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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to be furious after neighbour’s child sprayed me and washing?

99 replies

L27NEE · 19/04/2026 22:50

We already have issues with next door because the mum cannot manage the 7yo boy’s behaviour at all (I’d argue she doesn’t necessarily make much effort to from what we see and hear through the very thin walls to be fair though). He completely runs rings round her, the banging (often on the party wall) and screaming/swearing/shouting from him to the mum is awful, when the step-dad (who lives there) is off work it’s even worse somehow, and since they had another baby last October he’s been loads worse and you hear him start off and then the baby is screaming, and you either hear absolutely nothing from the adults or they start screaming too. She’s admitted before they often just try to ignore him because he can become physically violent towards her but listening to him is awful, it’s like he’s an abusive husband the way he goes on screaming and swearing at her. We do talk to them about it and she does get his grandparents to have him some of the time on weekends to try and give us all some respite from it which we’re grateful for, so we’ve been trying to just tolerate it as best we can.

Then this afternoon I was pegging out washing, I heard them come into the garden and the mum told the boy not to spray the hosepipe in the direction of the shared fence because ‘the neighbours are putting washing on the line’. While all this is going on here chickens were out of the (very smelly) enclosure roaming around and it just seemed like the usual general chaos going on there. I just carried on pegging the washing.

Our driveways are at the back of our back gardens so I don’t know if that’s where she went but the next minute, I got absolutely soaked and he was cackling spraying the hosepipe over the fence which sprayed all the washing line full of clothes I’d just took out of a spin to peg out.

I shouted over and said ‘[boy’s name] please can you stop that’, to which he continued and carried on laughing. She clearly heard me but never said anything to me and again told him to only spray it the other way and on the ‘rain’ setting ‘not the jet’. Seconds later he sprayed me and the washing again laughing his little head off. It was definitely on some sort of jet setting the way it was coming over.

I fully appreciate that for him this must have been the height of hilarity, but by this point all my hair was wet, my top was wet, and I was utterly cheesed off. I ended up shouting to the mother by name and said ‘he’s just sprayed me and the washing twice you know’. She again didn’t respond directly to me at all and just told him she wouldn’t let him use the hose again if he was going to do that.

It then went quiet for a few minutes and she then randomly started having a go at him that she hadn’t known he was in the garden and thought he had gone into the house and was in his bedroom, she complained that she was now going to have to go and do the whole garden with just the watering can because he couldn’t behave with the hosepipe - I can only assume she said that thinking it would ameliorate the situation with me, but I’d heard them from the moment they came into the garden so I knew that she knew full well he was in the garden. At no point did she directly respond to me or even say sorry.

AIBU to be pretty fuming about this? I’m so ground down with this child’s behaviour and the mother’s lackadaisical approach to parenting, but don’t know if I’m just over reacting or they actually really are just nightmare neighbours and I’m justified in being really upset and annoyed about today.

OP posts:
MermaidofRye · 19/04/2026 22:52

You are not being unreasonable but I am sure there will be lots of people along soon to raise the possibility that he may be ND.

Ihatelittlefriendsusan · 19/04/2026 22:53

If you were pegging wet washing out I cant see what harm him spraying it would do. But yanbu to be pissed off he got you too.

Unfortunately there is very little you can do if she doesn't discipline her kid.

WearyAuldWumman · 19/04/2026 22:57

Ihatelittlefriendsusan · 19/04/2026 22:53

If you were pegging wet washing out I cant see what harm him spraying it would do. But yanbu to be pissed off he got you too.

Unfortunately there is very little you can do if she doesn't discipline her kid.

For a start, the washing had probably been spun before it was hung out and would now take longer to dry.

Secondly, there's no way of knowing that the hosepipe used was actually clean.

TunnocksOrDeath · 19/04/2026 22:58

Ihatelittlefriendsusan · 19/04/2026 22:53

If you were pegging wet washing out I cant see what harm him spraying it would do. But yanbu to be pissed off he got you too.

Unfortunately there is very little you can do if she doesn't discipline her kid.

Come off it. There’s a difference between damp washing that’s just finished the spin cycle and clothes that have been thoroughly doused with a hose. They’ll take hours longer to dry now.

ScurryfungeSpuddle · 19/04/2026 22:59

Lol, that would annoy me too OP.

The little git.

