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Should I report a delivery driver for inappropriate behaviour to my friend?

14 replies

Pandimoanymum · 22/05/2026 22:33

Ok, so as the title says, I feel like this needs reporting because I'm concerned this man may do this to others, or he may escalate his behaviour. But there again, I don't know if I'm overreacting.
This happened a week ago. Friend was having a kitchen appliance delivered from a local shop. On this day, this delivery man turned up on his own (there are usually two for large appliances). My friend is a mature lady and this guy was young, maybe mid twenties/thirtyish. His behaviour was normal until she had to sign on his phone screen to confirm the delivery. She said he put the phone down on the worktop in such a way that she had to turn her back to him to sign it. While her back was to him, she felt him lightly brush his hand across the small of her back. At first, she wasn't sure what it was, then thought she might have been mistaken, or he'd done it accidentally, so she didn't react. But then she felt him run his hand down her hip. She knew then that she wasn't mistaken, and then she felt very flustered, she said she knew she should have " said or done something" but she sort of froze and felt like she didn't know what to do, so she just pretended she hadn't noticed, she just wanted him to go.

As she was walking with him to the front door, she mentioned that she was glad she had an afternoon delivery as she didn't have to get up and "get dressed" really early( i know this sounds a daft thing to say but she was nervous and she always gabbles and talks too much when she's nervous) and he looked directly at her chest and said, "well... half-dressed". Friend had a jumper on, but no bra and even though she was completely covered it was very obvious he was leering at her, even though there was nothing to actually see. She again ignored it, got him out of the front door, then as he was leaving he kept saying weird things like "I'll DEFINITELY see you again" and " If you need anything else delivered I'd love to help, I'd do anything for you". Basically, it was all inappropriate and creepy. After he'd gone she went and scrutinised herself in a mirror to make sure there was nothing showing through her jumper because he made her feel like he could tell she had no bra on.

Now, she's only told me this during a casual chat over lunch, and she doesn't want to report this guy. We're both late fifties, I guess you could say she's a bit old school in that she remembers the days when we just had to "put up" with things like this, and she doesn't want him to lose his job. But i see it differently. I don't want to lose her friendship, which I'm afraid would happen if she found out I reported the incident, but it's preying on my mind that he might do something similar to other women alone in their home who might be really scared by it. Or he may escalate his behaviour. I'm just wondering what you all think, should I just forget about it and accept she doesn't want anything done, or should I report it to someone? And if so, can I do that without it getting back to her that I was the one who reported him?

OP posts:
Blackbird2409 · 22/05/2026 22:43

Def report. My sister reported a sleaze bag plumber to the police and they took immediate action. If it had just been a bit of banter , that’s one thing but touching your friend was totally inappropriate.

Pandimoanymum · 22/05/2026 22:51

Can I report it without friend finding out it came from me, though? I don't want the police to tell her it came from me, as I know she doesn't want to make a fuss or for him to lose his job. Personally I couldn't care less if he loses his job, but she's a dear friend and I don't want to fall out with her.

OP posts:
Twinandatwoyearold · 22/05/2026 23:00

Yes - he could go on to attack someone. The touching is vile. So what if he loses his job. If he attacks a women he could ruin her life. As an adult he must know this behaviour is wrong and risks him being sacked.

Id speak to her and explain why I feel she should report it. It’s not her responsibility to protect others (of course) but I would want to. I’d also tell the company if it’s a corporate / very large firm (is it a large company or an independent?).

I know of delivery drivers wolf whistling and flirting (edited to add which is also inappropriate) but the touching and leering comments are disturbing.

LarksAscending · 22/05/2026 23:02

I don’t think the police or the company will
do anything if it comes second hand rather than from your friend directly. I’d try to persuade her to complain to the company.

I don’t think the police would do anything sadly. Just being realistic.

Pandimoanymum · 22/05/2026 23:15

Twinandatwoyearold · 22/05/2026 23:00

Yes - he could go on to attack someone. The touching is vile. So what if he loses his job. If he attacks a women he could ruin her life. As an adult he must know this behaviour is wrong and risks him being sacked.

Id speak to her and explain why I feel she should report it. It’s not her responsibility to protect others (of course) but I would want to. I’d also tell the company if it’s a corporate / very large firm (is it a large company or an independent?).

I know of delivery drivers wolf whistling and flirting (edited to add which is also inappropriate) but the touching and leering comments are disturbing.

Edited

It's a local shop that's part of a cooperative of independent, family run retailers. So not a chain as such, as each shop is still owned and run separately from each other, but they all share the brand name. Friend said that the delivery guys arent direct employees of the shop, I think she means the shop contracts out the delivery work to another business.

