What shall I tell school as reason for DS absence

[bumpertobumper]

DS is doing his a levels - exams start in three weeks. His school policy is that all students have to be in for the full day - not just classes like many sixth forms. They don’t break for study leave until after half term, by which time he will have done most of his exams.
He finds it much easier and more productive to study at home, so on days when he doesn’t have many classes he has already stopped going in, and after next week says he doesn’t want to go in at all. Apparently most of his friends are doing the same.

Do I just keep reporting him sick? I don’t know what to say to school… what do they want to hear from me?

I am not looking for a discussion about the rights and wrongs of him not going in at this stage - he has done very well in his mocks, is motivated to do well and I trust him to know what works best for him.

What, if anything, would be the consequences of telling the truth? They can't fine for unauthorised absence as he's presumably above compulsory school age and no school is going to kick him out this close to exams. The only think I'd want to check is if it'll stop him attending prom or other leavers events.

He might be doing himself a disservice by not attending classes to go through past papers and hone exam technique. I would not bother ringing him in “sick” though, he needs to face any consequences.

I'm surprised an 18 year old isn't responsible for reporting the reasons for their own absence?

Surely at 18 you need to be accountable for your own actions? I mean just tell the school you're away and don't know why he's absent? If you are forced to give them some response about it.

Well the wrong is he thinks it's fine to lie to be absent and tbh not sure why your ringing in mine has been since 16 himself the two times he has genuinely been ill

The only think I'd want to check is if it'll stop him attending prom or other leavers events.

Up to ds to check for himself. No way should op be running round doing this at his age.

What’s the disadvantage to telling the truth?

Why lie for him? I've never lied to report my minor child's absences because that would teach my son not to accept consequences of his actions and as well as support lying.

If he's made a choice than he needs to accept the consequences of his actions. He can defend his reasoning with the school not force it on you.

Tell the truth. It’s that funny anomaly where if they were working they’d rightly be seen as an adult, but schools insist on infantilising them be deferring to the parent.

We had this during GCSEs. I logged her absent on ParentMail and stated honestly that she was studying at home. They didn’t follow up with me. I think they can allocate an appropriate code to it. I suspect our school just didn’t want a generic ‘everyone on study leave’ policy as for many kids it would not have been in their best interests.

I think some schools are enlightened enough to realise that even if a majority of pupils are better served by being in school, some really do revise better at home (and even more so if it removes a lengthy commute from their day). In those cases, the school will often say "no problem", but they don't want to be too public about it because it would undermine efforts to get the lazier students in. (Getting permission is probably more easily done by speaking to the head of sixth in private than arguing in tutor time.)

Learning to make a well-argued case is more useful than learning to lie. Unless the school is petty enough to use non-attendance to exclude students from leavers' events, there aren't really any consequences at this point, anyway. So if they can't get official permission, you could just give the honest reason, and leave the school to decide whether they want to record it as authorised absence, study off-site, or unauthorised absence.

I would not report diddly squat. Their policy is a massive over reach for a sixth form. If they contact you, I’d tell them so

You dont get fined for sixth form attendance anyway

You don’t. You leave it between him and them.

He’s over 16 so no risk of a fine - just tell them the truth. At least then his teachers know they won’t see him.

Not sure how it is in the area you are in but in schools around here parents are required to report the absence through a parent app even in Year 13. You also have to give a valid reason for absence.

Is he an adult now? If so, he needs to act like one. He goes to see head of sixth form /whoever is responsible for 6th form and tell them that he knows his own study style, he understands and appreciates they are putting on study classes for the run up to exams, but he knows he will get more out of that time by lone study at home so he’s not going to come in. Would they like him to email in each day so they know he’s not going in? He’ll come in for any lesson periods where he feels he needs to clarify something.

In my experience, if an 18 year old acts like an adult and has an adult conversation, rather than like a naughty child, they get a better result. Tomorrow first thing he goes in and tries to have this conversation. If he can’t get time with head of sixth form/year 13, he sends a polite email in explaining his decision and asking how they would like his absence reported.

I wouldn't dream of lying for an 18 year old.
Most schools don't mind if motivated people study at home - I think the blanket attendance is for those who don't (and it makes it easier for people to go in if they think they have to).

If there is any issue with prom or leaver events, then I think he needs to decide if it's worth it. I still wouldn't lie.

@Anywherebuthere when mine attended a separate stand alone sixth form they were responsible for contacting college for their absence. As they are over the age of 16 there is no legal requirement for them to attend college and a parent would not be fined for non attendance.

They do however, need to be aware of their attendance and as such if their attendance drops below a certain level then the college can ask them to leave if there is not a good reason for it. Sixth form also felt it helped them to be accountable for their education. They put a lot of scaffolding in place to support children but for some you can only do so much.

OP in this instance I think I would advise my child to speak to his head of year and discuss it with them and present his reasons. There is no point in lying.

We had this. Told them the truth.

I am aware the OP didn’t want discussion about whether her DS should attend, but since it might be of use to other parents, as an A level teacher for more than20 years I have never known a kid to perform better when they stop attending after Easter. Bright kids who I would have definitely said i could have helped to get an A* get As etc. On average students who opt out of school in the massively important last push tend to underperform by a grade.