Do you regret having children at 40

[lillie23]

I've just been reading an article this morning about how a mother regretted having her child when she was 40. The child is now 15 and she 55, and she is saying how hard it is and she really regrets having her at that age.

I had my second at 39 and at times I do think what have I done now the oldest is a bit more independent. But is it really that bad when they become teenagers and your over 50. Trying to look for some positive stories as even some of my close family are negative about having children later on and it's so annoying.

I had my one and only child at 45 (in fact very nearly 46). No, I don't regret it.

PS I am 60 this year, he is 14 next month.

No regrets. If circumstances had been different I can absolutely see the benefits of being younger when I had my children, but it's not the way things panned out.
I'm mid-50s and have two teenagers, if anything they have kept me young and given me a more youthful mindset.

I had children at 37 and 42. No regrets. Plenty of regrets that it took so long, infertility, treatment etc etc. But the end result and the children themselves? No, I wouldn't change a thing.

Oh absolutely 100% no!
my 10 year old is the light of my life! I’m 53 soon.

I have a 20 year old too and didn’t do so good with them, feel I’ve been given a wonderful opportunity to do parenting differently, better, freer and with utter joy!!

Like others have said, it was circumstances beyond my power that meant a pregnancy at 43. Wonderful.

How is the 55 year old finding it hard? If she were 10 years younger she could still be finding it just as hard. Health, mental and physical fitness must come into as well, she can't just blame it on age alone.

No I don't regret having my two DC in my 40's.

The same for me. My ds is 14, and I don't regret him for a second. I'm 59.

I was careful to maintain fitness (I run & cycle) so I could keep up with him, and generally to maintain energy levels. I wouldn't change a thing 🙂

I had mine at 38 and 39 and I don't regret it as I'm much more mature and patient now! 👍

No. I am a much better older mother than i would been as a younger mother. Just more life experience in general helped me.

The regret is currently not age related but dealing with a difficult hormonal teen related, it wouldn't matter if I was 15 years younger it would still be hard. It is difficult and there are times I do regret but like I say that's not because I'm older but because she's so bloody minded

I had my children at 27 & 31, and am now parenting an 18 yr old and 15 yr old while 46 and ragingly perimenopausal!

Every age and stage brings difficulties. No point in regrets.

People who have children later in life do so for a reason, whether that’s fertility issues, not meeting a partner until later or simply that they lived full lives of work, play, travel etc before having children. Or maybe they have a second go at parenthood later in life because they meet a new partner or just want more children! Those reasons are all valid.

Dont allow other peoples opinions to rain on your parade!

I am 35 and I have just given birth, I would like to have one more if possible before 40, God willing. Thought it would be difficult to concieve to have a baby by 40 and then running around with a ten year old at 50 but my husband thinks its fine. Hoping it could be before that though even 37 or so.

My uncle is clocking 60 and has a 15 year old and they have a whale of a time together.

Nope not an ounce of regret here ! Had mine at 39 and 41 . I don't often even think about the fact that I am older than other parents .
It is just how it worked out for me and I wouldn't want to swap being a parent for any other alternative life .

I was 42 when I had my DS and would be lying if I said I didn't have moments of thinking "what the fuck have I done". I had my ds and then went straight into peri menopause so that was fun. But now? I've no regrets. I'm 50 and made the decision to get fit so I'm around for my ds and able to keep up (for now!). There are definite pros and cons but honestly I wouldn't change it even if I could.

Absolutely none. As another pp said my 10 year old ds is the light of my life!

My parents were older though & so it didn't feel odd for me. DM has been an absolutely cracking nana too despite being 20 yrs older than most of the other gp's around the playground

I do know a couple of people in their early 60s who would like to retire but can't because they are still supporting uni students or see no prospect of young adult children leaving home.

In the article, she states that she had her first child in her twenties, then two more before this last one, so I'd say it's more that she's been parenting young children for twenty-five+ years that's worn her out.

BTW, she also previously wrote about what a 'demon' this child is: https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2359570/My-demon-daughter-Many-mothers-boys-long-little-girl-careful-wish-says-besotted-battle-weary-mother.html

Who knows, I will find out tho cos I had my first at 35.... HOWEVER, as much as the teenager me thought 35 was old and I wanted children in my early 20's it obviously never happened and thank god! 35 was completely the right age for me to have a child.... I'm mentally stable (as much as u can be with a toddler anyway 😂), I've lost a lot of my insecurities, i have a brighter outlook in life, I have a good loving partner etc .... The immature, self loathing, irresponsible, party girl, crippled mentally person I was all the way through my 20's and early 30's would have not made for a good upbringing for a child x

My youngest is 15 and I had her at 43. Of course I would have loved to have had babies earlier but my life didn’t work out that way. Actually having two teenagers (elder is 18) is great though. Of course I don’t have as much energy as I did at 39 but I am enjoying their company so much. It is a lot more fun than I imagined it would be, even though their problems get more complicated as they get older, and now there is exam stress etc. This is my favourite stage so far, and on the plus side I feel that my extra years of experience do help with teenagers.
They are both in the bathroom now, getting ready while playing all my favourite teenage tunes. I am in bed with coffee, listening along.

My DC both left home when I was 46. I downsized and paid off my mortgage. When they were babies, the other mums I met at toddler groups and nursery were all mid 40s.

At 51 now, I have absolutely no idea how older mums manage. I can barely look after myself, never mind a child! But I salute you and its probably your DC keeping you young!

My friend had 3 children age 41, 42 and 45. They have the BEST life, and they keep her young and fit!

I don’t regret it but I am so so tired. 42 and have a 4 year old, peri has deffo started and I am permanently exhausted. Probably would have had more energy if I had him earlier but it is what it is and he’s lovely, so not a lot I can do now.

This is interesting to me as I’m 40 next year and agonising over whether to have a second or not.
im not in great shape and constantly feel run down so it does put me off as I think if I feel this bad now what will I feel like in a few years? But I know I could fix a lot of that.

Not at all. Has Ds 7 when I was 40 . He is the light and joy of my life and makes it all worth it . If anything he keeps me feeling young - watching Super Mario in the cinema ,Easter egg hunts , playing football , knowing the manes of all the dinosaurs in the National History museum , visiting working farms - all things I I’ve but probably would not do by myself at 47 . When he is at birthday parties and sports clubs I see plenty of other parents and don’t really notice their ages.

@ZuckerwatterMaus slightly off topic but you sound like a very cool parent I bet your little boy adores spending time with you! Can I be your friend? Haha! Very reassuring though. Did you find the newborn phase hard? I feel vaguely sick at the thought of going back to it again!