Email from my child’s infant school uk? I’m sorry but this all seems wrong?

[Frazzledmomma123]

Dear Families,

I wanted to address a concern that has understandably been raised regarding the use of a ‘safe word’ to move children out of the classroom. On reflection, we recognise that terms such as safe word and evacuation can raise anxiety and concern.

We agree that children should not have to leave their own classroom in order to feel safe. However, there are times, though not daily, when moving the class is the safest option for all children. This has happened a few times, and only when absolutely necessary. We fully accept having to go to such measures is a worry, but it is a system that schools are having to turn to more and more. I appreciate this provides little comfort, but hopefully helps you hear that supporting emotional regulation has become a real focus and factor for schools nationally.

The children themselves were involved in choosing the word, and the purpose was to minimise panic and keep the situation calm if it needed to be used. Our aim is always for every child to feel safe, happy, and able to learn in their classroom, as is their right. We are putting a range of steps and strategies in place to work towards this, and we do not intend this approach to become the “go‑to.”

We also want to reassure you that we are supporting children to understand that behaviour is a communication of feelings, but the way those feelings are shown must still be safe and appropriate. We do not condone unsafe behaviour, and we share parents’ concerns about children seeing this as “normal.” I have spoken with the class to reiterate that message and reminded them that they should always talk to a trusted adult if they feel unsure or worried. In school, children choose five trusted adults; it may be helpful to have a similar conversation at home about who your child feels they can talk to at school.

We are very aware that things are challenging at the moment. We do not want this to continue, and we are actively putting support in place to help all children feel safe and settled in their learning environment.

Thank you for reading, please keep speaking to us about your concerns.

Any context?

What do you feel seems wrong about it? I take it to mean that parents think some children are becoming so violent/uncontrollable in school that other children are regularly unsafe in the classroom. But the school is saying that the class has had to be moved a few times and they don’t want it to become regular. Without more context of exactly why the class is being moved it’s hard to say whether it seems wrong

That seems a very measured and well-explained letter. What are your concerns? The school is stating that they don't like this situation and they are trying to address it but until they can help the child who is disregulated learn to calm themselves they have to clear the classroom quickly for the safety of other children.

What a long winded, convoluted email. I gather the whole procedure is because parents are up in arms at procedures being put in place to protect their little darlings who must not be made to feel anxious whatsoever.

Most schools have robust lockdown, invacuation or evacuation drill procedures and practice them regularly without the need for things like safe words. I suspect if they had just got on with it without all this safe word nonsence the children would not have batted an eyelid.

When I ran children's classes I practised fire drills/evacuation procedures termly with children as young as four. They saw it as normal, they did it at school.

These days you do have added considerations such as a potentially violent or estranged parent getting onto site (had to deal with that one myself in the past.) Secondary schools have angry ex students making threats etc, plus there seems to be an increase in voilent, unsafe behaviour from some current pupils of all ages.

It's not really surprising, but it should be. It's like corridor care in hospitals-things we once thought would never happen are now accepted.

I think the school are being sensible and have tried hard. I also agree that describing it as a safe word was a mistake.
However there may be times when to keep children safe it is most effective to move them. Having a special word and process is sensible, in fact a practice would be in order this too. This means that if it becomes necessary the children know what to do & what will happen making it easier for staff to protect them.

I think this is probably pretty common.

My own dc has talked about "when X gets upset he throws things and hides under the table so we go in the hall until he calms down" quite matter-of-factly, and X seems to be someone they otherwise get on well with (invited X to dc's birthday party and they were fine there). I'm guessing X has some difficulties with emotional regulation and the school are supporting X as best they can.

Definitely hard to judge without context. My daughter's school had to evacuate a couple of classrooms a few years ago because someone climbed the fence during a police chase, but I think it makes a difference if the reason for evacuation is internal or external.

