'Still figuring it out' at 25+ Tinder

[chickenandapples]

How can so many men be 'still figuring it out' but when you talk to them they haven't FIGURED OUT how to move out of their Mum's house.

Maybe figure that out first? How are you even having causal hookups under your parent's thumbs? Embarrassing how many men think they can user dating apps as a free hookup app. No thanks.

Oh this wound me up so much. No thank you. But then you’d find blokes that say they’re “looking for the one” and the minute they find out you have tattoos and piercings they ask if you’re “a bit kinky, yeah? 👀” fucking yawn.

Or ask screening questions to gauge if you'll have sex with them.

I had one guy ask about the configuration of my bedroom, asking if I had a single bed or share my room etc. I told him I wasn't gonna sleep with him and he called me stuck up and said he didn't wanna sleep with me!

The world is full of many different kinds of people. You're under no obligation to swipe right on any of them.

there's always one pick me in every thread

I think the amount of people living with their parents until late twenties, into thirties is something youd going to have to get used to. The cost of living is about to increase again. You’re going to have to accept family homes are an economic reality going nowhere fast.

Yes, the amount of men in their 40’s with this on their profile!

My fav is ‘something casual’ and ‘want kids’ together in the profile

not the issue I take and u know it.

I'm fairly sure telling someone to swipe left is the opposite of being a pick-me, but you do you.

No need for that misogynist bullshit.

Just because you don't want hookups, that doesn't mean that every woman on a dating app is looking for a serious relationship, and that doesn't make them a 'pick me' which is a lazy shorthand for 'woman who doesn't agree with you on everything because, spoiler alert, not all women want all the same things from life as you do'.

There is literally nothing wrong with people wanting hookups, provided they're honest about that being what they want. It's Tinder, not a marriage bureau. It's not supposed to be solely for serious relationships.

People on there are allowed to look for whatever they want, and not everyone on there has to live their life the way you would prefer them to. Nobody owes you a relationship just because you happen to be looking for one.

I like the “maybe someday” answer to “do you want kids?” on the profiles of age 40+ men.

When is that day going to be then??

I know they strictly can, but it’s surely not a good idea to be still making up your mind in your 40s/50s?

Yeah, this kind of thing is a turn off. The extended adolescence. I guess Tinder isn’t really a serious dating platform though, you’ll be wading though these types.

Tinder is largely a hookup app. You may want to pick a different app. The insult about living with parents with unnecessary. Plenty of people do enjoy living with family more than share houses. If it’s not for you then keeping swiping.

To be fair OP most people I know who use dating apps are just on there looking for a fun date or a shag, male and female alike. It’s fun and easy, not many people are looking for marriage and kids on an app

so where do people go to meet people looking for that? Asking for a friend :)

True as some of the most boring people I’ve ever met have tattoos. Having a tattoo doesn’t really mean anything especially nowadays as they’re so common.

Most people I know have ended up meeting their long term partners randomly in person, through work or through friends/friends of friends. I have friends still single and loving the apps though, so does DH, none are looking for anything serious but they are an easy way to meet people for fun

Tinder is definitely a hook up site in my experience but I know four couples who have got married over the past 8/10 years who met on eHarmony or Match. So there are apps, and there are apps.

so much victim blaming and people excusing desperate pathetic males trying to use tinder for free escorting, what's wrong with some of u people.

Free escorting? They're looking for hookups on an app renowned for hookups. I don't like it either but avoid the app or at least swipe left on these men. It sound like they're not hiding what they want in which case you avoid them. If they are hiding what they want and pretending that they want a relationship then that's awful. There are women who want hookups as well.

Would you say that you get genuine, quality, serious people on there? I've only used Bumble and it's a bit hit and miss.

Avoid Eharmony, you have to pay and the pickings are extremely slim !! Hinge is a better one.

Girl, there's men THIRTY five+ with the same sh1t 😂But in all seriousness, even if a guy has "looking for a long term relationship with marriage and babies and I'm a massive feminist, promise" doesn't mean anything. Plenty of married men are horrible to their wives and treat them as bang maids (look that one up).

I’m with you x

I tried that one briefly. I would say I'm less attractive than average (such luck) so I didn't get much interest. I was thinking perhaps the paid ones are were you get the serious people. Tinder sounds like a primarily hookup nowadays but neither Bumble or Hinge has worked out for me.