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How would you solo-celebrate your 50th birthday?

160 replies

50andFeelingUnloved · 03/05/2026 21:19

For reasons that are too long winded and too identifiable to write, I feel really let down that my loved ones have not planned anything for my imminent 50th birthday, despite them talking about it for months.

Usually, due to being a lone parent for almost 20years, my birthday has been a minimal affair, but this one was talked about as being a big deal and important, and I was looking forward to celebrating. I have adult children, and plenty of good friends from different facets of my life, but it appears I will be spending it on my own, with the dog.

I am so overwhelmingly sad about this. And this emotional response was, in itself, confusing me because historically, I haven't been upset that my birthday was a minimal affair. I now recognise that it is because I feel it serves as a mirror to how people view/value me. I feel unloved and like I don't matter to anyone, that I just live to serve other peoples needs but am not a priority for anyone, or worth celebrating. My logic brain knows this is not wholly true but my emotional brain is fighting logic real hard.

I'm now being offered breadcrumbs and maybes.
I've thrown my toys out of the pram and told them not to organise or do anything, that I don't want a pity party.
I've decided that I am NOT sitting at home on my own and I will plan something special to do on my own.
But I'm struggling to come up with feasible ideas, things I've considered and got excited about vary but either have a minimum of two people, aren't available that weekend or just cost too much money-which I struggle to spend on myself.

So I'm asking for suggestions of what you would do in a similar situation to see if I can be inspired.
Please don't say spa day, but I'm quite open to other ideas.
The dog can be part of it, but can also be cared for elsewhere.

OP posts:
IrisDaisyMarigoldLillyRose · 03/05/2026 21:23

Go on holiday?

ItWasCalledYellow · 03/05/2026 21:24

Maybe instead of actually going out to do something big, buy yourself a really nice treat like a bag, or shoes you have always wanted? The same thing happened for my 40th a few years ago and I treated myself to a YSL bag, then I got myself some really nice food treats for the day itself! I had a really long walk with my dog in AM and totally relaxed in evening!

Pricklynic · 03/05/2026 21:26

Is there an exhibition or workshop you’d be interested in in? What about a retreat type thing where most people will be going alone? Something you wouldn’t usually do.
Happy Birthday for the day OP. People are really crap sometimes and I doubt it is any reflection on you.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

MrsRylance · 03/05/2026 21:28

I think that I would go to Rome, Paris or Berlin. When is your birthday weekend? What do you enjoy - Nature, theatre, art, music? Give us some clues and we can do some research. This could be fabulous!😁

TheChosenTwo · 03/05/2026 21:29

I’d book myself a city break and head off for a couple of days. Bit of wandering in the sunshine, sightseeing, boat tour, stopping off for food and drinks, nice fancy dinners by myself or room service if preferred. Some good books and podcasts lined up.

wafflesmgee · 03/05/2026 21:29

What did you do when you were younger that made you feel invigorated? Do that
eg a weekend in a new city with museum trips, new haircut and theatre in the evening or clubbing on your own

wild swimming at a cool glamping campsite

or something totally new eg bungee jumping

you could book one new thing a month for the whole year of being fifty as a promise to yourself, so you have things to look forward to all year, like a bucket list

BatshitIsTheOnlyExplanation · 03/05/2026 21:30

TheChosenTwo · 03/05/2026 21:29

I’d book myself a city break and head off for a couple of days. Bit of wandering in the sunshine, sightseeing, boat tour, stopping off for food and drinks, nice fancy dinners by myself or room service if preferred. Some good books and podcasts lined up.

This is absolutely the best idea!

SwissEscape · 03/05/2026 21:32

Get a taxi to a really special restaurant or somewhere that's a treat ? Night in hotel not to far away that's also a treat ?

drspouse · 03/05/2026 21:32

I've always organised my own celebrations - if I left it to someone else they'd be crap. Or they'd invite people I hate.
I'm not clear why you are expecting other people to organise it? Surely you just book a nice restaurant for you and your adult kids - if they have to come from far and stay over you get to see them for longer.
I'm having a big birthday next year and I'm booking a fairly large cottage for us and friends/relatives. It will probably end up being two near each other actually.

chimichangaz · 03/05/2026 21:34

I really feel what you’re saying OP ❤️

I think the suggestion from @wafflesmgee about doing something for yourself every month is a good one. Think about what you like to do - it doesn’t have to be big, or flashy - just something that makes you happy.