What seems wrong about it?

schools have been required to have lockdown procedures and practice them for some time. When I worked in primary we had two lockdowns both times because of a dog on premises that was trying to bite people.

in general if a child is violent the advised procedure is to remove the rest of the class as this does not risk injury to children or adults. If a child is unsettled to the point where this is happening regularly then in general additional support is needed.

it’s not generally popular with parents as they tend to prefer that the child who is being violent attends school elsewhere but that is virtually impossible these days.

When my daughter was in school a few times they had to go out to the playground when one girl got particularly disruptive. She was easier to calm and regulate in the classroom and she was then taken to the SEN dept when calm. It sounds like this is what is happening here?

It's sad, not wrong. There are obviously some issues in the classroom that can't be resolved without moving the children out of harms way.

Wrong how?
honestly stop wringing your hands over this, speak to them about your concerns (as per the last line of their email).
The last class I worked in we regularly had to evacuate the classroom (once a week on a good week) because of a child’s behaviour, it was unsafe to remove him because he was doing things like throwing scissors and chairs and he was quite fisty, it was much easier, quicker and safer to relocate the rest of the entire class to the hall.

It is easier and safer to walk 29 calm children out of the room than to manhandle one extremely agitated one.

Would you prefer to be happening?

I think you’ve possibly misread the context @Comefromaway , classes tend to be ‘evacuated’ when a child becomes violent (a term I prefer to ‘dysregulated’, which can encompass many other behaviours).

I see it regularly as a primary supply, and have recently had to carry out two evacuations myself. I’m surprised, frankly, parents accept the levels of violence (without meaningful consequences) that now exist in primary schools. I suppose, like everything, there will have to be serious injury, or worse, before something happens.

Or the OP’s letter could be referring to a fire drill, it is a bit ambiguous!

Sounds reasonable to me, sad that schools have to do this because some children are forced into mainstream when they clearly need a specialist place but this is how it is now unfortunately.

We had this at our school with a little boy who was not violent but due to his Autism would become overwhelmed sometimes and run around throwing things and damaging things in the classroom (breaking them etc) which was obviously frightening for the other dc. He calmed more quickly and would stop sooner if the room was evacuated. He is now in a special school where he can be properly supported.

I think school are trying to keep parents of the other dc in the loop, but the reason for the way it is put is that they can’t breach the confidentiality of the child who is struggling in this way.

OP has posted a few times on MN about behaviours of ND pupils.

I assume you are unhappy with this email @Frazzledmomma123

What do you think the solution is bearing in mind school budgets and the fact that the Government want as many pupils with special needs in mainstream schools

Long winded and written by AI but I don’t see the problem with it.

Parents don’t “accept” it, but what’s the alternative? The government until recently has failed to invest in SEN schools or anti poverty and now we’ve got a crisis in both and it’s coming out as violence in children with high needs.

Parents who can afford it often go private - but actually lots of kids in private school are SEN and dysregulated too. I see posts complaining about THAT here all the time.

Most ordinary families can’t afford private and most parents also understand that every child deserves the opportunity to be educated. And this sort of procedure keeps everyone safe.

I had to do this once last year and the kids were all bloody thrilled they got to hang out in the library instead of doing maths. It was a child struggling to self regulate. No one was hurt and it was about 15 minutes in all.

It's not ideal of course but it isn't something that should traumatise children. All schools will have procedures for this.

That email sounds AI though which isn't great.

Sounds like you have a chair thrower in the class.

Very very waffly. If children are being regularly evacuated due to danger, why isn’t the dangerous person being removed instead?

Indeed, it sounds like this letter has arisen because some parents have tried not to accept it - i.e., have complained - and so have got a letter pointing out, politely and a bit long-windedly, that there isn't another option.

It seems like the school is organised and putting in place measures to keep all pupils safe. What is your issue with the email?

If it's just that you don't think your DC should ever be impacted by a child with additional needs behaving in a disruptive way, you need to lobby the government to provide adequate support for these children.

If the school have previously failed to prevent children from being hurt, that's concerning but surely these measures are a good thing?