Husband hid assets for years and I feel betrayed abroad

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Hi everyone, I’m 65 and feeling completely blindsided. I’ve been in a relationship since 2014 (married since 2020) and we recently separated under the same roof. My family is all back in the UK and I’m currently in Australia, feeling very isolated.
I just found out my husband has been hiding a secret stash of $900k for 10 years and $140k in superannuation (pension) while telling me he had nothing. He also 'ghost employed' me for 8 years without my knowledge, likely for tax reasons, but I never saw a penny of those wages. I’ve lived on a $300/week 'allowance' while he spent thousands on his boat.
When I used to ask about our future or security, he’d tell me I didn't need to know and to just 'get a job.' Now that I’ve served papers, he’s draining our joint account and offered me a tiny fraction of the assets ($400k out of a $2.5m+ pool), telling me to go back to the UK and get a job or go on benefits.
I feel so worthless and guilty for getting a solicitor, but the lies just keep unraveling. Has anyone else dealt with a spouse hiding massive assets or using your name for 'ghost' wages? How did you cope with the feeling of betrayal at this age? I’d love to hear from anyone who has come out the other side."

Tips for posting:

• Stay Anonymous: Use a nickname and don't use your husband's real name.
• Check the Replies: On sites like Mumsnet, women are very supportive and will often give you "tough love" to remind you that you are entitled to a fair split.
• The UK Connection: Mentioning your family is in the UK will likely attract other expats who understand how scary it is to be stuck in Australia without your own money.

Would you like me to find the specific link to the Mumsnet "Relationships" board so you can post this now?

You’re going to get loads of posts criticising you for using AI because you don’t delete the AI stuff at the bottom of your post.

But the answer is tell the solicitor everything and go from there.

I don’t get that as they equally criticise if the post isn’t grammatically correct or they say they can’t understand when they can. But yes, all the AI posts will flood in.

OP, only a solicitor can advise on a suitable amount for a 10yr relationship/ marriage. You’ve only been married 6yrs but they may consider the 10yrs, not sure of law out there. It’s awful he hid this from you. I’d return to the UK personally.

Yes I intend to move back to the uk to be with my family x

You need the advice of a solicitor, as few on here will understand Australian divorce laws.

Get a solicitor and don’t rely on AI for legal advice.

I don’t know personally about these things but I’m told having a forensic accountant is expensive but the best route to go down.

Probably missing the point here but $400k out of a $2.5m+ pool is not a 'tiny fraction'.

From my Googling, in Australian law, a 6-year marriage with no children generally sees assets divided based on fairness rather than an automatic 50/50 split and is based on what both parties brought to the marriage.

Why do you think you should get more than £400k? You've been married for 5.5 years and you've lived off an "allowance". Why haven't you had a job?

Are you working? Are there any children? The answers to these questions are important as to whether he is being fair.

Six years and no kids? Why do you think you should get more?!

So have you not worked in this time? I know nothing about Australian law but seeing as you are OK with AI ask ChatGpt

How much money did you take into the relationship? Did you have a house etc? £400k isn’t a tiny amount and if you didn’t work during this time you’ve done very well.

As PP said, you will need to consider Australian divorce laws, not England’s.

But also be realistic about what you will get from a relatively short marriage with no children where you have contributed nothing.

In terms of using you as a ghost employee, most likely done for tax reasons. But you should research whether there are any consequences for you on that front. I doubt it, as surely the state would rather you’ve paid taxes than none, but that’s the only issue I can think of.

Under our Australian divorce laws, he'll need to submit all assets. As you probably know, we recognise de facto relationships, so your relationship can often be counted from 2 years when you moved in together, not just marriage. You'll have to prove it. Definitely use a solicitor.

Interestingly, if he was paying you 'wages', then he should have been paying Super as well.

The ATO would love to know about the illegal employment as it usually comes with other dodgy acts. You won't face consequences as long as you can prove none of the money came to you. I wouldn't do it, as they might require you to come back to testify. They might not even bother unless it's a significant amount.

I’m an ex FDRP (Family Dispute Resolution Practitioner). One of the good things for you is the fact that Australia recognises de facto relationships so it won’t just be viewed as a six year marriage, it will be a twelve year relationship. I did a lot of property/financial mediation but if there was any question of hidden assets I would direct people straight to a specialist lawyer. Luckily in financial matters (unlike children’s matters) there is no legal requirement to try mediation first. I would ask around and get the best lawyer you can. DO NOT settle for a small amount until you understand what the likely percentage split would be (Super will also be included in the asset pool). Good luck.

Im still in australia. In a finacial abusive relationship, he's gone through bins for my receipts when ive been shopping and also the $300 is not wages its what I took out of the joint account to servive.

Thank ⚘️ you x

I have a good lawyer and my husband has changed accountants to take my solicwr of the tra k he lying g about everything. Stinks tbh as we were teenage sweethearts in the uk in 1980 fof 3 years I adored him and thought he was my soul mate x

It's AUS$400k which is approx £213k which wouldn't buy a property in most parts of the UK.

Ooops sorry, I meant to quote this post 😔