1.  Words

2.  Pictures

3.  Action

I woke at 4am and couldn’t go back to sleep.  At 5am I went downstairs with Vikram Seth’s Two Lives.  A Wednesday Mother is running her book club this month and we are all reading it so we can go along.  A Suitable Boy defeated me.  I can’t remember why, especially as I’m really enjoying this one.  And I’m usually good at persevering.  I think the only other one I abandoned, bored, baffled and bewildered, was Ulysses.  One miserable summer when I decided I would only read mind-enriching work.  I escaped into  Harlan Coben and wouldn’t come out for months afterwards.   The Man came down at 0530, and then decided he’d have another go at going back to sleep.  And next thing I heard from upstairs was the shower running. 

Son 1 aged 4y 6m wet the bed and Son 2 aged 18m did a mighty poo that went through his pyjamas.  The Man showered Son 1 and stripped the bed while I pressure-washed Son 2.  Into the bath together.  Two shiny wet faces, looking up smiling. They’re grrrreat.  Our morning routine destroyed, we ended up in the lounge.  Son 1 was pulling out the train track; Son 2 was pressing the button to make the DVD drawer come out and go back in again.  And removing the Sky card.  And taking the DVDs out and putting them somewhere.  Poor Cars.  We’ve only had it five days and it has been posted somewhere that only Son 2 knows about.

We went to a Family Fun Day at the local secondary school.  Loads of activities, all free.  Son 1 loved it. He skateboarded and ran round with Best Friend.  Son 2 was harder.  I spent a lot of time trying to catch up the others with the Big Pram in a school riddled with stairs. And then packed it up in the car and carried him.  Son 1 was playing on the skateboards, but Son 2 just wanted to run around.  In an area where 10 year olds on BMXs were swooping back and forth between ramps.  He was tired, strong-willed, deeply interested, not old enough and more than I could manage.  We went inside.  Son 1 waited for half an hour for a dinosaur balloon from the Balloon Man. And then we went outside and Son 2 ran around, picking daisies and crunching up fallen leaves.  The sun blazed down.  Son 1 stripped to his pants and played with Best Friend.  His Mother and I finally got to sit on the grass.  Until Son 2 spotted a gap between some classrooms and started his usual bid for freedom.  

I put Son 1 to bed, lying next to him.  And fell asleep.  The Man woke me when he went to bed at 11pm.  I still needed to work… and stopped at 1am.

1.  Far Away And Dreaming

2.  Smile While You Are Sleeping

3.  A Moment I Treasure

An undisturbed night, and The Man and I woke before the boys.  We went downstairs, eventually Son 1 aged 4y 6m wailed. The Man went up. I followed with drinks and snacks. They were in Son 1’s bed. I got in too.  Me: “There were three in a bed and the little one said - ” Son 1: “I’ll just go and get Son 2.”  Me and The Man:  “NOOOOOOO!”  I read three library books to Son 1. He eventually went to peek at Son 2 aged 18m.   And he was UP.  Sleepy and hot, standing up in the cot, gripping the rail and smiling and laughing.  The Man took Son 1 downstairs for telly, Son 2 and I read. 

Breakfast. The Wiggles.  Thomas Wooden Railway. Every piece we own, and we own a lot.  The Man wanted to go to the Big Town, so off we drove.  The boys fell asleep in the car, so we drove down to the Big Town’s park, left them sleeping and went and got takeaway coffees. I sat outside the kiosk with the paper, The Man looked at the boats in the river.  Sunny, with a cold breeze.  Cawing rooks. We parked for shopping, the boys woke. I took them on the Merry-Go-Round. We met colleagues from The Office who’ve had an incredibly worrying time with their two-year-old.  Some very important tests have come back negative.  The Best Thing.   We walked Son 2 on his reins and he chuckled and called and kept stopping to pat the pavement.  We looked unsuccessfully for shoes for Son 1. He wanted shoes with toys in the heels; or Ben 10 shoes. He has long narrow feet. Nothing fitted.  We have to find something soon because his trainers just don’t fit him any more.

On the way back Son 1 was holding Son 2’s hand in the car, and the air was filled with burbling baby giggles and hearty little boy laughter.   They kicked off their shoes and took off their socks and I tickled their feet with Five Little Piggies, and Round And Round The Garden.  More peels of magical baby chortles.  “I don’t want to be tickled any more Mummy, I need a nice rest,” said Son 1.   So did I.  The Man did pizza for tea, and we had them in bed and asleep by 1830 old time.

