I have DD1 and DDnearly4.

My eldest DD has EVERYTHING. She was the first grandchild on both sides and has practically every toy imaginable. We are a family that likes to go ‘all out’ on birthdays and Christmas too.

How do you handle new gifts and hand me downs in your family? We have a big playroom so all of our toys live in there. DD1 has become interested in babies and pushchairs recently and there’s been a few arguments about our 1 toy pushchair so I’ve been thinking about buying DD1 her own. However the one we’ve got is perfect for DD1, and it would probably be better to buy DD4 her own bigger pushchair. But I find this happens a lot, but it seems unfair that it’s always eldest DD who gets everything new whilst DD1 just has to share DD4’s stuff or have the stuff she’s outgrown.

I’ve started thinking ahead for Christmas, and cannot think of a single thing that DD1 needs as she has everything that DD4 has outgrown. Where as I have a really long list of things for DD4.

How does this work in your family?

I bought 3 dresses this year.

2 in store that caught my eye and i now love - from m&s and a department store. Both under £50.

I tried on many others that didnt work.

1 from online - almost £300 and it is just ok.

I have gradually cut down and down on online shopping because so much just disappoints on quality or simply doesnt suit me.

Anyone else upping their in person pu4chases?

That she was incredibly attractive and that every man in the world would want to be with her. Context is that she has split up with her DH and is planning and trip and would perhaps like some fun on it. When I said it was important for her that people found her attractive that’s when he said the above and that she was delusional if she couldn’t see and tell that every man would want to be with her. When I challenged him on it he got defensive and wouldn’t speak just saying I was being ridiculous to be upset. A few days later he’s now saying he doesn’t find her attractive- was being sarcastic and wouldn’t be with her if she was the last women on earth etc. what hurts the most is that he has never spoken about me with such passion or said such things. He also said once years ago that if he had seen a different friend first he would have opted for her. Both of my friends are good looking for context .. Aibu to be absolutely gutted by this ?

Day one of a weeks holiday in Spain with DP and DC (age 4, 3 and 0)

Me and DP had an argument this morning which was in my opinion trivial but I know people are different. Basically I was stressed because the 2 older kids had been crying most of the morning as we had a late arrival and they haven’t slept enough (got to hotel at 1.30am and was up at 7.30). Wasn’t working in the hotel room trying to get them to sleep so I wanted to get them out in the pushchair. Partner suggested going to the shops and (I believe he said) then go swimming straight after. Baby was asleep so didn’t get her ready for swimming. DP was taking ages getting ready so I said I’d just walk them up and down to stop the crying. Tbf it was only a few minutes when I came back as he still wasn’t out the room as he was doing his hair. I was unreasonably annoyed, basically in a huff saying I might as well get baby ready as I was waiting for him anyway (but didn’t say that). It was just the stress of waiting around for 2 hours in the room already with them not settling. Then it was an argument over what we were doing basically. Escalated as he said that he was gonna stay in the hotel room so I was fuming because that meant me being left with all 3 kids and I genuinely can’t take them all out by myself very easily. So I got pissed off and threw a hat at him which knocked his water over (that was out of order I know). So he said he was going out before he got angry. This was 7 hours ago. He’s not responding to messages etc so no clue where he is. He’s probably just in the hotel bar. But I’ve had this before where he takes days to calm down regardless of whether I apologise etc. Yes it was my fault but it this a normal reaction?! I can’t stay on holiday like this. There is literally no point me being here because I haven’t been able to take the kids swimming or anywhere really today. Had a walk to the shops (2 in a pushchair whilst wearing a baby carrier. 4 year old is autistic which is why he needs a pushchair for safety) so only a small walk. Got some food etc to cook as I don’t see how I can go to the restaurant with all of them as I can’t leave them at the table. We’re all inclusive and haven’t brought enough money to keep buying food as didn’t think that was going to be needed.
A friend has said she’ll lend me the money for flights home if I want to go tomorrow. AIBU if I do that and just leave him here? I will let him know but he’s not replying to anything even me asking if he was coming back so I could get the kids some food which I think is out of order. Hence the walk to the shops. So I have no clue when he’ll be back. What would you do?

