Would you allow an 11yo to pick up 8yo from school?

[cadburyegg]

My 11yo starts secondary in September and is excited about the prospect of being able to pick up his 8yo brother (who will be in y4) from school once a week when he would normally go to after school club.

I had agreed to this in theory but I am suddenly unsure. My 11yo is responsible but 8yo is quite young for his age and can be silly.

Primary school is about 20 min walk from our house / 10 minute cycle ride. We live in a quiet village but drivers can drive too fast on the road to our estate.

thoughts? When did you allow siblings to pick up from school?

Yes sure I would. I did this for my little brother and I loved feeling responsible. It was bonding for the two of us

Our primary(small village school) won't let an under 18 collect a sibling.

My youngest school doesn’t allow anybody under the age of 18 to collect them even if the parent is sat in the car but otherwise I would say it’s fine.

Would the Primary School allow this? I only ask because the school I taught at would only permit pupils to be collected by siblings aged over 16. Worth checking.

It would very much depend on the kids and the journey. I think in some situations my 8 yr old might be safer on their own. In the situation you describe, a decently long walk with potential to have cars going quite fast no I don’t think I would do this unless I really had to. But my 8 yr old has not great road sense (just prone to arsing about) and I wouldn’t say that my 11 yr old would necessarily “spot” danger in the same way an adult would (like hearing a car coming, saying “oh there’s a car coming keep to the side” etc).

No. It is good to give a child responsibility as they grow up, so going to and from school is great. But at 11 I think it is too early for that responsibility to be for a younger child, especially one you describe as being young for their age and silly.

It depends on the children.

My 11yo is responsible but 8yo is quite young for his age and can be silly.

Your description of your son would make this an easy no.

It's far too much to expect an 11 year old to be responsible for someone who is well known for being silly and immature. I would let the 11 year old have some time alone, to do homework or relax, without having to keep an eye on her younger brother. Then reassess the situation next year

Yes it’s fine.
But I would have a back up plan in case the older boy wants to do any clubs/be with friends after school etc.

This isn’t allowed in my kids school

that's mad!

A lot of kids in area pick up siblings and walk home with them. Some even walk home alone from 10. It does tend to be the more Mature children though. The odd few really shouldn’t be walking home alone at 10 or even walking a sibling home.

Absolutely not with the way you describe your 8yo and the length of the journey.

Also, this almost certainly won’t be allowed by the school.

I’m intrigued by this! Are they really allowed to refuse to let, say, an eight or ten-year-old leave with their fifteen-year-old sibling? It seems absolutely ridiculous to me. I don’t understand what business it is of theirs if the parents think it’s safe. (Obviously it would be different if the younger child was very young or had behaviour/medical problems and they had reason to think it would be unsafe.)

Our school wont allow this, has to be an adult. Personally i also think it's bonkers (i have a responsible 12 year old) - what if the sibling plays up? You expecting the 11 year old to manage that? Its a bit mad OP...

Our dont allow it - and they are THAT strict that even if the parent was waiting on the car on the driveway (which is how i found out), they wont let the older sibling pick up, and the older sibling is one that actually went to the same school so they know them!!

I have a sensible 11yo and 8yo twins.

One twin would be fine, the other not so much.

I actually let all three of them go for unsupervised walks on their own but NOT together. Because they can egg each other on to do stuff they wouldn't on their own.

Absolutely not, and I’d be flabbergasted if any school allowed it. An 11 yo is nowhere near old enough to be responsible for an 8 yo.

It’s not really an option for us because you have to be 16 to pick up from the primary school. But with my children in my circumstances- no I’d probably wait until at least 13/14. But your kids and your circumstances are your own and I’m a big believer that parents usually know best.

Crazy! I wonder if any parents anywhere have ever mounted a legal challenge to rules like this. I think it qualifies as "safeguarding gone mad".

Absolutely not. Too much responsibility for a child who is much too young. Our school would never allow that.

I wouldn't. It's too far for an 11 year old to be responsible for a "young" or "silly" 8 year old.
A lot of the neighbourhood kids near me walk with siblings or in groups of friends but there is a path (no need to cross roads) and its no more than a 5/6 minute walk.

Given that the 8 year old wouldn't be going to afterschool club, does that mean the 11 year old has to mind them at home too for a period of time after the walk?

Not the point but I think it's a huge overreach for schools to "not allow" an under 18 to collect if the parent has agreed it. That's not their business imo.

No

Our primary school always said 16, but they’ve definitely allowed older siblings aged 13-15 to pick up before.

I think 13 would be the very youngest but even that doesn’t sound ideal to me. I wouldn’t send my 12 yo to pick up another younger child if I had one - he just doesn’t have the maturity but also wouldn’t be seen as an adult in charge by the younger child.

Of course it’s their business! They’ve got a duty to safeguard the child in their care, and that includes not releasing them to another young child.

I think 18 is a bit extreme as the cut off, but if they said 16 I’d think that was perfectly reasonable.