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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Friends going out and sending pics to the uninvited 😵‍💫

116 replies

BrownEyedLassie · 02/05/2026 19:45

Can’t quite understand what’s going on here. Genuinely perplexed.

We are a group of 6 neighbours. We only know each other because we’re neighbours, no other connection besides that.

We have all known each other a number of years. We have a group chat where we chat and share photos etc. We go out a handful of times a year and have girly nights in too. But keep in touch every few days via the chat, and in person as we all live close, so see each other in the street.

Tonight, 2 of the women have gone out together. I certainly wasn’t invited and I know that the other women in the group are all at home alone. The 2 who are out, are sending multiple messages, photos and videos of the night out to the Group chat.

No idea what to make of it. I’m a bit 😵‍💫 as I’m sure the other women and me would have loved a night out rather than sitting in alone on a Saturday night.

What do you think is going on here?

I know everyone is entitled to do whatever they want. But it’s a bit odd, no? To exclude others and then send all the pics. It’s not something I would do.

OP posts:
Error404FucksNotFound · 02/05/2026 19:47

I'd have invited the other women round to mine and told them bring a bottle

lionbreath2 · 02/05/2026 19:47

They are probably pissed. I suspect it was last minute. They clearly aren’t being shady about it or they wouldn’t be sending pics. It’s not late, could you not reply ‘looks fun, can I join you?’

TheSocialHermit · 02/05/2026 19:49

BrownEyedLassie · 02/05/2026 19:45

Can’t quite understand what’s going on here. Genuinely perplexed.

We are a group of 6 neighbours. We only know each other because we’re neighbours, no other connection besides that.

We have all known each other a number of years. We have a group chat where we chat and share photos etc. We go out a handful of times a year and have girly nights in too. But keep in touch every few days via the chat, and in person as we all live close, so see each other in the street.

Tonight, 2 of the women have gone out together. I certainly wasn’t invited and I know that the other women in the group are all at home alone. The 2 who are out, are sending multiple messages, photos and videos of the night out to the Group chat.

No idea what to make of it. I’m a bit 😵‍💫 as I’m sure the other women and me would have loved a night out rather than sitting in alone on a Saturday night.

What do you think is going on here?

I know everyone is entitled to do whatever they want. But it’s a bit odd, no? To exclude others and then send all the pics. It’s not something I would do.

It’s not odd they went out and didn’t invite everyone - it’s odd they are putting it in your chat. I’d respond with something nonchalant like ‘lovely pics have a great evening x’ As they’re obviously looking for a reaction

DaisyChain505 · 02/05/2026 19:49

I’d send a “ahh I didn’t know you were going out tonight I would have loved to have joined.”

unless there’s some back story where you other girls have form for constantly saying no to plans or cancelling, I’d be a bit miffed too.

BrownEyedLassie · 02/05/2026 19:50

Error404FucksNotFound · 02/05/2026 19:47

I'd have invited the other women round to mine and told them bring a bottle

Good point 😂

OP posts:
BrownEyedLassie · 02/05/2026 19:52

DaisyChain505 · 02/05/2026 19:49

I’d send a “ahh I didn’t know you were going out tonight I would have loved to have joined.”

unless there’s some back story where you other girls have form for constantly saying no to plans or cancelling, I’d be a bit miffed too.

Definitely no history of people being flaky or cancelling. I’m starting to wonder whether there’s another group chat I’m not in 🙈 Not the end of the world obviously.

OP posts:
ilovebrie8 · 02/05/2026 19:57

That’s a bit odd …sending pics to the rest of you.

TalulahJP · 02/05/2026 20:04

i’d post something sarcastic like:
“looks like fun, guess my invite got lost in the post 🤣”

Netcurtainnelly · 02/05/2026 20:06

TalulahJP · 02/05/2026 20:04

i’d post something sarcastic like:
“looks like fun, guess my invite got lost in the post 🤣”

that's shows them your bothered just ignore.

People are obsessed about letting everyone know what they are doing all the time. It's boring

Chocolattcoffeecup · 02/05/2026 20:08

I think if it's just two out of six it's not the same as leaving one or two out so it's not so bad. It is a bit odd to send pics to the group chat but probably drunk as PPs say.