Who do you find attractive but they're perhaps not attractive in a conventional way?

I'll start with David Baddiel. Something about him. His facial hair is sexy. He did a series cycling round France with Hugh Dennis (who I also have a crush on) and the pair of them were a joy to watch. Witty and intelligent. He's also fiercely proud of his Jewish heritage.

My son has a lovely slim blanket hoodie from next that he has just outgrown- he’s age 14 but over 6 ft…. Next don’t seem to have any age 15/16 suitable boys one and Google just finds me men’s ones that are massive and Sherpa lined… he just wants a nonlined one with fleece inside. Any suggestions? I have a sewing machine but am not that skilled to make one myself! Thanks!

Well, my story is pretty scandalous. I’m from Indian heritage … a cousin I had not seen for years invited by my family to my wedding - she wore her bloody wedding outfit her glam reception - red outfit - all her freaking jewellery I mean Wtaf and I’m still not over it and it’s been 17 years

I was on a flight the other week and two products really caught my eye in the in-flight magazine. I didn’t buy them (well, I tried to buy the eye cream but it had sold out) and I regret it!
There was a cream that tightens loose skin on your upper arms. I can’t remember the name or brand. Does anyone have such a thing and does it actually work? I’d love it if so, just to make me feel a bit more confident on holiday in October.
And what about the eye cream - any good?
Many thanks.

I have lots of long floating dresses with patterns, and I want it to move away to something a bit more basic. Maybe a bit more figure hugging.

Are horizontal stripes regarded tr3ndy these days.

I just wanted a plain basic dress, and this one is fairly cheap.

www.jigsaw-online.com/collections/sale-dresses/products/stripe-asymmetric-neck-dress-navy

Went to a&e tonight. I have a foreign object stuck in my ear. I did not know it was in there until someone looked last night before I left my house and said i should get it looked at. Wasn't able to go to a&e today as my son had his own medical appointment in another city that I have waited months for and we were in a hotel for last night. There was no way I was cancelling it for my own ailment.

The pain has got significantly worse. Have shooting pains into my jaw and cheek bone and my ear is making clicking noises. This is since about lunch time today. Went to a&e this evening and the triage nurse asked me how long it had been in my ear. I said I suspect a few weeks, but I thought I just had an earache and it went away after a while so thought it was gone. Got some new foam ear plugs last week (which obviously pushed the foreign body in further!) and am now suffering for it. I hadn't finished when she cut me off and said 'well I don't really understand why you have picked this evening to come to a&e' and told me I would be better off going to my GP. I am in some pain but ended up leaving because she just made me feel like I had done an awful thing by heading straight after my son's appointment. I spoke to 111 earlier in the day and they told me to go to a&e asap because I could risk my hearing and that whilst it isn't life threatening, it is both an accident and an emergency. I asked if I could wait until morning and they said no. This was the 111 dr not the triage staff. I have no idea if this is the correct advice.

AIBU to think I didn't do anything wrong? I told her a medical professional has looked at it (a friend of mine who is a dr of 30 years) and said it needs ent because of how far in it is and she actually rolled her eyes at me and said I should see an actual GP (I suspect by that she meant my own GP?) and that a&e were sending everyone to minor injuries and that cases like mine are the reason she now has a 6 hour waiting list.

Is this normal for a&e now? Is it so awful working there that being rude has just become the norm or do most people have a better bedside manner? I haven't been to a&e since I was a child and was really shocked by the way I was spoken to, after being advised to go there by 111 and a trusted friend who is a medical doctor (GP).

To add, she didn't look in my ear.

Would you have done anything different? Am I missing something?

Trying to cover all bases.

I’m not talking the “oh yeah I whack a teabag in my baggage”, i’m talking the type of stuff most people would never dream of taking.

In the loo in a pub in Richmond last night. 2 young women chatting, as I was going out one of them tapped me on the back and said “your E is very chic”.
any idea what that means? I’m 63 and not particularly stylish

That I can pull off at 38!

Need my brows sorting, happy to travel but want a specialst not a beauty or lash salon that offers it want a pro!

