas! I’m very tempted to finally do it this year, but would love a bit of inspiration from people who already do 😊

This is intended as a friendly, kind, safe, warm and fuzzy place for people to share discounts, bargains and Christmas gift ideas both online and IRL. Please note the tone and intention of the thread and join with spirit as generous as DC helping themselves to the Christmas chocolate celebrations

Here’s some useful information about how to save the thread or a specific post so you don’t need to have a message to check in for every thread so you have the thread saved:
To watch the thread - click on the little bell that has ‘watch’ under my first message. This adds the whole thread to your ‘watched threads’
You can also bookmark a specific post by clicking on the ‘bookmark’ under the specific post. This saves your exact place in a thread but doesn’t alert you to new replies.
If you have any referral links or codes, please share them on the referral thread

www.mumsnet.com/talk/christmas/5444936-bargain-referrals-thread-8

A reminder that we don't use affiliated links on here please

🎄 Emoji to copy if required for posting bargains as some agree this makes deals easier to spot.

Will request this is deleted if someone more official beats me to it or if Reastie returns!

Hard one to explain but I've always had really thin hair that's see through & breaks easy so rarely grows to a decent length. It means I tie it up every day but by doing so it makes me look quite 'done' if that makes sense.
For example, at work I wear quite smart trendy outfits (least I'd say so!) but a scraggly loose ponytail doesn't match so I end up doing a bun - instantly creating a smart vibe that I don't particularly want. When at the kids football, I end up having to scrap the hair back all slick as the broken fly aways look awful in the wind but then it looks too much for a hoodie & muddy trainers.

It was always like this when I went out clubbing, friends would have curly or straight hair worn down whereas I'd have mine pinned back. My friend would wear big puffy dresses with her curly hair & all would be in proportion but whatever I wore would have to go with my pea head!

I'm just finding it's either aging me or requiring far more work, like having to put make up on to balance it all out. And more recently I've realised that certain outfits can't be worn as I look too much or too dressed up. Not doing my hair at all means the opposite.

I'm not sure what I'm getting at, just wondering if others understand? Do you find the hair makes an outfit or look?

DD has been accepted to run Paris! I would love to get a gift related to it. She has all the running gear but has anyone seen anything else?
Thank you

I keep seeing posts on instagram with various reasons why someone has ADHD and then hundreds of comments below reporting these people also have all of these symptoms.
Just wondering if anyone reads these and doesn’t relate to them? To me they are just part of being human, but maybe I am completely wrong and I have ADHD🤣

the posts generally include statement along these lines…

• I find it hard to get going or impossible to stop
• I can put off a tiny task for weeks but worry about it for hours but when I finally complete it it takes 5 minutes
• I can distracted and start cleaning after the shower and suddenly I’ve cleaned the whole house whilst wearing my towel
• Having a chair covered in clothes
• having multiple drinks on the go in the house
• needing a calender because if not I would forget appointments

I was in an abusive relationship for four years in my early 20s. It was never physical, but he coercively controlled and abused me. He would repeatedly call me a slag and a slut. He made me afraid to speak to my friends. He tried to stop me going out with my family. He controlled what I wore and how I acted. He’d punch walls around my head.

I’ve just read an article about an awful case of domestic abuse, and there he is, quoted as the domestic abuse lead. I don’t know how to feel. I probably should be angry but I almost feel wryly amused. Of course they’ve made an abusive man the domestic abuse lead.

I’ve been with DH for 14 years now who has just been diagnosed with severe ADHD (should’ve been diagnosed as a kid, but his parents refuse to believe adhd even exists)

I love him to bits, but I am exhausted putting out the constant fires and being the one that has to hold it all together.

I feel like I have to have two brains - one for me and one to keep on top of his stuff. He jokes that I’m autistic because I remember everything, but the truth is I don’t have a choice.

We have a 3 year old daughter and I carry the entire mental load of the house, parenting etc. but he’s also self employed so I have to remind him of everything to do with work too (taxes, payroll, paying office rent, etc).

