My son (Reception) has had ongoing issues with a boy at school (let’s call him Roy) who is very rough and has previously hurt him. Today I was told Roy and another child pushed him over and punched, kicked and pulled his hair during a game.

The school have been aware of their dynamic for a while and have tried to separate them when needed. They won’t / can’t just keep them entirely apart as it isn’t a straightforward bully/victim situation. They are friends of a sort, but the friendship is definitely a toxic one. Roy is exciting and competitive, so my son does sometimes want to play with him but he takes things far too far and my son has come home with several injuries in the past. Roy has form for hitting other kids too. My son has only retaliated once to the school’s knowledge, and took his telling off really seriously and has never done so again.

School described today’s incident as “not malicious, something that got out of hand” but still very serious and Roy and the other boy’s parents are being told and consequences are being given.

I’m quite shocked by the level of violence for 5 year olds. My son said he was kicked so hard he felt sick.

I want my son to be safe and happy but Roy seems like an impediment to that.

Maybe I am overreacting though and this is not that unusual?

I’d appreciate some advice from parents or teachers on what more I should be asking or expecting the school to do.

My son is getting married next year. June wedding. Someone on her recommended this dress for someone else. I went ahead and ordered it - a size smaller as that was all that was available. It has some weight to it and I love it but is it a bit cheapskate for mother of the groom. The money is not www.debenhams.com/product/jolie-moi-angel-sleeve-tiered-hem-maxi-dress_p-3e6c2c44-815f-42c7-b1db-67eae670cce8?colour=Multi&size=10&gclsrc=aw.ds&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=22915808283&gbraid=0AAAAABevdS7lom0v68CypUOUtJ7wI713e&gclid=Cj0KCQjwio_RBhDMARIsAJPveNPX9QJHogyDX5JR4S_T4TALqJat6EcPACrQj2f_XntgPAeZTx04zrkaAnTFEALw_wcB

I've bought this beautiful dress from Doen for DS graduation plus other summer events and I have now realised the likelihood is that it will be cold and probably raining. What would you wear over it? Size 16 but tall (5ft 11) with F cup. Budget up to £400/£500.

I’m getting the train to visit a friend today. On my first train there was an elderly man who had a suitcase and another bag with him, as well as a walking stick. He had assistance to get on the train.

I was getting off at the same stop as him and he was looking around a bit aimlessly, obviously looking for help. I asked if he needed a hand to get his things off the train and he scoffed and said “he wouldn’t take help from a woman”.

I left him to it, but to be honest it’s left a really sour taste in my mouth. AIBU to think this was a really dick-ish thing to say? I wanted to snap back at him and say if he didn’t want help from a woman, he shouldn’t be travelling with more than he can cope with, but I didn’t.

Exchanged contracts Thursday for completion next Friday. Buyer below me and I’m buying ex rental which is at top of chain

randomly bank withdraw offer Friday afternoon, 24 hrs after exchanging)saying credit rating changed therefore affordability impacted. Have a call at 9am Saturday. Wtf absolutely nothing I can think of that would have changed and my Experian score is very strong still. Any advice - is there any way I can still complete in 6 days?!

any solicitors or bankers on here?

i don’t want some paid influencer to tell me, i want real people to!

• cyberjammies- the best most comfy pj’s I’ve ever had I now have 3 pairs
• snag tights. I’ll never wear other tights again
• Laura gelled face powder makeup- specifically bronzer to go which has a poof and a mirror built in

yours?

If you have sent your children to private school, have you had any negativity about it from others, especially family? If so how have you dealt with it?

Our children currently go to state primary but our oldest will be going to a private secondary school in September. It’s a nice school and we feel it will suit her. Since telling our family, some of them have been really critical of our choice as they don’t agree with private schools. I’ve listened to what they have said and understand their point of view, but ultimately, it’s our choice and I’ve said I don’t want to keep talking about it as the decision has been made. They stopped for a while but last week on the phone and at a meal yesterday they brought it up again, with our children there. They’ve never been interested in our children’s schooling until now.

We were all exhausted this weekend, and literally didn't move further than 1 mile from our house.

How is it possible to spend so much money going nowhere and doing nothing?

This is at least the second time that it has happened. My GP is very kind that they give me 6 pills very much every now and then that I use when to relax as a “one off “. They’re great, and genuinely maybe I’ve taken like 12 pills in my entire life.

anyway I’ve just discovered my husband took my whole stash at some point because of “hip pain”. The irony is don’t even work for him!!!! I’m furious!!

