AIBU to worry my daughter is picking up too much slang?

[DeBore]

DS16 has gone to the local grammar for sixth form rather than staying private and we’ve noticed she’s picked up rather a lot of slang. Whenever she’s on the phone to her friends her whole way of speaking changes - the wide vocabulary we’ve given her just disappears and it’s all “like”, “literally” and “innit” 🙄
We don’t want to control who she’s friends with of course, but would it be nice if she at least spends some time with girls who speak well. Speaking properly opens so many more opportunities,more hireable in good jobs, higher positions later in life. You know what teenagers sound like nowadays… it’s rather grating.

If thats the worst shes doing then your lucky!!!

People are generally quite capable of modulating their vocabulary to the situation. I'm sure she can still use all the big words what she learnt if required, in a job interview for example.

Unfortunately that seems to be common irrespective of where they go to school! Drives me mad.

My highly educated young adult dd keeps using all sorts of gen z expressions that infuriate and amuse me - “low-key”?

It’s to her advantage to speak that way to her friends. It allows her to fit in to the environment she now finds herself in. No doubt she will change the way she talks when it’s time to make herself hireable especially for all those higher positions.

She’s not exactly going to be saying ‘innit’ in a corporate meeting. Though having said that, I did work with Gen Z and the slang they used at work was unhinged.

The girls she is talking to can also likely “speak well”. That is not something that comes exclusively from attending private school. They are just kids trying to be cool in front of each other - they will likely adapt to their environment and will naturally grow out of the slang you consider so dreadful.

O dear, please unclench. It’s normal to adapt your vocabulary and even accent depending on the situation/ who you’re talking to.
It’s not the end of the world, I’m sure they wouldn’t speak that way in an interview etc

Clever girl. She’s adapting according to situation.

It's fine @DeBore. DS stayed at his independent school all the way through. He and his mates were v long on "innit blad" at that age. He's a posh boy at heart.

This is hilarious! She’s 16!! I thought I’d read she was 8 when I came on! 😆
Also, like, all the private school kids swear too, yah? Like, REAL.

If this is real then YABU. Not unreasonable for not wanting your daughter to speak like a road man but unreasonable to not realise that this is what almost all teens do. No it’s not exclusive to grammar or state school but perhaps you should send her back to private school so she can mix with more pupils with cut glass accents if it’s this big a concern for you.

Both of my teen DC (state school) speak like this to friends but they speak perfectly normally / are well spoken when required (at their jobs / with extended family/ talking to my friends for example) . It’s called fitting in - like the clothes they wear, the music they listen to etc.

Have you lost sight of what it’s like to be a teen?

Can I ask what you intend to do to reverse this? Elocution lessons?

If she remains able to codeswitch successfully (use language appropriate for the context) (friends-vs-job interview, for example), she actually has a very positive skill.

Not sure if this is real; the OP uses “rather” too many times and it gives the impression of someone trying to be more than they are.

So basically, you’re upset she’s picking up bad habits from the poor kids she’s mixing with now?

Why did you transfer her to the grammar? Was it so she will have the so called ‘state school advantage’ when she applies to uni?

Do you honestly think the sort of teens who go on to have successful professional careers never use slang? What an odd belief.

Thank heavens

Feckin plebs and their slang

She'll be saying shay soon

Read up about code switching. It's a very useful skill in life to be able to seamlessly "fit in" with whoever is around you and will be a valuable asset in many jobs that are client facing.

Normal teenager behaviour, but she could also have got teased for being “posh” . If you’ve taught her well she’ll be able to know her audience and adapt her language accordingly something we all do either consciously or subconsciously.
Tbh you come across as judgmental and snobby. As the saying goes never judge a book by its cover.

It’s normal, the history of slang is actually fascinating. Stop being so mardy.

Have you never modified your language to fit the social situation OP?

You daughter is using the language of her peers when communicating with them, not you. Most people do this. My vocabulary is different depending on whether I'm talking to work colleagues, friends, family, people I don't know etc.

I'm naturally a bit sweary with my friends, or my Dad, but I never swore in front of my Mum, or young kids, and it's not an effort, it's just a different mode of speaking.

It's the same with work, I work with a bunch of scientists (I'm the only one in the company without a PhD), and as a result my language is more precise with them, even when talking about something completely un-work-related. Again, not a conscious decision, just a natural communication style.

Just because your daughter is "innit"-ing all over the place with her friends, doesn't mean she's going to lose the ability to communicate correctly in other social situations.

Teenagers talk like that. Don’t make her an outsider - she’s trying to fit in.

She’s just code switching, OP. Unclench.

That or find a sixth form that screens for plebeian speech habits at entry. 🙄

Came to say exactly this!!!

As long as she can do both, she's fine. Stop being a snob.