Crush on child's teacher - AIBU to even think about it?

[TernPixel05]

I think I’ve developed a bit of a crush on my child’s primary school teacher. We get on really well, but I’m assuming this is just them being friendly/professional.

I wouldn’t act on anything while my child is in their class, but AIBU to wonder if something could be possible once they’ve moved to a different class? Or is it only appropriate once they’ve left the school entirely?

Has anyone ever been in a similar position?

Dont do it

Hello! Definitely wait until there is no school connection between you AKA your child needs to leave school first! Bear in mind teachers can change year groups and so just because your child may not have them come September doesn’t mean they never will again. It can be quite common to crush on teachers - they show their empathy and understanding to the person you love more than anything in the world, they’re generally always friendly and polite and they help parents at a time which can feel quite vulnerable - it’s easy for feelings to manifest! That doesn’t mean there’s always something there!

I’m a woman and I had a single father take a lot of interest me a few years ago - started with lingering longer at drop off and pick up etc, bought me presents ‘through their child’ at random times - it was horrible and made me really uneasy. I breathed a sigh of relief once I finished teaching their child thinking I’d got to the end of it, only for them to phone me in the school holidays asking me out (they got my number off a parents WhatsApp group as my child was in the nursery attached to the school - bonkers!). The phone call itself was so awkward as I said no (I was married and very uninterested!!) and I then reported it and had to have a debrief with HR and the parent was contacted. Even though I had done nothing wrong I felt tainted by the whole experience like I’d somehow ‘led them on’ even though I was just being my (very) friendly normal self - I’m a primary one teacher! I’m nice to all parents!! I still flush hot and cold and feel a bit sick when I think back to that period - don’t do it until your child has left school!! If at all!!

Grow up

We had a parent ask out a member of staff after his child left her class...it was awkward for everyone involved

Please don’t be an embarrassment to your child. Why would you risk complicating their life like that? Surely there’s a million other men out there to go after?

Ahaha I had a crush on my daughters math teacher, I didnt do anything but did keep mentioning him to DD to embarrass her. Weirdly all the seniors fancied another teacher and I didnt see the appeal....good looking but very married, maybe thats why?

On a reality level, is there chemistry? Is he single? I mean I would def not do anything until the child has gone up a year regardless.

Don’t do it. Primary school teachers are a wholesome, pure, wonderful part of a child’s life. Don’t make that messy!

A bit harsh. You can't help who you fancy.

We get on really well, but I’m assuming this is just them being friendly/professional.

And yet you've made it clear you don't really assume this at all?

Don't shit where your child goes to school.

Completely different scenario but a teacher friend of mine met a guy one evening and he asked her out - she wasn't interested. Then he turned up as a married dad at parents' night the following week 😳

Why are you using they to hide their sex?

Anyway, ‘they’ are at work doing their job. Leave them alone.

Under no circumstances.

On the scale of bad ideas, this is probably a solid 7 with 10 being a complete no no.

Absolutely not. If they are professional at all, they won't entertain the idea. Do you know if they are even single or have any reason to assume they fancy you too? Some crushes are best left as a crush. It's not appropriate to ask out every person you may be attracted to.

I absolutely would. Connection is rare. Teachers are people too. He might like you. Maybe ask if they'd like to go for a coffee. Life is short. Joy is worth it. They can always say no.

OP doesn't know anything about this teacher beyond what she sees in a professional context. He/ she might be married or dating, a different sexuality to what is assumed. Imagine being rejected and having to see that teacher for the rest of their child's school career. Even if the teacher wanted to there's probably policies about this sort of thing and they won't want to risk their job. No one is that desperate that they pin hopes on one person.

Not a single thought for the OP's DC there.

I have a crush on one of DSs teachers.

He is SO good with DS and means so much to him, wouldn't dream of interfering with that even if it was reciprocated.

Office romances are one thing, school is NOT the place to fuck about IMO.

Don’t shit on your own doorstep - it’s good advice

We had a young male teacher at the school where I teach. It was clear that some of the mums fancied him. The poor bloke found it very embarrassing.

It's ok to have a crush on your child's teacher. Nobody can help their feelings. But please don't act on it.

I would love to know if you feel anything on his part. If you do, then ask him out, but only when your child moves to a different class.

Good Lord, No!
As a former teacher, I can tell you that it isn't an unusual scenario but people can make themselves look very silly acting upon imagined reciprocity. School have policies about professional behaviour.
Just imagine if you did start a relationship with your child's teacher and it didn't work out, how would you, your child and the teacher feel then?

But you can have boundaries, morals, and respect.

No