When I'm distressed I talk about my feelings alot

[Hippychickbbbb]

I've been told I'm a pain in the ass when I'm upset I talk about my feelings alot

Who has told you that?

That does sound annoying to be honest. Can you have two way conversations or do you just bombard people with how you feel?

I think more details are needed.

How much is a lot?
What do you get distressed/upset about?
What do you do to make yourself feel better?

Some people process feelings by talking about them, but there can be a risk of being a bit of an emotional vampire

Find a good counsellor. It's well worth if you have things you are struggling with.

Who told you this? Who do you talk to? Do you repeat yourself a lot and ruminate on the same issues? Do you ask other people about their life and feelings?

I'm traumatised i didnt mean to talk about my feelings alot it's a sigh I'm struggling with my feelings I try not to over load people I was told on a helpline its good to talk your feelings

I know what you mean. I often feel like I can't really express my anxiety easily in front of many people without them finding it unpalatable.

In two ways usually. One, they are too mentally unwell and anxious themselves to be able the handle it. Or two, they have no experience or understanding of anxiety and genuinely don't know what to do or say.

Have you thought about a counsellor/ therapist?

I think this is one of those posts where details really matter.

Are you talking to random people or too much?

I don't mean to be annoying

The other people in your life are not therapists or a helpline. You need to get some notion of when it’s appropriate and when it isn’t. You also need to understand that your feelings aren’t necessarily important or interesting to everyone else. If you monopolise the conversation with your feelings / trauma you’re just using other people as unpaid therapists and that isn’t fair.

It depends really. Who is telling you this, if it’s a partner it could be a sign of narcissism…

If you mean in general and more than one person has commented on it then I think perhaps might be a good idea to get a therapist? I know that’s cliche but when your friend / someone you know is constantly down and negative and talks about it a lot it can be a bit overwhelming and draining. I’m not talking about reaching out once every so often for some support but if it’s daily or weekly you need to step back a bit and get some professional help x

You're going to need to give more detail if you want people to help.

Nobody said you meant to be annoying.

Honestly op, it’s impossible to have any real insight into your behaviour with so little to go on, there’s just no context.
Who has said this to you? Is it two way conversations or is it you just trauma-dumping? Is it to friends, family, strangers..? Is it repetitive? Are the details distressing for others to hear? Etc etc etc.

I spoke about things that have traumatised me I didnt realise how much I was talking about it I've beaten myself up for this

Exactly this... we need more information OP

I think the term trauma dumping is cruel I do have 2 way conversations

Yes it is.

But obviously it depends on who you're talking to and whether you're imposing on them.

Choosing your audience will be far more helpful for you.

It’s good to talk about your feelings, but there’s a wider context to that around making sure that the people you’re talking to are in a position to cope with hearing about your feelings and feel able to tell you when they’re not, and that they know what’s expected of them - whether they’re just to listen, or to offer advice.

If multiple people in your life are telling you that they’re not able to provide you with the level of listening and support that you’re asking them to provide, then you need to look for professional avenues of support, with people who are trained and qualified to work with distress.

Somebody else’s trauma is very difficult for those who aren’t professionals to counsel on. It’s very different to helping with and sympathising about ordinary experiences we’ve all had, such as listening to a friend vent for a bit about their bad day at work, or providing a bit of a shoulder to cry on after a relationship breakup.

It needs to be a bit of give and take. Mention your feelings and chat and offload for a few minutes, but then ask them about how they're doing and then chat about other things in life. I have a family member who monopolises conversations with her feelings and whilst I have sympathy, it can be really testing after hours and hours of listening to it on a loop.
For more in depth conversations about your feelings invest in a therapist or counsellor, or start journelling.

If people can’t address this issue without you getting upset and calling them cruel, that’s a problem.

This. Are you actually having a conversation or are you just waiting for them to finish talking and it’s back to you?

Is it multiple people saying it?
How long do these conversations last
What do you want them to do?

This is true, if you’re struggling it’s good to talk. However, friends and family are also people and overloading them with your emotions can cause them stress, pain and overwhelm too. As such, it’s best to speak to people who are trained to support you like a therapist or counsellor. Talking therapy is what those people are for!