Welcome to Thread 4! 🥳

And here we are again! 😂 A huge thank you to everyone who's been sharing spoilers, links, bargains, discount codes and enabling each other over the first three threads. ❤️

As agreed, we're taking it in turns to start each new thread null this year. If this thread starts getting close to the reply limit, please post to let everyone know you're happy to start the next one so we can avoid duplicate threads.

🎅 A few festive housekeeping notes;
🎁 This thread contains spoilers.
🎄 Please be kind and respectful to one another.
💸 No judging anyone for their purchasing choices (or how many calendars they buy... we're all enablers here! 😂).
🎀 Feel free to share spoilers, offers, discount codes, GWPs, delivery updates and stock alerts.

🎁 Available Now

Liberty – £285 (Beauty Drop members receive £25 off). Full contents revealed and available to order.
https://www.libertylondon.com/uk/beauty-advent-calendar

P. Louise – £250. Available to pre-order with payment instalments available.
https://plouise.co.uk/collections/wonderful-world-of-p-louise-advent-calendar/products/what-glows-around-2026-advent-calendar

John Lewis – Available on pre-sale via the app for MyJL members.
https://beauty-detective.com/john-lewis-beauty-advent-calendar-2026/

Harrods Beauty Advent Calendar – Now on pre-sale.
https://www.harrods.com/en-gb/p/harrods-of-london-the-harrods-beauty-advent-calendar-2026-000000000000284475

Harrods 12 Days of Hair & Body – Now on pre-sale.
https://www.harrods.com/en-gb/p/harrods-of-london-the-harrods-12-days-of-hair-and-body-advent-calendar-2026-000000000000284465

Harrods Fragrance Advent Calendar – Pre-sale currently sold out. Expected back in-store during September (date TBC).
https://beauty-detective.com/harrods-fragrance-advent-calendar-2026/

Vogue Festive Calendar – Available to pre-order. https://shop.vogue.co.uk/products/vogue-festive-calendar-2026

Fortnum & Mason Beauty Advent Calendar – Available to pre-order.
https://www.fortnumandmason.com/fortnums-beauty-advent-calendar-2026

Anthropologie 24 Day Beauty Advent Calendar – Available to pre-order.
https://www.anthropologie.com/en-gb/shop/24-days-of-beauty-advent-calendar5

The Fragrance Shop - Available for pre-order
Women's Advent Calendar https://www.thefragranceshop.co.uk/the-fragrance-shop/the-fragrance-shop/gift-box-advent/p/76306
Men's Advent Calendar https://www.thefragranceshop.co.uk/the-fragrance-shop/the-fragrance-shop/gift-box-advent/p/76307

⏳ Coming Soon / Waitlists

Cult Beauty
https://www.cultbeauty.co.uk/c/advent-calendar/

Harvey Nichols
Beauty:
https://www.harveynichols.com/harvey-nichols/harvey-nichols-beauty-advent-calendar-2026-75896-258491/
Fragrance:
https://www.harveynichols.com/harvey-nichols/harvey-nichols-12-days-of-fragrance-advent-calendar-2026-75906-258490/

John Lewis Fragrance
https://beauty-detective.com/john-lewis-fragrance-advent-calendar-2026/

Space NK
https://www.spacenk.com/uk/gifts/beauty-advent-calendars/beauty-advent-calendar-MUK200063764.html

Elle
https://beauty-detective.com/elle-advent-calendar-2026/

Fortnum & Mason
Spoilers:
https://beauty-detective.com/fortnum-mason-beauty-advent-calendar-2026/
Waitlist: https://www.fortnumandmason.com/beauty-advent-calender-sign-up-2026

Boots (including the new fragrance calendar) https://www.boots.com/christmas/advent-calendars/advent-calendar-waiting-list

Sephora UK
Spoilers:
https://beauty-detective.com/sephora-uk-advent-calendar-2026/
Waitlist: https://www.sephora.co.uk/c/beauty-advent-calendar-waitlist

Selfridges (Beauty & Fragrance)
https://beauty-detective.com/selfridges-beauty-advent-calendar-2026/
Fragrance https://beauty-detective.com/selfridges-fragrance-advent-calendar-2026/

LookFantastic Beauty
https://www.lookfantastic.com/c/waitlist/advent/?srsltid=AfmBOoovzs9M5Kt8-RM_31Q3_-JOa6N51uGggpe0hglvZbxC5Of7AFTH

