Help welcome and desperately needed. I’ve been seeing a man for the past 5 years. We don’t live together, live about an hour apart and each have one DS from previous marriages. I’ll be honest it’s been very up and down relationship, mainly because he’s always been very secretive and evasive - as humiliating as it is to admit he’s not yet introduced me to a single person in his life, and has never told me where he lives. Always seeing me at my home. He has refused to meet my son or allow me to meet his for context. Despite this I’ve continued to believe he was committed to me. About two months ago he told me his ex wife was diagnosed with an aggressive breast cancer that’s spread to her liver. He has said this is terminal and she’s on end of live care. This deterioration of health is in the space of less than two months. Since he revealed this he has pulled away from me more than ever (he has always blown hot and cold), continually reinforcing that his son is his only priority and his words yesterday “I’m irrelevant”. We had a date planned yesterday as he’s not seen me for two weeks (not uncommon and always driven by when he can see me around his shift work and hobbies - cricket, having his son etc) and he stood me up just two hours before claiming he needed to be there for his son (13) as he wasn’t going to school. He didn’t apologise, made no attempt to call me to reschedule, pretty much blanked me. He then ignored my attempted calls in the evening and when I asked him he refused to call me back saying I could wait all night as his phone was charging. His messages yesterday evening were very hurtful and filled with contempt towards me. He said he didn’t know when he could reschedule seeing me given it’s a “waiting game” referring to his ex wife. All of a similar dismissive and avoidant vein. Just two days before he was saying how much he was looking forward to seeing me and ended his call with “love you”. Hence why I’m reeling now. Whilst I’m compassionate towards his ex wife and completely appreciate his son is his priority in such difficult circumstances and that it’s alot for my partner to deal with too. I’m still deeply hurt by the fact I just feel discarded and abandoned by him. Surely a partner of five years, albeit in not the best relationship driven by his secrecy and evasiveness, still feel he owes me some respect and care and would not just disregard and pretty much discard me. I can only imagine if roles reverse I’d never treat him in this cold and cruel way, I’d lean into him, want his support and still want to see him. I’ve fully invested 5 years into this relationship where he has said alot about wanting to progress, how committed he is to me, how he’s my best friend as well as partner etc It’s not just making me question everything, my anxiety is through the roof and I feel heartbroken and like a fool, that he’s been stringing me along for years. Haven’t a clue how to proceed now given he’s refused to see me indefinitely and even not calling me. Any advice?