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AIBU?

To visit an adult baby nursery

136 replies

FlappinSwazy · 16/03/2017 15:53

AIBUE to visit an adult baby nursery to attempt to heal from some very early years childhood sexual abuse.

I have found one, and been offered a place to go visit, which does not provide any sexual / kink / fetish element (nothing wrong with that just not what I am looking for) alongside the adult "babying". It is run by a psychotherapist and appears to be run with clean, honest boundaries to transform early years traumatic memories.

I am so fed up of being unwell. I am pretty desperate and will literally try anything right now. I feel like I am falling apart and other services are not working, or terminating early, or not suitable.

OP posts:

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ZilphasHatpin · 16/03/2017 15:59

I didn't realise these existed for anything other than sexual/fetish purposes.

Have you had other counselling?

ZilphasHatpin · 16/03/2017 16:00

Sorry, I've just seen you've tried other services. Do you know why they weren't working? What makes you think this will work where those others haven't?

Schwifty · 16/03/2017 16:06

"A community of adults who dress up as babies say that the habit is all about comfort and it's NOT sexual - or at least, not for everyone." I've watched documentaries and read about it just because I'm intrigued, it's not for me but each to their own. OP are you able to just go for an initial visit without participating, to get a feel for the place?

AbsentmindedWoman · 16/03/2017 16:19

This rings MASSIVE alarm bells. Please be very careful with who you trust, I'm sorry but I don't think this is genuine.

It may well be run by a psychotherapist but that means nothing really.

To me this sounds like it falls into the psychosexual fantasy category.

It also reminds me of Christian "domestic discipline" enthusiasts, who insist that spanking their wives for punishment holds zero sexual charge.

wonderingsoul · 16/03/2017 16:26

Iv read a little about this, and tbh i can see how itd work.

On a much smaller scale, but when im stressed or upset i love nothing more then to be cuddled up to my partner and have him stroke my hair. I feel protected and looked after it helps me work through my feelings or be more capable of it.

This is just a bigger scalr.. where you can re inact your childhood... the way it should have been. Youll be able to face thouse feelings you felt as a child. Deal with them and "replace" the feeling of being cared for.

I would check it out. Theres no harm in visting and even if you do one sesson if you dont like it then you dont have to carry on.

DJBaggySmalls · 16/03/2017 16:26

That would make me feel more vulnerable, not less. Its putting you back into the situation where you were abused.
What would you do if it triggered a crisis?

SuperFlyHigh · 16/03/2017 16:27

This sounds strange. If it were more widely used or valid I'd say yes but really you need a good psychiatrist rather than this sort of place.

My mum had early years trauma and saw a great counsellor. PM me if you want more details.

BarInSpace · 16/03/2017 16:28

I have never heard of this.

I would contact the BACP (British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy) here for some advice. They are a respected professional body and registered charity which provides information and sets standards for therapeutic practice.

You can either email them on

FeliciaJollygoodfellow · 16/03/2017 16:29

This sounds dodgy as fuck to me OP, regardless of sexual intent (or not).

I think you need some objective reviews from other medical professionals (not just people that have gone there I mean). It doesn't sound right at all. I can't imagine how it would help.

FlappinSwazy · 16/03/2017 16:30

Ok - to answer some questions. I actually, recently, was in a service that was helpful but I can no longer attend due to funding issues from the CCG (I think that is the name). I've been passed between 17 different services in three years - it's actually made me worse I think.

There is nothing psychosexual about this place, no discipline, no over the knee spanking, no sexual fantasies or desires are played out - it is purely gentle love, hugs, babying and care to attempt to reformulate memories involving abuse.

I can go for a short (few hours) visit, it's one to one and I can specify how much I am comfortable with doing or not doing.

OP posts:

FlappinSwazy · 16/03/2017 16:30

Ok - to answer some questions. I actually, recently, was in a service that was helpful but I can no longer attend due to funding issues from the CCG (I think that is the name). I've been passed between 17 different services in three years - it's actually made me worse I think.

There is nothing psychosexual about this place, no discipline, no over the knee spanking, no sexual fantasies or desires are played out - it is purely gentle love, hugs, babying and care to attempt to reformulate memories involving abuse.

I can go for a short (few hours) visit, it's one to one and I can specify how much I am comfortable with doing or not doing.

OP posts:

EmeraldScorn · 16/03/2017 16:32

I don't understand how being around adults dressed as babies would help you in any way? It sounds like it would be traumatic and to be blunt horrible but good luck, I wish you well and hope you can find some "peace".

SenseiWoo · 16/03/2017 16:34

I second the warnings by previous posters.