Pasta4Dinner · 02/05/2026 20:09

First reply nails it. You all need to mute them and not give the attention they want, clearly they aren’t finding each others company that thrilling.

converseandjeans · 02/05/2026 20:11

BrownEyedLassie · 02/05/2026 19:52

Definitely no history of people being flaky or cancelling. I’m starting to wonder whether there’s another group chat I’m not in 🙈 Not the end of the world obviously.

@BrownEyedLassie it’s possible there is another group chat & they’re sending on the main one by mistake. Or they just assume everyone is interested in their antics.

TofuTuesday · 02/05/2026 20:11

We have a neighbours group chat (all couples except one) and i don’t mind updates. I don’t feel left out, I’d just suggest something myself

ilovebrie8 · 02/05/2026 20:13

It’s either being a bit snidey/bitchy or they are drunk 🥴.

I’d feel a bit put out.

Papster · 02/05/2026 20:14

‘Looks fun. Got to rush as I’m being spit roasted by your husbands’

ParadiseIsNoBunker · 02/05/2026 20:16

Two of ‘the group’ are out for whatever reason and have got pissed and sent photos to the rest - I genuinely couldn’t get aerated about such a scenario.

I’d think ‘they decided to meet up / met up by accident / had something they wanted to chat about / have developed a closer friendship, that’s lovely. Hope they aren’t suffering too much tomorrow! I’ll look forward to taking the piss of their hangovers in the chat’ and pour myself another G&T

BrownEyedLassie · 02/05/2026 20:17

The normal MO is to put in the group chat “is anyone free on the 2nd to go to X”…..this definitely hasn’t been posted in the chat. It’s almost like they are saying “look what we got up to without you guys”…..very weird! No one has responded, I guess we are all at home like this 😵‍💫😵‍💫

OP posts:
pikkumyy77 · 02/05/2026 20:17

I don’t see the problem? You are neighbors not conjoined twins. This is such a weird teenager way of looking at socializing. Its not a competition or a zero sum game. There’s nothing being stolen from you by these women. Poor things thought you were better friends than you are since you can’t stand to see anyone have fun and not be included.

Mrsknowitall · 02/05/2026 20:20

I’d just write in the group - ah man all these pics and vids are making me want to have a drink now, liz and @ daisy fancy bringing a bottle round mine and making a night of it?

LivingTheDreamish · 02/05/2026 20:21

Yes posting in the group chat is a bit off, I'd feel the same OP. These kinds of friendship groups always unravel eventually.

PoppinjayPolly · 02/05/2026 20:22

I’m sure the other women and me would have loved a night out rather than sitting in alone on a Saturday night.
when did you last organise the night out?

BrownEyedLassie · 02/05/2026 20:30

PoppinjayPolly · 02/05/2026 20:22

I’m sure the other women and me would have loved a night out rather than sitting in alone on a Saturday night.
when did you last organise the night out?

Exactly. For various reasons, none of us have a good social life outside of the group, which makes it a bit harder. We’re all nice women, the reason for this is because we have all moved here from different cities to start over. Actually that’s the first time that’s dawned on me that we have all moved here from far away!!

OP posts:
HoardingCow · 02/05/2026 20:35

Error404FucksNotFound · 02/05/2026 19:47

I'd have invited the other women round to mine and told them bring a bottle

Sorry ignore message you can tell im new here. I think I replied to the wrong person now cant find out how to delete the message 🤦‍♀️

Dancingsquirrels · 02/05/2026 20:35

TalulahJP · 02/05/2026 20:04

i’d post something sarcastic like:
“looks like fun, guess my invite got lost in the post 🤣”

Would you really?

I wonder what that would achieve

HoardingCow · 02/05/2026 20:36

Hi. This is my first ever post on mums net. Lol

I would say its a little 50/50

If you've known each other that long and have a group chat and send pictures and do all the girly nights in.
Im sure you lot have gossip and talk about anything and everything assuming you are all home alone. So having some company is great. You get to.know each other more and get closer this way.
They may not have planned it and bumped into each other and carried on the night together. You just never know. If I were you I would message and say... "uhum excuse me. Where was my invite" something not to offend but being friends for a few years like you mentioned i would be straight forward BUT you dont always have to invite everyone out each time. If you want to go deeper. They might like each other more than the rest of you...thats not a problem though they might just have more in common ect. not wanting to start anything here but you just do not know what happened. If it was just planned between the 2 of them then I would outright ask where was my invite. But not trying to seem jealous or annoyed so use the words for you and some emoji to cut through any feelings that dont want to be seen.