How soon is too soon to leave baby with grandparents?

[Tryingtobe123]

Hi all

It is my boyfriends birthday in June when our son will be 11 weeks old. My parents who we trust 100% have offered to have him for a night so that we can have some drinks with our friends. I am formula feeding and he is generally a really relaxed happy baby.

I am apprehensive that I’ll feel anxious about leaving him when he’s that young but also know it will be lovely for him to spend time with my parents. When did you all leave baby with grandparents? Is this too early to be leaving him with them?!

I don't think there is a right or wrong answer to this. The best time is when you're ready and if baby is otherwise happy and healthy.

If you feel able to relax then it might be fabulous to have some you time but if you're e likely to be checking your phone for updates or constantly worrying then it's probably a bit too soon.

We left my daughter with my parents when she was 5 weeks old.

The right time is when you feel ready for it.

I have a young baby and would leave her with my mum for a few hours if I was formula feeding but personally wouldn't do overnight until she was much older and able to communicate if something was wrong. I would probably drop her at my mums on our way into town and then not drink and pick her up after dinner. Althpugh I'm BF so this is unlikely to happen for me for a while! But it's totally personal preference and what you feel comfortable with so just do what works for you 😄

I left mine with my parents overnight at around 12 weeks. I think at whatever age, the first time will always be an anxious one because you've been strapped to then for so long and you naturally worry. If you feel like you'd like a night away, I'd say go for it. I was in constant contact with my parents the first time and they'd send me photos of her and let me know when she'd napped or when she was down for the night. This made me feel a lot better and I could enjoy the time with my partner more knowing she was happy and content.

When you think it's the right time. It's not for anyone else to judge.

There's no right time, whenever you feel ready, that's the time xx

@LaBellina

The right time is when you feel ready for it.

This. I don't trust my mum, so it's not an option.

There's no right answer. The variables are:

• your preferences
• your baby
• the grandparents
• circumstances

If you think you'll feel anxious don't do it. If you think it'll be fine, do do it.

When we had our first, it was the year all our friends got married and so we left our baby with parents for the first time at 8 weeks. She was breast fed and so I had lots of pumped milk stored in the freezer ready for it! The build up to leaving her was actually the hardest bit! Once we went, we had a great time and my parents absolutely loved having her. She had lots of sleepovers in her first year! When we had our second, all of our friends were having their first and so we had no events! He wasn't left for a sleepover until 15 months. Both ages were right for the situations we were in! All you can do is decide what you feel comfortable with.

I would leave your baby and go have a night out.

This won't be popular, but I'd do it and get yourself and your baby used to it from an early age. If you have parents you trust who are willing that's fabulous and the sooner you do it the better.

There are people with 8 year olds who've never left their child with anyone because they never have and the child and parent have got 'stuck' like that making change difficult.

My kids would merrily go to either set of grandparents so we could attend weddings or whatever from quite early on, 12 weeks or so.

We went to Spain when our daughter was 12 weeks for 2 nights and tbh it was great because she had no idea. Would be a different story now she's nearly two.

It isn’t compulsory bigus!

I left my 2nd after 3 weeks as I was my best friends bridesmaid. Was supposed to be away two nights but I rearranged things to make it only one. He was great. The grandparents loved it. If you feel ready then go for it.

God I would have killed for that. It never happened in 13 years.
Take their hand off.

Also completely agree with pp about getting the kids used to it. Makes life so much easier knowing my two will go with either set of grandparents very happily should they need to.

My 11 year old has never spent a night at his grandparents.

@lavenderandwisteria Of course it's not compulsory.

Just saying that if you're the type of couple who like to go out and attend things AND are lucky enough to have willing grandparents, then do it from early in and you'll have less problems later. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I don’t think it is a given that you will have problems if a child isn’t sleeping elsewhere from being a newborn.

If you want to and are happy then it isn’t a problem, but I didn’t spend a night away from home until the year 6 residential and I had no issues sleeping away.

A happy and secure child will be fine. No one should feel they have to be arranging nights away from their tiny baby for this reason.

Same @PurBal it’s sad isn’t it but even at nearly 2 years old, I wouldn’t do it.
We have a lovely babysitter but her services don’t come cheap so this really limits our amount of couple quality time.

There’s no right answer.
I’m shipping my 4 week old off to my parents for an afternoon soon so DH and I can have a few hours together when we’re both awake and neither one of us is holding a baby.

Maybe try out a few hours in the day first to see how you feel before committing to overnight?