AIBU to charge another mum for school run help?

[Muddlingthroughwith2]

Am I being unreasonable to only offer to help another mum out with school logistics if they can pay me something? And if not unreasonable what would you charge a friend?

situation: they will struggle with getting child to school due to work, looking for options including a nanny, but of course they may not be able to drive; school breakfast club may not even be early enough start time for their day, yes - going to same school as ours, I have a car seat space. It would be 1 mile and 10 minutes extra on my journey minimum. It would save them 30-40 mins round journey, and if they can’t get or don’t use breakfast club it would save them £8.50 a day. They could perhaps drop off at ours to save diversion for me but would still be 50% more kids to navigate for me.

do I charge and if so what? Or charge in “wine” so it’s not a business relationship 😆

FYI they haven’t asked and I haven’t offered but I know it’s going to be difficult but before I offer to help do I make sure I don’t start on a back foot of enabling 7 years of free childcare!

I helped a school mum out a few years ago due to her starting work at 7am and no clubs avaliable that early.

She paid me in bread, milk, and cereal. She also dropped off her DD with me. I had her DD for 2 hours atleast 3 days a week. I had no issue with it as it didn't affect our route - she came dressed just no fed.

Have an upfront convo with them about how it would work and what you think is fair.

Edit to say I very rarely did school pick up maybe once every few months if she picked up some OT

I would not offer.

They have made choices about where they live, where they send their DC to school and where they work. They will be thinking about the logistics, and may (or may not) have you on their radar as a solution. Let them work it out and let them come to you, if they think it appropriate.

Personally, I would not want to get into an arrangement like this, where my availability to do the school run was key to someone else's worklife.

I don’t think you’re unreasonable at all. But consider implications for your car insurance if you’re taking passengers for ‘hire or reward’. Is there anything she could offer for you instead? Some evening babysitting?

Keep out of it. Certainly don't offer a paid service!

I would either offer freely or not at all. Either option is okay

I wouldn’t ask for payment no. Appreciate you’re helping her out massively and saving her money so I think the decent thing would be for her to offer you something either cash, wine or babysitting. But no I don’t think I’d offer to do something with a caveat of payment.

I wouldn’t offer to do this daily - what if you or your own child is unwell or has an appointment? What if they’re late regularly? Ad hoc or unexpected issues of course I’d help a friend, but I wouldn’t want this responsibility 5 days a week for years and years.

At bare minimum I’d say the child has to be at your house by x time so you aren’t driving in circles and waiting around. Then you can at least just leave when you’re ready.

I would not offer.

They have made choices about where they live, where they send their DC to school and where they work. They will be thinking about the logistics, and may (or may not) have you on their radar as a solution. Let them work it out and let them come to you, if they think it appropriate.

Personally, I would not want to get into an arrangement like this, where my availability to do the school run was key to someone else's worklife.

I wouldn’t offer. They have chosen to live there, chosen that school etc. I would assume it’s in hand and just help out on the odd day if asked if eg the nanny is poorly or something.

Bear in mind if you charge for this you will need to get commercial insurance for your car and that is not cheap.

I think asking for money might actually make her feel better about accepting the help. Maybe £5 a day?

A paid service means expectations - what happens when your dc is ill and not going to school. At the very least they’d drop to you but I wouldn’t offer regularly. I happily did adhoc urgent ones for friends but childcare around work needs to be robust and legal - regular paid childcare needs licensing like a childminder.
The law:
Regular, paid childcare from a friend is generally only legal in England without Ofsted registration if it takes place in the child’s own home (as a nanny) or is strictly unpaid. If a friend provides paid care for a child under eight in their own home for over two hours a day, they must register as a childminder,

I agree with staying out of it unless they ask for help. If you charge then you're into legalities around insurance etc and what happens if your child is off sick, are you still going to take theirs in?

This isn’t true. I worked in a school and occasionally drove dc to appointments. I told my insurance and they noted it and charged me £10 extra for the year.

I can't imagine charging a friend to do this!

I think payment jettisons you out of the world of favour and into obligation. What happens if your kid is sick and hers isn't, are you obliged to do the run? What happens if she runs late, are you obliged to wait and take your kid in late too? What if they fall out?

Personally, I think it's all messy. Ad hoc, save the day helping, fine. But if you make yourself this available then you're going to resent it.

Are you saying that you could go pick them up from their house and bring them back to yours in the morning? That’s how it reads but that is bonkers

if they can’t make breakfast club which usually opens at 7.30 or 8 you are going to be with their child really early.

i would say £5 a day if you’re talking about them dropping to you at 7am odd, but I wouldn’t pick them up from their house

I offered to help a close friend out and would not dream of charging. As her child has allergies, I only said to provide food so I didn't mess the allergies up. In the end, she went with breakfast club which is fine (less stress for me).

If it's not a friend and just slightly friendly then I guess I'd expect something out of it but not sure how I'd approach it.

I know someone who did this (but not for money). The kid kept turning up at the house earlier and earlier, in the end they were sitting in the house 40 mins before going to school.
One day their own child was ill and they turned up even earlier So had to say they wernt going that day, the kid said OK just take me then. Mother and kid became just as cheeky as each other.
I know people bang on about villages but there is always plenty people that take the piss these days.

If you do offer, then offer till only half term. That way, if it works well you can extend for another term but if there are issues you know its only for another few weeks.

I'd do everything to make your own life easier, so ask that child is dropped to yours by x time - saves any hassle if there are roadworks to their house. And it means your dc will be able to stay home a bit longer in the mornings.

Yes my BF is a nanny and her insurance isn’t expensive at all, it’s no big deal

It is true. I spent 25+ years working in childcare. A friend had the wrong insurance and got 6 points and a fine as her insurance was invalid.

If you drive other people's children to school for hire or reward (where you receive payment or profit for the journey) it is legally classified as operating a passenger transport service. In the UK, you must hold specific Hire and Reward (H&R) insurance or your insurance would not be valid.

If you’re getting paid, you’re providing a service, if you’re providing a service, you are required to accommodate them, not the other way around. If there’s anything I’ve learned on here over the years, is that this type of scenario inevitably ends up being a giant pain in the arse

The insurance a nanny needs for driving is different. That is business insurance, not hire and reward insurance. Two very different things.