I posted a few years ago about ds and got some advice but also judgement

He's 16 and technically in year 11 but I told them he wasn't to do his exams as it's not worth the added pressure when he's missed so much school

It started at 13 when I got a call from his school after they saw self harm marks and from them everything has got worse, I was constantly fobbed off by the gp who put it down to hormones. He sees camhs now but frankly they're useless. His anxiety is bad which is why he isn't going to school in the first place, he doesn't sleep at night due to his anxiety. He self harms and smokes weed/drinks something he's been doing since he was 14. He attempted suicide at 14 and has twice since then including in March which was a serious attempt which he had planned in advance and it wasn't impulsive like the previous 2. I told them I didn't feel he was safe at home and was told to just lock everything away which we have done

Because he's not at school one of us has to be with him but we work so it's hard and we also have a 9yo together and are trying to protect him as much as possible. I don't sleep most nights because I'm worried about him and he's constantly on a downward spiral, mine and partners relationship is also suffering. I find myself snapping at DS1 a lot for example a few weeks ago he was wearing his hoodie in the heatwave and complaining and I snapped at him then and felt guilty after

Partner took both boys to the fair which was a big step as eldest barely wants to go outside anymore at least not to busy places, he goes for walks on his own (which I hate) but that's it. He ended up wandering off so DP left youngest with his brother and went to find him. He was sat on some grass crying, DP sat with him but DS wouldn't tell him what was wrong and just got up and walked away when he was finished

Today we planned a movie night with youngest and told him this morning before school but then plans changed as eldest had snuck out this afternoon and DP had gone to find him (I was working, DP was WFH) and he was drunk and covered in sick and shouting at people walking past for laughing at him (including children who had been picked up from school).

DP asked MIL to pick youngest up and he's sleeping over at hers but youngest is now upset too and said <brother ruins everything> when I was on the phone to him as MIL had told him eldest was poorly and I can't help but agree even if it's not his fault, I feel like he's ruining youngest’s childhood and I have no idea how long we can continue protecting him for

I just feel like I cant cope with him anymore, I've fought for help from school, CAMHS, gp and nothing. The most the school did was give him a reduced timetable a few weeks before the end of year 10 and he went the most he had all year but then they said they couldn't do it in year 11

Hi!

ww normally go abroad for 2 weeks in the summer but have decided to stay in the uk this year. Planning 9 nights in the uk.

We live in Amersham.

thinking a few nights in the new forest and a few nights in the bath and then a few nights in either Cornwall/devon/dorset?!

I sm very confused though! Looking for a lovely hotel or air b n b and keep flipping from Durdle door to Newquay and looking into other places too.

please can someone suggest where we should go?

thank you so much!

Does anyone else hide the amount of work they do outside of regular work hours from their families?

My work is so busy at the moment and there really aren't enough hours in the day. My family are great and know that I WFH after I come home from my place of work most evenings and weekends, but there are periods every year where I find I start to 'hide' my working as I know DP and DC think it's too much.

Recently, I've started to get up early on weekends before they get up, to 'go to the gym', but I just drive off and sit in a carpark on my laptop for a couple of hours, before I go back home to say good morning and tell them I'm going to 'start' working. If they think I've 'done something for me', like go to the gym, it's as if it's easier for them to accept the hours I work from home.

The same with the evenings, I might invent an errand or a class, and pull over somewhere and just crack on with some admin or emails for an hour and then get back home and officially 'start' working. I can't claim any overtime as it is just part of my salaried role -I think this is why they feel it's 'unfair' somehow, as DP can bill for overtime.

I don't think they're unreasonable; it's probably me who's overdoing it and I don't like pretending, but I also can't fit what my role demands into 'reasonable' hours. I feel quite trapped as we need my income and I can't see things changing any time soon. Tell me it's not just me.

We were all exhausted this weekend, and literally didn't move further than 1 mile from our house.

How is it possible to spend so much money going nowhere and doing nothing?

I found a moth in my wardrobe. Luckily, I managed to lock it in before it crawled into my ear and ate my brain and messaged my mum for help evicting it before it eats my clothes or worse... escapes.

