V low attendance due to illness - how do we manage GCSEs?

[TheMildManneredMilitant]

Hello all, I could really do with some ideas as don't know where to go.

Dd is in year 10 and massively struggling with school attendance. She's nauseous/exhausted most of the time but still nothing diagnosed. (We've had multiple blood tests, some things like low iron and vit d identified but not shifted even with treatment).

She's probably at 40% attendance for the year and now we're on an agreement with school to do an hour a day, with a view to building it back up. I don't see her getting better and don't think we're ever going to get to full days. We have some core work to do outside of that which she's completing, but there are whole subjects where she hasn't had a lesson for weeks.

She's really bright but must now be so far behind. We can supplement some work at home through oak academy and look at some tutors but I just feel so overwhelmed by it. Me and Dh work full time and can't be there to constantly teach/cajole her.

We've got mocks this week - if she can get in for them. That'll give us a baseline. But beyond that just don't know how to manage this.

Any ideas about how to get her through her gcses? Or anyone been in a similar position and can offer reassurance it will be ok eventually?

Any ideas what she would want to do after GCSEs? Basically the work needs to be cut to the bare minimum to get her there. For a lot of things - including many 6th forms for A levels you only need 5 GCSEs. For some college courses you only need maths and English. If she wants to do GCSEs then reduce them down to the minimum necessary.
I home edded mine through GCSEs and it was do-able and it sounds like you’d have school support. You can get the text books/revision books for the right board and work through them. There are so many YouTube revision videos.

Speak to school about reducing the number of exams she is doing - English Language/ Maths/Science/one option? Can you afford tutors? Use the internet to get lessons up.
It's so hard but even passing 2/3 exams will help her in the future.

Bless you, it's so hard isn't it.
Does your local education authority offer on-line home learning? My dd missed all of year 10 (mental health) but they gave her 11hrs of on-line lessons a week in year 11 (maths, English and science) and she managed to scrape grade 5s when she did sit exams.

Thanks @Pandorea and @Pieceofpurplesky reducing had crossed my mind - logically I know she just needs enough to get to next stage. She probably would want to do A levels - STEM or art.

@Perrygreen school haven't mentioned it but I'm due to have outreach get in touch soon so will ask. I feel bad trying to get more from school as they've been fab, and hard enough for teachers supporting those who do go in!

Tutors and those Bite Size study guides got me through GCSEs when I was in a similar situation many years ago. It was amazing how little tutor time was actually needed to catch up. If you can afford it I would pick some core subjects like English, Maths, Science, one humanity or art and just focus on them.

as an aside, exhaustion and nausea are two symptoms of autistic & ADHD burnout. Might be something to look into if blood tests etc aren’t showing anything

@Gagamama2 thank you, that makes sense. Yes we are wondering about ADHD/autism - we're just going through assessment for her older sibling and the more I learn about it and in girls the more it fits.

If she likes Art, I expect she can catch up her portfolio over the summer. It’s a lot of work (dd is in y10 and has spent a lot of time on art this year!) but it’s the kind of work you can do in your bedroom listening to music.

I agree with cutting down the number of GCSEs to no more than 6 or 7. You could also consider repeating year 10? Since then she could consolidate (overall attendance would be 80% if she hits steady state).

Tutors over the summer could help her catch up a bit?

You might be able to get some home tuition through the LA. If not would private online schools be an option? They aren't cheap but cheaper than bricks and mortar private often.

If you did go down the home tutoring route you may find she doesn't need so many hours as she would in school as it is much much more efficient. I find I cover loads more in a tutoring session than I would in the classroom. Lots of tutors also offer small group tuition which could be a cheaper option as well.

@Anjoola that's a good point re art. I couldn't put her back through year 10 even though I get the logic.
@Winter42 thanks - i'd thought about online school just think it would be too expensive for us to do a full suite of GCSEs, but maybe some selective tutoring would work.

Request alternative provision. If DD is unable to attend school full-time, alternative provision should be being provided. The LA has a duty to ensure she still receives a suitable full-time education or if full time in any form isn’t appropriate, as much as is possible.

How ill is she?

my dd in a similar situation wasn’t really able to cope with a school equivalent level of work.

focus on English, maths, and whatever feeds into what she wants to do next

Hey @TheMildManneredMilitant how hard this must be for you and her.

I agree with the useful suggestions from others. Things I would look into:

• Cutting down GCSEs to a reduced number – Eng lang, maths, science, any options for A level (eg if she longs to do French post-16 then the GCSE is a good idea)
• Targeting specific lessons in school and then maybe bringing work home – you will need to work with the school but if she could cover the key subjects it would help
• Possibly tutors for specific subjects – IMHO it's more than possible to get a bright YP to a grade 6/7 in my subject (MFL) with an hour of tutoring a week (and some work by the student) for a year or so no worries
• Some kind of online school
• What support is the school or LA offering?