It's difficult to source information on this but I've gathered we have three months before we will be given a digital ID in order to use social media. We will also not be able to work without it and so it will be compulsory (please check that information tis is just what I've gathered and it's hard to find all the information)

Will all the data from everything I typed on eg Mumsnet be collected and tied to the digital ID ? Every Google search or chat with ChatGPT in the past 5 years ?

Do we need to buy new devices and change our broadband provider before we are given this to protect our privacy ? Or is that just not enough as it is too late and they have our data already if we didn't use VPNs and use separate devices for social media and personal and civil accounts...

Maybe it's for a greater good that our privacy and free speech will be compromised but people are already in fear of getting arrested for saying the wrong thing online and for speaking against the government.

This will completely change how we communicate online. Some social media sites will still be accessible via Tor. I would appreciate input from anyone with knowledge and shared views on protecting our privacy and free speech

My 16 y.o. son would like to know what typical contact between teens his age and their grandparents looks like eg frequency, level of involvement in the teen's life. He is autistic.

He speaks to them on the phone a few times a week and sees them for the day with his dad at maybe 4-6 week intervals. He tells them about his ongoing friendship issues and about the girl he likes & his interactions with other boys who also like her.

They are currently telling him that he needs to ring them after every social event to update them on what happened & what was said. (By social events, I mean youth club type sessions which he goes to 3 times a week.)

I don't think this is a normal expectation and he would like to understand what kind of contact other teens have with their grandparents.

He will be reading replies.

I've name changed as possibly outing and I'm fully prepared to be told that IABU, but just wanted to know if I'm understanding the food bank issue here.
Friend has 3 DC, 2 of whom are primary school age. She's never worked due to childcare cost and her DH had his own business, which he sold as they are trying to emigrate to Australia (her parents emigrated there years ago) and he needs to get some specific qualifications so he studies part time and works part time. She told me recently things have been very tight and that she has been using a food bank weekly for the last year. I was really taken back as they get takeaways, the DC get new up to date sports wear and go on days out to theme parks, where they also buy food. They have 'summered' in Australia every year to visit her parents for the 6 weeks holidays. She was saying a few months ago that flights have really gone up this year so they might not go away. I said I understand, we cannot afford a holiday this year so suggested we could do some day trips together with the DC.
Saw her yesterday and she said she's just booked, it was very expensive but "we can't not go, the DC really wants to go". I assumed maybe her parents paid the tickets (she said it was £3.2k) but then she said she'd built up some savings due to not doing a big shop as she was using the food bank now. I was horrified by this, I donate to the food bank as to me it's a lifeline for those who need to feed their family. It's made me think differently of her but maybe AIBU here? DH said the food bank is there for those who need it, she's not doing anything wrong so to speak, but surely it's not there to help people save money for trips abroad?

Being vague but been told i might have a claim and i don't know what to do. had lifesaving surgery after an extended stay in hospital and negligence in care. has anyone done this? the limitation date is in a year so i need to decide whether to do it and if i do then who with.

What underwear do people wear under gym leggings to avoid VPL? Just standard adanola type leggings.

Please don't say go commando or thongs! I need something that will hold me in, and stay in place when lifting!

I was thinking fitted shorts type of thing? Does anyone have any good recommendations?

Daughter is graduating this year at University of Manchester. Just wondering what to wear? I’m thinking a long maxi dress with maybe a short sleeve white bolero cardigan/cover up.

Have bought some sandals from Clark’s which I hope will be comfy! Will they be smart enough though?

Each month, I allow myself £20 to play slots on an online gambling site. It’s only ever £20.

Friday night, I was playing and won the jackpot which was £1000.

I have a 3 year old and 10 month old.

DH and I run our own business. We live comfortably, very fortunate to be able to afford a holiday abroad once a year, we can afford our bills and food shopping, the kids clothes, birthdays and Christmases (within reason, we don’t spend thousands, 3 year old has £100 limit for Christmas and same for birthday). 10 month old will have the same, probably only £50 for first birthday due to it all being a bit pointless when he doesn’t understand, that’s what we did with DD for her first but anyway I’m rambling, you catch my drift.