LookFantastic Fragrance
https://beauty-detective.com/lookfantastic-fragrance-advent-calendar-2026/

Glossybox
https://beauty-detective.com/glossybox-advent-calendar-2026/

OK! Beauty Box
https://beauty-detective.com/ok-beauty-box-advent-calendar-2026/

Fenwick – Loyalty members null 20 August | General release null 25 August
https://fenwick.co.uk/blogs/daily-muse/fragrance-beauty-25-day-advent-calendar

Next spoilers
https://beauty-detective.com/next-beauty-advent-calendar-2026/

Debenhams – waiting list
https://www.debenhams.com/pages/beauty-advent-calendar

💄 More Calendars & Spoilers

Rather than making the opening post a mile long, here's a brilliant roundup of lots more advent calendars and the latest spoilers, including Charlotte Tilbury, Jo Malone, Elemis, Lancôme, Tatcha, NEOM, Neal's Yard Remedies, Holland & Barrett, YesStyle and many more as they're announced.

👉 https://beauty-detective.com/category/beauty-advent-calendars/ 👈

🎅 Happy advent season everyone! 🎁

Here's hoping for lots more spoilers, bargains, discount codes, and maybe a little self-control (although that's already gone for some 😄)

Am I going insane??

Two adults.

One is cycling in to the local high street for a coffee with child. Coffee spot literally across the street from M&S.

One is driving in to the same town centre to drop off a child at the library, will not be getting out of the car, but because of the layout of the road will have to drive past the back of the same M&S.

one adult suggests to the other that they pop in and pick up some rolls and cold cuts for lunch, as they will be feet away from the shop, bikes already chained up.

the cycling adult says they think the other adult should do it, they are driving right past it. Driving adult explains they have no intention of getting out of the car, so it would add on a car parking space faff/fee.

they’ve reached an impasse, as both adults think it makes more sense for the other to go.

thoughts please?

Dd usually plays with a few children from our neighbourhood at the weekend. She’s just been to call at her best friends house. He said he can come, but only when he’s finished doing the housework (mum, dad and him seem to be cleaning)
Do you do this with your Dc, it seemed a bit sad for him or is it in fact good to start children early?
How much tidying/chores etc do your children do, of a similar age?
I ask Dd to tidy up after she’s had toys out and to tidy her room. Sometimes she does it without issue, other times arguments/complaining.

Where do you stand on this?

Ds just finished school, A-level results disappointing to say the least. He managed to get himself a really good apprenticeship place which he's now lost because he missed a required grade by 2 marks. (Paper has been sent for review, but not holding out much hope that the grade will change). The plan now is for him to find himself another apprenticeship place, though it will have to be at a lower level.

But after DS was rude to me yesterday, I've decided that now is the time for me to step back and stop doing so much for him. I found him the original apprenticeship, because he was told to look but didn't bother. I helped him with the psychometric testing, the video interviews. Put loads of effort into trying to get him to revise when school told us he was probably going to fail. The moment he was left to his own devices he watched videos on you tube and insisted that was enough revision. You get the idea. He's failed his driving test 3 times, only goes out to practise if I tell him we are going.

All of this makes DH very stressed. His way of dealing with this is to tell me a list of things DS needs to be doing. I've realised that I've been babying DS in order to calm DH's anxiety and I just can't do it any more. It hasn't worked, I've put my own life on hold for months, and I'm exhausted.

Ds has spent the day in his room allegedly applying for an apprenticeship. I have said, if you want help, you know where I am and left it at that. DH is in a foul mood, foul tempered, stress farting, saying every 10 minutes 'what is DS doing? We need to look at what he's doing. He can't just be left to do it. Why is it taking so long? What has he been doing all day? He's got to write his answers in a word doc and run them through chat gpt.'Etc etc. he hasn't actually gone to Ds and said let me help, he's just dumped his stress on me but I have not budged. I know DH wants me to take over and just write the application. It is obviously driving him up that wall that I have said it is up to DS now.

Aibu?

Cost of higher end make up- going up and up.

I used to buy lots of higher end brands but didn't feel they were a rip off (I'm excluding most of Dior and Chanel here and other very £££ brands.)

But now so much make up is pricy.