1.  Action Man

2.  Crikey

3.  She Can’t Fly But I’m Telling You…

0605.  Son 2 aged 18m.  The usual. Downstairs for snacks and drinks.   Son 2 stopped off in the lounge.  Doing his little jig.  Over to the shelf with the DVDs on. Pointing. “Mama.”  This means “I’ve got a good idea. Let’s put The Wiggles on.”   In the kitchen he disappeared out the back by the washing machine.  This means “I’ve got a good idea. Let’s go outside.”   Back upstairs The Man had a shower and first Son 1 aged 4y 6m, and then Son 2, got in and joined him.  And then they were back in the lounge. Both boys played with The Wooden Railway and I put The Wiggles on for Son 2. 

The boys went to the Aquarium today with Wonder Nanny, her Nanny friend, and the two little boys she looks after.  They went around twice.  They touched rays’ eggs and lobsters.  They saw the giant octopus out of its tank.  Son 2 loved it.  I came in just as the boys were finishing their tea. Son 1 acted out the giant octopus.  Son 2 tried to Go Outside.  “Can we play Pirate Snakes And Ladders now?” Son 1 asked Wonder Nanny.  We looked blank. “On top of my wardrobe.” Son 1 said helpfully.  “Where did we get Pirate Snakes and Ladders?” I asked. “When I was four.  From Best Friend.” “Have we played with it since then?” “Not for a long long time.”  I went up to the big bedroom and burrowed in the eave.  Son 1 did indeed get some presents for his birthday (and for Christmas) which we put away almost as soon as they were unwraped because he had so many.  He’d seen the Snakes and Ladder set in the Aquarium shop, and remembered it from six months back.   Crikey.

Son 2 howling with temper and tiredness at bedtime, so I picked digger books to make him feel better.  “Di Di Di Di” he now says when he sees the digger page.  “dum dum dum” for the dump trucks.  The words are coming through.  His bye bye is strange - a perfectly formed adult phrase delivered in an adult tone.  I will do another list of words.  I am still putting my head right into his cot to help send him off to sleep.  He has started slinging his arms round my neck, grabbing my hair and pulling me close.  I don’t see enough of him.  wednesday tomorrow, which is a Good Thing. And I got out for a run, which is another.

1.  Early Speech

2.  Trains And Boats

3.  Everyone Else

Marvellous Night My A***.  Son 1 aged 4y 5m woke shouting at 3pm and That Was It.  I couldn’t sleep, I went downstairs and in the double bed next to Son 2 aged 18m’s cot… he woke up at about 4am calling “Ma Ma! Ma Ma!” and I ignored him.  Then he woke again at 0530 and we were off and up.  18 amazing months old.  Wordcount.  Look Away if you’re bored, this is a scientific project.  I am Capturing Language Development.  Ma Ma. Da Da.  Na (for no) Sss (with nodding) for yes.  Aaar for parrot.  Rarr for lion, tiger, bear and dinosaur.  Mooo for cow.  Woo for Dog.  Na Na (snap snap) for crocodile.  Dum dum (”Dump trucks are good at dump, dump dumping”) for lorry/vehicle.  Bye Bye.  Allo.  Meeh for milk.  Oooo (hoo, hoo) for owl.   Ba Ba for beep beep.  Rabid screaming: I am Disappointed.  His understanding is fantastic.  At one point today I asked Son 1 “Do you want CBeebies or The Wiggles?”  Son 2 nodded and jigged.  “You want The Wiggles?”  Nodding.  Off he trotted to the shelf where the DVDs live. 

Getting ready to visit The Museum with the Wednesday Friends, the boys escaped upstairs while I tidied.  I heard boxes being pulled out.  After 15 minutes I went upstairs to check.  They’d pulled out some Thomas Wooden Railway boxes, and Son 1 had started to build a track.  They were both hiding in the cupboard, pulling the doors closed behind them.  We finished the track, they played with two electric engines and I went downstairs again.  Son 1 wore his Captain Hook outfit for the Museum, and we walked all the way down.  Old ladies twinkled at him, and, by the time we got there he was twinkling back.  He played with Best Friend and Three Year Old With His Arm In Plaster.   Son 2 played in the boats, but fundamentally  just wanted to go upstairs, to go outside, to get out into the world.

We all went into Pizza Express for lunch.  Five boys under five, and we got away with it.  I had vegetables, pitta and hummous for Son 2, and Son 1, who was starving, raided it. We had a bottle of wine between us, and wondered whether our lunch was stress-free because the boys behaved, or because we’d added alcohol.  Afterwards Son 2 dozed for about twenty minutes of the walk home.  Son 1 managed the whole walk.  ”I want you to change your mind and buy me a gun to play with.” “No. I don’t want you playing with guns.”  “Everyone else has got one.”  The first one.  Before he’s four and a half.  I’m so proud.    He found a thick stick and played shooting people all the way home.    Where I heard the news from Germany. 