Saturday morning, I told him I won the money. I transferred him £100 to pay for the airport parking (we go away next week), £150 to treat himself to some new trainers as he wants some smart ones he can wear out instead of his work ones. I also transferred £200 into our savings. £100 into each child’s savings accounts.

I then said that I’m going to treat my self to tear trough filler due to it being a madejce insecurity of mine (very dark circles and hollow). I’m 34 for reference and I have Botox twice a year (the lady I go to is a Dr and I wouldn’t let just anyone near my face with botox/filler etc). I never buy myself new clothes unless it’s a special occasion like a wedding etc.

I stopped getting my nails done 2 months ago because he moaned about the cost every 3 weeks (£28 plus £8 for eyebrow wax).

This blew up into a big argument once kids had gone to bed, he said that something that really hurt me “I’m not being funny but you don’t contribute financially or work”. This really upset me, if I went back to work I’d be paying my whole wage on nursery fees for my youngest so we agreed when we decided to try for a second baby that I would stay home for 2 years like I did with my daughter and then to back to work.

I’m feeling like I’m less than him because I don’t earn money, I feel like I’m not entitled to treat myself out of my winnings.

He’s doubling down and giving me the silent treatment today. He didn’t like it last night when I told him I’m a 34 year old woman and can do exactly what I like. He said I should have discussed it with him before booking in.

To be clear, our bills are up to date and no debt other than a couple of credit cards including a business one but they’re always paid off each month and no issues there.

I mean, I partially know the answer and it is because I have gained some weight so I’d say about half of my wardrobe doesn’t fit me as it should.
But I generally always have the feeling that I have nothing to wear and always go back to the same 2-3 outfits.

I probably own a dozen of shirts-blouses (that I also use for work), 6-7 tshirts in different colors, a dozen of jumpers, mostly quite chunky and cost knits. 3 sweatshirts. 3 sleeveless tops. 2 dresses. 4 pairs of jeans (2 of which don’t fit), 3 work trousers, 2 nice trousers that are too long to wear with most shoes (these were gifted and haven’t had them altered yet) and 2 comfy trousers.

This does not include workout clothes and pyjamas etc.
Does it sound as if I have very little or just unable to shop? I love clothes and consider myself someone who has a nice taste and don’t do impulse buy, shop a lot on vinted wtc but never feel I have nice clothes that suit me :(

Dd been at primary school for three years and in that time I’ve not made a single mum friend, they’ll only talk to me if I approach them first and then it’s just surface level stuff like the weather. Nothing to do with dds behaviour she’s a good girl and it’s been like this since reception. I do worry she might be missing out in the summer when the other mums meet up with the kids.
I had her at 16 so they’re all 10-20 years older than me, be honest would you want to be mum friends with someone that much younger than you? Or could it be something else?

Need help! Which of these dresses do you think is most appropriate to wear as a guest to a wedding in France. I love the first one but my daughter has said she thinks it’s too white (& therefore to be avoided in the tradition of only brides wear white). Would value any views. It’s going to be hot so I can’t add a coloured jacket. Many thanks!

i suppose this is a few AIBU in one so here goes!

For some context, I have a difficult relationship with my parents but a great relationship with grandparents. Owing to lots of different things I’m very much a people pleaser and usually go along with what everyone wants even to my own detriment.

I’m getting married and I am currently having the following issues:

1. My mother wants to do a speech at the wedding. When I say no she gets very affronted and says it isn’t fair my dad gets to do one (they are divorced and always acting like this). I’m honestly worried she’s going to tell the venue she’s doing one as a ‘surprise’. If she did do one it would be all about her and how wonderful she is.
2. My future SIL wants to be a bridesmaid and I don’t want her to be. I want my two best friends and my cousin (who is like my sister) to be my bridesmaids. SIL is very argumentative and keeps asking about it and isn’t really getting my hints. If it makes any difference I wasn’t allowed to be a bridesmaid at her wedding last year as “I might not be around in the future so it would be awkward if i was in all the pictures”.
3. i would like my grandad to walk me down the aisle. He is my best friend and practically raised me (along with my other grandparents). My mother is affronted I don’t want her when she’s “been so much better than my dad” and my dad is offended that I don’t want him even though he barely knows me. I’m tempted to have dad and grandad but I don’t really want to.
4. My dads wife is an alcoholic and has refused to not have a drink that day. My dad says if she can’t go then he won’t go. If she attends and drinks then she will cause a major kick off.
5. my fiancés nan is being extremely fussy over the menu. We’re having a pizza van to try and please all fussy eaters etc and she won’t eat “foreign food” so is kicking off that she’ll be hungry all day. (Kind of unrelated but at SILs wedding she only served food I was allergic to so I ordered a takeaway and ate outside! At no point did I even mention this at the time as it wasn’t my day)
6. we would like a child free wedding as we both had to raise our own siblings (who are now adults). We’d like an opportunity to let our hair down and have a fun party with other adults without worrying we’ll trip over a child! Fiancés family have said this isn’t fair to their 4-8 yr olds as they “love a party”

