Am I wrong in this situation?

[Resetrefocusanddoit]

Is this on me?

Dp 2 years. Dont live together. Said he was coming over to spend some time with me last night - im a mum of 2 and am trapped at home of an evening and recently told dp im feeling really alone and lonely so when he said he would come over thursday eve I was so looking forward too it.
Thursday 11am I get a message saying he forgot it was his friends mums funeral today and he wont be coming as he going to go the pub with his mates instead (friendship group includes friend whos mum sadly passed away) the funeral was 10.30am, later found out he went to the pub at 5.30pm so the wake etc was finished so essentially he was just at the pub...for context the "friend" whos mum has passed away has said to me they arnt really mates and she only knows him because of her partner and she works in the pub they all go and DP used to be in the pub all the time so more acquaintances than mates. I was gutted when I got the message and told him that as I didnt understand why he couldnt "show his face for support" as he said it and then come and see me abit later on - he just shut it down wasnt an option he was going to be pub end of. Anyway fast forward to 5.30 I call him and hes already in the pub, hes defensive and told me to fuck off when I was trying to explain why I felt so sad anyway he ended it and hung up hasnt acknowledged me since....

Am I being an arsehole here?

He didnt even know her mum and he totally forgot about it all so clearly wasnt that important and now hes ignoring me.

I have a rare totally kid free night tonight and only have my ds 15 home this weekend and now hes ditched so feel like the weekend which I so needed is now ruined.....

Is this me?

We have no kids together. He doesnt want kids.

You don't sound well suited and he doesn't sound like he's very mature tbh. Throw him back.

I'd be hurt in this situation, but he's shown you who he is. 2 years isn't long on the grand scheme of things, ltb

Chuck this one back. He’s not that into you.
There’s kinder more considerate blokes out there. Don’t let him come crawling back and “use” you either. Stay strong.

Sorry OP but he is willing to drop you if an excuse for a booze up with his pals comes along.

It was a mean trick to play on you when he knew you are feeling low. Getting your expectations up that you had something to look forward to and then bailing out was really unpleasant.

He has shown you who he is OP. If you continue in this relationship there will be more of the same. It's not you. It's him. You are worth so much more than being this man's back up plan.

You’re not a priority.

I bet this isn’t the first time he’s shown you that.

he's made it clear you're not a priority.
yanbu to be confused over his priorities or his attitude. ywbu to try and get back together.
enjoy your child free weekend. go out with mates or alone. sleep late go to the cinema or for coffee or for dinner. raise your standards cos I'm tell5you, you deserve better

do not let him weasel his way back into your bed when he decides he needs a hook up

He already told you he wasn’t coming over then you still rung him

your not suited you have ties he doesn’t which isn’t a great combination as everything is dictated by your availability

I’ve been to plenty of wakes that carry on after the event

Raise your standards. He's not that into you, sorry. Don't beg him for scraps.

About the 20th if im honest....

Thank you.... hes told me its my fault as per - im the reason hes ended it because of my reaction.

I just want to be loved.

Not all men are capable of loving another.@Resetrefocusanddoit start by loving yourself, doing things to fill your day.

if your dc’s can be left for a few hours, find things to do …. A garden centre visit, go to the library, find things to do at home, experiment making meals, go have a coffee with a friend.

Hope things get better for you.

I never cease to be astonished at the amount of women on here whose partners/husbands tell them to "fuck off" or call them abusive names and yet they stay with this person. In a marriage and especially woth children I understand that ending the relationship is much more complex but that is not the case here.

This creature does not like, love or respect you. You need to find support elsewhere and tell him to take a hike.

I’m not sure why you phoned him when he already told you he was going for a drink to show support or pay his respects after a funeral. There’s nothing wrong with what he said he was doing. Plenty of people don’t take time off work to attend to f they’re not close but call in afterwards as a mark of respect.

What did you expect to achieve by phoning him when you knew he was at the pub? That was never going to end well.

I agree with PP’s that you’re not a priority for him and he’s made that clear. But you could have handled this differently and suggested he come over another night. You do sound really lonely and I’m not sure he’s the solution to this. I’d focus on building a friendship network or hobbies, which you’d need in any good relationship anyway. Being this dependent on a man isn’t healthy.

Then cut this dickhead off so you have a chance of meeting someone nice, who will love you, rather than someone who gives you a few crumbs so you’ll let him come round for a bunk up whenever he’s got nothing better to do!

You sound like your self esteem is so low. And when it gets to that point, you’ll take any affection anyone throws at you, simply because you want to be loved so much. And ‘men’ like this dickhead see it, and they use you when it’s convenient for them. I’m not judging you, I’ve been there myself. The only solution is to work on yourself so you have the strength to tell users like him to fuck right off before they even start messing you about.

Yeah hes not prioritising you.

Get rid.

He makes you feel like crap. Life's too short to be someone's second choice love 🫶

Don't let him ruin your weekend, get out and about with friends or family or on your own, and do some nice things for yourself.

If you never feel like a priority for this man, then he's done you a favour.

It's no point hanging onto someone who makes you feel like that, hoping to feel loved. Don't put up with poor treatment for the sake of being with someone, it doesn't make them love you, it just makes them complacent.