The constant need to fcking praise men for just completing normal functions

[Slightyamusedandsilly]

The dishes.
Arranging something.
Putting a wash on.

Why oh fucking why has it got to be acknowledged? I don't need praise for doing the hoovering or washing the floors. I don't need a pat on the back because I made him a cup of tea.

So why does HE need some sort of 'Well done!' for doing basic stuff? I find it so infantile and the ick is intense at the need for praise.

No idea but I feel your pain.

Not all of them, but I've certainly met a fair few like it.

You could try training him to equally thank you for every little thing that you do, and then using that to emphasise how many times he's thanking you compared to the other way round ... So he ought to step up more? That worked for one ex, to get him to both stop it, and step up more. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Nope my DH and I thank each other for doing mundane tasks, because someone had to do them. My kids also thank us for making dinner or sorting laundry etc. A bit of appreciation goes a long way, but it’s not at all a one way street.

I’d be pointing out he never thanked me, and would also be pointing out that pulling his weight isn’t helping me or doing me a favour so unless he starts showing the same appreciation that he expects, I’ll be doing far less on all fronts.

When we first started living together dh would announce he had done xyz. I asked him if he wanted a sticker.... Doesn't do it anymore..

we also say thanks for cooking but it's different from one partner doing everything without any acknowledgement, and the other sitting there like an eager puppy, declaring that 'I did the dishes for you!'

If it's the latter, start doing the same and loudly announcing everything you do around the house.

Get them a toddler sticker chart instead. (I do understand)

Hoe many women on here are married to useless men? 👀

It really pisses me off when my husband for eg will say “I’ve done the washing up for you.” WTF do you mean for me? I’m not the only user of the dishes am I?

I had an ex who would say I don't say Thank you buddy , too often for things done around the house....wanted me to sign a contract that if we divorce I am not going to take 50 % of the equity, even though we share a child. Was doing sex to me without any pre-eliminaries, just a man shoving it down a vagina, happening to be mine.

all I did was stopped the sex. Come and see, all respect came back within a week , he shut his mouth permanently but - An ex

I have to say that my own family has this. My mum talks about how my brother does all the cooking… my sister and I look at each other and roll our eyes. So what? His partner does all the cleaning and they both work. She also goes on about how my brother in law cleans the bathroom on Saturdays… another eye roll and how my husband is vey patient and I’m a lot of work… further eye rolling ensues. I have 2 boys and a girl and I will be damned if anyone lives my house without knowing how to cook, clean and iron… or expect a pat on the back for contributing to life 🙄. There is a lot of eye rolling in my family 🤣

Get a star chart

We thank each other whenever we have noticed that something has been done. DH will thank me for cleaning the bathroom, I will thank him for putting a load of laundry on. I think it’s nice to recognise the things each other do, even if they are the normal mundane things that need to be done everyday.

There is no need, stop doing it

I assume you've asked him why he needs praise?

What does he say?

My DH doesn't, my Dad didn't and my adult sons don't.

Quite possibly because they wouldn't ever have got any from me or my mum.

I'd say the opposite really. The issue is that women are not being thanked for doing the hoovering or the washing or all the other tasks that they complete. And they jolly well should be. As, so should men for doing the same tasks.
Work traditionally done by women should be appreciated.

It's a bit more subtle than saying 'I've done X for you.' It's more like him doing it and saying, 'I'm kind that way.' It's SO bloody cringe that the only way to deal with it would be for me to do it in kind every time I do something. But then he wouldn't even recognise WHY I was doing that. He's not self aware enough to recognise it.

He's literally said before, 'Because I'm a nice guy that way.'

And I've responded with what all women know, 'Any man that has to announce he's a nice guy, isn't nice.' and it's 60,000 feet over his head.

OMFG.

I have never known a man need praise why do you think your partner does?

And why do you oblige?

The men in my family don't need praise, they just get on with stuff.

Jeez how ridiculous to say to anyone ‘ thanks for cleaning the bathroom’ as if it’s some big deal. Of course of my DH cooked a nice dinner I’d say it was delicious and thank him, but thanking each other for every little thing? Nope. If you’re a team you don’t need constant validation.

Old but still funny

You could buy him one of these

<a class="break-all" href="https://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=live.staticflickr.com/2633/3800865302_ecbb183d0a.jpg&tbnid=4THmuVvoiJbV9M&vet=1&imgrefurl=www.flickr.com/photos/41263257@N03/3800865302&docid=BTwcDAGmYe94eM&w=500&h=500&source=sh/x/im/m1/2&kgs=f93b7bacd1947cd7&shem=epsd1,nisbtsc,rimspwouoe&utm_source=epsd1,nisbtsc,rimspwouoe,sh/x/im/m1/2" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://share.google/WAWCfIgypCqwXADSK

There’s a lady called Farideh who has a great song called ‘You are such a great Dad’ which I would recommend! She’s on YouTube. Very much along this theme. As per PP, any time ‘I did X for you’ gets mentioned and it’s a household chore, I get the rage.

I think he wants more appreciation. But seriously, appreciation for making a cuppa? Or other basic stuff? And as others have said, he doesn't GIVE thanks or appreciation for those things when they're done for him.

I don't oblige. I either ignore, roll my eyes or make a sarcastic comment ('Any man that has to announce he's a nice guy, isn't nice.' etc.) I just find it pathetic.

Farideh is brilliant and that song is her best one

I voted unreasonable by accident.

Yes and very much by older generations. "Isn't he great?".... for emptying the dishwasher "Isn't he great?" For changing a nappy.

Yet you stay with someone you find pathetic?