Iv made a previous post about this but there’s been updates since. for context, MIL & FIL we’re going on holiday over Xmas, we got into a huge fight because she had asked us to visit before Xmas so DS could open his Xmas present early as they wouldn’t be able to see him open it on Xmas day. She picked a day & said it was the only day she was free, DP changed his shift with someone at work so he would be available at her request. We all agreed on the day & time, the day comes & she keeps delaying us with later times, example (“just got a few errands, can we change it to 4pm? just got to pop here to grab something, can we make it 6 instead? Stuck in traffic, will be about half 6”) DP & I were annoyed but waited it out, got to half 6 & we got delayed again with “only just got to your nans so will need to be later”, at this point DP said it’s getting too late now, DS would be asleep soon. DP calls MIL & tells her & essentially tells her it’s too late now & we have waited all day already, MIL starts guilt tripping him with “so now I can’t see my grandson till after the holidays?”, I jumped in (I admit I probably shouldn’t of, it should of been between DP & MIL but I was just annoyed & wound up in the heat of the moment & hearing her using DS to guilt trip DP only wound me up more) & basically said “You had your chance to see him today but you have been unreliable & keep failing to stick to the plans YOU set, if you knew you were going to be busy you should of said so before your son changed his shifts at your demand” she starts mouthing off & tells me to “stop barking” tells DP to “put a muzzle on it” & “son get it on a leash would you” & “son would you tell it to shut up”, constantly referring to me as ‘IT’ & a dog & continuously trying to shush me, to which DP tells her not to talk to me like that & tells her he’s going to hang up if she carry’s on, she gets pissy with DP for backing me up & hangs up on him.
We’ve been no contact since & myself & DP had ultimately decided to cut all ties with them after MIL’s vulgar comments & made the decision to keep DS away from MIL, up until today where FIL messaged DP & just asked “so when do we get the see DGS then”, DP decided the best course of action would be to ignore them because it would only stir things up again & we didn’t want another argument. FIL kept messaging asking DP “why are you ignoring me? Why aren’t you answering me?”, DP responded saying “you can see DS once mom has apologised & learns to respect his parents” FIL then said “you know how stubborn your mom is, she’ll never apologise, you can’t seriously ban us from seeing him, OP (myself) needs to learn to let things go” DP hasn’t responded cause it’s just winding us up all over again.
I can’t help but feel like surely if they loved their son & grandson enough they’d be willing to apologise at the risk of losing their relationship with them.
Am I being unreasonable to ban in laws from seeing DS after such vulgar comments & then refusing to apologise for said comments? How can I forgive someone who hasn’t apologised? Do they have any legal rights for contact with DS?