I buy Bobbi Brown foundation - was £25 for ages now over £40 gradually crept up.
Nars blusher- £20-ish now £35
Lancome mascara - now £25+

I've swapped the foundation for Loreal for everyday use.
Pencils like lip liner and eye pencil- Elf and Loreal.
Mascara - Loreal Panorama
Blusher- still stuck as I am super pale so still Nars and Laura Mercier.

Has anyone else noticed this?
I now think twice before buying and in any case I just buy when it's run out.

I promised DD that she could get her ears pierced after primary school. Her new school doesn’t allow earrings. I’ve been told that studs need to be left in for eight weeks…so basically she can’t have them done until she leaves secondary school…or sits in isolation room for a fortnight after a summer holiday (another child and parent were told this). Transparent earrings or plasters over them aren’t allowed either. It’s a school that seems to pride itself on going further on petty dogma than other schools in the borough, but not going as far where more important stuff (clamping down on bullying, standard of teaching) is concerned.

Currently on holiday - 2 week AI with husband and teenage daughter. Had a really busy year and was really looking forward to downtime and just recharging with the 3 of us.
On the second day was relaxing by the pool when a little boy about 4yo dropped his goggles near my lounger. Threw them into the pool for him, he threw them back and we had a little game of catch with them. Really sweet kid, thought no more of it.
Went to the buffet that night and the boy appeared at my feet as I was getting my food, started pulling at my arm, hanging off me whining "play with me" and asking me to go outside with him to play?!
My daughter came up to me and said she'd been passing his parents table and heard the mum say "he's whinging because hes tired, I told him to go play with that woman from earlier." Laughing and drinking while I'm trying to get my food and stop her kid from getting lost or hurt.
Went to sit down, said "I'm eating now, so go back to Mummy." Watched him go back over, his mum looked really annoyed, said something to him and he came back!
He said "my mum said I can sit with you until you're done then we can play."
Tried to eat but he was non stop, picking things up, touching things, whinging - not my child, why am I dealing with this?!
In the end DH walked him back over and firmly said we were trying to eat. Mum had the nerve to ask if our daughter had ever been a toddler.
Anyway, he harassed me at the entertainment that night to the point we left as I couldn't see his Mum so dropped him with the entertainment team. Makes DH very uncomfortable as he's very full on, climbing on our knees, wrapping his legs around us.
Breakfast this morning - he's actually waiting at the double doors and it was a repeat of the previous night. I actually suspect Mum is hiding from us.

What do I do?!

Need some perspective on this and whether my head needs a wobble.

So me and DH have been together for 10 years, we have 3 kids together. We met in London and moved to a small town for his work after our first DC was born.

Recently he went away for a planned lads holiday to Malaga with his uni mates as they’re all turning 40. I don’t know the mates well, they all bar 1 came to the wedding, one was his best man who was incredibly drunk and didn’t do the best speech due to this. I’m only mentioning this because heavy drinking is the norm when these guys get together.

They went to Spain for 4 days, due to fly back on Sunday lunchtime. Originally he had booked to come back on a flight to get him home for 7pm, I had said that was later than I thought he would be back. He then booked a different flight that would have him home for 4pm - this is important.

I didn’t hear from DH much at all, I hadn’t expected to tbh because he was with his friends although it would have been nice to have the odd text checking in as the kids were being very hard work! On Saturday he phoned from his mates phone to tell me he had been mugged the previous evening, he was very drunk and got pushed over and his phone stolen. He thankfully wasn’t hurt and nothing else was stolen. I asked him to buy a cheap phone while he was out there so he wasn’t impossible to reach, I had his mates number but that’s it. I was not having the best time with the kids, they were being very hard work and the crap weather and no car didn’t help.

Saturday lunchtime we speak and I told him what a rough time I was having, the kids were being unusually difficult and I was exhausted. He made sympathetic noises, the call ended. I survived the day (!) and Sunday came. DH hadn’t bought a phone, he called me from his mates phone at about 10ish local time and told me he was heading to the airport shortly (flight departed 12pm local time).

4pm rolled around, not home. Check arrivals, flight landed and he had only hand luggage but traffic etc. 5pm, nothing. 6pm, nothing. I start getting worried, where is he? Is he okay? Did he get on the flight? Did something happen? We live 30-40 minutes from the airport, no traffic showing. I try contacting his friend just to make sure there hadn’t been any issues in Spain, he doesn’t answer. Go out for a walk with the kids as I’m anxious and on edge. Get home at 7.30pm and he walks in about 7.45pm. Says he had to get the second flight of the 2 he booked, the first one was overbooked.