Alwaysthesameoldstory · 19/04/2026 23:00

Are social services involved with the family OP? It sounds as though they should be. Trying to ignore a 7year old boy sounds like neglect. Him responding with violence doesn't really sound surprising.
Perhaps you should be reporting what is going on in the family ?

SilenceInside · 19/04/2026 23:02

MermaidofRye · 19/04/2026 22:52

You are not being unreasonable but I am sure there will be lots of people along soon to raise the possibility that he may be ND.

As the parent of a “ND” child, please don’t. My DS would not have been left unsupervised to behave this way. It’s shit parenting and total lack of supervision. Plus if my child had somehow done this before I could stop him I’d had profusely apologised and offered to rinse, spin and hang the washing. And then apologised again.

GrandmasCat · 19/04/2026 23:02

I would call social services, she is not coping and is in an abusive situation (yes, children can be domestic abuse perpetrators), the baby may be in danger too.

GrandmasCat · 19/04/2026 23:03

SilenceInside · 19/04/2026 23:02

As the parent of a “ND” child, please don’t. My DS would not have been left unsupervised to behave this way. It’s shit parenting and total lack of supervision. Plus if my child had somehow done this before I could stop him I’d had profusely apologised and offered to rinse, spin and hang the washing. And then apologised again.

Ditto.

flowerfairyy · 19/04/2026 23:04

Little fucker

L27NEE · 19/04/2026 23:04

TunnocksOrDeath · 19/04/2026 22:58

Come off it. There’s a difference between damp washing that’s just finished the spin cycle and clothes that have been thoroughly doused with a hose. They’ll take hours longer to dry now.

Yeah that stuff he sprayed didn’t dry before the sun moved round so I ended up bringing it in and putting it in the dryer 👎

OP posts:
LunaTheCat · 19/04/2026 23:06

I feel for you OP. It sounds as though you are very tolerant with the shouting, screaming through walls. The washing incident is the proverbial “straw that broke the camels back”.
i , too, think that you should call social services.

TheApollasMrCreatorNSOL · 19/04/2026 23:08

I would have told the mum 'turn that fucking hose off' Then there would be no more discussion end of.

Flannelfeet · 19/04/2026 23:10

Little shit! Get him with your hose next time hes out and see how funny he thinks it is 🤣.

L27NEE · 19/04/2026 23:11

SilenceInside · 19/04/2026 23:02

As the parent of a “ND” child, please don’t. My DS would not have been left unsupervised to behave this way. It’s shit parenting and total lack of supervision. Plus if my child had somehow done this before I could stop him I’d had profusely apologised and offered to rinse, spin and hang the washing. And then apologised again.

I get having ND kids is a really tough gig and do think he may have some kind of undiagnosed ND (I think she thinks that too), I do also think a lot of what goes on is because she’s too scared to actually parent him because he’s so aggressive though and some of the behaviour strikes me as just the behaviour of a child who has no structure or authority in his life rather than genuine dysregulated behaviour or whatever, so she either seems to ignore him or just ups the ante with him until sometimes their entire house is screaming/crying/shouting. And I think she just dissociates from him at times, he’ll be kicking off up to all sorts around her in and out of the house and she will just have the baby strapped to her wandering round feeding the chickens in the garden or whatever like it’s not happening. It’s really weird to see.

OP posts:
SilenceInside · 19/04/2026 23:18

@L27NEE so, as I was saying, nothing to do with whether or not the child is “ND” as if that’s some kind of reason not to parent him properly. This is a case of ineffective inconsistent parenting that’s verging on neglect. It’s a shit show regardless of whether anyone in that household is “ND”.

L27NEE · 19/04/2026 23:18

Alwaysthesameoldstory · 19/04/2026 23:00

Are social services involved with the family OP? It sounds as though they should be. Trying to ignore a 7year old boy sounds like neglect. Him responding with violence doesn't really sound surprising.
Perhaps you should be reporting what is going on in the family ?

Tbh we’ve had her crying at the front door when we’ve said about what we can hear before now, and I did think of doing this then, however it did settle for a while after we spoke. I don’t know if it’s at the point of being a safeguarding issue just because it’s bothering us and an worried I’m overreacting or whatever. I also don’t want all the drama off her - I’m currently waiting to see if I need heart surgery so could do without any more stress 😬. There can be a lot of high expressed emotion from the child and his mum at the best of times so feel like we’re always trying to keep a line of communication with them but not set it all off. I just want to hear normal happy child/family noise from them and not have to smell chicken poop or be soaked in my garden 🙈 I’d be so made up to have that!

