6 weeks into dating...what now?

[Nobbybobbly]

I have been dating a guy for 6 weeks now we’ve had 9 dates so far, and feel like I am developing feelings for him and I don’t want to as it’s really early days!
Our dates have always been so much fun and I can tell he’s really into me and then he messaged me the other day to say he likes me a lot. When the dates are over I know it’s goign to be a week or so until I see him again and it bothers me! I’ve really enjoyed being single (only been single for 6months after 10 yr relationship ended) felt really happy on my own and being independent, now I’m feeling pretty vulnerable. He doesn’t message a lot. I feel like I’m always waiting for a message off him, my life is very busy but I feel I’m constantly checking my phone and thinking about him. Every night takes me ages to get to sleep thinking about things. He’s suggested about us going away in August.
I just wanted to know where about things should be after the 6 week mark, I know it’s very early days and I didn’t want to commit myself to anyone as been really loving the freedom of being on my own after an abusive relationship. I just hope I am super aware with spotting the red flags too!

Do you not message him ? Not a lot of dates in there though - are you tight for time re kids ?

The relationship sounds about right for six weeks. He obviously likes you but is wise not to be too full on.

Your feelings are quite normal but continue to enjoy your independence (that in itself is quite an attractive trait), don't be OTT or he might be overwhelmed. Take it as it comes, reassess when you get to three months and know each other better.

Do you have any children, does he?

Good luck .

@TheStuffedPenguin yes I message him, i don’t really message him in the day though mainly of a night time. Well yes we are both really busy, my little girl is 3, and I’m juggling 2 jobs and a PhD. He works full time and has 2 kids. Both living with parents due to separation but both moving out soon!
@Bluerussian yes I agree that independence is attractive. I think with both of our lives being so busy it’s nice when we do get to have time. He has a 3 and 7 year old and I have a 3 ye old. He seems a lot keener in real life, I’m a bit quieter and hold back a lot more. But when I get back from the date it’s always me who messages first. But I don’t message a lot (try and hold back). Wonder how many times most people meet a week around this mark?

You haven't been single for long after such a long previous relationship.
What's his situation like? He may enjoy causal dating. Seeing how things go. It depends on the sort of person he is.
My dp called me every night and was always arranging the next date and I was in fact more chilled.
My exh obviously like me because we got married but he was just so laid back, he's still like that with his new gf's. It left me feeling unwanted. But they like it.

@itsrainingagain19 His situation is - he’s been divorced for 2 years and had a few first dates but that’s it. When we were out drinking I asked him why he was single and he said because I’ve never met anyone like you and then I asked him what his type was and he said he hasent got a type but I tick every box. And then he mentioned about going away for a few days together in August and said he likes me a lot. When he’s with me his body language says he’s very into me, but then when we’re apart, apart from night time there isn’t much communication at all. So I’m not too sure whether it’s casual dating he likes, i wouldn’t even know how to ask him that question, what would I say?! Surely if he’s said he likes me a lot and said he’s single because he’s never met anyone like me, would that indicate he may be casually dating others? This dating world is a minefield haha

@Nobbybobbly no it doesn't mean he's causally dating anyone else, it could mean that's the sort of person he is and that not a bad thing.
Problem with coming out of long term relationship is that your use to a person being around or available all the time. You say it's only been 6 months.
How people see relationships are different to each, and you can only know what he wants from him.
My dp saw me at the beginning every few days, but my friend only sees her bf once a week/ fortnight and they have dated like this for two years. They are moving in with each other soon.
I think you need to just wait and see his actions.
Listen carefully to what he actually does and not just what he say.

@itsrainingagain19 yes I totally agree with the actions speaking louder than words. When we’re together his actions show he really enjoys being with him so maybe I should just go off that. Yes I agree to I got use to having someone around, and there’s probably that expectation there somewhere.

I think this sounds about right to me. Me and DP both had kids involved when we first met. We used to see each other once a week for a date for the first 2-3 months, then we spent our first night together and it progressed to most weekends together.
We introduced kids after 8 months then moved in together after 2 years. 3 years we got engaged and then now after 4 years are expecting our own baby anyday.
Not rushing things makes it so you get to know each other properly.

@Greggers2017 that sounds like things moved at a nice slow and steady pace. So it was after 2 months that you spent your first night together? If you had to do it all over again would you do the same?

Hi @ Nobbybobbly, this sounds really nice to me. I would probs want to meet up more regularly than once a week but with children it can be difficult to do that. Also, some people just aren't big on texting and phoning. Do you mind me asking - are you quite young? I'm fifty and feel that people in their 30s and younger often text much more when dating. I think I'd be quite happy with less texting than ott contact early on, especially big he's keen when you meet in person.

@Emerald46 I’m 29 he’s 10 years older, so maybe that makes sense when it comes to communication. Ye once a week can be quite a long stretch especially if we’re only meeting for a couple of hours.

@Nobbybobbly yes I definitely would. Was lovely too as my partner booked a night away for us as we were seeing a concert too.