I split up from my ex-husband over 12 years ago - in summary, the relationship was on the rocks and then I found out he was having an affair with a work colleague. I thought I’d moved on completely with my life and rarely think about him. However, yesterday I received a phone call on my work phone from his new partner, asking me to accept her friend request on social media as she needed to discuss certain things with me. I was at my desk and extremely taken aback so just said, yes, ok. I then received a whole series of messages asking me to call her to discuss my ex’s behaviour, because she thinks he’s having an affair, she wants to know how he behaved in our relationship, is this what he’s like etc etc I haven’t really answered so far but I’m a bit freaked out at being tracked down (I live in another country now) and don’t really want anything to do with this woman, who sounds unhinged. Would you engage with her messages? Has anyone else ever tracked down a partners ex to quiz them or is this as bizarre as I think it is?

For those with dishwashers.
Do you load the dishwasher throughout the day or do you wait until you have a lot to put in all at once?
We have recently bought one and dh is saying that constantly opening the door will cause too much wear and tear.
I hate seeing the dirty dishes on the side and think that it defeats the object of having a dishwasher.
Surely I'm not being unreasonable?

Recently made redundant. There are a few women's walking groups near me and I would love to go out on a day walk. (I wouldn't want go out walking in the countryside alone which is a whole other topic). But what do people do about needing a wee? Is it fine in those groups to dodge behind a tree? I would do this if out with my dh/friends. Writing it down now it seems silly.. this must be what everyone does, I guess?

I really like this style of dress for a spring wedding next year, but have yet to find the one. I’m looking for a midi,( 130-135 cm long) cape sleeved dress in floral pinks and purples. The sleeves have to be long enough to cover upper arms v shaped at front. Many are too short in the sleeve. I found one on the Roman site but it is petite only.
This sort of thing.

I am planning to meet a friend for a weekend in Birmingham. I am travelling from the north, she is travelling from the south so it's equidistant for us.
She will be travelling by train, me by car.
I will be leaving my car with a friend on the outskirts of Birmingham and getting a cab in and out to meet my friend, for lunch and afternoon into early evening, then we will be parting ways.
So I am looking for suggestions of chilled places where we can meet, relax, eat and talk for as long as we like. We do not want to be walking around or exploring at all as my friend has mobility problems.
Venues need to be close to the train station or max five or ten minute walk away, that offer food and a quiet environment and where we are not going to be rushed from our table or seats. Not fussy about type of food but preferably not chain restaurants.
It will be a Friday afternoon in the autumn.
Thanks in advance.

Our 8 month old DD goes to swim class, shes been going for 3 months. She's started stranger fear now so we've asked instructors to not to hold her.
We should have the same instructor each week but we've had 5 different ones now. The first 4 listened and didn't touch her or just held her hand.
We had a class on friday, another new instructor and a trainee. Trainee is lovely.
DH forgot to remind the trainee to not hold DD so he helped her into the pool, she immediately cried as someone else held her. DH was in the pool trying to calm her down while class started. The trainee threw her a little rubber duck to help calm her down.
The other instructor then marched over 'dad, can I have her'. DH did not say anything so she took my crying DD from his arms and started doing the exercises with her. DD was now absolutely wailing. DH just stood there like a lemon.
I said excuse me 4 times until the instructor bothered to look at me. I said 'she's scared of strangers'. DH took DD back and handed her to me (i was not in the pool).
This instructor then berated me repeatedly saying DD needs to get used to her face and should be held by other people. This went on for several minutes, couldn't really hear much from the wailing. DH and I had said nothing else to her while she was ranting at me.
I took DD to get dressed and we left, she was in the pool for less than 5 minutes and cried for nearly 2 hours.
I've emailed the company with no response but we have another class today, no idea who the instructor is
DH thinks we should leave this company. I love taking DD swimming and she usually loves splashing about and floating, should I just skip the classes with that instructor or am I massively over reacting?
I spoke to my HV about it and she said I did the right thing and not to force baby to be held by other people

My cousin is getting married next month. The wedding invitation specified no white or purple, as these are the bridal party colours. I'd have never have worn white as a matter of course, but was grateful for the heads-up on the purple, as no one wants to look like they're trying to make themselves into a bridesmaid by stealth!

