I'm an idiot and I didn't support my baby's head

[minatrina]

Foolish and panicky first time mum to a two day old baby!

So this morning, my DH pointed out that I haven't been supporting my baby's head properly when I put him in and take him out the cot. I saw midwives do it just with their hands underneath the baby's armpits so I just did the same - but I didn't realise they were supporting his head with their fingers at the back, too.

So I spent the whole night last night picking him up and putting him down without supporting his head, and his neck would have flopped back every time I put him down.

I feel like such an idiot and I'm scared that I've caused damage to my baby. I feel too stupid and like a bad mum to ask the midwives. Does anyone know what damage doing this for a night could have caused?

Thanks

No he will be fine.
Adam Kaye talks about how much force a doctor uses to pull a baby out with forceps etc and how tough babies actually are. I am sure you were gentle with your baby even if you didn’t support his neck with your fingers

If you put him down with one hand behind his head then the other arm holding him you might feel safer. I could never do it "the midwife" way it was too fiddley. He will be fine

He will be absolutely fine, you have caused him no damage whatsoever just adjust how you lift him/support him now. Congratulations on your new baby!

Please don’t worry, you’ll have done no harm. As a pp has said babies are no where near as fragile as we think they are. You’ll remember to support their head from now on, think no more about it!

Congratulations on your new baby ❤️

@minatrina Welcome to life as a mum - you will worry about everything you do from now on 😅

You’re definitely not an idiot and your little boy will be absolutely fine 😊 you know now so just adjust how you lift/support him from now on 😊

Congratulations 💙

Welcome to motherhood.

This is how it starts 😂. I found it easier to hold under armpits but stretch my fingers out so they supported the back of head.

You're baby is fine don't worry.

Next is will be "my baby has rolled off the bed, should I go to A&E?"

"My baby swallowed a bit of bath water, could it have aspirated into her lungs and is there a chance of delayed drowning?"

"My toddler has bumped their head, is there a chance of a skull fracture?"

"My toddler has a temp of 39.4 but otherwise seems fine, should I sleep on their bedroom floor and stare at them all night?"

^ these are all me and you'll know what we mean in a few years 😂😂. It doesn't get less worrying.

Mine is nearly 5 now and my new thing is bruises and where they've come from 🤦🏼‍♀️.

He'll be fine they aren't as fragile as they seem. My first daughter had good head control from birth so it took some getting used to my second daughter's floppy newborn head/neck.

@Eeiliethya

Welcome to motherhood.

This is how it starts 😂. I found it easier to hold under armpits but stretch my fingers out so they supported the back of head.

You're baby is fine don't worry.

Next is will be "my baby has rolled off the bed, should I go to A&E?"

"My baby swallowed a bit of bath water, could it have aspirated into her lungs and is there a chance of delayed drowning?"

"My toddler has bumped their head, is there a chance of a skull fracture?"

"My toddler has a temp of 39.4 but otherwise seems fine, should I sleep on their bedroom floor and stare at them all night?"

^ these are all me and you'll know what we mean in a few years 😂😂. It doesn't get less worrying.

Mine is nearly 5 now and my new thing is bruises and where they've come from 🤦🏼‍♀️.

@Eeiliethya Ohhh, you mean... “There’s a bruise. Does my child have some kind of rare blood disorder that I’m missing the signs of, or has he just bumped himself on one of his many climbing expeditions?!” 🤣🤣

I feel your pain! Mine is only 13 months though 🙈 started walking at 10 months and by 11months could get from the floor up and onto the back of my sofa 😳 wild child!

This post has made me giggle. We have all been there - the random marks, suspecting blood disorders from bruises the lot.

I suspect we will never have peace again. I co-sleep and often wake up with a jolt if DD even twitches thinking she's falling out of the bed.

Baby will be absolutely fine OP. When doctors do their checks they hold their hands and lift them without supporting their heads. To check their grip I guess.
I’m not surprised you’re worried though as others have said parents worry about everything! Don’t beat yourself up, you can’t know everything.

@IcedCoffeeAlways

Yes 😆 the unexplained bruising from hell. Makes me twitch!

Thank you everyone - you've calmed me down! I'm sure I have lots more paranoia to come though 🤣

Thanks again!

@minatrina

Thank you everyone - you've calmed me down! I'm sure I have lots more paranoia to come though 🤣

Thanks again!

@minatrina I can assure you - it never stops 🤣 there’s always something else to worry about 😅 Enjoy all your newborn cuddles and that fresh baby smell 😍 I swear I get broody just thinking about sniffing the top of a baby’s head 🙈🤣🤣🤣

@HumphreyCobblers

No he will be fine. Adam Kaye talks about how much force a doctor uses to pull a baby out with forceps etc and how tough babies actually are. I am sure you were gentle with your baby even if you didn’t support his neck with your fingers

I always remember this too since I heard it, puts it in perspective a bit doesn't it 😂

Don't worry. We've all done similar, I am sure. I know I did and my three survived. They are all grown up now, and despite my clumsiness when they were babies they still have their heads, and can hold them upright without them falling off.

You haven't been rough, your baby will be fine. They are a lot more resilient that we give them credit for.

@HumphreyCobblers

No he will be fine. Adam Kaye talks about how much force a doctor uses to pull a baby out with forceps etc and how tough babies actually are. I am sure you were gentle with your baby even if you didn’t support his neck with your fingers

@HumphreyCobblers It’s quite crazy actually isn’t it?! Even with a straight forward, uncomplicated “natural” birth they’re squished and squashed in all directions! Add in forceps/ventous etc and they can handle an awful lot!! Then we treat them like they’re made of the most fragile glass imaginable 😅😅 (Obviously they are fragile to an extent and incredibly precious - not suggesting anyone goes flinging their kids about 😬😅)

Also, when you hold them under their armpits, their shoulders rise up and support their neck. Have a look next time, you'll see. The neck holding business is important, but you'll soon see when.