In terms of your DD's health, IME students I have known who have missed a lot of school have had ME or have been ND. In some cases they have got through it and been back at school fully for A levels. In other cases they have had to leave school altogether. I hope you can find a workable solution to support your DD through the next 12 months.

DD ended up doing 5 (I’d preferred 6 but didn’t work out) and school made special dispensation for her to stay for sixth form.
I would have a conversation with school - ours kept pushing that she would do all 9, even though she hadn’t been in classes for some since year 7.
She just needs to do what she needs for the next stage.

@clary heartening to hear that even an hour + work can help for MFL. German is one of the subjects I worry about as must be so much to catch up on. Interesting you mention ME too as that's the other way I was heading if not/in addition to ND.

@Octavia64 in terms of how Ill she is - she's not as bad as if she had eg flu, but still can't manage that much even when at home. It's feeling tired and sick, some days it's a bit better so she goes in but then it seems to wipe her out :(

I really appreciate all of your input thank you

I can sympathise as my DD missed most of her schooling from age 14 to age 18. I worried that she would never get any qualifications or be able to hold down a job or live any sort of normal life. In her case, the eventual diagnosis was ME/CFS.

She did eventually manage to work a very part time job of three hours three times a week in retail at age 18. Then she did functional skills qualification in English and maths. She worked her way through various jobs and is now (in her mid thirties) working full time in a job she loves, alongside being a mum to two school age children. She was even accepted on an open university degree course having done an access course with no GCSs or A levels. (Although for personal reasons she didn't complete her degree).

Hopefully this will reassure you that you DDs health is the most important thing and everything else can wait and she has options later on.

Wishing your DD a good recovery.

@blackbirdsaresinging thank you so much for sharing. So glad to hear your DD is doing well and it does help me put it in perspective.

Hi Op,

This happened to a close relation of mine. She has surgery around Covid time but was left in chronic pain and it took a number of years to find the right medication. As a result I think she missed year 9-11 at school.

She was bright like your DD and managed to get some decent GCSEs much to all our joy.

As others have said cut down the subjects now to keep it realistic. Theres no point her doing German if she's not going to do it in her own time.

I agree with others, focus on core subjects plus on or two others like art that she enjoys/might want to do for a level.

In terms of tutoring, if you can afford it would be worth getting a tutor for a core subject where she's weaker. For my young person she had one for English and it made a big difference.

I feel for you both as it's a really stressful and difficult time. I would continue to push for medical diagnosis/answers.

One thing we found difficult was getting her through the exams. As sometimes there's more than one GCSE in a day etc and it can be too much. That's why reducing subjects is so key. Ideally if she's eligible for extra time/marks for medical issues that can also help.

My young person wasn't very good at self learning so she had to give up most the subjects with coursework in the end as she just didn't do it. I don't think that's necessarily the best approach as less weighting on exams can be better (because of there being so many). However, worth monitoring things like the art and working out if it's happening at home or not.

In the end she did well and a bright kid can do well in GCSEs so don't lose heart.

💛

My DD dropped out of school in Y10, at the May half term.

She had been slowly crashing out and school had been v supportive but I panicked about GCSEs.

She is now (Y12) diagnosed with diagnosed ASD and CFS.

She wanted to do all her GCSEs as she is academic and wanted to do A'levels.

We enrolled her in private online school and she ended up working entirely from home and it worked REALLY well for her. She ended up getting 9 GCSEs (she dropped one) BUT she really really wanted to succeed and she was much better quite quickly as soon as she stopped attending.

Things I wished we had done differently: got the ASD diagnosis then and there (it wasn't a surpries) and paid for it privately; kept her on roll at school and pushed for the LA and/or school to pay for her online schooling and most of all pushed for an EHCP (much much easier to do when they are pre-16 and are in; and it's helpful if you have a diagnosis).

We could only afford one year of online schooling which was successful and worthwhile, but basically kicked the problem down the road for one year.

School was difficult for my daughter and she left in year 8. We home educated but it was hopeless really she was very anxious and reclusive, did no GCSEs. But by that time she was better and has gone to art college, they accepted her to a level 2 course with no qualifications. Now she is on the level 3 course, she did gcse English last year and is doing maths this year, she has 1 more year of level 3 art and then hopes to do an art degree at the same college. She's honestly a different girl now, happy and has a part time job. From the 13 year old that wouldn't leave her bedroom.... it is a success story for us.

It's because an hour of 1 on 1 tutor time can achieve a lot more than an hour in a class, with possible disruption, having to tailor the work to 30 YP at different levels. With a tutor they know what your DD can do and can work on what they are struggling with and give individual support.

Have you been able to test for ME?

Not tested yet - last lot of tests threw up vit d deficiency and GP felt treating that would fix it - I was sceptical but really hoped it would work. It didn't. But next conversation will be CFS/ME/autoimmune... Plus possibly private route for ND

Look into online school? Like Minerva? What have school said in terms of provision?