Also, I am doubtful this could help heal any trauma. At the very best, you would probably only get a temporary relief from your distress. plus, the adult babies alongside you might well be there to indulge a sexual fetish, and this could have a bad impact on you.

I would also be very worried that if you put yourself into a baby or young child role, you could suffer very difficult flashbacks or panic. Would anyone there be qualified and willing to help you? What is your support network like in case that distress continued beyond the session?

And what does it cost? Unless it is pretty cheap, wouldn't the money be better spent on sessions with a BACP therapist?

BarInSpace · 16/03/2017 16:34

Sorry, incomplete! Contact details for the BACP are:

Tel: 01455 883300
eMail: [email protected]
Text 01455 560606
Website: www.itsgoodtotalk.org.uk/
"Ask Kathleen" service if you have concerns about your therapy: [email protected] or call 01455 883300 and select option 3

user1484578224 · 16/03/2017 16:34

presuming this post is genuine.......don't even think about it. It doesn't sound safe, boundaried or even useful. Who is the psychotherapist in charge?
As previously stated contact BACP

i'm very sorry you were abused but theres no way this is going to help.

SenseiWoo · 16/03/2017 16:35

I don't believe memories can be 'reformulated', sorry. At best, their emotional impact can be blunted and the tendency to go back to them, or have them intrude, can be reduced.

FlappinSwazy · 16/03/2017 16:36

There are no other adult babies - it's one on one - one baby with one "mummy"

Thanks for the BACP suggestion - I will contact them.

SenseiWoo - it's quite expensive but I was hoping it would progress quicker and therefore cost less in the long run. I can't afford twice weekly counselling privately for three years (which is what my NHS referral was for) at the moment.

Literally looking for a quick fix. This may not be it, please keep suggestions and ideas and thoughts coming, they are appreciated hugely.

OP posts:

AbsentmindedWoman · 16/03/2017 16:38

When I say psychosexual, I don't just mean overt sexual fantasies - I mean a subtext where there are references to abstract sexual fantasies. Regression to a "little girl" state, depending on somebody to take care of you, could most definitely fall into this category.

Regression to your younger self is not something to be messed around with by a dubious therapist. You only have to look at the rates of disaster for unequipped therapists trying to cope with a client who has BPD (which means emotionally they are much younger than their years) to see how dangerous it is.

Re-parenting is very shaky territory, and has massive potential to go very wrong. This "adult baby" set up does not sound good to me at all. Even their terminology suggests rank unprofessionalism.

What is in their code of ethics for bodily integrity, out of curiosity? How is touch regulated? Do they change client nappies?

FlappinSwazy · 16/03/2017 16:41

They would change nappies, I don't think my younger self is of the nappy wearing age so I haven't really broached that - but on their feedback page it says they have done. Touch would be mutually decided - I wouldn't be naked.

I do understand what you are saying about BPD and ending in crisis though (I don't have a BPD diagnosis, but I can end up in crisis).

ARGGGGHHHH I'm so sick of feeling this shit. Thank you everyone.

OP posts:

AbsentmindedWoman · 16/03/2017 16:41

here are no other adult babies - it's one on one - one baby with one "mummy"

No ethical therapist would refer to themselves as "mummy". This does not suggest clear boundaries or a healthy therapeutic framework at all.

Bluntness100 · 16/03/2017 16:41

I'm sorry but this is just plain weird. Do you need to dress up as a baby? Wouldn't you feel humiliated? And stupid? Why do you want a stranger hugging and treating you like a baby?

If you think it would work go for it, but for me it's creepy as hell, and i would personally recommend resolving your issues as an adult.

iklboo · 16/03/2017 16:41

There's an awful potential for exploitation here, especially if you're paying high fees. Check the therapist is registered with the HCPC before you part with any money and that they're not done charlatan with an online 'degree' ripping patients off. It would be awful for you to experience another breach of trust.

armpitz · 16/03/2017 16:43

My concern here is not so much the fact that I can't see how it works but that this shouldn't actually take the form of being a literal baby.

So to give an example - someone left in filthy nappies and uncared for doesn't 'heal' by going back in nappies and having them changed, you would place that in a more adult context of general self care: washing and hygiene and so on. (Keeping a home in a decent order is often an ongoing battle for adult abused children.)

I would avoid.

Bluntness100 · 16/03/2017 16:43

No ethical therapist would refer to themselves as "mummy".

MiddleClassProblem · 16/03/2017 16:44

As far as I was aware the fetish side doesn't have to have anything like spanking or sexual contact. Just literally babying the client.

I would think it would be more therapeutic to do a adult "nursery" where you still talk like you/act like you but get to do kid type activities they would in nursery from colouring to play doh, sandpit to slides. That I could see the appeal

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