im sure I’ll think of some more but this is it at the moment! It’s also already so long I can see.

my AIBU is whether I should give in to any of these or whether I’m justified in putting my foot down for once and saying I want things my way for once (obviously my fiancés way too, he clearly has input into everything!)

We went camping over the weekend and it was the first time for a while all humans and dogs and all associated crap had left my house. I decided to get it deep cleaned so I could come back to a sparkly house and one less (huge) job off my list. When we came back, the house looked much like I left it - you could see some jobs had been done but most had been done at the bare minimum or not at all. I was super disappointed- it cost 18 pounds an hour and they billed me for 7 hours (2 people on the team at 3.5 hours each).

I took some pictures and videos and sent them to the owner who I had arranged the clean with and she was appalled and super apologetic - she was so gutted and I felt really bad for her. She sent most of my money back despite us agreeing to a much smaller refund and she offered to come and rectify what she could on her own. Her customer service was really above and beyond.

Now - my AUBU is this. We also have this company booked for our end of tenancy clean next month when we move. Am I being unreasonable to keep this with them and not find another company?

My family/friends think it was a crap job, you don't get another chance with an end of tenancy clean and we have just been burned - so more fool us if we kept the booking.

I think she rectified the issues immediately with the refund, she agreed it wasn't up to standard, she said she will do/supervise the end of tenancy clean herself and she said no payment before I inspect it. She clearly was upset and had used girls less experienced maybe as I had booked it in with very little notice, so I think she will do an extra good job the next time!

Name changed for this.

Been seeing someone for around a year and a half. This morning he casually dropped it into conversation that his daughter might have to move schools when they move. I asked where he was moving to and he said “I mean when we move in together?”

I said “who said anything about moving in together??” So he said “well not now obviously but at some point we will surely?” So I said “and where are you assuming we’ll live?”

Long story short he had it in his head that he and his daughter would be moving in to my house. His rationale is that I have “so much more space” and much more space than I need and it’s selfish to not want to share it.

I said I have no intention of having anyone live with me! He’s now gone off on a major strop saying I have too many unused bedrooms and it’s “unfair” etc

I think he has got his daughter believing they will be moving in to my house too. They live in a two bedroom house.

AIBU??

Bit of a weird one, but I just don't know what's left to look forward to in life... Late 40s, have travelled, got married, bought a house, had kids and feel like they don't need me much anymore. Got a job but feel like I'm too old to progress, as I took a long career break with the kids. My managers are 10 years younger than me so I feel pretty disillusioned and not on great pay.
I'm finding it hard to be interested in clothes or my appearance or going out socially. I cant go out on any work outings as I work part time and the work events are on on my day off when I'm with the kids.
I feel sorry for my husband as I can't get out of this rut of being boring.
What can I do? Life feels constantly busy, but also totally boring.

I’ve been pondering this recently. As a family we are careful with money. We earn a bit above average and we save around £1k per month. I shop on Vinted, our furniture is all preloved and we take inexpensive holidays (mostly camping).
Regularly I am obliged to spend money on things I don’t enjoy, and wouldn’t choose myself, but that’s just life. I am just pondering how much other people do this, and whether it bothers them.
One example is family days out. My in-laws visit once a month, and will often suggest we book somewhere nice for lunch as a treat. We split the cost, but it usually costs us £150-200. (man-child BIL doesn’t ever contribute, but that’s another story). As a family of four we would only ever do this as a celebration, not as a monthly thing. I don’t enjoy them, and I feel a bit resentful, I guess.
I often suggest cheaper options, but they get rejected.
The problem is, although I would much rather use the money for other things, we can afford it. So should I just suck it up?

Hi .. special event in 3 weeks! My legs are so pale. What do you recommend?