After a (happy?) 20 year marriage, my husband left us for another woman shortly before Christmas. I say he left 'us' because he hasn't just left me. He left the kids too. They are teenagers. He sees them a couple of times a month at best. An hour in McDonald's and drops them home. He does absolutely no parenting. He used to do half. I know I'm not doing nappies and bedtimes with grown kids, but there's still a lot. They have sports practices and social lives and pretty much all of my time is spent dropping them and picking them up. I do it all gladly, but I'm tired. Parenting three kids has been a 2-person job for 20 years and now I'm suddenly doing everything by myself. Up early for sports. Up late to pick up from a party. Parents evening. School show. This one needs new shoes. This one forgot about an art project. We've run out of bread. The washing machine door is sticking. The light bulb in the kitchen is blown and I can't get it out. And I'm having to watch every damn penny because we've gone from 2 to 1 income.
The kids have been so hurt by him leaving so I need them to trust that I have got this. I've got them. I can do it all and there's still fun and love and laughter in our home.
I work, and I'm a department head and that can feel a bit the same sometimes. It's my job to shepherd everyone and check they're okay and take the shitty end of the stick and support everyone else to do what they can. When everything goes well it's a team effort. When anything goes wrong, the buck stops with me. That's how it's supposed to be.
I just feel like there's only one of me and I'm stretched so thin. Just having a moan really. I'm okay.