'Perfect' house or lifestyle?

[MumofCandR]

I have a conundrum. I have a lovely house which we have extended into the attic and sides and rear. We did the work, it's lovely and has everything I want - double ovens, underfloor heating, well insulated, lovely windows, you get the idea. It's a 4 bed and 2 bathrooms one with a shower and 1 with a bath. Large garden that is hard to maintain, lovely views though. We both work long hours and pressurised jobs and I am heading towards 50... Decent pensions. Over 20 years left on the mortgage at the minute . However we still have some loans we would like to clear and a large mortgage, part of which will renew in January 2027 and will likely increase by £100 mth. We could sell and purchase a nice house we like in a similar area but even nicer location close to lots of lovely outside space. It's a 3 bed though and one bathroom with a bath and one toilet. The space downstairs is similar except it has one less living area - which we currently use in our house for the kids games space. And less storage and smaller garden. But - if we move we would clear some loans and the part of the mortgage that's going up in January and be better off by around 600 mth. We earn good salaries but this money would free up options to travel more with our kids, eat out more which we like, save more.... We would also have 50k leftover which would invest in long term bonds. Our kids are tween and young teen. We love the idea of downsizing the mortgage and loans and having more financial freedom but are scared we would regret the downsize.... Has anyone done this, did you regret your move or has it made life better? Any insight appreciated.

For me this would depend on the areas.

when my kids were teens we lived somewhere with zero public transport and had to drive them everywhere. I wouldn’t make that choice again.

if the new house gives your kids the opportunity to be more independent - walk or cycle or bus to friends - then I’d absolutely take it.

if it’s in the middle of nowhere I’d think hard.

Thanks for the insight. Our current house is a 20m walk to school and 15m walk to a bus into the city centre (20m by bus). My son's friends are a 15m walk away and my daughter's are 40m walk away, close to the house we're looking at. The alternative house is 40m walk to school ( my daughter's friends are close and walk) and the bus is 2 minutes walk to it and a similar ride into the city. So they're very similar!

We are not quite in the same position as you, as we have recently made the decision to not upsize to the big 4 bed detached for similar reasons to those you have for downsizing. Staying in our current 3 bed in a great area means we dont have the fancy show home, but ours is perfectly adequate for our needs and means that we can lead a comfortable lifestyle without many financial pressures. We are able to take our son away on holidays and save a lot for him so that hopefully he will have a deposit for his own house when the time comes. The security of not having to worry about mortgage/bills increases outweighs the need for a dream home for us.

If you are just as happy with the area where the smaller house is located, I would definitely do that. Paying off your mortgage and freeing up that money for 'fun money' will allow you to make lovely memories before your kids fly the nest. When they are older, I can guarantee they won't be reminiscing about the extra loo! Also with forever rising costs, paying off your mortgage will buy you peace of mind which is priceless. Good luck with whatever you decide.

I haven't done it, but in your situation I think I'd move. You'll have much greater financial security, which will mean much better quality of life, and that would win for me. Always make your life better, if you can.

We could move to a bigger, fancier house be we have no mortgage which to me is far, far more valuable. It gives us such freedom not to have to worry about paying for our house - it's ours no matter what.

That said, I would think carefully about buying a house that doesn't have a downstairs toilet. I have a few relatives who have really struggled due to illness and reducing mobility and not having a downstairs toilet. It seems a small thing but it becomes a much bigger problem as you get older.

I always choose lifestyle. No desire to be a wage slave.

I'm going to go against the grain slightly. To go from two bathrooms to one with younger teenagers is probably okay but the economic reality is that one or both children could be living with you into their twenties and at that point the extra space and privacy will be very welcome for all of you.

That said, it's going to come down to how affordable the mortgage is in your current place because if you're stretched too thin, it may be that you can't afford to keep the bigger house.

I disagree with this. We have 2 bathrooms, one with a bath and one with a shower and only the one with the shower ever gets used. Kids (15 and 12) shower in the evening and we shower in the morning. It is never an issue. As long as there is a 2nd loo (and the OP says there is). It's only for 4 people. How long does a person stay in the shower? It's hard enough to get a teenager to even have one! And where do you draw the line? It would be handy to have a 2nd kitchen for when the kids want to cook for themselves, or a 2nd dining room for when one teenager has fallen out with the other one! I would say go for the smallest house that will comfortably meet your needs, and if that means one person may have to wait an extra 5 minutes to have their shower, that is a small price to pay to free up so much money and clear all the debts.

