Was I overreacting to confront my husband's friend about Snapchat messages?

[Minlee]

My husband and his friends wife Snapchat a lot down through years. Last year I began to feel annoyed by it. I asked him to stop I didn’t like it. He pulled bk but she kept sending silly snaps etc and I began to notice she would send him Snapchat personal family stuff just to get his attention. Long story short other day she started to put kisses at end of her snaps to him and him to her.
I had enough and messaged her to stop snap chatting my husband bla bla. She got so defensive that it’s just friendly and she didn’t realise she thought we were all friends. She has now deleted us both off social media.
am I overreacting or was me confronting her valid?

YANBU. She deleted you both as she knows she went too far.she will paint herself as a victim now.
But your husband also needs to take some responsibility aswell

You have posted before about your H using Snapchat to have secret conversations with other women.

His use of Snapchat Seems to have been a long term source of distrust for you.

Why on earth are you putting up with having to police his use of social media in this way?

I wouldn’t have messaged her; I would have had a conversation with DH and let him take action and also take responsibility for his actions.

Look, it’s done now but the next question is, will you be addressing this with your DH?

(Also don’t some snaps delete after seeing them… what if they were sending those types of snaps to each other?)

You didn't have a friend problem you HAVE a husband problem.

There will be another Snapchat woman until he sorts his boundaries out and prioritises you feeling safe.

You have a DH problem, you took it out on the wrong person

Its definitely both of them. They were both taking the piss with OP.

You have posted about your DH doing this many many times. You need help to leave him. And if you arent getting his consent to look at his phone, then the trust has long gone

Just leave him FFS. You’ve been banging on about his bloody Snapchat for ages in various different posts. There’s zero trust in your relationship and it’s all incredibly toxic

If this is a pattern as other posters have said then your friend is the least of your problems. You need to deal with your husband.
You can't spend your life playing whack-a-woman trying to keep him loyal to you. He has to want to be.

Are you hoping for a different answer to all your previous posts?

You’re not overreacting. Snapchat is a strange choice for a “purely innocent friendship” between a married man and another woman, especially once kisses start appearing. Most women would feel uncomfortable with that dynamic.
Also, if she genuinely thought everything was completely innocent and friendly, why the dramatic deleting of both of you afterwards? That reaction alone suggests she knew the boundaries had become blurred.
Personally though, I think the bigger issue is your husband. Once you told him it made you uncomfortable, it should have stopped completely instead of slowly escalating.

I’m guessing you messaged her because you assumed, unlike your H, you’d get a response. That says an awful lot about your H.

Old enough to get married means surely too old for snapchat?

Good for you, she was overstepping the mark.