Would You Let DC attend the party?

[PeacockMonster]

Would you let your DD attend the birthday party?

I was treated horribly by my SIL to the point of her doing things to my food and tooth brush. Also pushing passed me so hard I stumbled at a gathering several years ago.

There is a party for my DH little brother (3) on the weekend and I’m not keen on none of us attending due to how I’ve been treated in the past. I also, don’t wan to be treated this way in my dd presence. Dh supports me 100% and he doesn’t even want to go.

what would you do? Would you allow your dc to attend with dh without you?

They’re making me out to be the bad guy but my point is they haven’t bothered with dd much as they spend more time with SIL child. So why are they making such a huge deal that I don’t want dd to attend.

open to all experiences and opinions 😌

Who wants to play guess the age?

@didntlikeanyofthesuggestions Age of whom?

Everybody tbh, but your husband and SIL mainly? Is SIL your husband's sister? How old is she? Is your husband's brother really 3? 🤯

I would not be entertaining contact from someone that tampered with my toothbrush and food, and tried to physically shove me over. Much less accepting party invitiations. It wouldn't matter to me how much of a 'bad guy' they tried to make me, what they thought or said about me would be irrelevant.

Surely if neither you nor your DH want to attend, you don't go?

Your DH doesn’t want to go so why is it even a question?

So neither you or DH want to go? Seems like the logical outcome is that you don't go.

My husband and I are 35, SIL is 31. Yes he’s really 3. FIL new partner is a younger woman.

I just wanted to understand whether not allowing dd to attend im not allowing her bonding time. I don’t want her missing out but im also not sure how they will be when im not around.

Reason I brought it up is because FIL new partner called me and made it seem I was stopping DH from bringing dd because I’m selfish. Sort of upset me I guess. Made me doubt my own experiences and maybe I’m being petty but then I remember all
if the awful things.

im not allowing her bonding time. I don’t want her missing out

Bonding time with the person that shoved you over, and spat in your food and cleaned the loo with your toothbrush?

Missing out on that? Good.

They’re making me out to be the bad guy

Then to quote the old mumsnet adage - you have a DH problem.

No way would my DH ever allow his sister anywhere near him, me, or any of our children ever again if she'd physically assaulted me, spat in my food and rubbed my toothbrush around the loo seat.

Why isn't your DH telling his dad exactly why none of you will ever be around his abusive sister ever again?

I read it as OP talking about her DD bonding with the 3yr old + rest of family, not the spiteful SIL.

Though I think the new partner is out of order for blaming it all on OP - unless she doesn't know the back story. In which case I'd tell her exactly what SIL has done.

@L00kingAround yes, bonding with the rest of the family. FIL girlfriend is very much aware of the history and she’s even witnessed it herself but it doesn’t her making excuses.

just tell them to get fucked. Simple .

Why isn't she phoning your husband, the actual brother of the birthday child?

The simple solution for then would have surely been not to have invited the nutter of a SIL?
Pass the phone to your DH and he can explain why none of you are going

Tell them all to fuck off. Don’t take calls from FIL partner. If you get hijacked just say it’s not up for discussion,

Why do you care whether your child has contact either these sorts of people?

NO WAY would I be going anywhere near them, let alone my child. Show yourself some respect and stay away and make it clear why. They have humiliated you, and are now trying to manipulate you. What the hell did your dh say after your FIL called and said those things?? people who disrespect you are not owed bonding time with your precious child Block your FIL and tell your DH to deal with all of them in future.

Why on earth did she do those terrible things to you?

You’re ’not keen on none of us attending’

So you want some of you to go?

@Pixiedust49 Because she felt like it. Lots of our downs over the years. She’s initially became jealous when DH would spend a lot of time with me in the early days and buy me nice things.

oh forgot to add either SIL or her friend stole my rings.

@TheBeaTgoeson1 I just can’t take none of us going and being the bad guy. It causes me lots of stress and anxiety.

Don't be a douche