Baby sleep - no naps!!!

[PrincessPeachxo]

I am struggling.
Until 4 weeks ago, my 10month old would sleep 11hr stetches! Then she started teething and then this was followed by not feeling very well. She has been back to her normal self 2 weeks ago but sleep has never returned. She wont sleep through anymore unless she comes in our bed. She will sleep 4 hrs and then wake, cry and falls back asleep in our bed. Ive tried letting her cry it out for a bit but she gets in some state and ive tried making the time longer before bringing her to bed but she gets more wound up. Then when she sleeps, I transfer her back to her cot. She doesnt wake and will stay asleep for maybe another hour and so the cycle repeats.

This has coincided with daytime naps disappearing unless its a weekend and my partner can help (he works during week) or if my mum is looking after her. She doesnt nap with me anymore and its hard not to take it personally. She will yawn, rub her eyes, and look knackered. I then give her some milk (she always has some before a nap), she looks like she is about to fall asleep but nope! Wide eyes, big smile and then tries crawling away. I have tried letting her crawl and roll around as to tire her out but it doesnt. I then just leave nap time and take her to another room to do something else so I am not fighting sleep for over an hour because sometimes it wont result in a nap!
But when I take her to a different room, half an hr later she is yawning, rubbing eyes, great i think, let's go nap! Nope she then wants to play.
The only way she will nap now, during the day, is if I go a drive.

As much as I dont mind doing this. I had no plans to leave house today as I have lots of housework to crack on with (we had a full on weekend and I said I would do the washing today and prep dinner during day). Now it looks like i might have to go a drive for her to sleep. I got snappy earlier and said "we aren't going a drive, I am not leaving the house for 2 hrs so you can sleep, I have things to do". I know shes a baby but before this it was contact naps for hours.
I just hear people doing all this stuff while their baby naps and I haven't ever been able to do this as she always contact napped so that was me for 2 hrs and now we need to leave the house and go a drive and there isnt much I can do in that time.
Getting down as baby across the road never slept but now is sleeping 12hrs a night with 3 naps during the day and the mum always posts on Instagram with homemade bread, cakes, building lego. I feel bad sitting on phone while baby in playpen playing hersel but i am not getting a goodnights sleep anymore and durjng the day its so hectic as its always "go". etc

Wish I could rewind back to sleeping through the night again. I was always guaranteed a good sleep, partner and I could be intimate, it gave me time in mornings and evenings. Now each night is different I cant plan anything. So housework or anything else is done whilst baby in playpen however she cries if I leave the room. I want my time back. Sorry if I sound selfish and please dont say "oh but your baby slept very well and this has only happened". Its still the same and isnt a competition.

I am angry that to enforce a nap that I need to leave the house. And why does she nap with my partner and mum. Why not me. I've had enough.

So 2.50pm and baby has been awake since 8am.

No naps

I should have said, does anyone have any tips? I have kept logs of everyday for the past 3 weeks. Its different everyday. There's no pattern. So I cant identity what works and what to keep etc

You need to calm down a little bit.

What is she doing when she's not napping? Is she grumpy and upset or fairly chilled out?

At this age I would be training her to nap in her cot. Can you do whatever you do to get her down in her cot at bedtime at nap time?

Fairly chilled at first and then gets grumpy after a little time.

She has never napped in her cot. Anytime I have tried she wakes. I have tried copying the evening, baby sleepgrow bag, sleep music, brushing teeth etc. It doesn't work.

Why not?

What do you think is different?

Is she self settling at bedtime or being rocked/fed to sleep?

I have literally no idea. She has always done this. Since she stopped using her moses basket. That was the only place she napped. If I knew why I would address it.

A bit of both. She always has a bottle as part of bedtime routine. She drinks this while lying in my arms, she will sometimes fall asleep while drinking or she will want to move away and sleep next to me. I then transfer her. I have tried putting her straight in her cot but she cries. Shes got to be in a deep sleep to be transferred.

Big hug! Not sure how useful my advise is but here you go. Unfortunately I had the same nap issue with my first. It’s so difficult. I tried EVERYTHING under the sun and a sleep specialist couldn’t even help. I wondered what I had done wrong. Then I had my second, and his sleep was totally different. In the best way possible. I realised it wasn’t anything I had done, it was just how my first baby was with sleep - terrible. Our nights took the same turns as yours. I find often when they are so tired from not napping all day, it massively disturbs their nighttime sleep. But if you can’t get them to nap, then you have no control over nighttime.

I struggled with naps continuously till my child ended up dropping them. Regarding, night time, I gave up and we all had a better sleep when we were all in the same bed.

My second has been a dream sleeper on all accounts. Sorry you are going through this. Sometimes you can try everything. Do try. But if you are at the brink of exhaustion, there really is no harm in stopping the resistance against it and co-sleeping at night.

Wish you all the best

Its difficult as she was a dream sleeper and its just stopped. I just wish there was some sort of pattern/routine. Oh its 11am time for nap 1, now lunch, oh 2nd nap etc etc each day is different. She has never napped in her cot either and I dont understand why. Even as a young baby she never napped in her next to be cot. She would always cry until she was out. She only napped in her moses basket. I dont know why

You need to sleep train her to nap in her cot. I found that mine would sleep at night in his cot much easier but needed some practice to do the naps there too, even if he was tired. By which I mean, leave her in the cot, if she is crying leave her for 5-10 minutes, never longer than 15 but I think once you start doing this you will notice she starts dropping off sooner and sooner.

