Starting all over again when eldest children are leaving primary. All the school plays again, school runs again etc when freedom is so near!!

[Knightshine]

So my children are leaving primary and a couple of their friends mum's will be doing all the school runs again with a new child just as their eldest will be in secondary and one leaving primary. I have been thinking if I would even want to do it all over again as my own independence/freedom is coming back as my children are getting older iyswim? But then I think or would I want to do it all again...

I don't think I would as my children are doing great and growing wonderfully plus can still have all my time when needed, I won't have to stretch myself. I have noticed that the ones who are doing it all again only have boys and were trying for girl so I think that may have been the reason, I know it was for one because they told me.

Is it the norm to think this way? What are your thoughts....

I have a large age gap between my eldest and youngest (with a couple in between!) by the time I stop doing school runs I'll have been doing them for over 20 years. I can totally see why you would relish the freedom when it comes!

God no

I am one and done. In my heart, I know i want another baby.

But I do not want another child 😄😄 - the school runs and everything else, no thanks! Dd is 7

If i had my time again, id have her by sperm donor so I could've had two very close in age. But now that shes 7, that ship has sailed x

It’s worth thinking about the other end of the school years.

We have friends who have large ages gaps between their children who now have one at uni and one just starting high school.

It’s hard for them as most of their friends are enjoying being empty nesters and the additional time and spontaneity that brings to their lives.

I knew a family once who had 3 children, each 7 years apart. So one leaving sixth form as the next left primary with one due to start primary. It was all planned that way AFAIK.

I had baby DC2 the day after DC1 left primary school 😂

I agree. I have a friend who has a 13 year old and a 3 year old. All of her friends have either teenage or grown up kids but she is now so limited in what she can and cannot join in with due to the 3 year old. They also can never really do anything as a family as very few things appeal to 13 and 3 year olds. Her biological clock basically tricked her into having another just as she had turned 43 and although she doesn't regret the child, she has said that she wishes they had stayed with just having their oldest as she is now peri menopausal, the youngest is bringing home every illness they can from nursery, is a terrible sleeper and she is just exhausted.

I had my second when my eldest was 14 (I was 36). It's been absolutely lovely and I feel really lucky to be able to do it all again.

My Great Grandmother had 5 children with 5 years between each pregnancy. I can't imagine having children over 25 years. All of mine were born in a 5 year period.

I had one child in year 6, one in year4, and had a baby, then had another 17 months later. I loved it. When the youngest started uni I was 57 he is finishing soon, my oldest has an 8 year old and just had a baby and I am loving it all over again. I don't care if others are getting their lives back, my family are my life,my choice and I couldn't be happier.

Yes I absolutely would not do this. I enjoyed all the stages of having a young child but I’ve done it now - no need at all to do it again. I don’t want to have another round of toddler illness, school run, settling in etc. Also too old now - and I’m relishing the prospect of getting some free time back.

My friend has a son of 24 and a daughter of 9 and little son of 5 and honestly she seems so burned out and over it all. It’s a shame.

There was a mum on here recently youngest just leaving school after 40 years of being a school mum!
I would have another three in a heartbeat and be her if I had a safe loving partner

Sound lovely to me!

My eldest starts Secondary in September and my youngest starts Primary. I am looking forward to little one starting and the adventures Secondary will bring for eldest. I am, however, very aware that when little one leaves Primary, I will be almost 50! As I had her when I was 37. Not sure how I feel about that!

Had one starting secondary at the same time as one starting primary. No issues at all. I felt I enjoyed the youngest’s time at primary more.

There is 10 years between my oldest and youngest, with one in between. If I had my time
over again, I wouldn’t change it.

I had them fairly young though, so maybe I would feel different if I had them when I was older.

Think this is so family based and no wrong or right . I swore my whole life I only ever wanted 1 child , I waited until he was 14 for another then had that one and thought maybe one more so 6 years after had another and now 4 years after I’m on my 4 th . I used to love my job my tidy house and traveling with lots of money , but now I love living more rural having dogs cats and chickens and the complete organised chaos that is our home . I had my first in my 20s , my last in my 40s , priorities change , you often realise what mattered 10 years ago is not what matters now .
Im sure my life looks awful to some , I work , I have a massive house that takes ages to clean and our holidays are always family based but for me it’s amazing

Think this is so family based and no wrong or right . I swore my whole life I only ever wanted 1 child , I waited until he was 14 for another then had that one and thought maybe one more so 6 years after had another and now 4 years after I’m on my 4 th . I used to love my job my tidy house and traveling with lots of money , but now I love living more rural having dogs cats and chickens and the complete organised chaos that is our home . I had my first in my 20s , my last in my 40s , priorities change , you often realise what mattered 10 years ago is not what matters now .
Im sure my life looks awful to some , I work , I have a massive house that takes ages to clean and our holidays are always family based but for me it’s amazing

I was 38 when the youngest was born - so 50 when he started secondary. I didn’t even think about it (lots of parents were similar age). Then again, I’m still 25 in my head.

Mine are year 7 and year 9, walk themselves to and from school, I can go out of an evening for a few hours, they can walk the dog, make meals, put a wash on - nothing would persuade me to have another baby now! I love holidays with them, clothes shopping, meals out, they are lovely company, a baby would spoil that completely!

My oldest is 17 years and my youngest is 22 months so this will be me, there is 7 years between my third and fourth 😅

Im so pleased the school days are long gone.
Nothing could make me go back to the baby stage or school days.

Im 40 this year and both mine have moved out.

Two decades of looking after children full time is enough for me.

My plan was always:

Enjoy my 20s to myself, 30s and 40s dedicated to my children (I’m almost done!), 50s will be enjoying my adult children and free time again (whoop!) And then 60s+ to help with grandchildren if any.

Omg nooooo I can’t think of anything WORSE than doing this!

My brother in laws mum had 6 babies, all with a 4 year age gap so when the youngest went off to school, there was a new baby to look after (she had the oldest when she was 18). Honestly what compels people to do things like that I have no idea.

I love my two but the hyper-vigilance, relentless high level care, daily repetitive routines and the lack of sleep for years has exhausted me and destroyed my nervous system

My youngest is just about to leave senior school. I am technically still young enough I could have another baby now and still be ‘average’ age, lots of my peers are only just having babies now as I had mine very young.

I absolutely cannot think of anything worse than starting again! I have some friends who have children similar age to mine who had a 2nd with a new partner and they are early primary school. I don’t know how they do it.

in hindsight I am glad now I had them young. I am just getting my own life back and I love it! I wouldn’t trade it now.