Advice for persistent bedwetting - wearing me down with both DC and wondering what I’m doing wrong.

[LadyoftheLavaLamp]

Both my 7 and 5 year old still wee a lot at night. 7 year old has spells of being dry but then it will start again. 5 year old been soaked every night and never been dry. They both wear the Huggies night time pants, which are struggling with the quantities now they are getting bigger.

I had an appointment with the doctor for 7 year old a few months ago, followed the advice and also stopped taking DC to the toilet before we go to bed. Not made a jot of difference. Then tried the alarms from the Eric website, doesn’t wake effectively and it’s always too late by the time someone gets there to take to the toilet. It’s really wearing me down and hindering confidence with things like going to sleepovers. 7 year old is definitely becoming self conscious and embarrassed.

What can I do? Help and experience to crack this is appreciated! I understand it’s a hormone thing, is putting them both on the desmopressin the only way?

What time do they have their last drink and last wee?

My 5 yo is the same. I get the biggest size night time pants as he’s huge for his age, think they are age 8-12. I limit liquids after 6pm and he only has water during the day.
He was wetting through the pants so I used to put two on him. Hoping he becomes dry soon as it’s a slog

They have only water or milk and stop drinks at 5.30-6 latest, in bed for 7

Last wee also at 7

DS1 took medication from age 7, and he decided to wean himself off it age 10-11. Speak to your GP. Nothing else worked - alarms not drinking after 4pm etc.

Thanks @MeridaBrave , how did you get to the stage with the GP to get the prescription? Are there any side effects?

I’m still at it with DS 10. He’s on 3x tablets during the day and the high dose of Desmo melts at night. We’ve had bladder scan and waiting a second appt with the bladder clinic.

My DS wet until he was 10 and I did until I was 13 so I know how frustrating it can be.

Ask your GP to refer you to an Enuresis Clinic as they are far more knowledgeable than the GP will be. The 7yo is definitely old enough for the referral but your 5yo may have to wait until 6-7 years old, depending on the guidelines.

Have you spoken to an advisor with ERIC? They are very helpful for your particular situation. Also ensure that you are following all of the advice on their website - using the alarm and restricting fluids after a certain time alone is not enough I.e no apple & blackcurrant squash, two wees before bed (I.e teeth, toilet, story, then back to the toilet to try for a second wee); must drink a specified amount of fluid per day depending on your child’s age/sex I.e my DS at age 8 had to drink 1.4 litres per day, preferably most of it in the first half of the day - this helps the bladder to expand and be more able to hold see at night etc.

I definitely recommend the enuresis clinic and ERIC for advice.

I wet the bed regularly until I was around 14. Went to multiple clinics and had all the alarms but the only thing that worked for me was desmopressin, which helped me stay dry between 14-16. I did still wet the bed occasionally but much less often so it was manageable.

I would say (I’m sure you do this anyway) try not to make it a big deal in front of the kids. I used to be mortified to tell my mum and I’m sure the shame and stress of not wanting to do it was a self fulfilling prophecy sometimes

The ability to wake up for a wee is hormone related.. Ds had tablets from 13-15...

I’d put the youngest back in nappies and focus on the older one. It’s very normal to not be night dry at 5. I think you are simply getting ahead of yourself and making a problem where there isn’t one. My eldest wasn’t dry until 7. It just took time. And a lot of reminders before bed and loads of drinking during the day but not right before bed. I think a big part of the issue was actually dehydration.

10% of 5 yr olds wet the bed. 5% of 10yr olds wet the bed. It’s really hard work, I lost the plot when we were going through it. We bought bedwetting monitors and all-sorts of stuff.
One thing we were told was avoid blackcurrant anything, especially cordial as it irritates the bladder. This worked for a friend’s child, not ours. We went old fashioned and lifted our child every night when we went to bed. It does get easier, just have lots of sheets and waterproof sheets and pj bottoms etc. you are allowed to get overwhelmed. You are not the only one, and it really is tough.

Don’t you lift them before you go to bed, 7pm until morning is a very long time

DD wasn't dry until q late.

We saw the clinic which had her on star charts.

Rules such as no dark/fizzy/milk drinks after 4pm which could irritate the bladder.

No drinks at all after 6.

They prescribed desmopresin which had varied results.