OP posts:
ALotofThingsBeataJet2HolidayActually · 22/05/2026 23:52

If this happened as your friend said it did then of course she should report it.

I don't think you should report it for her because you could be anyone. I wouldn't take you seriously if I was the shop, for all I'd know you could be a jilted lover trying to get revenge by attempting to get him to lose his job. You'd also look weird and make your friend seem incapable.

MrThorpeHazell · 23/05/2026 07:19

It's hearsay. If they take action on the basis of it, the driver will have them on toast.

Either your friend reports it or drop it as far as I can see.

Wishimaywishimight · 23/05/2026 08:08

I would be worried that he will think your friend made the complaint and he knows where she lives.

Left · 23/05/2026 08:39

How horrible for your friend. Just support her, however she needs, essentially it’s up to her.

Lurkingonmn · 23/05/2026 13:55

While it is inappropriate, I think you need to respect that it is her decision. He knows where she lives. It will probably be obvious it was referring to her if he gets spoken to about it. It needs to be her choice if she wants to take it further. Support your friend, suggest she reports it and that you'd help her if she likes.

Dollymylove · 23/05/2026 14:40

Does your friend want it reporting? Have you asked her? If not its not up to you to do anything

Casperroonie · 23/05/2026 14:40

Pandimoanymum · 22/05/2026 22:33

Ok, so as the title says, I feel like this needs reporting because I'm concerned this man may do this to others, or he may escalate his behaviour. But there again, I don't know if I'm overreacting.
This happened a week ago. Friend was having a kitchen appliance delivered from a local shop. On this day, this delivery man turned up on his own (there are usually two for large appliances). My friend is a mature lady and this guy was young, maybe mid twenties/thirtyish. His behaviour was normal until she had to sign on his phone screen to confirm the delivery. She said he put the phone down on the worktop in such a way that she had to turn her back to him to sign it. While her back was to him, she felt him lightly brush his hand across the small of her back. At first, she wasn't sure what it was, then thought she might have been mistaken, or he'd done it accidentally, so she didn't react. But then she felt him run his hand down her hip. She knew then that she wasn't mistaken, and then she felt very flustered, she said she knew she should have " said or done something" but she sort of froze and felt like she didn't know what to do, so she just pretended she hadn't noticed, she just wanted him to go.

As she was walking with him to the front door, she mentioned that she was glad she had an afternoon delivery as she didn't have to get up and "get dressed" really early( i know this sounds a daft thing to say but she was nervous and she always gabbles and talks too much when she's nervous) and he looked directly at her chest and said, "well... half-dressed". Friend had a jumper on, but no bra and even though she was completely covered it was very obvious he was leering at her, even though there was nothing to actually see. She again ignored it, got him out of the front door, then as he was leaving he kept saying weird things like "I'll DEFINITELY see you again" and " If you need anything else delivered I'd love to help, I'd do anything for you". Basically, it was all inappropriate and creepy. After he'd gone she went and scrutinised herself in a mirror to make sure there was nothing showing through her jumper because he made her feel like he could tell she had no bra on.

Now, she's only told me this during a casual chat over lunch, and she doesn't want to report this guy. We're both late fifties, I guess you could say she's a bit old school in that she remembers the days when we just had to "put up" with things like this, and she doesn't want him to lose his job. But i see it differently. I don't want to lose her friendship, which I'm afraid would happen if she found out I reported the incident, but it's preying on my mind that he might do something similar to other women alone in their home who might be really scared by it. Or he may escalate his behaviour. I'm just wondering what you all think, should I just forget about it and accept she doesn't want anything done, or should I report it to someone? And if so, can I do that without it getting back to her that I was the one who reported him?

Your friend's a grown up. She needs to deal with it herself I'm afraid.

Pandimoanymum · 23/05/2026 14:55

Thanks everyone. It's good to get other peoples' perspective. I'm afraid that she's very unlikely to report it, she's very much a head-in-the-sand type personality and avoids lots of things in her life that adults need to do but doesn't because she finds them awkward & uncomfortable. I think I will gently try to persuade her to report it, mainly so that it's "on the record" somewhere should any other women report similar with him, but I won't do it myself. Thanks again.

OP posts:
beeny · 23/05/2026 15:10

Tell your friend yo report this, I have prosecuted a case like this and the lady was a widow and the workman hugged her with an erect penis and kept talking about his penis. He went to prison. He had no previous convictions.

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