AIBU to expect men to use the male showers at the pool?

[Nyshift]

I went swimming today, at our local pool there are individual changing rooms then an open area for loos and showers, clearly signed female to the right and male to the left. I have never seen a woman in there male side of the showers or vice verse. So I finish my swim today to find there is a man in the female showers - I was livid!! There was space in the male showers he was just talking to someone and didn’t want to stop. I asked him is this was a mixed shower, he ignored me, someone else said to me ‘if you’re uncomfortable I’ll go in the men’s’ which she did, I said ‘I wasn’t wanting you to move!’ We are all still wearing swimwear there are no naked bodies…. So AIBU to expect the men to stay in their own space? Or should I stop clutching my pearls and get on with my day? 🤣

how enthralling was their conversation that they couldn't wait for two minutes to stop and restart after showering!

tbh it's quite hard to have a chat while showering anyway over the noise of the shower, trying not to get water in your mouth, concentrating on washing, etc.!

YADNBU, sounds like she wanted to keep talking to him (and her going in the men's showers is equally inappropriate), but the whole point of having M/F separate showers is if, for example, he was trying to chat her up and she felt uncomfortable and wanted to get away, there is a safe space for her (and of course you and everyone else there) to go to that he can't/shouldn't enter.

She is at fault too, every woman encouraging men to use women's spaces makes them feel it's 'not an issue' and makes it even harder for those who do mind to enforce it.

Some of the women who most need a separate space are the ones who would find it hardest to ask for it/stand up for themselves/their kids (previous experience of DV, additional needs, the very old/infirm or very young/shy), so good on you for telling them, OP.

Speak to management. The signage needs to be clear. If it's female only then he has no right to be there. If it's mixed sex, they need to change their signs.

How open is this open area? Because if it's pretty open then the "men on the left / women on the right" thing seems fairly pointless to be honest.

If it's two distinct rooms through separate doors then you definitely have a point.

If I saw a bank of poolside open showers I’d presume there mixed Wouldn’t particularly of looked for or noticed any signs
it no different than standing next to someone at the steps all open and all clothed

Only moments before you were in the pool with this bloke, with both of you in swimming gear. You were fine with that. If people were naked, I would be bothered, but this? Nah.

the fact that when OP asked about it being mixed showers he didn't say "oh, really, there's no signs" or "no they aren't" or whatever AND the woman said that she would leave and go "in the men's" suggest that they were both aware these were the women's showers.

How can you see into both male and female showers? It sounds like they are communal

Of course he shouldn't be in there. Get his arse thrown out

This isn’t relevant but I had something similar albeit different and I’m starting to reverse things and unsettle the men…
At a David Lloyd, in the spa area, between sauna and jacuzzi, fully clothed there’s a 4 sided tiled single shower unit with an open doorway.
Man stands openly staring at me, looking me up and down watching me whilst I’m showering.
(normally most people wait outside to make their position clear, that they are “next” and are waiting, but turn their backs and gaze into the distance out of the windows or something).

It happened again recently, and I had my rehearsed response ready this time.
”Do you want to come in here with me”?
Man totally fazed, muttered something about there not being enough room and scuttled away. Later saw me and scuttled past at high speed to exit the club…
rather than feeling indignant - I’ll take it as a win 😃

I don't understand how the other woman going into the men's would help - did she mean that they would both go and continue there conversation there? I don't think it's a good solution because while there's less of a risk to physical safety for a woman to be in the men's than for a man to be in the women's, men are still entitled to some privacy and truth in advertising. In general I think that there are very good arguments for having men's, women's AND "everybody" facilities but in this case it seems like the solution would have been to part whilst showering and then continue the conversation in a common space post-showers.

Is it open / part of the corridor I to the pool where the left side is male and the right side female but actually fully open and no walls between. If so then I think you’re being reasonable

if there’s a door with F/W on it and a seperate closed area that you can’t see from anywhere communal and he was there then he was being VVV unreasonable.

but it’s hard to say which from your text. Maybe we need a diagram!

Speak to management. The signage needs to be clear. If it's female only then he has no right to be there. If it's mixed sex, they need to change their signs.

Yes it’s an open corridor into the pool with showers both sides. Women to the right, man to the left. Don’t know how to upload a diagram!! I do see peoples points about being in the pool with him being ok so showering should be ok but it just wasn’t ok for me!! I think more signage is needed myself!

So all the showers are in the same room?

In that case I think YABU, what difference does it make?

So the men are literally the other side of the open corridor? This sounds like they are only signed as male and female to match with the changing rooms, rather than there being any particular privacy in the showers. In this instance, I can't see that it makes any difference. If they were showers in an enclosed area, I would agree with you.

I wonder if the woman he was talking to didn’t want to talk to him any longer and went into the female showers to get away, only to find he followed her?

He’s a man who either has zero awareness of the boundaries of women & girls, or zero care for the boundaries of women & girls.

either way he’s a red flag.

Read OP description of the setup it’s ridiculous it won’t even register to me there segregated there all in the same open corridor