I hope on your actual birthday you have a great day - what an achievement 😊

spstchmu · 03/05/2026 21:35

What were the things you think you'd like to do that needs 2+ people?
Just looking for inspiration for you, im a solo birthdayer. My immediate thought is booking onto something brilliant that is in a group. But ive also done fun things that were just me

mumofoneAloneandwell · 03/05/2026 21:35

I'd get dressed up, go for drinks at the ritz and then go dancing at a random club and go home with a hot man 🥰

Happy 50th! - sorry those around you are shite

dotdotdotdash · 03/05/2026 21:36

Take the day off at least for a day trip somewhere or a weekend away. Eat what you like to eat and do an activity you enjoy. Also, please don’t take this the wrong way, but it isn’t the role of friends and family to organise things
To make us happy. It’s nice if they do but don’t expect it or you will be disappointed.

Alltheusefulitems · 03/05/2026 21:36

An extreme day trip? I went from Kent to Edinburgh for the day on the train once, took a book and a gloriously fancy picnic of all the things I love like cheese, crackers, wine miniatures for the journey. It was certainly a memorable little adventure and wasnt overly expensive.

spstchmu · 03/05/2026 21:36

Also what absolute dicks for doing this to you and good on you for refusing to sit at home sad

AEIOYOU · 03/05/2026 21:37

chimichangaz · 03/05/2026 21:34

I really feel what you’re saying OP ❤️

I think the suggestion from @wafflesmgee about doing something for yourself every month is a good one. Think about what you like to do - it doesn’t have to be big, or flashy - just something that makes you happy.

I hope on your actual birthday you have a great day - what an achievement 😊

Sorry...I missed something. What's that "achievment"?

fundamentallyauthentic · 03/05/2026 21:37

Some kind of mini break or holiday, a favourite place or somewhere you’ve always wanted to go to. Spend as much money as you can, don’t deny yourself anything but be (reasonably) sensible - room service, meals out, shopping, sights, taxis. Perhaps go to the cinema or see a show?

duckingclueless · 03/05/2026 21:39

I’d book a group holiday. I like much better adventures. Do something completely new.

BobbieTables · 03/05/2026 21:39

If walk a national trail or part of one with a couple of decent books staying in pubs along the way. That's what I actually plan to do.

Johnogroats · 03/05/2026 21:40

Any chance your kids are arranging a surprise party? If not I’d go on holiday.

DailyEnergyCrisis · 03/05/2026 21:40

City break- uk or Europe on Eurostar maybe? Lovely food, wine/cocktails, wandering, good book, maybe an event there like a cooking class or a show/musical. Get a nice hotel with a bit of a spa for a prosecco in the jacuzzi in the evening.

Lindy2 · 03/05/2026 21:41

I'm sorry you feel disappointed.

Did your family members know that you were hoping they would organise something? If you don't usually do anything then they might not have realised you wanted something organised, unless you specifically told them.

DH and I always discuss who is organising things and what we're doing for birthdays otherwise no one would know what was going on. I'm sure there's still time to organise a family meal or get together if you wanted.

Anyway, if it was me organising something special just for myself I think I'd book a very luxurious hotel in a city I wanted to explore for a couple of nights.

I hope you manage to enjoy your birthday whatever you decide to do.

Pedallleur · 03/05/2026 21:41

I was 50 in Como. Beautiful. Flew to Milan (beautiful) then train to Como. Other lovely destinations abound but go somewhere you want to go, maybe somewhere different Stockholm? and celebrate your life. Do it for you. When I retired recently I went to a 3 * Michelin restaurant. It was a great place to be a week after being at work

JennyForeigner · 03/05/2026 21:41

Go to Rome, buy yourself the biggest most fabulous gelato money can secure, and eat it sitting on the Spanish steps.

If you meet an attractively groomed middle aged lover of your preference and never come back, all the better.

JennyForeigner · 03/05/2026 21:42

Happy birthday, by the way!

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