Ultimately we were told it would be a matter of her bladder and system maturing by itself, which it eventually did. She was dry at 13.

We tried everything with my DD when she was 9 under the care of the enuresis clinic - desmopressin, medication for an active bladder (can’t remember the name), alarms. Turns out she just had a really small bladder! To stretch it, she started drinking a LOT of water quickly in the morning and then holding her wee for as long as possible. Day 1 it went straight through her but quickly got better. Took about 3 weeks and she never wet again, after never previously having had a dry night. Good luck. It’s really hard for all of you.

Yeah I was going to say are they not just too young still? How old were you when you were dry at night?

DH and I were both v late (I still wet the bed once or twice aged 10) and it can run in families. You just don’t have the hormone that wakes you up.

DS was about 9 I think and DD about the same. Never had any issues since (they’re both teens now).

@Grumpynan we did, then the nurse said to stop doing that

@DirtyCarrots I am convinced they both don’t drink enough in the day at school, I’ve asked the teachers/TAs to make sure they do but only so much you can do when they are out of the home most of the day

My son is now 18 , but we went through this.
In the end those alarm pants fixed it within a few weeks.
They sense moisture and make a noise.
it was if his body wasn’t recognising the signal when he was asleep and this taught him.

worth a try?

Tried everything - alarms (he is deep sleeper) not drinking after 5pm (3 hours before bed). Reward charts etc. Little brother was dry ages 3 which caused distress… went to GP and said we wanted to try desmopessin. He also has a smaller bladder and the only solution is to drink loads and loads (ideally in the morning!!) we did competitions as a family who could do the biggest wee. During this we discovered DH also has a small bladder. No side effects. At age 10 starting cutting pills in half. Then in quarters.

I was told can get medication from age 7.

Feel your frustration. DS1 bed wet until well over the age of 8. He wore the Huggies pyjama pants nightly and sometimes two pairs a night - he changed it himself if he woke up. It was so tedious for him (and those pants are not cheap!) and odd as actually DS2 was dry from age 3. We spoke to school nurse (worried about camps and sleepovers) and would have gone down the medication route but in the end it just sort of happened - over the course of one week I realised the pants were dry every morning. Nothing you can do at their ages aside from just have lots of spare waterproof sheets, not make a big deal (totally normal, not their fault), and try not worry about it. Easy for me to say of course, and I do remember worrying!

I would certainly not be trying anything too hard for a 5 year old, that's really normal at that age.
We used a Rodger bedwetting alarm (recommended on here) when DS was 7 and it was a game changer. Dry in two weeks, never had another accident (apart from once in a hotel!).

We messed about with timings of drinks, etc before that and none of it helped.

With the alarm, you need to sleep beside them so you can wake them the second the alarm goes off. It’s a total ballache but the point is training the brain at that point the pee starts to come.

A question I have, particularly for 7yr old, is are they motivated? Both mine have been late wetters and I have found that their wish to achieve dryness has greatly impacted results. DD1 got dry quickly with the alarm, I think she 6/7, and she really wanted it. She regressed though and had desmopressin later. Now at 10 I think she’s finally making enough hormone herself at night.

DD2 got dry with the alarm age 6 but wasn’t too bothered and regressed after a few months. She had a few fears about going to the bathroom at night which played a part. She was wetting most nights again, but then a beaver camp came on the horizon, and miraculously she was dry. Since then the odd accident but once every few weeks maybe, she’s now closer to 8. And then it seems to happen for a couple of nights in a row strangely.

Some will tell you on MN that it’s all about the hormone but I think it’s a mixture of that and deep sleepers, and their own motivation. You can’t make the required hormone level come any faster, but I think many kids can be trained to wake. I would recommend giving the alarm a real go for 2 weeks, sleep right beside them, make a big thing and get them involved in a plan to make it happen. This is for the 7yr old I mean. 5yr old may be a bit young, unless they are super keen to do it.

I have three children, all bedwetters, to different degrees. And one of mine is 14…

Get the referral to the continence nurses. If nothing else it’s reassuring to know it’s not something c youre doing.

@barkygoldie thanks for this, really helpful. I think he’s just such a deep sleeper he doesn’t hear it. I think I’ll have to wait until the summer holidays to do the sleeping beside him but I’ll give it a try.