I can sense your frustration and I can understand it. Being sleep deprived after sleeping again is horrible and exhausting and not having a moment or more in the day to catch your breath or do something you want/need to do is anger inducing.

from the sounds of things she’s probably overtired. I would be spending a week getting her at least 1 but try for 2 naps a day even if they are only 30 mins each. Whether you have to walk her in the pram, drive for hours or cosleep just try and get the rhythm back in your day. Good thing about the car or the pram is they aren’t on your body and they are less likely to sense your anger and frustration (which is probs why she sleeps for other people).

you haven’t broken her, she’s likely just in a bit of a developmental leap or stage and it will pass. But until then you might need to sack off jobs and productivity and take a different approach to get her little circadian rhythm happy again. When they are overtired they are flooded with cortisol and just like little Duracell bunnies. Takes awhile to get them to slow down and give in to rest.

my son was on two naps for ages. Any attempt to get him to one nap resulted in the grumpiest bay, split nights, hysterics - the lot. So he would wake at 6:30, naps at 9:30 for an hour or so, then a short afternoon nap just to tide him over to bedtime.

forget the books, forget what other babies are doing. Just focus on yours and trying something different for a few days if the usual contact napping isn’t working for now

Because all babies are different, and believe it or not it’s normal for them to not settle in a cot. Some do, some don’t. They people who have kids that do will blame it on something you are doing. But it’s not you. Babies sleep can change. It’s horrible

Also, telling me to calm down? Respectively, f off. You dont know what my life is like my day is non stop. She cries when I leave the room she wont nap.
Let me guess, yours all slept through. Napped during day?? And you could do housework, have lunch in peace etc.

And asking me why not etc erm, if it were that easy to identify the issue, id have a solution!

Im jusy annoyed as I decided not to fight the nap as I am fed up wasting hours fighting sleep when sleep doesnt even happen. So we then played a bit, I made us lunch. I made her soup and was feeding her it. She grabbed spoon for me and threw it at me. Resulting in soup all down me (not much but still). Okay, youre not hungry I will eat my lunch quickly. Tried eating and she starts crying, rubbing eyes, etc decide to out my lunch away as it was nap time. Nope. Wide awake. I really dont want to go out. I know I sound lazy but I havent got dressed today so in my lounge wear, havent showered and now I need to throw something on and go a bloody drive.

If she naps in the car or buggy, do that. Not ideal for you but sleep often promotes sleep. If you can get her to sleep in the buggy during a walk, then you can bring her into the house (if possible). That’s the only way I could’ve ever done it with my first.

Thats the thing she doesn't nap in her pram. She cries to come out. It makes pram walks with other mums stressful as she constantly cries.

But thank you for your advice. Sorry for sounding like a negative Nancy. The mum in my village today has posted fresh bread made this morning during naptime and its annoyed me. I had a lovely day out yesterday with my sister and partner texted me twice with a picture to show baby napping on two separate occasions. I dont want him to have it tough when im out but why do I not get a minute but when its my "day off" she will.sleep.hours for him.

Would going out in the pram rather than the car be an option?

My DCs would never nap in a cot but would nap in a pram so we would take them out for a walk then once they had dropped off, bring them back home, park the pram somewhere and get on with whatever jobs etc needed doing. We used to reliably get 1hr if useable time doing that.

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PrincessPeachxo · Today 15:14
Thats the thing she doesn't nap in her pram. She cries to come out. It makes pram walks with other mums stressful as she constantly cries.
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Take her for a drive if a drive is needed. Just do that.

Are you good at transferring her from the car seat into the house without waking her? I got really good at that with my two in the end!

You could try sleep training her to nap in the cot but it sounds like it may not be working?

I think you need to decide on a routine and stick to it because trying to chase her “moods” between eating, sleeping and playing is driving you up the wall. Or just go out for the day whatever and let her nap wherever.

What actually happens if you leave her in her cot for a few minutes when she's tired?

My 10mo has never napped well with me in the room. He thinks I'm there to play. If I leave him he chats to himself for a few minutes, occasionally a minute or so of crying if he's overtired then straight off to sleep.

If I stayed in the room he'd never nap.

I suspect that's what your DP did to get her to nap yesterday too. Have you asked him?

I feel for you! I’ve honestly been there. Truthfully nothing worked for us as a permanent solution. It’s really hard watching other people who don’t have this issue have time to themselves, even to shower, while baby naps. I grinned through it, but it’s exhausting. Not what you want to hear, sorry. I really hope it’s just a development phase for you that will sort itself out x

Unfollow the smug Mum - you don’t need that.

You have two choices - roll with it and don’t enforce any naps and carry on with co sleeping and hope she grows of it. Though I’m a believer that being over tired is hugely detrimental to night time sleep.

Or you sleep train. You can sleep train for daytime naps in the cot the same way as in the nighttime. It’s painful for about 3 days but does work. Not cry it out. But popping back and reassuring with your presence.

No at weekend her naps were contact naps with partner.

I do need to go a drive dont I as if I dont then its gonna get to bedtime and be a shit show!