I made roast dinner, Nanna came round.  The boys, The Man, Nanna and I ate dinner.  Son 1 stayed at the table and ate two pieces of parsnip.  It was all very successful.  Until pudding, which was some iced buns/cup cakes I’d bought earlier.  Son 1 ate the icing from the doughnut and Gromit cup cake … and then started careering round, fizzing like a Catherine Wheel.

1.   The Elephant’s Spout

2.   Never Land

3.   Happy Feet

Son 1, aged 4y 5m, having stung us for a Power Ranger outfit, has lost interest in his sticker chart and getting stars for staying in his own bed.  I woke up Whenever, and he was on my side while I was squodged up in the middle.  Son 2 aged 17m woke yelling at 4am, so I went down and helped him back to sleep, and then slept in Son 1’s bed.  Son 1 came climbing in early… and then went into Son 2 when he heard him waking up and crying.  The Man went to him, and I stayed in bed, grimly clinging on till I HAD to get up.  Son 2 cried.  ”I’m taking Son 2 downstairs; he’s hungry,” The Man proclaimed.  Son 1 stood at the top of the landing and bellowed down:  “He’s not hungry - he just wants his Mummy!”  In the shower, Son 2 has completely perfected the art of tipping the water in the top of the Winnie The Pooh tower so it spouts out of the elephant’s trunk at the bottom.  A Christmas Present I picked up in TK MAxx.  18m+.  He has mastered it a week early.  Clearly a Gifted Child.

Son 2 and I snugged up on the double bed to get him to sleep for his morning nap - big treat - while Son 1 watched a DVD.  He chose Peter Pan, and got out the big Pirate Ship, the Lost Boys’ raft and the Indian Camp.  When he chose to wear his Power Ranger outfit to his party on Saturday, I had a mild Pang, feeling we were At Last waving bye bye to the pirates.   Here they are, back already.  We went round to Best Friend’s house for lunch and a play.  Best Friend decided he and Son 1 weren’t friends any more.  Because Son 1 never lets him be the Captain.  After lunch they finally make up and normal service was resumed.  And then Best Friend’s Little Brother put on a film.  Return to Neverland.

Back home Son 1 played pirates, Son 2 played with him.  We bought all Son 1’s pirate stuff when Son 2 was about 3 or 4 m old.  We didn’t know he’d grow up wanting to chew it or pull it to pieces or break bits off.  Nanna came round.  Son 2 played with the Thomas Wooden Railway.  I tried to watch the end of Happy Feet, but failed, and so finally watched it all the way through after the boys had gone to bed.  One of the penguins has a Couch Of Permanent Indulgence.  So do I.  This is Blog 300.  I started it as a bit of CBT - the idea being if you write down the good things that happen, you’ll train your brain off the thinking that makes you ill.  It works.  I look for moments that I like each day… and I’m also much better at dealing with other Life and Office stuff.  And, if I ever backed this up,  I’d have  nearly a year’s worth of little snapshots of the boys’ life.  I’m sure they’ll thank me for it later.

1.  Reception

2.  Remembrance

3.  Remedies

“Thankyou Mummy for waking me up when Daddy got back.”  In the middle of the night.  Son 1 aged 4y 5m, climbing into the bed. Being sarcastic.  No memory of my carrying him down two flights of stairs for Daddy cuddles.   The Man being back is a Good Thing.  Yesterday marked 22 years of us Being Together.  One day Son 2 aged 17m will feel special because his parents were together for well over 20 years before he was born….  Two pairs of hands, so things were easier, although kick off was still 0615.   Son 1 was excited, Son 2 was happy but clingy.  Now both parents were around, he wasn’t going to get fobbed off with the Second Best one.  

We went to a Garden with a friend and her 3 year old.  There were nature trails for the children with treasure hunts, and we needed seaweed from the beach, so we trailed down the long steep woodland.  Son 2 walked a bit, was carried a bit, picked up gravel a bit.  Son 1 and 3 year old friend found sticks and fought, and looked in ponds for fish and frogs, and trampled through bamboo clumps.  Son 1 fell over and smashed his nose and forehead on the path.  The sky was blue, the sun was warm, there were few other visitors.  The big pond at the bottom of the valley was filled with foot-long rainbow trout, clamouring underneath a viewing platform, suggesting many packed lunches have headed their way.  Last time I’d stood there I was miscarrying Son 1 and a half.  The memories were vivid. Who we were with.  Son 1 aged 2y 2m in wellies, saying “I’m stuck!” when his foot was jammed between two rocks.   Holding his sticks all the way down.  The bleak, hopeless, misery.  We didn’t get onto the beach that time, so the vivid flashback vanished as we walked up and down the steps. All three boys loved the seashore.  Son 1 and his friend charged around, climbed rocks and balanced on walls.  Son 2 scrunched on the shingle and headed, time and time again, for the sea.   

