1.  Big Boys

2.  New Boys

3.  Hello Boys

The Rat Man says we can ring him if we find any more bodies, and he will come and clear them up.  This is a Good Thing, as The Man has left on another Business Trip. Unfortunately, The Man cannot remember which Rat Man we are using.  He found him in the Yellow Pages, he’s very nice, and he’s been back in his discreet, unmarked van to check his boxes and put more toxic waste in them.  But frankly I’d tolerate a van saying THIS HOUSE HAS RATS with a big arrow pointing at us if  it meant his mobile number was stencilled on the side as well.   The Man left at 3am, so yet again I am wandering around like a zombie.  Son 1 aged 5y 1m ended up in the Big Bed, and came down shortly after I got up.  He used to flit around like a little wraith.  He now sounds like a team of rugby players coming down the stairs. It was slightly spooky listening to him… knowing there was no other adult in the house and yet hearing great clunking footsteps powering down. And then a little figure in Lightning McQueen pyjamas pads in, holding his willy and rubbing his eyes. 

I had to go to The City, which is the best part of a two-hour drive away. When I’d finished, I went into The Shopping Centre, because I’d promised Son 1 I’d go to the Disney Shop to look for squirty toys to take on holiday.  And then… Hold The Front Page, Don’t Faint, Shoot Me Down In Flames… they had a set of Peter Pan figures.  Including The Children and The Dog.  This is an Excellent Thing.  I have spent hours on the internet, trying to find the children for Son 1. I have trailed around Disney Shops (Oxford Street: “Yes we’ve got them upstairs because they’re not very popular.” 20 mins later: “Sorry we’ve sold out.”)  We have plastic Peters in several sizes, a finger puppet Peter and Wendy, three or four Captain Hooks, a fair few crocodiles, several handfuls of  Indians and Lost Boys and pirates, pirates everywhere.   Son 1’s Peter Pan obsession began with a charity shop Disney book I bought for 49p in Feb 2007. He got his first Peter Pan things the following Christmas, and he has longed for John and Michael ever since.  So what I’m saying is, yes I bought him yet another toy.  No, I haven’t thrown out/sorted out any of his old ones. And yes, Son 2 aged 2y 1m had to have a Nemo squirty toy bath set to be fair. 

There were comments about more presents from Granny and Grandad, who were waiting with the boys because I was way too late for Wonder Nanny.  Never mind. The Best Thing today was The New Swimming Costume. Not the one I wanted, not one I would have picked out… but it’s slimming, it fits nicely and it was in the sale.  I was excited for a few minutes because the label said 14E.  In better light, I realised that was the Australian sizing. I’d been worried I was stuck with the skanky baggy swimsuit for the holiday. I got put off the Bravissimo website because I needed to think of a password. (Really sorry, can’t. Got a pile of passwords to remember anyway, and a head so full of Other Stuff that not one more fact can be jemmied in. )  I tried another website. Ordered a beautiful costume on Wednesday. Ticked the box for faster postage to beat the strikes. And got an email saying they’re not expecting them in till next week. Today really was my Last Chance.  I don’t think I’ve worn a halter neck in my life but Granny thinks it’s great.

1.  Breakfast

2. Pat pat pat

3. Forgiveness

Had a veggie sausage sandwich for breakfast while I looked at the paper.  Son 2 aged 10m was asleep - he is crashing out again soon after his milk feed at the moment.  Might be related to the hours he spends awake at night.  Son 1 aged 3 y 10m was upstairs on the big bed, wrapped up in the quilt, watching telly.  The Man was heading out on a Business Trip that was going to be one night, but may now be more.  I told Son 1 we’d aim at walking into The Town, but it never stopped raining.

I played pirates with Son 1 for a bit while Son 2 was asleep. Not for long enough, and I did more mending and sorting than playing.  When I was on maternity leave we had long and involved stories and battles, which Son 1 just wants to return to.  But we can’t because now Son 2 crawls (pat pat pat pat) and eats everything it’s just too dangerous.  I think it’s very hard for Son 1 when The Man is away.  Son 2 takes such a lot of effort… and Son 1 longs to play with me.  We did ok because Son 2 had three short naps today, but Son 1 needed longer.   

I still don’t know how stay-at-home mums do it.  All I seemed to do today was laundry, cooking, cleaning and tidying up toys.  Why is it supposedly better for small boys to watch women do that all day than to go nursery?  How do people get time to glue pasta into collages and make muffins? Bathtime, I played peepabo with Son 2.  When I put Son in the bath, he wanted to play too.  So, me lying on the bathroom floor, peering up at the top of the bath.  First one little fist, then another appears at the top.  Son 2 with his three teeth up, two teeth down smile, looking down at me with the light behind his head.  Next to him, Son 1’s head, laughing and laughing, “Let’s do it again!” This is seconds after I’d told him off for screeching and hurting my ear.  “Let me off like Wendy and Tinkerbell,” he said.