AIBU to not like DH’s Compliment

[Emmie356]

I bought some new gym leggings , came downstairs on my way out DH looked at me and noticed they were new and said “Nice camel toe” He’s never really had a way with words but this one shocked me. I didn’t know what to say and he just reassured me saying what? I think it looks sexy on you, it’s nice to look at” As in the fact the leggings were giving me a camel toe. I didn’t even realise it was, as we have no full length mirror ATM, I just got dressed and went to head out. I don’t know I just found it a bit weird, I know he finds me sexy and fancies me but pointing that out made me conscious of it

I mean, I'd definitely want to know if leggings were giving me a camel toe so that I could sort it or never wear them again...

If they gave you camel toe that’s not a compliment.

Yeah, tell him camel toe is not a compliment

He could have put it better but regardless of what he meant, it got the point across don't you think.

Grim.

It’s not a compliment but surely you’d rather he told you before you headed out?

Sorry if it’s silly but it’s played on my mind since yesterday!

Grim. Exactly what I was thinking. Yeah glad I knew but still it just took me by surprise. Honestly how old is he to be saying that kind of thing?

Are you sure he meant it as a compliment? My DH would tell me. He might even joke about seeing my bits with some sexual banter, but he wouldn't think he was complimenting my choice of outfit to go out in, he'd be letting me know so I could change

So it's the terminology you object to? What would you have preferred him to say?

Thats not a compliment.

He was telling you the leggings are too tight in the crotch.
He doesn't want other people looking at your mons/vulva.

Fair.

Yikes, I’d be burning them immediately, lol.

I don't really see the issue.

A couple of years ago I bought some jeans that turned out to be a little bit too tight and DP let me know by saying "Is that your phone in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me"

It accomplished two things, letting me know my partner occasionally casts her eye towards my genitals, and letting me know that if I left the house with these jeans on then other people probably would be as well.

I considered both bits of information important to be aware of to be honest! (And yes, I went and got changed and took the jeans back.)

Not great but better than going out in too tight leggings with your anatomy on show.

It needed to be said. No-one wants a camel toe!

Exactly! I think camel toe is a better way of wording it than the alternatives!

And FWIW, DH has pointed this out to me before (in new leggings) and I wasn't offended, just glad he told me so I could change!

I don’t think it was him appreciating the view, he was giving you the heads up to sort yourself out.

OK, but was it meant as a "compliment" or was it DH's way of telling you there was a "wardrobe malfunction?"

He's noticed they're a bit too tight and been insensitive about how he's said it. Then realised he was clumsy and tried to put a different spin on it. Camel toe is not sexy talk!

Would shouting 'minge' have been better?

Now that he's told you-
If you're happy going out with a camel toe- continue.
If you're not happy going out with a camel toe- take them off.

What's he actually done wrong?

It's just so objectifying

😒

Oh come on. He was trying to find a light-hearted way of telling her she had camel toe before she walked out the door. Would you rather he’d kept quiet and some kid had yelled it at her in the street?

Was he trying to tell you camel toe without actually saying it straight out. He wasn't trying to give you a compliment but may trying to tell you but was worried that you knew so equally did not want to offend.

I hope you changed? A camel toe isnt a compliment. It means your clothes don’t fit you. And it’s actually really quite grim and a bit disgusting that your husband saw that and actually said, “it’s nice to look at.” That’s just… yuck.

I think he was initially just pointing it out but when she got shocked and upset he tried to smooth it over by saying how much he liked it.

Or maybe he does actually find it attractive, who knows.

Either way I honestly don’t think he’s done anything wrong.