I’m confused now because why didn’t he just call/text me to tell me? I had spent half the afternoon worrying for nothing! His friend had been at the airport with him for a bit, why not just let me know? I was annoyed about this as I couldn’t understand why he wouldn’t have just got in touch as he knew I was expecting him on the first flight. I’m just confused because nothing is making sense. DH keeps repeating the story, flight overbooked and I asked what he did while waiting, he said he was just sat in the airport waiting for the second flight. I asked him why he didn’t try to reach me somehow, there would have been ways.

His friend comes back to me on Monday and says DH’s flight was after his and there were no issues. Now I’m more confused because that would mean DH friends flight was before 12pm but I spoke to him at 10am local time and they weren’t at the airport. I called DH on this and said BULLSHIT I think you and your mates decided you coming home on the first flight ruined the fun so you decided to just not get on the first flight and didn’t tell me because you knew I’d be annoyed.

Eventually he admits yes. He had got to the airport for the first flight and didn’t want to leave so he decided fuck it I’ll get the later flight and knew I’d be pissed so didn’t tell me. Had a couple more beers with his mates till they all got their flights and then he got the later one and decided to tell me the first one was overbooked.

I am very hurt by this. Am I being a dick? He knew I had had a tough weekend, he knew I was exhausted, he knew I thought he would be back earlier and he knew I’d be hurt he opted not to get back sooner (I appreciate it’s only a few hours) and decided to lie to me and keep lying. As far as I know he’s never done anything like this before he’s usually a shit liar and wears his heart on his sleeve. We’ve been through a lot together and I really am hurt by it.

I’m less bothered by the fact he had had a lovely time with mates and didn’t want the holiday to end versus the lying to me and not communicating to me, knowing I hadn’t had the easiest weekend. It just feels out of character.

AIBU?

My DH and I have been together for 10 years, married for 7.

Recently I feel like nothing I do is good enough for him. Not in the sense that he's negative or angry but more in a needy sense.

For example, I don't hug him enough, I don't want to cuddle in bed enough, I don't tell him I love him enough, I don't say nice things to him enough, I don't randomly ask him if he's ok enough and so on ...

Now I appreciate this could just be seen as someone wanting to feel more loved but I don't think I am that terribly unloving.

We have a young child, I'm often touched out. I do practically everything in the home. I feel like everything I do is for other people and now someone wants even more of me.

I don't cuddle to sleep, that is just not me. It never has been. I like to have a little scroll on my phone as it feels like the only alone time I get to just sit and do something a bit mind numbing, but that's not good enough.

I'm more than happy to cuddle on the sofa when watching TV and I do feel like I actually initiate hugs a lot of the time. However it ALWAYS ends up sexual. I've brought this up with H a few times now and he doesn't get it. "At least he wants me" is the type of answer I'll get. Whereas I end up feeling like it's all he wants me for. 90% of the time I can't hug him without it turning into a bum / boob squeeze or some comment about sex.

When he said I don't ask if he's ok enough I pointed out to him that I literally, THAT DAY, had asked him if he was alright and gave him a hug because he seemed a little stressed but apparently that's not good enough because I should ask more just generally.

He thinks he says nice things to me all the time but I never do but again it's ALL sexually charged. It's always about me being "fit" or looking good (with the face or hint about wanting something). It's never about me being beautiful or how he appreciates what I do for our family or anything that I feel is actually meaningful to me.

A perfect example on my part is that I have a hobby that I enjoy. It's the only real thing aside from work, family and friends that I enjoy. He never asks me about it, he never asks how it's going, he never wants to watch, he never encourages it or feels supportive. In fact sometimes he feels cooler when I get home, probably because we aren't having tea until later that one night a fortnight I do it. Things like that make me think we'll hang on, you don't actually care about me as a person. You're not interested in things that make me happy. It's about you, it's about sex and it's about what I can do for you.

I feel like I spend my whole life basically doing things for other people and it's still not enough. It's not good enough because I spend half an hour scrolling on my phone to wind down, it's still not enough because I don't want to cuddle to sleep, it's not enough because I don't ask if he's ok enough.

