Hubby has a history of porn addiction. We’ve had counselling a few times over the years; have been together 38years. 14 years ago he developed erectile dysfunction; there’s been zero sexual activity since then. I’ve been feeling very hurt because sex is so much more than penetration, but there’s been nothing in that front whatsoever. We were on holiday last week, and I asked to see the pics he’d taken on his phone. He’d taken pics of some women on the beach. I challenged him and he looked very sheepish and said he thought to himself ‘she’s a bit of alright’ and took the snap without thinking. I’m furious because it’s akin to upskirting (although he deleted it almost as soon as he took it). Also because I was lying beside him on the sun lounger when he did it. I’m so hurt. I’m also very angry with myself for putting up with his selfish, shitty behaviour for as long as I have. I’m almost 55 & my sex life died at 40; but it was practically non existent anyway. He’s booked rehab, next intake is in 6 weeks. It’s costing us over £3K for an intensive week. I want to punch the shit out of him for using me all these years (I won’t). Trying to stay calm as we have two adult children, one of whom stills lives with us. My plan is to see a solicitor this week to get all my ducks in a row, have already put myself on the waiting list for Relate. Not sure whether to give things one last try or not. I’m just feeling really lonely, unloved, undesirable, old and unattractive. Would appreciate thoughts/advice. TIA