Partner “emotional” affair

[Mamabearrr83]

handhold please.. my partner of 6 years has been having what I can assume as an emotional affair with a girl he’s met near his work. He had been sneaking out with random excuses and I’ve seen multiple phone calls to her whilst he’s been out etc, all messages have been deleted so I’ve got no idea how far it’s gone/whether it’s been physical and I’m not getting the truth at all.
we own a house together 50/50 joint, where the hell do I go from here? I have 3 young kids 😭

You say “I have 3 young kids” - are they yours together? What has he been saying about it? Have you spoken to him?

Why do you think an ‘emotional’ affair? What does that mean to you?
It sounds like a full (normal) affair to me.

Are you financially independent? It sounds like you aren’t married? Are the DC his?

A girl OP.? Is she only a child?
Because it's bad enough what's happening but if she is very young then that is even worse

Oh god my wording!!! Woman!!! Sorry 🫣

Because all I know about so far are the messages (well I’ve seen a few the rest have all been deleted). I suppose it could of been an actual affair and I’m just trying to convince myself it’s not

If he’s sneaking out to meet her that’s not an emotional affair that’s an affair

Have you spoken to him about this woman? What does he say?

Yes ours together. Denying everything, the phone calls meant nothing.

Is he suggesting that they are just friends?
Or else how is he explaining the phone calls?

What a wanker, so sorry OP.

Just wanted to clarify OP.
I'm really sorry this is happening to you.

I really think it's ultimatum time OP. Tell him he needs to be upfront with you about what's going on so you can both decide on what happens next. And if he refuses to do that then ask him to leave until such time as he is prepared to be honest about the situation with this woman.

I think once the emotional is gone from primary relationship, it doesn’t matter if there is physical or not.

Get his phone, take her number and call and ask her directly.

Done this, she told me she doesn’t recall speaking to him!🫣🫣 even when I showed her screenshots she still said she doesn’t recall it

He’s denying speaking to her, can’t explain the phonecalls but tells me they aren’t talking on the phone. She’s saying the same thing!

But you’ve seen the screenshots? What crazy gaslighting is this?!

The term emotional affair is often used just because they were caught before it turned sexual, very few emotional affairs stay that way if they’re unchecked. It’s rare that the ultimate intent isn’t physical.

When I confronted my husband about him meeting up with, phoning and texting another woman he said “but we’ve never had sex”, I pointed out that they were then in actual fact dating, I asked if that meant I was free to date too, he was very unhappy at that suggestion, funnily enough. We finished that night.