Conception

Planning on getting pregnant | Problems getting pregnant | Fertility treatments | Ovulation calculator

Signs of ovulation

Cervical mucus changes | Basal body temperature | Ovulation predictor kits | Sex and conception | Choosing the sex of your baby

Once you've got your head round your menstrual cycle (and keeping a record or chart will help you build up a picture), then there are ways of trying to identify your most fertile time of month.

"Your cycle length is counted from the first day of your period to the day before your next one. There's an assumption that a woman with an average cycle of 28 days will ovulate on day 14 but that's not true for everyone. I had a 24-day cycle when I first started TTC and I ovulated on day 16, so as you can see it's not an exact science." beanieb

"I haven't really been on the TTC rollercoaster, but I was aware of fertility in my cycles before getting pregnant, both times, and the first time I knew it was ovulation day...the rest is history! It was quite strange thinking 'I think I just conceived, or at least have a good chance of doing so' and actually then to find I was pregnant a few weeks later." FlightAttendant 

• Cervical mucus changes

So sperm needs to meet egg after ovulation has taken place. But how do you know exactly when that is? How long is a piece of string? Or, more pertinently, how long is a strand of your cervical mucus, because one way of identifying your most fertile time of month is to take note of your vaginal secretions.

The cervical mucus produced just before ovulation is sometimes known as egg white cervical mucus (EWCM) because you may be able to stretch an unbroken strand between your fingers and its consistency is similar to raw egg whites. (If you've got raw egg phobia, this won't be the method for you.)

• Mittelschmerz

By now you're probably thinking, I want a baby, not an intimate acquaintance with my cervical mucus and an enhanced German vocabulary, but 'middle pain' is an abdominal pain some women experience as ovulation approaches. So, again, worth noting if you get it.

• Salivary ferning

Say what? Believe it or not, the pattern your saliva dries in indicates whether you're about to ovulate. You'll need to buy a salivary OPK - basically a microscope - to detect if your saliva dries in a fern-like pattern.

"I have been using my saliva ovulation scope and had strong ferning yesterday but didn't manage SEX so did it this morning and had a negative result on the saliva microscope so looking poor for this month." decorativeD2Bmum

• Basal body temperature

This is your temperature when you wake after at least three hours' sleep. It dips slightly before ovulation and rises afterwards, so charting it is another way of building up a picture of the most fertile phase of your menstrual cycle. You can buy them from chemists or online.

"Buy the basal body thermometer and charting book and start taking your temps now. It isn't a major hassle and from that the specialist can have a good base to work from. Even if you only have a month or two done before you go to the specialist, it's all good info for them." BIgBird

• Ovulation predictor kits

If this all sounds like too much hard work, then you can buy ovulation predictor kits (OPKs), which involve testing your urine on specific days in your cycle to detect luteinising hormone, which triggers ovulation.

A downside is their cost and another is that they're not necessarily accurate if you have certain health issues, such as polycystic ovary syndrome, that might affect your fertility.

"OPKs are not of any use if periods are irregular as these measure the amounts of LH (luteinising hormone) present. Many women with hormonal problems produce an excess of this hormone so the kit reads that instead." AttilaTheMeerkat

One person started an interesting Talk thread asking whether the usefulness of home pregnancy tests is outweighed by the grief they cause. It's worth having a look at what mumsnetters said in response.

But for some women they do work and reduce the hassle element of the whole trying to conceive conundrum.

Sex and conception

There are lots of myths about baby-making sex (positions, timing, determining the baby's gender) but the expert advice is to have sex two to three times a week if you're trying to conceive because sperm can survive for up to seven days in the womb and fallopian tubes. Having sex regularly ensures there will always be some sperm around to meet the egg when you ovulate and the egg is released.

Where, when and how don't matter - the possibilities are endless (well, possibly not if you're TTC and already have children).

"Online forums were a real lifeline for me. Keeping sex fun when you are timing it on days 10, 12, 14, 16, 18 and 20 of your cycle every month for years on end is never going to be easy, spontaneous or fun!" Littlefish

The closer the sperm get to the entrance to your womb (cervix) the better, so we're talking, ahem, deep penetration - missionary, all fours (you get the idea).

Some mums want to give gravity a helping hand and swear by doing a handstand after sex, or tucking a pillow under their bottom to tilt their pelvis upwards after sex (that or they've just read bits of the Karma Sutra we missed).

If it takes a while for you to conceive, you're both going to need some variety (of positions and locations) to stop sex becoming another daily chore after loading the dishwasher and double-locking the front door.

"Have been ttc my second dc for over 7 months now. Tbh I am getting fed up of, well, you know, the necessary and so is my dh. It has become a bit of a chore and it seems we are only doing it for one reason now. Sometimes I have to force my womanly charms on my dh but a lot of the time he is not up for it and is probably settled watching telly." stinkfly

"Do what's best for you. Sex everyday for some people is just a pain. I would rather have sex when I want and have good sex and take a couple of months longer to conceive than 'force' myself to have sex for the sake of a baby!!" takemyMILoffmyhands

It's worth knowing that saliva and lubricant can kill sperm, and so can hot tubs and underwater sex, so stick to dry land/ boats if you're trying to conceive.

Choosing the sex of your baby

The fpa says there's "no reliable scientific evidence to support claims made for choosing the sex of the baby, such as when you have sex, sexual positions or diet". So myths such as have sex in the afternoon for girls and morning for boys, or being a vegetarian means you're more likely to have a girl, are just that - myths.

But that doesn't stop it being a recurring discussion on Talk, for example this thread.

Planning on getting pregnant | Problems getting pregnant | Fertility treatments | Ovulation calculator