Whenever I bring this up I "don't get it" or I'm "not understanding what he's saying".

Basically he doesn't feel loved apparently. But I don't think I have much else to give right now.

Tonight We watched Free willy, I haven't seen it in at least 25 years!

My DD (11) was asking if they used a real whale in captivity to make a film about a whale in captivity.
I know this sounds absolutely ridiculous, But I always thought it was robotic and clever camera scenes.

So we googled it and they actually used a real life whale named Keiko in captivity.

Keiko was captured in 1979 when he was 2 years old. He was sold many times
There was major outcry after the film, and he was released back into the wild but died a few years later pneumonia after not being able to join a pod.

Just how awful is that.

I’m fortunate in that my mother isn’t a narcissist, abusive, etc etc. which makes me feel guiltier about the situation!

I am, by nature, impatient and need to overcome this. It especially comes out in discussions or disagreements with my mother. She is, fundamentally, a lovely person but just… clueless. In a way that I find totally irritating.

E.g. today she asked if the baby’s nappies were recyclable. Like, what??? A used nappy? I wasted some time explaining that used nappies are not now and never have been recyclable. The conversation ended on a sour note and I hate when that happens. This was a minor thing really, but the little things make up life and it would be so much better to have good-humoured conversations when we meet up.

I don’t know why she’s so clueless! She had a professional career and speaks multiple languages. She can be very wise and helpful. I don’t know if it’s the start of cognitive decline or if she just doesn’t put in the effort to think things through before speaking.

I would hate for my baby to quarrel with me like I do with my mother. I’m sure she is upset by it too. I try to apologise every time and my mother always says it’s fine, she understands I’m stressed etc.

I need to get my act together but I have no idea where to start!

has anyone else overcome this issue or at least improved their attitude?

Looking for some suggestions/inspiration on what jewellery 'piece' to get next!

Our anniversary is coming up so DH has asked what I'd like - in the last few years he's always got me jewellery and is happy for me to choose myself.

So far he's bought me:

• White gold diamond and emerald engagement ring
• White gold and diamond wishbone wedding ring, he bought me another the same for our first anniversary so I wear one on each side of my engagement ring
• Emerald and diamond drop earrings
• White and rose gold watch
• white gold teardrop emerald ring (I wear on right hand)
• white and yellow gold hoop earrings
• yellow gold diamond cross necklace
• as well as a few other "cheaper" bits, a lovely pair of silver earrings with green stones on holiday, a yellow gold double ring, some nice silver stud earrings.

I like mixing golds, like dainty more 'classic' styles and am looking for ideas rather than set pieces or brands - we like going to jewellery and antique shops together to pick something out.

Two things I've thought of are maybe a plainer wedding ring to wear all the time (but not sure how this will fit with existing rings?) Or a bangle/bracelet? I don't think his budget will stretch to a tennis bracelet at the moment, but maybe a bangle would be nice?

Thanks in advance for any help!

My husband is stuck in the bathroom - the door has jammed!

Does anyone know any tricks for unsticking doors?! I’ve tried googling but can’t work it out. He’s been in there over half an hour now.

DD4 is going through a bit of a deep sleeping wetting the bed phase, we were busy today so I put 2 sets of her sheets on a long eco wash and stuck them on the line when we got back.

Half an hour later the whole garden is white, crazy amounts of smoke from next door and the worst smell of ligher fluid I've ever encountered.

I'm not sure how I'm going to get the waterproof sheets dry and I'm worried the whole street is about to go up in flames!