She's just replied that we will need to look for eggs.

Moth Eggs.

Obviously, the entire wardrobe and everything in it now needs to be burned. In fact, the whole house might need cleansing with fire.

I am not being unreasonable.

Please help me! I fear I am asking the impossible.

I don't know how to put an outfit together at the best of times and I have a wedding to go to at the end of the month. I have spent hours looking online for something to wear.

My problems are that I'm short, over weight and busty.
I need to wear trainers for disability reasons so would like trousers (16 short) and ideally would like to hide my upper arms just for self conscious reasons (something that works with a larger chest - 38H so size really depends, 14-18 but I could order a few and return.)

I have been trying to shift some weight but haven't managed enough to get into my last wedding outfit so I really do need to get my arse in gear now.
I don't want to look like I'm going to work in an office but any searches for occasion wear are dresses or sleeveless tops 😩

My day to day wardobe is super casual as I work as an SEN support assistant so I'm dressed for playing on the floor or in the playground, so I've had no practice at all at dressing up for a good 15 years since I used to have a social life 😂

As I said, I fear I'm asking the impossible here but would really appreciate any tips - even just styles of tops, or brands for bigger boobs I could be googling.

Thank you so much for any pointers!

My DDs wedding is fast approaching and although I've tried on many dresses and have kind of got an ok dress, I'm not 100% sure it's the one. Wedding will be bright and colourful, church followed by gorgeous victorian conservatory venue reception. I'm 56, 5'8 Sz 14-16 with a largishbust/hourglass figure.
I want a block coloured magenta/,fuscia pink which i think will complement my hair which is salt& pepper but is being grey blended and styled before the big day.

Can I have your honest (but not too harsh) opinions please?
The one I think I'll go with is fron Wallis from vinted having exhausted my search for a new one online. I can upload the others that I have also bought.

Also to say I prefer longer length as I do have a pesky varicose vein in my calf that I'm a bit self conscious of.

Bit of a weird one, but I just don't know what's left to look forward to in life... Late 40s, have travelled, got married, bought a house, had kids and feel like they don't need me much anymore. Got a job but feel like I'm too old to progress, as I took a long career break with the kids. My managers are 10 years younger than me so I feel pretty disillusioned and not on great pay.
I'm finding it hard to be interested in clothes or my appearance or going out socially. I cant go out on any work outings as I work part time and the work events are on on my day off when I'm with the kids.
I feel sorry for my husband as I can't get out of this rut of being boring.
What can I do? Life feels constantly busy, but also totally boring.

Background

My father's elderly brothers and sisters are hard work, and I avoid them as much as I can - there are loads of them, and they love a good moan. Everything always could have been better, done better or handled better if you had only just done as they wanted or as they said.

My Dad died at the beginning of the year in an unexpected and fraught way. While I was abroad trying to get it sorted, my siblings ended up having to run a campaign of interference because they were hounding me so much that I was not able to actually get stuff done and sort out the issues at hand. They made a horrible situation so much worse with the constant drama. (They were being regularly updated) One Aunt, to give you a flavour of the issues, kept ringing and ringing because she wanted me to take time away from sorting the cremation/repatriation, and take a two-day trip during my 'holiday' to his house in a different city to find a particular photo.

To my issue

This afternoon, I have come home to being CC'd into an email to the photo Aunt from a relative in Canada who is checking in about some aspects of catering and accommodation for the service/wake.

We have not planned a service/wake.

1. He had been very clear that he didn't want one
2. His partner doesn't want to have one
3. His wife (our mother - they remained on very good terms - but split for many years) doesn't want to have one
4. My siblings agree with his, his partner and our Mums wishes
5. Our plan was a small remembrance event next year, which would have been a significant birthday of his and more in his style/wants
6. He cost us all a fortune because of the poor choices he made at the time, so there is no money for an event right now, regardless

It appears my Aunt has taken it upon herself to plan something without asking us, which would be fine, she can plan an event for his side of the family - they can grieve in the way they choose to.....