After I had my daughter I had to practically give up my own self employed work because it was impossible to juggle it all. I do some work for his company ad-hoc, although that means I’m fully financially dependant on him too which I hate.

He gets so stroppy if I ‘nag’ (remind him of things) but then constantly asks me what he’s forgotten.

His temper is horrible when he’s stressed out (not physical or anything but still not nice to be around) and it was this that led to me pushing for a diagnosis so he can try medication for it, although he still hasn’t booked the follow up appointment for that.

I don’t know what I’m looking for really. I know so many people will say just leave but I have no one and nothing (no family, now no source of income), and amongst all the shit I do really love him. What do I do? I’m exhausted

On our first date, we also went out for dinner, and I suggested we split the bill. (I would always expect to pay half). He was surprised and said that no woman had ever suggested that before and he always paid. I insisted and we split it. Now he's suggested a restaurant for the second date which is way more than I'd usually pay - he has a higher paying job than I do. And also it's only a second date so not worth of £100 a head in my view! Is there a way I can respond which is asking him if he's paying or maybe I just say, I can't stretch to that can we go somewhere cheaper? What do you think?

I just wanted to mention that for us, our milkman was the hero of covid and no doubt will be again if there is a supply chain disruption.

The cows will be milked and the milk delivered everyday, because that is just what they always do! and they also do eggs, fruit, butter, all dairy, veg, some tins, bacon - a little corner shop by whatsapp and delivered to your door. Yes a bit more expensive that the supermarket but much fresher and all very locally produced.

I know not everywhere has a milk man available but I thought I would share, our milk man is also superb for finding any lost parcel from a mis-delivery photo and doing daily checks on elderly and vulnerable people, a total superstar.

Sorry if this isn’t the usual post on here, just wondering if anyone can related or has any thoughts! So, I’m a bit shaken. I‘ve just taken my puppy for a walk and she has had some looser bowels today after she disagreed with a type of treat we’ve been giving her. When I took her on a walk earlier, she unexpectedly just went to the toilet right outside someone’s gate. Normally, I walk her through the fields or on the trail but with it being dark i’ve felt safer going through streets with street lights. I got my poo bag out and started picking it up.

As I was doing so, a car arrived just next to me where an older lady (I’d say about 75-80) got out the car where she’d been dropped off. Obviously I felt awkward and when she saw me she snapped “don’t let it mess in my gate!”. I was a bit taken aback so I said “sorry, what?” she then repeated it again but with a swear word or two. I was a bit shocked and said “I always clean it up. I’m so sorry, she normally doesnt go near gates”. She then replied “Yes but I don’t like it!” She was shouting which really threw me off, I think it was partly as I was already having a bad day and this happened. I then apologised again while she was walking to her door and clarified that I don’t encourage her to do that but she is a puppy and has been poorly. She then jist shook her head and slammed the door at me.

So, I want to clarify two things: 1. The mess wasn’t actually inside her drive, it was right outside. I don’t let any of my two dogs inside people’s property or garden. 2. I completely understand not wanting dog mess by your gate and that’s a reasonable request. But I would think most people would understand that dogs can be unpredictable and not be so hostile? 3. I know some people can be particular about their homes and surroundings and I do appreciate that. I have anxiety and I think that is partly what triggered me so much.
I know she could have just had some bad news and reacted in that way, or had some anger about something else. But I feel awful that I upset someone and at the same time a bit annoyed that I was spoken to like this.

Has anyone had anything similar happen with their puppy, and AIBU for thinking this could have been handled better?

It's another MIL one. My DH's mother has a chronic illness and is in and out of hospital a lot. This has resulted in mission creep with him doing more and more and I seem to be getting sucked in (and starting to resent it) DH has a sibling but they are utterly useless and do absolutely nothing. I obviously want to support my husband, but I also do not want my forties to become overshadowed by someone else's I'll health. I also think my husband needs to place more boundaries, but that is actually between him and his mother. I just want advice on how to make sure I dont get sucked in to doing more and more. It is affecting my mental health. Has anyone else been through similar, and if so, what do you advise?

