can we afford to have a child?

[simpls]

how do people in Scotland do childcare?

I am TTC and just starting to understand the things I need to get ready. I am 30.

I am about to buy a two bed home and upgrade. It's talking all our savings but there's just so little space in a one bed and we're unhappy.

My mortgage will be £900 a month.

Childcare will be £1500 a month for my local nursery (if we get a place)

Twins run in my family and tend to skip a generation (my mum was a twin!) What do parents of multiples do?

DP earns £32k with two weeks of paternity and no opportunity for flexibility. He works solid 9-5 but is expected to overtime.

Second last financial year I earned £45k as a contractor and spent it all on rennovations! Last financial year I earned £22k as a contractor sole trader (used to be more and can pick up quickly) but no maternity leave. So no income if I stop for 6-9 months and will need a run way of no income while I apply for contracts again.

My work is in a niche type of events so there is no flexibility. Alot of the work falls on weekends, evenings, but can also be any day of the week, so I can't take an extra day off for childcare as I would lose contracts with that lack of availability.

When I lost contracts over the last year I panicked and started trying to get a job and got to final stage 4 times, but wasn't chosen. So I need to keep plugging away with my work.

No willing and supportive family in the area.

Can we make this work?

Is it your mortgage or yours & DP’s?
Do you both potentially need to work at weekends? Childcare outside 7.30am-6pm Monday to Friday is difficult to find.

We have teens now. We paid for every single second of childcare we needed, but the availability of childcare can be as challenging as the cost.

I wouldn’t ever put anyone off having a child, but you do need to go into it with eyes open.

Your main issue is your unreliable income and lack of paid maternity leave which are the downside of contractor type work compared to being a long term employee (I get it, my DP is the same, earns masses when he’s working but long term probably earns less than I do, particularly when you factor in my additional benefits). You either need to build a bigger savings pot to cover the time you’re out of work and get a more stable source of income. Flexible childcare is hard to find, there’s one nursery I know of near the airport which does this because most of their kids are the children of airline crew with varying shifts, but it’s still only during “office” hours and doesn’t cover evenings and weekends.

Thank you both @IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads and @MiddleAgedDread I really appreciate your help

mine and DP mortgage. No DP is free weekends and all evenings I can't do except for about two months a year which is the busy period for his industry. (his overtime is flexible except for the two months a year)

How much savings do we need?

How much savings do we need?.....i dunno, look at what your essential outgoings and current spending is like per month/year and then work out how much you need to cover time off work.

Here is what I have come up with for a family of 3:

Council tax: £190 a month Other Bills and insurance: £250 a month Childcare: £1500 a month Mortgage: £900 a month Food: £500 Car: £250 Extra - baby groups/clothing/entertainment/trains to visit family/gifts: £500

£4090

Take home income: £3,700

I think you also need to factor your unreliable income, assuming that £3700 isn't your partner's income off £32k a year

How much is your DPs take home pay?

You should be eligible for Maternity Allowance if you aren't eligible for Maternity Pay.

https://www.gov.uk/maternity-allowance/eligibility

There is also the Tax Free childcare scheme if you haven't taken that into account, and you will also get Child Benefit.

Apologies if you have already factored these in to your calculations.

yes this plan will be for when our child goes to nursery at 6/9 months old. Based on both our incomes

Before that we don't have my income or the £1500 a month nursery.

Sorry I don’t know the rules in Scotland but do you not get free nursery hours? Is £1500 after those free hours or before? Do you really need all that childcare if you work evenings and weekends and dh works weekdays?
have you been paying higher rate NI you’ll be able to get child benefit and some mat allowance. There’s also tax free childcare scheme so it costs less.
you can try save as much as possible until you need to stop working to supplement your mat allowance - given you’re not pregnant yet that’s probably 6m to a year from now.
£500 is a lot to be spending on clothes and entertainment a month if you’re worried about being able to afford your bills.
I take dc to a playgroup twice a week, one costs £1 and one costs £3. They get a snack there too. In between we go to libraries parks and other free things. For birthdays I ask for memberships to things like local zoos or national trust so we can do that too. If they’re at nursery full time you won’t be paying for classes.

It's only from the age of 3 in Scotland @Tuckas

Why do you need £500 a month for gifts/entertainment. That feels like the obvious saving

My partners gym is £100 p/m he needs that for his mental health. My DP also takes the train to work every day £9 return which is £200 a month.

If we want to visit my DM or DGM it's a £25 return pp. We go over other weekend because they are both unwell. But will reduce this to once a month. So thats another £50.

Then we need everything for the baby- nappies, play groups, clothes, bottles. Clothes for me and DP. He wears contact lenses. I need glasses replacing. Dentist appointment. Hair cuts. One meal out can easily take £70 and while we never go for ourselves for fun, sometimes friends will be visiting in the area or it's someone's birthday. Cost us £400 to go to a cousins wedding last month.

It all adds up with very little to show.

I use the car as I need to access remote venues for my work.

I saved like mad for maternity leave to maximise my time off.

Fairly low earners, both under £30k at that time.
Returning to work we both cut down to 4 days so we only needed 3 days childcare. Dp was a shift worker so he negotiated a fixed day off. We paid for 3 days in nursery until the funded hours kicked in then then we moved to a council preschool and used the private nursery for the wrap-around, as it was only afternoon sessions.

Things were tight but we made it work. We kept our housing costs low with a small mortgage and budgeted within an inch of everything!

You think it will get cheaper when they start school but breakfast and after-school club was almost the same cost as private nursery, plus we all of the holidays to cover. We do a mix of annual leave and paid clubs.

£100pm for a gym is ridiculous. I'm £55 for a 'posh' leisure club and dp is £25 for a 24hr gym. It's only now our children are much older that we've joined, these are the kinds of things that go when you have children and a tight budget.

Have you factored in the tax free childcare allowance to your budget? And child benefit? Would be better eligible for the Scottish child payment?

If self employed you should get maternity allowance which is a similar level to statutory mat pay.

No free hours in Scotland until 3yrs old. Unless they qualify for a vulnerable child place.

You might want to consider if your DP will be able to get to the gym as much when you both have a small baby to look after, and whether £100 a month is value for money when he is going less.

You’ll get tax free childcare which helps. Search Government Tax-Free childcare. You’ll also get free hours from a certain age which will reduce the total further.

You will make it work, you just will. It can’t be planned to the finest detail. Lots of people with far less money have kids.

On your income and outgoings you most likely won’t be able to afford a £100 per month gym membership, regular haircuts, meals out or £400 weddings. You need to decide if you are ok with that or not and therefore if you can afford a baby.

£900 a month on food is A lot for 2adults plus baby as and when

do you usually spend £500 a month on trains and gifts / esp if have a car?

Ah page hasn’t refreshed. About train

tho gym is costly and can find a cheaper one

Dp is recovering from an injury and that gym has one session with someone who is helping him. it will be a long road to recovery but it's the best value to get that help he needs and have a membership. So it is really essential.

To be honest I have a hair cut every 6 months because we can't really afford one. the entertainment budget goes very fast on things that aren't entertaining.

its £500 for food not £900. Most is DP protein powders and health foods.

DPs protein powders, health foods and gym membership? I’d start there op. Whatever he might say, they sound like luxuries to me, and could be cut back on. When is he going to find time for his £100 a month gym with a newborn? Or will it all be on you?

If you can’t afford the gym membership, his protein powders and health foods as well as a baby though then it will have to give if you both want a baby.

If the numbers are as tight as you suggest, OP, and your income source has so much unreliability, then you patently can't afford to have a baby now. What is wrong with waiting a few years to stabilise your finances?