WTF IS THIS ENTITLED MESSAGE FROM FRIEND!!!

[Iamthequeenoftheworld]

I get a text message from old friend from work who lives abroad I talk briefly to like once a year or once every 2 years, we were never close at all, more like Facebook friends

“hey, I gave your number to these people from Ukraine. Can you please explain uk pensions to them. What they are and how they work, how they can get them etc. They will call you tomorrow”

i dont helping people, at first thought it was just a question or two and when I heard Ukraine I thought some vulnerable refugees.

I didn’t think and just agreed.

my husband and son and daughter are now telling me off. Going wtf is this entitled

what do you think, is my husband right?

I don’t mind helping, but it’s the way she told me is the problem

She should certainly not have given your number to anyone without asking your permission first. I'd be pissed off about that part and I would tell her that however if you know a lot about pensions and were originally happy to help i probably would anyway as really it's not the poor Ukrainian peoples fault that your friend went about it the wrong way!

What do you mean you agreed? What was your response? What do you know about UK pensions for Ukranian people?

Make sure she knows not to give your number out to anyone else.
Whether you help or not is up to you, if I was able to I might, but while I'd try to give accurate information, I wouldn't spend a lot of time on it!

Can you even help them? There’s so many variables.

Just send them a link to the UK Government info about Ukrainians getting help in UK.

And ask acquaintance not to give your number out to anyone in future.

She shouldn't be giving your number to anybody without your express permission first - never mind assuming you will do a favour that you might not be either inclined or able to do.

Also dd just looked them up on this woman’s friends list and these people are Ukrainian but from Spain, according to Facebook lived 20 years in Spain, so not refugees and look well off! If this is themI don’t understand why they’d need my help

I don’t give out anybody’s number to anybody else without seeking their permission. Even in a work setting. Sometimes I am being overcautious but I would rather get it wrong this way.

Yanbu, its entitled and dickish to do it in that way

Why did you SHOUT OP?

As a solicitor (no longer practicing) i am very used to people deciding I can give information for them or their friends and family. I am also used to them getting shitty and saying 'where is the harm if you just answer the question?'. Because either I don't know (my speciality was in family law not fucking conveyancing / criminal law/ etc etc etc) or because there are strict regulations against providing ad hoc advice.

I always say 'Can I direct you to this [website]. It's not my area'.

Then I would seriously bollock your friend for giving out your contact details. If they do not have enough respect for you, then stuff em.

Not a friend for sure. Used you as useful contact more like. Be a new notebook… with nothing useful inside.

Is this an area you have expertise in? Very random if not! I would be pissed off only because it’s something I know not much about!

I think friend is a CF - generally I am happy to help people also if I can but how does this friend know your availability time wise to do this? I would be upset to having had my number given out randomly (unless this is your professional number but then CF to assume you would work for free!!)

I would reply back along these lines- ‘please don’t give my number out in future without checking with me first. I’m happy to help people generally but I’d like to know who and why first, and confirm if I have time to help.’

you could be a bit harsher if you don’t want to maintain the friendship though..

Just don't answer the phone if you don't want to. I'm a bit more puzzled as to why you agreed at the time without apparently having a problem with it, and only decided it was 'entitled' when your DH and children said it was. I mean, that's your call.

I’d get back to her and say “I did a bit of research to help your friends and tbh it’s quite confusing and depends on many circumstances so I don’t think I will be able to help after all. Here’s the website you need (insert dot gov link). Wishing then good luck and please tell them not to phone as I can help sorry (ps dont give my number out in case this happens again, just ask me first). Hope you’re all well x”

Are you a pensions adviser? Anyway just don't answer your phone.

Also I wrote please in the op but looking at message now she didn’t even say this

dd also goes it’s rude how she says they will you tomorrow instead of checking your availability/asking if tomorrow is ok/what time/ if you might be busy tomorrow

What a weird request, and why does she think Ukrainians living in Spain are entitled to UK pensions?

In fairness she hasn’t said they are refugees or on their uppers - she just wants you to advise them on UK pensions. They could be millionaires for all you know. Are you well versed in pensions especially? Especially those that apply to Spanish residents of Ukraine nationality?

Some people take the piss. I just wouldn’t accept the call, they probably won’t even call.

Nutter. Block her, and don't pick the phone up to them. Their pensions are none of your business and she's a joker.

Well, you don’t have to answer the phone.
It’s very presumptuous of her, and if you’re not free you should communicate that. But if you work in pensions then you’ll know these questions rarely extend beyond the basics. You can’t give any advice but you can signpost them to the appropriate websites to carry out their own reading.

Your help can be giving them the contact details for the CAB and telling them to phone up for the information they need.
Then block their number.

I don't really understand why you've had to take to the internet to ask if this is entitled behaviour.

Especially as it's clear from your posts that you know it is?

She’s sent the message to you in error, surely. It’s out of the blue, with no context. I’d reply letting her know she’s made a mistake so she has the chance to message the correct person.

Who the fuck gives other peoples numbers out .I would be telling her to piss off