This guy I have known for 10 years sent me a follow request on Instagram two days ago then I think he deleted it because when I clicked on the notification the follow request wasn't there. When we first met 10 years ago we said we found each other attractive and we kissed once but then he disappeared because he thought that I wanted to get back with my ex boyfriend who he also knew. Me and that ex boyfriend didn't get back together but that ex boyfriend loved me for a very long time. Sadly that ex boyfriend passed away last year and this guy knows about that. This guy reconnected with me last year by sending me a message on Facebook. He apologised for disappearing ten years ago and explained why that happened. After a few months of sending each other messages and talking on video calls and sending each other photos and videos of ourselves we told each other that our feelings for each other had come back. We met up in person once and he stayed over at my house for a few days. He helped me with housework and cooked us a meal while he was at my house. We were intimate with each other very quickly while he was at my house. We kissed and gave each other oral sex but we didn't have full intercourse because we couldn't physically do it. After that he kept changing his mind about wanting to be in a relationship with me to wanting to be friends . It was long distance because we don't live near each other. He said he is a damaged person because he has been in lots of toxic relationships and hasn't had a relationship for years. When he first contacted me he told me that a relationship was a no go and that if I kept trying to have a discussion with him about us having a relationship with each other he would block me. In the end last March he told me that he thought I wasn't putting enough effort in to seeing him and wasn't speaking to him as much and he told me that he was getting on with his life and only wanted to be around people who put an effort in to seeing him. He invited a woman who he said was just a female friend to stay with him . He is homeless and lives in a tent and she stayed in his tent and in a hotel with him for 2 weeks. We had told each other that we were in love with each other and after everything we had been through this made me feel very hurt and betrayed. I don't know if they were intimate with each other or if they had a relationship with each other or not. I got very angry and told him that my ex who passed away last year never let any other women stay over with him and that he loved me for thirteen years. I also told him that a woman doesn't stay over with a man for that long if she is just his friend. When I mentioned my ex he said he was sick of telling me that he isn't him and said maybe I should have spent more time with my ex before he passed away. Then he said he was blocking me because he wanted peace and said goodbye and good luck. What do you think about all of this and why do you think he blocked me and why did he send the follow request 2 days ago then delete it?. Could he possibly still be in love with me and he got anxious and nervous thinking I might reject him then deleted the request?. Or do you think there is another reason?. I am 42 years old and he is 50 years old

Is name calling normal in relationships?

Over the years my partner has told me I'm pathetic, stupid, thick as fuck. I've challenged him told him not to call me names it's disrespectful. After it happened this morning we have just been having a chat and he says if you do something stupid I'm going to say it's stupid I said well don't he says he's not going to do that.

I said my parents don't call each other and my brother doesn't with his wife ( he scoffed at this) and it's made me wonder do people in relationships call each other? I dont do it so expect him not to he says he's not going to change.

Hi, my DD is 21, she will be 22 in January. She has just graduated from university, and got married last month. I’ll be honest I wasn’t thrilled about her getting married at 21, she’d been with her boyfriend since secondary school.
However today she has announced she is pregnant. She told me it wasn’t planned, but they are keeping the baby. She still lives at home with me but has committed to finding somewhere else to live, I’ve told her there is no hurry.
Im going to be honest I’m devastated, she was the first person in our family to go to university, she got straight As in her highers and advanced highers, she is due to start teacher training, but has said she might not start as she is due in February.
I am so worried she is throwing her life away, her husband is a lovely boy but he is only 22, he’s a joiner so he puts in a lot of hard work but it’s not high earning.

AIBU to feel like this? What do I do?

I have a beloved JL strapless/multiway bikini similar to might like this at John Lewis: www.johnlewis.com/john-lewis-sling-halter-bikini-top-black/p6089752?s_share=jlappdroid this which you can prise from my cold, dead hands BUT it leaves me with a very large white bit in the bit where the gore of the top sits - basically the bit that you'd see if I was wearing a really deep v-neck top. My days of triangle bikinis held together with string are over, but is there a solution that allows you to get a bit of vitamin D on the white bits and still keep your boobs aloft?! I tried this from Amazon but the top wasn't the right fit although I liked it in theory.

If you have 32FF boobs and have experience with a solution please share 😀

Hello, I’m looking for advice on life in Athens. It looks like we are moving there in January. I’ll be looking for schooling and housing. Does anyone have any experience of this city? Any pointers welcome. I’ve never been. We currently live in Dubai. I’d rather not leave but we must go where the work is I suppose. Thank you

First time poster. I will give some context for this post. Been married to my DH for 31 years we have a 30 year old DD. This is my second marriage and I have two DD from that relationship. I am 70 and my DH is 74. He is a farmer on a tenanted farm and his family have been here over 100 years. My eldest DD emigrated to Australia 9 years ago and has a great life. I was heart broken when she went taking my two GDC with her ( kids are now14 and 10) I try to get over every year to see them and I love Australia, My youngest DH and her husband have said that they are looking to get a visa to emigrate. My heart dropped but I told her she should try as it’s a great place for kids and it’s something I would have done given the chance. I have told my DH that I want us to emigrate too and he’s said ‘no’ without any discussion. I have lived abroad before so the thought of moving to another country does not faze me. My DH has always lived in this house. He’s a bit selfish to be honest. We had discussed him retiring as I would like to move to our other house which will be much easier to maintain. I’m starting to worry a bit that something may happen to him and I’ll be left with this farm to sort out and live in this big house till I can move. He doesn’t seem to be bothered. He decided not to retire without discussion as he likes farming. I want to go to Australia to spend what time we’ve got left with my DDs. I couldn’t bare the thought of the youngest going. AIBU to want us both to emigrate?