Anyway, I had narrowed it down to a couple of dresses and I think this is the one. However, I showed it to my mother and she made a bit of a face and said, "Ohhh... it's pink though." I was baffled and said I could see perfectly well it was pink, and what was her point. She said, "They said no purple. What if it's a pinky purple?"

I think she's nuts 😄I've already avoided blues in case it was a bluish purple, but I don't think this could be seen as anywhere near purple. Plus, every bridesmaid dress I've ever seen has been a block colour, not a print. Surely this isn't a risky choice?

I bid on several flats in the same block and I have been shortlisted for a ground floor flat.

I received an email advising me my other bids had been slipped as I wanted to be considered for this home.

I have security and privacy concerns with a ground floor flat.

I am extremely grateful for this opportunity but as I was not asked which was my preferred choice would it be unreasonable to ask the HO at the housing association?

AIBU

So for context we are staying in lake como for a 4 day 3 night stay, I booked the apartment on booking.com for around £400 when we arrived the host told us that unfortunately after the last guests came the hot water stopped working, and because we arrived on Sunday he couldn’t get anyone out to fix it but would get on it first thing Monday, it’s Tuesday evening now and still no hot water and we leave in the morning, we are travelling with a baby so hot water is essential especially because there is an incredible heatwave here, unfortunately moving to a different accommodation wasn’t offered nor do I know if it was an option due to the remoteness of where we are staying, the host has been kind and generous, but I do feel we should be entitled to a partial refund due to not being able to wash our baby or steralise bottles etc fro 4 days. Am I being an arsehole as my partner thinks I am.

my baby is nearly 7 months old now and i got back with his dad a couple of months ago we split during pregnancy because he didn’t care but he does now and he’s very involved he’s a good dad to my older children too better than their actual dads

i posted a lot last year when i was low and i took a long break because of the comments but things seem good right now and i am happy and the happiest ive been in a long time not because of my bf i dont think i think everything’s just fallen into place and my kids are happy and doing well the only thing is im struggling with my sons schoolin but that’s not the pint of my thread

we live in a flat that’s too small i know you’ll all ask why did you have more kids then but that’s not the point either im just saying for context

he has a flat but he’s found a rental house which is 3 beds but also a garden and the biggest tool could potentially be split im not sure if that’s allowed in a rental though

he wants me too move in with him and ive not had the best judgement with past partners my ex eldest childrens dad was abusive and i was homeless with 3 kids including a baby then my other childs dad is gone and never met him or maybe he did once i can’t remember

i just don’t know as this flat is council so im worried about giving it up but then i think about the exciting things like decorating and us having more space

Hi all, I hope everyone is well.

For context, my husband and I met when the youngest of our respective children had just turned 18, 6 years ago, and we married 2 years ago.
Upon marriage we opted to retain our own properties, while I moved in with him and the rent I made from my property went towards bills and household costs.
Other wise our individual finances remain separate, we both still work and earn our own money.

He has one daughter who is 25, turning 26, I have 2 children 24 and 27 respectively.

He earns far more than I do, as a result he spoils his daughter who lives abroad, some recent examples include
£2,000 towards she and her boyfriends summer holiday
£11,000 on a vintage watch
£3,000 when her hand bag and phone were lost on a night out

She earns well, and has a property out right from her mothers side so none of these were needs and she never asks, he simply enjoys doing it and wants to.

Meanwhile I cannot afford this for my children, my children have expressed some concern that the rental income I get covers all the bills, they think this is unfair and it should be split. My husbands argument is that since we live in his house we can’t rent it out so I gain by living here.

Equally both of our daughters are getting married in 2027/8. So far he has already agreed to paying for his daughter’s entire wedding include a custom made dress likely in the 15-20k range. I can’t afford to contribute this to my daughter’s wedding and she has no father on the scene to help so they are having to self fund. I asked him if he would at least help me buy her dress (less expensive as she’s not interested in it being custom made) and he has said he doesn’t feel that’s his responsibility.

AIBU to be finding him quite selfish and unhelpful? His daughter is truly lovely and he is very loving but the financial disparity is more obvious than I excepted it to be.