I love reading about the history of food and recipes and how we ended up eating what we do. Along the way some foods have become commonplace and some are sought after and celebrated (mostly because expensive).

I am here to celebrate the pea. That pretty and delicate little green ball that I can’t believe comes in giant bags for £1.50. How is it so cheap? Why don’t people appreciate it? A dish of peas with butter and mint is divine. They are so delicious and delicate and pretty. Did people appreciate them properly when they had to remove them from their pods and could only eat them fresh for a couple of weeks?

Other things that absolutely punch are sesame oil, sumac, balsamic vinegar. Why are they not more expensive?!

Wondering what everyone's thoughts are on the upcoming changes to Air BnB bookings where owners will no longer be able to ask guests to strip beds, remove rubbish or even wash up after themselves.
I'm a cleaner and I'm worried this will mean I can no longer do changeovers properly.
I currently do a 5 bed 3 bathroom that sleeps 10 and it takes me the whole check out time (5 hours) to turn the property over. That's with guests having to strip beds, remove rubbish to correct outside bins and at the very least load up the dishwasher and put it on.
If I have to add this on to It could easily add on an hour which means check out or in times would have to be adjusted and people already moan or turn up 2 or 3 hours early or leave an hour late.
So I'm guessing I'm asking what peoples thoughts are if you use air B and b. Do you do these things if asked and would continue too if you can't be asked to? Or do you think this isn't your place to do it? Does it make a difference if there is a cleaning fee charged separately?
My view is it's not a hotel ..its self catering and you should leave it as you found it. I always put a lot of effort into trying to ensure when the guests arrive it feels like no one was there before then and it's theirs for the week.
If I stay anywhere...even a hotel I'll strip the bed and set the bins ready to make it easier for the cleaner.
But although most guests are great you do get some that you just wonder what Thier own home is like.

I’ll be at a dinner and networking event at the House of Lords soon, and the dress code is business attire - I have no idea what to wear!

For work I tend to wear midi length bias cut skirts and a stretchy top or jumper and boots, and I don’t really think these types of outfits would be deemed business attire. Maybe I am wrong? I’m worried I’d look too casual. So I have to wear a smart jacket?

I’ve had a quick look at business wear online and what I’ve seen so far looks quite old fashioned to me, so maybe I’m looking in the wrong places?

What should I wear???

I’m an hourglass size 16 who prefers skirts and dresses to trousers, and I love square necks.

I don’t ideally want a suit, and I really don’t like traditional button up shirt/blouses.

I love golden olive, burgundy, dark pink, navy and black, as well as prints (especially leopard).

I posted some time ago, when I was pregnant and received responses that I should leave my DH. I was all set up to go but my DH begged me to stay. He said he would change and so I stayed as DS was about to be born. DH is the best Dad ever.

My mother was very critical of my DH (and me for staying with him) and I had to cut off contact with her for my own wellbeing. My DF was not involved in the fallout but I don’t see him either as he supports my mother’s view.

I have just discovered that my grandmother has been telling people that my DS is always ill - and it is being discussed that it is likely because of all the times DH shouted at me when I was pregnant - that stress hormones would somehow have crossed the placenta - or cortisol levels have weakened DS’s immune system. I have looked it up but it seems inconclusive - so I am right in thinking/hoping it cannot be too serious? Unfortunately, my grandmother knows DS has been unwell several times but only with colic and viruses - and was nearly hospitalised on two occasions. I feel very betrayed by my grandmother and regret telling her anything.

DS is my whole world. AIBU to forgive DH for his past behaviour?

So we’re about to buy a home, we’ve had the surveyor out and he’s said that a row of (very large - roof height) 6 conifers need to be removed as they’re posing a risk to the house and neighbours house. They’ve also said a new boiler is needed.

We are happy to get the new boiler but we can’t stretch to removal of the conifers. Is it reasonable to get a rough quote to have these removed and request this off of the house price?