Back home again and we were all exhausted.  Son 1 and I watched Madagascar.  Son 2 played “beds,” laughing, giggling, cuddling Mummy, and finally pulled out the Thomas Wooden Railway.  Son 1 joined us and we built a track and Son 2 put electric trains on it and added carriages.  He pushed the engines up the bridge and watched intently as they rolled down the other side.  At tea time I made pizza while they both went out into our miniscule yard with The Man, who was trying to put an artificial grass playsurface down across the lethal concrete.  Son 1 rushed for his toy tool set,  hammmered walls and tried to fit pieces of astroturf together.  He was in raptures, helping Daddy, playing with his tools, knowing what the job was.   Son 2 tottered about and fell over a lot.  They were both asleep in minutes of us getting them in their beds.

1.  Louder Than Words

2.  A Perfect Lunch

3.  Pat And Peter

Three years to the weekend since Son 1 aged 4y 4m was christened.  He was further forward in his speech than Son 1 aged 16m. When the water was splashed on his forehead he said “No, no, no.”   Son 2 can’t do yes and no.  But this morning,  I called across the room: “Son 2, have you done a poo?”  And he looked at me and did his tiny-fast movements nodding thing. He did indeed need a new nappy…

We went shopping in The Big Town.   Son 2 had stayed awake all the way there and was barely conscious. Choice.  Push the pram, have him fall asleep for a very short time, and then have to stop and get him some food Or Else.  Give him lunch at 1145 and let him fall asleep for a longer snooze.  We went to a cafe/bar.  The waitress understood the situation perfectly.  She slapped the children’s lunch order in before taking the rest of our order, and brought out 2 x sausage and chips in minutes. The children behaved impeccably.  The first stress-free family lunch we have had.  We shopped, and called into see Son 2’s Godmother, who isn’t well.  In her lounge was Son 2’s thirteen year old Godbrother, six girls and two boys.  The girls were making tutus for a party.  The Godmother had no idea who any of them were.  But she says at least she knows where Godbrother is.

Back home, the boys played with the Thomas Wooden Railway.  We have a lot of this, and Son 1 has always been a bit ambivalent.  Not many Pirates in Thomas.  But Son 2 loves it, which means Son 1 is also playing with it more often.  I made broccoli in cheese and onion sauce with pasta for tea.  They wolfed it.  Son 2 had fourths.  They got down from the table.  I read the paper and drank wine.  Son 1 came back, perching himself on the chair next to me, and playing with a Postman Pat van, and a plastic Postman Pat and Jess.  “I believe in cats, I believe in cats, I believe in cats.”  I looked up.  “What’s Postman Pat saying to Jess?” “I believe in cats.” “Why?”  “Because Jess has died.”  The pervasive Peter Pan again.  If you say you don’t believe in fairies,  one dies.

1.  Sleeping Through

2.  Sock Triumph

3.  Soft Touch

Son 2 aged 14m went down in his cot last night and stayed there until 0620 this morning.  Which last night gave me the tortured choice of check him and wake him up vs what if he’s dead?    I have never, ever, heard of or encountered anyone who sleeps as lightly as Son 2.  I swear the ting of a radiator, the click of a knee or the sound of a contact lens falling on the floor can wake him.   But we’re getting there.  A month ago I could only get him to sleep by lying on the bed next to him, and had to go to him each time he awoke in case he rolled off.  And he needed a grown up to sleep with him.  And now he’s doing ok on his own.  Unless your tummy rumbles…

I found the sock, hooray hooray.  A woman in a pinny, smoking a fag, watched me carefully as I scoured the Quay.  “I’m looking for a little boy sock,” I said. “We lost it in the dark last night.” “There’s a sock over there,” she said. “But it’s not a little boy’s.”  Yes it was.  Squodged, soaking, muddy and run over several times.   Yes I know it’s only a sock.  But inconvenience/annoyance of having to go back and look for it < inconvenience/annoyance of having five Nursery socks.  Forever.

The boys went to a play park with Wonder Nanny, and her Nanny Friend and her two charges… and then had them round this afternoon with the Thomas Wooden Railway boxes out.   A nightmare getting home from The Office.  A broken down bus on a single lane stretch and no escape from the stationary traffic.  Late late late.  Late for Wonder Nanny going home, late putting the boys to bed.  Son 2 is always first out of the bath, and then Son 1 aged 4 y 1m.  He wraps himself up in a big towel, and Son 2 helps me pat him dry.  Many, many giggles.