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Pregnancy

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Original poster

husbands phone on private browsing

28 replies

Giraffe5 · 02/08/2015 01:08

I'm 33 weeks pregnant and was using my husbands phone earlier when I realised it was set to private browsing.

I've always noticed his iPhone toolbar was black and mine white and so I know he had private on all the time. I'm now paranoid he is talking to other women or watching porn.

He said recently that he is the happiest he has ever been but we don't have sex as often as we used to. He used to be all over me and wanting it every day. He is working 6 days a week and really long hours as he has set up his own business. I do honestly believe he is at work when he says he is so maybe the change of sex drive is due to tiredness. He is knackered.

Should I ask him outright why it's on private? Or should I wait until I can use it and ask why it is on private browsing?

I'm wondering if it is because he has an online bank for his business. But I feel I need his answer for why it is on private browsing.

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wafflyversatile · 02/08/2015 01:24

You say you've always noticed it on private browsing so it's not a new thing since you got pregnant or the sex frequency dropped off? If you weren't thinking it was for affairs or porn then, why now?

Most people's sex lives drop off a bit (traditionally if you put a penny in a jar every time you have sex in the first year of marriage then take a penny out every time you have sex after the first year the jar will never be empty!). Many couples have less sex when the woman is pregnant. I think they worry they will dislodge the baby. Setting up a business is stressy and tiring which doesn't do a huge amount for one's libido.

Without some other more incriminating evidence I would say you probably are being a bit paranoid. Being pregnant is a vulnerable time when you have lots of hormones and changes to your body and are putting a lot of trust in your partner to be 'provider' and 'protector'.

Runningupthathill82 · 02/08/2015 07:32

I think you're very paranoid. I use private browsing all the time and don't look at porn or talk to other men.

Private browsing is very useful for if you were, hypothetically, doing something not quite legal (such as downloading Peppa Pig episodes to watch on the tablet later).

Maybe he's watching porn, maybe he's watching Game of Thrones, maybe he's into something geeky like World of Warcraft and doesn't want you to know...it could be anything. Maybe he just values his privacy.

If it were my DH I would think nothing of it. But as you're bothered, just ask him.

blondegirl73 · 02/08/2015 07:51

My parents put their iPad on private browsing accidentally and didn't know what they'd done or how to change it back. It's quite easy to do by mistake I think.

TravellingToad · 02/08/2015 07:54

I just realised my iPhone was on private browsing last week. No idea how! Doubt it's a big deal.

Rudawakening · 02/08/2015 07:57

Thanks to this thread I just realised my phone was on private browsing. No idea I'd clicked the button for it and I'm usually pretty good on technology. Maybe he has done the same and doesn't realise? I couldn't figure out why my toolbar was black either.

Junosmum · 02/08/2015 08:59

If he is watching porn is that an issue for you? I think it would be a niaive to think he never did, especially if your sex life has tailed off a bit. It's probably just that, nothing sinister, just doesn't want anyone who may see his phone seeing it accidentally. (I'm not trying to start a debate in the morals of porn!) Alternatively he could be looking at buying you a gift and wants to keep it secret.

Do you have any other reason to suspect he is speaking to other women? If there are no other warning signs I wouldn't be worried but I would ask. I'd expect the answer to be porn and as long as it wasn't anything illegal or really kinky, I'd be fine with it.

MizK · 02/08/2015 09:03

I shouldn't worry about it too much. As others have said, lots of people use private browsing for innocuous reasons.

If he lets you use his phone you have nothing to worry about. It's the ones who guard their phone at all times who have something to hide.

ChunkyAndAshamed · 02/08/2015 09:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DoTheDuckFace · 02/08/2015 09:10

Could he be sick of ads popping up all the time, for example anything I look at on Amazon gets advertised at the top of mumsnet I think private browsing stops it?

PotteringAlong · 02/08/2015 09:12

My toolbar is black. Does that mean my phone is private browsing? Who knew!

Pixi2 · 02/08/2015 09:17

Mine is set to private browsing permanently. Deliberately. Intentionally. I'm normally mnetting or looking a paint and curtain colours.

youarekiddingme · 02/08/2015 09:20

I didn't know private browsing existed! Or what it is

But you say he's always had it like that.

Any chance your feelings are more related to being so heavily pregnant and DH working so much. It's a difficult time. I remember feeling heavy and unattractive at that stage and wondering how ASAP could still fancy me when I felt so crap about myself.

mrsatkinson · 02/08/2015 09:27

my husband has openly admitted to me he uses private browsing to watch porn.
Its not an issue for me at all though, I know some would feel different.
Im 34 weeks pregnant and our sex life has tailed off too. Hes worried hell hurt me or the babies and Ive lost pretty much all my sex drive anyway over the last 3 weeks.
If its getting to you then talk to him about it.

ashtrayheart · 02/08/2015 09:36

Is it an iPhone? If you go to settings, safari, advanced then website data you can sometimes get an idea of what is being looked at.

Eminybob · 02/08/2015 09:39

I think private browsing blocks cookies, so like a pp has said, stops targetted advertising and the like.

Also, apparently it stops the prices of things like flights and holidays going up the more you search for them. Although this could be an urban myth. But maybe that's why? Has he booked a holiday recently?

TheWintersmith · 02/08/2015 09:48

I use private browsing because it blocks all the annoying ads and cookies.

Ever since I got stalked across the web by penguin bollards...

Eternalsunshines · 02/08/2015 09:51

Mine was on private browsing and I didn't even realise so maybe it's more innocent then you think

sanquhar · 02/08/2015 09:54

is it a company phone?

my dh has his phone on private so that his company can't see what he has been browsing on the web in his private time, which is usually car stuff or his boring, geeky hobby.

i doubt it's anything suspicious if you have access to his phone without him acting all weird about it.

Newtothis24 · 02/08/2015 15:15

My phones always on private browsing - I don't have a particular reason why I do it, I just do! It's not because i am using my phone for anything I shouldn't be! It also means my phone doesn't store any website data or cookies and I don't have to clear my history to make it run quicker etc! It probably doesn't even make a difference but makes sense in my head! My boyfriend has questioned it before and I told him the reasonings and he was fine with it! Have a chat with your partner, I'm sure it's more innocent than you suspect

Cheshirehello79 · 03/08/2015 11:29

I would speak to him but try make it not that you're accusing him of anything .. You just want to know.

Re porn thing ... Bet everyone is different . My ex husband used to watch it which didn't bother me much until I found out he was socially interacting with the women on porn pop up sending 121 messages that ended up into a divorce. Not saying everyone is the same but I'm now anti porn ..

Original poster

Giraffe5 · 03/08/2015 15:48

I've not spoken to him yet. He doesn't guard his phone and whenever I have looked over his shoulder, he seems to be doing something with online banking or looking at Cars (his hobby). Thank for all your replies x

OP posts:

Agent160 · 04/08/2015 09:49

On its own I wouldn't think that's worrying. If he's not generally secretive with his phone or displaying any other suspicious behaviour I wouldn't worry.

I use private browsing all the time, mostly to hide my Mumsnet addiction!

fastdaytears · 04/08/2015 09:52

I use private browsing if I want to google something so embarrassingly stupid that I don't want any trace.

Queenbean · 04/08/2015 09:53

Private browsing is great, means that the cookies can't follow you so when booking flights etc the prices don't keep changing

Think the pregnancy hormones might be at play here, hope it's going well for you

saucymom12 · 29/08/2017 09:39

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

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