OP posts:
Franjipanl8r · 19/04/2026 23:19

I’d have shouted “parent your child or I’ll call social services” over the fence. You were too polite. You need to act more unhinged to cope with neighbours like that.

L27NEE · 19/04/2026 23:21

SilenceInside · 19/04/2026 23:18

@L27NEE so, as I was saying, nothing to do with whether or not the child is “ND” as if that’s some kind of reason not to parent him properly. This is a case of ineffective inconsistent parenting that’s verging on neglect. It’s a shit show regardless of whether anyone in that household is “ND”.

I agree with you, I’ve known with someone who’s foster child had FASD in the past and he was a little handful but would never have been allowed to behave like that god bless him.

OP posts:
L27NEE · 19/04/2026 23:23

Franjipanl8r · 19/04/2026 23:19

I’d have shouted “parent your child or I’ll call social services” over the fence. You were too polite. You need to act more unhinged to cope with neighbours like that.

Do you think so? Me and my partner have talked about this before but I feel like it’d be ridiculous ringing SS up saying what I’ve said on here like they’d think it was just me being malicious or whatever. And as I mentioned on another post I feel like it would just cause a load of drama and probably just make things even more highly strung next door if I do that 😬 is there anything else you or anyone can suggest to raise this somewhere without ringing the social on them? 😬

OP posts:
SmellycatSmelllycat · 19/04/2026 23:23

SilenceInside · 19/04/2026 23:02

As the parent of a “ND” child, please don’t. My DS would not have been left unsupervised to behave this way. It’s shit parenting and total lack of supervision. Plus if my child had somehow done this before I could stop him I’d had profusely apologised and offered to rinse, spin and hang the washing. And then apologised again.

I would like to hope that most people understand that most parents with ND children do their best for them and to bring them up with appropriate discipline and supervision and are understanding about their challenges.

There does seem to be a theme that I’ve only seen on mumsnet where being ND is a suggestion to absolutely everything and often poor behaviour.

As someone ND myself I find it irritating when it’s used in that context but it’s also suggested for so many parenting posts now and it seems like virtue signalling when someone is describing what is more than likely just a child being naughty and multiple posters race to be the first to say that you shouldn’t make any negative comment in case the child is ND.

I sometimes read older threads when I am looking for advice because there is some really good ideas and opinions that don’t automatically jump to the conclusion that a child must have SEN, ASD or ADHD. It is occasionally mentioned as a suggestion amongst other things but it’s not multiple people trying to diagnose a child from a few brief sentences.

Twooclockrock · 19/04/2026 23:26

I have two ND kids and they would be absolutely breated if they did any of that. Plus they wpuldn't, if they have a hose then they are supervised and they wilm come inside if they start to be idiots with the hose. Nd or not, you don't purposefully spray water into your neighbours garden and do it several times whilst laughing about it.
This isnt a 'because of ND' aituation. This is a because his parents arent parenting situation.
Iam not sure what you can do about it tbh.
About the chickens, I did once call the rspca on my neighbour, they were junkies living with three kids and a bunch of animals and their garden was full of broken glass windows and their kjds and dogs were just climbing and playing out there.
You could call rspca if you think the chickens are not being looked after and hope they will also pick up on any other neglect and inform any other agencies that need to get involved.

ChaToilLeam · 19/04/2026 23:26

ND or not, that child is not being adequately parented. You must be infuriated.

Empress13 · 19/04/2026 23:27

Ihatelittlefriendsusan · 19/04/2026 22:53

If you were pegging wet washing out I cant see what harm him spraying it would do. But yanbu to be pissed off he got you too.

Unfortunately there is very little you can do if she doesn't discipline her kid.

Are you for real? So you wouldn’t care if your recently spun almost dry washing for bloody soaked again ? Yeh right. OP I’d have been fuming

YayRain · 19/04/2026 23:29

ND kids don't have to run riot and do this sort of thing if they are parented. I have some.

I'd consider calling social services. This mother sounds like she needs some support and may need some help to set them up or get into the right supports. I'd also call the RSPCA for those poor chickens, if it's as bad as you say.