I want to get gel nails done at my local salon - ideally in white. I’ve done my own white nails before - usually Essie or Rimmel gel - but I always find they go yellow after a few days.

I don’t smoke or fake tan - so don’t think it’s that. I wondered if it was the kids’ once-a-day suncream which does seem to make their school polo shirts yellow at the neck!

If I get proper gel done at the salon, do you think I’ll still get this issue? Is it just what happens with white nails? Or just what happens to me?! 😂

I’m interested to hear from anyone who has been in a similar situation.
My sister is 53 and has lived with my parents for many years. They’re both in their 80s and provide a lot of practical and financial support. She has had a very chaotic life, including a long history of addiction and difficulty keeping stable employment. She’s currently off work with stress following yet another dispute with her employer.
There have also been incidents of violence towards my parents in the past when she was using drugs, and more recently she had a huge outburst towards them which the neighbours heard.
My parents say they want her to become independent and move out, but there always seems to be a reason why now isn’t the right time. I keep saying that I think it would be better for her to learn to live independently while they’re still around to support her, rather than being forced into it when they’re no longer here.
They say they don’t expect me to take responsibility for her, but I worry that when the time comes I’ll feel like I have no choice. I don’t want her living with me or to become responsible for supporting her, but I know I’d feel guilty if she had nowhere to go.
I’d really like to hear from anyone whose sibling was dependent on their parents and then had to manage independently after their parents died or could no longer support them.
How did it work out? Did your sibling manage? Did you end up having to step in? And is there anything you wish you’d done differently while your parents were still alive?

I gave up my career 18 years ago when I had children and needed to become a carer for a relative not long after, and have been doing work-at-home stuff or manual work to fit around being a single mum/carer until now.

I am starting a new job in a couple of weeks, it's office-based and I am just feeling a bit apprehensive about starting again in my 50s.

The office attire is more casual than smart, I think I'd prefer to lean in to being a bit smarter than too casual, not least because I raise the age average by quite a lot and I want to make the effort.

Other than that, has much changed in office culture that I need to be aware of? It's a tech startup and most of the team are young guys who looked between 25-35. Two other women maybe a tiny bit older, I didn't see them at my interview though so didn't get a vibe for the how people dress there if female.

I am feeling really apprehensive in general that I can even do the work, too - tips for giving my ego a soothe/boost welcome too.

I know the title probably sounds wild, so I'll try to explain

My husband and I have actually known each other since high school. He was married to my best friend, who was also my childhood friend. The three of us had known each other for years, and she and I were incredibly close. Our families were close too, and I was basically an aunt to her kids

I got divorced about 10 years ago and have two kids. My husband had three kids with my best friend.

About six years ago, she passed away after a long illness. During the last part of her illness, I spent a lot of time with her and helping take care of the kids. After she passed, I stayed very close to her children and continued being there for them, just like I always had been

A few years later, my husband and I started developing feelings for each other. It wasn't something we planned or expected, and honest it was incredibly complicated emotionally........We dated for a few years before eventually deciding to get married

We've now been married for a while, and surprisingly, it's actually a really good marriage. Our kids are part of our family, and we've tried to handle everything with as much love and respect as possible

I still miss my best friend. I don't think marrying her husband somehow replaces her or changes what she meant to me. She will always be part of my life and the history of our family

I know some people will think what we did was wrong, while others may understand it

So... AMA

I won’t be saying who they are.

I recently spoke to a friend about it who
had lots of questions which lead to an interesting conversation, things I’d never said or thought about before.

When I was younger I used to feel incredibly jealous of them and had a very short and unsuccessful attempt at creating my own fame.

Now I’m older with my own dc and have seen the effects up close I definitely think the negatives out way the positives and it’s not something I would ever want for my children.

AMA