AIBU to feel hurt when MIL ignores photos I send?

[summerpeach22]

I would love to know if I am being oversensitive here!

My MIL lives in a different country, so we occasionally send each other messages over WhatsApp. Since giving birth to her grandson, I send her pictures now and again, which she requested, but rarely responds or acknowledges the images with a 'like' heart, etc. She's pretty tech savvy, and I can see she has seen the photos or messages, so it's definitely intentional. If my husband sends photos, she is very responsive and always on her phone when we are together.

It's a bit like this with personal messages too, it's hard to have a dialog because she just chooses not to respond, and then will message a week or two later on something entirely different. For example, I ordered something to send to their house with her approval, and instead of letting me know it arrived, when I sent her a message to say it was out for delivery. She messaged my husband about it!

I don't care that much about the personal messages, even though I'd love to have a more consistent chat going on. But I find it really odd not to react to photos or make a comment.

I would stop making the effort. One less thing to do!

I'm not a great one for photos. But I keep in touch with an old school.friend who lives abroad via email and she sends me a few photos regularly. I used to send her the occasional photo of something significant to me. And she never ever commented on the photos I sent so I stopped sending her any. And it surprised me how hurtful I found her lack of interest. So I can really sympathise with how upsetting you must find your Mil's lack of comment on the photos of your DS.

From what you say it sounds as though she doesn't really regard you as " one of the family" I agree with pp I would stop making an effort with her.

Stop sending pics. She doesn't regard you as family. Let her son be lumbered with the legwork.

Why are you messaging her constantly?

Just leave the comms effort with your husband, one less thing to do and her lack of response won’t wind you up, happy days!

Treat her exactly the same. Don't send anymore photos and don't always respond to her messages, see how she likes it.

She isn’t.

I would let dh take on the photo sending role.

Definitely hurtful

Not literally, but enough that the MIL is ignoring her and OP is carrying on anyway

I would just let your partner communicate with her from now on. I wouldn't bother if she doesn't respond to your messages!

Surely the answer to this is obvious…stop bothering with her.

Her actions are telling you something.
Stop wasting your energy ,it's not appreciated and let your DH deal with "everything " from now on. Do not step in and buy Xmas presents on his behalf nothing.

Be very thankful that your MIL lives in another country. Don’t think too much about this and simply pull back. Life’s too short to waste on people who will never reciprocate your energy & enthusiasm.

Easily resolved by not sending pictures! Why on earth would you continue when she only responds to your husband?

sounds like she doesn’t understand the accepted norms of messaging?

Is there any evidence that she doesn’t much like you. could it be that you are her sons wife but not her choice?

are you a different religion or something, did she want him to have an arranged marriage wirh a local girl and youre not?

i wouldn't bother with her. you have your husband and are presumably happy and that’s all that matters.

Do you have a group chat with her and your DH?

I think that's really odd, my Dil sends pictures regularly of my 5 month old granddaughter and I reply to every single one. I absolutely love seeing what she's up to. I'd really stop sending them but understand why you are disappointed.

Stop doing it. Let your husband do it.
If she complains tell her why you stopped bothering.

OP, you are not unreasonable to be hurt. I
would be too.

But I would stop with the effort..

Her loss.

Its really rude that shes no responding. Lets be honest it aounds like shes no keen on you.

But what I find strange is why would anybody want contact with someone that doesn't want contact with them? Why do you continue to send messages when you get no response?

Don’t send her any more pics. Don’t order anything else for her. If she asks for anything tell her to ask her son.
One less job for you so a win all round.

She's made it clear she only wants messages from her son.

Does your husband text your parents and arrange deliveries etc for them?

Stop engaging with her, one less job as a previous poster said