I’d rather have a nice lifestyle, if the house was big enough and in the right location.

This is precisely why we live in a 3 bed cottage with no mortgage. I do occasionally look at bigger houses and think "oooooh pretty" and moan about our lack of storage but then I think about the fact that we're completely debt free, I'm free to work or not work (freelance) as suits us and we go on lovely holidays and days out with the kids without worrying about the cost.

I vote lifestyle, especially if you're not losing out on location for the kids as they get older.

I read it as one bathroom containing the only toilet. If there's a downstairs loo that helps massively.

Tbh what I think is unrealistic about the OP's plan is how much cash is being liberated. If there's really enough cash left over for a big lifestyle jump, clear debts AND give the kids a chunk of money then the downsize is too drastic and they could look at a slightly better house that's less of a cut in space.

Agree. Ours really value their own bathrooms

Thank you all for contributing - so many good points to think through, that has been really helpful. Lots of food for thought. There is a downstairs toilet but just one bathroom upstairs, I think that will be ok my two never want to shower anyway lol.

The OP has worked out they will save £600 a month. How is that being unrealistic if they have looked at the figures? I also wouldn't say that going from a 4 bedroomed house to 3 beds is 'drastic'. Drastic would be moving into a 2 bed flat or a caravan!

There is no way I would downsize to share a bathroom with my teen or get rid of any social space for teens to hang out. But I don’t allow gaming or TV in bedrooms.

Because 600 pounds a month doesn't buy all the things the OP has listed that it will do. That's what's unrealistic.

She says she wants to travel more, eat out more and save more. No specifics. Why doesn't £600 afford them that? She hasn't said she wants 2 weeks in the Maldives and a slap-up meal every week.

We have a large 5 bed. We only have one full time kid dd(10) and pt dss(9) so have plenty of rooms. They have their entire floor complete with lounge/diner etc. they adore this house but we know we don’t need such a big one now. We won’t consider downsizing (and mortgage free) until the kids are older to let them enjoy the space during childhood.

Well good for you if you can afford it, and you can afford all the other things on your wishlist. That's a nice position to be in. But the OP can't afford both the large house and the travel / savings / eating out, which is why it's a dilemma for her.

AND clear debts AND add to savings AND give 50k to the kids later on as a lump sum. Either the money is double counted or they are reducing the mortgage plus taking a chunk out of the capital. If it's the latter, personally I wouldn't liquidate that much capital into spending money when the kids are that young.

It's often hard to imagine how things are going to change as you reach the next phase in life. Many of my friends' older teen kids don't even want to go on holiday with their parents any more (mine do I'm glad to say). Nobody's children have moved out under 25 so far. Two of them have brought grandchildren into the world but still need to live at home. With that in mind, I was suggesting the OP needs to assess whether she's cutting her kids' space and privacy too much with this move.

(Note: I didn't say she shouldn't do it, just that these factors need to be borne in mind. A lot will depend on whether this move leaves wiggle room for future house improvements if needed, how long both parents can keep earning, what the kids are likely to do post 16 and post 18)

I would seriously consider downsizing, having over 20 years left on a mortgage at almost 50 would fill me with dread. The bathroom situation would be my only concern with teens.

I would free up money for travel and family experiences rather than having a bigger house. You never know what’s round the corner and special family time is so important.

my dad got diagnosed with the worst type of ms in his 30s which means I’ve always prioritised experiences over things or savings. I’m so glad we as a family have had amazing times away together, particularly as my super strong and fit husband has become disabled over the last year.

have fun with your family, way more important than postcode or square footage

It’s hard to say without knowing whether you are on track with your pension savings and whether you are due to inherit. I’d get some proper financial advice.

Also, how likely are you to both keep your jobs, how long until and could you manage on one salary if one of you was made redundant, including saving enough into pensions?

I think having a proper picture of your finances, also for the scenario that one of you loses your job is important here and make the decision based on that rather than whether or not downsizing worked well for others…

I don't understand the issue of only one bathroom. We're a family of 4 with only one toilet which is in our only bathroom lol it's never been an issue ever and my oldest is 14. I think the majority of the population only have one bathroom with one toilet, it's really not the end of the world