However, she has now sent an email to the attention of the executor of the estate attaching invoices for catering/bar costs, printed sundries, flowers and venue fees for an eye-watering sum of money.

The email I wrote in reply was blistering.....in no way tactful, insensitive to the fact they are grieving too and not in the slightest bit polite, and I was banned by my siblings from sending it lest I start a whole new world war.

I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO tempted to just send it anyway, and be damned with them all that I need to be talked down.

Does anyone have any tips for really useful things to take away with them when travelling. It’s just a short haul trip bit long haul too? Things that have made life easier. I have just discovered packing cubes…but late to the game but have really organised my suitcase!

What do you think. My DP always says this but I think it is very strange and old fashioned to say this instead of just saying you are running a bath?

Since at least 2 pm. Terraces with on street parked so directly outside the house. He is has just been sat there all the time, engine on for half an hour then off again, presumably to stop the battery draining if he is using something electrical.

There are plenty of car parks in the area so no reason to be here. He saw my come back and go in the house so presumably its nothing to do with me, but its freaking me out a bit (and pissed me off as I had to park on another road!).

We are not on a road with shops or a school or doctors etc so no reason to be waiting there for someone for such a long time!

Worth taking the reg in case he comes back tomorrow do we think?

Looking at the coverage of Peter Phillips’ wedding I’m amazed by some of the outfits. Clearly a lot of these people have money but it really doesn’t show - some of the choices look very unstylish to me. Creased dresses, raffia wedges, mismatched accessories. I appreciate it was a rubbish day weather-wise so may have needed a few last minute rethinks but what hope is there for the rest of us when even those with access to the best designers and a presumably healthy budget look pretty average at best.

i don’t want some paid influencer to tell me, i want real people to!

• cyberjammies- the best most comfy pj’s I’ve ever had I now have 3 pairs
• snag tights. I’ll never wear other tights again
• Laura gelled face powder makeup- specifically bronzer to go which has a poof and a mirror built in

yours?

Has anyone else noticed how chewy supermarkets chicken is recently ?? I’ve tried various chicken breast fillets from supermarkets, yesterday had Ocado own brand diced chicken breast and again it’s rubbery and chewy!
Why is it so hard to find nice chicken?! Where is everyone buying their chicken from? Ideally I’d like organic but the cost of it is ridiculous!

Did anyone watch this?

It was really unsettling watch. For loads of different reasons.

Hearing about what those people did was awful ☹️ and Richard actually watched the video of it!!

Do you think they do torture/punish the prisoners and that's how they're kept in line?

They're very compliant from what we saw.

It was an enlightening watch because I had no idea about all the things in the programme

Desperately looking for an oak 7 drawer chest of drawers, at least 1.2m wide with the 4 larger drawers being deep. Does anyone have any recommendations as I know what I want but can't find the right one!

My son is getting married next year. June wedding. Someone on her recommended this dress for someone else. I went ahead and ordered it - a size smaller as that was all that was available. It has some weight to it and I love it but is it a bit cheapskate for mother of the groom. The money is not www.debenhams.com/product/jolie-moi-angel-sleeve-tiered-hem-maxi-dress_p-3e6c2c44-815f-42c7-b1db-67eae670cce8?colour=Multi&size=10&gclsrc=aw.ds&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=22915808283&gbraid=0AAAAABevdS7lom0v68CypUOUtJ7wI713e&gclid=Cj0KCQjwio_RBhDMARIsAJPveNPX9QJHogyDX5JR4S_T4TALqJat6EcPACrQj2f_XntgPAeZTx04zrkaAnTFEALw_wcB

Looking for some ideas for my 40th Birthday Outfit - Venue is a nice pub for a family dinner and then drinks afterwards at the pub/ other bars in my fairly nice commuter town.

I liked and bought this Buy Reiss Pink Dia Petite Tipped Wide-Leg Belted Jumpsuit from the Next UK online shop but the fit wasn't quite right for me and the size up was too big. Any ideas for something similar if this is my kind of style?

Size 8, 5ft 2, Dark hair with blue eyes.

Thanks in advance!

