1.  Mummy Vanishes

2.  Fishing

3.  Finding Nemo

The Man was still alive this morning.  “I did think you might be worried.  I’ll take my phone up with me next time.”  “Is it a Wonder Nanny day today?” asked Son 1 aged 4y 10m as I was getting ready for The Office.  “Yes,” I said. “And then Mummy will be with you tomorrow.” He let off a high wail.  “You don’t (sob) love your boys (sob.)”  Thanks for that one Son 1, I’ll even up a little when I’m in the nursing home.  Son 2 aged 23m was a little darling. “Neno!  Neno!” I do an abridged version of Son 1’s Disney book. “Tak Ta!”  His lift-the-flap farm book.  I almost got him to sit all the way through The Cat In The Hat last night. The Cat was a winner, so was the fish.  He went walkabout well before Mother Came Home.

I had to drive to The City. The roads were ok, it’s always good to see my colleagues from The City Office, and someone said something very nice to me in a meeting. On the way back I stopped at Waitrose because we’re out of Cheerios and tea. A friend wants Wonder Nanny to take her child as well as our two for one day.  Fine, I said, but I’ll have to ask Wonder Nanny. She’d gone by the time I got back. Son 1 pelted down the stairs to greet me, Son 2 just sat up top laughing. 

Son 2 is great. “How old are you going to be on your birthday, Son 2?” “Doooo.”  We sat and read, and then he had his bath, lying face down, full length in it as he played with two tigers and a donkey. His post-bath game is called “Boo.” It involves him lying down with a towel over him. “Daddy, Daddy, something terrible’s happened!  I can’t find Son 2!”  Daddy comes in - somehow this is always timed just after he’s lain down on the bed - lifts up the towel and there is Son 2, who laughs his head off.  Son 1 also plays. He comes in, points at Son 2 and says “He’s there. Under the towel. He’s always under the towel.  Every time.” Again, thanks for that. I put a toy Nemo we’ve had hanging around for ages into the cot with Son 2 tonight, in the hope it might stop him screaming for me the minute I leave. He still screamed, but not for as long.  Could this possibly be the solution?

1.  Daddy Rings The Bell

2.  Show That All Is Well

3.  Rocking, Rolling, Raging

Man, what a week. It doesn’t feel like I’ve seen Son 1 aged 4y 10m and Son 2 aged 22m. Which is daft, because I had my half day on Tuesday and as usual had Wednesday.  I left early again, this time needing to go to The City for The Office.    Son 2 apparently had a really bad night and kept The Man up throughout.  I didn’t hear anything. This is Indeed A Good Thing.  Apart from they were both fairly fractious by the time I got up.  Son 2 was lovely for our morning reading time though.  Say Hello to The Animals, Full Of Love, The Boy On The Beach, Maisie’s Fire Engine and The Snail And The Whale.  I like to think I do 5 books in the morning with him and 5 books in the evening. So he has 70 books a week.  This will Help His Receptive Language and Ensure He Has A Large And Confident Vocabulary.  In Son 2’s Top 10 words are Burp, Bart (for fart) and Bum Bum, when he bends over and waggles his bottom in the air.   These have so far not featured in any of his children’s books.  They are though heavily over-used by Son 1.  And before you start really hating me, the 5 books is a target.  Many, many days I am just too knackered.

A long old day in The City, and then back again. I stopped at Waitrose.  Like I did on Tuesday.  When I bought a two-pint bottle of organic milk, got it home and found it had a use-by date of the previous day, and a sell-by date of the day before that. Waitrose!  I always thought they were up there with John Lewis and… John Lewis as quality brands. I phoned them up and they grovelled, and told me to come back in and they’d give me a refund. They gave me a refund and a new bottle of milk. Sell by August 7. I checked. 

Younger Sister is down, just till tomorrow. She had Nanna to stay, and brought her back yesterday. So I had a Grand Plan that we could all eat out at Pizza Express.  5 o’clock, I said. And then got stuck, stuck, stuck in the traffic. Friday evening in the school holidays, what was I thinking of? i got there at about 6pm. I could hear a baby crying from outside. Too young to be  Son 2, I thought. As I came up the stairs, I looked into the eyes of a contorted, red, screaming toddler face.  Son 2 in Tantrum Town. The Man was just Iron Maiden-ing him into the high chair.  There wasn’t much I could do with him either.  It was good to get out, and good to see Younger Sister, who goes back tomorrow.  Son 2’s second mega-strop this week. I hope it’s not because I’ve not been around.

1.   Another bug

2.  And another one

3.  Lost and found

Son 1 aged 3y 11m was so ill last night.  I was doing some Office work downstairs when there was a gruesome, bubbly, hacking, choking coughing session from upstairs.  I went up and I could smell the sick as soon as I got in the doorway.  (I have next to no sense of smell.)  He was lying in a pool of it.  On the bed.  On the pillow.  On his hair, on his pyjamas.  Son 2 aged 1 woke up. I put Son 1 in the bath, stripped him off, put on the shower and used J cloths to gather up the vast pile of undigested solids from the bed.  Then rolled it all up into a ball and put the washing machine on.  All the time, Son 2 was HOWLING.  It took me 45 minutes to clear up, wash Son 1, cuddle him and put him upstairs in the Big Bed.  Son 2 barely drew breath, and just got louder and louder and more and more extreme.  “I’ll just go downstairs and settle Son 2,” I said to poor, hot, ill Son 1.  “He’ll be so tired after all that crying that I’ll be back in a few minutes.”  It was nearly 1am by the time I got him to sleep.  He was just so wound up and worried and needy.  I rang The Man - on his way back from the Airport - and told him he was in with Son 2. 

He got back at 3am.      I woke up at 6.  Went to the loo and threw up.  I’ve been really ill all day.  But I’m off on Monday and Tuesday, and there was an Office meeting in The City, so I soldiered on.  The Man stayed at home with Son 2, whose nappies are still unfit for group childcare situations. Raging nappy rash as well, poor lamb. All this and our mega-both-boys-party tomorrow.  I took Son 1 to the New Nursery.  He ate toast for breakfast,  slept in the car on the way there… was very clingy when I was dropping him off… But looking on the bright side as always, it was School Photo day, so hopefully I’ll get a nice pic of him.  And he went swimming, and the teachers said he’d brightened up afterwards.  The Man brought him home at lunchtime.

I had a rough time on the way to The City, while I was there, and on the way back again. It’s a three-hour round trip, it was really hard and I probably shouldn’t have done it.  But… there’s a Waitrose near The City, so I bought a pile of food for the party.  It’s pretty low maintenance stuff but I think my bug gets me out of any food preparation.  I’ve never been to Waitrose before.  I lost my credit card wallet, and just as I was pushing the trolley up and down the aisle looking for it, my name was called over the Tannoy.  A lucky star overhead, obviously.