Anyone deciding against a second child because of childcare costs?

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After a discussion tonight with my partner we’ve come to the conclusion that we won’t be having a second child purely because we want our little girl to have a nice life and we couldn’t afford another (mainly nursery costs) just feel very sad and feel like everyone around us has 2/3 kids each no advice wanted as such just wondering does anyone else feel like this?

We specifically had a larger age gap so we wouldn't have two in nursery at the same time. Then my second ended up being twins so it's been tough financially, but we're managing.

If it's to do with nursery costs rather than life in general, is it something you could wait a bit longer and build a buffer for?

I can imagine twins would be hard financially. I would like about a 3/4 year gap anyway but feel like I don’t want to be too old having the second and our first took a while to conceive so it might not even happen at all/or quickly either.

We purposely waited until until my eldest was going to start school before having a 2nd due to costs.

With maternity leave it would be a while before a 2nd would be in nursery so with age/timing you wouldn't have to wait until they started school.

We had decided to be one and done but the 30’free’ hours from 9months has meant we have decided to have a second as made
it much more manageable.

If you feel sad isn’t that a sigh you really want another? Your child can still have a nice life with a sibling. Admittedly maybe less or no holidays but gaining a sibling?

We wanted 2 (I’m an only child so didn’t want my DC to be an only), but timed it so we only had one lot of nursery fees at a time to make it manageable. Nursery fees are only a short period of time aswell compared to a lifetime of having DC.

Honestly, not having a second child due to cost is an excuse. If you were on the bread line, maybe but it’s just so your first can has a nice life. If you wanted a second, you’d make it work. You’d have a longer age gap or wait until the first starts school. You’d accept a slightly less nice life or those bits just wouldn’t be important to you.

It’s fine to have one child and be done. I have gone through all these excuses myself. I couldn’t work out how we’d afford nursery fees for number one but we did it because the want for a baby was so strong. You don’t need excuses to stop at one child. You can just want one child.

If you’re sad now there’s no way you’re not going to regret it in the future, people find a way to make things work

Would you not qualify for the 30 free hours? Should make it much better

Pretty much half the country!
Seriously, having just one child is the most popular option in many areas of the UK now. And cost is one of the main reasons. These days, most parents both work, and fewer people have retired grandparents able to help out

People worry too much about giving kids everything material and keeping up with everyone else, but if you want another child, can afford the essentials and a little extra to enjoy life somewhat, just do it.You will likely regret it if you don't and giving a child a sibling is a gift worth more than all the material stuff anyway.

Funding for childcare is from 9mths now (although i'm aware that top up fees/consumables charges can add up) there is also tax free childcare, or could you afford to be a SAHM for awhile?

We still pay £800 a month for 4 days even with the free hours.

I think you’re being really responsible OP, far too many parents have more kids without taking a second to think about the impact on their existing kids.

We chose for me to be a sahm till school and I enjoyed every second ...Now back to career but chose hours that enable me to be home when they all start returning from school

5 year age gap. I got a promotion in the intervening years as did Dh because we really prioritised work. And we found a nursery that only charged for lunches above and beyond funded hours, so nursery was about £200 a month. Never had any family help, but we staggered our hours and use no wraparound care. Now that they are school age, childcare costs are zero except for about 10 days of holiday club for younger one (£250 a year). It is possible if you want it and are a bit creative. Our income is about 4x what it was when our first started nursery, so those early years of nursery and putting in the time paid off.

Like others, and my 3 children are now all in their twenties, we had longer age gaps so that this wouldn't be so much of an issue. We had 3.5 years between each, so eldest was 7 and at school when middle child was at nursery/preschool and youngest was a newborn.

I get your reasoning but it seems short-sighted. Private nursery or preschool costs are for a short three or four years of each child's life. It can feel like forever when you are in the thick of it but it really isn't.

You sound as though you are already regretting or unsure of the decision, so I would seriously reconsider it.

We’re in Wales unfortunately so we won’t get anything for a while.

I for sure feel the same…

We both work full time and my parents have our little girl one day a week so we only have to pay for 3 full days but it soon adds up.

We couldn’t afford for one of us to be a stay at home parent unfortunately even though I would love it but my work are pretty flexible and we’re happy for me to return to the hours I wanted after maternity and will likely not mind me doing school hours in a couple of years too so we’re lucky in that respect.

If I didn’t want two I wouldn’t be having this discussion 🤔

I do wish we lived in England so that we could get the 30hrs childcare 😆 but unfortunately we’re about 20 mins from the border. I think we’re going to wait a couple of years and see where we’re up to with jobs and money at that point, it’s not just nursery we’re thinking about it’s the general costs for years too, supporting them financially in years to come etc.