It's set in the 1920s and '30s in the US dustbowl and is a sort of family saga. It is an awesome book.
It was a book club choice, and I wasn't thrilled, because a) I've read something before by her and didn't like it much (something about women pilots in Afghanistan), and b) I'm not interested in American novels as a rule.
But I found it un-putdownable. The writing is very skilful. Its style is spare - no word is wasted. It touches on man-made climate change, migrants (unwanted in the place they migrate to), the workers' rights movement, and above all, family relationships. It made me re-think my relationship with my mother and made me cry (twice!). It sounds like a misery-fest but it isn't totally - lots of unexpected twists and is ultimately uplifting, and I learnt loads. I'm glad I got it in hardback (from the library) because it is long!

Briefly

with BD 15 years, 4 kids

recently I filed for divorce and ended our joint claim of benefits
he works and I worked from being 16 up until the children’s needs ment I could no longer work.

he’s saying this is fraud as we live together and go on holidays still….

here is the tricky part .
We have 2 children with extreme medically complex needs so I can’t just leave as our home is fully adapted for them but it’s only his name on the mortgage so I’m kinda screwed with that but in the same breath we get no help or support it’s literally just us doing full time care so with the other 2 kids and sports/activities/appointments I don’t think we’d ever be able to live separately because we rely on each other so much to cover the slack if something is happening elsewhere with another child or we have to rush somewhere for an emergency theirs someone here at all times? But regardless of that we’ve agreed to make this situation work for everyone’s sake as it makes life so much more easier.

I claimed single because we now are separated, I wanted to take control of my own finances instead of him getting every penny to his bank and me still asking for petrol money or money for nursery etc.
so now I pay 50/50 for all household bills and I pay for everything the kids need like trips, toiletries, nursery and then fuel. Only fair.

im just really worried cos since I did this he’s saying I’m going to be in the paper for fraud…. I asked HMRC Before I did it what was I best to do and they talked me though how to do it (I’m rubbish with benefits and all that Iv never actually done it myself)

we sleep in separate rooms
we have separate lives totally
yes we do go on holiday, we went away at the beginning of the year with the kids but we stayed in separate hotels literally other side of the resort, we went on a trip the other month but we had 2 rooms booked so I stayed with my mum and 2 kids in 1 and he stayed with 2 kids in the other?
We go for memories with the kids all together as we don’t know how long we have with the oldest 2 but physically I’d not be able to do it alone as it’s a lot of lifting and their the same size as me now plus it’s just hard work in general theirs so much to going away not as simple as get a bag and go.
We actually get on okay now the stress has gone as a couple but I’m just worried because we do live together but we aren’t anymore ! I hate benefits I really bloody do but Iv got no choice and I feel I can’t win!

any advice I’d appreciate, just over thinking right now

I've ordered a lovely shirred dress from Hush. Trouble is, it's sleeveless. I am 50s and have just lost some weight and have horrible crepey wobbly arms. So I'm thinking of what would look stylish to wear over it? Suggestions welcome!

Hello you lovely stylish people.
Im the frumpy aunt. I want to be the stylish aunt. Please help. I’m 60. 5ft 4inches. In reasonable shape. I’ve no idea where to start with the colourful cocktail dress code. The wedding is in London in August. Budget up to £300. I’ve been procrastinating so any ideas, styles and tips very gratefully received.

I’m In a massive panic, I had a lump on bum and it went hard painful and incouldnt sit dr said boil and gave me some cream and that was few months ago and still got it, looking through recently pictures of my moles on my bum I’ve realised November this spot was small and there now I’m in a massive panic and so scared it’s something bad pictures will be added as anyone else had a spot lump like this and lasted months

I have a very overbearing HV who has told me that she is ‘concerned’ by how I’m weaning dd!

we have a lot of allergies in the family - she has told me to give dd these things to ‘ desensitise her and stop an allergy developing’ that early exposure will mean she won’t be allergic . I said no early exposure will just risk an earlier reaction !

She also said baby led is now the default and she isn’t happy that we are doing traditional weaning. I’ve heard you can opt out - if I do this will it cause problems? I simply don’t want her interfering anymore and criticising me .